This is my first fic ever. I just wanted to say some things before you read. I’m 13 years old and from Sweden, so some typos and grammatic faults should be expected(As well as lack of knowledge of what it’s like to, oh say, really be a cop)

Anyway, I want feedback, much, much feedback. If you think my writing is terrible, you can tell me, if you wanna give some constructive criticsism, be my guest. Anything to improve my writing.

You should know that I’m a very busy girl,(school, homework, hangin out with friends..) so if you want another update after this one you should tell me, but I can’t promise it’ll be longer than about 1000 words.

And one more thing. I’ve been lurking like crazy since december and finally got the guts to register today.. well, here it goes. Read the fic
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Name:The city of Angels

Author: ContriQ AKA Paow

Rating: PG-13 (For casual swearing, and violence)

Disclaimer: I own everything in this world except BTVS, that belongs to Joss.

Feedback: Hell yeah!

Summary: Willow is a cop in LA, one day she meets a girl with a dark past, they fall inlove and etc. The girl is Tara of course and I of course suck at summaries.

Angst: Though it deals with violence, and stuff I’ll try to make it not so angsty... Can’t promise there won’t be any angst though..

Note: This beginning of a story is not beta:ed or edited.
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Part 1


”So, Willster, didn’t see ya at the bronze last night. Busy screwin’ the girlfriend?” Joked a dark haired man and patted his friends shoulder.

”Shut up Harris. We’ve been on ONE date. And it was god awful. There will be no second date and certainly no screwing.” <[i]And I’m suprised to never have been in a serious relationship at the age of 25. Idiot[/i].>

”Yeah, right. Faith told me you got her all soft.”

”How’d you know that?” <[i]At least acting class was good for something[/i]> She thought.

”Well, lets see... A little thing called a spy cam.” Said Xander with a smirk.

”You are such a nerd.”

”And don’t you forget it.” The boy said and gave away a lopsided grin ”Anyway, speaking of nerds, have you seen Warren? I need to get the reports from yesterdays case.”

”What case? No one told me there was a case?” Willow said worriedly.

”Will, sweetie, we live in LA. There’s always a case.”

”Right, LA, baby. So, what’s the hubhub?”

”I don’t know, that’s why I have to find Meers, he has the reports.”

”Oh, well, last time I saw him was about 10 minutes ago, trying to hook up with Buffy.”

Xander laughed mockingly ”That poor loser. Buffy is just as you, gayer than christmas. Anyway, I’m off to get nerd help”

”See ya Harris.”

*********

The redhead sat in her car and drove around. She glanced at the watch, 9PM. That’s when her round began.


Willow wondered how the people would go asleep at night if they knew all the awful things that really happened at night.


No, she sighed, it was better for them not to know.


She pulled over at a parking spot and walked the rest of the road. She was on her way to the park, where she was supposed to look after a few kids dealing with illegal fireworks.


Pfft, she’d been a cop for years, and all she got was fireworks?

If she could decide, fireworks would be Warren's job and she would get to work with.. she was dragged out of her ‘deep’ thoughts as she heard someone groan. In pain.

Willow turned around, and spotted the alley she had walked past so many times. That was where the noise came from.

She turned on her flashlight and walked down the alley.

As the brave redhead finally reached the end of the alley the noise got clearer. When the light of the flashlight shone on the gound, she noticed someone laying there.

Willow walked closer and saw that it was a woman and that she had been badly beaten.

She checked the pulse, it was weak, but it was there.

Something else the redheaded cop noticed while she took up her phone to call 911 was the womans gorgeous blonde hair, but she had no time to think about that.

TBC!!
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So, what do you think, was it boring? Did I use some words too much? Are the sentances to short or to plain? Did you like it and want more?

TELL ME!!!!!!

Dibs! Haha.
Just wanted to let you know that this has a LOT of possibility, and I'm kinda excited to see where it goes. Yes, there is room for improvement, but some of the worries you express in your note at the top are fine. There's only a few very minor grammar issues, which is better than I can say for so many online fiction writers [and believe me, I've read a LOT of really bad fiction written by native speakers]. I'm looking forward to see what you do with this story, please keep going!

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"Thoroughbreds, both of them, right from the start. One by breeding, the other by heart." - Lines Scrawled on the Floor

Hey!

Welcome to the board!!!

It takes a lot of courage to write your first fic and it's great you put yourself out there!!!

I LOVE that Xander works with Willow and I love that Warren is another nerd they all know! Very imaginative, didn't see that one coming!

Also like how you use humor to let us know that Willow is 25, and has never had a serious relationship. You get a lot of info to us in a way that's entertaining! Good writing!

