The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:18 am 
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2. Floating Rose
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Toshi: Hey guys :) Okay so...This fanfiction is rated M and is an Angst/Romance/Humour fic (Long story. Best if you don't ask.) so yeah...Hope you enjoy :)

Oh and by the way. If anyone gets upset by the content of this fic or wants to flame me please PM me. I would rather you didn't flame me here. Constructive critiscism (sp?) fine but no flames.

Thanks to my wonderful BETA Laragh for all their help with my grammitcal errors :)



"Tara? Tara? Where have you gone? Come on. I'm not playing any more. Come out, please."

I heard a giggle from a bush nearby. So that's where she was hiding. I started to walk away, singing a little nursery rhyme that I had made up when I was about ten years old.

"Around the corner and by the fence,
The fence,
Collect the wood for a bonfire,
A bonfire.
"

I stepped carefully behind the bush and pounced on it. I felt someone beneath me and just as I had thought...Tara was there. I started to tickle her, feeling her wriggling beneath me, breathless from laughing. She kept wriggling, trying to roll out from underneath me. I let her go after about five minutes, feeling bad that I had tortured her for so long.

"Willow, that's not fair. You gave me no chance to retaliate. That's childish."

She was calling me childish? She was the one who wanted to play Hide and Seek. We were sixteen for god’s sakes. I allowed it only because Tara had never really had a childhood so had never really had a chance to play these kinds of games. I was broken out of my thoughts by a rather heavy...something... launching itself at me and knocking me back to the floor. Damn. I knew I shouldn't have dropped my guard. Now I was the one being unmercifully tickled. I could feel the bracken underneath me cracking as I tried my very hardest to roll out from underneath my best friend.

"I give in! Tara, okay! I give up!"

Tara gave me a celebratory smile before standing and helping me to my feet.

"We should get back to our dorm. I have coursework to do."

Tara pouted but nodded. We started walking back, occasionally purposely bumping into each other, trying to knock the other person off their feet. Tara pushed me into a bush at one point and I succeeded in knocking her over. Once.

"Willow! Tara! Are you out here?"

Wonderful, I thought, mentally rolling my eyes. Just what we needed. Buffy and Dawn all worried about us.

"Tell them we got lost."

I muttered to Tara out of the side of my mouth. She nodded discreetly. Buffy and Dawn worried about me constantly. I was bipolar so they worried about me losing control completely and hurting someone. Or myself again. Tara was the only person who was completely comfortable with me. She could stop me doing anything to stupid when I'm in a good mood and calm me down when I'm in a bad mood. She was the only one I truly felt comfortable with as well. I didn't have to hide my problem and I didn't have to worry about stressing her out. She took everything in her stride.

"Yeah, we're here. Sorry we're late. We went for a walk and got lost."

Tara shouted back as two figures approached us. Buffy was in our year and Dawn was in the year below. All four of us pretty much hated this boarding school. Luckily we were all in the same dorm. Along with another girl called Anya. Anya was alright but...we weren't all that close to her. Our family dynamic worked well. We all looked out for Dawn. Tara looked out for me. Buffy made sure that none of us were picked on and I kept everyone reasonably sane...by being insane. It was a little bit odd but it worked. I was an only child so I enjoyed this feeling of family and I knew that Tara didn't have a very good home life so this was a break for her. Buffy was the first to reach me. She wrapped me in a hug then held me at arm's length to take a look at me. I was trying so hard not to roll my eyes.

"I'm fine Buffy. Honestly. Tara would never let me get hurt. You should know this."

Buffy nodded and let me go. Dawn caught up with us just then. Buffy held her back with one arm to stop her from doing the same thing that Buffy herself had just done. She must think I'm in a bad mood. I did roll my eyes at that point. I was not in a bad mood. But I was beginning to get in one. Tara placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Relax Will. They're just worried."

She whispered. I felt all the tension drain from my body. God dammit, how did she do that?

"Come on guys. We have to get back before Joyce locks the doors."

Joyce was our housemother. She locked the doors at ten every night. I looked at my watch. It was 9:45. It took ten minutes to get back to the dorm. We should make it if we started walking now. I started walking; knowing that Tara and Buffy would follow me and Dawn would follow Buffy. We did get back in time but we got a rather disapproving look from Joyce. I just shrugged. I may have been a good student but I rarely ever followed the rules. I just didn't get into that much trouble mainly because I was a good student and because I was bipolar. So sometimes my actions weren't my own. By the time we managed to get to our room, Anya was snoring, Dawn was yawning and my bad mood was returning. I stripped off and got into my tank top and shorts that I wore to bed. I lay down and felt sleep sweep over me, grasping at me and pulling my deeper and deeper into its black embrace.

