The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

General Chat  || Kitten  || WaV  || Pens  || Mi2  || GMP  || TiE  || FAQ  || Feed - The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe

All times are UTC - 8 hours



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 210 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 11:08 am 
Offline
10. Troll Hammer

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2006 8:12 pm
Posts: 1170
Love this story!!! Willow trying to make Tara non-verbal is :thud Tara should just tell Willow her secret. Now knowing that she used to date and was in love with a werewolf should make her feel better that Willow wouldn't freak out. Patiently waiting for another update.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 9:26 am 
Offline
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:39 pm
Posts: 17
Location: united states
This has to be the best retelling of season 4 I've ever read. Your characters are wonderful, and I absolutely love your Tara. I love her depth and her confidence and I love their easy back and forth. I wish this Tara was this bold and sexy for the entire TV series.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 10:17 pm 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:31 am
Posts: 619
Topics: 10
Location: San Diego, CA
Announcement Hey everyone! I've got a thread of me rewriting other people's stuff here. They're short writing exercises; I never spend more than two hours on a piece, and they don't go through a beta. I've been really happy with how they've come out. Check them out and tell me what you think!


And now, feedback!
@Ariel: Hey there. You know, the first draft just had Tara knowing poems because, well, she seems like the sort of person that would memorize poetry. It wasn't until later that I remembered that they can be used for dealing with speech impediments. But I'm glad I did, because everyone seemed to love it.

The collarbone/breastbone bit is one of my favorite moments in that whole section, so I'm glad you like it.

Your call for "More, more" reminded me of Wesley and the "Preparation, preparation, preparation" line.

@wimpy0729:
Quote:
The emotional/physical wall that Willow put up when they left the room was heartbreaking,

Oh good. But, um, well . . . uh . . . sorry, but . . . this section is pretty hard on Tara, too. Next chapter things will improve. At some point. I promise.

But I'm glad the sexy parts were sexy.

@vampyregurl73: I'm glad you liked the poems. I wanted to go with things that were famous enough that people would recognize, while at the same time weren't romantic or love poems, because Tara doesn't want to be too forward.

I hope you're up for some more unfair.

@zampsa19752001: I think the poem scene is one of the favorite things I've written things so far.

@edob: Glad you liked! I hope you like this one, too.

@LonelyTara: Look! Update! And it totally takes care of that sad note thing. Yes. *cough*

@DaddyCatALSO
Quote:
Very logical that a "half-monty" experience is one of the relationship milestones.

I'm glad you liked. I think it's an important one at their experience/age level.

Quote:
And as always, one goes out where the other goes in; carresses make Tara shut up and Willow talk :-).

Yup!

Quote:
[M]akes me think forward to "the Yoko Factor;"

The way I have "The Yoko Factor" sketched it actually goes pretty well for Tara, so it's okay.

@mishki:
Quote:
The angsty low after that heady, lush high was a pretty tough landing

I really see parts 3 and 4 as being one long part (together they're something like 10.8k words, I think). Taken together, it goes down-up-down, like the reality of things being confusing and bad is interrupted by this amazing positive thing.

Quote:
n the end, I had to look up where in S4 this sits, vs NMR, just to see how long until everything's out in the open. Seems like a far piece...
Probably a lot more rollercoastering ahead

There's a lot of rollercoasteriing in the near future, but things will calm down between "Who Are You" and NMR.

Thanks for commenting! It's always nice when lurkers say things. And gratz on your floating-rose-ness!

@wayland: I'm glad you liked the "sexy-soluble" bit. It's funny: between my fiancé being a psychology PhD and my biology background, it totally came naturally. That's the sort of thing I say.

Quote:
This really was a chapter of two halves

Like I said above, I really look at parts 3 and 4 as one piece: a sad one interrupted by a happy one.

Quote:
Your Willow, the dedicated soldier, seemed unfamiliar at first but fascinating and on reflection, very true to canon.

They stopped highlighting just how much their lives are consumed by Scooby research around the end of season 3. "Amends" has one of my favorite montages for the endless hours of research and dedication that goes into their hobby.

Quote:
did you mean ‘petulant’?

Dammit! How did the spell checker miss that? I'm a poor speller (well, given my vocabulary), and am forced to rely on spell checkers to keep me from looking silly.

As for the "Be my deputy": I believe the point of the scene is that it's effectively an inside joke between Willow and Xander. But are you familiar with the idea that, particularly in the old west, sheriffs could deputize people, granting said deputies the rights and responsibilities of being an arm of the law. There are modern deputy sheriffs, but they're administratively or electorally determined. Anyway, I picked it as a name because I love the look on Aly's face when she says it.

@Promthea128: Glad you liked the line. It's a both sad and wonderful time for Tara in particular right now, but things will improve. I can totally see it in my outline.

@JustSkipIt: Aw, shucks. :blush Thanks! This is less sexy, but still all verbal. I'm not exactly laconic.

@love_2003
Quote:
Willow trying to make Tara non-verbal is :thud

Thanks! I thought it would be a really effective way to pit them against each other: Tara's getting used to being touched, while Willow's learning what Tara likes. It's like a dirty version of the space race.

@lavenderangel
Quote:
This has to be the best retelling of season 4 I've ever read.

Awww . . . shucks. Thanks!

Quote:
I love [Tara's] depth and her confidence

I hope you still like the story just as much as I continue to shake Tara's confidence.

_________________
More of a dog person, myself.
I'm from Iowa, we drive four hours for a high school football game.
Queen of HeartsThe Sincerest Form of FlatteryDrabbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 10:18 pm 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:31 am
Posts: 619
Topics: 10
Location: San Diego, CA
Author: BeMyDeputy (Kate)
Rating: PG-13 for this section (for sexiness). Up to NC-17 for later installments.
Feedback: Yes! Please! Are you reading and don’t have more than “I like this”? Fine, post that! Disagree terribly with my portrayal of the characters? Fine, post that, but I reserve the right to defend them. Supposedly sexy parts not sexy? Bitch! This is my first major fiction piece, so rip it up. If you just write “you suck,” I’ll ignore you.
Notes: The entirety of Chapter 3, including "Drowning" takes place during "Goodbye Iowa"
Spoilers: This is season 4. If you haven't seen season 4, what are you doing here?
Content disclaimer (this section) : Sex: No. Angst: Yes.
I Don't Own This Disclaimer: The entire Buffyverse (including setting, characters, and plot) is property of its owners, including but not limited to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement is intended by this work. "Goodbye Iowa" was written by Marti Noxon.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to my awesome beta reader, dlline, who encourages my being really mean to my characters. I hurt them because I love them, you see.


Chapter 3 part 5: Drowning

“Hey you.” Tara looked pleasantly surprised when she opened the door, a look with which Willow had become rather familiar.

“Hey there.” Willow let Tara's smile wash away the tension and confusion and the fear that were pervasive in her life. Tara's smile was a universal solvent for everything wrong in the world. In that moment, Willow realized that as much as she wanted Tara to be a part of her normal life, she was afraid of diluting that solvent, of making it less potent by sharing it with the people she loved. Willow's smile faltered, but only for a moment; Tara was still smiling, and that meant the world was right.