So, minor glitches: I think you want 'report' which is organized information instead of 'rapport' which is being able to communicate well or feeling a connection with someone. Also, if it belongs to somebody like 'friend's hair' it has an apostrophe. Now that I told you that, let me tell you how good my Swedish is! Okay . . . I can say Ja and that's about it! So I totally admire you for writing so well!

And you're only 13, I never would have guessed that! Seriously, you're amazing!

So, yes! I'm interested in what comes next - so keep writing!!!

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother

Congratulations on being brave enough to post. Your age just adds bonus points since I'm 23 and can't write a creative story to save my life. If you hadn't mentioned that English wasn't your *first* language, I never would have guessed. While it's true that there are a few mistakes (in addition to Arial's suggestions, 'Atleast' is is two words), it's nowhere near as bad as some of the other fics I've read (Usually outside the KB).

As brave-little-toaster said, this has a lot of potential and I look forward to seeing where you take this.

Good luck at school.

_________________
"Not everyone wants to graduate high school at age 16 and college at age 19 and have our first IPO by age 20. Some of us want to waste precious minutes, hours, days, and weeks rotting in front of the TV." - Survivor Ash Island By JustSkipIt

Buffy: Hi. Willow right?
Willow: Why? I mean hi. Did you want me to move?
First sign of adorable Willow "Welcome to the Hellmouth"

Thank you for the feedback.

It's much appreciated!!

Well then, I'll go write an update.. and I'll try to make it longer than the first one.

Oh, and Ariel. Kudos on knowing how to say "Yes" (lol..) No is Nej anyway

Thank yooooou everyone

I think it's amazing that you have the courage to jump in, and express your imagination. I have just started writing last year so I know how nervous I was when I posted my first little bit. I have found that everyone on the board is very helpful.

I am intrigued with how you started your story. I can imagine many great possibilities. I can't wait to see where it goes.

There was one phrase that could be misunderstood...


The way it is written leads me to think he was trying to arrest Buffy. The next few sentences cleared up what you meant. To get across what you wanted to say it might be better like this.

”Oh, well, last time I saw him was about 10 minutes ago, trying to hook up with Buffy.”

Sometimes just one word can change the meaning of what you are wanting to say. you are doing a fantastic job with this. Thank you for sharing your imagination and story.


sapphoselene (kathy)

_________________
Life is created from the imagination. Never let your imagination die.
Darkest Desires
The True Nature of Soulmates
Scarlet Black

Oh, that's true.. Thank you

Part 2

It didn’t take so long for the ambulance to get there, about a minute actually. But to Willow it seemed like forever.


That is why she was extremely relieved when the paramedics finally arrived.


”It this the girl?” One of the paramedics asked as he checked the girls pulse.


”Yes. She’s been unconcious the whole time.” Willow responded and fidgeted worriedly.


”Okay. Are you her sister?” Another guy asked.


”No,” The cop responded ”though I’d be happy to come along with her, if that’s okay for you.”



”Er.. sure, I bet she’ll be glad knowing who saved her.” The paramedic smiled as he placed the girl on a stretcher and with his co-worker rolled her in the ambulance. ”So, are you seeing someone?”



Sighing, the redhead rolled her eyes and sat down in the ambulance. This was gonna be a long drive.


**

Willow sat in the waiting room, waiting and waiting.




She had done almost every crossword in all the magazines when the doctor finally said that the girl, now known as Tara Maclay, was awake, stable, and wanted to know who saved her.




Tara had a few fractures, but just minor ones. Most of her wounds were shallow, but some would unfortunately be scars.



A doctor followed Willow into the room where Tara was lying, and for the first time, green emerald eyes met blue sapphire ones.



Willow was stunned. The womans eyes were amazing, as blue and deep as the ocean.



After what felt like a lifetime of gazing, Tara finally spoke up. ”Hey. S-so you are t-the one who s-s-saved me.” The blonde said, cursing her stutter.



”Yep, that’s me.” Willow said happily. ”Though, I wouldn’t go as far as saved, all I did was call the hospital-” She was interrupted by Tara’s sweet voice.



”That’s what saved me. Many p-people wouldn’t even have found me, or j-just ignored that I was there. B-but you didn’t, and so you saved m-my life. End of s-story.” Tara said and smiled genuinely.



”Fine. I saved you.. wait, what kind of hero am I if I don’t even tell you my name?” Willow blushed ”My name is Willow, Willow Rosenberg.”



Tara looked at the redhead, she thought, but when she saw Willows cheeks go from regular to crimson red she realized that she’d not thought it.



”Oh godess, I s-said that out loud, didn’t I?” Willow nodded, mentally doing a happy dance.



Right then, a nurse walked in, towards Willow ”Miss Maclay, you can come over tomorrow, but right now Tara needs to rest.”

