|
This is a story I started back in 2005, when I was 15. Until two days ago I hadn't looked at in probably 2 or 3 years. I've done minor editing to try to improve continuity and smooth a few things out, but I've mostly kept the story as it was. The last chapter so far is one I wrote yesterday, so I hope it will fit well with the rest of the story despite the more than 4 years between it and the preceding chapter. Life's a bit hectic right now, but I seem to be writing rather than dealing with it so there will probably be more soon.
Title: Twist of Fate
Author: Jas/CrazyTaraWitch
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. I own nothing. The story is my own creation, but the characters and place belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox, and so forth. No infringement intended.
Rating: PG to PG-13 so far
Spoilers: I changed details of the plot from throughout the series, but I guess I kept some things the same up through early season 6. However, any important background will be thoroughly explained in the story.
Summary: It's Willow's wedding day, but the bride's not sure she should go through with, and maybe the world's not either...
Feedback: Please! I’d love to here what y’all think! --But please be kind, I’m still fairly new at this!
Note: Jenny Calendar and Joyce Summers are both alive. This has had very little influence on the story so far and I no longer recall why I wrote it this way, except that I like their characters.
Note 2: Flashbacks in italics, Tara's thoughts in << >>, Willow's thoughts in < >.
Chapter 1: Preperations
“I’m okay, really. I mean, this is the happiest day of my life right? Of course I’m happy, I mean, I’d have to be crazy not to be...right?” the redhead asked her best friend, tears stinging her hazel-green eyes and threatening to spill over.
“Well, yeah, I guess...but you are happy, right? So what’s it matter that you’d have to be crazy to not be happy? You’re marrying the man you love, any woman would be thrilled to be in your shoes!” the small blonde woman insisted to her friend of ten years.
“I don’t know about that...most people probably wouldn’t want to be wearing tennis shoes with their wedding dress...I just can’t wear that fancy stuff. You don’t think that the priest’ll, like, check our shoes or something, do you!??” Willow asked worriedly, beginning to hyperventilate. “Oh God, and-and then, he’ll-he’ll see I haveS the wrong kind, and-and he won’t let me get married. Oh God Buffy, I need different shoes!”
“Will, calm down!” Buffy commanded her best friend, only keeping her still by using her Slayer powers to physically hold the slightly larger woman. “You look gorgeous! No one will notice the shoes, they’ll be too busy looking at your beautiful body.” the blonde attempted to assure her best friend, only causing more distress.
“Oh God, that’s right. Ya know, this is gonna sound crazy, but I-I never thought about the fact that everyone’s gonna be looking at me...I mean, me! I-I, I don’t think I can take having all their eyes on me! I, I’m not like you; I’m not beautiful, people don’t want to look at me! I...I’m not sure I can do this.” the red head admitted, finally completely breaking and flopping onto her bed as she finally let herself cry, the tears acting like a glue, causing her shoulder-length, recently curled red hair to stick to her face, making her look rather atrocious, despite the flowing white dress that hung loosely over her breasts and billowed out around her hips and legs, ending in a flowing train that now crumpled in a circle around her.
“Of course you’re beautiful! Willow, look at yourself; you’re gorgeous! Besides, aren’t you the one that’s always telling my little sister that looks don’t matter? I mean, god, I thought she was going to die from embarrassment when she got her braces until you talked to her. You told her that as long as she felt pretty, everyone else would see her that.”
“Yeah, I guess... It’s just, that was Dawnie... It’s easy to say that stuff about someone else, but, it-it’s me...” Willow trailed off, not really sure what she was trying to say.
“Will, is there something you want to tell me? Cause by now I think I know you pretty well, and if it were just worrying about your appearance, you wouldn’t be this freaked out. So what Will, what’s wrong? You know you can talk to me.” Buffy told her best friend, giving her a reassuring smile.
“I-I just don’t know Buffy...” the red head muttered as tears ran down her cheeks, ruining the make up.
Unsure what to do but senscng that Willow needed something from her, Buffy wrapped a comforting arm around the redhead’s shoulders as she would have Dawn, and cradled her best friend while rocking back and forth, as if she were holding a baby instead of her 25-year-old best friend that was one of the most grown-up people she knew.
“It’s okay Will...it’s okay if you’re not ready. We all love you, and that’s not gonna change for any of us if you decide this isn’t what you want. When Anya left Xander at their first wedding, all of us were they for her, we didn’t judge, and we won’t judge you. Plus, look how happy they are now. Anya knew they weren’t ready then, and if that’s how you feel now, I’ll support your decision--any decision--100 percent.”
“Um, guys?” a tall young woman recently turned 20 with long brown hair put up in a bun on top of her head, just barely starting to show her pregnancy through the long blue silky dress flowing around her tall figure, called as she hesitantly poked her head into the room.
“What is it Dawn, now’s not a great time?” Buffy asked her little sister, knife edge to her voice, and a warning look in her now-blazing hazel eyes.
“Oh, uh...I wanted tell you the limo’s here. The wedding starts in like, a half hour, so...I’ll just go tell Anya and Emma.” Dawn said as she beggan to turn and leave, not wanting invoke the Slayer’s wrath.
“We’ll, uh...we’ll be out in a minute Dawnie. You guys can go ahead in get in if you want. Buffy and I just have to finish...getting ready.” Willow attempted to reassure her psuedo-sister with a weak smile, sitting up the bed she had slept for the last two years, and before that had belonged to the once-teen now standing before her as a beautiful young woman, soon to be a mother.
As Dawn turned to leaved, she suddenly spun around, ran to Willow, gave the witch a hug and an understanding smile, turned, and left the room once more.
“So, I guess you’ve made up your mind then? You’re sure that you want to do this?” Buffy asked her best friend as the redhead began to clean her face, and then began to grab at make-up. “Here, let me do that.” tthe blond suggested, taking the mascara from Willow for fear that, in her distress, the woman would put it on as lipstick, and no bride should go to her wedding with black lips.
“I-I...I don’t know Buffy; I guess, I just wish there could be some kind of sign, ya know? I just...I wish I knew for sure that getting married wasn’t a mistake.” Willow said without looking at Buffy, as if afraid that her best friend would see something shameful in her eyes; something like fear.
“I know Will, I know. But this world is scary sometimes, we just have to live with. You have to take chances; there isn’t always a right and a wrong answer. You just have to make a decision: is it worth the risk? Cause that’s all that matters. It’s impossible to know if things are going to work out or not; sometimes you just gotta have faith.”