“Oh. Please, come in.” Tara opened the door, and Willow gratefully entered. The pressure differential was just so huge. It was like coming up from scuba diving; she felt like if it happened too fast, she'd get the emotional equivalent of the bends. There was the pressure of the world that was Out There, with demons and Adam and the Initiative and the craziness that was being friends with Buffy Summers. Then there was Here, where it was serene (or at least as serene as “flooded with hormones” allowed). Where she could breathe. Her thoughts flowed just as fast Here as they did Out There, but in Here they all flowed the same direction, instead of twelve directions at once.

“So, d-did Buffy find that demon?” Tara was so kind, so patient. She seemed to intuit that Willow needed the space to decompress at her own pace. She never tried to force anything; to pull Willow up too quickly from the depths.

“Ugh.” Willow walked to Tara's bed and collapsed onto it. “More like it found her.”

Tara's face went white as she sat down next to Willow on the bed. “I-is she okay?”

Willow gently reached out and set a hand on Tara's knee. “She's fine. Well, she didn't get hurt, at least.” Willow sighed and closed her eyes. “So, we found out a lot last night. My psych professor was stabbed to death, but not by the Polgara demon we were looking for with the spell last night. It turns out she was playing Frankenstein, and made herself a monster, only with demon and machine parts as well as human.” Willow suddenly remembered an exciting detail, and sat up, hands waving, to relate it. “Oh, I was so proud! During last night's debrief-y thing, Buffy called the monster Frankenstein, but then Xander pointed out that Frankenstein was the name of the scientist, not the monster. He remembered the Wishbone!” Tara smirked. “Okay, okay, I get awfully proud of my students' achievements,” Willow said, shoulders slightly fallen.

“Xander's your student now?”

“Only when I teach him things. So . . . since we were four.” Tara laughed, and Willow rolled her eyes. “So I was a nerdy four-year old.” Tara kept laughing, and Willow could finally breathe. “You know what?” she said, as she flopped back onto the bed. “What I really want right now is a nap. I promise you all the details over dinner if you let me nap until then.”

“Okay. Did you not sleep well?”

“Blech.” Willow kicked off her shoes. “We all crashed at Xander’s again, and since Buffy was on patrol, it was just me and Anya in the bed. I swear that girl is like an ideal gas when she sleeps: she expands to take up whatever space is available. And she snores. Loudly. In my ear.”

“Poor thing. It’s okay if you want to nap. I’ve got homework I can do until dinner.” Tara started to stand, but Willow caught her arm.

“No, don’t go.” Willow tugged on the captured arm. “Keep me company. I need to be snuggled,” she beseeched.

Tara shook her head gently, but pulled back the red blanket and knelt on her bed. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t encourage me.” Willow smiled gleefully at Tara, then rolled off the bed and pulled back the covers on her side. When she looked back up, Tara had a pillow aimed at her head. “Eek!” Willow dove onto the bed and under the covers, and the pillow missed. Willow still remembered where Tara knelt, and grabbed her around the calves to pull her down.

“Ah!” Tara fell forwards onto the bed. Even through the mess of blanket that now covered her, Willow could hear Tara’s laughter. Laughter was of the good. Tara had seemed nervous, even scared when Willow had left last night, so she was glad to see Tara in good spirits. Willow felt Tara’s weight shift on the bed, and heard a change in her laughter. Uh oh, that’s ‘I’m going to get you’ laughter. Now where did the edge of–

“Ack!” Willow’s hunt for escape from the blanket was abruptly interrupted by Tara pining her to the bed. A moment later, a tangle of covers rushed over the skin of Willow’s right arm and face.

“Gotcha.” Tara grinned madly down at Willow. Willow looked up at her captor, and for the first time that day took a minute to really look at her. Tara wore a billowy button-down, vibrant red shirt; it looked to be made of silk, and Willow remembered it being amazingly smooth and soft from when she held Tara’s arm a moment earlier, and now she wanted to touch it again. Most of the buttons were closed, so even from this vantage point Willow could only see as low as Tara’s collarbone, which suddenly was a disappointment. Her broad smile brought out the dimples on her face, on which there appeared to be no makeup. Willow could see from how the smile reached Tara’s eyes that she was delighted. Tara’s face was close enough that the hair that hung down from either side of her face brushed Willow’s cheeks. Even with the rest of the world blocked out, Willow felt complete: in Tara she’d found not only a friend and magic partner, but a much-needed playmate, and a handsome one at that.

“You’re really beautiful,” Willow said after several minutes of looking up at Tara. Tara, who had seemed content to look back down at Willow during those minutes (if anything, her smile had deepened as they stared in silence at one another), reacted with surprise: her eyes widened and her cheeks turned pink. Willow realized that while she had applied that adjective and its synonyms to Tara many times in her head, she’d never done so out loud. Still, Tara presumably saw herself in the mirror everyday; one would think she would have noticed this by now.

“N-n-no, not really.” As Tara shook her head, her hair swept across Willow’s face and tickled her nose.

“Yes really. I mean, I may not know that much, or anything, really, about what makes women attractive. But I hear that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Willow brought her free hand up to Tara’s cheek and gently rubbed it with her thumb. “To my eyes, you’re gorgeous.” With a smile, Willow slid her hand to the back of Tara’s neck and reached up to kiss away the shocked look on Tara’s face. The kiss was soft and sweet, each gentle as though the other was something delicate, like a rose. Yay, new moon kisses.

Eventually, Willow’s muscles gave out, and she leaned back onto the bed. Tara looked down at her, and repeatedly opened and closed her mouth, as if searching for something to say. After a moment, she ducked her head and gently nuzzled Willow’s nose with her own before she set her forehead on Willow’s and looked into her eyes. “You’re wonderful.”

Wonderful. The word filled Willow with a peace and completion she didn’t recognize. Studious and diligent and a Scooby were all who she was, but she lacked a why. She just was. But now she had a raison d'être: to be wonderful for Tara. Willow lost herself in Tara’s eyes as she let the feeling fill her, like a light chasing away the darkness from a room. When the feeling had consumed her, Tara’s gaze became too much, and Willow had to look away.

“So, uh, nap time?” Willow asked with a sudden, desperate need to put some space between herself and the intensity of the moment.

“Sure,” Tara agreed before she lifted her forehead off Willow’s and replaced it with a brief kiss. Tara moved off to the side, and helped Willow disentangle herself from the knot of covers she’d created earlier. Shortly thereafter, Willow lay next to Tara in the bed, with her head resting on Tara’s breast and Tara’s arm wrapped around her back.

As Willow willed herself to slow her breathing, she felt her heart pounding. Okay, depth of feeling for Tara: deep. Very deep. Like, can’t-touch-the-bottom-with-my-feet deep.

“It’s okay. You can relax,” Tara gently said. Willow hadn’t realized she was tense until Tara spoke. Tara followed her words by placing a kiss on the top of Willow’s head, and began to rub Willow’s back. “I’ve got you.”

Willow held onto those words, and cocooned in the warmth and safety of Tara, she swiftly drifted to sleep.

***

“Willow?”

“Mmmnghmm.”

