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TITLE:: The Other Side
AUTHOR:: guitar_girl
RATING:: PG-13 for right now. It could most definitely work itself into NC-17 at some point down the line. I will give fair warning when/if this happens!
DISCLAIMER:: Willow, Tara and any other BtVS characters, and maybe some scattered dialog, belong to Mutant Enemy. I have added a few original characters from my head that are my own!
SUMMARY:: I am soooooo bad at summarizing! AU and set in the mountains! Willow is in an accident and falls into a coma. Tara, Willow's best friend since middle school, is the only one that she can communicate with. Can Willow's love for Tara bring her back or is she lost to the other side forever?
FEEDBACK:: Yes please! I want brutal honesty! The more feedback the better!
AUTHOR’S NOTE:: Hello Kittens! This is my very first fic, well EVER! I have never really wrote anything before besides essays. This story does have angst but rest assured that things will be very much okay! I would like to thank my beta ExtraFlamey! It means a lot that you are taking time to help me with my story! I couldn't have got this far without you!
Warning! This has yet to be beta'd so all mistakes are mine. I figured that I had waited long enough to update and I can always go back and edit later. I also wanted to apologize for the long time absence and I hope that ya'll will forgive me! Also I will post replies to feedback later and I hope that some of you are still going to continue reading. Well without further ado...
Chapter 9
Standing outside of the school, I realized after what just happened that I should get to the hospital and try my hardest to put myself back into my body, but I was just too drained to try and return to my body today and all I want to do is curl up in Tara’s arms. I had no idea what had just happened in that school. All I knew is that something was wrong.
There was no way that I usually would just lose my temper like that. The darkness that I felt wasn’t about what the boy had said about Tara. It was something bigger. It felt like I had crossed a line. That something sinister was at play and my understanding of this world wasn’t quite adept to know exactly what it was.
When those feelings had washed over me it was a feeling that I had never really felt before. Not like when I had first been in the accident. That feeling was completely different from this. Then I had felt the need to move on and be free. This had felt so different.
It felt like despair. It felt like the opposite of freedom. I have a feeling if I had given into the power I would have been trapped here, stuck in this limbo forever. Nothing about the encounter that I had just experienced was natural. There was something else at play here and it scared me, badly. The best thing that I could do right now would be to go home and wait for Tara and explain everything to her. Hopefully, she would understand. Now I had to get back home, somehow.
I guess the best option would be to try teleporting again; it would be a good time to practice anyway. I tried to relax my mind and spirit as my eyes drifted shut. I shut out all the sounds around me and focused as hard as I could on Tara’s room.
I pictured myself standing there in her room, the white, soft, cushiony carpet under my feet, and her bed just to the left of me. I imagined her dark walls lit with the soft glow of her fairy lights. The night table with the beautiful lamp was right behind me and a random flyer from back in college hung on her wall just in front of me.
I opened my eyes and saw the flyer for the fall fest that still hung there from college and felt triumphant. I looked around just to make sure, but there was no doubt that I was in Tara’s room. I clapped my imaginary hands together with joy and made a giddy sound. I actually teleported where I wanted to go! It was amazing. I felt myself do a little happy dance in my head as I settled down on the couch to wait for Tara to come home.
I heard the door open a couple of hours later and like a faithful dog I jumped up and ran to her side. I couldn’t help being so excited; it just came naturally when I was around her. Everything that I wanted was within my grasp, just not literally. Hopefully that part would come later.
“Willow.” Tara called my name from the door as she reached around to close it behind her.
“Right here.” I said in a chirpy voice. I know that I shouldn’t be this happy after today’s event, but I couldn’t help it. It was like an instant switch was flipped when I was around Tara. She made me happier than anyone else ever could and I had no doubt that she is the only one that could make me happy.
“Will, I think we need to talk” even though she initially smiled at me it faded fast and her voice didn’t share the same chipper tone had.
“Yeah, I have some things to tell you.” I said as I instinctively dropped my head and wrung my hands together. I felt like the five year old version of myself that had to tell her parents that she had knocked out the window to the old building beside my house.
“Let’s go sit down and talk about it.” Her tone was not as rough as it was before but it didn’t bare any happiness either.
