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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 8:30 am 
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20. Not one Much for the Timber
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This truly is a Christmas miracle. *sniffs* :p

I'll be back for less smart ass and more insightful commentary after the holiday cobwebs clear my brain. Thanks for keeping your promise! Happy holidays!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 11:40 am 
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11. Fish in the Bowl

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Hey, Kate!

Wow, you did it! Like Lexi says, if public declarations, promises and assorted sacred vows work, then YESSSSSS!!!! We've found a way to get more QofH! *cue triumphant maniacal laugh* Also, thanks for acknowledging the alpha help - I was proud to be asked.

Liked the opening and Willow's "date/not date" debate with herself and expecting her reflection to throw its arms up in surrender - funny and very true to her character. Then this:
Quote:
run.program(Danger!DangerWillRosenberg!)
Immediate threat detected Y/N?
N->GoTo Next
Proximal threat detected Y/N?
N->GoTo Next
Buffy nearby Y/N?
N->Increase Concern. GoTo Next
Evaluate(location)
Bed. Dorm room. Stevenson Hall. UaC Sunnydale.
Evaluate(probability(incoming.danger)given(location))
Low->GoTo End
Relax and assess
A salute to hackers everywhere!

Basically, the story is rich, layered and full of detail that I find utterly delightful. Your attention to detail is incredible. You take the necklace Tara actually wears in the scene and layer it parts of it being between Willow's teeth during lovemaking. You've noted the movement in their hand touching and support it with your prose.

I like the idea of Willow's brain spitting out Faith's name. Yes, Willow hates Faith and your phrase nails it concisely and powerfully.

I got the codfish reference to "Mary Poppins" and thought it was funny. I'm curious about how many other people got it. I also like the idea that Tara, who grew up with magic, might have seen Mary Poppins as someone she could aspire to. I know I had a crush on her (Mary Poppins as played by Julie Andrews) when I was a little girl.

Willow's planning that she and Tara wouldn't be seen by her friends is believable. Of course I don't admire her for it, but I do understand it and it's logical. Your work motivating Willow's dialogue with 'Buffy' is believable. Good job.

Lovely cliff-hanger - you take an episode I've seen uncounted times and still hit me at the end like it's a surprise ending - love that freshness and power!

And, after getting this wonderful story, I have the GALL to demand more! Yes! Yes! Yes! I am dying to read the next bit which I am sure will be from Tara's POV.

So, write on! :kgeek :whip :kgeek :whip :kgeek : :whip :kgeek :whip <=Motivation for you and assorted alphas and the Awesome dline!

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother
And please thank dline for her amazingly fast turn-around! :applause :applause :applause So what are you waiting for? WRITE!!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts
PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 1:57 pm 
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9. Gay Now
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Yay for great update-y goodness... I liked Willow's inner debate over date/no date with Tara...

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (23 Dec 11)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 3:31 pm 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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Kate – Hmmm. NC-17. Well, yes it is but not what I was expecting/hoping for when you chatted me that you’d posted a NC-17. My fault really. I know the timeline and the canon and clearly they didn’t have sex with each other before going to the Bronze but I just got so distracted that I … wasn’t thinking.

Quote:
“This is totally not a date.”
Lol re: Your takes on Sasette’s Vignettes thing. Isn’t that great one called “Totally a date” or something to that effect?

Quote:
I mean, it's obvious. You’ve carefully picked your outfit to look hot for a girl. You've spent the entire day considering said girl as a potential sexual partner - all being completely orthogonal to whether or not you asking said girl to go dancing with you is a date.
The voice in Willow’s head sounds a bit like Anya here. Tee hee.

Ok. I have to admit that I’m not a big fan of masturbatory scenes. In many ways. I’ve written (I think) one because basically I felt that I needed to do it to grow but beyond that. Not a big personal excitement for me. So I’ll say this… You do a good job of it. Not too clinical. Not too cheesy. Nice interspersing Tara thoughts with Willow actions.

Quote:
Willow caught the smell on her hand as she paced, and she looked at it in horror. “No, I just . . . .” She looked from her hand to her bed and back again. “Bad. Bad, bad, with the me and the . . . and the thinking about Tara, and now I’m going to put pressure on her and . . . no.”
Ok. If I’m reading this right, I now want to smack Willow just a little bit. Dear Willow. Dear people of the world. What goes on in your head while you rub one out is completely up to you. It doesn’t abuse anyone. It doesn’t violate them. Enjoy. Imagine whatever you want. Rockettes. Barney. Whatever. I’m not saying that I might not think you’re sick or weird but it’s in your head. Enjoy!