When I awoke it was still dark out. I looked at my watch again. It was half past one. I tried to remember what had awoken me. It was a strange noise. Not a normal noise for around here. I strained my ears. There it was again. It sounded like...someone crying. Wait. Not just someone. Tara. Tara was crying? Why? What was going on? I threw my covers off and sat up. Tara sobbed again. I stood and began walking carefully over to her bed. She was facing away from me, curled into a tight little ball, shaking due to her tears. I placed a hand on her shoulder and she jumped, flipping round.

"Willow?" She whispered, her voice still all shaky.

"Yeah, it's me. What's wrong, Tara?"

I sat on the edge of her bed and rested a hand on her hip. She didn't speak but she snuggled up to me.

"You want me to stay?" I asked.

I knew her so well. She nodded and I climbed into the bed and let her lie as close to me as humanly possible without us being the same person.

"You wanna talk, Ta?" I asked her, running my fingers through her blonde hair.

"My dad sent me a letter today...Saying that he is gonna pull me out of here...He says it's cause he can't afford it. He says unless my grades improve I'm going home. I don't want to go back there Will. I don't want to go back to them."

She was sobbing again now, wetting my shirt. I let her cry it out, still finger combing her hair.

"Shush. It's okay Tara...I'll talk to my parents. If your Dad truly tries to pull you out of school then I'll get them to pay your tuition. My parents like you remember. Especially after they watched you calm me down the first time they met you." I told her, rubbing her back now.

Tara sniffed and I felt her nod into my shirt.

"Now go to sleep you silly goose...

Come stop your crying it will be alright,
Just take my hand, hold it tight,
I will protect you from all around you,
I will be here don't you cry,

For one so small you seem so strong,
My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm,
The bond between us, can't be broken,
I will be here don't you cry.
"

She had fallen asleep. She let out a little snuffly noise as I stopped singing but didn't wake up. I lay there and let sleep reclaim me, hoping that we could sort this problem out.

Toshi: So I hope you enjoyed it and...Please leave feedback...Feedback makes Toshi's very very happy :)
_-_Ja ne_-_
:kgeek
Toshi


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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:24 am 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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You know my opinions anyway, but I'll say it on here too :)

Plus, I want dibs :p

Great start! Who doesn't love a boarding school story?

I like all the inclusion of characters too.

Looking forward to more!

:peace

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:52 am 
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you want dibs on who? or what? :smash
Glad you liked it though :)

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:02 pm 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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People call 'dibs' on new chapters of stories here in kittenland.

Kinda like a virtual claim!

:peace

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Confidential EternalA Twisted DateDachsund Through The Snow


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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:10 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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Laragh wrote:
People call 'dibs' on new chapters of stories here in kittenland.


How do you mean call 'dibs'...I'm slow :( Can you explain?

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Last edited by Werekitty_ToshiGoth on Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:28 pm 
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Quote:
How do you mean call 'dibs'...I'm slow


The first person who responds to an update claims 'dibs' on being first. It really doesn't mean anything, but it can become an obsession.


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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:37 pm 
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Oh...Okay...Thanks...Hope you enjoyed the story miss BuffyFan :)

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:45 pm 
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I did. It definitely has potential.

BTW: It's 'Mister.' That's what I get for choosing a generic screen name.


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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:49 pm 
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Goddess I'm so sorry...My bad...Seriously...Good Goddess I'm an idiot. I should have checked.

Glad you enjoyed it though MISTER BuffyFan :)

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:57 pm 
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Hey Toshi! This is a grreat start! Like Laragh said, who doesn't live a good boarding school fic?!?

I'm interested in seeing the setting play out... Where exactly is this boarding school and who is it for exactly.

I'm also looking forward to more info on the characters--especially a backstory on Tara and some more on Willow's disorder.

You've gotten me intrigued here! Can't wait for more!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 1:00 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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I'm gonna answer your questions here mainly cause I don't think I answer most of them later on.
The boarding school...I don't know where it is but it's called Sunnydale Boarding school (Or something along those lines...)
And it's open for anyone who can pay the tuition fee's or can earn a scholarship...

