The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (5/6/12)
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 4:57 am 
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5. Willowhand
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Beautiful update. I love how your mind seems to be working. The poetry you include in your fic leaves me captivated and teary eyed. Thank you for sharing your goregous thoughts with us.

Please continue soon.


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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (5/6/12)
PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 10:25 pm 
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11. Fish in the Bowl

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:35 pm
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Hey, Sova!

Wow another update. *sighs dreamily* :love :flower :love

You write detail with the eye of a lover and the words of a poet; first Willow's dream:
Quote:
You have been weeping since you were born.

And then there was the feeling.

Heat emanating from the earth, giving you life, a new hope, new sunrise. Strength. Grass gently swinging into an unknown cadence of life itself, stroking your face and calling you.

(For it's not the air I breathe, but you,)
the repetition of the themes of love, earth renewal, tears and death - very powerful.

Then Willow watching Tara, again, those details . . . the hairs on her head individually illuminated etc. So detailed, so breathless and warm. This is lover's truth:

Quote:
She remembered yesterday's events. Her feelings for this girl washed over her with renewed fiery vigor and she fought with her instincts, to not go and lie beside Tara and stroke her back gently to comfort her. Willow smiled as she remembered the soft honey curve of Tara's neck and her arms wrapped around her. Her warm, trembling body pressed into hers, making her feel so proteced and strong.

The redhead was suddenly snapped from her reverie as she heard Tara move on her bed to her back. Her hair were now framing her sculpted serene face, a knowing smile spreading on her lips, her delicate hand hanging from the edge of the bed. Willow held her breath, for she was awestruck and afraid that this gorgeous scene in front of her might evanesce in the wakeful opening of Tara's eyes. Her own heartbeat was echoing in her ears, disturbing her from hearing the most beautiful reassuring cadence giving life to a sleeping goddess. Rays nuzzled Tara's high cheekbones, accenting them and her blonde hair were now illuminated by a soft caress of sunlight, enlightening each thread, giving them a shine of their own.

(Angels' wings could be sewn from this hair)
The "Angel's wings" image, unique. The continuing theme of Tara as a Goddess and Willow as being corrupt, somehow evil. I want to know more, see the layers separated like etched glass - each with its pained beauty.

Liked the coffee fantasy and the guess about Tara liking honey, perfect lover's logic again!

You did it again, Sova and then . . . a cliff-hanger!

Keep writing! :kgeek :kgeek :kgeek :whip

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother


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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (5/6/12)
PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 10:22 am 
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3. Flaming O
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@vampyregurl73

vampyregurl73 wrote:
I want to know more about Willow's life and why she is so set on her parents being "dead" to her while she is away. I always feel so bad when she calls herself an "ugly little dykeling", I just want to give her a hug. I want to know more about why she beats herself up so much.

Thanks for leaving feedback and congratz on the dibs.
Willow's life is indeed interesting. Amd I'm giving her an oppurtunity to find someone like her, another 'damaged goods' another soul which grew up too fast.

vampyregurl73 wrote:
Donny's dead but what about her father?

Mr. Maclay is going to appear in further installments and it won't be for an afternoon tea, actually it won't be very pleasant.

@fhiwda
fhiwda wrote:
The poetry you include in your fic leaves me captivated and teary eyed

Thank you very much, I'm just writing what jumps onto my mind. Recently I found a Baudelaire's quote saying - "Always be a poet, even in prose." I guess I'll make it my creed.

@Ariel
Quote:
You write detail with the eye of a lover and the words of a poet;

Thank you, this was really beautiful. I'm not a poet, nor lover though, but.. thank you.

Quote:
Willow's dream: the repetition of the themes of love, earth renewal, tears and death - very powerful.

Willow's dream was actually a metaphor. Like Willow as a (weeping) willow and Tara as uhm, earth. (terra in latin means 'earth' and Tara is pronounced like it - I think Josh mentioned it once, but I'm not sure.)
So it was a very fancy metaphor for lovemaking. I think BuffyFan4ever wanted some naughty dream.
This line meant exactly what you think it meant:

Quote:
(For it's not the air I breathe, but you,)

The energy transferred from the earth, healing you, saving you, releasing you. A moan echoes in your mind, is it real? Blazing heat spills through your body from your very core, mending you, renewing you, reviving you. Do you want to scream?


I had another chapter finished & sent to ExtraFlamey by Tuesday, I hope he'll send the final version back maybe today, or tommorrow. The title is "First day of sun"; it deals with life's bipolarity and contrasts. Thanks for reading.


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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (5/6/12)
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 6:27 am 
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3. Flaming O
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Hi! As for today, we kicked Czechs' asses in ice hockey WC. Keep your fingers crossed during the match with Russia! GO SLOVAKIA!
I'm really sorry for the delay; me and EF had encountered some technical dificulties. I'm lazy, so no further explanation to the chapter. I just have to shamelessly announce that I'm getting more into writing with each chapter. I hope it's visible. Oh, yeah, by the way, the story is finally set into some actual location: Northampton, UK. You can google Delapré, there are really nice photos of abbey, lake and park, and there are even riding stables near... perfect place.