“Willow, time to get up.”

“Nnn mmm.”

“Willow, it’s time to go to dinner.”

“Grrrrr.”

“Come on Willow, you have to eat.”

“Argh.”

“Fine, I’ll go without you.” A rush of cool air hit Willow’s body and for a split second she felt like she was falling. Once her head landed on the bed, she realized what had happened: Tara had pulled down the covers and then pulled herself out from under Willow. She still kept her eyes closed against the wakeful light of the room.

“This is not nearly as comfortable as Tara-snuggles, I’ll have you know.”

“Tough.” Tara’s weight on the bed shifted, and then left, like she had gotten up. When she spoke again, her voice was farther away. “I’m hungry, and I’m going to go eat. You’re free to stay if you like.”

Willow sat up, but wasn’t willing to give up on the eye-opening front quite yet. “But how will I get Tara-snuggles with you gone?” Tara clearly wasn’t making any sense.

“You won’t.”

“Well that’s no good.”

“So, get up--”

“Boo.”

“. . . come to dinner with me, and when we get back, there can be snuggles.” Willow heard Tara approach and felt a weight on the bed in front of her. Lips gently pressed a kiss onto the tip of her nose, and Willow finally opened her eyes. Tara knelt in front of her, a sweet smile on her face.

“Slave driver.”

“C’mon.” Tara rocked back onto her feet and extended her hands to help Willow up. With a roll of her eyes, Willow complied, and slid her shoes back on from where they had landed. As Willow approached the door to the room, Tara spoke in a low voice. “And Willow?”

“Yeah?” Willow stopped and turned to face Tara, who just kept advancing. There was an intense look in her eye Willow recognized, but didn’t understand (I’ve got to keep track of when she does that) as she looked Willow up and down. Willow took a few small steps backward before she found her back pressed into the door of the room. Tara’s hands came up and held Willow’s shoulders gently against the door. Willow gulped.

“There can be more than snuggles.” Tara pressed into Willow and kissed her fiercely. “If you want.” Desire coursed through Willow’s body in a flash fire, and she hungrily returned the kiss. Her body ached for Tara’s; it screamed at her for wasting precious hours pressed into Tara and napping, of all things. Willow grabbed Tara’s hips and pulled her in even tighter before she slid her hands back to caress and squeeze Tara’s ass. Willow didn’t want to go to dinner. Willow wanted to stay here, to unbutton Tara’s shirt, to pull down Tara’s black skirt, and . . . well, she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted after that, but she felt sure she’d figure it out once she’d removed Tara’s clothes.

And then it stopped.

Willow opened her eyes in search of the flash flood that had doused her passion. Tara stood a good two steps back into the room. Her cheeks were flushed, but otherwise looked as though nothing had happened. Willow blinked a few times, but Tara did not magically reappear in her arms, and instead stayed put, where she seemed to wait patiently.

“Shall we?” she asked in a maddeningly calm voice.

“Wu-what?” World does not compute.

“Dinner? It’s uh, downstairs? Unless you w-wanted to walk over to Burge.”

Willow shook her head, still unable to reconcile Tara’s calm demeanor and the lingering tingle on her skin everywhere Tara had been pressed into her. “No, Hillcrest has better food, anyway.”

“Then let’s.” With a nod to the door, Tara took a small step forward.

Still rather dumbfounded, Willow left the room with Tara close on her heels. Tara locked up and headed downstairs toward food service, and Willow followed her on autopilot.

Okay, didn’t peg Tara as the ‘total tease’ type. At least, I think that’s what was going on there. Is that what was going on there? Not that I understand what’s going on with the big picture here. With a frown, Willow considered Tara. Tara’s head was tilted down, and her hands were clasped behind her back. Willow had seen Tara hold her hands like that once before: after she had jumped at Tara’s touch in her dorm room yesterday. The memory made her conscious squirm: Tara had clearly been upset, and yet Willow found herself unable to offer a good explanation. What could I have said? “Sorry, Oz and I were intimate here, so you touching me while we’re here feels really weird? ” Willow’s frown deepened. Though Tara had generally been rather calm when Willow had spoken of Oz in the past, the thought of him made Willow uncomfortable, particularly when she was around Tara.

What on Earth am I doing? How far am I going to take this? How far is it right to take this? Oz and I had been together forever when we . . . I loved him. How far is it right to take this without loving her? I can’t be her Parker. Or Faith. Eww. She deserves better than that.

Willow was lost in her fears as she collected her food and followed Tara to a booth in the corner before she was able to push them away. Once seated, she looked down at her food and sighed. “Man, one thing I miss about living at home is my own kitchen.”

“You cook?”

“Everyone’s always surprised.” Willow shrugged. “I’m a really great cook, actually. I was a latch-key kid since I was in kindergarten, and started cooking myself dinner when I was about seven. It was either learn to cook or microwave myself hot pockets every single day. Plus, this way Xander got food that wasn’t delivered or cup ramen.” After she took a bite of her food, she continued. “See, they call this chicken and dumplings, but I disagree. Mine actually taste like chicken.”

“Tasty.”

“They really are. Some Sunday dinner, when the dining halls are closed, I’ll take you over to my house and make you dinner. Do like carrot cake? I make a mean carrot cake, too. Cream cheese icing? All from scratch, of course.”

“S-sounds like you’re quite the chef.”

“Well, it turns out that cooking and baking are a lot like chemistry. Well, technically, I found that out in the other order: that chemistry is a lot like cooking and baking. And magic is a lot like chemistry. It reminds me of this saying they have in psychology: ‘Psychology is really biology, biology is really chemistry, chemistry is really physics, physics is really math, and math really sucks.’ Now, that’s false, of course, because math is really awesome.” Tara laughed. “The rest, though, that all holds true.”

The conversation meandered for awhile before Willow looked around behind her (Tara sat with her back to the wall, just as she had the previous night) and, given no nearby eavesdroppers, related the story she’d heard last night: reports of Walsh’s death, Riley’s odd behavior, Buffy and Xander’s infiltration into the Initiative, Adam’s appearance, and Riley’s injury and presumed hospitalization in some unknown government facility.

“So, all in all, there’s a good chance that the spell wouldn’t have even helped last night, because there wasn’t a Polgara demon to be found. Buffy’s on patrolling hyper-drive looking for this thing, and it’s not like we have any way to research it. Then there’s the Initiative itself, which one of the scientists said isn’t out for Buffy or the rest of us, but Buffy won’t believe that until Riley’s released. So, we’re all staying at Xander’s still. Except since I have to be on campus all the time, I check in with Giles three times a day to let him know my plans, and if I need to go to Xander’s, he arranges for Buffy to meet me and she walks me. Otherwise, I’m responsible for staying safe on campus.”

“I-if you want to stay with me, you can.” Tara blushed and looked at the table. “I have a mostly empty drawer you can have.” The color in Tara’s cheeks reminded Willow of the first night she’d spent with Tara: how she’d wondered if Tara would offer her a drawer, of her certainty that their sleeping together would remain simply platonic. Her new uncertainty about just what kind of sleeping together they might do in the future reared its ugly head at the memory, and Willow shoved it away.

