Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: This is the first fic I ever wrote. I have the completed version posted over on ff.net and I hoped it might find a nice home here on the KB. I'll start with two posts I think, then update weekly. It might start off a little slow, 'cause I was just getting my bearings as a writer, but please bear with it. Here goes nothing, dear lord, I hope I'm doing this right...

Chapter 1--Friends

Friend.

It was not a word Tara Maclay had ever dreamed of being called. Nor did she ever think she would have someone whom she could call a friend. Tara had always been quiet and shy, never really outgoing about anything. Besides her magic that is. But after her mother died, Tara didn't have anyone to share that magic with.

A few days before, that had all changed when one small redhead and a few tall, creepy demons entered her life. Well, the demons were only really important because they acted as the catalyst for her newfound friendship with the fiery-haired Willow Rosenburg.

Friend-ship.

The word still seemed foreign to Tara, but she was sure that was what it was. When they had held hands to keep the demons at bay, Tara had felt something unmistakable. She reasoned that this must have been friendship.

Tara felt a smile break across her face as she considered the idea. She had seen Willow a few more times since the incident, and each time had been just as novel and enjoyable as the last. The blonde-haired wicca checked her watch and double checked the wall clock just to be sure. According to the message she had just received, Willow should be stopping by any minute. Tara could hardly contain her excitement when she heard someone knock at her door.

The door opened to reveal a figure now very familiar to Tara. "Howdy," said the redhead, smiling. "You up for a spell-casting good time?"

"Hi W-willow," said Tara quietly, but with a smile on her face. Tara was still easing into this friendship thing. She had never been particularly good at greetings, let alone full conversations. She was trying to work on her awkward stutter but it had been a part of her for her entire life, it would take a while to get rid of.

Willow didn't mind the stutter though. To the contrary, she found it somewhat endearing. In fact, she found everything about Tara endearing. The way she spoke, the way she laughed, and especially the way she smiled. As glad as Tara was to have Willow in her life, that feeling was reciprocated by Willow and then some. Willow realized that the wicca was the first real friend she had made since, well since Buffy.

"So, I h-have some herbs and, uh, some spices," Tara began, "I'm sure there's some spell we can c-cast with these ingredients."

"Or, failing that, we could probably make a mean soup," Willow joked, making Tara laugh.

The two stayed up late into the night trying out some harmless and, occasionally, very entertaining spells.

"That was fun, I'm glad we got a chance to do this," said Willow. "We should really hang out more often."

"D-definitely," agreed her friend. "I think we could benefit from a repeat performance of my t-teddy bear doing the Macarena."

Now it was Willow's turn to laugh. The two said their goodbyes and Willow started off back to her dorm. On her way, she couldn't help thinking how lucky she was to find a friend like Tara. Meanwhile, Tara herself was also basking in the newfound bliss of friendship.

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: So, once again with the please bear with the story i promise it gets better. Also I never really had a beta for any of this stuff so if you notice anything outstanding in terms of failure to grammar correctly just send me a PM and I'll fix 'er up post hasty.

Chapter 2--Confessions

It had been about a week since Tara and Willow had started to hang out. Mostly, their interactions consisted of light chatting and much spell-casting. Just recently, they had attempted a fairly intense spell in which they tried to test their mental synchronicity by floating a rose and taking off the petals one by one. Ultimately, the spell failed. Miserably. Willow had attributed this failure to some strange presence; a dark magic which she later discovered to be Ethan Rayne. Tara, on the other hand, thought it was something else.

Since they had begun their friendship, Tara had felt deeply connected to the other witch in a way she had unable to explain. At first, she assumed it was a purely magical connection. Recently, however, she had begun to realize that it transcended that. In Tara's mind, the bond that they shared was almost spiritual. Although she barely knew the girl, Tara was convinced that Willow Rosenburg was quite literally her soulmate.

Plus, Tara thought, it doesn't hurt that she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

While they had been performing the spell with the rose, Tara had been pondering this connection. She had allowed her mind to wander, however, losing her grasp on Willow's mind and causing the spell to fail. The dark magic that Willow sensed exacerbated the failure, causing the rose to become a floral missile. Not wanting to implicate herself, Tara had agreed that it was probably the source of the spell's failure as well. But she knew that she couldn't suppress her feelings forever.

One night, she decided to call up Willow. Traditionally, Willow had been the one to initiate a plan for the two of them but tonight Tara decided that seeing Willow was too important to wait for.

"Hey W-willow?" She said into the phone, "It's Tara."

"Tara, good I was actually just gonna call you!" The blonde smiled at this. The idea that someone else had wanted to see her still made her feel special. In fact, everything Willow did made her feel special. She was distracted her thoughts when the object of them interjected: "Tara? You still there?"

"Yeah I'm h-here, sorry," she responded, blushing. "So I was thinking, m-maybe…if you'd like to come over…"

"That'd be awesome!" exclaimed the redhead enthusiastically. "Got some new spells for us to work on?"

"Um, a-actually I was hoping we could maybe just talk, if that's alright with you that is…" Tara said nervously.

"Yeah, of course that's fine," came the response.

Tara exhaled, relieved. "That's good. 'Cause I just f-feel like, we're hanging out so much but we d-don't really know each other very w-well."

"Yeah, you're absolutely right!" Willow now realized that their friendship had been so centered around magic that they had hardly taken time to get to know one another. "I'll be over in a little bit okay?"

Tara nodded, then, realizing Willow couldn't actually see her nod, she responded: "Great, s-see you s-soon."

After a few hours of lying on Tara's bed talking about school, favorite colors, favorite movies and that sort of thing, Tara had finally worked up enough courage to start the conversation she had really wanted to address.

"So a-are you seeing anyone right now?" She asked trying not to be too obvious about her intentions.

"Well, no not right now," said Willow. "I kinda just got out of a long relationship."

Reading the look on Willow's face Tara concluded: "Didn't end so well huh?"

"Definitely sub-awesome ending," agreed Willow, nodding. "But I really think I'm starting to move on. Or at least, I'm not accidentally cursing my friends anymore so I'd say that's a big plus." Seeing Tara's confused look Willow quickly added, "Long story, I'll tell you another time."

Tara nodded leaving the two momentarily in silence. Feeling suddenly very awkward, Willow realized that the polite thing to do would be to ask Tara about herself.

"So, um how about you? Pretty girl like you must have a boyfriend right?" Willow asked, attempting to make up for her previous awkwardness by complimenting Tara. In the end though, her comment had quite the opposite effect.

"Oh, um, actually n-no," Tara said blushing deeply from the mixture of Willow's compliment and her upcoming admission. "I'm um, I'm actually gay. N-not that I have a girlfriend either, I just um, j-just thought I should tell you."

"Oh," said Willow only mildly taken aback. "Well that's cool. I mean, good, for you that is, for being so open about it. How long have you known?"

"Actually, for as long as I can remember," said Tara. This was the first time Tara had been saying any of this out loud to anyone besides her mother but she had rehearsed it so many times in her head that she didn't stutter over a single word. "Growing up, the only men I knew were, well they weren't very nice people. The only reference I really had for love between a man and a woman was my parents' marriage which was…less than perfect. I guess I just always thought of women as more comforting than men, more capable of true love."

"Oh," was all Willow could think to say. She didn't want to admit to Tara, or even to herself for that matter, that a lot of what Tara had just said really resonated with the redhead.

They sat in silence for a while longer but this time it wasn't a tense, awkward silence. It was a comfortable silence in which many things went unsaid until finally Willow mentioned that it was late, and she didn't want Buffy to worry. Tara nodded and Willow began leave. Before she exited, she turned to Tara.

"Listen, Tara, I'm really glad we did this." She wasn't sure why she said it, but she felt that it needed to be said.

"Me too," said Tara as she smiled a sort of loving, half-smile. Willow smiled in return and went on her way.

Very beleiveable. You're showing a good understanding of the psychological processes of both of them. I mean, a lot of us ehre have written stories on this theme ("Queen of Hearts" is a major tour de force in progress, but a lot of shorter peices are in the archives, mine included.) But this takes it from a very plausible new angle. Looking forward to more!

_________________
Snapshots:http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story
____________________________________________________________
Kim: (breaks off the kissing) I l... (Sue stops her with a hand)
Sue: We don't talk about things like that right after, you know that, no saying those things in The Moment.
Kim: (moves the hand aside) Screw The Moment. I *love* you.

Aww, very sweet. Of course, I'm a total sucker for the "S4 behind the scenes" category of story.

I really like the title. Actually, it reminds me of a moment from the first sex scene from Junecleavage's "Night of Broken Glass:"



(This story, I have just discovered, is in Pens, not the archives, despite being completed in 2007. If you haven't read it, you should; amazing story+extremely hot sex=yes.)

I'm always so intrigued by how people write Tara. I mean, I know that I write a very different Tara, but here you're writing almost opposite the way I do--and that's not a bad thing. I think a huge part of what's so appealing about Tara as a character is that so little of her is set in stone; it leaves this huge space to flesh her out. Which I'm pretty sure I've gone on about at length elsewhere, so I won't here.

You say "Verymuchyesplease" in terms of feedback, but don't specify what kind of feedback you're after. If you could be more specific, that would be useful. I have some thoughts on POV usage (since I'm a purist), but you may not care/want that.


Oh, and DaddyCatALSO: *blush* Thanks.

_________________
More of a dog person, myself.
I'm from Iowa, we drive four hours for a high school football game.
Queen of Hearts • The Sincerest Form of Flattery • Drabbles

Yay!! You decided to post it!! I'm very happy because now I get to enjoy it all over again.

I love this......mainly because I kinda feel the same way. It really resonated with me as well.

Throughly enjoying this the second time around:)

_________________
Shelby - Racing The Rain (IN PROGRESS) / Baby Makes Three (IN PROGRESS) / The Santa Line / Everything She Does...Is Beautiful / Calfornia Grass

"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are

Well, I'm seeing it for the first time, and I like it too! As BeMyDeputy says, I'm also a sucker for S4 fics, especially first meetings - I think it's the anticipation, and the feeling that you know what's coming, mixed with the uncertainty that this writer might have different ideas.

More, please!

