• Title - Gifts and Curses
• Author name – Vazy
• Rating - PG-13
• Disclaimer - Uh... I guess this fic is sort of angsty, nothing incredibly hard-core though. Contains spoilers for beginning of Season 6.
• Feedback- Feedback is loved oh so much.
• Summary- AU after Wrecked. Willow can't take watching herself destroy her life with her magick addiction and leaves to deal with it. Leaving Tara and the Scoobies to battle the Trio alone.
• My amazing Beta, tazraven
• Notes- So this is my first fanfiction posted here on the Kitten board and my first stab at Buffy fanfiction. But I love the board so much and the couple I figure I gotta try. Anyway, I'll update whenever I can.

Chapter 1

[center]I see your face with every punch I take,
And every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
Still I will always fight on for you.
- Gifts and Curses, YellowCard[/center]

The coffee maker crackled as it started up in the silence of the apartment. Xander rubbed at his hair and yawned deeply. It was too early to be up on a Saturday morning. The sun was barely even making its appearance yet. He had no idea why he was even awake at such a time. He rarely had the chance to lay in due to having to be up at ridiculous times normally to get to the construction site on time, but here he was now: up. Of course Anya had slept through his brief tossing and turning. If she was awake then no one else should be asleep, but there she was, dead to the world. Padding over to the TV he didn’t notice the answering machine with its incessant beeping message count of two. Flicking the TV on, he channel surfed for a few moments. Nothing, not even reruns of Star Trek. Scrubbing at his itching eyes he flicked it back off deeming nothing worthwhile and a waste of electricity to be left on.

The happy gurgle of the coffee declared it was finished. Grinning to himself, he rifled through the cupboard as the mug of the dark liquid cooled to a non-mouth blistering heat, it was better that way, he’d decided after one too many burnt mouths at the many Scooby meetings over the years. To match the gurgling machine his stomach noted its displeasure of being empty. Xander crowed with excitement when he found a box of donuts stashed at the back of the fridge. Grabbing the mug and the box he moved back into the living room.

This time the tiny flashing number on the answering machine caught his eye.

“Two messages so early for little old me?” He frowned at the machine and hit play. The sound of the automatic message announcing the details of the first call echoed eerily throughout the house. A call at 4am… That wasn’t a good sign. The donut box dropped from his nerveless fingers when he heard the gut-wrenching sobs on the other end of the line. It was a voice he knew as well as his own and even Anya’s. Willow.

Nothing was said for a good minute; she just continued to sob down the line. His heart twisted.

“X-xan… I messed up bad.” Her voice was agonized. He’d never heard her in this state before. He rubbed his eyes furiously ridding them of the fine mist of already gathering tears. Something was deathly wrong.

“S-so bad Xan. A-and I can’t do it anymore.”

“NO!” He barked at the machine. His hand reached out automatically for the red head that wasn’t there. He clenched it into a fist to stop the shake that was rapidly appearing.

“I-I can’t sit around and watch me lose everyone. Giles. Buffy. Dawn. Tara. Oh goddess, Tara.” Another wave of sobs were churned out through the machine. Xander gripped the little wooden table which the phone sat on.

“I can’t do it. I’m going to lose everything. I-I can’t lose you too…”

“Willow don’t you dare do anything!” He growled at the phone, desperately wanting Willow here with him so he could hug her like he’d done so many times over the years. But he could guess this wasn’t as easy to solve as skinned knees and her parents leaving on yet another conference.

“I can’t just sit here and watch myself destroy it all and… and myself…” Her voice sounded just like it did when Cordy bullied her at that moment, that utter doubt in herself, that self-loathing.

“I-I’m going Xan… I love you so much. And everyone else. God, I love you all. B-but this magick… It’s like a giant hole trying to swallow me up a-an’ it’s not goin’ away…” The click of the phone on the other end of the phone made him jump. Judging by the number that had been spewed out by the machine it had been a pay-phone, her money had to have run out she wouldn’t cut out like that.

“Oh Will… What have you done?” He stroked the phone as silent tears fell.

Xander collapsed onto the sofa and willed himself not to cry. What had happened last night? As if to answer his question the phone played the next message, the sudden sound of it causing him to jump. Buffy’s voice rang out now.

“Xander, if Willow’s there tell her to come home right now. She has to deal with this. Bye.” Frowning even more he reached over to snatch the phone from its cradle. Whatever the hell was happening he wanted to know. Hitting the speed dial he heard the happy trill fill his ear. It continued to ring. He tapped his fingers impatiently on the sofa arm. He was nearly about to hang up when Buffy’s groggy tones picked up.

“’Lo Summers residence?”

“Buffy!”

“Xander? Why are you ringing so early, it’s a Saturday.”

“I wake up to two answer phone messages and I generally end up confused.”

“Oh… Is Willow there?” Buffy asked flatly.

“No. What the hell happened?”

“Willow took Dawn on a little jaunt last night that ended with my little sister in plaster and knocked out cold.” Xander’s jaw dropped. Their sweet responsible Willow? Putting Dawn in danger? Something was definitely not right, and he was going to find out.

“Willow?”

“No idea.”

“So she’s gone…?”

“No idea.” The anger in Buffy’s tone was clear. Buffy was pissed and none too happy with being woken up.

“Scooby meeting.” Xander frowned harder and rubbed at his eyes again.

“But wha-“

“Be here by 9 and bring Tara.”

“Xander it’s like 5am-“ He hung up before she could continue her speech. He eyed the cooling cup of coffee and came to the conclusion he didn’t feel like eating anytime soon.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The knock on the door came at half nine. By this moment in time Xander was none too happy; he’d driven both himself and his girlfriend into a state by his frantic pacing and mumblings. Collapsing onto the sofa he glared at the door. Anya eyed him skeptically.

“Fine don’t get the door. Leave that to me. The one who has no idea what’s happening.” She groused before flinging the door open to a groggy looking Dawn complete with purple plaster cast, an annoyed Slayer and a bewildered witch.