“I know Buffy, I just...I never thought it would be this hard; I always just assumed that I would know when it was right; and I guess, I just don’t feel like I know, and that scares me, so I guess I’m just looking for the universe to tell me that I made the right choice....But I guess all that I can do is hope, hope that I made the right choice, or that I can find a sign before I make a mistake, if that’s what getting married today would be.”
“Hoping is good. You're good with the hoping.” Buffy observed. "That hope thing... Never exactly been my strong suit, but for today I will be your helpful-Buffy-hoper, so let's stay optomistic and let's go get married!" The Slayer finished enthusiastically before giving her best friend a big squeeze. Buffy grabbing Willow's hand, pulled up her best friend, and together thay walked out to meet the new day, and a new life....
Chapter 2: Ex-Demons Will Be Demons
“I’m happy.” Anya announced plainly as she sat in the limo next to Dawn and Emma, with Willow and Buffy across the seat, each looking out their respective windows. A three-year-old was sitting on her lap, the poofy bright-pink dress she picked out herself clashing wonderfully with the deep blue of her mother's and aunts' bride's maid's dresses, twiddling with her recently braided light brown hair and looking both excited and nervous at the prospect of being a flower-girl for the first time. “I just love weddings. And this will be a real one, not like the lesbo ceremony I last went to.” The ex-demon said with her typical finess, glancing at the two women next to her cheerfully, and then acting shocked and hurt at the reasonably outraged chorus of “Hey!”s from all four other women in the limo. From immediately next to her Dawn yanked on her hair as hard as she could before turning to her even angrier wife and gently carresing her hands, in an attempt to calm the notoriously over-protective woman.
“You know Anya, if that’s the way you felt, you didn’t have to go.” Emma said pointedly, glaring around the brunette that lay between her and her target, a feral edge to the young redhead’s voice but managing to otherwise keep her temper in check.
“Oh yes I did,” Anya replied matter-of-factly. “Xander threatened to withhold orgasms. Not that he didn’t have his own share of lesbian jokes, let me tell ya...” Anya trailed off with a look of joyful longing.
“What’s a wesbian, Mommy?” the girl asked her mother curiously, wriggling out of the woman’s grip to look her in the eye.
“Well Megan, a lesbian is a woman who gets her orgasms from other women. Like your Aunt Dawnie and Aunt Emmy here. And even your Auntie Willow used to be a lesbian.” Anya said smuggly, glad for a chance to show her knowledge of earth ways to someone even less experienced than herself. Megan had already learned to stop listening when Mommy talked about orgasms because it was always very confusing and made the other grown ups uncomfortable and grumpy, so began to play with the large white bow on the front of her dress.
“Anya, I was never, a, a lsebian!” Willow protested with fierce aggrevation. “It...it was just that one time, with that one person...”
“Oh, sure it was...I saw the way you two used to look at eachother; you were so clearly having sex!” Anya practically huffed.
“Anya,” Buffy warned, “this is Will’s weddingday. Anyone who upsets her will have to answer to me.” The Slayer said evenly and calmly. “Furthermore, anyone who causes me to rip this dress while pummeling them will have to pay for the entire wedding.” As the blonde woman contemplated both getting to beat the ex-demon and making her give up large sums of her precious money, a smile slid slowly across her face, and she turned eagerly towards her best friend.
“Ooh, oh, can I Willow, can I? Pleeeeeease!!!” Buffy asked the red-head pleadingly.
“Buffy, Anya’s just...being Anya. If you didn’t pummel her for discussing different types of orgasms at Christmas dinner in front of your mother and 14 year old sister, you shouldn’t pummel her now.” Willow rationalized with her best friend, recognizing all too well the violent cliff the Slayer stood on the edge of and was ready to fly over any moment if her power wasn’t reigned in.
“You’re no fun,” Buffy pouted as she slunched down in her seat and looked out her window once more.
As the limousine grew quiet once more, the bride-to-be found herself left alone with less-than-pleasant thoughts. Everytime she thought of what she was about to do, and who with, she felt like she couldn’t breath...and the lastthing she’d needed to hear today was Anya, talking about ...her.... Willow had up to that point succesfully suppressed all thoughts of the only other person she’d ever been in love with, but now, all she could do was picture the beautiful blonde she had once felt so unbelievably connected to...and have to imagine never feeling that connection again.
Chapter 3-- Enter the cat
A little black and white cat ran out into the road, glad to be out for the first time since she broke her front leg falling out of a tree during a storm three weeks ago. She was so caught up in the idea of seeing her best friend again that she didn’t even see the limousine coming, as it rounded the corner, swerved to avoid her, and ran straight into a light pole....
Part 2: Change Of Plans
Chapter 1--Accidents...
“Miss Kitty!” A young blonde woman cried as ran to her cat, picked her up, and cradled her protectively. “Mama told you not to run off like that baby.” She murmured softly as she truned around and started walking back towards her house, stopping dead in her tracks as she saw the limousine smashed into the pole in front of her next door neighbor’s. “Oh my Goddess...” The woman whispered as she began to run to the vehicle, her long hair falling loose from its bun and around her shoulders like she’d worn it many years before.
“Everybody okay?” Buffy asked everyone once the limo had settled and she’d had time to catch her breath.
“Yeah, I, I think I’m all right...” Willow offered hesitantly as she rubbed her arm in attempt to determine whether or not it had broken when she was slammed into the door to her left.
“We’re okay, right sweetie?” Anya said with false assurance, looking worriedly at her now sobbing daughter, who merely nodded in return, prompting Anya to look at the Slayer and nod solemnly as she squeezed her little girl close to her chest.
“My neck hurts a little from jerking forward so hard, but other than that I’m okay. What about you Dawnie?” Emma asked as she rubbed her neck and turned toward her wife. After a breathless thirty seconds, the redhead whispered “Dawn?” in a quavering pleading voice completely out of character for the usually fierce and aggressive young woman.
Just as a tear slid down Emma’s cheek and she patted her love’s hand comfortingly, she was startled by Anya saying loudly “Dawn, come on get up! You, you can’t just... go away.”
“Is okay mommy, Auntie Dawn’ll be allwight... won’t she Aunt Emma?” Megan said hopefully as she turned to her Aunt, and accepted the woman’s unspoken invitation to climb into her lap.
“Sweetie, I...” Emma trailed off tearfully as she tried to calm herself down to talk to her niece. “I don’t really know.” The woman admitted as she looked down into the innocent face before her, suddenly finding herself unable to lie to the trusting little girl before her. “I don’t know... I don’t now if she’s gonna be ok. But she has to be, I need her to be; I can’t do this without her, I need her, so much, and our baby... Damn it Dawn, come back to me!” Emma sobbed as her sorrow and fear turned into anger, an emotion much more familiar and easier to deal with for the young woman.