This chapter deals with life's bipolarities and contrasts, also follows the image of pain from 'Fragile'. I hope you'll see it.


Chapter Six:
First day of sun


Dead.

The sharp fangs of this word clenched around Willow, around her body, around her very soul and she felt a lump forming in her throat.

(What happened to her? TELL ME!
She's dead. I'm sorry.)


"I'm sorry." Willow whispered hoarsely, the memory flowing from her mouth. The long-forgotten thorn stuck in her insides let her know of its presence. Again. It didn't hurt though, it numbed her. It was a natural defensive reaction she had adopted long ago.

She died. She paid her debt to nature. She is not breathing anymore, her heart stopped, her warm cheek is now ice cold. She would never see the stars again.

And so did he. He would never have a family of his own. He would never be an uncle to Tara's children. He would never see the stars again.

Everything dies.

She turned away from Tara and her gaze fell on the photo. He was so beautiful, young, full of life. Happy. So real, so alive.

(Some of the stars we're looking at don't even exist anymore. In the time that it takes for their light to reach us, they've died.)

At least they were happy now, weren't they?

Willow brought her hand up and ran her fingertips over the cold glass of the framed photograph. Cold, sardonically accenting the fact Donny was dead. She felt Tara's eyes on her, watching her, pleading and bitter. Her gaze still pinned on the crimson cheeks and toothy grin of the boy, she asked quietly. "How?"

When we're looking at the stars, we're looking into the past.

There was a heavy silence for a while, and then Tara replied blankly, as if from afar. "Murdered."

Willow felt herself stiffen, her hand fell down from the (ice-cold, as death itself) frame. Her entire being screamed in disapproval, cursing mankind, damning the violence. She bit hard on her bottom lip trying to contain herself, to ground herself with the awareness of physical pain, and the ferric taste of blood calmed her down a bit. How was that even possible? Little Donny... who could raise a hand to him? Who could hurt a child?

"Bastard!" Willow hissed through clenched teeth. She finally turned to face Tara, her gaze instantly delving into her (ocean blue, raging thunderstorm) eyes filled with myriad of emotions and Willow released the breath she hadn't realised she was holding, letting go her anger. She wasn't the one who should be feeling like this. She wanted to know who had stolen the light from Tara's brother, burying his future with a careless wave of a hand, she wanted to know it all, but she didn't want to make Tara relive it. Again.

So Willow walked over to her, stopping merely feet away and breathed deeply in, filling the numb emptiness with Tara's scent, the scent of celestial clarity, before smiling warmly and uttering. "Did you like your breakfast?"

She was still amazed how Tara's uneasiness made her own disappear in an attempt to comfort her. Just a minutes ago she had fled from Tara's room, to hide her embarrassment, to hide her longing and now she was almost confidently looking Tara in the eyes and smiling, seeing the demons therein being shrouded by something new, something sparkling.

And then Tara smiled back at her, a silent thank-you, the shadows of regret and anger disappearing entirely from her eyes, as her smile irradiated them. "Uhm. How did you know honey is my favourite?" she asked, a playful spark in her eyes.

"You smell like it." Willow mumbled in a response while averting her gaze, as sensing Tara regaining her composure made her feel shy again. "So I just supposed you would like it. You know, it's logical, isn't it?"

Tara giggled, a bit embarrassed, then shot her a very serious look. "And how exactly did you find out I drink coffee, Doctor Rosenberg?"

Willow blushed, her mind suddenly flooded with fantasies of Tara and coffee, and her mouth, and her lips, and her teeth, and her tongue - bitter, vigorous, passionate. Just like coffee. "Um. I-I. It was certainly a very complicated research. I'm not sure I can share the... research methods." Willow replied, sounding equally serious, amazed by her ability to form words in such a state.

She looked at the photo again, at the cold face of Tara's past, aware of her piercing eyes watching her. Willow couldn't help but feel compassion for them, to all those happy faces, fading away in time, in pain, in loss. She looked at the face of Mrs. Maclay and wondered how it was for her, to lose a child, a child carried in her womb for months, a child bought with her pain, screams and motherly love. She couldn't even imagine the pain Elizabeth must have gone through then. And she didn't want to have an idea, for she was afraid it would be far worse than her imagination.

Willow didn't want to be in the heavy grasp of the house anymore, the coldness, silence and emptiness reminding her of death. It was all around her, chewing her up, stabbing her with painful memories. She desperately needed to feel life, to feel alive. "Can we go out? For a walk? I think I need... something green." Alive. A bit of oxygen? Warm sun? Flowers and trees? Kisses and gay-love?

"Sure. There's a park near our house." Tara paused, apparently considering something. "Have you got a swimsuit?"