“Hey come into our home, at such a ridiculous and frankly rude time of morning.”

“I didn’t arrange this!” Buffy snapped storming past Anya to scowl at Xander. The two stared at each other intensely. Tara lead Dawn in tenderly by the no injured elbow, she’d had an edited version of the story on the drive over. Her heart hurt over the thought that Willow could do something so selfish and immature, but she needed to know exactly what this hastily called meeting was all about. Anya shut the door with a slam. Silence emanated throughout the room. After settling Dawn in the armchair, Tara looked at the still glaring friends. Her eyes went to Xander.

“Talk.” His eyes flicked away from Buffy to her. They had a pained and panicked air to them.

“Willow?” Buffy’s voice cut through the air like a knife, everyone flinched except Anya.

“I told you she’s not here.” Xander replied in a clipped tone. The glaring between the two started up again.

“Stop leering at each other in that manner, it’s annoying!” Anya rolled her eyes and shoved Xander in the shoulder. The tension wilted along with Buffy as she slumped defeated at the foot of Dawn’s chair.

“W-what happened? Tara’s eyes flicked between the heavy purple cast encasing the teens arm, Buffy’s defeat and Xander’s consuming panic.

“I want to know too! Xander has been pacing around and won’t have sex and something is wrong with Willow.” Tara nodded and looked at Buffy. Dawn was the one who finally spoke.

“Willow was taking me to a movie, decided she wanted to get high instead, took us on a joy ride, crashed the car and ended up sobbing.” She spat out glaring at the cast the whole time. It was surprising to her such venom from the young girl who was barely awake.

“High on magick.” Buffy added as if there was any doubt. Tara repressed the tears and the anger, she was already to disappointed in her ex to expect anything less. Xander ran a hand through his short dark hair.

“B-but this is Willow, Willow doesn’t do this!” Buffy was about to speak but he cut her off “Even with all this magick stuff this isn’t our Willster. I’ve known her a damn long time and she’s never done anything like this!”

“She has now.” Anya said matter-of-factly patting him on the bicep. Another silence was about to start again, but Tara’s soft voice cut it in the bud.

“B-but if you didn’t know that Xander, w-why did you call us about W-W-Willow?” Her blue eyes pinned him. He didn’t want to explain the broken message he’d gotten from her, for a moment he thought he should let Willow keep her last shred of dignity. But the purple acrylic strands caught his eye. He shook his head unable to speak. Reaching behind him he hit play on the answering machine. The sounds of Willow’s message rang out through the apartment for the second time that day. Everyone’s faces twisted into different emotions as Willow’s wild babbling became more hysterical and less coherent.

“Xander as much as we all love Willow, she’s in the wrong. And needs to face it.” Buffy said ruthless when the message had run its course. Xander scowled.

“Yeah, ‘cause hysterically sobbing down a phone just shows she’s on a deadly rampage.” He knew he shouldn’t bait Buffy, she was still getting used to being back among the living but this wasn’t the time to be gentle. Willow needed them. Before the fight could escalate any further, Tara cleared her throat. All eyes swiveled to her. Once she would have blushed and stammered but she didn’t know.

“Buffy’s right Xander, she has to go through this.”

“But we have no idea where she is!”

“We’re sure she’s not at yours?” Blue eyes fell on the Summer sisters. Dawn face was a mixture of horror and disgust, still not having recovered from the message. But Buffy shook her head vehemently. Tara turned her attention back to the dark haired man.

“Have you tried her parents?” Xander’s face lit up and he fumbled for the phone, hitting speed dial. The conversation was brief and it was clear from the way his face fell where Willow wasn’t.

“Thank you Mrs. Rosenberg, I-I’ll tell her if I see her.” He rubbed his face. No one asked for what message he had to pass on.

“She’ll turn up.” Anya patted his arm for the umpteenth time that morning.

Interesting start! I hope Willow is not about to do something stupid...can't wait to see where this is going!

@GagaforGaga - Thanks so much my single reader! Sorry to take so long to update but I've been planning and rewriting the first chapter. I'm half way through numero duo so it should be up in the next couple of days. Thanks again!

Hi vazy,

Glad that you'll be continuing this, it's a good start. The characters are all recognisable, especially Xander. I'd like to see where you go with it.



Just a presentation point - start a new paragraph when each character speaks. Spacing out the text makes it much easier to read.

Hey, Vazy!

Fresh point of view, usually don't see things from Xander's perspective!

I'm definitely intrigued here and want to read more!

Keep it coming - and thanks!

Ariel

Okay so hey guys! I wrote chapter numero two! Still no actual Willow or Willow and Tara but according to my little plan for this story, which so far I haven't stuck to what so ever, the big stuff'll start happenin' in a couple of chapters until then you have to deal with my writing from of the Scoobs minus Willow. Uh but you guys might not get a chapter until Thursday, I have a Physics and Chemistry exam tomorrow and Thurdsay morning but we shall see.

@Wayland - Thank you so much for both reading and reviewing! I'm glad you like it, and the characters are recognisable I'm was and still am slightly worried over Anya and the Buffster. First chapter has been edited and I have now started writing in such a format, Thanks for the tip!

@Ariel - Thank you for reading and reviewing I seriously love you for that! I love Xand and I'm rather like him so he's the easiest for me to write and I also write mostly from his point of view because of exactly what you said. He needs love!

[center]Update below[/center]

• Title - Gifts and Curses
• Author name – Vazy
• Rating - PG-13
• Disclaimer - Uh... I guess this fic is sort of angsty, nothing incredibly hard-core though. Contains spoilers for beginning of Season 6.
• Feedback- Feedback is loved oh so much.
• Summary- AU after Wrecked. Willow can't take watching herself destroy her life with her magick addiction and leaves to deal with it. Leaving Tara and the Scoobies to battle the Trio alone.
• My amazing Beta, tazraven
• Notes- Someone poke me if I sound too British.