Willow ducked her face when the nurse walked out the room.

”Miss Maclay, huh?” Tara smiled tiredly.

Blushing even more, Willow explained. ”I kind of told them you were my cousin. I really wanted to stay and make sure you were okay. It was either that, or show them my badge.”

”Badge?”

”I’m a cop, that’s me. Willow the cop.”

”Okay, so you’re like a wild cop girl?” Tara joked and gazed at Willow.

”Oh no, I’m not wild. Wild on me equals spaz.”

Tara chuckled, right then, the nurse came in again. ”You can come visit her tomorrow, okay Miss?”

The redhead nodded, as she looked at Tara’s lips moving. She knew the girl was saying something, but she was lost in her eyes.

Willow blinked ”Huh?”

Tara looked funnily at the redhead. ”You do have facebook, right?”

”Oh, yes. Yes I do.”

”Great, when I get outta here I’ll add you.” The blonde said.

The blondes easy way of dealing with being abused by someone did not go unnoticed by the curious cop.

Walking out to her car, that she’d had time to pick up while waiting, she sat in it and began her drive home.


Willow looked at her watch. 00:53AM


Pulling over, she drove to the Bronze instead.


The Bronze was a local dance bar, and it had been the hangout place for Willow and her friends since the first year of high school.



When Willow finally arrived, Xander stood outside and waved at Willow.

”Hey Will. Wazup?” The drunk man asked.

”Nothin’, just here for some dancing time. Anywho, why are ya outside?”

”Dunno, just felt like I needed some air. And here you are. And before you ask, yes, Buffy is inside, and so are Faith and the rest of the gang.”

Willow grinned ”Great.” She stepped out of her car and locked it.

Xander walked Willow to the table where all their friends sat.

”Hey Will, took you long enough to get here.” Buffy said, her arm not moving away from where it was firmly placed, on her girlfriends neck.

”I know. But I saved a life actually, so the round is on me.”

”Bravo Will” Xander cheered ”So, I’m guessing this life you saved is a girl?”

”Yeah. Why?”

The short boy looked at his friend ”Because your smile hasn’t been like that since like for ever. And it can only mean one thing.”

A brown haired girl finished Xander’s sentance ”Willow’s got a serious crush”

*********

TBC

Was this a good update? It’s kinda short, but a bit longer than the first one anyway..

Now I gotta do my homework..

Dibs.

Great update. I'm glad Willow stuck around. I wonder why Tara was so beat up. A poop-head father perhaps?

I know the feeling about . I have finals this week, which means lots of studying.

_________________
"Not everyone wants to graduate high school at age 16 and college at age 19 and have our first IPO by age 20. Some of us want to waste precious minutes, hours, days, and weeks rotting in front of the TV." - Survivor Ash Island By JustSkipIt

Buffy: Hi. Willow right?
Willow: Why? I mean hi. Did you want me to move?
First sign of adorable Willow "Welcome to the Hellmouth"

cant wait to read more. I love it so far

_________________
Wolfie goddess
My love for you is strong

Sorry for delayed updating..

The update got staked, so I had to write a COMPLETELY new one..

Anyway, here comes another update, followed by another that'll come tomorrow (hopefully)

Warning for small cliffhanger.. that I believe won't upset anyone...
*******
A brown haired girl finished Xander’s sentance. ”Willow’s got a serious crush.”
******

Willow turned around to face the woman.

”Hey, Dana. Didn’t think I’d see you here. ” The redhead exclaimed happily


”Same goes for you, sis. ” Answered the almost identical girl.


”So, are you getting set in in that new apartement?” Willows twin sister asked.


”Yeah, I still can’t believe that you paid for that apartement.”


”Will, you needed it. Seriously. The old one was a wreck AND way to small for two.” Xander said, finally dragging his eyes away from a couple of girls he’d been checking out for a while.


Buffy and her girlfriend had quietly snucked their way out to the dancefloor and were engaged in a heavy make-out session.


”So, how’s stuff with Michael?” Willow asked, wondering how life went on for her sister.


Michael was the husband of Dana, he and Dana had been married for three years, and Willow still remembered the huge grin that her sister had worn that day when she visited the redhead.


”He’s doing great, has a new job, again.” Dana sighed. ”God knows he really can’t keep a job. But he’s being british about it. ” Dana grinned as her mind went to a naughty place that involved her, Michael and a british costume party.

”Hey, speaking of nothing, where the heck is Faith? I thought you said she was here?” Willow exclaimed and looked around the club.



”Well,” Xander started ”She was here. But I guess she hooked up with some chick and went home.”