Willow's surprise overtook her other thoughts as she blurted out. "A swimsuit? I do but... You mean outdoor swimming?" Tara nodded and Willow's eyes widened. "In England? I know that it's August but... how many degrees Celsius would it be? Maybe 22? I mean, now, in the morning? And-and the water? Brrrrr." she grinned.

Tara nodded and dropped her gaze. "Yes, sorry, I forgot… So no swimming." She immediately brought her eyes back at Willow and smiled shyly, as if to apologise.

And then something in Willow's mind clicked as it automatically created and solved the equation. No swimming? I don't get to see Tara in the swimsuit! She immediately changed her mind. Nothing would feel more alive than Tara's almost naked body, the water-drops left reflecting the light and glistening. And cold water wasn't that bad, after all. Willow imagined how she'd shiver and chatter her teeth, and then the moment she'd emerge from the cold water, her skin would gratefully accept even the caress of cool English air, making it feel much warmer than it actually was. Nobody ever hardened themselves with warm water.

"Um, actually, I think... swimming would be... cool." Willow smiled and bit her tongue, looking at Tara with hopeful eyes.

"Perfect!" Tara beamed and Willow felt her knees weakening under the weight of Tara's breathtakingly beautiful eyes. The storm in them was gone, leaving even a bluer sky than before.

***

As they left the house, Willow inhaled the damp air deeply, the smell of the morning dew still lingering in it. Tara was smiling, happily setting her face against the sunlight, revelling in the sensation.

“You know, it's been raining a lot lately. This is the first time the sun has shone in, like, weeks!” she laughed and Willow was mesmerised by both the sight and the sound. You have no idea, Tara. It was perfectly fitting. This was the first time the sun had shone so strong, so bright, on Willow, the rays penetrating her skin, her body, reaching her very soul. The sun seamed to shine so close to her that she could feel the heat emanating from it, yet she was oblivious to that. It’s better to burn out than to fade away. The happiness in Tara’s voice and eyes made her feel a bit high and careless, and she started to hum softly some unknown melody, hoping that this moment would last forever.

And as she saw Tara looking at her, she smiled widely, reached out with her hand and gently stroked Tara’s forearm. The touch lasted only a moment, yet Willow felt the contact sending chills running down her spine. Tara was a bit surprised, but her expression reflected nothing but the same beaming joy as before. When Willow noticed that, she felt as if the whole world was spinning. Here, in the sunlight, with Tara and being able to touch her, she felt beautiful and alive. She smugly pinned her gaze in front, leaving Tara wondering why she had touched her. And then she let out a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” the blonde girl asked curiously as they were nearing the crossroads.

“You English! You drive on the left side of the road!” and with that Willow burst out in another series of giggles.

“Indeed. We do. And that’s funny because…?” Tara teased.

“Because I think it is. Period.” Willow pouted playfully, crossing her arms.

"Silly." Tara chuckled, but then suddenly became serious. “Will, you should be aware of it.. You know, while crossing the road?”

Willow’s insides clenched and she felt proud of being worthy of Tara’s concern. The tone of her voice was so sensitive and so caring, just like the sunlight. “Of course I will be.” Willow replied gently, before grinning again. “You better not leave me alone.”

“I won’t.” Tara shot her a sincere smile.

“Promise?” Willow asked, looking at Tara, who stopped abruptly.

“Willow!” Tara grasped her hand and pulled her back, and only then did Willow realise that she had nearly stepped into the path of a car. “Oops.” She shrugged and chuckled.

“So funny.” Tara deadpanned.

Willow slowly become aware of Tara’s slender hand still holding her own, and she squeezed it lightly, while dropping her head. “I’m sorry Tara, I didn’t… thanks.”

“It’s OK.” Tara’s expression softened as she returned the gesture and let go of Willow’s hand. “I just… I don’t want you to get h-hurt.” She sighed.
Willow immediately decided she was going to be more responsible, if only for (my sun, my earth, my everything, my) Tara. She smiled in response and waited for the road to be clear before crossing. “See? I did it!” she exclaimed enthusiastically as she reached the other side and winked at the blonde girl.

On the left side of the newly visible landscape a small red cottage, partially hidden in trees, came into view and Willow heard Tara explaining:

“It’s the Gatekeeper’s cottage. Delapré used to be a monastery, I think.” She paused, then continued. “We don’t have to go by the main road though, there are.. too many people and cars,” she gave Willow a meaningful look, “so we could maybe go to the Abbey through the park, but it’s up to you.”

“Lead the way.”

As they both emerged from the shadows of the high trees, the sun again nuzzled their cheeks with its rays and Tara sighed happily.

What other noises could she make? What would her lips taste like?

Willow felt like running. And jumping, and laughing, and wallowing in the grass and kissing Tara’s neck. The meadow was just gorgeous; the grass danced with the cadence of the gentle breeze, swinging it with its breath, the breath of nature. A few oak trees, standing alone and casting shadows onto the warming ground, were preventing the sun from bringing everything under its reign. The light couldn’t exist without darkness; how could one tell the difference, then?