Quote:
“Faith’s gone!”
I love that you slipped this excitement in here. It’s hard to think of cannon and place yourself at a point of relief over this knowing what we know. But she doesn’t. She’s happy that Faith is “gone” so there it is.

Quote:
“Faith tends to hurt the people I care about the most.” Willow kissed Tara’s forehead. “That category includes you.”
A sweet sentiment and also a bit narcissistic. I would say that Faith tends to hurt the people Buffy cares about the most. It happens that Buffy and Willow’s friends/family circles overlap heavily in the Venn diagram.

Quote:
“Are we a codfish?”
How very Mary Poppins

Bronze – I love love love this scene because you really play it out from Willow’s Pov. It’s very true to cannon and I also love when we get to read the scene from Tara’s pov. It’s one of those things that you have to play back in your head when you rewatch that scene because instead of Tara hurt and shy over Baith being an asshole, you have Tara knowing right off that Buffy’s not right and about to totally bust her ass!

I absolutely love this:
Quote:
“So we’ve never met?” Buffy asked Tara, who merely shook her head. “Okay. Cool. I’m having a thing with names.”
I mean it’s like there’s Faith relieved to pass another test and not fail meeting someone she already knew. We watched something recently and I can’t remember what it was where the person like lasted days and days pretending to be in some situation and feeling their way along and it was just so unbelievable. I can’t remember what it was now.

I’m guessing and assuming and hoping that we’re about to switch to Tara’s pov? Also that we’ll read the floating O scene only metaphorically or will we read it … NC-17 style? Anyway, up to you and you don’t have to tell me.

Either way, this is excellent and thanks for getting it written and posted.

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (23 Dec 11)
PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:54 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey

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Hi Kate,

I was delighted to see an update to Queen of Hearts. From the beginning of this story I have been fascinated by your interpretation of the characters, and I enjoy your witty, wordy style.

When I read the previous update, (long, long ago), I remember feeling baffled by Willow’s actions. I seem to remember Tara was pretty confused too. This update goes a long way to explaining that. (But not entirely – I noticed you didn’t actually give us Willow’s list. Spoilsport.) If you ever rewrite this story I would consider interspersing this chapter with the last, in some way, since as a reader, I felt I had, quite literally, lost the plot.

I liked Willow’s not-a-date monologue, even though the whole ‘dating’ thing strikes me as quite a strange American concept. It seems to involve a level of formality that doesn’t exist over here. Like, semi-naked intimacies are not ‘dating’, but coffee and cake, depending on the wording of the invitation, can be? Strange.

Quote:
If her brain could spit, it would have spat the name.
Nice line.

I thought you wrote the not-for-Mr Snuggle Pupkins’-eyes scene very well. The strength of it was, I think, in the character development of Willow, rather than eroticism. As True-Love commented, it seemed that Willow’s early explorations were more about achievement than enjoyment. I felt that her remorse in this instance showed two things. Firstly her strong moral sense (Willow is horrified by the idea that she could abuse Tara in the way Faith did Xander). I don’t think that fantasising about Tara bothers Willow so much as where that might lead. Secondly, she seems very uncomfortable with any emotion or physical feeling which has not been examined and approved by her intellect. At times you have shown this conflict by actually personifying Willow’s body, battling it out with her mind. This makes sense to me, as intellectual success is the one certain way Willow knows to gain self-esteem and happiness. Following her heart has more often brought her grief.

On the walk to the Bronze Willow applies her intellect to analysing Tara’s withdrawal, and creates an entire history for her to explain it, but poignantly fails to see how she has completely ignored the vital first word of Tara’s ‘lovestruck teenagers’ line. Poor Tara. When Willow gives herself permission to act, rather than think, she makes Tara happy, but Willow doesn’t seem to realise this.

The meeting with Buffy/Faith was very well done, and I’m looking forward to Tara’s take on it. Please, don’t make us wait another eight and a half months?

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (23 Dec 11)
PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 8:06 pm 
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10. Troll Hammer

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Love this story and really hope that it isn't forgotten.


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (23 Dec 11)
PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 8:36 pm 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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love_2003 wrote:
Love this story and really hope that it isn't forgotten.

Not forgotten. Never forgotten.

But it turns out I'm working on the next update now.

So here's random (unedited/first draft-y) preview:

Willow had brought her here because Buffy was supposed to be elsewhere, hadn’t she? Willow hadn’t said as much, but Tara could only guess. It was just hours ago that Willow had explained how she wanted to keep Tara to herself. And when Tara had accepted that, Willow had asked Tara here. Had taken her hand as they walked. It was already so much. She couldn’t ask Willow to step any further. And as Willow stood there, Tara realized the situation Willow was in: she might suppose that Tara would be upset if she asked to leave. Tara prepared to lean in and whisper a quick “let’s go” into her ear.