_________________
Kinda straight now, still not narrow...

DaddyCatALSO: Thanks muchly for the positive reinforcement! Funny story, when I first came up with the idea I was pretty new to the whole fan fiction concept so I was like "this is such a good idea, I bet no one else has thought of it!" hehe. I was very wrong.

BeMyDeputy: *sigh* If only all math made this much sense life would be far simpler. Thanks for the advice in re: feedback wanting. I fixed it right up as you can see. Thing is, I'm more than happy to hear (er, read) what you have to say about POV and whatnot, but this story is already done so I wouldn't really be applying it here. But it might be very helpful for future stories I'll write so I say go for it! Way I see it, any advice is good advice. Except for bad advice I guess...

Finey_McFine: Yaay! I'm glad you're enjoying it the second time! Starting with this chapter I've even made some edits from how it was over on ff, so maybe that'll make it even more enjoyable. So glad you're reading!

ExtraFlamey: Thanks so much for the feedback! I totally get that, there is something inherently charming about S4 fics. I think it's because we always want to see how any given author approaches the mystery of what happened. Who doesn't love a good mystery after all? I'm almost happy that the shows writers didn't include this stuff; this way everyone can present their own take on what happened, and who's to say what's right? "More please" you say? You wish it, I dish it; I think we're clear on that.

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: This is a tiny bit edited from the version I have on ff. You know how it is, you read something you wrote a while ago and you're like, that's...not what I wanted to say... Anyhows, hope you like!

Chapter3--Dreams

Willow woke with a start. The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was the bright, smiling face of an extremely happy slayer about eight inches from her own.

"Good morning sunshine, the day says hello!" chirped Buffy.

Willow rolled her head over and groaned into her pillow. Ever since she started dating Riley, Buffy had been in an unwavering good mood. While the witch was happy for her friend, she was less than happy about her own lack of sleep because of it. Buffy had been keeping Willow up late at night and waking her up early in the morning to maximize the amount of time she could spend talking about Riley.

"Buff," began the redhead, "you know I love you, and I'm really glad that you've got your shiny new boyfriend and all. But seriously, it's eight o' clock and it's Saturday."

"Oh come on Will," pleaded Buffy, "it's a beautiful day! The sun is shining, birds are chirping, trees are…tree-ing? What exactly is it that trees do ya think?"

"Uch, five more minutes crazy Buffy?" said Willow stuffing her head deeper into her pillow.

"No way!" said Buffy definitively. "Besides, what does sleep have that this beautiful day and I don't?" she demanded.

"Mmmm, it has good dreams," said Willow, smiling euphorically. She was trying hard to remember exactly what it was that she was dreaming about but she couldn't quite place it. The only thing she was sure about was that the dream was making her very happy.

"Dreams? Ooh tell me more please." Buffy said suggestively.

"It wasn't one of those kinds of dreams gutterface, just a good one." Willow said defensively. Although a slight residual tingling between her legs suggested to her that her assertion may not have been entirely truthful.

"Well any idea what it was about?" Buffy asked. Because of her own experiences with prophetic dreams, the slayer was always very interested in other people's dreams and what they might mean.

"Um, no, not much actually." Willow responded quickly. This wasn't entirely true however; some of her dream had begun to come back to her. While some things were still blurry as dreams so often are, one specific aspect of the dream stood out in Willow's memory.

Tara.

Willow had been thinking about the other witch a lot recently. She had initially attributed this to the excitement of a new friendship or a desire to practice more magic, but recently she wasn't so sure that that was all there was to it. She had seriously been trying not to admit to herself that it was true but unwarranted thoughts and dreams like the one she had just had were forcing her to accept that, whether or not she meant to, she had feelings for Tara.

Willow hadn't meant to fall for Tara. In fact, after Oz betrayed her, Willow had made a point of not looking for a relationship, seeing as she wasn't prepared to trust anyone anytime soon following that experience. Of course, she never expected that there would be a danger of creating a relationship with Tara.

Willow didn't know how to view herself in light of these recent revelations. Was she now officially gay because she had fallen for one girl? Maybe she was bisexual since she didn't exactly find guys repulsive. The witch began to worry that her head may explode from all the confusion, when she had another revelation. Labels are stupid. It didn't really matter what anybody called her, all that mattered was that she had feelings for another woman and, as of that moment, she intended to pursue those feelings.

"I'm gonna do it!" She blurted out, momentarily forgetting that Buffy was still sitting at the foot of her bed.

"Good for you Will! And what exactly would that be?" asked the confused slayer.

"Wha—oh, I'm, um, going to actually floss this morning," explained the wicca. "Dental hygiene, you know how it is…" She stood up to leave, grabbing her toiletry bag on the way out.

"Good luck with that," Buffy called after her. "I believe in you!"

Yay another one.

I just have the feeling I have read this story somewhere else. I don't know why. I'm sooo trying to think where, but I can't put it down. OR maybe I had a dream about it >.< I don't know.

Anyway, More please


Tay

I've always like season 4 filler fics And I'm really enjoying yours. I loved this last chapter. Buffy I always liked Buffy's random input on things in the show and I don't think a lot of fics actually show just how funny she actually was. Although maybe I'm one of the only people to find her funny on the show. Hm anyways I can't wait for more

I'm such a Willow super fan and I really enjoy the way you write her, especially the mind babble and then randomly blurting out her intentions. Nice cover with the flossing, by the way.

Still loving it the second time around!

_________________
Shelby - Racing The Rain (IN PROGRESS) / Baby Makes Three (IN PROGRESS) / The Santa Line / Everything She Does...Is Beautiful / Calfornia Grass

"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are

taysla: You probably read it over on the actual fanfiction site where it is posted in its entirety although you may not recognize it since it was just called "The Line" there for a while and I was just "royo14". Either that or you have a psychic connection to my creative process which would be, ya know, awesome. Either way I'm glad you're enjoying!

ANS: Aww, thanks so much! I agree, Buffy is pretty underratedly hilarious but I think that's because her funnyness tends to be overshadowed by how obnoxious she can be to her friends and all that jazz. If you want to see Buffy written impeccably and hilariously check out "Neverland" by EasierSaid. Although, seeing as you're on this website, you probably already have.

Finey_McFine: As always, very much appreciate the feedback And yeah the flossing thing felt to me like it would be in character for Willow, although it is also a slight reference to a line of Lily's on HIMYM (a la your writing of course ).

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: Italics mean thoughts or flashbacks. This chapter (sans half of it) is the first piece of fanfiction I ever wrote in my life. What inspired this whole thing for me was seeing that Willow is holding the crystal that she wouldn't take from Tara earlier and I figured there was a reason for that. Hence, writeyness. That being said this isn't my favorite chapter but I fixed it up a bit (the whole spell part is new), so we'll see...

Chapter 4--New Experiences

Willow shook her head, suppressing a smile. That didn't just happen, she thought, it couldn't have. She quickly made her way back to her dorm as the events of last night raced through her mind. After Buffy had left her alone at the Bronze, Willow had gone to visit Tara. They were going to perform some spells together using Tara's rare Doll's Eye Crystal. Crap, the crystal! Willow thought, at that moment realizing that she was still clutching it in her hand. She thought about returning it to Tara but ruled it out on the grounds of major potential awkwardness. Of course, Tara wouldn't mind that Willow had accidentally taken the crystal. In fact, earlier the previous day she had offered it as a gift. Willow realized that, had she simply accepted the gift, the events of last night may never have transpired. The intention had been to do a few spells and maybe talk for a while. In reality the spell part had sort of taken a backseat to the talking part.

"Whoah, it's almost five a.m. We've been talking all night!" exclaimed Willow with a start.

"Oh, I'm s-sorry for keeping you," said Tara shyly, "I'm sure you have m-more important things to do than…"

"No, no, I'm not saying it's a bad thing," said Willow quickly, not wanting to upset her friend. Trying to make an excuse to lead their conversation in a different direction she continued: "Actually I've been having a really great time. With you, that is."

"M-me too," said Tara smiling bashfully. Although Willow didn't know it, the other witch had also recently decided to make an effort in pursuing a romantic relationship with her. "But I mean, who wouldn't want to spend time with s-someone like you?" Tara felt herself momentarily leaving her body as she said this. She knew she wasn't very good at being forward and figured that, in order to say what she felt, she was going to have shut her brain down and leave her body on autopilot.

Willow blushed. "Someone like me?"

"Yeah, you know. Someone so s-special. So beautiful." As she said this her mind kicked back into action and unconsciously forced what Tara reasoned must have been all of the blood in her body up to her face.

Tara quickly hid behind a spellbook and, consequently, did not see the redhead's beaming smile.

"Beautiful?" repeated Willow, almost reverently.

"Well, m-maybe we should get to some of those s-spells," offered Tara quickly, desperately trying to steer their interaction toward a more comfortable and familiar venue, "since it's kinda l-late."

"Or early, in this case," Willow joked, trying to alleviate her own confusion. Of course Willow's attempt at humor, however feeble, made the other witch smile her beautiful half-smile which, rather than detracting from the noise inside Willow's head, added to it considerably. She was trying to keep a level head in light of her recently discovered feelings. But that was becoming increasingly difficult as she was still not entirely sure what it was exactly that she felt, and what she really wanted. Or rather, she was having a difficult time admitting to herself that she was, in fact, completely sure of exactly what she wanted.

Tara swallowed hard, slowly regaining her composure, and held out her arm so the purple crystal was directly between both girls. Willow reached out as well and placed her hand on top of the crystal. As soon as she touched it, it began to glow.

Willow gasped. "It's already glowing," she exclaimed, staring wide-eyed at the luminescent object sandwiched between both their hands. "But we haven't even done anything yet."

Tara nodded, her eyes also glued to the crystal by some power emanating from it. "It senses power," she explained. "M-magical power and, uh, c-connection."

"Well I guess we've got a lot of that," Willow said, causing both girls to blush slightly. "So, um, what's it gonna do? The spell, I mean. What's gonna happen?"

"Well the crystal acts like a catalyst. Like a sort of battery? So we have to complete the circuit. Um, we'll h-hold hands and hopefully the s-spell will, um, will work."

"Work how?" Willow was surprised she was cognizant enough to ask this question. She had been essentially lost right after Tara said "hold hands."