“That’d be great. Thanks.” Tara’s hand moved, and for a moment Willow thought Tara was reaching for hers, but instead she picked up her apple juice. They finished the rest of their meals in slightly uncomfortable silence. Willow couldn’t make up her mind as to whether it was Tara’s offer or her own acceptance that had changed the mood, but whatever it was, she hoped it stayed right here in the dining hall when they went back upstairs.

By the time they made it to Tara’s, Willow knew it was time for her to check in with Giles. What she didn’t know was if it was still okay to stay the night. Unfortunately, she couldn’t come up with a way to ask without bringing up that things had been uncomfortable.

“So,” Willow said once she pushed the door shut.

“So.”

“Are we . . .” Willow stopped to stare at her shoes. “Are we okay?” She held her breath.

Tara’s shoes came into view as Tara stepped quietly forward. “I-I’m okay if you’re okay.”

Slowly, Willow raised her head and let out her breath. Tara looked tense, but she held her head up. “Good, because I’m okay. I mean, if you’re okay. Then, then I’m okay.”

A small smile flickered on Tara’s face, but it left as soon as it appeared. “I’m uh, sorry. About earlier. If it, um, was presumptuous.”

“Tara?”

It was Tara’s turn to stare at her shoes. “I mean, I know o-offering you a drawer seems like a ‘couple’ thing, b-but I just want you to have somewhere you can actually rest.” Tara’s voice began to shake, but she continued. “I know this isn’t, um, dating. But, I’d have offered anyway. Even if we weren’t, uh, you know.”

“Tara.” Willow extended her arms cautiously, in hopes that Tara would accept a hug. She hated seeing Tara upset like this. Tara stepped forward into the embrace and Willow searched for answers as she held Tara close. What happened? Yesterday she made me lay out explicitly how I wanted to touch her. Before dinner she had me pressed up against the door and with the full-moon kisses. Now she can’t even say ‘kissing and stuff.’ What changed? We just went to dinner, where nothing happened . . . where I treated her like I used to. “Tara,” Willow whispered, “do you think that I’m ashamed about us touching?” Met with neither a nod nor a shake of the head, but a tightening of Tara’s grip, Willow continued. “I’m not. I’m sorry that I need this to be private right now, but it isn’t because I’m ashamed or embarrassed or anything.”

“Really?” Tara’s whisper barely made it to Willow’s ears.

“Really.” After Willow gave Tara a tight squeeze, she pulled back a bit and tipped Tara’s face up to look her in the eye, where Willow could see unshed tears pooled. “I care about you so much, and like I told you, I’m really interested in you, okay? You make me feel happy and safe and aroused and, yes, okay, confused, but never ashamed.” Tara shut her eyes, and Willow watched the tears run down her face. It hurt to see Tara cry, and Willow tried placing a light kiss on each of Tara’s eyelids. “Please Tara, you don’t have to cry. I’m sorry I made you sad.”

“Not sad, so much.” Tara slowly opened her eyes. “Afraid, really.”

“Well that’s silly,” Willow softly said as she brushed away Tara’s tears. “Because I am not in the least bit scary. I am the antithesis of scary.”

Tara smiled. “Th-that’s true.”

“If you want, I can call Giles, and tell him I’m staying on campus tonight. Then we can curl up in bed and snuggle or whatever you want. Okay?”

“I’d like that.” Willow pulled Tara tight again.

I’ve got you.

_________________
More of a dog person, myself.
I'm from Iowa, we drive four hours for a high school football game.
Queen of HeartsThe Sincerest Form of FlatteryDrabbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 10:46 pm 
Offline
11. Fish in the Bowl

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:35 pm
Posts: 1480
Topics: 2
Location: California
DIBS!!!

Kate,

A lot here. Their relationship has moved beyond the simpler give and take of yearning to a higher level of complexity. It’s multi-layered, confusing, real.

Enjoyed more backstory in Willow’s relationship with Xander, her cooking ability, and a slice of her scholastic life.

Your creating a believable explanation for Willow keeping Tara a secret beyond the obvious sexual issue of being Incognito/Inclosito. Appreciated the simile of diving and the resultant pressure changes between depths.

Quote:
“Really.” After Willow gave Tara a tight squeeze, she pulled back a bit and tipped Tara’s face up to look her in the eye, where Willow could see unshed tears pooled. “I care about you so much, and like I told you, I’m really interested in you, okay? You make me feel happy and safe and aroused and, yes, okay, confused, but never ashamed.” Tara shut her eyes, and Willow watched the tears run down her face. It hurt to see Tara cry, and Willow tried placing a light kiss on each of Tara’s eyelids. “Please Tara, you don’t have to cry. I’m sorry I made you sad.”

Very touching and very tender. The “unshed tears pooled” and the kiss on Tara’s eyelid moved me. More significantly, you are showing Tara's strength and her own boundaries, needs, and personhood. In the story, she appears to have very little self-will in Season 4 but you work skillfully with Canon yet show a much more equal and believable relationship.

Thank you for another interesting update, eager for more. :kgeek :kgeek :kgeek

Ariel


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 6:19 am 
Offline
8. Vixen
User avatar

Joined: Wed Dec 15, 2010 11:51 am
Posts: 893
Location: Kaskinen, Finland. Citizen of Kitopia
Yay for great update-y goodness... I really liked all the backstory stuff... I'm really glad how they slowly work themselves into a relationship... Can't wait for their next snuggle session...

_________________
We Few, We Happy Few, We Band of Buggered

Posting while nude improves your mood...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 11:29 am 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2010 8:53 pm
Posts: 244
Location: the space between Here and There
l love that Tara has more confidence and a more defined sense of self. On the show, especially season 4, Tara always seemed secondary to Willow, lik she was only one facet of her character. Tara is more confident, yet she retains that vulnerability that made us fall in love with her in the first place.

_________________
Did Curiousity kill the cat because Schrodinger opened the box?

My heart and I have wandered aimlessly beneath the Weeping Willows, searching for the sun. - Hayley Westenra, "My heart and I"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:43 am 
Offline
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:39 pm
Posts: 17
Location: united states
Oh god, this chapter was wonderful. Gah, I've forgotten what it feels like to read WIP fics.

There is so much to focus on here. I really love Willow's thoughts as she entered Tara's room. The diving analogy was wonderfully done.

I'm glad Tara didn't stay quiet about her fears for long, and I just love how perfectly this is meshing with the show. I feel like I could watch the episodes, pause for each chapter, and they would just mesh together perfectly.

My absolute favorite part was the repeating of "I've got you." I like that they both used it, and were aware that the other person both needed reassurance at different times.

And finally:
Quote:
I hope you still like the story just as much as I continue to shake Tara's confidence.