The cool damp morning air seemed to grow even more alive as it hit Willow’s eager lungs.

Donny would never breathe this air again.

She shook her head, as if she could get the thoughts of Tara’s brother away from it with that simple movement. And then she looked at Tara, her face bathed in sunlight, her hair glowing and streaming behind her, the picture of life and beauty. Life couldn’t exist without death; how could one tell the difference then?

Her heart started to pound faster, as if to underline the fact that it was still beating (for Tara), as she finally accepted the fact. Death makes an artist. Donny will be remembered. Donny will be immortal.

Willow wanted Tara to hold her, to teach her passion, to make her feel alive, to break her shell. And then she could happily die, for she would have known what love is. Love was her chance for immortality, for being an ever-blooming flower, never forgotten, never withering. Would Tara ever wither? She was so alive, so bright, so young… Young couldn’t exist without old; how could one tell the difference then?

The cool English air wouldn’t feel like a warm breeze on her skin if not for the coldness of the water she’d emerge from. The first day of sun after the long weeks of rain seemed much more passionate and bright, than the equally sunny day after the weeks of sunlight. The first day of sun, mending Willow, reminding her, grounding her and bringing her to a realisation bright as the sun itself - everything adverse is for good. She felt it all slide away from her shoulders. Fear, insecurity, doubts.

“Tara?” she whispered, overwhelmed by her breakthrough.

The blonde looked at her, her eyes whispering and waiting, (her lips inviting and pleading.)

“This is the best day of my life.” Willow breathed out. So far. She was sure that in the days she would spend with this wonderful girl, there’d be plenty that would be even better. She couldn’t imagine it though.

“Really?” Tara asked, surprise written on her face.

“Yes. It’s the first day of sun.” Willow smiled, saving the deep meaning for herself.

“I’m glad you like it here.” Tara said, bowing her head.

“Dear temporary sis’, I would like it anywhere with you.” Willow said seriously, then sneaked her hand into Tara’s and swayed them playfully.

“Me too.” Tara replied sheepishly, but smiling nevertheless.

And Willow beamed at her, sticking her tongue out a bit, the joy from the perfect moment once again overcoming her own shyness. Tara laughed melodically, her voice like a gentle ringing of lilies and Willow stroked her hand with her thumb, wishing she could imprint this one moment into her memory forever, the moment of carelessness and joy, the moment of undefiled innocence, the moment of sunlight, the moment of Tara. The moment of perfection.

Perfection born from pain and numbness.

The sun hovered over them, blessing them with its rays, the same rays that grazed upon the head of a man on the other side of the country. His piercingly cold blue eyes closed from the sudden brightness, his pupils narrowing from the excessive light. It was the first day of sun.


To be continued with Chapter Seven: Swanheart

_________________
Awakening


Last edited by sova on Mon May 28, 2012 4:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (5/19/12)
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 10:06 am 
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4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:59 am
Posts: 160
Dibs! Wow, I mean ... just wow! :bow :bow :bow I'm really in awe of your writing skills. Although you write prose there are so many beautiful parts that sound like poetry. I can hardly pick which lines I love most, but your beautiful description of Willows epiphany in the following part really touched me deeply:

Quote:
Willow wanted Tara to hold her, to teach her passion, to make her feel alive, to break her shell. And then she could happily die, for she would have known what love is. Love was her chance for immortality, for being an ever-blooming flower, never forgotten, never withering. Would Tara ever wither? She was so alive, so bright, so young… Young couldn’t exist without old; how could one tell the difference then?

The cool English air wouldn’t feel like a warm breeze on her skin if not for the coldness of the water she’d emerge from. The first day of sun after the long weeks of rain seemed much more passionate and bright, than the equally sunny day after the weeks of sunlight. The first day of sun, mending Willow, reminding her, grounding her and bringing her to a realisation bright as the sun itself - everything adverse is for good. She felt it all slide away from her shoulders. Fear, insecurity, doubts.


The last sentence left me with a sense of dread though, is the man Donnys killer and if yes will he cross paths with our girls later on?

Once again my highest praise for this wonderful gem of a story. :clap :bow :clap :bow :clap :bow
I can hardly wait for more!


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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (5/19/12)
PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 9:50 am 
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10. Troll Hammer

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2006 8:12 pm
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Loving your style of writing and the story so far.
Wondering who killed Donny and where is Tara's dad.
Looking forward to reading more.


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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (5/19/12)
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 9:10 am 
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3. Flaming O
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Sorry guys, no feedback response, I'm in a big hurry. As for the German-the-twisted-language reference, Willow certainly didn't mean to offend you if you are German. But if she doesn't understand something, she becomes a bit frustrated with it and then tends to exaggerate. So don't be mad at her. OK? So, here goes nothing.