"Well, I'm not sure e-exactly what's gonna happen. I think it, um, it f-feeds off our connection somehow? Sort of strengthens our link." Tara's explanation wasn't perfect. All she had to base it off of were her grandmother's journals which were not always forthcoming with details. She was confident, however, that her lack of clarity would not deter the other witch from trying the spell. The crystal had a certain pull that she knew neither of them would be able to resist.

Willow barely listened to Tara's explanation, staring at the crystal the whole time and simply nodding when Tara finished speaking. Both girls slowly reached out a shaking hand toward the other, and the instant their fingers made contact an electric surge shot through both their bodies.

Willow's head shot back and she was immediately assaulted with a barrage of images. At first the images came so fast that she could not discern one from the next but eventually they slowed down and she could determine an obvious pattern in them.

Tara and her linking hands to move the vending machine. Tara sitting on her bed smiling beautifully. Tara and her smiling, staring into each others eyes. All of the images were of Tara and her together, happy. But more than that, Willow realized, was that she could physically feel their happiness. She could sense their near palpable connection, and it filled her with a warmth that was unlike anything she had ever felt.

Then suddenly, the slew of images stopped and she was left with one. It was an image of her. Just her. It was not her at a particular time in her life, but rather throughout her entire life. She saw herself, from a third person perspective, as she had been for the first eighteen years of her life. More importantly, she felt, more intensely than she ever had before, exactly what she had been her entire life. Alone. Not without friends or family, not even without love for some of the time. But still somehow empty, and certainly alone. And suddenly she realized that this is how she had felt without Tara. Even though she hadn't yet met the girl, she had never been whole without her.

Almost as soon as Willow came to this realization, both of the witches were snapped out of their trance. Willow looked up at Tara who seemed to be deep in thought, apparently intrigued by whatever experience she had just had. Willow then thought back on her own experience and was immediately overcome with the same empty feeling she had felt in her trance. She wondered at this. Her epiphany had been that she was empty without Tara, but Tara was there, sitting right across from her. So why did she still feel this emptiness? The second epiphany hit her like a freight train. She immediately accepted everything she thought she had felt for the blonde. She had realized that being around Tara was not the same as being with Tara, and that was what she was truly missing.

Noticing the intense expression on her friend's face, Tara touched Willow's hand and looked into her emerald-green eyes. Trying not to be distracted by the beauty of those eyes, Tara leaned close to her crush and asked, "Will, is everything alright?"

Realizing that thoughts alone were not enough to express her changing feelings, Willow tried to vocalize what she was feeling. "Yeah," she responded unconvincingly, "I mean I think so. That is to say no. I'm not really sure. 'Cause we're friends, and I'm happy about that, but I have friends, I just don't have anyone who I can…I'm babbling."

Abandoning further attempts at explanation, Willow closed the space between her and Tara, and kissed her.

As she reached her dorm, Willow tried to gather her thoughts. But since the incident, the noise in her head had died down considerably, and now the only thought occupying her mind was: Yay!

YAY another post

I knew I read it somewhere *hide my blackberry files texts* I just don't know when I did it

Okay, I do have your story on my blackberry, I hope it's okay to have it. I am not using it so say it's mine or anything okay. I just like read in the tube since it's the thing I use all day

Anyway, I love the story and I'm reading it again and again, until I get on my limit and find someone else story to read

Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter.


Tay

Heya,
Again, sweet little moments here. I particularly like the realization that Willow has that friendship with Tara isn't enough, that she needs something more. From chapter three, we get the sense that Willow is physically interested in Tara, and then here in chapter four, she sees herself as needing a stronger connection to Tara. I'm hoping to see more of Willow's perception of this physicality: for example, is it an extension of her need to be emotionally close to Tara, or does it run in parallel? We know that Willow thinks Tara is physically attractive--what about her is emotionally attractive? I expect we will, given the title--to me, at least, those sorts of questions are key in that line between friends and more than friends.


I get that you've written this already, and that overhauling it isn't really in the cards. But based on what you've said, it seems like you're open to hearing generalized feedback that could be useful later. If I'm wrong, just let me know, and I'll shut up. (I know that I have come off as--how shall I put this--extremely fucking scary in the past.) But I know that when I started writing, I didn't know these things, and I'm glad someone taught me.

First, POV. I know I'm purist, and won't change POV within a scene for any reason, so know that this is coming from a biased position. I still advise people not to switch POV unless you really gain something substantial from the change. Think of it like this: you pay a cost in reader attention any time the POV switches, so the information you get from that switch must be worth it. (I tend to be a careful reader, and a chapter with constant POV jumps makes me feel the literary equivalent of dizzy. So again, biased.)

Take this jump to Buffy's POV from chapter 3:


Even if that is why Buffy's asking, it doesn't actually help your story. All you need for the story is Buffy's question--it doesn't matter if she's being a nosy roommate or a curious slayer. All you need is the segue into Willow pulling at the threads of her dream. If you want to put in the bit about the prophetic dream, you can even put it in from Willow's POV: that Buffy always drilled her about dreams, just in case they had prophetic meaning, or some such. By switching to Buffy's POV, you pay the cost of the jump (and again to go back to Willow), but haven't gained anything that benefits your story.

Since chapter four is mostly set up as a flashback, it doesn't make a lot of sense for Willow to remember things that she doesn't know (e.g. that Tara is interested in pursuing a romantic relationship). But you can convey that Tara is shyly interested just through what Willow sees. It certainly would bolster Willow's position of "just kissing the girl" if she's cuing in to signals that Tara likes her.


Attributions of speech: When two people are talking, you don't need to attribute every line of dialogue. Some of them, sure, but not all. It prompts you to use myriad synonymous for "said," or to use adjectives to spice up each attribution. Particularly for a simple back and forth exchange, like the one you have in chapter three with Willow and Buffy, it can feel a lot cleaner to cut everything but the dialogue itself. Of course, sometimes the tone of something really matters, so you want to make sure to include it then. But if you were to cut most, if not all, of the descriptions of speech from chapter three, you'd still have a conversation between a happy and annoyingly awake Buffy with a slowly waking up--both literally and figuratively--Willow. I may be wordy as shit, but I do still think about economy of words.

Repetition of basic words: Writers worry a lot about repeating words, but keep in mind that some words just fall into the background when you read--things like "said" and names. If you want proof, try opening a published book to some dialogue--I tried it with one of the Harry Potter books. If Harry, Ron, and Hermione are having a conversation, the word "said" can appear a dozen times on a page. (With three people, you actually do have to attribute each line of speech, of course.) And notice the repetition of names: it isn't "scoffed the girl" and "whimpered the redhead" and "defiantly declared the scar-foreheaded-boy." Just "said Hermione," "said Ron," and "said Harry." The names appear over and over, and you don't even notice while you're reading. They do their job, telling you who said what, but without feeling dry or repetitious. So why refer to Buffy as "the slayer" or Willow as "the redhead," particularly if those characteristics have nothing to do with the scene you're writing? It's super-common in fan-fiction, but it doesn't have to be.


Now, most of my favorite authors here on PENS do some, if not all, of the stuff I just told you not to do. It's completely possible to have a compelling story that isn't written to the technical specs that I personally like. You said you read Neverland, which doesn't follow anything I just told you. But a story is easier to enjoy when it is well written, not just well told. So I learn about Willow and Tara through fan-fiction, but I learn about writing by reading books. (Seriously, editors are amazing. Fucking gods among men. Like Anton Strout.)


ETA: I'm supposed to be writing more sex, but it's hard, dammit. So I wrote this instead. I hope you don't mind the extremely long and only-sorta-relevant post.

_________________
More of a dog person, myself.
I'm from Iowa, we drive four hours for a high school football game.
Queen of Hearts • The Sincerest Form of Flattery • Drabbles

Hello there gentle readers! You may have noticed that I have become somewhat lax (read lazy) in regards to posting over the last few weeks. Alternatively, you may not have noticed that, or you may just not care very much. I promise I have a good excuse for it I just....haven't thought of it yet... Anyhoo I hope to get back into a system now. And if I neglect it, I promise to flog and punish. And then post. Feedback-back then updates in the downward direction.

Taysla: So very honored that I'm blackberry worthy. Or, erm, probably neglecting the past tense by now. My badness. But postage is here again! And, now that it's summer, I'm thinking here to stay. Hope you're not so bored of the story that you don't check out the new(ish) updates.

BeMyDeputy: Wowza, that's some feedback ya got there! I'm gonna try my best to do it justice. In terms of emotional versus physical connection, I think I must touch on that in later chapters since this story never gets *erhem* fully physical. In fact, I think the emotional relationship is really the most beautiful and relevant part of Willow and Tara's connection. Considering the metaphorical nature of their relationship for a large portion of the show, the emotional connection had to be built more than anything. That's actually what drew me to the couple in the first place. I know I try to build the theme in later chapters and can only hope I do it justice there.
Not scary, just--er--passionate But not to worry your feedback was not only welcome but appreciated.

Your point about POV completely changed the way I read. Honestly, since reading that I have not looked at a single piece of literature or fanfiction in the same way. My problem is that it never even occurred to me third person omniscient voice was still technically from a specific character's point of view. But, as you advised, I opened up Goblet of Fire to a random page and just started reading. I was totally shocked. The story is so obviously from Harry's perspective even though it is third person. When someone else besides him does something, their thought process is understood not outright stated. Granted J.K. is a master of the craft, but now I completely understand your point. What's interesting is that, in another fic I'm in the process of writing (not W/T so it's over on ff) I did adhere to POV fairly well without even thinking about it. I think it may be because the characters of Willow and Tara (and even Buffy) are so well developed and intricate that I feel compelled to analyze how they would each react to any given situation.

I understand your point about attribution of speech. There are times when I don't attribute dialogue and does run smoothly but to me it also seems like it's running too quickly. I almost always qualify the attribution in some way which I understand is tedious as a reader. my problem is that, as a writer, I haven't quite gotten to the point where I know how to eliminate these qualifications while still getting my point across.