That's all I'm naswering. Stay hooked :)
_-_Ja ne_-_
:kgeek
Toshi

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:08 pm 
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Toshi: Okay...Chapter two. Thanks for all the feedback and sorry to Mister BuffyFan... This is a major angsty chapter and contains Self harm, but it is majorly important.

As I said before. If you are offended/affected by anything put in this story or you wanna flame then PM me.

Huge thanks to my BETA Laragh who is currently helping me thrash out a idea I had in mind but I can't do...So big thanks Laragh-Onee :love

And now to the story


“OH MY GOD, BUFFY! Buffy, look!”

Dawn. I internally grumbled, not willing to wake up yet. I felt someone move against me, huddling back towards me and I remembered where I was. In Tara’s bed.

“Buffy! Look! Willow and Tara! They slept together last night! Look!”

Stop jumping to the wrong conclusions, Dawn. I nudged Tara with my foot and she grumbled a bit before stretching out. I opened my eyes at last to be met with a mass of blonde hair directly in front of me. I threw the covers off and swung out of the bed.

“It’s too early to be shouting Dawn.” I muttered as I turned back to the bed and pulled the covers off Tara in an attempt to wake her up.

She huddled herself into a tighter ball but her eyes remained firmly closed. I almost growled.

“Sorry Willow.” Dawn said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.

“But did you?” She added, excitedly.

I snatched the pillow from under Tara’s head and began to beat her with it.

“Did I what?” I countered, still beating Tara with the pillow. She was stubborn in the mornings.

“Did you sleep with Tara?” she asked.

I rolled my eyes and held the pillow above my head.

“In the same bed? Yes. Together, as in made love? No. Tara was upset and couldn’t sleep so I agreed to comfort her. You can ask her that yourself if she ever gets out of fricken bed.” I said, beginning to pummel her once more.

“You shouldn’t swear in front of children Will.” A sleepy voice said as Tara caught the pillow before it hit her on the head.

I half laughed.

“Hypocrite.” I muttered as I let go and walked back towards my bed.

I heard Tara sitting up and before I could take another step something had rammed into my back and knocked me face first onto my bed. I knew straight away that Tara had jumped on me. Again. I was sort of expecting it, hence why I had walked away before I had muttered ‘hypocrite’ so that I would land on my bed.

“Do you mind Tara? I would quite like to get dressed for school.” I said in a flat voice, attempting to pretend that I didn’t find this hilariously funny.

Tara stood and then helped me back to my feet.

“Honestly. You two are so childish.” I heard Buffy say.

I turned to look at her to find her all dressed already in her school uniform. I got changed within two minutes and then stood next to her, tapping my foot impatiently, waiting for Dawn and Tara. Anya had already gone for breakfast by the look of things. I looked down at my uniform. I hated it. It was a white button up blouse with a red ribbon where the tie should be and a cream skirt with a red trim. And we weren’t allowed to wear trousers. Unless it was the weekend then we could wear what we wanted. Also, anyone with hair long enough had to have it tied in twin plaits. It was so annoying. My hair was barely long enough and although I could get away with a lot I couldn’t get away with messing with the uniform. Unfortunately. I think Tara had sensed that I was getting wound up as she came over and rested a hand on my shoulder. I smiled at her and let myself relax. Dawn was the last one to be ready, despite her being the first one up. We walked into breakfast together, already expecting the hostility that we were bound to receive. Most of it was aimed at me but Tara got quite a bit for being the person closest to me.

“Oi! Freakzoid! Freakzoid!” That was Drusilla.

She was one of the most popular girls in school, despite being totally childish. I mean come on. She still carried a doll round with her. Miss Edith. I had stolen the doll once. I wasn’t entirely myself but…it did kinda alienate Drusilla from me. She now wanted my blood. Which was unfortunate.

“Buffy! Dawn! Tara! Willow!” Ah. Good ‘ol Xander.

The only guy in school that spoke to me. There was Angel but he normally only spoke to Buffy. Xander was sat at our normal table, with Anya and Angel. The boy’s uniform wasn’t much better than ours but…at least they didn’t have to wear a skirt. There’s was a white button up shirt and a red tie and black pants. Lucky sods. And as long as it wasn’t dyed they could wear their hair how they wanted. I so sometimes wished that I had been born a boy.

“Hey Xander.” I said as I sat down with my now full tray.

There was an upside to this school. The food was great! Tara sat next to me, with Dawn next to her and Buffy, as per usual, sat on my other side, next to Angel.

“So Willow. We have science today. Up for a little frog dissecting?” Xander asked, miming dissecting on his porridge. I shrugged, biting into an apple and letting the juices run down my chin.