See, that's the beauty of this going along with the episodes, I know how it will end.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 2:27 am 
Offline
3. Flaming O
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:27 pm
Posts: 112
Topics: 1
Location: freeport, IL
hey! finally took a break so i could leave a reply, i've been horribly neglectful in the reply department since i started. i just get so absorbed in the reading...
i'm really enjoying your work. you have a genuine way with the fine details that's hard to come by. i love seeing willow and tara portrayed with such depth and intricacy, it is a truely mesmerizing experience. (if the time on my post is any indication.)
this is an exquisite piece and i am eagerly awaiting the revelation of more of their "missing moments", as i like to call them.
it really is exceptional work, thank you for sharing.

p.s. nice avatar ;-)

_________________
if it's not real, you can't hold it your hands; you can't feel it with your heart, then i won't believe it. but if it's true you can see it with your eyes, even in the dark; and that's where i want to be. 'brick by boring brick' -paramore


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 5:58 am 
Offline
13. Big Knowledge Woman
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 5:28 pm
Posts: 1721
Topics: 1
Location: Ohio
Hi again. So glad to see an update. Many things going on here. With all the ups and downs in this "relationship", glad to see a little more explanation on Willow's part. She went through such a crappy time with the Oz thing, with the cheating, the leaving, etc., it's no wonder she's still conflicted with so many things, (i.e. in her room where they were once intimate -- yeah, that has a creep factor and may take some time to work through and get over), and that's really not something that would be easy at all to talk to Tara about right now, or maybe ever.

Nice that Willow realizes she has deep feelings going on. She just needs to work through so much to actually admit what those feelings are. But I like this part because it does show how much she cares for Tara.

Quote:
I can’t be her Parker. Or Faith. Eww. She deserves better than that.


Yes, she does, and I'm glad Willow realizes that. She doesn't want to jump into having sex yet until she can admit her feelings and it feels right for both of them.

The talk at the end was pretty heartbreaking, but I'm glad they cleared the air that Willow isn't ashamed, but mostly confused. Like I said, she still has a lot to work through. But I still feel so bad for Tara, and she actually admits that she's afraid. You know, they didn't go into depth regarding what exactly was going on early between them on the show, but you're doing an amazing job of giving us that. That poor girl had to be so torn up until Willow finally got the Oz closure. Thank God!

Great job again. More soon please.


Wimpy

_________________
Pam aka Wimpy0729
Restlessness ~ Quickies - The Lovers, The Dreamers & Me

"There was plenty of magic." ~~ Tara


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:27 am 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey
User avatar

Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:10 pm
Posts: 169
yeah an update, thanks for continuing :blush


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 3:38 pm 
Offline
2. Floating Rose

Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 8:23 pm
Posts: 22
Oh thank you so much for continuing with this story -- this is one of my favorite stories on the Kitten Board. Your writing is wonderful.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 7:07 pm 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 15, 2010 7:17 pm
Posts: 654
Location: The Land of Flowers
I agree, thank goodness for an update. This chapter was, as many have mentioned, layered and nuanced, just beautiful. I feel like these two are strong as steel cable one moment and fragile as snowflakes the next. The moment with their passion at the door was enough to make my heart skip a beat, and then you broke it when Tara wept. Ariel described it perfectly--like sinking through different levels on a dive, each with its own beauty, but ever more dangerous.

_________________
Wave ... The Wish of Three Hearts
The Yuletide Present ... In From the Cold

"We're in love. We're lovers. We're lesbian, gay-type lovers."


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:53 am 
Offline
2. Floating Rose
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 19, 2010 6:43 am
Posts: 29
Location: UK
I must say that I'm enjoying this story very much. Characters' behaviour never looks forced and the way you are writing W/T's relationship as it progresses is so sweet. Eager for more, please keep writing!

_________________
Sanity is not statistical.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:30 pm 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:31 am
Posts: 619
Topics: 10
Location: San Diego, CA
Feedback: Mmm, mmm, good.

@Ariel Gratz on your dibs!
Quote:
Their relationship has moved beyond the simpler give and take of yearning to a higher level of complexity. It’s multi-layered, confusing, real.

Thanks! I've been setting this complexity up in the background for a long time, and I think it's really paying off. I'm so happy that this chapter in particular went well, because it started as a list of things that had to happen before chapter 4 began, and I was worried it would feel like a series of signposts.

I like writing backstory because I'm basically the same age as the Scoobies: they're only a year ahead of me, so I had a lot of the same cultural experiences as they did at the same point my life. Like, seriously, how many people actually watched Wishbone? If you weren't the right age (/have kids the right age), or didn't watch PBS, there's no way. But it's such a Willow thing. Also I wanted to make Willow a good cook because dammit, no one ever does, even though it makes total sense that she'd be an amazing cook.

I'm glad you liked the tenderness at the end. I really remember this stage of an early relationship, where the other person's opinion and feelings matter so much, but at the same time it's really easy to misstep and seriously upset her. It's exciting and dangerous and sexy and exhausting.

Tara's personhood really matters me, because you see so little of it in season 4 that you don't get a good grasp of why Willow has fallen in love with this person. It's a lot of fun to take season 6 Tara and rewind to who she must have been at this point.

Also, I need the disposable income to learn to dive while I live in San Diego.

@zampsa19752001 Glad you enjoyed! Backstory is so much fun to write, because I can make up whatever the hell I want. Muah hah hah. More snuggles below!

@Promthea128 Tara's confidence and sense of self is something that I really spent a lot of time outlining in her character notes before I started writing. I see her as someone who's only contextually confident, and that context changes as she matures over the course of the show. In this chapter and beyond includes Tara outside of her haven and with other people, and I that confidence level is really going to drop in those situations.

@lavenderangel Not only is the goal so that you could alternate between the show and these sections, that is in a very real way how I write them. I have the scripts bookmarked, too, but it isn't as orienting as watching the episodes. Of course, it takes a lot of scanning through non-relevant scenes to do efficiently. I don't feel too bad about it, though, given I've watched the full episodes an embarrassment of times.
Quote:
My absolute favorite part was the repeating of "I've got you."

I really liked that, too. I'm a sucker for parallel structure and all those other things they tell you about in English class.

@indigokane Hey, thanks for taking time from your reading schedule to comment. :) I know what that's like. (Like when I read "Van Rosenberg" it was as if the world stopped for two days.) Thanks so much for the kind words about my writing.

@wimpy0729 Glad to clear things up a little on the "what Willow's feeling" front; after two long chapters with Tara, she really needed a chance to explain.
Quote:
Yes, she does, and I'm glad Willow realizes that. She doesn't want to jump into having sex yet until she can admit her feelings and it feels right for both of them.

I'm really interested in what Willow's going through right now, because I think it's part of becoming an adult: when is it okay to sleep with someone? She has friends who have been through bad one-night stands, not to mention the Buffy/Angel badness. But what about the space in the middle, where you really care about someone without identifying it as love? I think that's a much more confusing space, and that's why it's so interesting for Willow to be in it.

@edob You betcha. Here's more!

@nanotech :blush

@LonelyTara Thanks for the kind words. I was thinking about what you said about strong/delicate, and I think of them like diamonds: hit them on most faces, and they're very strong, but hit them in the wrong plane and they crack. Which I decided was a totally awesome simile and is going to have to make an appearance at some point.

@Agilulfa Thanks so much. Here's the requested more!