When you mentioned repetition of words I nearly smacked myself. Earlier this year I read William Zinsser's On Writing Well (an interesting book if you haven't read it) and he made the exact same point about the reader's eye skipping over certain words. As soon as I read that, I realized how true it was. I resolved not to be bothered by an over-usage of the word "said." Unfortunately, that didn't stick. For whatever reason, when I wrote this, I didn't really think about what it would be like to read (in retrospect not too much fun) I was more just trying to get my ideas onto paper. Er, cyber...paper. Also, I was so disappointed in myself when you mentioned the note about referring to characters by traits that are irrelevant in that particular instance. I know it bothers me when I read fan fiction where authors constantly refer to Tara exclusively as "the blonde" and Willow exclusively as "the redhead." And when they add in bits about the girls' eyes that add nothing to the narrative flow. But I guess I've read so much of the stuff that it just seeped into my creative process by osmosis. I'll have to do something about that in the future.

Again though, this is already written and, while I am making edits, it think a total nitpicky overhaul is more than I can handle right now. I hope it doesn't make the story too difficult to read. For future reference though, your feedback has been beyond helpful. Thanks bunches!

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: So, usually not big on straight up quoting the show, but I thought that this scene kinda called for it since it has a totally different meaning in the context of "Family" and of my story. Hence the quoting. Hope y'all don't mind.

Chapter 5--Complications

The next time Willow saw Tara, she didn't know what to expect. They hadn't spoken, other than to agree on a time to meet and she was worried that it would be very tense or awkward between them. Preparing for the worst, Willow took a deep breath and knocked on Tara's door.

"Howdy," she said, exhaling.

Upon seeing the other witch, Tara beamed, easing the redhead's anxiety somewhat and allowing her to relax. "I just got your message a minute ago, I was in class," began Tara apologetically, "but I was about to call you." She said this last part with enthusiasm and a bit of a bounce.

Willow had never seen Tara so excited. Her worries that she may have embarrassed the blonde by kissing her washed away immediately and she smiled. "I had so much fun the other night, those spells…" she said. The statement was general but Tara understood what Willow was insinuating, so she went along with it.

"Yeah, that was nice," she agreed also touching on what they were both thinking, but neither was willing to openly discuss quite yet.

Willow, however, did not realize that Tara was also referring to their kiss and suddenly became worried. "I hope you don't think that I just…come over for the spells and everything," she pleaded, "I mean, I really like just talking, and hanging out with you, and stuff…"

Tara responded with the signature half-smile that, lately, had the power to make Willow melt. "I know that," she said comfortingly. "But you wanna do a spell," she added knowingly.

"Yeah," Willow admitted. Tara giggled. Willow was doing her adorable I-feel-really-bad-please-don't-hate-me voice, and she could never resist that. "But only because it's really important. There this-"

"No, you don't have to explain, I don't mind, really," Tara said before Willow could continue. It touched her that the witch worried so deeply about taking advantage of her; she wanted to assure Willow that she did not feel neglected in any way. She then added: "I've been, um, thinking about that last spell we did all day."

Willow smiled. This time, she was sure Tara was using the word 'spell' euphemistically. "You have?" she asked, almost surprised. Tara smiled and nodded. Willow knew exactly how much their kiss had meant to her, but she had no idea how Tara had felt about it. This reaction was Willow's first clue that her feelings were really being reciprocated.

Trying not to get distracted, Willow returned to the subject at hand. "Well this one should be really fun too," she said. "We conjure the goddess Thespia to help us locate demonic energy in the area." Willow's excitement at the idea of performing such a powerful spell was obvious. "Shouldn't be too tricky," she added.

Tara's heart sank. Demonic energy? She thought, that would include me… Oh god, I can't let her know, not like this.

"The goddess Thespia?" asked Tara, in an attempt to dissuade the eager redhead, "Are you sure we're ready for that?"

"You and me? This is beneath us!"

Tara hesitated. While she didn't want to give her true self away, she was also flattered that the redhead had so much faith in their combined magical abilities. Seeing no other way out, she relented.

"Okay, if you say so," she said, feigning a smile.



Once they had the entire spell set up, Tara was becoming genuinely interested in what the spell entailed.

"So the square is Sunnydale?" she asked, referring to a square of yarn lying before them, set up with a different crystal at each of the four corners.

"Right," responded Willow her excitement becoming more obvious by the second. "It's like a map. And we both take different parts of the potion, and when we do the incantation, we both blow it onto the square at the exact same time."

"But how does it work?" Tara asked. Her purpose in asking this question was dual. She was, of course, legitimately interested in understanding how the magic worked. Her primary goal, however, was to find an exploitable hole in the spell so she could stop it without Willow knowing.

"Well that's the cool part," the redhead responded, "When the potion mixes, and Thespia's called, it creates this mist over the parts where the demons are. It even makes different colors for different breeds."

"Wow," said Tara, relieved that she had found her answer. If she could prevent the potion from mixing, the spell wouldn't work.

"You ready?" Willow asked, completely unaware of what was going on in her friend's mind.

Tara hesitated for a moment before nodding. The two prepared the potion, recited the incantation, and, just as Willow blew her half of the potion over the square, Tara deposited hers under her bed taking advantage of the fact that Willow's eyes were closed.

"…with your grace may we speak of your benevolence," Willow finished. Upon opening her eyes and discovering that the spell had failed she added: "Or not…"

Tara looked at her apologetically. "I don't know what happened, sorry." Tara realized that she could take advantage of this situation and try to talk to Willow about what their kiss meant. "Willow I-"

"What happened?" said Willow, still in shock and not even realizing that Tara had spoken. "I could have sworn I—I have to check this with Giles. I-I'll catch you later Tara." Willow hurried out of the room not even bothering to look back.

Tara watched as she left the room, her heart dropping down to her stomach.

"Yeah that's...th-that's okay," she whispered quietly to herself, tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: I would apologize for lateness but I'd like to think that anyone who cares already forgives me. Regardless, here there be postage.

Chapter 6--No Regrets

Tara paced outside of room 214. This would be the first time she and Willow met without making any prior arrangements, a serious step considering Tara's own social anxieties. But she knew that this had to be done, and since Willow had not made an effort to bring it up, she had to be the one to do it. After going over in her mind exactly what it was that she wanted to say, Tara took a deep breath, raised her fist, and knocked on the door.



Willow sat up in her bed and looked at the clock. Buffy said she would be out with Riley tonight, so she couldn't imagine who might be seeking her out this late.

"Come i-" she began, but then, remembering the events with Spike a number of weeks ago, she caught herself. "Uh, just a second!" she called, rising from her bed. She walked to the door and opened it, surprised to see the blonde standing in front of her.

"H-hi," said Tara shyly, forgetting her dramatic, prepared speech as soon as she saw the redhead.

"Hi! Sorry, I-I wasn't expecting you, um, come on in," said Willow awkwardly. She had known that she and Tara would have to have a talk but her mind had been on other things and she had assumed that she would have had more time to prepare for it.

"L-listen, Willow, we h-have to talk about, um, about what happened. With-with us," managed Tara, at a loss for anything else to say.

"Yeah," said Willow quietly. "Yeah, I know, I just—I'm sorry, for bailing last time and for… I-I'm sorry…"

"Oh," said Tara, "that's okay. I d-didn't really think that-"

"No, no!" responded Willow quickly, not wanting her friend to misunderstand her. "I'm not sorry about that! That was—I mean that was fine. Er, I don't mean 'fine' I mean it was good it was really…" exhausted from the effort her brain was exerting in trying to form full sentences, Willow sat down on her bed. "Tara can we try this again?"

"Yes please," nodded the witch, taking a seat across from the frazzled redhead.

"Okay, here goes," Willow said, collecting her thoughts. "Tara, I really, really care about you. After Oz left, I was in a really dark place, emotionally. I thought the worst of almost everyone I came across, and vowed never to trust anyone again, not that I believed I'd ever have a reason to."

Tara nodded as Willow spoke. Willow had told her briefly what had happened between her and Oz, but hearing her speak about how it had affected her emotionally hurt the blonde. She couldn't bear the thought that someone had put Willow through the kind of pain she was describing.

"I was in a deep, dark hole and I thought I'd never get out," Willow continued. "But then I met you. Tara, you're such an important part of my life right now. You've managed to make me feel happy again, and that's something I never thought I'd get back. Right now, my mind is a bit of a mess but the one thing I'm sure of is that meeting you is the best thing that could have happened to me."

Tara smiled, but upon seeing Willow's expression, that smile quickly faded. "There's a 'but', isn't there?" she asked.

Willow nodded. "It's just that, I know I'm happy with you, but I don't know how far that goes yet. It's not that I regret, ya know…" Willow took a deep breath; one of them had to say it eventually, "It's not that I regret kissing you, I don't, not in the slightest. It's just that…it wasn't fair of me. I shouldn't have done anything without talking to you about it first, for one thing. And I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that."

"Willow, you weren't taking advantage of me," said Tara. "I wanted to kiss you too, I h-have for a while." She bowed her head, trying to hide her blushing face.

"But it wasn't right of me to just assume," argued Willow. "I didn't know how I felt, so I tried to make it easier on myself by turning you into an experiment!" Willow was surprised by her own words, but she didn't take them back. Somewhere in the back of her mind she wanted Tara to hate her so that her decision could be made more easily. But this part of her thought process would be disappointed.

"That's not what you did and you know it," said Tara, sensing her friend's worry and trying to alleviate it. "Willow I know what you're feeling. You're confused and that's fine. It's alright to be confused; we all are at one point or another. But don't you dare try to put yourself in the wrong here!" Both girls were momentarily taken aback by Tara's sudden change in tone. Feeling somewhat embarrassed Tara continued quietly: "Y-you should take some time to f-figure this out. In the meantime w-we can just f-forget it ever happened and-"

"What?" Willow exclaimed, her eyes widening in horror. "No! I don't want to forget it. You're right, I have to take time to figure myself out, but I don't want to forget it!"

Tara looked up and the two shared a smile.

"I'm here for you Willow," said Tara. "No matter what. You know that right?

Willow smiled. "I do."

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: Another post because it's short and why the hell not.

Chapter 7--Yours

Willow kept replaying the scene in her mind.