“Xander that is so gross!” Dawn cried, being loud as usual.

“Dawn. I think you could have spoken a little louder. I don’t think the headmaster in his tower heard you yet.” Tara said, nudging Dawn softly.

I smiled. Glad someone was doing something about her volume controls, seriously. She had no concept of indoor and outdoor. Everywhere just got the same volume. Loud.

“Willow. You have apple juice running down your chin.” Tara pointed out before she reached out and wiped it off for me.

I didn’t complain. I felt a bit strange as she did it though. As though one of my mood swings was coming on. But this sensation was slightly different. It felt like something was flapping in my stomach…which was normal for a mood swing, but there was no headache, no sense of wanting to punch someone or to cry…no…nothing. That was strange. I looked up to Tara’s face and she was frozen, her hand still resting on my face. There it was again. At the exact moment we made eye contact. The fluttering. I looked away and stood up.

“I have to go. I’ll see you in class.”

And I basically fled the canteen, leaving my tray on the table. As soon as I was out of sight I started running. I kept on running, right out of the school building, all the way out to the woods where I had been playing Hide and Seek with Tara. Her face popped into my head. Not her normal face but the face she was making when I had been tickling her. That brought the fluttering back. Why wouldn’t it go away! I ran into the centre of the woods, knowing exactly where I was going. I got there and flung myself to my knees, digging. I kept digging till I found it. My trusty scalpel and the disinfecting kit. I had told Buffy that I had left the scalpel at home, but the truth was I had buried it here, in a plastic bag, along with a disinfecting kit so that any cuts I made with it didn’t get infected. I ran a cotton bud covered in disinfectant up and down the blade a few times, making sure that it was clean before I pulled back the sleeve of my blouse, revealing all the white scars that were already there. I didn’t know why I was doing this again. But I was confused. And scared. And I needed something to let it out. And this was the best way I knew. I pressed the blade to the inner part of my left arm and pressed down before drawing it back sharply. The wound almost instantly started bleeding. I did it again and again, not stopping even after I heard footsteps. I just kept going. My blood was flowing now, thick and fast. I wondered momentarily how much I was losing. I didn’t care.

“Willow!”

I heard a voice cry, but I paid no attention, I just kept cutting. Scalpel down, pull back, blood. Scalpel down, pull back, blood. Scalpel down, pull back, blood. Repeated and repeated. Over and over again.

“Willow!” There it was again. The voice. I recognised that voice. I turned and saw Tara stood at the edge of the clearing, tears pouring down her face.

“Tara…”

And then there was black.

Toshi: Silly Silly Willow.

Just to say...I don't take self harm lightly, nor do I see it as a joke. I have been there so I cannot joke about it

Hope you enjoyed it. Please leave feedback
_-_Ja ne_-_
:kgeek
Toshi

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:10 pm 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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Dibs!

I know I told you, but as someone who's had experiences with self-harm, and being bipolar, I totally feel how you're portraying everything. Very real.

Kudos!

:peace

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Love, The SeriesTwo For Joy/21+/Joy To The WorldInevitable/Infinitely

Confidential EternalA Twisted DateDachsund Through The Snow


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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:14 pm 
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That was quick...Glad you liked it...and I'm glad it seemed realistic thats what I was aiming for :)

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:15 pm 
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Wow, this is such a touching story. I can kinda relate to Willow; I have a borderline disorder, which is slightly different than bipolar, but it has some elements of it. It really spoke to me. And you update really fast! I like that in a fic ;).

Keep up the good work! :kitty

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:23 pm 
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Glad you liked it. When I get to Chapter 7 the updates will slow down as I have it all written out up until that chapter. Chapter 8 = W.I.P.

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 5:01 pm 
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As soon as you said there were uniforms, I was imagining Sailor suits. I blame your avatar, makes me think amime. Self harm is a very bad deal, and I hope Tara can help her find a more constructive way to address her emotions. Will Tara's inner angst maifest in ways other than late night tears?

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:01 pm 
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So happy you posted this!
It's brilliant!
Willow, bipolar, not so good...Tara, calming her, excellent :D.
Normally I don't like first person narratives, but i'm hooked already!
Can't wait for more!!

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:27 pm 
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Another great post... I have to agree with what's been said: you're doing well with a first person point of view (which is not an easy feat), and you're presenting the feelings and concepts of self-harm and a mental health issues in a real and truthful way.