_________________
More of a dog person, myself.
I'm from Iowa, we drive four hours for a high school football game.
Queen of HeartsThe Sincerest Form of FlatteryDrabbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:30 pm 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:31 am
Posts: 619
Topics: 10
Location: San Diego, CA
Author: BeMyDeputy (Kate)
Rating: PG-13 for this section (for sexiness). Up to NC-17 for later installments.
Feedback: Yes! Please! Are you reading and don’t have more than “I like this”? Fine, post that! Disagree terribly with my portrayal of the characters? Fine, post that, but I reserve the right to defend them. Supposedly sexy parts not sexy? Bitch! This is my first major fiction piece, so rip it up. If you just write “you suck,” I’ll ignore you.
Notes: The entirety of Chapter 4, including "Out of Bounds" takes place across "This Year's Girl" and "Who Are You?"
Spoilers: This is season 4. If you haven't seen season 4, what are you doing here?
Content disclaimer (this section) : Sex: No. Angst: Yes.
I Don't Own This Disclaimer: The entire Buffyverse (including setting, characters, and plot) is property of its owners, including but not limited to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement is intended by this work. "This Year's Girl" was written by Douglas Petrie and "Who Are You?" was written by Joss Whedon.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to my awesome beta reader, dlline, who always pushes me in the right direction.


Chapter 4 Part 1:Out of Bounds

Once Willow checked in with Giles, Tara curled up against Willow in the bed, her head gently resting on Willow’s chest. She was there and available to give Tara whatever she needed, but as Tara continued to cuddle close without speaking, Willow guessed that Tara just wanted a chance to calm down.

After about an hour of stroking Tara’s hair in silence, Willow felt Tara’s head shift and then a familiar but totally distinct pressure on her chest.

“Tara?” The pressure stopped.

“Yes?”

“Are you, um, trying to tell me something?” Silence. But the pressure came back. “Because if you are . . .” Willow sucked in a deep breath as Tara’s head shifted again and the pressure found its way to a now-stiffening nipple “. . . it’s working.” Tara looked up, a smug look on her face.

“Is that so?” Tara ran her hand, which had been resting on Willow’s hip since they lay down, up Willow’s side and over to the unattended breast. “What am I trying to tell you?”

“That you’re interested in more than snuggles?”

“Maaaybe.”

“Well, if you aren’t, might I suggest that you’re going about it the wrong way?”

“Is that so?”

“It is. It turns out that you kissing—okay, and pinching, and oh, look, biting—my nipples, does not in fact make me want to snuggle.”

“Well, what does it make you want to do?”

“This.” In a smooth movement, she rolled Tara onto her back and herself on top of Tara.

“Oh, is that all?” Tara challenged.

“No.” Willow pushed herself up a few inches and looked into Tara’s eyes. That look is back. The look from the door. No matter how innocent it had been, Tara’s body pressed against her for the past hour had had a profound effect. Willow was now acutely aware of how wet she had become, and the look in Tara’s eyes only made it increase. Willow softly licked Tara’s lips and kissed them, then moved down half inch and repeated the actions. Willow looped the behavior: first she gently licked a small patch of Tara’s skin, then she kissed the same patch passionately, and finally she moved down again. She moved down Tara’s neck, luxuriating in the soft feel of her skin and the vibrations that flowed into her lips as Tara moaned above her. When she got to the top of Tara’s silk shirt, she searched for the top button with a hand while kissing the top of Tara’s sternum, and seamlessly integrated the command “unbutton shirt” into her actions. Willow smiled when she felt Tara’s hand resting on her head, fingers twining in her hair. As she met valley between Tara’s breasts, she began to linger a little longer with each kiss, but continued her downward trek. When she encountered a white cotton bra that kept her mouth from Tara’s sternum, she pushed it up and out of her way rather than trying to reach under Tara’s back. Willow continued down across Tara’s stomach, and when reached Tara’s belly button, she cautiously poked in her tongue. Met with one of the seven distinct happy noises Willow had already identified (though she still needed time and practice to classify them into “keep doing that,” “more,” and “harder”), and a not-so-gentle push on her head, she repeated the action more boldly.

By this point Willow had maneuvered her body so that she lay on the bed perpendicular to Tara. Her right hand had drifted up to caress Tara’s breast, while her left reached across Tara and held her hip. Once she had spent a few minutes making sure that Tara’s navel was quite clean, she continued along her path along Tara’s midline. As her lips brushed the hem of Tara’s skirt, Willow lingered again, filled with the need to map every square inch of Tara’s stomach with her lips. First, though, her fingers found their way to Tara’s nipple. Willow squeezed, and heard Tara gasp. Without a thought, she dipped her tongue below Tara’s skirt and felt the top of her panties against the tip. Willow felt Tara’s hand come down and pick it up from where it rested on Tara’s hip and begin to move it. The marvelous feel of Tara showing her what she wanted shot through Willow’s body from her hand to her clit, which throbbed in response.

As Tara pressed Willow’s hand onto her body, an unidentified happy noise filled Willow’s ears. It was low and throaty, bordering on a growl. The novel sound filled Willow with want and distracted from reality for a moment, but it soon came crashing back.

Hand.

Hand pressed into crotch.

I shouldn't do this without loving her.

I shouldn't want this without loving her.


Willow pulled away quickly and backed to the edge of the bed. Her body screamed its want, its desire for the body she was pulling away from. No. Be quiet. She tightly grabbed the edge of the mattress to keep her hands from betraying her. Willow opened her mouth to speak, to apologize, but her eyes landed on Tara’s face and the sight broke her heart: it was painted with shock and fear, and tears once again resided in her eyes. Tara looked away as Willow met her eyes, and pulled a pillow over her half-bare chest.

“I-I-I’m sorry.”

“What?” Willow’s mind was spinning. Why is she apologizing?

“Y-you said the line was at ‘pants removal,’ s-so I thought that w-would be okay.” Tara turned her head to face the ceiling as she closed her eyes, and for the second time that night it squeezed out tears. Willow watched helplessly as they ran down the side of Tara’s face, by her ears, and finally dropped to the pillow under her head. “O-obviously I was wr-wrong.”

“Tara, you didn’t do anything wrong. It was me, I’m bad. I’m a bad, bad person.” The panic in her own voice only made Willow more anxious, and she felt ready to cry herself.

“Willow?” Tara sat up, pillow still clutched to her chest, and looked closely at Willow. The frightened look had completely given way to concern. She reached her hand slowly towards Willow. “Why are you afraid? What do you think you did wrong?”

Willow took the offered hand and tried to explain. “It’s just that you deserve so much, and I don’t know what I’m feeling. I try to understand about how much I feel about you, but it’s so huge. I need a foothold, a place to start, but I can’t find Ararat, let alone send out ravens and doves.”

“Doves? Ararat? Ara—wait, Genesis?”

“Yeah, well, Jewish. I think “too big to understand” and my mind goes to the flood.”

“What kind of not understanding? Like, you don’t understand that you feel this much about a girl?” Willow didn’t feel like Tara was judging her with the question: her voice was soft and kind, and her face was open and understanding.

“No, not that. At least, if that’s in there, it’s minor. It’s more that I don’t know what it is. I care about you a lot, but I don’t know any more than that. And when I try to think about it when I’m not here, it’s hard to try to figure out anything because it’s such a big problem space, and when I’m here everything just feels so good that I just want to ride the waves and Goddess if I could please stop coming up with metaphors that were wet my body might have an easier time shutting up.”