"…I just like having something that's, ya know, mine," she said shyly. "And I usually don't use so many words to say stuff this little but, do you get it all?" It had taken a while but Willow had made up her mind. She wanted Tara. She wanted to be around her all of the time, she wanted to make her laugh, and she wanted to tell her just what she meant to her. This was exactly what had spawned her babblefest, but she couldn't quite get the words out the way she wanted to.

Tara nodded in understanding. "I do."

They spent a moment looking into each other's eyes, each trying to read exactly what the other was feeling. Before their shared gaze became too intense, Willow decided to take her leave. "I should go check with Giles," she said, "get a situation update." She stood to leave.

Tara remained facing the same direction. She opened her mouth but didn't quite manage to speak. She took a deep breath and tried again.

"I am, you know."

Willow turned to face Tara's back. "What?" she asked confused.

Tara turned her head; her soft, blonde hair gently swaying with the motion, her eyes filled with emotion. "Yours," she admitted.

Willow smiled. Tara had said exactly what she needed to hear.



Mine, thought Willow. She said she's mine.

Willow stopped dead. Tara had just opened up her heart to her and what had she done? She left her to go be with her own friends, barely acknowledging the admission of love Tara had made. God I am such a jerk, she thought. Immediately she turned straight around and headed for Tara's room. Upon reaching Tara's room, Willow did not even bother to knock, instead flinging open the door with unintended bravado.

The sound of the door startled Tara who immediately stood up and spun around to see the redhead walking toward her at full speed. Tara was unsure of exactly what to say or do, so she was momentarily frozen. Willow alleviated her confusion when she reached out her hand to place it on the back of Tara's head, and pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss.

During their kiss, Willow felt everything she had been afraid to feel. She felt exactly how much she cared about Tara, she felt how much she wanted, no, needed to be with the blonde. All of the residual feelings of both love and sadness she had surrounding the events with Oz melted away like butter in that moment, and Willow began to fear that she was going to melt as well.

They pulled apart from their kiss, hearts pounding and breathing heavily. They stared into each other's eyes for what could just as easily have been hours as seconds. Finally Tara broke the silence.

"Hi," she said never looking away from the deep green eyes staring into her own.

"Uh-huh," said Willow, her brain not able to keep pace with events as they were occurring.

They continued to stare at one another, not a word passing between them for what felt like minutes. Suddenly, Tara was overcome with an awful urge. She could feel it building up inside her and begged herself not to succumb to it. But before she knew it was happening, the blonde burst into laughter.

At first, Willow was so taken aback by this response that she didn't know how to react. For a split second afterwards, she thought that Tara was laughing at her, and she felt the urge to curl up into a corner and cry. Quickly, however, she noticed that Tara's wasn't a laugh of derision or mocking; it was one of pure happiness. Realizing this, Willow also began laughing and pulled the other witch into an embrace. They stood that way for a while, hugging and laughing, neither having the ability or the will to stop. Eventually, they had to stop laughing for the simple reason that it would hurt too much to continue.

Tara pulled away slightly from Willow, keeping her face inches away from her friend's, and her arms wrapped tightly around her waist. They both smiled.

"Miss Maclay," Willow began, "would you care to join me for coffee tonight?"

Tara smiled, still not willing to break eye contact. "Of course," she replied.

"Good," said Willow, still smiling. Suddenly, realizing she could kill two vamps with one stake, she added: "We should go to the Bronze! It's not exactly the best place for coffee, but we'll probably run into my friends there. I really want you to meet them."

Tara blushed. "That sounds great, I really am excited to meet them." Strangely, Tara hadn't felt the need to stutter at all in that sentence. "So where is this 'Bronze?'" she asked.

Willow's mouth dropped. "You're kidding right?"

Truly amazing. It is quite lkiterally like we're watching them through a dorm-room monitor the whole time - err, that's just a simile, really, not anything I've ever heard of :-). There's just this flow like that of a real, if frequently interrupted, conversation.

_________________
Snapshots:http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story
____________________________________________________________
Kim: (breaks off the kissing) I l... (Sue stops her with a hand)
Sue: We don't talk about things like that right after, you know that, no saying those things in The Moment.
Kim: (moves the hand aside) Screw The Moment. I *love* you.

DaddyCatALSO: Yeah I was noticing when I was re-editing the last few chapters that I keep interrupting the dialogue for explanations and stuff. It was really bothering me but I couldn't quite figure out how to fix it. I'm glad you're enjoying anyway though I hope it doesn't get in the way too much. Again I wrote this a while ago and I was nowhere near even starting to polish my writing style. So hopefully when I get back to writing it won't be nearly as annoying as this.

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: This chapter has little actual content, but I had fun writing it so it continues to exist.

Chapter 8--Worries

Willow opened her eyes. She was breathing heavily, her mind reeling from what had just happened, and her body tingling sensationally. She rolled her head to the side and saw Tara sitting across from her, also out of breath. Willow slowly sat up and the two stared into the each other's eyes, neither knowing exactly how to begin.

"That was—um…" Willow stated. "That was…wow…"

"Yeah," agreed Tara. "D-definitely...wow."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both contemplating the quasi-sexual experience they had just shared. They had known going in that the magic was powerful but they did not quite know how that power would manifest itself. Or that it would be quite so…stimulating.

"Well um," said Tara attempting to break the silence. "Well, did we do it?"

"What?" Willow said quickly, the blonde's voice snapping her to reality. Everything that had just happened gave Willow so much to process, she feared her brain might just up and quit.

"I-I mean did you do it?" said Tara, realizing in retrospect she had not picked an ideal phrasing for her question. "Did you find Buffy?"

"Oh. Oh, right!" said Willow remembering why they had done the spell in the first place. "Um, yeah she was—well she was Faith."

"Faith?" asked Tara. "You m-mean evil psycho killer Faith?"

"Yeah," said Willow, the weight of the issue only now dawning on her. "So does that mean…"

"They must have switched bodies," Tara finished. The older wicca suddenly became very worried. Not only was there a psychotic Slayer on the loose, but she had been at the Bronze with them. She was talking to them, baiting Tara. She could have hurt Willow! Tara thought, suddenly becoming furious.

"We have to switch them back," She said suddenly. She couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to the girl sitting across from her. It did not even occur to her that she herself had also been in danger earlier that night.

"How can we?" Willow asked hopelessly. "We don't even know where Buffy…I mean Faith…I mean Buffy as Faith…"

"That's n-not important right now! Until we find her, the least we can do is figure out how to switch them back and prepare for when we do know where she is."

"Right," said Willow absently, still only barely thinking straight.

Noticing her friend's lack of focus Tara drew closer to her. "Will, are you alright?" she asked, her anger at Faith giving way to a more immediate concern for her red haired goddess.

"What? Oh, yeah I-I'm fine, it's just…" Willow paused trying to look for exactly the right words to express what she was feeling. "Tara, I know that the situation is, maybe kinda dire. And I know that I should be freaking out whether Buffy's okay and whatever. But I'm really just so happy right now. Is that bad?"

Tara looked at her for a moment and then smiled sweetly and shook her head. "It's not bad Will. It's actually, um, it's really s-sweet of you."

Willow smiled, happy that her confession had been well received. She quickly leaned over and kissed Tara fully on the lips. They pulled apart and smiled at one another, no longer feeling any awkwardness about their situation.

As much as it pained her though, Tara realized they couldn't get distracted. "W-willow, it's good that we're happy," she said, trying very hard not to abandon the thought midsentence and simply resume kissing the redhead, "but Buffy n-needs our help right now. But we should, um, we should talk about this later."

Willow nodded. "So, what say we get some good ol' fashioned mojo goin'?" she said, trying to focus herself using humor as she often did. "Where do we start?"

"Well, there are only a few methods of spiritual transference," Tara explained. "And fewer still if the switch is meant to be permanent. I think we can assume Faith doesn't mean to switch back." Tara silently hoped that Willow wouldn't ask why she knew so much about the subject. The truth was that she had once hoped that if she switched her body, she could escape both her father and her inevitable demonic transformation. She had studied much on the topic but had ultimately never been able to bring herself to actually perform a switch.

"Okay," said Willow, not in the least surprised by the witch's expertise, "so how do we narrow down which spell will put them back?"

A thought occurred to Tara. "When you saw her—Buffy I mean—how were they connected?"

"What do you mean?"

"Each of the spells results in a unique kind of connection between the body and spirit," She explained. "Did Buffy's spirit appear to be tied to Faith's body, or-or glued to it in some way?"

Willow shook her head. "Neither," she said, thinking. "It was like it was crammed inside of her. Like someone shoved an ethereal Buffy down Faith's throat." Willow realized that her description made more sense in her head, but hoped that it would be enough information for Tara.

"A Draconian katra," the blonde stated. "It's fairly easy to conjure, but they'll have to be touching for it to work."

"Well, like you said, we should focus on the conjuring first," said Willow, deciding to push everything she wanted to say to Tara toward the back of her mind until after this ordeal was through. "Just tell me what to do."

Tara smiled. "I think I actually have all the ingredients in the room, it's a pretty standard conjuring. Can you grab the liquefied murtag root from the shelf there?"

"Liquefied what-what?" asked Willow, confused. She was still getting used to all the weird names for potion ingredients and could only recognize a few things by sight.

"The purple-y stuff," Tara clarified.

"Gotcha," Willow said smiling. She stood and made her way over to the shelf. When she brought it down, the lid came off and some spilled on her shirt. As soon as liquid seeped through both layers she had on and touched her skin, she felt sick to her stomach. "Oh no. Oh god no, no!" she screamed.

"Willow, are you okay?" Tara said immediately sprinting to aid her friend. "Will, sweetie, what's wrong?"

Willow looked up at her, green eyes filled with horror. "This is Buffy's top…"

Yay Wil, always thinking about her friends' needs!

Seriously, I really (given that I'm a "backstory nut") felt the logic when you made studying this kind of spell part of Tara's specific background, the reasons why she studied it, and the reasons why she didn't try it. Absolutely believeable.

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Snapshots:http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story
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Kim: (breaks off the kissing) I l... (Sue stops her with a hand)
Sue: We don't talk about things like that right after, you know that, no saying those things in The Moment.
Kim: (moves the hand aside) Screw The Moment. I *love* you.