“Wow, I didn’t think she’d be here,” Willow said before Tara could move. There was a false cheerfulness about her that Tara didn’t recognize. It threw Tara, and instead of pulling at Willow’s arm, she just looked back over at Buffy. But then Willow’s hands were at her elbow. “Come on,” she said, her smile warm and genuine again, “I want you to meet her.” One of Willow’s hands slid down to her own and she pulled Tara through the crowd.

Just as Willow’s head turned toward Buffy, Tara caught sight of Willow’s tongue peeking through her smile. Ecstatic, Tara ducked her head. She knew that smile, that excitement and happiness in Willow. To see it here, as she brought Tara to meet her best friend . . . it was exciting in its own right. But more than that, she’d wanted this meeting for so long. To finally meet the girl Willow had told her about since the first days of their friendship. But then, Buffy was so important to Willow, so clearly admired by Willow, that Tara was afraid she’d be a disappointment.


Last edited by BeMyDeputy on Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:29 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (23 Dec 11)
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:48 am 
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I really like this. A view into the scenes and thoughts we couldn't see or hear. Intriquing.

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (23 Dec 11)
PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:54 am 
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Holy Mother of God I'm so glad you updated this@!!! You better get on with it, because Faith's assessment of their relationship is fucking hilarious and awesome and it's going to be awesome.

Cos the spell and the breathing and *sigh*. So just get on with it okay? Okay.

And thank youuuu


Last edited by KnightlyLove on Sat Jan 04, 2014 8:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (23 Dec 11)
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 9:40 pm 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Step one: Feedback for 4.2
(4.3 feedback will show up later today)


Overall:
Thanks everyone for answering my “so what if I wanted to write a book” question. After getting input from several sources, including your feedback, I’ve decided that I do. Once I finish Queen of Hearts, I’ll start outlining it. I finally settled on a title (at least, for the board version): “Stained Glass.” In some ways, it’s a similar story to QoH, and in others, it’s a very, very different story. Anyway, I’m super excited about that project; hopefully that means faster Queen of Hearts updates. No promises.

Speaking of “update speed” . . . sorry ‘bout that nine month gap. Particularly at a really bad place to break the story.


Individual responses (responses to 4.2):
Gaga01:
Re dibs: Grats!
Re 4.2: I’m always glad to hear that the characters feel natural. I’m still learning to write, but one of the things I’ve prioritized is characters that sound and feel like people.


Agilulfa:
Thanks! I know the next one was a very, very long wait, but I hope you enjoy it.


Morrigan:
I’m so glad to hear you love this story. I know I always have a harder time leaving feedback for stories that are complicated, and for ones that I really like. So I’ll just try to take you not having said much before as a compliment ;).

It’s funny; I always feel so much more connected to Willow than to Tara, and yet I get a lot of compliments on my portrayal of Tara. It still surprises me. I think one thing that helps is that when I sat down to write the story, one thing I did was ask myself “what sort of a person would Willow fall in love with?” Since I get Willow, I could take that knowledge and my knowledge of what we know of Tara from the show and figure out, not necessarily who Tara had to be, but who Tara could be. And who I came up with was someone who understands the constraints of the situation she’s in, but believes in living her life. She knows there are things she can’t have, and would rather enjoy what she can have rather than dwell on what she can’t have. Sure, she still wants things she can’t have, and sure, it can bother her that they’re beyond her grasp. But she’s human and has desires. And I hear that desire is the root of all suffering.

I think you’re right about the realism of sex happening before admissions of love, particularly for how old they are and the situation that Willow’s in. I mean, it’s way easier for her to figure out “I want to jump into bed with Tara” than it is to figure out how she feels about Tara. Of course, there’s also the practical consideration of the story that’s told on the screen.

I’m glad that you enjoy the writing itself, and am very happy to hear that it’s fluid. I assure you that the final product looks little like the first draft: it doesn’t spring forth from my skull fully formed or anything.

Thanks for mentioning the typos. I preview updates several times until I can’t find any more typos, but as they get longer and longer, I’m much more inclined to miss them.


Ariel:
Re: Tara’s opening soliloquy: that was a really hard part to write, because it was so easy to overwrite. It was overdone the first few times I wrote it, certainly. At the same time, I really like to pair Tara’s wisdom with her naïveté. It didn’t occur to her that Willow not loving her would hurt more as their physical relationship developed. She just doesn’t have the experience. But she thinks through and knows where she is, and what she wants, and where the lines are for her.