Chapter 2

A week dragged by with agonizing slowness. And there was no Willow, she’d disappeared without a trace. Her room was in perfect order. Clothes in her dresser, her suitcase at the bottom of the wardrobe and, most importantly, all her magick supplies stowed where they were always kept. It had been Tara who checked this after the first couple of days when Dawn had suggested Willow was off magicking up trouble.

“She could have robbed the Magic box or gone back to that dealer.” Was the reply that had been spat at Tara after this check. Anya assured them all that her shop hadn’t been robbed in a horrified tone.
Still, it was clear that wherever Willow had vanished to, they had no idea when she’d be back or what state she’d be in when she was. They were all handling it fairly well. Xander with his phone calls to the Rosenberg’s every day, which were getting harder to explain. Buffy just seemed to ignore the matter, while Dawn swung from upset to mad and back again.

Tara sat on the beanbag rubbing her temples. She had a killer headache thanks to the school work that she’d been neglecting to do and the worry that kept worming its way back whenever she pushed it down. The happy trill of the Magic Box’s bell sent another jolt of pain through her head. For a brief moment she considered ripping the bell off but then repressed that urge as she thought of how happy the noise made Anya.

“How did today’s pointless, and frankly stalker like call go?” Anya said in a chipper voice as Xander approached the large oak table. Running a hand through his hair he let out a dejected sigh. This soon turned to a yelp as Anya swatted his hand away.

“Stop that! You’ll go bald!” She smoothed his hair back soothingly before kissing him on the cheek. Before she could pull away he wrapped his arms around her middle.

“Thanks Ahn.” He muttered into her stomach.

“It’s fine. You give me lots of orgasms and I love you, so therefore I do not like seeing you sad.” She stroked his hair again before pulling away. His brown eyes followed her before flicking over to Tara in her beanbag. Smiling sadly at her he started to speak.

“Will’s parents still haven’t heard anything but they said they were heading off on another Europe circuit… I think they planned. They’re sick of my pestering.” Xander joked weakly. Tara managed a weak smile at this. Tara was missing Willow as much as Xander but she couldn’t be as frantic or as trusting that she wasn’t out there trying to end the world in some bad goth stage. She didn’t feel like she had the liberty to trust Willow so explicitly after the mind wipe ordeal. But despite that she loved Willow and was terrified of what on earth Willow was doing out god-knows where that might be harmful to herself. All these thoughts just hurt her head more. Leaning further back into the beanbag, hoping she could just meld with it.

Xander watched her before turning to look at the grain of the table. Following it with a finger he wondered when things around the Hellmouth had gotten so bad. He didn’t believe for a second he’d just glanced away and they’d miraculously blossomed from nothing. He followed a swirl of dark oak, letting his thoughts wander back through the months. They’d brought Buffy back and she’d been odd but their little redhead had seemed fine to him. Well not fine, stressed and scared and sad but that’s how it had been the whole summer without Buffy. It’d all just fallen to Willow. His finger met a dent in the wood, he could feel the slight rough texture where splinters could be gotten. I need to bring some varnish to fix it before it got worse. He laughed under his breath, he was actually worrying about splinters in a situation like this?

The slamming and tinkling of the opening door caused three heads to snap up. Buffy stomped in with Dawn scurrying behind, looking slightly terrified of her sister. Nice to know she’s got one human emotion down, Xander noted dryly to himself. She slammed a piece of paper onto the table before continuing her rampage into the training room with the door slamming behind her. For a moment all eyes were fixed on the door.

“Well she’s a ball of sunshine today isn’t she?” Xander murmured before reaching out for the paper. Dawn shrugged and stood over his shoulder trying to glance at what was on the paper.

“We got that in the mail and she went slayer and dragged me here without explanation.” Tara hugged her.

“I’ve sure it’s nothing Dawnie, just-“ She cut off by Xander’s incoherent spluttering. Alarmed she looked at what was in his hand. It appeared to be just a photograph, and not a great one at that. In the centre of the frame was a fluffy auburn teddy bear laying on what appeared to be a hotel bed. The photo was slightly grainy from the room the bear was in being not very well lit.

“Oh no a teddy bear? It must be another apocalypse!” Dawn wailed in mock-horror. Reaching over to gently pull the photo out of Xander’s slackened grip she flipped it. The scrawl on the back was recognizable instantly. She’d seen it scribbled on cards, little notes and in the margins of books.
I’m okay, Love you all.

Tara had no idea what to make of that, okay… Okay could mean anything, it could be I’m okay in comparison to when Buffy died or in comparison to getting a 87% instead of an 95 on a paper. Dawn took it and flipped it back over.

“Yeah she’s fine not lost it at all. Leaving us all here and only contacting us with a bear photo.” Rolling her eyes she collapsed into the seat next to Xander.

“It’s her mysterious Willow-y way.” He exhaled deeply. Willow had always had to be quirky, but now really wasn’t the time for her sweet sense of humor.

“She’s fine sweetie, Willow doesn’t think like us.” Stroking Dawn’s hair she looked at the photo. The bear’s fur colour looked to resemble Willow’s hair colour.

“I don’t care anyway.” Dawn sniffed. She swiped the back of her hand across her eyes, Tara couldn’t help but smile slightly.

“I know Dawnie.” Xander by now had slumped back in his seat his face was a mixture of a profound relief and sadness.

“I guess this means our Willster won’t be back for a while, huh?” His face was clouded with sadness, he really did miss Willow. She was just Willow. He wanted to help her get better but by the looks of things she was shouldering this one all to herself. The click of the training room door signaled Buffy’s re-entrance. Xander looked at Buffy. She seemed to look better, for a second he thought he saw her frowning deeply but it was gone the moment she fully entered the room from the darkened training room. Coming over she sat next to Dawn and traced a finger along the words on the back of the photo. Silence reined. Anya plopped herself into Xander’s lap perfectly content to be there instead of the empty chair not a meter away.

“Why a bear, I mean really? And that hotel doesn’t look very nice.” Her accusatory tone was there. Xander smiled to himself, it was Anya’s little way of showing despite all the fighting her and Willow did, she did care about his best friend.