DaddyCatALSO: I can't thank you enough for your support here. I was actually kinda worried about that portion of the story so it means a lot that you think it was believable. Thanks muchly! story's winding down, hope you enjoy the rest!

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: Lot of goodness in this weekend including my joining the large masses on the twitters as well as the birth of my brand new baby niece. It all put me in really good spirits so here comes postage! This chapter takes place right after Where the Wild Things Are and right before New Moon Rising. The good stuff is coming up!

Chapter 9--True Feelings

The two girls sat on Willow's bed. Despite the day's ordeal, Buffy had opted to spend the night at Riley's; allowing for a rare moment in which Willow and Tara could be alone in Willow's dorm. Neither knew exactly how to begin their conversation. Willow fidgeted awkwardly with the sheets, searching for the words that would express her feelings at the moment. But none would come. Finally, Tara decided to speak up.

"So, um, I-I know it's a cliché and all," she began, "but I think we, uh, we should have, you know...The Talk."

"Yeah," Willow said, relieved that Tara had begun the conversation. "Yes we—we definitely should."

After a few more minutes of sitting in total silence, Tara abandoned any hope of not sounding corny and simply said: "So, um, w-where is our relationship, you know, going?" The words made her cringe even as she said them. She knew she sounded like an idiot and was confident Willow was silently laughing at her.

In reality, Willow was just happy that one of them had said anything at all. She was worried that she may never actually be able to think of something to say. Now that Tara had established a theme, however, she was able to build off of it. "Well, I mean I like you," she stated shyly. "I like you a lot actually. Well I mean obviously I like you a lot, I've been going around kissing you for like a week. Although I suppose I wouldn't have to like you to be doing that, I mean I could just be using you, ya know. Oh, no, but I-I'm not using you that would be awful Tara I would never, ever do that. I'm so sorry for even mentioning that, you probably think I'm using you now and—"

"Willow," Tara interrupted, "sweetie, I don't think that. What I do think is that you're maybe a little nervous."

"Yuh-huh," nodded Willow. "And, see, when you called me 'sweetie' just now, my tummy got all fluttery. So that's gotta mean something."

Tara smiled. She loved the way Willow spoke. She loved the way she laughed. She loved everything about this girl. She had never known that she was even capable of feeling something this intense for somebody. But here she was. Red-haired, pale-skinned, and more beautiful than anyone she had ever met in her life. But in the pit of her stomach something was gnawing. As happy as she was being in the presence of the girl, Tara worried that she wasn't truly what Willow wanted. What she truly wanted had cheated on her and left without warning. Tara wanted to freeze the moment she was in right now. She wanted to remember how happy she was just being with Willow, and how she felt that there was almost a chance that Willow would reciprocate. She wanted time to stop so there was no chance that the man who truly owned the key to Willow's heart could ever return and steal it. But the gnawing could not be ignored.

"Tara, I know we haven't been friends for very long," Willow resumed, after briefly collecting her thoughts and courage. "And I know that I haven't expressed feelings for you for very long either. But the thing is, they're there. They're there and they're powerful. More powerful than anything I've felt before, I think. And it's not just the magic. It's you. It's--It's us. There's something between us and... I know I feel it and I hope you do too. And I just--I really hope this doesn't freak you out that I'm saying all this, but it's true. Even though we haven't, ya know, known each other for very long, I-I feel like we've shared this connection for, well forever? At the risk of sounding like a crazy person I'm gonna stop myself and ask you, do you get any of what I'm saying?" She looked at Tara pleadingly.

"All of it," Tara confirmed, her eyes filled with affection.

"Then I think you probably know how I feel about you," Willow said hesitantly.

Be careful Rosenberg, thought Tara, you might just say exactly what I want to hear.

Willow rounded up every last ounce of nerve she had in her, breathed deeply and spoke. "Tara, I… I think I may be falling in love with you."

She said it. She had finally said it and time had stopped. Immediately, for both of the witches, an entirely new world had opened up. Willow would never have been able to face these feelings on her own. Tara had given her the strength. She knew that simply being near Tara made her feel better about herself and everything around her. She never would have thought she would be able to confess her love—truthfully—to a near stranger, especially when that stranger was another woman. But Tara simply brought that out in her. The more she thought about what she had just said, the more she realized exactly how much she meant it.

Tara was forced to play and replay the words in her mind. The gnawing in her gut had turned into a nibbling and was now gone altogether. She felt simply elated. The blonde had never been so happy, she felt as though she was floating on air. After observing an incredulous and amused expression on Willow's face, she realized that she was, in fact, hovering about an inch off the bed. She slowly lowered herself back down.

"Sorry," she said, still smiling enormously. "I g-guess that happens when a beautiful girl says she l-loves me." Tara smiled and Willow began to giggle. Her giggle turned into laughter. In minutes, the two were laughing hysterically about nothing in particular. Eventually, exhausted and out of breath, they both laid down across the bed facing one another.

Willow reached out a hand to tuck away a lock of pale, gold hair that had fallen over Tara's face. Tara grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. She then stretched her neck to look at the clock.

"It's late," she said. "D-do you want me to leave?"

Willow looked at her and smiled. "Please don't," she said. "Just stay with me."

Tara returned her smile. The two spent the next hour staring into each other's eyes, not a single word passing between them the entire time. Willow was the first to drift off into sleep. Tara soon followed but not before giving the sleeping girl a light kiss on the forehead and whispering: "I really am yours."

Aw. Now that was really sweet. I love the touch about Tara hovering above the bed without really realizing she was doing it.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Hi J.J.!

I think this is my favorite chapter in this story and you did a really great job with it. There is so much speculation surrounding when they actually said the 'I Love You's' and first had sex, etc. but I don't think I've ever read any S4 fic that had Willow actually saying it before New Moon Rising. Most have Tara saying it first and Willow not, so I'm glad you did because it's important and it's what she's feeling.

Anyway, great chapter! Still loving the re-read.

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Shelby - Racing The Rain (IN PROGRESS) / Baby Makes Three (IN PROGRESS) / The Santa Line / Everything She Does...Is Beautiful / Calfornia Grass

"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are

JustSkipIt: Thanks much I've always loved spontaneous floatiness. Magic adds a whole new dimension to this relationship which is I think one of the things that makes it so attractive to people and so...awesome.

Finey_McFine: Thanks very much for the sentiment, That chapter happens to be my favorite as well although I think this one hits a close second. Yeah, I think I have a pretty backwards view of their relationship but the way I see their personalities I feel like It would definitely Willow to say 'I Love You' and putting it before 'New Moon Rising' gives the whole thing a little extra element of drama. And, of course, I don't believe they had sex until some time after 'New Moon'.

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: This last chapter is split into two parts. I'll post the other part at some point during this week.

Chapter 10--Choices pt I

Tara awoke the next morning. She remembered a dream she had had the previous night and smiled. Suddenly, she realized that she was not in her own bed. The previous night had not been a dream, it really happened! Tara practically burst with happiness. Slowly, the girl next to her woke up as well.

The redhead smiled. Seeing Tara's face first thing in the morning was definitely something she could get used to. "Morning," she said sleepily.

"Morning sleepyhead," said Tara with her signature half smile. "Did you sleep well?"

"How could I not?" Willow asked teasingly. Incessantly flirting with Tara. She thought. Also something I could get used to.

Tara could not stop herself from smiling. It happened. She had finally slept with the girl of her dreams. Well, not 'slept with' except in the most literal sense of the phrase. But somehow that made it even more special for Tara. She had never been intimate with anyone before, male or female, and she wasn't sure she was ready just yet. Willow, being new to the experience entirely was certainly not ready for physical intimacy and, although neither of them said anything, each knew how the other felt. For now, this sort of thing was exactly what the both of them needed.

Willow was about to ask Tara what she wanted to do for breakfast when the phone rang. She reached over to grab it. "Hello?" "An hour?" "Uh, yeah I guess I can do that. At Giles'?" "O-okay I'll be there in a bit." She hung up the phone and turned to Tara. "Scooby meeting," she said apologetically. "I-I'm really sorry, I'd stay if I could I just—"

"Willow, it's alright, I-I understand." Admittedly, Tara had been looking forward to spending the morning with Willow. Hell, she had been looking forward to spending every waking moment of the rest of her life with Willow, but reality had to hit eventually. Tara knew she would always be on the outside looking in. A sacrifice she was willing to make if it meant she could spend as much time with the girl lying next to her as possible.

"I know you do, I just still feel bad that—" Willow paused. She smacked herself on the forehead. "Oh, DUH! Tara, come to the Scooby meeting with me!"

Tara's heart leaped back into her chest. "A-are you sure?" she asked hesitantly.

"Of course I'm sure," Willow said excitedly. "Before, I was so intent on keeping the two parts of my life—you and the Scoobies—completely separate. But I don't know why I would ever want that. I want the most important person in my life to be a part of the most important thing in my life." She smiled and stroked Tara's cheek as she said this. She couldn't help thinking that she should be worried about sounding too presumptuous in saying these things to Tara, but she simply didn't care. Everything she said was true and she wanted Tara to know it.

"I-I'd love to come," she said, not in the least phased by Willow's words. "If you th-think it'd be okay with your friends I mean…"

"Of course it will be!" Willow exclaimed. "And you shouldn't refer to them as 'my friends' anymore. They're as much your friends as mine. You're a part of the family now." The two smiled, gazing into each other's eyes as they had begun to do so often. They drew closer and entered into a series of soft but emotionally passionate kisses. Tara pulled back for a moment.

"We sh-should probably get going, Will," said Tara, hating herself for saying the words.

"But…kisses…" said Willow with a pout.

Tara smiled. She pulled Willow's protruding lower lip into her mouth and quickly relinquished it. "We'll pick it up later sweetie," she said with a sly smile and a bold wink. She got up and left the room to prepare for the day.

Willow fell back onto her pillow and exhaled softly. "Wow."



Later never came.

Tara had been very much looking forward to the rest of that day. She knew it would hold something special. She had practically been on cloud nine, and there was almost nothing that could bring her down. Almost. Obviously, as fate would have it, the one thing that could mess everything up for her had stood in the doorway earlier the previous day.