”Aw, poor Faith. She’s still trying to get over Buffy by picking up random girls.” Willow sighed, Faith was completely smitten by the blonde cop, but she tried to prove that she wasn’t by hooking up with everything that moves.



Xander too felt sorry for his friend. ”You’d think Buffy would notice that one of her closest friends is completely, head-over-heels, inlove with her.”



”No, not Buffy. It took her almost a year to figure out *I* was gay. And she herself was gayer than me.”



”Sure Will, keep telling yourself that.” Xander attempted a joke.



”Whatever, but I think I’ll have to call it a night. See ya Harris”



”Bye Willster.” Xander hugged his almost-sister.


”Oh, and Xander, remember to tell Amanda that I need my shedule changed back. These late nights are exhausting.” Willow stopped.


”Plus, I really can’t be away from home during the nights.” Willow went on, really hoping the boy with a goldfish memory would remember to tell Amanda.


”I know. And, I’ll tell Amanda first thing tomorrow.”

On that note, Willow turned and left the club.

A little talk with her friends was better than nothing, she thought as she once again sat down in her car and carefully started it.

When she finally arrived home, she was so tired that she just passed out on the couch.

*****

Meanwhile, in a hospital bed, a girl lying there had thought happy thoughts about a girl with red hair, and gorgeous emerald green eyes before the darkness once again had caugh her in its claws.

That girl in the bed was, as you know, Tara.

The blonde thought and mentally hit herself over and over again.

But it wasn’t daddy who beat you up this time, was it? Oh, who am I kidding, thinking to myself like I’m someone else. It was my fault they beat me up, I know it was. All the beatings, all the wounds, I deserve them, and much more. That’s why they all wanna hurt me..> The blonde continued her ranting into the sleepless night.

*****


BEEP BEEP

”Hey, this is Willow, leave a message.”

”Hi, it’s Kate, I just wanted to know which time I should bring Jessie?”

A sleepy Willow stands up and tries to go to the phone. She succedes, but poorly.

”Hi Kate, I just woke up. But I heard you.”

”Great. So, what time do you want me to bring Jessie?”

”Is 2 PM okay?” Willow asked.

”In two hours? Sure.” Kate lockley answered and hung up.

Two hours..? Willow glanced at her clock on the kitchen table. 12 AM it said.

”Okay..” She said. Suddenly, Willow remembered that she’d forgotten to clean the apartement and buy new groceries.


Hurrying, she cleaned all the rooms and did the dishes. She went to the supermarket and bought new toothpaste among other things and as always, a little something for Jessie.

Smiling, she looked at the clock again. 1:53 it said as she heard the bell ring.



”Coming!” She shouted and ran to the door. She pressed the ‘open’ button for the door at the bottom floor, and opened her door aswell.


Soon, she could hear footsteps in the staircase, and she knew it was Kate and Jessie.


”Hey Willow” Kate said, smilingly.



The little girl grinned widely as she shouted: ”Hi Mama, I missed you soooo much!”


***

Sooo, didn't see that coming huh?


LEAVE FEEDBACK. ALL FEEDBACK IS GOOD, NO, GREAT!

I really really REALLY like this so far!!!!!
Willow as a cop is so cool!

I'm curious about who beat Tara this time and why?
And Willow has a Kid??? And what is Kate than? Her ex?
Oh so many questions, and more in my head ^^

Hope you update soon!
Yours sincerely
Füchsin

Edit:
Ohhh AND DIBS

Hmm, yes, *I'm* wondering who Buffy's girlfriend is, an original character or someone from the shows. I also like bringing in characters from the _Angel_ continuity like Kate. Also curious about whether Dana is an identical twin or not.

I wouldn't normally mention these things but since you asked : 1- "forever" is one word and "waiting room" is two (I'm guessing that, while you've obviously read and written a good bit of English but you're more used to hearing it spoken.) 2- Tara's condition would be "stable" (a "stabile" is a kind of sculpture) 3- "pay" is an irregular verb, at least in spelling; the past tense in spelled "paid" not "payed" 4- and as somebody has already said, use apostrophes to form possessives, not plurals. As somebody else has said, you're doing a lot better than some native speakers.

_________________
Snapshots:http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story
____________________________________________________________
Kim: (breaks off the kissing) I l... (Sue stops her with a hand)
Sue: We don't talk about things like that right after, you know that, no saying those things in The Moment.
Kim: (moves the hand aside) Screw The Moment. I *love* you.

The little girl grinned widely as she shouted: ”Hi Mama, I missed you soooo much!”


Jessie hugged her mother tightly and said ”Can I see my new room?”


Willow nodded, and on that cue, the tiny redhead ran in to her room, knowing where it was because she had with a bright blue pencil written ‘Jessie's room’ on the door.