“Well Ahn, Will probably doesn’t have all that money on her considering she didn’t go and get anything from Buff’s.” Anya rolled her eyes, money was very important and she didn’t like the idea of Willow not having enough of it to keep herself safe.

“And Willow likes bears and cuddly things.” Tara added in before seeing Buffy’s raised eyebrow and blushing. Anya was about to make what was obviously going to be as some innuendo when Buffy cut her off.

“Tara, can you come live with us?” She looked slightly nervous, though that might have been more to do with her not having much experience with human contact since returning.

“Buffy you’re not a lesbian and Tara is t-” Anya began, before Xander’s hand over her mouth cut of the end of her remark. With a quick glare Buffy finished her request.

“I don’t like leaving Dawn alone in the house while I patrol. I mean there’s always been someone to look after her. You, Mom or Willow…” Dawn looked scandalized and pointed an accusing finger at her sister.

“I’m 16! I’m not a baby I can look after myself, and besides no one has been in the house this week.” Tara raised her eyebrows. Dawn pouted at this blatant reminder.

“Okay, fine, Tara’s been sleeping on the couch all week but still!”

“Dawn I can’t leave you alone at night, it’s not safe and besides you know Dad is just itching for some reason to yank you outta my care. And besides you love Tara.” All her cards on the table Buffy studied first Dawn then Tara gauging their reactions. Dawn for a moment looked like she wasn’t sure whether to go with idea or not but, after the summer she’d spent in Willow and Tara’s care she decided to take Buffy’s side. She turned big pleading blue eyes on the witch in question.

“Fine.” The squeal Dawn let out as she hugged Tara was at a pitch only dogs could understand. Wincing Tara massaged her temples. She still had a killer headache and she knew that if she’d really wanted to fight this development in housing it would only get worse.

“Okay then. We just need to move Willow’s stuff out.” Xander glared at Buffy for her suggestion. Willow had been gone all of a week and they were already shipping her stuff out.

“I’ll come by on Sunday and help box it up and take it to her parents.” He didn’t trust that Buffy might not just throw it out judging by how Buffy still seemed awfully mad at the redhead. At least if he could take it there it was safe from getting thrown out or worse, getting put in the Summer’s attic. He’d been in there once when they were seventeen, it hadn’t been a pretty sight.

“I-I thought you said Mr. and Mrs. Rosenberg were g-going to Europe?” Tara stuttered frowning, she’d never thought of being in their room at the Summer’s house without Willow. She’d always assumed that when they got back together she’d move back in. She didn’t like living alone in the dorms. She hadn’t done that since the before they’d beaten Adam, even then more often than not Willow ended up sleeping in her dorm. She missed that comforting warmth beside her at night. Still frowning she turned her mind back to her question.

“Well knowing Will her keys’ll be all safe and sound on a key ring in one of her freakishly organized drawers or if that fails I know the broken latch to a window over there.” Tara shot him a horrified look before he amended.

“I was joking Tara, though I do, they keep the key in the ceramic frog.” He chuckled to himself as he thought of all the times over the years when Willow had forgotten her own keys and ended up too terrified to get the spare one.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tara looked around the room it looked empty with only her possessions and seemed just so much bigger and colder. Her eyes stopped to look at the large and quirky painting of a cat. It had been a silly piece she’d done over the summer of Buffy’s absence, just something to keep her mind off everything, but Willow had still insisted it get a place in their room. Sighing, Tara trailed her fingers along the foot of the bed and then up to where a stuffed platypus sat on the pillows. It was Willow’s, but Tara had smuggled it out of the house when she left Willow so she had something of the redhead to cuddle at night. And at the moment, it was all she had of the other witch.

Jenga! Oh, crap, fiancé. Brb.

Okay, Adam's lunch: made. Back to the feedback.

This is a pretty cool idea, and I think it's coming together well. The characters are very true to form: Xander utterly devoted to Willow; Tara concerned for Willow's well-being, yet wary of getting too close; Dawn trying to figure out if she's pleased or upset over Willow's absence; Buffy as furious as we saw her in "Wrecked," but with bonus time to stew; Anya, ever the wordsmith, concerned for Willow in her judgmental way.

I'm looking forward to seeing what's happening for Willow. Did anyone think to check the postmark on the envelope to see from where it was sent?


It's unclear here if you mean Buffy or Dawn, as they both just entered. I'm guessing Buffy. Also, if these are words that he's thinking, it'd be easier to read if they were in italics or <>s or something. Plus, you need a comma after "down."


I'm guessing you added the "fluffy" into the description and forgot to change "an" to "a." Maybe it's because I was reading too much smut last night, but I totally thought lingerie, not stuffed animal, when I read this. It cleared up pretty quick, but I was confused for a second.


You need some sort of formatting to indicate that this is writing.


It isn't clear who is speaking here. I'm guessing Anya.

You don't credit a beta, so I'm guessing you don't have one. I highly, highly recommend betas. My writing is infinity better due to my work with one. Even if you only find a second set of eyes to catch grammar and formatting things like I've pointed out above, it'll help keep readers.


OT: Where in Britain are you? My grandmother is from Leicestershire, and I have a bunch of extended family there.

_________________
More of a dog person, myself.
I'm from Iowa, we drive four hours for a high school football game.
Queen of Hearts • The Sincerest Form of Flattery • Drabbles

@BeMyDeputy - Hey! Thanks, oh and thanks again for pointing out my errors. I haven't got a beta yet planning on gettin' one soon, a friend checked the first over, but that pesky second. Gargh. Leicestershire you say? I live about 2 hours away from there.

Yay, an update!!!

Sorry I didn't take the time to review before, but I will do it now (I'm GagaforGaga, by the way; I'm waiting for a mod to delete that other account since I'm only using this one.)