“Calm down, Emma.” Buffy commanded gently as she went over to her sister-in-law. “Don’t worry, she’s still breathing; all we have to do is get a phone and call for an ambulance. Everything’s going to be all right, I’ll make sure of it; you’re not the only one who loves her.” Buffy added comfortingly as she squeezed the red head’s hand, quickly turning away to wipe her own eyes and hold in her emotions. The Slayer couldn’t afford to break down; not now, not when her sister needed her. Not when they all needed her.
“Um, Buffy? How are we gonna call an ambulance? None of us have cellphones, and the church is still miles away.” Willow reminded them all as she spoke up for the first time in several minutes.
“We’ll just have to go up to one of these houses and ask to borrow somebody’s phone; besides one of them is bound to have noticed the crash. Come on, it’s about time we all got out of this car. One of us should stay with Dawn though till the ambulance comes; it’s probably not a good idea to move her.” Buffy spoke up once more, going into action mode despite her fear.
“I can stay. I like observing sick people; it’s really fascinating, especially if the person’s dying.” Anya said excitedly, causing Emma and Buffy to glare. “I wanna stay wiff Aunt Dawnie.” Megan said confidently, making it clear that no one was going to take her away from her favourite aunt.
“I think I’ll stay too...I don’t think that I can charm people right now. I kinda just wanna sit her, try to calm myself down, and worry.” Emma decided, causing no surprise to anyone in the limo, since she never cared to leave her wife.
“All right then Will, come on.” Buffy said to her best friend as she opened the door. “First we’ll find a phone and call 911. After that we’ll call the church to tell everybody; I’m sure Mom, Giles, and Xander will want to rush to the hospital right away. They’ll probably even beat us there.” The Slayer recited the game plan as she climbed out of the vehicle and held the door open for Willow.
As the young blonde woman walked towards the limousine, she slowed to watch two very familiar forms emerge. As she realized who the women were she practically ran towards the smashed vehicle, more worried than at any other point in her life, not for herself, but for her love...
Chapter 2- The End of Forever
Slowly, the young blonde approached the limousine, and hearing her footsteps, the redhead whom she’d loved for seven years turned towards her, causing Tara’s heart to leap in a way she never thought it would again after that night when all her hopes and dreams had come crashing down...
As a 21-year-old Tara walked into her dorm that she shared with her love, an anxious smile spread across her face, knowing that in a few hours, Willow would return from England, where she’d gone with Dawn, Buffy, Anya and Xander for Giles’ wedding, which she had been unable to attend due to an unavoidable exam, and they would get to bring in New Year together, as had been their tradition since they’d met and fallen in love more than three years before, and despite all the problems the two witches had been having lately, Tara had no doubt in her mind that Willow’s return and the start of a new year would put everything back to the way it should be.
Entering the bedroom she and Will shared, a slight grimace flickered as her deep pools of blue landed on the last magic book Willow had used before she’d left. <> As the young witch pushed her fears away, she slid off her jacket and laid on her bed, knowing that the next time she did so, she would have more than dreams of her lover to comfort her...
Small creamy hands caressed her, rubbing her in all the right places, sliding off her tight-fitting purple sweater and then her skimpy black bra that WIllow loved so much, and finally starting to massage her breasts. As nimble fingers began to tease her nipples Tara let out a moan, but when she rolled over to kiss her lover hello she opened her eyes and found herself alone. <
As Tara entered the realm of consciuosness, dissatisfied by the emptiness beside her, she sat-up and looked at the clock, blinking a few times before the numbers came into focus. <<2 a.m. ... X-Xander should’ve dr-dropped Willow off h-hours ago! Oh G-Goddess, I hope n-nothing’s wr-wrong, mabye sh-she was just t-tired, and decided to s-sleepover...I’ll j-just call X-xander, I’m s-sure everything’s ok.>> She got up from the bed frantically, fearing what might be happening to her love, and forcing herself to stay calm, doing her best to push away the bad thoughts and simply focus on calling her friends to make sure everything was alright.
As Tara entered her living room, she stopped dead in her tracks as she noticed the redheaded figure lying curled-up on the couch. “W-Willow,” Tara breathed out in a sigh half of relief, half bewilderment. <> As Tara’s thoughts began to overwhelm her, she used the last of her energy to focus on waking her love so she could learn the truth, because she simply couldn’t handle guessing anymore.
Before Tara could even open her mouth, she noticed Willow tossing and turning, clearly not at ease with the world. Her first instinct was to reach out and touch her lover in comfort, but even before her hand left her side, she pulled back, flooded with anger; if nothing was wrong, why hadn’t Willow woken her--and if something was wrong, why hadn’t she confided in her?
Conflicted and confused, Tara sat down on the arm of the couch to think. Her mind flipped back and forth for several minutes, but finally Tara decided whatever was up, Willow clearly thought it could wait till morning, and she wasn’t really anxious to know anyway, because whatever it was, it made Willow not want to be with her, and Tara didn’t want to know about anything that could do that...
The rest of Tara’s night’s sleep was just as restless as Willow’s had appeared to be, and so at six-thirty she was sick of simply laying in bed worrying and doing nothing, and got out of bed.
Her first priority was to get her morning tea, without which she was useless, especially with so little sleep, but whilst waiting for the water to boil, Tara took down her 2001 siamese kittens calendar off the wall, and replaced it with the 2002 border collie puppies calendar she had bought Willow for Christmas. From where she stood a few feet away examining the new calendar for the next twelve months, Tara only half-acknowledged the whistling of her tea kettle, but Willow was brought unpleasantly from the light sleep that was all Willow had been able to manage in her distressed state.
As Tar finally went to the stove and began to pour herself a mug of the steaming homemade herbal brew, Willow was brought more fully into the world of the waking, the memories of the decision she had made in England flood back to her like the pain of a knife stabbing her through the heart.
Will thought as she began to sit up on the couch,
<> Tara wondered frantically, finally deciding she would leave it only until Willow brought it up. <> As Tara felt the first tear sliding down her cheek, she forced the dismal thoughts out of her mind, and with a shaking hand and a forced smile, Tar poured her love a mug-full of hot tea and walked to couch, scared to death of what she might hear when she got there.
Willow took a deep breath as she saw her beloved coming towards her, a sad look in her eyes, and her heart broke again at the thought of how much she was about to hurt the woman she loved...
Tara was brought back to the present with a jolt when she found beloved green eyes staring at her for the first time in years, taking her breath away as they always had so long ago.