Chapter Seven:
Swanheart



Tara’s lips were curving into a contented smile as she returned the thumb-stroking, a gentle reminder of closeness. Willow looked at their interlocked hands and sighed in disbelief. It was all too beautiful, wasn’t it just a dream? She brought her other hand in front of her and gazed at it for a moment, waiting for her fingers to start changing, but nothing happened, and Willow laughed, because this was real, this beautiful day, the golden sky and Tara, who was giving her a questioning glance.

“Reality check.” Willow explained, trying to control her voice, and smiled broadly. Tara’s face, illuminated by sunlight and her eyes of the sky, the meadow and the gentle English breeze had dazed her, and she forgot all caution. “I was checking if I’m not dreaming or something, because this is really beautiful and perfect, this day, gorgeous..” She averted her gaze from Tara’s face and mumbled. “Like you.”

Tara blushed and dropped her head, but her hand still held Willow’s. “I-I’m not.” She smiled shyly, shooting a quick glance on the redhead before bowing her head again.

“Yes, you are.” Willow squeezed her hand encouragingly and wondered why this girl was so shy. She was beautiful like a sunrise, mysterious like the sunset. And insecure like morning.

(An angel’s dream.)

“Hey, um, the abbey!” Tara pointed in front of them with her free hand, where a small part of a red-brick Victorian building could be seen, although the vast majority of its facade was still hiding behind the cloak of trees.

Realisation washed over Willow and she casually pointed out: “Delapré.. It sounds like.. De la prairie.. Which means..”

“In the meadow, yes. You learn French?” Tara asked with honest interest.

“Yeah. But when I grow up, I’m gonna speak Spanish.” Willow grinned at the silliness of her statement.

“When you grow up? You haven’t yet?” Tara laughed, then sighed and continued. “French is beautiful.. It’s the language of poets and.. L-love, you know?” She didn’t met Willow’s eyes.

“So what’s your foreign language? I mean, I know that English people don’t really need any, but you have to pick one at school, right?”

“Right, I have Latin.”

“You’re so lucky! I have German! Blaaaah!” Willow stuck her tongue out and made an expression of disgust, then started in exaggerated German, hoping to hear Tara laughing. “Wir müssen alle Schmetterlingen ausrotten, weil wir schlechte Menschen sind!” She gestured wildly with her hands, looking at Tara and pretending horror. ”I mean, what kind of language is that!? Schmetterlingen? Süßigkeiten? You know, learning German leaves permanent consequences. Look at me; learning it since I was 11 and now I'm announcing that We have to kill all the butterflies, which I really don’t wanna, but hello! German, the twisted language.”

***


“Look Tara, swans!” Willow pointed at the surface of the lake which they had reached after walking further into the gardens. She’d asked Tara to talk a bit about the history of the whole Delapré Abbey, but she was so enthralled by the marvellous beauty of the blooming flowers, their scent filling the air and their colours accented by sunlight, that all she could pay attention to was Tara’s melodic voice and her tongue caressing the words she said. She hadn’t remembered a single piece of information. Only that the Abbey used to be a monastery occupied by French nuns, which she had figured out anyway.

The water of the Delapré lake was glistening as it reflected the sun rays and mirrored the land around it. The surface was peppered with white dots, the swans, the gracious swans, occasionally taking off, disturbing the water and letting rings appear on it. Most of the swans were on the edge of the lake; where a small girl was throwing them breadcrumbs. As Willow noticed the cygnets, hiding behind their big mothers, sometimes cautiously emerging from their shelters to pick a breadcrumb, she smirked. Ugly ducklings!

Tara nodded. “There's lots of swans in the Abbey grounds.”

“Wow. They are gorgeous.” Willow breathed out as they approached and the grace of the birds came rushing towards her at full strength; their long white, celestial, pure necks, graciously curved and their bewitching gaze totally captivating her.

As they both sat down at the edge of the lake, leg to leg, hidden in the reeds, Tara uttered thoughtfully. “You know what’s really cool about swans? They mate for life. They w-wouldn’t… jump into a temporary relationship.”

“Yeah.” Willow agreed, looking at the birds, but then it hit her. Is she talking about us? She turned to look at Tara incredulously, not sure if she should let it go, or reply. Could she be meaning us? No way. Maybe she’s just thinking about… someone. Willow studied Tara’s profile for a while, then she decided to reply. “They do. There’s no way they would consider any relationship temporary.”

Now Tara was the one who stared with widened eyes, apparently not expecting Willow to react in the similar manner. Then she pinned her gaze on the swans again. “Even if one of them had to fly away eventually?” she uttered under her breath, nearly inaudibly, with sadness cloaking her voice.

As Willow caught these words, her heart started to pound frantically and she inhaled sharply. The sunlight illuminating her face felt even warmer than before. For a moment, just for a moment, she thought that Tara meant her, that Tara loved her, but then she frowned. It could be anyone. She’s not talking about you, get over it. “I’m sure they will return to each other, once it is possible.” she said, proud of her steady voice, then took the blonde’s hand into hers to try and comfort her, feeling an instant jolt of electricity.