Tara blushed at the last comment, but Willow watched some of the tension leave her body. “Okay, so you don’t know how to classify what you feel. Why does that make you feel afraid?”

“It’s just . . . look, Xander’s first time he was totally used by this two-faced bitch.” Willow stared down at her lap. “I don’t want to do anything like that to you.” The tears finally came then; hot and swift they ran down her face and fell unwanted onto her hands.

Tara squeezed her hand tightly before letting it go, only to discard the pillow and move to Willow’s side. Willow felt herself being gently lifted onto Tara’s lap. A part of her was surprised at just how strong Tara was, but mostly she reveled in Tara holding her close.

“You don’t have to worry about that, sweetie. You couldn’t do that.”

Willow looked up at the term of endearment, but needed to let Tara see she was wrong. “But, I could. Maybe not yet, but . . . Tara, I’m really attracted to you, and touching you feels so good and I get caught up in it and--”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant, Willow, I can see how much you care about me. Not only do you show me every day, it’s part of your soul.” Tara put her hand over Willow’s heart. “I can see it, remember?” Tara kissed Willow’s forehead. “That’s enough for me. I’m not going into this blind, Willow. I’m a big girl. I can make my own choices about what I want to do with my body.”

“Wait, are you saying that you’d--” Eyes wide, Willow clasped her hand over her mouth as she realized what she was saying. That was not appropriate to ask. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. Forget I said it.”

Tara turned red, but her voice was steady. “It’s okay, Willow. I did just try to put your hand . . . it’s a fair question.” Tara took a deep breath, and the color on her cheeks faded some. “Yes. If you wanted to, I would.” Tara slowly ran her fingers through Willow’s hair. “I . . . I really care about you, and you’re not the only one afraid of getting caught up in how good the touching feels. So yes, I would.” Willow looked up at Tara, amazed by how Tara could speak so freely about this. Something about Willow’s look seemed to put Tara off, though, because a moment later Tara looked away. “I, uh, h-hope that was okay to say. I mean, I wouldn’t have, if you hadn’t asked.”

Willow reached up and turned Tara’s head back to face her. “Of course it was. I just . . . you’re so honest and open. I like that. I have a hard time with that.” Suddenly something dawned on Willow. “So, you would, even if I . . .” don’t love you? She couldn’t bring herself to finish the question out loud; to say such a thing would be cruel.

“I don’t know what it is you’re feeling any better than you do, Willow. But I do know that it’s big and intense. Like I said, that’s enough for me.” Willow opened her mouth, but couldn’t find the right words. This was one of those times when the right words mattered.

They sat in silence for several minutes before Tara spoke again. “We’ve each had a stressful evening. Do you want to call it a night?”

“Yeah. I think that’s a good idea.” Willow turned her head to the side, and pressed a kiss over Tara’s heart. “It’d be okay if you wanted to sleep with your shirt open, though. Your skin feels nice.”

“If I can take yours off, I think we have a deal.”

“Deal.”

_________________
More of a dog person, myself.
I'm from Iowa, we drive four hours for a high school football game.
Queen of HeartsThe Sincerest Form of FlatteryDrabbles


Last edited by BeMyDeputy on Sun Feb 27, 2011 3:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:49 pm 
Offline
11. Fish in the Bowl

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:35 pm
Posts: 1480
Topics: 2
Location: California
DIBS!!
Biab!

Hi Kate,

We had just gotten in from visiting NYC and seeing some shows. I immediately got home and jumped on the KB (you know you’re addicted to the Kittenboard when . . . ) and I saw your story and actually Dibs-ed it! (You’re the grammarian, is that a word? Lol)

THEN a friend called and I became exhausted after that and in no fit state to comment appropriately. So my biab got longer. :blush

The idea of Willow stroking Tara’s hair in silence for an hour is very touching. Willow is not given to silence without a specific task to focus on, so her feelings for Tara show very clearly yet are expressed subtly.

Quote:
“It is. It turns out that you kissing—okay, and pinching, and oh, look, biting—my nipples, does not in fact make me want to snuggle.”

“Well, what does it make you want to do?”

“This.” In a smooth movement, she rolled Tara onto her back and herself on top of Tara.

“Oh, is that all?” Tara challenged.

LOVE sexy and aggressive Tara and Willow’s exciting response.

Then the guilt spiral, the idea of hurting and using someone. Almost all of us have experienced the guilt of unequal love in one relationship or another yet it is seldom dealt with except at its most basic level where one leaves or betrays the other. Here you show it as part of the process of revelation, of becoming the true and forever lovers that they grow to become.

Quote:
Willow took the offered hand and tried to explain. “It’s just that you deserve so much, and I don’t know what I’m feeling. I try to understand about how much I feel about you, but it’s so huge. I need a foothold, a place to start, but I can’t find Ararat, let alone send out ravens and doves.”

“Doves? Ararat? Ara—wait, Genesis?”

“Yeah, well, Jewish. I think “too big to understand” and my mind goes to the flood.”

Beautiful, affecting reference! But my comment here is in regards to how skillfully you filled in the gaps for folks who don’t have a bible background or who don’t remember the name of the mountain. Any intelligent reader can gather meaning from context, but this reference needed a bit more and you provided it gracefully.

Quote:
“Yeah. I think that’s a good idea.” Willow turned her head to the side, and pressed a kiss over Tara’s heart. “It’d be okay if you wanted to sleep with your shirt open, though. Your skin feels nice.”

“If I can take yours off, I think we have a deal.”

“Deal.”

:love So much to love here. The kiss placed over Tara’s heart, Willow liking the feel of Tara’s skin, and the funny deal making; love’s awkward, endearing negotiations. Bit by by bit, Willow is inching along the road to revelation and you are creating an extraordinary journey.

Thank you.

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother


Last edited by Ariel on Fri Feb 25, 2011 10:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 7:02 am 
Offline
8. Vixen
User avatar

Joined: Wed Dec 15, 2010 11:51 am
Posts: 893
Location: Kaskinen, Finland. Citizen of Kitopia
Yay for great update-y goodness... Yay for exploring hands... I'm glad that both of them confessed that they are close officially saying those 3 magical words...

_________________
We Few, We Happy Few, We Band of Buggered

Posting while nude improves your mood...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 8:24 am 
Offline
10. Troll Hammer

Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:08 pm
Posts: 1120
Topics: 1
Location: Easton PA
I really l;ove Willow's reasoning here, and Tara's response almost as much.

(Hee-hee, you have the same name as my daughter; she's 20 and got me into BtVS)

_________________
Snapshots:http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 9:54 am 
Offline
13. Big Knowledge Woman
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 5:28 pm
Posts: 1721
Topics: 1
Location: Ohio
Oh, my, the snuggles were nice, then got even better, then everything got all turvy topsy. I really hate to see them upset and crying, but I'm so glad they had this much-needed talk. Willow let her know that she really cared for her and didn't want her to feel like she was just using her. But I liked Tara's response about what she thought about both of their feelings --big and intense, and that's good enough for her. That sums it up very nicely. Once Willow is done with all this over-analyzing, she just needs to let herself feel and not worry so much. I hope Tara's reassurance here will help with that.