I don't know if I can't wait much longer for an update.. digging the quickness :)

Obviously there's a relationship established between Tara and Willow--albeit one of deep friendship. It's painful to see Willow's reaction to her feellings for Tara (even if she's not quite sure what exactly those feelings are) causing such a wrenching manifestation.

How is Tara going to deal with this situation in front of her? Whare are the ramifications for Willow going to be now that she's passed out. Uh oh... I'm expecting more angst in this next chapter (which I hope will be up soon-ish?!?! :pray )


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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:15 am 
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Wow. I am really liking this. I like your idea of 'Willow with issues', and it's written very well too.
I know a lot of people who are bi-polar, and as for the cutting... Yeah, been there. The more I think about it the more I see how great Tara would be with someone who is bi-polar. Are we going to see her 'in action'? I'm really curious how you'll handle that.


Also,

Promthea128 wrote:
As soon as you said there were uniforms, I was imagining Sailor suits. I blame your avatar, makes me think amime.


That was my thought exactly! /me likes.


Last edited by ShesaGoddess on Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 11:16 am 
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Toshi: Hey Guys. Chapter 3. I've been told I should do one of these so here goes
Name: Hide'N'Seek
Rating: M
Rated for: Self Harm, Child Abuse, Language and Sex
Genres: Romance/Angst/Friendship/Humour
Disclaimer: I do not now nor will I ever own Buffy.

Thanks for all the feedback guys. This chapter may seem a little un-realistic to a Bi-Polar but don't worry...It will be explained.

Big thanks to my wonderful BETA Laragh-OneeChan :love
Enjoy


“Willow.”

I spun round. Nothing had changed in my surroundings. It was still all completely white.

“Hello?” I called back.

I could sense someone behind me. I didn’t turn around. I didn’t want to. A hand was on my shoulder.

“Willow. Back here again.”

I did turn round now. There was a girl there. With black hair. And black eyes. No pupils. Just black. How very odd.

“Who are you?” I asked, standing face to face with the strange girl.

“I’m offended, Willow. How can you not recognise me?”

I shrugged.

“I’m you, Willow. Your other half. The reason you’re bipolar. It’s me.”

I felt my mouth hang open. I snapped it shut and just stared. She didn’t look like me. I mean I have red hair. And brown eyes. Okay so we had the same pale skin…but that was about it.

“You’re not me. You look nothing like me.” I said, beginning to babble.

The girl chuckled.

“Oh, Willow, Willow, Willow.” She said, shaking her head. “You should know better than to just go on looks. I am you. Close your eyes. Feel it. You know it. Deep inside yourself. I am you and you are me. You are the positivity. Happiness, joy. I am the negativity. Anger and sadness. And both of us are love. Which, I believe, is what lead you to be here.”

I looked at her…me…strange thought, and I finally saw it. But I was confused by her last statement.

“What do you mean that it was love that brought me here? I don’t love anyone.” I stated.

But I wasn’t angry. I didn’t seem able to be angry. So maybe she…I… was telling the truth.

“Maybe you aren’t yet. But you are beginning to fall. Do you want to continue? Or do you wish to stop and climb out?”

“I don’t get what you’re on about.”

“Well…sorry Willow. I can’t tell you.”

“Willow.”

That wasn’t my voice. Either of me. That was Tara’s voice.

“Willow, wake up.”

She sounded like she was crying. Why was she crying?

“Tara? Tara where are you?” I asked, spinning around.

I was stopped by myself, catching me by my shoulders.

“You just need to wake up. And then you’ll see her. I hope you figure it out soon Willow.”

Okay now I was confused. The whiteness was becoming too bright. Too…white. It was hurting. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block it out.


“Willow?”

I blinked a couple of times. Where was I? It looked like the infirmary and…what the Hell was I wearing? It most definitely not my school uniform. Nor was it anything I owned. Someone had undressed me? Why? And what was I doing in the infirmary? I tried to lift my left arm and felt a searing pain shoot through it. Oh yeah. That was why.

“Willow? Are you awake?”

Tara. I turned my head to the other side and saw that she was crying. I lifted my right arm and wiped away the tears.

“Yeah, I’m awake Ta. Why are you crying?” I asked, noticing how croaky my voice was.
How long had I been out?

“You, you idiot! You’re why I’m crying. I thought you were never gonna wake up.”

I was taken aback. I had made Tara cry? Little Tara. Tara who always took everything in her stride. I felt the tears welling up behind my eyes.

“Tara. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. You can’t get rid of me. You should know this.” I said, trying my hardest to smile and to not let the tears fall.