The way the gang reacts at Willow's disappearance is very similar at the one they would've had if it had happened in the show, and it is something that always bothered me...Why do they have to be pissed at each other all the time? I'm glad Xander is sticking up for Will though...he's not my favorite character but I'm liking it more just because he cares about her here!

That photo of the red teddy bear is very intriguing...Why would she send the pic of a bear? It feels like the fact that she owns a teddy bear may be last thread of innocence she possesses and, because it is a red one, it illustrates how she wishes (and wants) to find that innocence back, she wants to find herself again...

I can't wait to see where you are going with this!

• Title - Gifts and Curses
• Author name – Vazy
• Rating - PG-13
• Disclaimer - Uh... I guess this fic is sort of angsty, nothing incredibly hard-core though. Contains spoilers for beginning of Season 6.
• Feedback- Feedback is loved oh so much.
• Summary- AU after Wrecked. Willow can't take watching herself destroy her life with her magick addiction and leaves to deal with it. Leaving Tara and the Scoobies to battle the Trio alone.
• My amazing Beta, tazraven. And my L who checked out the original.
• Notes- I am so sorry it's been so long. At first it was the exams which I knew would slow me up but then there was personal issues with a friend, not nice kinda messy and when it happens I end up in no mood to do anything for a long time. Sorry again.

Chapter 3

The months passed with surprising speed without the redhead. Most of the time they didn’t even have a chance to stop and think of her absence. It was a sleuth of bills, social services and Scoobyage. After moving in, Tara and Buffy had gotten jobs in attempts to pay the avalanche of debt that just wasn’t slowing. Neither job was the greatest, but they were making money and keeping their heads above water.

Tara had taken a job at the bookstore in town: it was quiet and didn’t pay well, but it allowed her to read while she worked, which she loved, and kept her mind from becoming idle. An idle mind drifted to a certain place it didn’t want to be. With their combined effort, Tara and Xander stopped Buffy from taking the degrading job at the Doublemeat palace, the first job she could get and do with as little effort as possible. For a while they’d lived on Tara’s pay check. That had been a tough squeeze but they’d managed, before Buffy had gotten a job. Really, it was perfect. She’d become an assistant at the local community centre helping out with the sports that went on there.

The social services had been picking at them for a while, but soon they managed to get them off their backs by showing the responsibility the group held as a single unit. Tara kept the household in order and, in fact, probably kept the group in order, too. Most days they held meetings at the house so that Dawn wouldn’t be left alone and Tara could feed them all.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Buffy’s birthday was on them all before they knew it; the evening was spent as just the Scoobies. It was quiet in the hope that the normal hell that befell them whenever a party was held anywhere near any of the gang could try to be avoided.

Aladdin jingled along happily in the background. It had been a choice of Anya, who’d recently discovered the delights of Disney, and no one else was particularly watching it except the ex-vengeance demon. Xander and Dawn were playing a fast-paced game of a variation of Uno. The pair seemed to have made up random and whacky rules. Tara sat next to Buffy and they chatted quietly.

“How are you feeling now?” Tara murmured before nudging the slayer with an elbow, something had been off with the slayer for days. Tara planned on getting out of her even if it killed her.

“It’s nothing.” The slayer snapped, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the enormous bowl between them. Tara raised an eyebrow and a crooked smile played across her lips.

“Yeah, nothing has got you all with the grumps, Buff.” Xander added in before triumphantly adding his last cards on the deck. Dawn glared at him before knocking all the cards over the floor. Xander put a hand to his chest in mock horror, this act of utter Xander-ness got Dawn to roll her eyes before reluctantly dropping to the floor to collect the scattered mess of cards. Xander’s eyes followed her for a moment before flicking back to Buffy.

“What’s got you so down Buffster?” He asked a frown furrowing his brow. For a moment Buffy’s face seemed to soften at the sight of her friend’s worries for her, but then she shut the emotion down. It still hurt too much to feel anything for too long.

“It’s nothing I can’t deal with, okay?” She dismissed it again with the wave of a hand.

“Buff, we’ve gotta start asking for help when we need it. Didn’t we learn anything with Will?” As soon as Xander had said this he wished he could pluck it back from the air. Dawn stiffened at the mention of the redhead and for a moment Tara looked heart broken. Buffy simply raised her eyebrow at him, daring him to continue on the path of Willow’s destruction and Buffy’s own problems. All in all, Willow was still a sore spot.

“Open mouth, insert foot.” He joked sheepishly. Even as he said it though he thought of the witch who always seemed to be doing the same thing as he was now. I’ve spent far too much time around her, he had to suppress the sad smile.

“Uh, Presents? Presents are good. All subject change, none of the hassle!” He amended, glancing towards the dining room table which was adorned with brightly wrapped boxes, parcels and a pile of envelopes. Standing, he herded the others in the direction he wanted.

Buffy surveyed the presents, considering which to open first. Before she could make up her mind Dawn shoved a box under her nose, grinning widely.

“Open it, open it!” Slowly Buffy took the box from her and tore the wrapping paper off. The box lid promptly followed the paper. Dawn squealed happily as Buffy took the leather jacket out staring at it in awe.

“How’d you afford this?” Buffy gaped before peeling off her sweater and slipping it on. Dawn shared a look with Tara that Buffy missed as she studied the leather.

“I paid I swear!” Dawn promised, not deeming the fact she’d had to borrow some money off Tara for it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Soon there was a mountain of discarded wrapping paper. On the table were the numerous gifts from a platoon of people, including ones from her father, Giles and oddly enough Cordelia. All she had left was one brown paper package and a few letters. Tearing the paper off the package Buffy ripped open the box. Inside was a pair of leather boots. Dawn oh-ed appreciatively as Anya studied them critically.

“Those look expensive!” She noted glancing at the tag on them. Tara noted that Buffy was merely frowning at them.

“Uhm, B-Buffy?” She tapped the slayer on the shoulder.

“I needed new boots.” The blonde muttered before adding “I didn’t think I’d mentioned it to anyone…” Xander looked underneath the footwear in question before retrieving another envelope and handing it over to Buffy in silence. It was quite thick and when split open slips of paper flew out. Grabbing a hold of one Buffy looked at it.