Chapter 3- Surprises
"Oh Goddess..."
"Will, focus, we've gotta find a phone, come on!" The Slayer said as she used her strength to drag her friend a few feet before a surprisingly strong force--Willow, she realized--stopped her.
"Buffy..." the red-head trailed off, unable to say more as she watched Tara, the woman she had never let herself dream she would see again after that night four years ago, run towards her, back into her life. In that moment, Willow wanted nothing more than to run herself--not away, not toward the man she was supposed to be marrying, but towards this woman she had loved so deeply and so desperately. She wanted nothing more than to press those soft full lips against hers, to mold their bodies together, to feel that completeness she had been without for far too long.
Just as she began to move forward, Willow felt a weight on her arm, felt Buffy holding onto her, anchoring to the present...and in the present, Dawn was hurt, and she was getting married, and she had neither the time nor the luxury to delve into day-dreams...And so she simply stood there, watched as Tara came toward her, came back to her, and Willow realized in that moment that her life would never be the same.
"Tara," Buffy said quietly, surprised to see the familiar face that now stood nervously before her. "There was an accident. Dawn's hurt." The Slayer said flatly, unwilling, or perhaps unable, to left her emotions show. "We need to use your phone."
"Of c-course," Tara said immediately, trying to squash down the worry and fear Buffy's words had caused. "M-my h-h-house is r-right here." She motioned to a small, two-story, dark blue house with dark purple trim surrounded by 4 or 5 tall oak trees and one loan willow tree; however, she did not move towards her home--or in fact move at all...instead she stood still, glued to the spot as she looked at Buffy, until she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. Turning her head, Tara saw Willow shifting nervously, and noticed for the first time the billowing white gown that covered and accentuated the curves of the petite body she had once claimed as her own. After a moment, Tara realized she desperately needed air--only then realizing her breath had caught in her throat. Slowly breathing in and out as she reoriented herself, Tara led the way into her home.
Twenty minutes later, Tara, Willow, Anya, and Megan were sitting on the front steps of the house while Buffy paced and Emma continued to sit in the limo with the still-unconscious Dawn when they heard the sirens as the ambulance grew steadily closer.
"Mommy, the amboowance people are gonna make Auntie Dawn all bette, wight?" Megan asked from her seat curled up in her Mommy's lap, but Anya's only response was to squeeze tighter the little girl she already had wrapped in her arms. Seeming to think this an unsatisfactory answer, Megan turned to the woman she had only seen in the big picture book her Aunt Dawnie liked to show to her when no one else, especially Aunt Willow, was around. Megan had always found adults she didn't know to be more honest about the scary stuff, so she asked quietly, "Aunt Tawa, do you fink Auntie Dawnie will be ok?" Three adult heads shot to attention when the small child called her Aunt Tara... each woman wondered how the girl even knew her name, much less thought of her as her aunt. Megan immediately knew she had said something wrong, but didn't know what, so simply lowered her head and looked down at the pretty big-girl shoes her daddy had bought her, until she heard a soothing voice calling out to her.
"I-I'm sure the d-doctors will h-help her as m-much as they can Sweetie," Tara said in the calmest voice she could muster, trying to comfort the girl, before asking quietly "H-How do you kn-know wh-who I am?"
As soon Megan heard those words, laced with comfort and even love though they were, her little heart sank. "Aunt Dawnie..." she trailed off uncertainly, not wanting to get her Auntie in trouble with so much else going on; she was already hurt, she didn't need people mad at her. Just then, as Megan searched her little head for something to say, the ambulance arrived, distracting everyone and saving the little girl the effort.
"She's in the backseat of the limo," Emma said flatly and emotionlessly, having exited the vehicle just as the ambulance pulled-up, but still not straying an inch farther than she had to from her wife.
"The call said there were 2 injured parties?" A young man said questioningly as the other two EMTs began to ease Dawn out of the limo and onto a stretcher, checking the young woman's breathing and slow but steady pulse.
Hearing the paramedic's question, Emma looked around at her family and the vaguely familiar woman accusingly, angry that any of these people who were clearly in better condition than her beloved would take any of the medical attention for herself. After a moment, however, a hesitant and unfamiliar voice spoke up.
"Th-the driver...I ch-checked, and he's b-bleeding...the, the g-glass c-cut his h-head." Tara told the paramedics tentatively, as another stretcher was pulled out. Emma looked apologetically at the slightly older, nervous blonde woman, silently asking forgiveness for her unspoken harshness.
For Emma, two things happened at once when the other woman smiled back at her: she felt reassurance inexplicably roll over her, and she realized why this woman looked familiar and precisely who she was; for her only a brief acquaintance, but for her family and her love... Stepping up to the woman, Emma extended her hand and said decisively, "Tara."
Once again the surrounding women were surprised at the recognition--except one less this time. Tara, instead of being surprised, accepted the younger woman's hand, and said quietly "H-hi Emma."
By this point, Buffy, Anya, Willow, and even Megan were confused, but there was no chance for questions as everyone's attention was drawn back to the ambulance.
Chapter 4- Don't Fade Away
Fifteen minutes later, Tara pulled her car up in front of St. Andrews Hospital where Dawn had been taken. She could here Anya whispering words of comfort to Megan from the backseat as she turned off the ignition and watched Willow fumble with her seat-belt beside her. Tara's mind was still reeling from the events of the past two hours.... She had never imagined she would see these people again...her family....and yet, a part of her had always known that she would find these people again; that they would find her; that they would come back into her life--or perhaps had never really left it.
Emma and Buffy were still fuming where they sat in the back of the ambulance as it pulled up in front of the hospital. Neither woman could believe the idiocy of the paramedics, trying to keep them from riding with Dawn. When Emma had headed for the ambulance as the doors so closed, she had been stopped by the EMT heading to the front to drive the vehicle. Despite all arguments, he had continued to insist that only family could ride along, and refused to believe that Emma WAS family, only sneering when she pointed out the wedding band on her ring-finger. It was not until Buffy had shoved him up against the side of the ambulance and threatened his life--he alone believed the threat, but then, he was the only one that needed to--that he agreed to let Emma into the ambulance, and even then he was hesitant to allow Buffy to go along, proclaiming only one woman could fit...that was until Emma threatened him.
This time, not a single witness doubted the seriousness of the threat. Emma had no need for words; her eyes said it all: fuck with my family and pay the consequences. And so Buffy and Emma had both been permitted to ride in the ambulance, each woman holding one of Dawn's hands. The incident had certainly not been the worst of the day, but that made it all the easier for the young women to focus on instead of their worries and fears...However, even the incident that they had both allowed to cloud their minds faded away as the doors to the ambulance opened, both stretchers were pulled out, and their beloved Dawn was taken into the hospital.