And of course, topless snuggles are the best. ;-) More soon please.


Wimpy

_________________
Pam aka Wimpy0729
Restlessness ~ Quickies - The Lovers, The Dreamers & Me

"There was plenty of magic." ~~ Tara


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 4:24 pm 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2010 8:53 pm
Posts: 244
Location: the space between Here and There
Apparently my brain has shut down for the weekend, because I can't find any thing intelligent or coherent to say. Still really liking it, though.

_________________
Did Curiousity kill the cat because Schrodinger opened the box?

My heart and I have wandered aimlessly beneath the Weeping Willows, searching for the sun. - Hayley Westenra, "My heart and I"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:58 am 
Offline
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:39 pm
Posts: 17
Location: united states
This will be slightly tipsy feedback, be forewarned. Gah, I adored this update. I think you're transitioning them to a more physical relationship really well, especially given what you have to work with. I really like that they can o to intense kissing to analyzing their relationship in less than a minute.

I found it especially interesting that Tara went from mortified to concerned for Willow so quickly. Her shift in confidence is really telling, it will be so interesting to see her really out of her element later in this chapter.

Now I need to go read the part about biting nipples again. :P


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:50 am 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:01 pm
Posts: 184
Every update was a blessing and a curse, as the pages progressed... as I worked my way down... as I approached the end... as I began feeling like a small child who's been deprived of its favorite toy.... tears loom on the horizon...

I can't even begin to express how awesome this story is. All of what I said earlier about your wit and flow applies, as well as totally ridiculously excellent times of the spectacular variety.

I also find your take on Tara very interesting. I do kind of disagree with it, and I must admit that I was initially taken aback by how damn forward she was about it all. It was very mature and, uh, full of positive energy, BUT even a fool would agree that it's not in keeping with what we saw during the episodes. TRUE, we were blocked out of Tara's room for the most part, and when they were there Tara was always much more comfortable. I saw you trying to justify your Tara vision, and it absolutely worked. I just wanted to say that I disagree. Doesn't mean I don't think she changed throughout the series (she obviously did), doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the fic to the utmost degree...

Finally, I just wanted to say that I have been, for my entire adult life (let's see, started when I was 17 in 2007...), in pursuit of the perfect season four filler fic. You have done it. I have found it. My life is complete.
As long as you update every day.

Sorry if that was too much wind. It's late.

P.S. 100th post! A momentous occasion.

EDIT:
I just re-read most of this fiction, and once again, wow.
Also, I've been thinking about the most recent part a lot, particularly the part where Tara says she's down for sex even if Willow doesn't say that she's - or doesn't FEEL - in love with her. The focus for me is less on Willow's feelings, which are understandably conflicted and confounded, and more on the decision Tara's making.
Let's be honest: Tara is letting her lust take over. The aura thing is convenient, but by no means is it a perfect indicator; by saying that she wants everything from Willow despite Willow herself not knowing what *she* wants, she's saying that she's completely willing to open her heart to something that is neither committed nor completely honest. That is a whole world of hurt that she genuinely has no idea about.
SO, what should Willow do? Unlike Tara, she is actually aware of the acute suffering that's involved when someone you love leaves you. Sure, she doesn't KNOW Tara loves her - but there's no doubt in my mind that she's got a good idea of it. There are twenty different alarm bells ringing in Willow's head right now, most of which have the label "Wants to keep Tara safe and happy."

Willow SHOULD NOT sleep with Tara before New Moon.
New Moon is kind of a long time from now. Right now is Goodbye Iowa; we've got more than a month Buffy-time before New Moon (although of course New Year's Girl and Who Are You make the timeline a bit less clear).
They've already peeled off quite a number of clothing items. Their bodies are learning to sing together - unless some serious intervention occurs, alarm bells be damned, this WILL happen, both directions and in many positions. Willow may or may not say the magic words, but it's much more cinematic if she doesn't UNTIL New Moon. (Otherwise it's just... super depressing that Tara would let Willow go so easily. That shouldn't happen. Neither should sex.)

sooo... it appears you've written yourself into a nice little situation: "How to put on the breaks?" Is Willow really that noble? What about later on this month (after all, women have "moon cycles" just as well as Oz did, let's not forget)?

As I said, a situation.

Please don't go Neverland on us all... you can't justify it.
/edit


Last edited by KnightlyLove on Tue Jan 07, 2014 9:32 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:58 pm 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:02 pm
Posts: 220
Location: England
Hi Kate,

I was going to quote all the lines I particularly admired from the last two updates but then I realised this reply would be almost as long as the text itself.

Your writing is very dense. By that I mean you pack so much that is both thought-provoking and lovely into crisp, clear prose. I’ve read both updates several times and see something new on each re-read.

I wonder why Willow is so hesitant to identify her feelings as love? Would she be holding back in this way if she had never met Oz? Her confusion is canon, I know, and I think it makes Season 4 so interesting. Perhaps she is analysing desperately in an attempt to avoid the devastation she felt when he left. Or to avoid inflicting that on Tara. I’m really looking forward to seeing how you write her unfolding understanding.

Tara’s relative forwardness, (behind closed doors), makes sense to me because she is far less conflicted. And Willow’s being held back by her sense of honour is absolutely in character.

Great updates. Thank you.

Clare


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:32 pm 
Offline
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:31 am
Posts: 619
Topics: 10
Location: San Diego, CA
April Fools!



In all seriousness, I haven't abandoned this; the next update is just a little complex. And long. It's on it's way, I promise.

_________________
More of a dog person, myself.
I'm from Iowa, we drive four hours for a high school football game.
Queen of HeartsThe Sincerest Form of FlatteryDrabbles


Last edited by BeMyDeputy on Sun Nov 11, 2012 8:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:44 pm 
Offline
6. Sassy Eggs
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 9:11 am
Posts: 415
:smash :smash :smash

_________________
RC

"I'm not apologizing for what I did, I'm apologizing for what I didn't do" ~ Violet, Bound


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 12:21 am 
Offline
4. Extra Flamey
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:01 pm
Posts: 184
Kate.
You may just be the devil.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 9:22 am 
Offline
6. Sassy Eggs

Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 9:43 am
Posts: 434
:smash :smash :smash :kdevil :kdevil :kdevil

It appears BeMyDeputy has been possessed by a prankster spirit. Does anybody know how to perform an exorcism?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 9:46 am 
Offline
10. Troll Hammer

Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:08 pm
Posts: 1120
Topics: 1
Location: Easton PA
I'm wondering as well, now, when do you conceive of their going all the way? (My own idea is somehwere after "Who Are You?" but before "Where the Wild Things Are." Altho my fic on the subject didn't mention an exact timeframe.)

_________________
Snapshots:http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 12:51 pm 
Offline
32. Kisses and Gay Love
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:35 am
Posts: 9572
Topics: 7
Location: Texas, Y'all
Daddycatalso - jw says it was during or before who are you.

_________________
Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 210 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

All times are UTC - 8 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

W/T Love 24/7 since July 2000
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group