”God I love that kid.” Kate Lockley exclaimed as she entered the pretty, but cheap apartement.


”Yeah, it’s still hard to believe that she’s eight, almost nine years old. She’s so.. Well, tiny” Willow said, not fully grasping that her daughers ninth birthday was soon coming up, and even sooner Jessie would be fully grown and not even need Willow.

”But she’s incredibly smart for her age.” Said Kate, proud of her niece.

”Yeah, and her smile reminds me of..” Willow got quiet, grief filling her eyes.

”I know you miss him Will, we all do. He was our best friend.”


Willow looked at the blonde, ”I know, I still feel like I did Jesse wrong, I knew he liked me and I acted on it.”

”Willow, look at me. You were sixteen, you had just come out to your parents, and they really didn’t take it well. It’s. Not. Your. Fault He. Died. Get that in your thick skull.”

// ”No, you, my daugher, are not, and most certainly NOT a lesbian.” An angry man shouted through the living room.

A sixteen year old girl was soaked in tears that had begun to fall when she’s seen her moms sickened expression.

”Willow, dear, you can’t be gay. It’s just a phase, or some way of getting attention. You just need to kiss the right boy.” Shelia Rosenberg said to her daughter.

”W-what?” Willow drowned in her salty tears ”But, mom. I thought you would understand. You of all people.”


”Willow, of course I wouldn’t understand. I don’t. Just take a walk and get over it.” Her mom had said.

And that’s what the girl did.


She walked the streets of LA at 11PM, all alone. Suddenly she noticed her friend, Jesse.

This was it, she could prove to herself that she once and for all wasn’t gay. Willow knew Jesse was inlove with her, but for some reason this night, she didn’t think about his feelings. Not even for a second.


”Hi Jesse.” She said to the boy. Jesse’s grin was up to his ears as he and Willow walked to his place.


They spent the night in his bed, doing things, and Jesse never wondered why Willow all of the sudden was intrested in him. He just enjoyed the moment.


To Willow on the other hand, she hadn’t liked the sex part at all. It felt weird, and afterwards she felt dirty and ashamed, like she had used Jessie. Which by the way, she sort of had.


Unfortunately, Jesse, was one week later kidnapped, killed and dumped in a river. That’s why Willow ever became a cop, but Jesse wouldn’t ever know that, or the fact that Willow was pregnant, with his child. //


Dragged out of her thoughts, Willow responded ”Thank’s. But it still feels like it’s my fault.”

Kate sighed, ”Damn, you’re worse than Dana.”

Willow blinked. ”You are joking, right?”

”Uh, no.” The police officer said.

”Oh, come on!” Willow pouted ”It’s bad enough everyone called me Dana number two in kindergarden because we looked just like each other.”


”Will, you still look like each other.”


”Well, rub it in why don’t ya.” Willow said, wiping away fake tears.
”But Dana has long curly brown hair, and I have medium lenght red hair. Not that alike if you think about it.”


”Whatever.” Kate sighed, when the redhead had her resolve face on there was nothing to argue about.


”MAMA!” A tiny yet strong voice called.


”What is it baby girl?”


”I forgot Miss Kitty at Kitty's!!” The girl shouted, Kate being called Kitty was one of the many quirks the little girl posessed.



TBC!!! Will Jessie find her Kitty? Give feedback and you might find out.

I have mixed feelings about fics which make totally separate characters from the show into relatives ; this is one version I like.

_________________
Snapshots:http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story
____________________________________________________________
Kim: (breaks off the kissing) I l... (Sue stops her with a hand)
Sue: We don't talk about things like that right after, you know that, no saying those things in The Moment.
Kim: (moves the hand aside) Screw The Moment. I *love* you.

Hey,

Good to get another update. Loved this line:

Love the phrase "the boy with a golfish memory" - Original, effective and funny!

Willow's coming out to her parents was rough to read and sex out of sadness and fear, very real.

Minor notes: Los Angeles should be abbreviated to LA not La, use an apostrophe for things like Willow's hair, Jesse's room, etc. And hey, thanks for encouraging me on my Swedish! I should have remembered Nej for no; I heard Ingrid Bergman say it when I watched "Muder on the Orient Express!" (fun movie)

The main thing I'm seeing is a set of interesting characters that I find myself caring about - good job!

"Miss Kitty and Kitty's" - very cute!

Keep writing!

Ariel

DaddyCatALSO: Well, hehe, I'm glad you like it.

Ariel: That's why I thought the whole last line was a bit weird. Amazing how one little detail can make a whole sentance hard to read.. for me anyway. Thanks


Edited because I appearently can't spell the word "Detail"

[size=150]I'm bored.. here's another tiny update..