“Really?” Tara left a small amount of hope pass over her face, and gave a shy half-smile.

“Of course! Whoever it is, Tara… I’m sure he’ll return.” Willow’s desire-swollen heart ached from these words, but she said them anyway, for Tara’s hope was more important then her own pain, and she would face anything to see her happy. Tara raised her saddened blue eyes to Willow’s, then swallowed hard and Willow figured she needed more reassurance. ”And if he doesn’t, he’s a total idiot, since you are the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.”

“I’m not…” Tara started to drop her head again, but Willow turned to her and lifted her chin with her hand.

“Oh yes, you are.”

Tara tentatively lifted her eyes and dived into Willow’s gaze and the redhead grew even more serious, all signs of silly-talk gone.

“Tara. You are beautiful, you are amazing, you are… I wish I could find the words that would describe you. Look at those swans. That’s how I see you.” Willow whispered, closing her eyes and dropping her hand from Tara’s chin, embarrassed about saying too much, of letting her heart speak her mind and suddenly she had to fight off the urge to run away. Tara didn’t let go of her hand as she had expected her to, but tightened her hold instead and Willow felt her pulse quicken.

And then a tender hand cupped and soft fingers stroked her cheek and she heard Tara whisper her name. Willow left a soft smile pass onto her lips, her eyes still tightly closed, and melted into the touch for a while, but then her smile grew bitter, for the torture of such closeness was nearly unbearable, she needed it to stop before she did something stupid. “Tara..” Willow started to whisper pleadingly, but she didn’t have the chance to complete her sentence, for Tara’s soft and sweet lips brushed lightly against her own, hesitantly, asking; inviting and pleading.

Willow’s world exploded with the sparks she felt when their lips touched. And as she welcomed Tara’s lips fully on her own, everything went still. Just for a moment, nothing existed. Her heart stopped and her senses went dull, her entire being reduced to a feeling of Tara’s warm and moist lips on hers. The feeling of heaven. The baptism. Alive.

The ever-present despair and desire for the blonde, the hissing of the swans, the light splashing of water and the small swan-feeding girl’s excited laugh, all were gone as Tara moved her hand to the back of Willow’s head, entwining it into her hair, urging her closer. She was enveloped in warm, velvety softness, their breath mingling as one and as she parted her lips, tasting the bitterness of coffee in the tender depths of Tara’s mouth, she couldn’t help but moan quietly.

This was the moment Willow had been dreaming of since she met her, Tara whose hands were stroking her head and playing with her hair as her tongue gently grazed Willow’s, invoking an ancient dancing rhythm, soft and torturing in its slowness. And Willow happily responded in kind, feeling her hand tremble as she lifted it up to Tara’s cheek, touching the warm skin, feeling its real texture, and stroked it with her fingertips. Their tongues entwined in a sensuous dance, exchanging touches and kisses of their own and as Willow tentatively brought a hand up over Tara’s hip to her back, her fingertips lightly dancing along Tara’s spine, the blonde shivered in delight. She’d responded by hardening the kiss and Willow’s heart started to pound frantically, her breathing growing ragged with need.

(Hot, vigorous, insistent and bitter. Passionate, just like coffee.)

She lifted her other hand to Tara’s neck, touching her hair and she noticed, from a far, that they hadn’t melted away. She captured Tara’s bottom lip between hers, gently sucking on it, before letting it go and pulling away slightly, finally opening her eyes to look at Tara, Tara, who gave a part of herself to Willow with this kiss, her swollen full lips, her (coffee) mouth slightly parted in anticipation and her heavy-lidded eyes still closed. Willow watched in awe as Tara brought her hand to her own lips and touched them; her melodic voice trembling as she whispered. “Is this real?”

And Willow’s heart stopped from the surge of emotions as she realised, that Tara couldn’t believe this was happening too. She felt her blood singing in her veins, her whole body hummed in ecstasy. Tara had kissed her; Tara felt for her. Here on the edge of the Swan Lake, the sunlight in her hair and in her soul, Tara’s lips had descended on her own and made her fly. She wasn’t an ugly duckling anymore; the winter passing in Tara’s eyes had made her grow up, the kiss (the first day of sun) announcing Spring in her soul and as she stared into Tara’s serene azure eyes, she saw her reflection - the swan, the beautiful swan who wouldn’t jump into a temporary relationship. Here, in the sunlight, Willow was beautiful, wanted and accepted.
“It’s a dream.” she breathed out and hugged the other girl tightly in reassurance, her head resting just above Tara’s heart, which was floundering helplessly in its cage, just like Willow’s. Eager to fly. Truly alive.

“You know what's cool about swans? There’s no way they could consider any relationship temporary, even if one of them had to fly away… eventually.” Willow spoke quietly into the stillness, stroking Tara’s back gently to underline the message of her statement and hastened to throw herself into (sky-blue, oceans deep) whispering and waiting eyes. The look in Tara’s eyes was enough to convince Willow the other girl truly felt something powerful for her.