Emma followed close behind, refusing to leave the side of her wife and unborn child, but as they entered through the double doors and doctors crowded around, the young woman felt farther from her beloved than at any other point in her life, and it seemed to her as if Dawn was fading, leaving her, never to return...
Chapter 5- Brain fuzz
The hospital was oddly quiet as Tara, Willow, Anya and Megan entered. There was the normal bussle and movement, but everything was silent-- or perhaps this was just Tara’s perception of it, for the moment she saw Buffy pacing, the world seemed to return to normal...or at least as normal as the surreality she had experienced for the last two hours. Looking around, Tara saw that Buffy was alone, Emma nowhere to be found, and the family presumably still unarrived.
Tara ached at this thought, at the thought of the family she was once a part of; but now was not the time to think about it, because they now stood in front of Buffy, who was explaining what had happened since Dawn's arrival.
Tara tried to focus on the Slayer's words as she talked to Willow, but found it very difficult to concentrate on anything while in such close proximity to the red-head. As the best friends continued to discuss the situation and she continued to struggle at paying attention, Tara managed to catch a few of Buffy's words...Concussion... forced her way... damage... attacked... internal bleeding... observing... tests... spotting... Some of it didn't make sense, but from what she could understand, Dawn's condition wasn't good... though Tara wondered if perhaps she knew this more from knowing Buffy and recognizing the hollow, forcibly-empty tone than from any actual words...but Tara had no chance to ponder this as 3 familiar faces came rushing in.
Tara immediately knew Giles and Miss Calendar, but it took her a moment to recognize Joyce Summers under the haggard and worried expression; they had all aged over the last four years and were worn from life on the Hellmouth, but the older woman who had once been like a second mother to her looked like she’d been in one too many appocalypses-- or perhaps like her daughters had. Tara knew this was far from the first close-call for a member of the younger Summers’ generation, much less all of Joyce’s surrogate children. Back in her Scooby days, each time one of their clan was injured, especially Willow or Dawn, whom she felt fiercely protective of, though for different reasons, it felt like a physical blow to her; she could only imagine how much worse it must be for the woman who was a mother to them all...then go through that every day for nearly a decade, watching both your daughters and all your unofficial children nearly dyine, and Tara imagined Joyce must have immense, unimaginale amounts of stength to still be standing. Tara didn’t have time to think about all this though, as the barrage of questions began, the three Scooby-parents all intensely concerned about Dawn.
Tara wondered for a moment if she should leave; they would always be her family, but she felt her place might no longer be with them. Her doubts-- all thoughts, infact-- were stopped as she felt a soft, gentle warmth resting on her arm. Looking up, Tara felt her breath catch in her throuat as she locked eyes with the deepest, most intense pools of green she had ever known, seeming to plead with her not to go.
Tara didn’t know why Willow-- Willow who had pushed her away, Willow who had never tried to find her, Willow who had so obviously moved on-- wanted her to stay, but in that moment it didn’t matter. All that mattered was Willow’s hand on her arm, asking her to stay.
Chapter 6- Giles likes monster trucks
The only way to describe it was a daze; yup,she was in a daze. Willow had never felt stranger than she had that day,and the more it wore on, the stranger she felt and the more intense her daze became. She had spent the last four years searching-- for what she'd never been sure of, but it had always seemed very important. Now she realized she been looking for something to fill the emptiness, fill the hole in heart Tara had once been. As much as she loved her life-- she did, didn't she?-- that hole had never been filled, not even by the man she had planned to marry...and now, seeing Tara again, it seemed for the first time since she had lost it like she might be able to feel that completeness again...Except Tara was trying to leave.
Willow couldn't let the other woman go...not now when she'd just found her again... Willow didn't know what she wanted from Tara, didn't know where the woman she had loved so completely would fit into the life she had made for herself without the blonde, but she couldn't let Tara go.
Willow reached out and placed her hand on Tara's arm. It took a moment, but Tara looked up at her into her eyes. Willow had planned to say something; tell Tara to stay...but as those deep blue eyes looked into her own, all words were lost; Willow hoped that her eyes, and the heart that this woman before her was still such a part of, could say enough.
As Willow and Tara listened to Buffy relaying the details of the situation to Joyce, Giles and Jenny standing anxiously in the background worrying almost as much, Tara tried hard to both follow the Slayer's words to see if there was new information and really look at the people before her who had been out of her life for so long, but she was able to focus on neither of these things for long as her mind kept being overwhelmed by the skin still touching hers. It was only a hand on her arm but... It was Willow. With Willow the most innocent of touches was enough to start a fire raging inside her.
Finally Buffy's recitation of the events was over, concluding with the fact they still knew very little, and Tara was noticed for the first time. She felt shier than she had in years when one by one the eyes turned to her. She feared they would resent her presence; she had been gone for years, what right did she have to intrude on their grief and fear? Tara looked down, hair falling in front of her face to hide her from the world, a gesture that had once been as familiar to her as breathing but since her first year of college only came when she was feeling her most vulnerable. When she then felt Willow's hand, the one thing keeping her safe, fall away she pulled as deep inside herself as she could go; she was a teenager again, in a world that hated and shunned her, and the only way to survive was to lock herself away. But a moment later something extraordinary happened; she felt arms wrap around her, the warm safe embrace of a mother.
"I'm so glad you're here Tara," Joyce murmured before pulling back to look Tara in the eyes and smile with all her quiet strength. "Dawn always loved you so much."
Tara felt tears spring to her eyes at the older woman's kind words, and her heart warmed even further when she felt Willow's hand rest against the small of her back, a gesture once so familiar to them both. "Th-thank you Joyce. I'm g-glad to be here, a-and g-glad I could h-help, w-with the phone." Joyce nodded and smiled sadly, and Tara thought she must be wishing there were something she herself could do to help her daughter.
Miss Calendar took stock of things a little differently, observing that Willow was still in her wedding dress and offering to drive her home so she could change. "I-I'll take her," Tara offered immediately, "Y-you just got here, s-stay, b-be with your family."
"I would like to be here for Rupert," Jenny admitted quietly, not wanting her husband to overhear. "He's so fond of that girl, no matter how much she drives him crazy. But then he loves me and I drive him crazy, so I guess that's no surprise," she added with a faintly wicked smile. "I think he's secretly starting to like computers, American football, and monster trucks."
"I heard that!" Giles called indignantly from where he stood conversing with Buffy a few feet away. Willow giggled, making Tara's heart swell.