”I forgot Miss Kitty at Kitty’s!!” The girl shouted, Kate being called Kitty was one of the many quirks that the little girl posessed.
------
Part 5

”Aw munchkin’, ” Kate said. ”You know what? I’ll drive home and get it for you. I’ll be back before you know it.

The redheaded girl’s eyes sparkled with joy. ”Yay!” Jessie shouted as she tugged her mothers shirt, asking for permission to watch TV.

”Sure baby girl. A movie or just TV?”

”Just TV.” The girl answered smugly, her mother being completely oblivious to what she watched on TV and why. ”You can go sit in your room and write the things that you write sometimes, okay mama?”



”Well, okay.” Willow answered, remembering her conversation with Tara. And the mentioning of facebook. ”If you want something, you know where to find me.”



As Willow said that, Jessie disappeared into the livingroom. The redheaded cop opened the door to her room, and pressed the on button to her old yet fashionable computer.



The button glowed in a bright blue colour as the computer screen said ”Welcome to Windows 98”


Willow heard soft giggles from the living room and suddenly it struck her.


Meanwhile, a tiny redhead was watching TV. But not any TV-show, this evil little eight year old rule-breaker was watching a show her mother had strictly forbidden her of watching because it gave her nightmares and crazy ideas.

The girl thought while grinning sheepishly.

The TV-shows name was Sarah The Vampire Slayer.

And the reason for Jessie not being allowed to watch Sarah The Vampire Slayer was because she had gotten a huge fear of well almost everything, being afraid that her nightmares would come through and that the world always was about to end.



Jessie laughed at all the jokes, even though she didn’t understand them. The only real reason she watched the show was because of Charisma.

Charisma was, obvious to everyone but Willow, Jessie’s first crush. The girl thought as she sighed.

That Charisma was a bitch extraordinarie didn't Jessie understand. She just enjoyed looking at her.
***

”Jessie, it’s lunch time!” Willow called softly and waited for her daugher to get to the kitchen table.


"Okay mama." The girl called and ran into the kitchen.

"So, baby girl-" Willow was interrupted by her daughers voice.

"Stop calling me baby girl, I'm eigh years old you know! And I'm already in the fifth grade!!" The girl exclaimed proud and annoyed by the fact that her mother thought she was little.

"I know, should I call you 'big girl' then?"

"Yes." The girl muffled, her mouth stuffed with pork and potatoes.

"Well," The redhead smirked. "If you're a big girl you can have two whole carrots."

Jessie gulped, and took two carrots on her plate. And to Willows suprise, the girl finished her whole plate.


After a nice lunch, Kate finally arrived, with a stuffed toy-cat and to Jessie's joy, Nathalia.


Nathalia was Kate Lockley's daughter, who just had turned five this month.

"Hi Natha, wanna see my new room?"

The shy girl nodded and took Jessies hand as she followed Jessie to her room.



To other people Nathalia seemed weird, because she wouldn't speak when she was in the company of grown ups other than her mother.


This had been very hurtful for Nathalia's dad, since he couldn't begin to understand why his own daughter didn't want him to push her in the trolley, or tell him what she'd done in pre-school.


The truth was just that Nathalia was a bit more sensative than others, and just needed more help and support than the average kids her age.

But, however, the few moments when Nathalia was happy enough to come out and play, she always wanted to play with Jessie. Those moments made the Jessie feel very special and chosen.


Kate smiled proudly at her daughter who finally had come out to do something else than just eat or get hugs from her mommy.
"Is it okay if I let her be here for a while?"

"Of course. I know she adores Jessie. Jessie is like a big sister to her."

"I know what you mean. You know, If I remember correctly we were kind of just like that. Remember when you, me, Xander and Jesse used to play in our treehouse?"

"Yeah, that was fun." Willow said.


The two friends sat down and had a coffee, watched their children play with Willow's uniform.

That day went really fast, and that day became two days, and soon, a two weeks had passed.

Without Willow hearing anything from Tara.

It was in the middle of May, Jessie was in school and Willow had a day of when the redhead noticed a friend request on facebook.

A girl named Tara Maclay wanted to add her on facebook.


... TBC,

I promise there will be real person Tara in the next part.

GIVE ME FEEDBACK OR I'LL BECOME EVIL!!!

/Paow

Has everyone gone dead or is the update really that bad? If it is I'll write a completely new one.

I myself think this is a bad part, I dunno why, it's just weird to read..

Anyway people, give me FEEDBACK.

It's called FEEDback for a reason. It feeds me!!! Do you want me to die?

Cute kids, sneaky Jessie and insecure Natha.

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Snapshots:http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story
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Kim: (breaks off the kissing) I l... (Sue stops her with a hand)
Sue: We don't talk about things like that right after, you know that, no saying those things in The Moment.
Kim: (moves the hand aside) Screw The Moment. I *love* you.