Willow was well aware of the promise behind her words, behind the exchanged gazes, but she knew her feelings wouldn’t change. She felt a tingling connection to this girl, which she hadn’t known for even one full day yet, but they shared something, an anchor to the past, and a bitter taste in the mouth. And now they shared this. The long look into each other’s eyes, the insecurity and devotion hidden in Tara’s gaze and the promise of love in Willow’s. She knew they both were thinking about the shortness of time they’d spent together, and how was it possible for them to feel this strong about each other.

(Love deprivation!)

Tara’s strong arms wrapped around her and held her even closer, as if she was afraid Willow would slip away. But then again, she could. She was actually going to. Ten months from now she’d be gone, leaving Tara alone. Alone. Maybe just for a little while, but still... She couldn’t do that to her, leave her; the gracious swan who wouldn’t jump into a temporary relationship. They should stop this. What if Tara loved her so much, that they'd become attached to the point when Willow's departure would cause them both to fall apart? Could she do that to her? Was it fair? And was she even that loveable? But, she realised, it wasn't that much about love. It was about connection, about not being alone. And if Willow left, that'd be exactly how Tara would feel. Alone.

Willow stiffened with that realisation and straightened herself up, leaving the warm shelter of Tara’s body. She raised her timid eyes to Tara’s, drowning helplessly and suddenly it was very hard. Her mouth went dry and her tongue wouldn’t move as she gazed into the insecurity in Tara’s eyes, into the fear.

(Fragile.)

Willow reached out with her hand and brushed Tara’s hair from her face, smiling warmly at her as she let her hand caress the ethereal tenderness of Tara’s cheek, her thumb lightly brushing over her lips as they slowly curved into a shy smile. The uncertainty faded a bit, and Willow sighed, trying to find a way to explain… without hurting Tara. Without causing the most gorgeous and precious being on this world to be insecure. A fragile and gracious swan, which wouldn’t jump into a temporary relationship.

“You know that after 10 months I’ll have to go. I could… stop.. You know, before…” she choked out, unable to express what she meant.

But Tara, oh so precious Tara! understood and helped her. “Before it’d be too hard… to l-let go?”

Willow nodded and Tara sighed, shifting behind the redhead, letting her lean onto her body.

“Sometimes… there’s no right choice.” Tara started, playing with red hair and Willow snuggled closer, her fingertips stroking Tara’s other hand which was wrapped around her mid-section. Then she simply closed her eyes and savoured Tara’s soft voice: “My mom once told me; taste the fruit of joy while you still can, for winter will come and frost will destroy it.” Willow heard in her voice that she was frowning as she continued. “Or something like that. And I think she’s right.”

“Weeeell… you’ve already tasted me.” Willow chuckled, trying to ease the tension, then reddened up to the roots of her hair. “I mean, not that kinda, I mean, you know, we, that, uhm, tasted... I’m shutting up righ - where’s your hand, missy?" she squeaked in a high-pitched voice as she felt Tara’s hand sneak even higher when she tightened her hold, coming accidentally into faint contact with the bottom of her breast and her heart started to race. Again.

Tara’s arm immediately dropped at the redhead’s startled squeal and she disentangled herself from Willow, sitting cross-legged next to her, wringing her hands in her lap. “I’m sorry…” she mumbled, the uncertainty back in her voice as she hid her face behind the curtain of her golden hair.

“No Tara, i-it’s okay..” Willow said gently, mentally kicking herself for her reaction as she again realised the depth of the blonde’s insecurity. “You can uhm… touch me, if you want to. It’s okay.” She rested her hand on Tara’s thigh and the blonde smiled at her through her hair, relieved, as Willow leaned closer and gave her a peck on the nose. So that's what noses are for.

“What was that for?” Tara asked innocently, a faint hint of shyness still glistening in her ice-blue, yet warm eyes.

“Because you’re Tara. And it’s the first day of sun.” Willow replied, half-jokingly, but meaning every word and moving into Tara’s embrace.

“Will?”

“Uhm?” she raised a questioning gaze into Tara’s eyes. Whispering and waiting, shining with a deep realisation, strong as an iceberg. Tara tenderly cupped her cheeks, then kissed her on the forehead, slowly, her velvety lips sending chills down Willow’s spine.

Willow sighed and closed her eyes dreamily, before she felt Tara pull away and whisper: “I want to suffer - if it means a step closer to you.” And her lips claimed Willow’s in yet another warm promise.


To be continued with Chapter Eight: No Return

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Awakening


Last edited by sova on Tue May 29, 2012 8:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (5/25/12)
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 7:11 pm 
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11. Fish in the Bowl

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:35 pm
Posts: 1487
Topics: 2
Location: California
Dibs! :flower

"first day of sun" a golden thread, a note of music sounding throughout that beautiful post.