Re: the bag. I totally stole the bag of holding from Dungeons and Dragons. Absolutely essential gear. Um . . . is lavender a lesbian thing?

Re: the canon scenes. I’m glad you liked how they came out on the page. So much happens for Willow and Tara this episode on screen, and it was a real experience to get into Tara’s head and figure out what was going on for her during these scenes. And the ‘yours’ scene was fucking intimidating; I mean, everyone remembers that. I was pleased with how it came out, and happy to see people’s responses.

Thanks, by the way, for the conversation that led to “Stained Glass” as the new title for AYLD. Those were totally your words. I’m just repurposing them.


zampsa19752001:
Quote:
I loved how Tara figured out what Willow really meant with the touches and stories...

Well, technically that’s an assumption on Tara’s part. But it gives Tara a comforting framework for understanding why Willow was acting so really, really strangely that update. And that’s the key.

Thanks for writing!


DaddyCatALSO
1: It is a Celtic cross, and looks more or less like this:

2: I grew up, gaming-wise, playing Shadowrun and GURPS, but did eventually play D&D. Bags of holding are totally essential gear. And portable holes are just fucking hilarious.

3: I really need to rewrite the bridge from Willow’s POV. Because, well, she’s not exactly comfortable when she asks. And she gets an answer to the question she was really asking. I hope that the scene feels different after reading the next chapter, but I think rewriting it from Willow’s POV is the only way to explain exactly what the hell happened there. Though, I don’t think it will get across what a terrible thing it was that Willow did there, since she, obviously, won’t think that it’s terrible.

4: Mud has a Freudian significance? Who am I kidding, I’m sure it does. Anyway, almost no one is Freudian nowadays, at least in psychology. Writers and the like still are enchanted with him, but psychologists? Not so much.

5: I’m glad you liked how the clothing imbalance worked. It really came about for practical purposes: they change outfits multiple times during the same day, and I needed a reason. But the reason I came up with put them changing at Tara’s. I wanted to let some, to let some of that fear and confusion from her discussion at her mother come through, and give Willow a clue that even though Tara talks a confident game, she’s not immune to feeling insecure.

6: Well, sure, you used to be able to get a cell signal in Sunnydale, but then the master rose and the Hellmouth opened, and things were just not the same for years. Finally, though, technology became good enough that they could put cell towers up outside of the zone of evil in Sunnydale, and the citizens could get some reception. But in the middle there, when this part of the story takes place? You just can’t get a signal. Tragic, really.

7: I’m glad you liked Tara’s understanding of what Willow meant in the “yours” scene. Is it what Willow meant? Not really. But Tara doesn’t learn anything false from her understanding, so it doesn’t really matter that it isn’t what Willow meant.

I’m sure your snapshots will be great, by the way.


LonelyTara:
Aww, thanks.


KnightlyLove:
It’s okay. You can gush. Really. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, I assure you.

And as for not writing more than the spoiler I gave in chat? Part of the bridge scene, right? Um, that was like, a hundred words or so. I think the update was around eight thousand words. I wrote way more!

Just not more sex. ;)

Well, I have technically written a bit of sex. That includes both of them, even. It just isn’t posted yet. And won’t be until 4.5.

Thanks for the very kind words. Hope to see you around soon.


love_2003,
I’m glad you liked the uncertainty surrounding the undressing. Even though, as I mentioned to DaddyCatALSO, the scene came about for practical reasons, I really liked how it came out. It was a good way to bring back what Tara was talking about at the opening of the chapter. Plus, Willow has this problem of not being on the same page with herself all of the time, and so it was fun to fluster her a little bit.

As for Tara on the bridge . . . it’s funny, writing a scene where you don’t agree with what either character is doing, but at the same time fully believing it’s what they would be doing. Because Tara’s calmness doesn’t tell Willow that asking a deeply personal question in a public place is completely inappropriate. But in a way, Tara doesn’t know better than to put up with it. Does that make any sense?

Thanks for writing!


wayland,
It’s weird reading this feedback. It’s a reminder of just how fucking long it took me to update: our whole friendship has developed since you wrote this, hasn’t it.

Bad me.

I don’t know what I can do, at this point, to make up for the April Fool’s joke. Not that, you know, you making coffee is exactly a big deal. You make coffee all the time! But the timing of this update is just for you, dear.

Right.

Quote:
I love the way Tara abandoned her angsty analysis the moment she heard Willow’s voice.