I am thinking that people are not feed backing as much as the used to. I am enjoying this story, keep it up. And when you feel nobody is reading, look at the number to the right.

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Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

Only just got round to reading this fic and i have to say it's great. I love the different mix of characters from both shows and Jessie and Nathalia are absolutley adorable.

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Matty- Lovers Dearest, Falling in love at christmas A trip through time thinking about the verse

Tara: I am, you know.
Willow: What?
Tara: Yours.
Who are You

Hey! I'm sorry, I JUST caught up with the updates. It's really interesting, partially because it's got an interesting and slightly different plotline, and partially because with each chapter, your writing style evolves a little more. Keep going! :]

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"Thoroughbreds, both of them, right from the start. One by breeding, the other by heart." - Lines Scrawled on the Floor

One big update coming up It's the longest one so far
And as always.. FEEDBACK PEOPLE, FEEDBACK!

Willows face beamed as she quickly accepted the request, while giving a quick glance to the girls adorable profile picture.


Without the bruises Tara was even prettier than WIllow imagined, and her eyes were as blue as the ocean.



Suddenly, Willow noticed that Tara was online, the redhead thought for a minute about writing something to her, but she took to long, because Tara had alreade written something.


Tara Maclay: Hi!

Willow Rosenberg: Hi Tara, feeling better?

Tara Maclay: Yes, I just got out yesterday, the doctors were all ‘Stay another day, and another day’ If I hadn’t said something I bet they’d had me there forever.

Willow Rosenberg: Oh, glad you’re okay though.

Tara Maclay: Thank you. You’re the first friend I’ve made since I moved here. You are my friend right? *worried*

Willow Rosenberg: Yes, you should know that I’m very friendly, and I’d really like to be it, your friend that is.

Willow Rosenberg: You’ve just experienced my babble. I do that sometimes. If it annoys you let me know.

Tara Maclay: No, I think it’s kind of cute that you do it when you write too. I stutter a lot, so I know what it feels like when people think you’re annoying.


Willow Rosenberg: Okay :/ Hey, not to be all intrude-y but how come you were all beaten up in an alley?


Tara Maclay: Well, for starters I was outside way to late, and I just bumped in some teens who wanted me to buy alcohol for them and when I said no, they kind of started to take out their anger on me.

Willow Rosenberg: Bastards! I’m sorry!

Tara Maclay: Don’t be sorry for me, I’m used to it.

Tara Maclay: Forget I said that.


(five minutes later)
Tara Maclay: Hello? Where’d you go?

Tara sighed

But, she was dragged out of her dark thoughts by a little ‘pling’ noise.


Willow Rosenberg: Sorry, my daughter Jessie’s teacher just called, she’s sick and I have to go pick her up from school.


Tara Maclay: Oh, I’m sorry. Hope she gets better! Bye!


Willow Rosenberg: Bye!

Willow Rosenberg is offline.



Willow beamed, happy to finally have talked to Tara. (In a writing way)

The redhead walked to her car, unlocked it and sat down. Just then the worry over Jessie flushed over her like a hundred feet wave on a beach as she drove to her daughters school.


Jessie was almost never sick, and when she was, you barely could tell that she was.

Five minutes later, Willow stepped out of her car and walked to the entrance of the Clover Avenue Elementary school.


Outside there were some kids playing ball, and a few were climbing in tree’s as the school bell called in for class, again. Sighing, the children walked in.


Willow watched this as she opened a door and walked inside, to pick her daugher up.


She knocked at one of the doors, and a teacher opened. ”Hi miss Rosenberg, Jessie is over here. Jessie, your mom is here.”


Jessie smiled groggily as she said ”Hi mama, can we go home now?”


”Yes sweetheart.” Willow took her daughters hand and lead her out to the car.

”Want me to put your seatbelt on?” The tiny redhead nodded.


”Okay baby girl, we’re going to drive home now. Tell me if you’re feeling sick or yucky in your tummy, okay?”

But the redhead didn’t answer, she was already sound asleep. That’s why Jessie didn’t notice when her mother quietly carried her up to the third floor and put her in her to bed.


”Sleep tight baby girl” Willow whispered as she snucked into her own room.

Glancing at her computer, she decided to go on facebook for a while.

And immedately, Tara said hi.

Willow Rosenberg: Hi Tara. Again.. Heh heh

Tara Maclay: Is your daughter all right?

Willow Rosenberg: Yeah, she’s sleeping now though, but I guess she’ll be almost fully restored tomorrow already.

Tara Maclay: That’s good. I have to say, I didn’t take you for a person with a kid. Not that I thought there was anything wrong with you, cause I didn’t.