"Alright, well at least take our car," Miss Calendar offered, bringing their attention back to the dress-dilemna. She started to pull out her car keys, but Tara stopped her with a hand on her wrist.
"Please, m-my car's just in the parking lot, w-we know where it is and I h-have the s-seat how I like it. L-let me help."
"Alright Tara, drive safe. You both better come back in one piece and that's an order."
With that the two women turned and head out toward the car. If they walked closer than necessary or 'accidently' brushed the backs of their hands together, they felt no need to comment on it. And if it made their skin tingle and their hearts flutter, they were each content to allow themselves this small transgression of bliss.
Part 3: Paths...
Chapter 1: ...Retaken
"This may take a few minutes, you can come in if you want...you know, if you need the bathroom, or water, or, or...juice!!! We have juice..." Willow babbled, blushing when she heard Tara chuckle; she knew from years of past experience that Tara-chuckles were accompanied by Tara-half-grins, but refused to let herself look over at the blonde for fear that in doing so the urge to grab Tara and place smoldering kisses all over her, reclaiming the beloved body, would overpower her reserves. Willow did, however, allow herself a small smile as she heard Tara reply in the affirmative.
"I w-wouldn't m-mind the A/C...it's k-kinda h-hot out here." Tara admitted as she climbed out of the car and followed Willow. Truth was, Tara would've taken practically any excuse to go inside, to see once more the house that had for many years been like a second home to her-- or perhaps third, as she had always felt Willow was her true home...but either way, she had loved this place, and wanted the chance to be in the comforting atmosphere once more.
Tara supposed she should be wanting to say goodbye to the house, since she never got the chance four years ago...but somehow , this visit didn't feel like a goodbye. No matter how much Tara told herself that meeting the gang again was a chance to say goodbye and finally move-on from her life among them, she couldn't shake the feeling that it was more of a hello...which was silly, she knew, because Willow was getting married, and without Willow, Tara had no place among the Scoobies; Willow had always been her place. But all the same, no matter what the reason, Tara felt the undeniable pull to enter the Summers' home...and so she did just that.
Chapter 2: ...Of Tears
The house was so much the same it was somewhat eery upon entering. Despite what must have been countless repairs by Xander, the furniture and windows all looked exactly as she remembered. Here and there was a new blanket or decoration, but for Tara, walking into that house was like stepping back in time... until she noticed the pictures on the wall.
Gone were the photos of teenagers and young adults at the Bronze and Expresso Pump and dorm rooms, of the days when she was part of the gang, when they were all in college together, except of course for Xander, and Dawn who'd just been a kid. They were replaced by photographs of weddings, Dawn's high school graduation, picnics in the park with Megan,
and--Tara's heart broke when she saw this--of Oz among the gang... Just as tears began to well-up in her eyes for all the things she'd lost four years ago, Tara noticed another picture... one that brought a different kind of tears.
Tara remembered the day clearly. It had been a few days after her 21st birthday, and the whole family had gathered to celebrate in the park. Xander & Anya,Willow & Tara, Buffy and her then-current beau Travis, and a couple of friends from Tara's art class had gathered for a few hours at the Bronze on her actual birthday, but it was unanimously decided that they needed a family celebration.
Dawn, Buffy, and Joyce had gone to Willow and Tara's dorm and the five of them had driven to the park together. The sisters argued and swatted each other all the way, while Willow watched from her seat next to them with a small smile on her face, Joyce tried to ignore her girls as she drove, and Tara attempted to play peacemaker, reaching back every few seconds to pull the young women apart and tell Willow she should be helping her, but the redhead was enjoying her lover's frustration and playful annoyance far to much to do such a thing. After arriving at the park, they
had begun to put up decorations for the party. Willow had insisted on a piñata when Tara mentioned she’d never had never had one as child, but the blonde was still shocked to see the monstrosity. Easily the largest piñata Tara had ever seen, it was a 4-foot tall horse with rainbow stripes and tail; Willow had even attempted to glue a rolled-up piece of newspaper painted dark green into the middle of the ‘horse’’s forehead as a horn, but it was putting up a fight, and the redhead eventually gave up with a pout. Once Willow had finished trying to perfect the piñata, Tara had attempted to hang it, only to be yelled at by her lover; the redhead insisted that, as it was Tara’s birthday, the blonde shouldn’t have to do any strenuous activity not typically performed in the bedroom. Tara had begun to argue, until she realized this would mean being able to watch her lover work and direct... she loved watching Will’s body move, and her taking control of the situation; Tara adored aggressive, in-charge Willow.
In addition to the pinata, Will had insisted on quite a few other party-related items. Her absolute favourite, which had been Dawn’s suggestion, enthusiasticaly backed by Buffy, was party hats, if for no other reason than to see Giles in one--and this picture was of just that: Xander, Dawn, and even Anya working to distract the older man as Buffy and Willow came up behind and placed a pink paper hat with multi-colored balloons and confetti on the Watcher’s head, just before breaking down into fits of laughter, quickly joined by Dawn, Xander, Tara, Joyce, and even Miss Calendar. Miss Calendar(she had told them all to call her Jenny on more than one occasion, but her friends had still remembered her to much as a teacher and thus been unable to do so, which meant Tara, to, used her formal, maiden name) had taken the picture, Tara recalled, and given her a copy as part of her birthday present. It had been the last time Tara had seen the fun-loving, playful, mischevious side of the woman she had fallen so deeply in love with. She had loved the picture capturing that, and so the happy tears flowed down her cheeks at the thought of the woman who for her was always front-and-center in the picture, even if to any other viewer she was to the side and part of the back-ground.
As Willow descended the stairs in the house that had been her home for the past four years, now in the distinctly non-wedding outfit of a deep green shirt with tight fitting jeans, she couldn’t help but notice what Tara was looking at... a picture of she and Buffy putting a party hat on Giles at Tara’s 21st birthday. The incident had caused Giles to be angry with then for more than a week, but it had been worth it for the look on his face and for that picture...and the happily reminiscent expression Tara was now wearing. Willow couldn’t help but notice yet again how beautiful Tara was, standing there smiling, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“That was a good day,” Tara said quietly, acknowledging Willow’s presence without turning around. She didn’t think she could stand to look at the other woman in that moment without being swept up in the memories of their years together, and she didn’t have the luxury of getting lost in her thoughts. It was time to get Willow back to the hospital, she knew, but she wished they'd never have to leave, because Tara also knew, and this knowledge was both a sharp pain and an intense ache, that Oz would be waiting.