But I couldn’t help myself and a few escaped. I could feel them, hot and salty running down my cheeks. Tara leaned in and wiped them away, before kissing me on the forehead.

“It’s okay, Will. Relax and rest a bit more. You need to get your strength back. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

I smiled at her.

“Tara…just one more question. What am I wearing?”

I fell back asleep to the sound of her laughing.

“Willow. Welcome back.”

Great. Me again. Just what I needed right now.

“What do you…I…want?” I asked, still seemingly unable to get angry.

I span round to face her and she was smiling. Not a nice smile. Actually it was more of a smirk.

“You can call me you. Easier to do. And really, nothing. I was just greeting you. Welcoming you back to the realm of your…our…unconsciousness.” She said.

“Well… I’m just going to sit and wait until I wake up. I do not want to talk to you since you are being all cryptic.”

And I stuck to my word. I sat. And waited. Until the other me sat next to me. I’m not sure how but at some point I ended up leaning on her.

“Why does it have to be like this? Why can’t I dream? Why do I always end up here?” I asked myself, sighing.

“Because you’re different Willow. We’re different. There is only one person who is able to unite us. And honestly...it’s not us.”

“This is what I was on about. You’re being all cryptic.”

I pushed myself off her then and just remained sitting. I heard myself chuckle.

“What?” I asked, turning my head to face me.

“You’re wanted. Wake up now Will.”

Okay now I was confused…


“Hey Willow.”

Buffy?

“Is she awake now?”

Dawn?

“I think so. I’ll go and kick Tara. Tell her Will’s awake.”

I rolled over, taking care not to jar my arm to much.

“Hey guys.” I croaked.

Dawn handed me a glass of water. Apparently we were sharing the same thoughts. I gulped it down in one go and handed the glass back to Dawn.

“Hey Tara.” I said as she walked into the room.

Her face lit up and she rushed to my side.

“You never answered my question, Ta. What am I wearing?” I asked again.

I let her laugh before she answered.

“You’re wearing a hospital gown Will. The nurse had to change you ‘cause your clothes were covered in blood. Do you remember what happened?”

I nodded as I watched Buffy and Dawn attempt to sidle out of the room. I let them go, wondering why they were going.

“Tara...would you believe me if I told you something completely crazy?” I asked, gauging her reaction from the facial expressions that she was making.

“Depends. Try me Will. Then I’ll tell you if I believe you.”

I nodded and swallowed.

“I…I…I think I’m gay.”

Tara’s face went through so many phases in the few seconds before she answered.

“Okay…How do you know…Or how do you think you know?” She asked.

“Well…When I look at this girl…I get butterflies in my stomach…and…I find myself wanting to be with her at all times…and wanting to be able to hold her and to be with her…all the time.”

I think I was beginning to blush towards the end.

“Okay. Who is the girl? Is it Buffy? Or…I know. It’s Faith. She’s gay as well. She’s funny and cool and real easy to love.”

I felt like hitting myself on the forehead. Was Tara really that stupid?

“No it’s not Buffy. Nor is it Faith. It’s really simple.”

I hoped she would get it.

“Dawn?”

Or not.

“No. I am not, nor will I ever be, a kiddie feeler. Keep guessing.”

“Well I know it isn’t Anya. I doubt it would be Cordelia. So there’s no-one left. Unless…no. It wouldn’t be…it’s not…me is it?”

Oh praise the lord he has granted her the power of a brain. Now I knew I was bright red.

“Well…yeah. It is.”

I was waiting for her to bolt. To do what I would have done and run. Far. And fast. And never come back.

“It’s okay if you hate me. Or if you never want to speak to me again. It’s fine…” I trailed off, beginning to cry.

Tara still wasn’t speaking. What was going through her head? Was she okay?

“Willow…I…I don’t know what to say. I need to think about this. I-I’ll speak to you later.”

And then she left. I rolled over onto my side, curled up and started sobbing. I’m an idiot. Only an idiot would fall for her best friend.

“I’m sorry Tara.”

Toshi: Awww Poor Will...Keep reading. Tara's desicion in the next chapter :)
Please leave Feedback :)
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Toshi
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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 1:11 pm 
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Dibs

Poor Will :(

Willow's dreams seem weird. I don't have personal experience with bi-polar disorder, thankfully, so I'm trying to figure Other Willow out. I've got some kinda magic, her subconsious, and split personalities, even though they don't usually manifest that way.... So really, I've got nothing. Guess we have to wait for your storytelling to reveal all.