Tara was distraught. The conflicting emotions she felt were nearly enough to drive her insane. She loved Willow so very much, and that meant that nothing was more important to her than Willow's happiness. Tara was never one to look out for her own feelings, always putting others before herself. She had been taught from a young age that she didn't matter. What others had to say was far more important than whatever she was thinking. And so she wanted to put Willow's happiness before her own.

At the same time though, Willow had shown Tara something new about herself. Tara now knew that she was special, and that she did matter. Willow was the only person who had ever made her feel like she was important, and now that support was making things more complicated than they already were. She wanted to be happy for Willow, she truly did, but she couldn't help feeling resentment towards Oz for stealing her happiness almost as soon as she had found it.

That's not fair Tara. It's not his fault and you know it. It's your own fault for letting yourself get attached. If you hadn't let this girl into your life you wouldn't have been happy for yourself, and wouldn't be taking pity on yourself now. Whenever Tara had a particularly self-deprecating stream of thought, it was always in her Father's disapproving voice.

I am happy for her. She was never meant to be with me, I see that now. And as long as she's happy, a little part of me can be happy too. Tara had finally accepted reality. Willow never wanted to be with her. She was the rebound girl, or something, it didn't matter now. She had to let Willow know that everything was okay and that she was happy for her.

She walked over to Willow's dorm, ready to have the conversation she was dreading. When the door opened, she received an arrow through the heart. For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, Oz had managed to cause her pain simply by standing in a doorway. Her brain shut down. She knew he had said something and that she had responded something in return, but for the life of her she did not know what words had passed between them. She ran from the dorm trying as hard as she could to keep from crying.

Oh poor Tara.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

See, this is really good, like on a number of levels, y'know?
it's well written and interesting, with good characterization (a must!)

but i also like watching an author's take on the behind the scenes stuff.

and another thing i like about the 'what happened between scenes' genre is that we know the destination, but we do not know the road they took to get there. which means i can survive fairly heavy angst, because in KNOW it's going to be ok, even moreso than the typical kitten story.

so, i'm loving this, keep up the good work JJ!

R

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“All I feel is sunlight. All I hear is music.” Willow
How i Met Your Mother - By Ariel

My Story: Coming Home

JustSkipIt: "Poor Tara" is a very commonly used expression on the KB. Which is sad, because we love Tara. Then why do we hurt her so??? Perhaps because when we bring her down so low, it's all the more wonderful when Willow raises her back up and then some. Will that very thing happen in the final chapter posted below?!?!?

Azirahael: Aww, a very kind sentiment. I know, doesn't this genre rule? But then again all W/T genres do kick some form of ass. Like AU no hellmouth. What's that? I'm going to be posting an AU no hellmouth story in the near future? Holy shameless self promoting plug batman! But seriously though I appreciate the feedback so very much. I always forget how happy writing makes me so when I get feedback like this, I'm encouraged to go back and write so it's a constant rediscovery. Thank you

Title: Crossing the Line
Author: Royo Nobus (J.J.)
Feedback: I still consider myself a fairly new author so any helpful feedback you can offer would be very much appreciated!
Spoilers: No offense, but if anything up to the end of 'New Moon Rising' is a spoiler I think you're on the wrong site...
Rating: This story is rated G-PG throughout (sorry). It's a mix between me not really knowing how to write smut and also my belief that they actually didn't sleep together this early in the relationship.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything here belongs to those involved with the creation of the greatest show ever televised
Summary: A line is drawn between friendship and romance in every relationship, but for two young wiccas that line is beginning to blur. A S4 fill-in-the-blanks fic with the sweetest moments we never got to see.
Notes: The final chapter consists of three vignettes which take place throughout the episode 'New Moon Rising.' If you're familiar with the episode, you'll know where everything is. Some dialogue here is *ahem* 'borrowed' from the episode but only because i think it is some of the most beautiful dialogue ever written. I hope you all enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed (re)writing it.
Postnote: If I seem a little Oz-heavy here, it's because I was writing an Oz fic at the time which coincided with this so I was trying to develop the character. But I gave up on the story and reworked this one so it makes slightly more sense.

Chapter 11--Choices pt II

Willow was devastated. Tara had stopped by only to be met by Oz. She could only imagine what Tara must have thought. She turned to Oz as panic began to set in.

"Oz," she began, "look, I'm really sorry but I can't do breakfast. Not—not now I… There's just too much right now."

Oz was disappointed to say the least. He hadn't expected that Willow would agree to his suggestion of sleeping in, it had been a rather bold move, but breakfast had been her idea. He really wanted to spend time with her. But he knew better than to push. He knew that he was still in the wrong. He came back so that Willow might forgive him, might take him back, and he knew that until she made a decision he had to give her space.

He smiled softly at her, his eyes conveying nothing but compassion. "Whatever you want Will," he said. He took her hand in his, stroked the back of it with his thumb and stared deeply into her eyes. At that moment, Willow felt everything rushing back to her; all of the joy and all of the pain that Oz had brought her. He held her hand for only a fraction of a second and then left the room, closing the door behind him. Willow's mind was a blur and it was all she could do to not break down crying.

She made her way over to her bed and collapsed on it. She'd had no idea she could ever feel so helpless. Nothing made sense to her anymore and she didn't know what to do with herself. Out of the corner of her eye she saw something lying in her closet. She got up to retrieve it. It was a large stuffed dog that Oz had gotten for her on her birthday the previous year.

"I couldn't find a werewolf pez like you asked, or even a dog one for some reason, but I got you this." He said smiling. He removed his hand from behind his back, exposing the stuffed canine. "Happy birthday Will."

Willow was utterly speechless. "I-I love it," she said. She looked up at him and smiled. "Oz…what did I ever do to deserve a boyfriend as thoughtful as you?" she asked.

He laughed. "It's nothing you did Will, it's the way you are. You are the most wonderful girl—scratch that—the most amazing person, I have ever met in my life. No matter what, you bring out the best in me. I love you Will. More than anything else in my life, I love you."

Willow smiled, absolutely overcome with emotion. "I know," she said. "I know all of that."

"How's that?" he asked.

"Well, for one thing I don't think I've ever heard you use that many words in one sitting," she teased. He laughed. There was nobody like his Will. She continued. "Mostly though, I know all that 'cause I feel it too. I feel it all the time. Oz, I don't know what I'd do if I was without you."

"Well," he smiled, holding up the dog, "it doesn't matter. You'll never need to find out." He handed it to her and she held it close. "Now, I'll be there with you, even when I'm not 'there.' But I won't let you worry about being without me. I swear to you, that I will never leave you."

But he had. He left her suddenly and painfully. He broke the promise he had made to her. She clutched the stuffed animal close to her heart, as if to soothe the pain. Oz's departure had left her hollow and hurting but, as everyone had assured her they would, things had gotten better. They had gotten so much better, in fact, that she had actually managed to fall in love again—something she hadn't believed would ever be possible. Now she didn't know where she stood. She decided to take a deep breath and try to approach the situation rationally, objectively assessing her options individually.

There was Oz. Willow's first love. For a long time her only love. He was the one who had shown her what it was like to be in a relationship, the one who made her feel what it was like to love and to be loved. She could hardly disengage the two concepts—love and Oz—from one another. But he had also been the first to show her heartbreak; true emotional pain. Pain even worse than what she had felt because of Xander. Whenever she was with Oz now, she experienced the novelty of first love and the devastation of a broken heart all at once. It made her feel like she was going to explode from the sheer intensity of the emotions. He had softened her heart only to cut into deeper than she would have thought possible. He left her with a scar on her heart.

But then there was Tara. Tara, who had been the one to heal that scar. In some ways, Willow considered Tara to be her first love as well. What she shared with Oz in no way prepared her for what it was like to be in love with Tara. And she had no doubts that she truly was in love with the girl. But with Oz, love had just been emotional connection and physical attraction. With Tara on the other hand, though those factors were there as well, there was something else. Willow and Tara connected on what Willow could only describe as a spiritual level. There was only good inside the girl, and she would never hurt her.

Having assessed the pros and cons of each option, Willow had ultimately decided…nothing. She abandoned her attempt. She knew that this was a problem that could not be solved with rational thought. Only her heart knew what to do, and she was sure it was speaking to her, but she couldn't quite hear it over all the noise in her head.

Willow looked down at the dog. "What about you Mr. Puppy? Any thoughts on the matter?" She sighed. "Didn't think so…"

What she needed was somebody to talk to. She knew she couldn't go to Xander, he would probably be somewhat…thrown by the idea that his closest friend was having feelings for another woman. Giles was out of the question too. While he did have a degree of insight that she could have used in this situation, none of the Scoobies had ever felt quite comfortable asking him for relationship advice. Buffy had attempted to explain this phenomenon stating that "it would just be too ooky."

Buffy. That was who Willow really needed to talk to, but even then she couldn't be sure how she would react. Besides, lately Buffy had been so wrapped up in her own business, specifically Riley, to be bothered with anyone else's life.

Willow was ashamed for thinking something like that, knowing that it wasn't fair to Buffy. She sighed deeply, quietly chuckling at how often she'd been sighing over the last twenty-four hours. The doorknob clicked and she looked up as Buffy walked in.

Moment of truth Rosenburg, gotta make a choice…



Tara was alone in her room. She couldn't bear to be around anyone at the moment. She would have to go to class eventually, but thankfully she didn't think she would be able to cry anymore even if she tried. He went into her dorm last night and was there this morning. In the same outfit no less. As far as she was concerned, that only could have meant one thing: Willow had made a choice, and Tara hadn't been the one who was chosen.

She felt a massive void in her chest where she knew her heart should be. She couldn't breathe and she couldn't feel anything. All she knew was that the one thing that had made her the happiest had just been stripped away from her. She suddenly felt less than whole. She realized that she was just feeling the same way she had felt all her life, only now she knew what it was to be whole, and she missed it. Her red-haired goddess had been taken away from her but she would still give anything just to be near the girl again. As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. Tara knew it could only possibly be one person.

Tara opened the door, her face expressionless as she saw Willow standing in the doorway.

"Hi," said the redhead softly.