Chapter 3: Lost and found
Willow felt like crying when Tara said decisively, “We should get going.” The last few moments had reminded Will of the earlier days in thier relationship, when they would stay in silence for hours, reading off of eachothers’ faces and bodies nearly every thought that came inside their heads... Willow knew those days were long-gone, had been gone long before she left, but she had enjoyed feeling that way again... She and Oz had never been a very wordy couple, but not for any deeper understanding; Oz simply wasn’t a talker, and Willow had become less of a talker in her years with him...but still when things needed to be understood between them they used words, while she and Tara had rarely seemed to need them... and now the words Tara was using hurt Willow. She knew the other woman was right; that there were people were waiting for her; that she should be at the hospital to see how Dawn was; but the last thing Will wanted was to return to the world, because for her the world had no Tara.
“W-will you c-call me wh-when you l-l-learn anything?” Tara asked hopefully as she pulled up in front of St. Andrew’s, fearing that Willow would say no, and this would be all she’d get--one hospital visit, and then there were all out of her life again, without ever being able to know Dawnie was okay. She felt like crying again, but was determined to wait until she got home; Willow had her own fears and worries without Tara throwing hers into the mix.
Willow felt like she’d been punched in the stomach when Tara asked her to call. She felt tears well up as she closed her now-shimmering green eyes tightly in an attempt to hide her crying, but Tara was still far too atttuned to her not to notics, especially as the tears spilled through the lids.
“You’re really w-w-worried about D-Dawnie, huh?” Tara asked gently, noticing the state of the red-head, and that she made no move for the door.
“I-I’m worried, but that’s not why I’m upset...” Willow admitted quietly. “I don’t believe how badly I’ve messed up.”
<> Tara let herself hope, for the first time, that maybe her beloved regretted what had happened between them, regretted not being with her.
Willow continued in the same quite desperation, “I was supposed to get married today, and--”
Tara cut her off, unable to bear hearing that Willow was upset she hadn’t gotten married. “I-it’s ok-kay Willow, y-y-you and O-oz w-will get an-nother chance..” Tara attempted to comfort the other woman, but her own heartbrake at saying the words was too much for her, and the tears she’d been holding back finally came in barely-controlled sobs.
“Dammit Tara,” Willow practicallu yelles through her own tears, “I’m not worried about me and Oz! I’m worried about you & me; I’m worried about the fact that ever since I saw you again, all I’ve wanted to do is kiss you. But I can’t, because I screwed up; I left, and I’m getting married, and I don’t get to kiss you anymore; or ever again.” As Willow heard the finality in her own words, as she got of her chest the last horrible thing she hadn’t even let herself think, loud sobs began to wrack her body and she shook back-and-forth as her last bits of resolve faded.
Tara was at a complete loss. She had been hoping for some remorse, some sorrow for the way things had ended between them, but never had she expected the redhead to want to kiss her... Four years had gone by; they had both changed, and Willow had obviously fallen in love with someone else; yet Tara still knew Willow, and she knew that when it came to matters of the heart, the woman didn’t say things she didn’t mean. Tara was sure that no matter what else had changed, that hadn’t... when it came to her heart, Willow gave everything she had...and now she was giving it to Tara.
Chapter 4: Of love
When Willow stopped crying and composed herself, she began to feel bad about what she’d said a minute earlier; it had clearly upset both her and the blonde. She had never meant for it to come out that way--had never, in fact, intended to say it at all. She had known she should just let Tara go; probably should’ve let her walk out of the hospital hours ago, let Tara get back to whatever life she’d created for herself, but now that Willow had blurted out her feelings for Tara, she simply couldn’t let the other woman walk away; Willow had to know how Tara felt about her... had to know if there was a chance for them. She knew it was ridiculous, knew she didn’t deserve Tara back after everything, even knew it wasn’t fair to Oz to be thinking about another chance with the witch, but deep down she’d always known she and Tara belonged together. While Tara was out of her life, she could hide behind the excuse of just being unsecure about she and Oz, but now that this beloved soul had been brought back into her life, had been brought back to her, Willow could hide no longer. Being with Oz had been wonderful in its own right; they had been together through so much, and he’d helped her grow as a person, and she did love him, but their time was over; they weren’t meant to be. Tara was her soulmate, and she would spend the rest of her life proving that to the gorgeous Goddess before her, if only Tara would let her back in her life. She didn’t expect Tara to instantly take her back, but she hoped that maybe someday, if she was Tara’s friend long enough, Goddess willing, the blonde would forgive her... and even if friends were all she and Tara could ever be again, well that was better than not having the other woman in her life at all... and better than being with a man she could never give herself to completely.
And so Willow gathered up her courage and asked in a forcibly steady voice “Will you stay? Please?”
Tara couldn’t find the words to speak her gratitude, so she simply nodded as she parked her car and headed toward the building.
As Tara reached the door to the hospital, she noticed that Willow was no longer beside her-- had, in fact, stopped following yards back. Tara was confused by the redhead actions and uncertain if she would appreciate her presence, but simply couldn’t leave the other woman alone while she appeared to be in distress.
“I can’t go in there,” Willow said quietly, trying to hold in the tears she had barely stopped as they left the car.
“I-I’m sure D-Dawnie will be ok-kay,” Tara attempted to soothe the redhead but was quickly corrected.
“I’m actually not all that worried about Dawn... I probably should be, but a part of me just knows she’ll be okay...I’m more worried about how to tell Oz it’s over.”
“Will--” Tara began, fearing that Willow was leaving her fiancé for something she wasn’t ready to give, but was quickly cut-off.
“I know I don’t deserve another chance with you; don’t even deserve to be in your life... But I’ve spent the last four years miserable without you. I’d rather spend dthe next four years trying to be worthy of your firendship than creating and living a life with Oz that I only wanna live with you...even if we never live that life live I’ve always wanted. Even if we’re never together.”
Tara’s heart broke as she heard and felt the pain in Willow’s voice. As the sincerity of the woman’s words sunk-in, all the “shouldn’t”s in Tara’s mind seemed to slip away... I shouldn’t love her because she’s getting married... shouldn’t think about being with her cause she’s with someone else... shouldn’t want to kiss her because she doesn’t want to kiss me... As all these fears and insecurities left her, Tara was left with only one thought: the desire to kiss Willow; and for the first time all day, gave in to what she wanted.
As Willow saw the supple, full lips she had longed to feel against her ow for years coming towards her, saw the woman she loved more than her her own life, leaning in for a kiss, it took every ounce of restraint she had not to press her own lips against those before her... and it was with a strength Willow never could’ve imagined herself possessing that she pulled back just slightlu andd placed two fingers against the smoothest, most luscious surface she had ever felt.