“Okay.” I responded as we made our way to the plush couch that adorned her living room.
Tara took a seat on the old comfortable brown couch and looked down at her hands. I instantly sat down beside her and scooted as close to her as I could get. No longer worried about boundaries that we might have had in years past because those were gone now. I just wanted her as near as I could so that maybe I could draw some strength from our closeness.
“So, was that you at school today? Did you do that to Danny?” she questioned me not daring to look up. I knew when I saw the look in her eyes at school today that she knew exactly who the culprit was that knocked Danny out of his seat, and that there was no denying now even if I desperately wanted to.
“Yes.” I answered without much emotion in my voice. I didn’t know what to say. I wondered if I should tell her what happened, the dark feeling that took over me completely.
“What happened, Will? I know you and that isn’t you.” She said finally looking up to the spot on the couch where I was perched.
“Honestly Tara, I have no idea. I’m scared, I don’t know what is happening to me or how I even done what I did to him.” The words were high pitched and choked as I felt my throat tighten with emotion.
“Shhhh baby, it is gonna be alright. Just tell me what happened from the beginning.” Tara always knew how to comfort me. I didn’t deserve it though, but I still had to tell her what had happened to me.
“Well, I was just about to leave your room and try to make my way to the hospital when I heard those boys talking about you.” I paused for a moment thinking back on the moment when I felt the anger just underneath my skin like a bad itch that wanted to be scratched, but shouldn’t. I took a moment and turned away refusing to give into it, thinking of Tara and her beautiful light and my calmness returned. I took a deep breath and continued. “They were saying mean, gross stuff and I got mad. It was just like my normal temper, until…well it wasn’t.” I paused again thinking about the how my normal temper acted as a catalyst was for whatever it was that lurked deep within me and it made me shiver with undiluted fear. “It turned into something else…something dark.”
“What do you mean, Willow?” she asked me, her eyes flooded with concern.
“It was awful Tara. It was like it took my anger and threw kerosene on it and lit it with a match. I am not talking about just a little bit of kerosene either; this was like a tanker full of the stuff. It lit me on fire and I felt like I wanted to just cause destruction and pain. It just happened to be channeled at that boy. Tara, I don’t know what it was….” I took in a deep steadying breath “…but a part of me liked it.” I said as I removed myself from the couch and walked across the room to the bay window that overlooked the luscious green grass in Tara’s front yard. The sun hung in the air and I knew that sunset wouldn’t be long, but it certainly wasn’t soon enough. I just wanted it to get here so Tara could hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay.
“You liked it?” she said with confusion in her voice.
“Yes.” I said hanging my head in shame. “It was something like I had never felt before. Something so dark and powerful and it called me into its hideous depths and there was a part of me that wanted to go. I felt so powerful like I could do anything. I knew it had a price though, I could feel it, like a sudden blinding knowledge that couldn’t ignore.” I said pacing the floor in front of the window.
“What price?” Tara’s voice had a bit of a quaver, almost undetectable, but still there, as she spoke.
“My soul, an eternity of being stuck like this without actually being me anymore. I would become a dark soulless thing stuck here doing evil things. I almost paid that price today, Tara. I almost crossed that line and let the darkness take me into its abyss and swallow me whole. I wanted too, I wanted too so bad. I wanted the power and I didn’t care about its costs.” I said crying, it was unforgivable.
“What stopped you?” I could tell she was almost afraid to ask.
“You. Your light and purity pulled me back from the brink of complete darkness. Tara you saved me. I could never thank you for what you did.” I uttered to her barely above a whisper.
“But, how? How did I save you?” Tara asked still confused.
“Well I didn’t know what it was exactly, but as soon as I got back here today this was all I could think about and I realized how you saved me. I have never wanted anything as much as I have wanted you. You are my light Tara, you guided me from darkness. You already have my soul and I couldn’t give it away even if I wanted to.” My voice was soft but steady. “I was filled with anger and hate, and I liked it because of the power. Tara if you hadn’t been there to pull me out, I don’t know what I would have done. I don’t even want to think about it because I don’t think I would have come back from it. Plus, I have feeling that it was nothing compared to what it could have been. Tara, what if it happens again and you aren’t there?” I asked my voice breaking. I couldn’t stomach the possibility that it could happen, but if she hadn’t been there today then who knows what I would have done.