“It’s from Willow.” Tara quickly gathered the rest of the photos for Buffy passing them over without looking at them. Buffy pulled out another sheaf of paper and read it quickly. Sighing she rubbed her eyes.

“What does she say?” Xander probed gently.

“Not much. She says happy Birthday of course. Said I hope I like the present, apparently I mentioned I needed boots in passing. She said she’s still okay and she’s dealing with it. That’s about it though.” Buffy summarised as she glanced down the letter.

“Doesn’t mention where she is?” Dawn asked reaching out for a photo. Flipping it over she glanced at it. Before frowning, Anya looked at the photo with her.

“Why is that bear there again?” She asked bluntly. Buffy flicked through the few photos she held. They all seemed to contain the same bear. They showed the teddy bear in an office, in the supermarket and with high-rise buildings out the window behind it.

“It’s Willow being Willow. She’s always loved stuffed animals.” Xander answered for Buffy brushing his fingers over the surface of the photo. Buffy nodded distractedly she recognised that office.

“Why not send photos of herself?” Dawn asked glancing at the bear sitting on sand with the sea in the background.

“Well she’s either done something to horribly disfigure herself due to magick, I’ve seen it happen, nasty, or just thinks we hate her so much that we wouldn’t want to see her face.” Anya said knowledgably. Tara looked alarmed at the throw-away comment of disfigurement.

“Ahn…” Xander warned. Rolling her eyes she slumped further in her seat. Buffy sat still studying the photo.

“Well, Happy Birthday Buff.” Xander smiled weakly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“I don’t know Ahn.” Xander admitted rubbing the back of his head. Anya shot him a glare over the cash register.

“What do you mean you don’t know! It’s our wedding!” She all but screamed. Xander shuffled his feet awkwardly not daring to look at the ex-demon.

“She’s not here and I don’t think I can do this without her.” Another death glare was sent his way, clearly telling him to elaborate on this crack pot theory. Running a hand through his hair in frustration he tried to explain in a way Anya would understand him.

“She’s Willow. I need her there. I’ve known her since we were toddling around and jamming random stuff into our mouths, y’know? She’s always been there for everything. Willow is more family than my folks… And she just needs to be there, okay Ahn?” Xander didn’t make eye contact with his fiancée, he just stared at the fraying laces on his trainers. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder glancing up he saw that Anya had moved beside him.

“I understand. You love her, not in the same way as me but you love her. Like you love Buffy. And she’s my friend too, I would not want her to miss this important occasion. We can wait… It’s not like we can go ahead with the wedding without the best man anyway.” The last part of Anya’s sentence came out as a grumble but the rest of it was heartfelt. Xander pulled her into a deep hug, his eyes squeezing tightly shut.

“Thanks Ahn.”
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Demons had been coming and going over the three months of Willow’s absence. Nothing severe had happened on the whole supernatural front at all really. The main pain for the Slayer and the Scoobies was the evil trio: Warren, Jonathan and Andrew. They’d blipped up on the radar several times. They hadn’t caused much damage to the actual town of Sunnydale, aside from the havoc that the demons that they summoned caused.

The fact that they’d set themselves up as Buffy’s ‘arch-nemeses’ meant that they were constantly causing trouble for her. So far they’d managed to turn her invisible which had only just been reversed by Tara’s quick thinking and Xander’s love of the gadgets in comic books. They’d also messed around with Buffy’s head several times. First forcing time to speed up, demons to attack her and then making her re-live the time she’d agreed to help Anya at the Magic box over and over again. They’d also sent a demon after her that had sent Buffy into a state of madness. This was once again averted thanks to the Scoobies, but not without being beaten, tied in the basement and nearly killed by the demon that had made Buffy crazy. Once Buffy had come to her senses and saved them, Tara had managed to make the antidote which cured the bout of madness.

The latest scheme that the Scoobies had stumbled into was cameras. The trios had been hiding them everywhere Buffy went. The initial camera had been found by Dawn knocking over a gnome in the front garden. Then Anya had found one in a skull when cleaning.

“I don’t know how the hell we’re meant to stop them,” Buffy scowled poking at the cameras that sat on their dining room table “I mean I have no idea how to use that thing!” Buffy jabbed a finger towards the laptop that Willow had left behind.

“I-I don’t think any of us do, except Dawn. And I don’t think she knows how to hack.” Tara muttered eyeing the laptop in question as if it was a bomb.

“So basically we need Willow?” Xander summarised.

“And we have no idea how to get Willow.” Anya added unhelpfully.

DIBS!!!

Hey, Vazy!

Nice to see an update on an intriguing chapter of their lives.

First, some confusion on "sleuth of bills"; a sleuth is basicially someone who solves mysteries or analyzes clues so you're losing me on that reference.

Liked the birthday celebration and Xander's explanation of what Willow means to him; touching and authentic. Also liked Willow sending a gift, gives me a happy, what can I say!

The teddy bear pics - intriguing touch!

The idea of Buffy getting out of the Doublemeat palace is wonderful; that place was beyond creepy . . . The new job is perfect! Same with Tara's. Minor confusion because you mention that Tara and Buffy have jobs to help get them out of debt and then say that Tara's job doesn't pay. Maybe you mean pay alot or much. I'm mentioning this stuff because you seem open to feedback, not to be a pain in the butt!

Bottom line, I'm into the story and want you to keep writing, especially like the freshness of getting to know Xander more.

Bring it!

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother

Okay, I absolutely LOVE fictions that re-write what happened in the series. I think it's kind of silly to pretend that these things wouldn't happen otherwise. (I acknowledge that it certainly makes the story more "yours" to change the events, and it's often done very well, but I totally prefer re-writes that diverge on just one point).