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 1:14 pm 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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Great chapter, Em!

Other Willow is certainly a lot more aware that Normal Willow lol.

Keep up the great work!

:peace

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 1:27 pm 
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Wooo, an update!
I think it's safe to say that by now, I'm hooked... I will continue pressing F5 here until I find out Tara's decision.

I think it's great that Willow came out to Tara, I mean it's good that feels so comfortable around her.

*hits F5 again* :smash


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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:02 pm 
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Great Updates

I don't really have any experience with bipolar disorder, but it sounds like you're being accurate. I'm looking forward to the explanation of Other Willow and Tara's thoughts on Willow's revelation.


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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 5:07 pm 
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Brilliant chapter. I really liked how Willow just outed herself, rather than letting it get to her for a while. Hopefully Tara's decision will be the right one :D. Can't wait for more :)

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:24 pm 
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I've gotten sucked in.

Willow with issues...not entirely outside the realm of the possible.

Curious to see where you go with this.

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:55 am 
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Toshi: Hey guys :) Thanks for all the feedback. This chapter is one I think quite a lot of people have been waiting for. Some very cute WillowXTara fluffy moments in this chapter :) And some Humour :)

Big thanks to my wonderful BETA Laragh-OneeChan...And I'm so sorry for what the letter did to you :love

Enjoy


It couldn’t have been earlier than midnight…And I couldn’t sleep. I placed a load of pillows in my bed so that it looked like I was still there and I was sitting on my windowsill, staring out at the full moon. I was still in the infirmary so I didn’t need to worry about waking anyone up. And if the nurse popped her head round the door to check on me it would look like I was still in bed. I heard the door swing open and I tried to quiet my breathing.

“Willow?”

Tara?

What. On. Earth?!?

“Will, are you awake? Look I get it if you’re mad at me for taking off but… I needed time to think and…well I think I know my answer. Willow I hope you can hear me… I would like to try. I would like to try and make whatever it is between us work.”

Now I was smiling. I dropped down from the windowsill as silently as possible and I snuck up behind Tara.

“I would like that too.” I whispered as I wrapped my arms around her from behind.

I felt Tara jump and I giggled slightly.

“I thought you were in the bed. Where were you?”

I smiled as I leant my head on her shoulder.

“On the windowsill. Watching the moon. Thinking.”

“Thinking about me?” Tara teased.

I giggled again.

“Maybe. You gonna stay down here tonight? Or are you gonna try and sneak back upstairs?” I asked, removing my arms from her waist and beginning to remove the pillows from the bed.

I threw them all into a corner when I felt some arms encircle my neck.

“I think I’ll stay here. I’ll only worry if you’re down here and I’m up there.”

This made me smile. She was so sweet. I lay down and patted the bed next to me. Tara hesitated.

“Tara…you’ve shared a bed with me many times. Relax. You’re gonna get cold, standing there in only your pyjamas.”

Which are totally cute by the way, I added silently.

Tara smiled, seemingly reading my mind.

“But…it’s different now. We’re…well dating.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Relax, Ta. I won’t do anything. Promise. We can lie top and tail if it’d make you feel better.” I said, still holding the cover up for her to get in.

It was her turn to giggle now and in she climbed. I wrapped her feet in my legs and felt her stiffen.

“Your feet are cold. Let me warm them up.”

She relaxed and snuggled into me. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her once on the forehead.

“Night, Tara. See you in the morning.”

Tara mumbled something unintelligible and I smiled.

~The Next Morning~

“Good mor…oh!”

I let my eyes flicker open and was met, yet again, by a mass of blonde hair. I remembered what had happened last night and I smiled. Tara had said yes!

“Willow, if you’re gonna sleep with people then at least wait until your back in the dorms.”

I rolled my eyes. She was as bad as Dawn.

“I didn’t sleep with Tara. Tara couldn’t sleep and came down here for comfort and fell asleep. Honestly. Why does everyone think that we sleep together?!”

I shook my head as I sat up and I began to shake Tara. She would be getting up as I was going to school today, no matter what.

“Come on, Ta. Time to get up, sweetie.” I muttered as I tried to tempt her out of bed.

I didn’t feel like pummelling her this morning.

“Ta, I don’t wanna beat you up today. Please just get up.”

She stirred and I smiled. I stood up and went to walk away before a hand sprang out of the bed and caught me by the back of my shorts.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I heard Tara’s groggy voice say.