“Willow, I will always be there. You are stuck with me. Whatever this is, we will beat it together. I promise I will keep your soul safe…and you better do the same with mine” She said with absolute conviction in her voice as she rose off the couch to come stand beside me by the window.
“You promise not to let the darkness have me?” I tried never showed emotion like this. I tried to be strong, but I couldn’t. I just wanted to run into her arms and find comfort, but she would just pass right through me.
“I promise I won’t let the anything have you but me. Your mine Willow Rosenberg and I will not let anything else have you.” Her voice was strong and unfaltering.
I couldn’t do anything but crumple to the floor in front of the window crying. She loved me, she actually loved me and she wouldn’t let the darkness have me, even if she should. Out of nowhere, I felt her strong, loving arms wrap around me. It was shocking, but then I looked up noticing that the sun was setting and I knew what was happening. I was too wrapped up in my sorrow to notice the change coming, but now that it was here I felt safer in Tara’s arms.
I didn’t want to waste our precious moments together and before I knew what I was doing I had captured Tara’s lips with mine. It was hungry and wild with passion, but it wasn’t about want or lust, just love and comfort. We drank deeply from each other, sending promises of love and devotion through each stroke of our famished lips.
Tara pulled back and looked into my desperate emerald eyes. She brought her hand up to wipe away my tears so tenderly that it almost brought more. Holding my gaze very clearly she whispered “I love you, Willow. We WILL get through this together, I promise.”
“Tara, I love you so much.” My voice broke again and Tara leaned in and closed the gap between us. This was a chaste kiss like the ones that we had shared this morning.
I pulled back temporarily to gaze into her eyes. “I have kissed you a thousand times before in my dreams and in my fantasies, but it doesn’t come close to what it feels like to really be able to kiss you.” I recaptured her lips and softly. It quickly turned into searing kisses.
The tears streaking down my face began to dry up, and though the kisses were still full of love and comfort. I felt my want for her take over my body. I gently began to push Tara backwards, never breaking the kiss, until she landed very gently on the floor.
I lay half way on top her with my right leg hoisted over one of hers. I felt her arms move around from my face to grasp my back pulling me in deeper. I moaned and opened my mouth and gently stroked her bottom with my tongue asking for permission to enter. She immediately complied and we both let out a moan of intense satisfaction as I entered her mouth exploring softly.
I felt a surge of pure want course to the spot between my legs as she captured my tongue with lips and began to suck. I involuntarily bucked my hips against Tara’s leg to try and relieve some of the tension that was building within me.
“Mhmmm Willow.” She broke our kiss and moaned into my ear as her head rolled back and arched her neck upwards. I could tell that she was just as turned on as I was, but it was too soon to take things too far. I tried to regain control of my body and think with my head instead of my libido; it wasn’t working. As soon my lips were pulled away from hers I let them trail down her cheek to her neck. I began to suck with a fiery passion, making a mark on her. Another moan escaped her as I moved to take her lips again.
Unadulterated want coursed through my body and I couldn’t help but want more contact with her. My brain was screaming at me to stop or slow down! We were moving too fast though. Or were we? I had wanted this for so long and so had she. Why couldn’t we take that extra step and bring each other to ecstasy. I couldn’t do it, I wanted to more than anything, but that could wait till I was whole again. I wanted to be able to worship her body entirely without being torn away from her. We would wait. I pulled back just slightly slowing things down a bit.
She wasn’t too happy with this because she pulled me tighter to her. How could I resist her? I had to though, for her. I wanted everything to be special when that moment came and right now things were going too fast. I would lose control if things didn’t cool down soon. Unfortunately, I didn’t have to decide to cool down, fate decided for me.
I felt the familiar pull of the other side as it became colder, the ache to stay, but knowing that I would be gone in mere seconds. I let myself fall back into the rhythm and the heat of the kiss trying desperately to hold on to this reality. I faded away as the kiss ended, leaving Tara alone in darkness on her floor.
Though the time was short like always, it was enough to renew my faith and keep me going. I had to fight for her. I had to fight for us.
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Hope that it was worth the wait!
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