That said, after the Warren catastrophe, Willow should come back. Yes. I think so. Okay. Do it.
=P

P.S. Aside from the fact that that's patently impossible... you still do not sound too British

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Otherwise known as chipperdyke
Top Recommended Fics

I love season rewrites

The bear has me wondering: Is it really Willow just being Willow or is it some weird message like Lorne mentioning "Fluffy" when he was kidnapped? Maybe I'm just over analyzing it, but it has been my experience that authors don't put something in a story without a reason.

Looking forward to more. Update soon please.

Hey guys well I feel like a prat, its been nearly two months since I updated! At first I just totally didn't write anything for ages but then a couple of weeks ago I managed to churn out a chapter and get it sent to my beta. She's obviously very busy and hasn't had a chance to get back to me yet with corrections but I figure I probably owe you the chapter after so long so I'll update it now. I apologize for both the wait and the scrappy chapter. I've got the one after this all written out and waiting to be beta'd I'll decide in a week or two to update it with the un-checked chapter, if my beta hasn't gotten back to me by then. Enjoy?

[center]UPDATE BELOW[/center]

_________________
And all my life, I looked for you
For arms that I could fall into
- With You Around, YellowCard

• Title - Gifts and Curses
• Author name – Vazy
• Rating - PG-13
• Disclaimer - Uh... I guess this fic is sort of angsty, nothing incredibly hard-core though. Contains spoilers for beginning of Season 6.
• Feedback- I kill for feedback.
• Summary- AU after Wrecked. Willow can't take watching herself destroy her life with her magick addiction and leaves to deal with it. Leaving Tara and the Scoobies to battle the Trio alone.
• My amazing Beta, tazraven.
• Notes- I give permission to heckle me for my suck.

Chapter 4

Dawn’s eyes scanned over the faces in the room. Everyone was looking stony. The nerds had only gotten worse. Xander had run into Warren and the other two at the Bronze, when Xander had been hoping to drown his sorrows in the upcoming Willow birthday, and gotten pummelled. Sitting at the table he had three women fussing over him. Anya was clutching tightly onto his side determined not to let go, Tara was hovering offering to fetch things for him and Buffy was looking at the ice pack clutched to his rapidly swelling eye frowning.

“Tell me what happened again.” Buffy demanded disbelievingly, with a roll of his visible eye Xander didn’t bother repeating the whole story.

“I told you Buff, Warren’s gone all mighty mouse. Emphasis on the might.” Dawn stifled a giggle at his light hearted way of putting it. Xander was always the one to try and put a good spin on any situation. Shaking her head Buffy turned on her heel and left the room.

With a sigh Tara offered Xander a new ice pack her eyes following Buffy’s departure.

“I wish we knew what they were going to do next, it would make life so much easier.” Tara muttered rubbing her forehead.

“We not psychic…” Anya reiterated her point of the past month, eyes beginning to stray towards the laptop perched on the dining room table.

“Don’t Ahn.” Xander said in a low voice stopping her before she could continue her point. Dawn’s eyes flicked to Tara, whose face was an impassive mask.

“I’m just saying I watch CSI, I know what you can do on computers!” She snapped back throwing her hands into the air.

Dawn’s face fell at the thought of the redhead; her emotions towards her were a tangled web. She was still of course mad for the crash but she missed Willow and worried about the woman whose head clearly wasn’t screwed on right when she’d disappeared into the dark. Sighing she sat down next to the blonde witch and leaned into her side. Tara’s hand came up to stroke absent-mindedly at the teenager’s hair. Xander and Anya’s argument had become a flurry of quick indistinguishable words.

“Want to go watch some TV?” Tara offered softly, Dawn nodded her head vigorously against the witch’s arm.

Xander and Anya’s voices had raised since the pair had vacated the room and Dawn snuggled closer to Tara, trying to block it out. Fights between the engaged couple had become more and more frequent. Tara guessed that it was strain on Anya who desperately wanted to marry Xander and then the man himself, worried about Willow but just as desperate to marry Anya but unable to do it without his best ‘man’.

“I don’t like it when they fight.” Dawn’s small voice broke through her thoughts glancing down at the teenager whose eyes glued stayed on the TV. Stroking her hair again Tara searched for something to comfort the girl with.

“They still love each other Dawnie, nothings going to happen to them.” Dawn seemed to shrink under her gaze.

“But that’s what you said about you and Willow…” The pitiful voice that the teen used on Tara broke her heart.

“It’s not the same Dawnie, and you know it. E-everyone is just finding it hard at the moment.” She felt Dawn clutch onto Tara’s arm.

“Please don’t leave again.”

“I promise I won’t sweetie.” This promise was sealed with a kiss to soft brown hair. Tara’s eyes went back to watching the old black and white film that the TV had been flicked onto.

The news report flashed up in the adverts. The images were quick to show the armed car robbery that had occurred at the newly opened Sunnydale theme park. Immediately Tara put two and two together.

“Anya, Xander you might want to come look at this.” She called into the dining room within moments the other pair had joined them. The images continued to dart across the screen, further expanding on the story.

“Nerds,” Xander growled “It’s a wonder Warren didn’t hurt someone with his new powers.” When the film came back no-one paid any attention. The silence permeating the room was eerie. The bang of the front door announced Buffy’s arrival. She glanced into the living room at all the sombre faces. Her voice came out in a frustrated growl.

“What have they done now?”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The dappled sunlight flooded the Magic Box as the Scoobies sat slumped around the research table. They’d spent the better part of late last night and the early, early hours of that day trying to figure out a pattern or anyway to catch the Trio. Although they weren’t that dangerous Warren’s beating on Xander had got them all jumpy. Anya scanned an enormous dusty tome when the bell over the door tinkled happily. For a moment she was about to jump out of her seat to greet a costumer; but it was only Tara coming back from her morning Art history lesson. Tara chuckled as she saw any slump back into her seat grumbling under her breath.

“Sorry Anya, just me.” Anya scowled at Tara and turned to watch Xander as he flicked through a book of badly made notes. Tara set her book bag down next to an empty seat and joined the pair at the table.

“Anything new?” Tara inquired softly, Xander looked brows furrowed deeply as he set the note book down.