So many moments from the "sun nuzzling" to the sadness of stars being dead behind their light.

I'm keeping it short, f/b does take time - but your story is so beautiful - tremulous, but strong. LOVE the coffee as passion idea and the previous phrase about death being an artist and Donny being immortal. Reminds me of that poem, "To an Athlete Dying Young".

Thank you for your gift and for sharing that gift.

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother

Very, very beautiful!


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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (5/25/12)
PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 3:51 pm 
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20. Not one Much for the Timber
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Nice update! I really like the detail you put into this chapter with the description of the abbey and such. The Swan analogy was really beautiful and I was thrilled with the :wtkiss Not many answers to the questions raised in previous chapters, but I like where you are going.

Keep up the great work!

_________________
Shelby - Racing The Rain (IN PROGRESS) / Baby Makes Three (IN PROGRESS) / The Santa Line / Everything She Does...Is Beautiful / Calfornia Grass

"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are


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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (UPDATED: 5/25/12)
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 6:22 am 
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4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:59 am
Posts: 160
Another beautiful update! Some of the sentences you put in there are like little pieces of art on their own, like:

Quote:
Willow’s world exploded with the sparks she felt when their lips touched. And as she welcomed Tara’s lips fully on her own, everything went still. Just for a moment, nothing existed. Her heart stopped and her senses went dull, her entire being reduced to a feeling of Tara’s warm and moist lips on hers. The feeling of heaven. The baptism. Alive.
:wtkiss :bigkiss

Quote:
Here on the edge of the Swan Lake, the sunlight in her hair and in her soul, Tara’s lips had descended on her own and made her fly. She wasn’t an ugly duckling anymore; the winter passing in Tara’s eyes had made her grow up, the kiss (the first day of sun) announcing Spring in her soul and as she stared into Tara’s serene azure eyes, she saw her reflection - the swan, the beautiful swan who wouldn’t jump into a temporary relationship. Here, in the sunlight, Willow was beautiful, wanted and accepted.
:flower

And of course the ending:

Quote:
“Will?”

“Uhm?” she raised a questioning gaze into Tara’s eyes. Whispering and waiting, shining with a deep realisation, strong as an iceberg. Tara tenderly cupped her cheeks, then kissed her on the forehead, slowly, her velvety lips sending chills down Willow’s spine.

Willow sighed and closed her eyes dreamily, before she felt Tara pull away and whisper: “I want to suffer - if it means a step closer to you.” And her lips claimed Willow’s in yet another warm promise.


Sigh! This is so touching! I really hope they will find a way to stay together or at least reunite as soon as possible!
Please update again soon!


P.S.: I'm german and I want to point out that in my country it is neither a rule nor a conviction that we have to kill all butterflies, LOL.
I've never read or heard something like that before, where did you come across it, did you actually have to learn it in school?! Oh, by the way, the plural is Schmetterlinge, so the correct term would be "Wir müssen alle Schmetterlinge ausrotten". (If you wanted to use the dative, f.e. as in "follow the butterflies!" you'd have to say "Folgt den Schmetterlingen!", though. German grammar is quite complicated, I admit.) But hey, I'd say Süßigkeiten (=sweets) are yummy no mater how you call them!


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 Post subject: Re: Awakening (UPDATED: 5/25/12)
PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 8:38 am 
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3. Flaming O
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I've finally found a time between studying for finals, coffee-drinking and laziness-fighting to write some feedback to your feedback. So, here we go,

Ariel, amazing as usual, you're really, really good at encouraging writers! I'm glad you're still reading. There are times I have doubts about myself... Well, almost always, to tell the truth - thank you very much; words like yours keep me going, really.

Wills redemption Uf, wow! Thanks you for your praise and I'm really glad you like my story. Well, as for the last sentence of First day of sun, this pleasant man is going to make appearance in next chapter. The... Schmetterlinge thingy - it wasn't anything in particular, it was just a crazy mocker-y sentence; I had a classmate and he hated german, so everytime he mocked it, he used this sentence and I have no idea why. Btw, thanks for grammatic insight. German at school usually gives me headaches, but I like it. In non-schoolish variety. I think it sounds really good, despite the Süßigkeiten and Schmetterlinge and another ridiculous words.

love_2003 & FineyMcFine Thanks for leaving your feedback! I'm glad you like my story. Some of your questions are gonna be answered in No Return.


OK, so. I have No Return finished, it's a bit longer and a lot different than the previous chapters. But I'm afraid I'm gonna do a rewrite of this story. In fact, I have already the first two chapters rewritten. The story and the characters are more mature and darker, there's magicky kind of stuff too; the plot is better-developed and I'm also gonna stop stealing GIAA's names of songs for chapter titles. So, while that's cool, it means no No Return, but instead a first rewritten chapter in this topic, so none of your precious feedback would be lost.

I hope it's okay and I'm really glad you bear with me.

Love,
S.

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