Tara took a moment as she was once again overwhelmed by her feelings for Willow. "Hi," she responded, trying to smile. She felt the sides of her mouth twitch but knew it wasn't convincing. Of course it's not that she wasn't happy to see Willow; that could never happen. She was simply so swamped with so many conflicting emotions that no one could win out over another. Realizing that they were still standing in the doorway, Tara motioned for Willow to come inside.

"I can only stay for a minute, I have class," Willow explained, desperate to say something.

"Me too," Tara responded, closing the door after Willow, "I-I have class too…" she knew it was a pointless thing to say but she so desperately wanted to make conversation. To not waste the little time she had with Willow.

They stood in silence for a moment before Willow began to speak. "I just want you to know that—that what you saw this morning it wasn't…"

"No, it's okay," Tara said, trying to sound supportive. In reality she simply couldn't bear to hear the words come out of Willow's mouth. "I-I always knew that if he came back—"

"We were just talking," Willow said cutting her off. She knew Tara was hurting and couldn't bear to see her this way. "Nothing happened."

Tara was immediately hit with a wave of relief. She was so distraught that she hadn't even considered that possibility. She immediately broke into a smile. "Oh," she said softly. Hardly believing that it could be true she added: "Really?"

Willow nodded. "But, you know, it was intense. Just…talking." And it had been. All of the feelings that Oz brought back to her had made the night at times unbearably intense. Willow noticed that being with Tara, even in the same room as her, was helping to put her at ease. "We have a lot to talk about," she added, "I kinda feel like my head's gonna explode."

Tara felt for her. She didn't want Willow to be in pain no matter what, even if it meant that Tara's own heart may break. "Whatever, you know, happens…I'll still be here," she said trying to sound reassuring, "I'll still be your friend."

Willow was horrified. It had never even occurred to her that they may no longer be friends after Willow made her choice. Tara was such a big part of Willow's life now that she couldn't imagine it without the blonde. "Of course we'll still be friends," she said, on the verge of tears. "That's not even a question."

Tara could tell she had upset her love, so she tried to explain herself further. She hated playing devil's advocate but she felt it had to be done. Seeing the pain in Willow's eyes, Tara was almost brought to tears herself. "But I'm saying…I know what Oz means to you."

Willow contemplated this for a second. "How can you, when I'm not even sure." Tara began to move closer to her, to try and comfort her. "I mean, I know what he meant to me." She looked into Tara's eyes expecting to see sadness or pain, but all she found was compassion and deep, deep love. She instantly felt how lucky she was to have somebody who cared so much. Buffy had been understanding of her situation earlier, mostly, but she didn't really seem to care. Trying not to get distracted by the beauty and love in the other witch's eyes Willow continued on her train of thought. "But he left and…everything changed, I changed and…" she looked up at Tara again, back into her eyes where she found that the girl's compassion had not faltered. "…then we…"

"What?" Tara asked, effectively interrupting Willow, knowing that if she mentioned anything about the love they shared right now, it would hurt that much more when she left.

Willow felt very much at a loss. She had no idea where to find the right words to say. "I don't know," she said desperately, "I just… Life was starting to get so good…again and…" she moved closer to Tara as if to emphasize her point, "you're a big part of that. And here comes the thing I wanted most of all and…I don't know what to do, I wanna know but…I don't." By now tears were streaming down her face.

Needing to comfort the girl in some way, Tara drew close and gently stroked Willow's cheek. Staring directly into her eyes, she told her: "Do what makes you h-h-happy."

Now crying in earnest Willow couldn't take it any longer and immediately drew Tara into a deep embrace. Tara felt numb. She returned Willow's hug hoping that it would assuage her fear that Willow truly may leave her. They embraced for a full minute until Willow pulled back a little with the intent to leave. Seeing Tara's face however she was overwhelmed by the urge to kiss her and succumbed to it.

The two kissed deeply, still locked in their embrace. There was so much passion and emotion in the kiss that every second made them crave more. Both were still crying and would occasionally taste the other's salty tears on their tongues. Captured in the moment, Tara unconsciously unzipped Willow's sweater and tossed it to the floor. Neither was entirely aware of what was happening or totally conscious of their actions. Soon, however, Tara noticed Willow's hand on the small of her back, reaching up her shirt.

Immediately, Tara pulled away. She wouldn't allow it to happen like this. She knew that if they did anything, Willow would make her decision based solely on a singular moment of weakness, and that wouldn't be fair to anybody involved. Both girls stared at each other for a moment.

"I-I'm so sorry," Willow said. Her face was red and puffy both from crying and from embarrassment. She had been utterly taken over by a need for comfort. "I'll go, I'm sorry." She rushed out of the room, fearing her face would catch fire.

"W-will, you forgot your…" Tara called, but she was gone. Tara walked to where the sweater lay and picked it up. She held it to her face and inhaled deeply. She could only hope that this whole ordeal would be over soon, one way or the other.

She put on the sweater, feeling comforted by the warmth and the smell. She then grabbed her things and headed to class.



Tara was sitting on the chair in her room looking out the window. She had been sitting this way for the better part of three hours; not working, just thinking. Growing up without many friends, Tara had mastered the art of quiet contemplation. She realized it was dark. The power must have gone out at some point. It was better in the dark.

The day had taken a great toll on Tara. Between the emotional pain and the trauma of being attacked by Oz, she hardly had any strength left. She knew that Willow would come eventually. Come to tell her that she had made a choice, and that she had chosen Oz. Tara saw it in her eyes earlier. When Willow rushed off to tell Buffy of the circumstances of Oz's capture, she saw the deepest concern in Willow's eyes. She knew who the concern was for and it broke her heart. But she had to accept it.

Finally, there was a knock at the door. The moment Tara was dreading had come. But at least she would get to see Willow again.

She walked slowly to the door and opened it. She couldn't help but sigh as she saw how wonderfully beautiful Willow looked by candlelight.

Willow looked around nervously. She had been so concerned for Tara's safety earlier that she rushed off before even saying goodbye. She was incredibly worried that Tara would hate her for this. "No candles?" she asked innocently. "Well, I brought one…it's extra-flamey." She had been working on that for hours and now felt that it sounded incredibly stupid out loud.

Tara looked at her, her expression caught between smiling and sobbing. It was so thoughtful of Willow to bring a candle and so adorable that she had dubbed it 'extra-flamey.' But she knew what was coming and couldn't bring herself to be happy. She accepted the candle and backed away slightly as Willow entered the room.

"Tara I have to tell you…" Willow began. She knew she was prone to not knowing what to say, so she had made sure to prepare this speech.

"No, I-I understand," Tara interjected, once again not able to bear hearing Willow say the words, so she decided to say them herself. "You have to be with the person you l-love."

Willow was only slightly disappointed that she wouldn't get a chance to give her speech but she realized that Tara had just given her a great opening. "I am," she said sweetly, her voice conveying exactly how much she felt for the blonde.

Tara was utterly confounded. Never in a million years did she expect that Willow was going to tell her that. Of course, she had been pretending that it might happen; daydreaming. But the fact that it was really happening surprised the witch completely. "You mean…" she said, desperately seeking clarification. Hoping to the Goddess her ears hadn't deceived her.

"I mean," confirmed Willow. "Okay?"

"Oh yes," Tara responded. She had never been so happy in her life. All of the pain she had experienced over the last few days dissipated immediately. The past didn't matter. All that mattered was the beautiful moment they were sharing in the present and the wonderful future she knew was ahead.

"I feel horrible about everything I put you through," Willow said moving closer to her girlfriend. Her girlfriend. Tara was her girlfriend. Willow was absolutely elated at the thought. "And I'm gonna make it up to you, starting right now," she said, unable to control her happiness for much longer.

"Right now?" Tara asked, still hardly able to believe what was happening. Willow nodded in confirmation, and Tara blew out the candle. She placed it on the ground and wrapped Willow in a tight embrace. The two kissed; this time out of pure joy and love rather than passion and comfort. They kissed deeply, simply basking in the ecstasy of the other's touch. After who knows how long they separated, resting their foreheads against each other and both smiling uncontrollably.

"Will?" Tara said. "I'm so happy. Is this really happening?"

Willow smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips. "You tell me."

Tara grabbed her by the hand and led her to the bed. They both sat down on the edge and stared into each other's eyes, both having now adjusted to the darkness.

"I love you so much Tara," offered the redhead. "I know these last few days were probably harder on you than me. And I am so, so sorry for that."

"Willow, sweetie, it's okay," Tara said. Nothing about the previous days could hurt her anymore. She was past cloud nine, she couldn't describe her elation. "Everything is okay now. I'll be fine as long as you're with me."

Willow smiled. "Then you will always be fine." They resumed their kissing for a few more minutes until Willow, ever the worrier, pulled away again. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine, really," answered the blonde, smiling at her new girlfriend's gesture of compassion. "I'm just exhausted is all. But I promise I'm alright."

Willow smiled. "If you're exhausted you should sleep."

"But…" Tara began.

"Don't worry," Willow cut her off, "I'll be here with you."

Tara smiled and the two moved up on the bed and embraced. They crawled under the covers, remaining in contact the entire time. Tara quickly fell asleep as Willow held her. Willow leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"I'll be here with you," she whispered. "Always."

A season 4 fic? I heart these, and am jealous because I always wanted to do my own but now I've read so many wonderful ones I can't fathom it. I did just find this and haven't read through it yet but I wanted to comment because a) always good to encourage new writers and b) helps flag it so I can get back to it easier!

So once I finish reading I will get back to you. But keep up the good work.

Delayne

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Visit my epic fic As You Wish and my shorts thread F*Series & Other Shorts But don't go visit my rarely updated Official Blog!

J.J.

I really enjoyed reading this all over again. Like I said before...nicely done! I like how you skipped the redundant Willow/Oz scenes and stuck to the good W/T stuff:) I especially liked your take on what happened when Willow went to Tara's room and how Tara ends up with the sweater. There is so much speculation as to what really went on. i.e. Sex vs. no sex. I liked your version, but I always teeter towards them having sex. Wishful thinking I guess, lol.

Anyway, I hope you write something else soon! Thanks for the walk down memory lane.......

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Shelby - Racing The Rain (IN PROGRESS) / Baby Makes Three (IN PROGRESS) / The Santa Line / Everything She Does...Is Beautiful / Calfornia Grass

"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are