“Oh Goddess...I want so much to be with you; I love you Tara, more than I can say, and the last thing I want to do is make you think I don’t by pushing you away... But I can’t kiss you before I tell Oz it’s over. I owe hime more than that. Okay?”
Tara couldn’t speak- could hardly breathe- as she nodded her understanding and walked into the hospital hand in hand with her beloved as four little words circled her head, I love you Tara.
Part 4: Resolution
Chapter 1: Still no answers
"Auntie Willow!" Megan said as she ran up to the adults.
"Hi Megan," Will said as she picked up and cradled the small girl. "Where's Mommy?" She asked, wondering why no one had been watching her niece to notice when she ran over.
"She went to the bathwoom... Daddy was was supposed to watch me," she said with a little giggle, "but I think he forgot... He and Oz went to get snacks.”
Tara was shocked to hear Megan refer to Oz simply as such. She had expected, especially with the ease at which Megan had call her "Aunt" when she was a stranger, that she called him "Uncle"... After all, he's been supposed to marry her Aunt...
But Tara was brought out of these thoughts when the conversation before her resumed.
"So how is everybody Meggy?" Willow asked the child tensely.
"Wew... Aunt Buffy's been pacing since wight aftuh you weft, and Gwampa Giles and Gwamma Joyce awe vewy upset, and Daddy keeps squeezing me, and when Auntie Em came and towd... towd us how Aunt Dawnie was... She said Auntie Dawnie might not wake up foh aw-while... awe she and the baby gonna be okay?” Megan asked through tears, her verbal regressions into the more childish speech she had outgrown remarkably early showing her distress.
Baby? Tara thought in confusion, they’ve only been married less than six months... She thought in sudden, desperate, agonizing realization, <>
“I don’t know Megan,” Willow admitted as she stroked the little girl’s hair and tears silently rolled down her cheeks and into the very hair of the child cradled in her arms. “I’m sure the doctors will help them as much as they can.”
Megan nodded, not really listening to her Auntie’s words as she continue to worry about her aunt and unborn cousin, when she noticed her daddy’s return and jumped out of Willow’s arms.
Will was startled when the little girl suddenly broke from her embrace, and looked around to see Xander and Oz depositing unwanted(though perhaps needed) snacks onto a table in front of the distinctly uninterested gang. Xander caught the redhead’s eye and smiled sadly, conveying silently, through the unspoken bond that had formed over their lifetime of friendship, his worry for their shared little sister and unborn niece or nephew.
Chapter 2: Past, present, future
Willow sighed, squeezing the much-beloved hand of the woman beside her before walking off towards the man she had promised her life to, knowing she was about to break his heart in telling him she couldn’t fulfill that promise... As much as it pained Willow to know how much hurt she was going to cause a man she cared so much about, she knew she had to, because she saw know that her life was not only hers to give... hadn’t been for seven years. Will had believed it was only her heart she had given to Tara and that if she and Oz created a life together, she would come to again love him, as she once had long ago, and love the life they lived, but she knew now she had been sleepwalking through her life ever since she left Tara. She had only re-awoken when she found Tara, because without the blonde, Willow was nothing; Tara was her life, and the redhead now realized she would never be happy in a life without her.
Willow's insides felt like they were eating her alive as she slowly forced herself to walk towards Oz. She knew she was about to cause him pain he never deserved and the guilt of it weighed down on her; it was only the knowledge that she was doing this for Tara, and that what Oz *did* deserve was her honesty that kept her moving. As she walked, she couldn't help remembering the last time she'd broken someone's heart...
Willow glanced at Tara with a weak attempt at a smile as she took the mug of tea but didn't look her in the eye. As the blonde sat on the table in front of the couch, Willow could feel the pain and tension rolling off, felt Tara's fear enter into her own heart where it joined with her own sorrow, pain, and guilt. Tara knew something bad was coming back that didn't make it any easier to start.
How did you tell the woman you loved you were leaving? How did you tell her that the very thing you first fell in love with, the magic of her her spirit and ever second of her life, was driving you away now? Willow knew Tara would try to leave the magic behind for her if she could, but the redhead also knew it was too much a part of this magnificent woman. Magic had taken over Willow's life; Tara had tried to show her that, but it was seeing Giles that finally made her see how far she'd gone down the wrong path. He taken time to pull her aside at his own wedding, to tell her how worried he was that the magics were starting to control her, to tell her that she barely even looked like his Willow anymore. He'd never called her that before; he'd always been like their father but he'd never shown that much open affection for any of them, and it was that more than anything that made her listen. Willow had become so wrapped up in power and strength, the magic had been consuming her and she had to walk away, leave the magic behind and learn to just be a person again. But it was different for Tara; magic was a part of her, weaved into the fabric of her very being. She had been raised with Wicca and practiced spells since she was old enough to walk. The magic flowed through, she didn't control it and it didn't control her. Tara couldn't see it, but Willow knew she had the spark of magic in her always, it was one of the things that made her so wonderful and so irresistible.
But Willow had to resist. She had to resist and walk away because Tara couldn't live without magic; it would be like living without her soul. She knew it would break both their hearts when she left, but better to break their hearts than break Tara's spirit.
Long minutes had stretched between them in silence, Tara's heart aching more with every second. Never before had Willow pulled away from her like this. And the pain and guilt on her face... Suddenly Tara knew, and it was like everything inside her froze. "It's over, isn't it?"
The words were a hollow whisper, feeling betrayed only by how softly they were spoken. Willow nodded without looking up from her mug, fearing that if she looked at the woman she loved and saw her pain she would take her into her arms and try to erase it all, and knowing if she held Tara again even for a second she would never be able to let her go.
They continued to sit without looking at each other, each wrapped in their own silent pain, for what felt like an eternity until Tara put down her mug and walked out the door. Willow had never known where her lover went that day, and she had packed up her stuff and gone before the blonde returned, leaving only a note behind.
Remembering that awful day four years ago, Willow felt guilty for how much easier ending things with Oz would be for her. She'd always loved him and always would, and when they'd run into each other 2 years ago hundreds of miles away from Sunnydale she'd thought it meant they were supposed to find each other because they were supposed to be together again, but the truth she'd been fighting for years was that she'd never loved him like she loved Tara. He was safe and comforting, he helped her feel calm and he saw so much good in her, it was easy to fall back into a relationship with him, there was no challenge, no struggle; but he di
_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.
I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...
~Jas
|
Login
FAQ
Search
.
*damn astigmatism eyes* 