I grinned.

“To get dressed. You should do that as well, Tara. School starts soon.”

Tara groaned and released my shorts. I began walking away, listening to her grumble. The nurse walked out of the room when I got to my uniform.

“Stupid school. Stupid uniform. Stupid sleep. Stupid bed…that isn’t my own…Where am…Oh yeah. The infirmary. I don’t have a uniform.” Said Tara as she stood up.

I turned round as I finished buttoning up my shirt. I still needed to put my skirt on so I was only technically half dressed.

“Sneak back upstairs. Tell Buffy and Dawn that you couldn’t sleep and went for a walk dead early. No need to tell them that you were here. If you don’t want to I mean.” I said, rubbing my arm towards the end.

Tara stepped closer to me and wrapped me in a hug.

“Do you want to tell them?” she asked as we rested our heads on the others shoulder.

“Only if you do.” I told her, smiling even though she couldn’t see it.

She pulled back and held me at arm’s length. Normally this annoyed me but I felt a strange sense of calm. I suddenly remembered something that other me had said.

‘There is only one person who is able to unite us. And honestly, it’s not us.’

Maybe she meant…Tara. She had always been able to calm me down. I pondered and decided that I was going to ask myself next time I went back there.

“I want to tell them. I don’t see why we should hide it.”

Now that was why I liked Tara. So decisive and strong. And oh so very cute. I smiled.

“Then you tell them. But I need to finish getting dressed. You should probably go and do the same or we won’t get any breakfast.”

Tara nodded and released me. Just before she got out the door she turned back and blew me a kiss. I grinned and pretended to catch it and held it to my chest. I blew one back and she did the same.

“See you later.”

“You too.” she said.

~Breakfast~

I walked into the hall alone, for the first time in well…ever. I ignored Drusilla’s remarks, as usual and grabbed a tray of fruit and headed straight to our normal table. There was a new addition. A blonde guy. He was sat on the other side of Buffy and it looked like him and Angel were arguing. Wonderful. I slid into a seat, next to Tara and Dawn. Tara took my hand in hers and I smiled. I heard Dawn giggle and I turned to her.

“Don’t you dare miss dirty mind. Keep your perverted thoughts to yourself child.”

Dawn went bright red and everyone at the table laughed, except for Angel and the blonde dude. I nudged Tara.

“Who’s he?” I asked her, grabbing an apple with my free hand and biting into it.

“His name is Spike. He fancies Buffy. Angel is not pleased. And here comes Faith.” She muttered back, squeezing my hand.

I looked up and twisted round to see Faith coming up behind us.

“Hey guys. How are you?”

I rolled my eyes as Buffy answered for us.

“Alright. Getting a headache but alright. And you?” She asked, leaning forward so that she could talk to Faith properly.

“Five by five cutie. Hey Red. Glad to see you and s-s-s-stutter have finally stopped beating around the bush.”

She said as she sat on Tara’s other side. I didn’t mind my nickname but making fun of Tara’s, now disappeared, stutter was not something I could take.

“I’m pretty glad to Faith. And I would prefer it if you didn’t make fun of my girlfriend. Especially not when I’ve just gotten out of the infirmary.” I said, not looking at Faith but continuing to eat.

Spike looked up.

“Your girlfriend? You’re friends with a dyke, Buffy?” He asked, well mainly shouted.

I growled and felt Tara’s hand grip mine tighter. Buffy turned to Spike and Faith stood and walked over next to Buffy.

“I am friends with three people who like people of the same sex, Spike. Faith here is one of them. And she could kick your ass from here to kingdom come and back again. And with my help she could knock you to the other side of the universe and back.”

Faith cracked her knuckles and Buffy smiled, rather evilly.

“Okay, okay. Relax. It just took me by surprise is all. You don’t bat for the other team do you Buffy?” He asked, as Faith went to sit back down.

“No. As Angel knows well.” She said, leaning back against her boyfriend. I smiled. Things were back the way they should be. But they probably wouldn’t be that way for long.

“Tara Maclay, to the Headmasters office please.”

See what I mean.

Toshi: Now whats going on? Nothings ever simple is it?
Keep hooked
Please leave feedback
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Toshi

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 12:28 pm 
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Dibs. Liked the Buffy-Faith smackdown of Spike.

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 Post subject: Re: Hide'N'Seek
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 3:31 pm 
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Aww, very cute.
I hope that's not Tara being sent home :(
Loved the tag team against Spike :D
Can't wait for more :)

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