“I know the Dawnster thought if we kept note on the evil Trio then we might be able to catch them better but really it just means I have to read more.” Running a hand through his hair he started to continue on with his tirade of just how useless this whole thing was. Tara only bothered to half listen to him vent, she and the rest of the Scoobies got the full on Xander rant a lot nowadays. Idly she wondered if it was because Xander had lost the person he often complained to the most. Sighing her mind went off into its normal Willow-y world that occurred whenever she thought about the other witch.

Buffy had suddenly appeared through the training room door. Her eyes were somewhat distant and she her mouth was a tight slash across her face.

“I had an idea.” This cut Xander and his incredibly unhelpful speech.

“Tell, tell and shut the whiny man-child up!” Anya clapped gleefully ignoring the daggers that were shot from the ‘whiny man-child’. Tara too nodded her head in agreement.

“Well the best way to track the nerds is through a computer right,” She took in the many nods, “And well none of us are very computer friendly,” Another round of nods, “Well Angel’s friend Fred is fairly good with them right what if we contact her?” Xander’s face lit up, he knew about Fred through Willow and hers emailing back and forth after the red head had gone to break the news to the Angel crew last summer.

“I-it could work.” Tara murmured also remembering Willow and Fred’s connection.

“Call them!” Anya insisted excitedly, it seemed she was getting paranoid about the nerds looting her store, although there was nothing to suggest they would “Oh, and I can charge you for the call.” Anya bounced happily in her seat at the prospect of money.

Frowning Buffy moved over towards the phone. She hadn’t hoped for such an immediate decision after so long it still hurt to talk to Angel but she knew she had to do it for the sake of Sunnydale. Or well not really the fate, it was just a couple of nerds she thought to herself. Picking up the receiver she dialled the familiar number to the Hyperion hotel.

It seemed to ring for an eternity before it was picked up.

“Hello?” For a moment a thrill shot through Buffy at the sound of his voice.

“Hi Angel, we need a favour over here.” At his grunt and several probing questions she explained the situation of the Sunnydale Nerd Herd and the lack of Willow. There was a long pause when she finished and for a moment the image of broody Angel filled her mind and she got another odd thrill of emotion. Cursing to herself for not being used to all this emotion since she’d come back, she continued to wait.

“So you need me to get Fred for you?” He asked slowly, with a sigh of frustration Buffy confirmed her request “Okay, I’ll go fetch her.” Another silence stretched over the phone. Tapping her fingers on the counter Buffy waited.

“Any luck?” Tara had come to stand beside Buffy, studying the slayer with concerned blue eyes. Buffy frowned again, and squirmed internally as another feeling floated through her.

“He’s fetching her.” She replied shortly.

Suddenly on the other end of the line there was the sound of muffled shouts and some crashes. A female voice could be heard shrieking before it cut off quickly followed by another thud. Buffy tensed as another crash reverberated through the phone line. Then several moments of silence filled the line. Just when Buffy was about to flip into a panic there was the sound of the receiver being picked up.

“Sorry, we’re having a little trouble here. I’ll get her to call you back.” Angel’s voice informed her sharply

“What no you can’t hang up now what the hell hap-” The dial tone filled her ear. Whipping the phone from her head she glared at it and contemplated crushing it. A warm hand on her shoulder snapped her back into the world outside of her head.

“They seem to have some trouble, he said they’d call back.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The half empty boxes of Chinese sat forlornly on the dining room table of the Summer’s home. No one had had the appetite to eat much after the Angel phone call earlier in the day. Dawn had pestered them about all the long faces when she’d got home from school and managed to worm it out of a stony faced Xander.

Tara couldn’t put her finger on why it had them all in a rut but it did. It didn’t even have anything to do with them, the mysterious fight that had taken place miles away in LA but she couldn’t stop the bats fluttering in her stomach.

Her eyes strayed over to Buffy who was stabbing viciously at chicken ball that was trying to allude the slayer’s fork. Poor Buffy, all the feelings coming back into her body and she’s not even sure what to do with them. Willow leaving had helped with the Buffy wake-up call, that and the fact that the slayer had caught Dawn about to steal something from the Magic Box. In fact poor Dawn too, Tara sighed everything was getting all tangled without Willow and none of the Scoobies where able to do much about it. Although it wasn’t all tangle free with Willow but it still had been easier than this.

A faint tap sounded through the house, Xander’s head shot up from his plate of Kung-pow beef.

“Was that a knock on the door?” He asked through his mouthful earning himself a slap on the arm from his fiancée next to him. Glancing round they all shrugged, ears straining for another sound. Another slightly loud tap came this time.

Before anyone could move Dawn had bounded to her feet to get the door.

“Dawn no it could be-” The creak of the door cut Buffy’s worries off. A loud shriek filled the house and the Scoobies ran to the front door. Dawn stood in the doorway torn between happiness, anger and shock. In the door way stood a stick-thin, red-haired witch completely with a lime green plaster cast covering her forearm, brilliant black eye and a strained smile.

“Willow what the hell happened to you!” Dawn shrieked.

_________________
And all my life, I looked for you
For arms that I could fall into
- With You Around, YellowCard

Dibs

I wonder what happened to Willow. At least she's (semi-)okay. What was the scream heard from Angel? It's been a while since I've seen those episodes, so I don't remember when, or if, it happened. Since Buffy never called Angel in the original, maybe that changed too.

Update soon.

What the hell!
After all this time. Willow is sorta of finally back. With quite the looks also,
You can't leave us with all that climax-y tension of reunion.
Continue soon!

How had I forgotten this story?! Anyway, now I remember it and I'd really like to see how it will continue and what happened to Willow. Please update?

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Sanity is not statistical.

I am so intrigued!I am wondering why Willow is in the state she is in, but glad she is back.

Please continue very soon!!!

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"Can you just be kissing me now?" -Tara
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Love this so far! Please update soon!

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Life's a big canvas. Throw all the paint on it you can.