Willow Rosenberg: Heey, look who’s babbling now!

Tara Maclay: lol.

Willow Rosenberg: Hey, not to seem all stalker-y, but where do you live? You said you hadn’t made so many friends and I just assumed you just moved in here so I just wanted to know.

Tara Maclay: If you can say that much in real life without a break I’ll give you a buck. And yes, I just moved here. I live near Maestro’s pizza parlor, Hamilton street. and you?

Willow Rosenberg: No way, I live at Hamilton street too! Which building?


Tara Maclay: 32, u?

Willow Rosenberg: 39!! We live pretty close. How come we’ve never met?


Tara Maclay: Dunno, maybe we have and didn’t notice.


Willow Rosenberg: Hell no, there’s no way I walked past you without noticing your eyes.


Tara Maclay: My eyes? *confused*


Willow Rosenberg: They’re so.. Pretty. And really blue!


Tara Maclay: Thank u Crap, my computer session is over in five minutes.


Willow Rosenberg: Computer session?


Tara Maclay: I’m at the library, I don’t own a computer. And I can just sit one hour per day.


Willow Rosenberg: Okay. Hey, I could call you. Do you have a cellphone?


Tara Maclay: Yeah. My phone-number is 073-65-875-23.


Willow Rosenberg: Okay


Tara smiled, she finally had a friend. She just hoped that when, and if, she told her some stuff about her past that she wouldn’t scare the girl off.

Finally, after what seemed like for ever, Tara’s phone started vibrating.

”Hey s-stranger” Tara answered confidently.

”Hi Tara.” Willow said quietly, shyness getting the best of her. ”So, what have you been up to today?”


”N-nothing much, just r-reading all day, a-almost all day.” She corrected herself.


”Sounds nice. I used to read tons of books every day, but now I can’t seem to find the time to do that. Well, unless you count the thousands of children’s books that I’ve read.”


Tara chuckled lightly and Willow could sense her smiling. ”So Tare, is it okay if I call you that?” Willow asked, followed by a quick ”Y-yes.”

”So, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come over for a coffee or something, seeing as we live so close. Unless you have some kind of germ fear, since Jessie is sick, but you already know that so I’ll just shut my mouth now, okay?.”

Tara giggled. ”Wow, how c-can you t-talk that much w-w-without taking any brakes?”

”I took ’babbling like an idiot’ 101 in college, got an A+” Willow joked.

”O-okay.” Tara smiled, Willow was one special girl. ”And y-yes, I’d love to c-come. Should I come now or..?” The blonde girl asked.
”Sure, I live in apartement number 14 on the third floor.”


”Okay, bye” Tara’s grin was up to her ears, she was gonna go over to Willow’s place.

It hadn’t taken a long time for Tara to melt the fact that Willow had a daughter, because Tara really adored kids.


The blonde speculated about what Willow would be if she got to know her more, as she walked the short way to Willow’s place.


She took the stairs up to the third floor, because her childhood fear of riding in elevators got the best of her this time. There was no mistaking in which door that belonged to Willow, obviously it was the one with a welcome sign that said ”Here live Willow Rosenberg and Jessica Rosenberg”

Huh, Jessica must be Jessie’s full name.

Tara knocked at the brown wooden door three times, and ten seconds later the gorgeous redhead opened the door, and once again green emerald eyes met the blue sapphire ones.'
**
Mohahaha I'm ending it right there

I know it's spelled breaks or whatever but I'm just to lazy to fix it right now.. It's not spelled brakes and that's for sure.

I love it x3. Its so adorable. Keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next part.

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Wolfie goddess
My love for you is strong

Hey there,

Just wanted to offer a bit of feedback since I haven't been too good at that of late. I find myself enjoying this fic immensely, but Willow really need to help Tara over that guilt trip she's on on (and the other way round too!). Looking forward to getting to know little Jessie more, seems adorable! Very realistic way of bringing a child into Willow's life by the way, well done!

Looking forward to more!

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My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends
~The Show Must Go On by Queen

THAT WAS SO CUTE
I really like how fast they're getting closer! Maybe there'll be some by accident lol

wolfiegoddess: I'm already typing like crazy

Nenyath: Yeah, I don't like to write Tara that depressed either, but it's fun with the progress.

Füchsin: Well, heheheh, maybe there will? love your name btw, germany for the win.. lol..

AAH, FUCK FUCK FUCK -.-

The update died.. AGAIN!!!! -.-

This is the last fucking time I'm using my damn laptop. It dies like ALL the time. And even though I've saved the update.. it's gone. poof, doesn't exist. Sorry, but it will be delayed with like a year because I have to kill my computer.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really? Please don't