You weren’t the first person to comment on this, and I’m glad: it was drawn from personal experience, how that simple thing can turn your mood around completely.

As for the “yours” scene, as I’ve mentioned a few times, what I wrote is my interpretation of what Tara hears in that scene, not what Willow is saying. But I think that they’re close enough to each other that it’s not going to cause problems that they’re different. I also think that what Tara hears is a much prettier story, and I would hate to go with the boring version when writing such an important scene, you know?


Quote:
Willow paused, and Tara let the words change her.

I’m so glad you pulled out this line. It’s one of my favorites. I think it says a lot in a small space.

Quote:
Quote:
Tara finally turned to look at Willow and let her heart spill onto her face.


This is excellent.


I was happy that people liked this, because it almost got cut. When I wrote it, I remembered that scene from “Helpless,” where Angel says this really sweet thing about Buffy holding her heart out for everyone to see, and Buffy says “That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross.” And even when I talked to dlline about my line, we saw it both ways, as really nice and also really . . . not. And if had been Willow’s POV, I would have cut it. But Tara’s a touch more romantic, so I kept it in.

I’m not sure if it’s dramatic tension, but I do know that this chapter was an example of Willow acting, in many ways, totally out of character. And I deliberately set it up so the reader didn’t know why, so I could drag you through the experience that Tara had, because she doesn’t know either. However, Tara is relatively calm about the matter. Calmer than I would have been. She just rolls with it.

Tara’s character arc in season four is much simpler than Willow’s, so I can understand Willow’s chapters being more complex. You’re right: Tara has so much less conflict going on than Willow does.

Thanks for the detailed answers to my questions, and the subsequent advice that’s gotten me to where I am with “Stained Glass.”

(You have more feedback response down in the 4.3 section; I’m not just ignoring it.)


Promthea128,
Quote:
This fic is making me want to rewatch S4. There are so many moments that are wonderful.


Muahahhah! Power!

Seriously, though, I’m glad to hear this. The original is just such good, powerful writing, and it’s good to know I can write something that resonates with it enough to make someone who (presumably) has watched the season more than once want to go back and watch it again.

Quote:
Even the scenes that are canon, you make breathe new life into, and the original parts have the same excellence. Your interpertation of the events are awesome. I love that Willow gave Tara a vampire protection kit, that she needs her to be safe.


Thanks so much for this. Everyone can honestly thank dlline for me writing the original scenes at all. I originally passed over them, but she had me write them. And I’m really proud of how they came out. So I’m so very glad to year that you’ve enjoyed them.

Quote:
And lol, bag of holding!

I’ve always loved bags of holding. Also, for a higher level campaign, the robe of eyes is quality gear.

Quote:
Quote:
After a quick sniff, Tara discovered that the charm did indeed smell of lavender instead of the more familiar sulfur.


Doesn't the effect of spells/potions/charms change if you change ingredients?


So, that Willow has sufficient knowledge to change the ingredients while keeping the same result is canon (scapulas come up in “I Only Have Eyes for You” and she ingredient manipulation is from “Bad Girls.”) I think of magic as working a lot like chemistry (and therefore cooking): there are components that have certain properties, and the end result is a combination of those properties. If you know enough about the recipie, you can change up the ingredients for new ones. Like swapping out milk and vinegar for buttermilk.

Quote:
Quote:
“Next you’re going to say that I’m being all sinister, just because I’m eating with my left hand?


Not sure why this was amusing. Maybe cause I'm a sinister lefty?

Hee hee. One of my best friends growing up (and we’re still close today) is left-handed: in fact, he was born ambidextrous and had to choose a hand—a tidbit I borrowed for Willow’s backstory. My first girlfriend was also left handed. So I have a lot of affection for sinisterness.

I’m glad you find their situations and interactions real. Particularly in character-driven stories, it’s important that the characters and their interactions feel real. Otherwise, why are you bothering, you know?

On storytelling, “Stained Glass” got started in my head as a rewrite of Queen of Hearts, and even though it’s grown a lot since then, I think that origin will really inform the direction it takes. But the theme for that story, that thesis, is a much different one than for Queen of Hearts, so it’s going to be a very different piece.

If you haven’t looked up Ze Frank yet, he’s starting doing another year of vlogs (3 times per week instead of five) in the near future, so if you don’t start soon, he’ll be making them on top of you catching up! He did a kickstarter for it, and managed to raise nearly three times what he asked for. It will be awesome, I’m sure.

DFTBA


Lavenderangel,
I initially read this last week during finals, and it was quite possibly the best study break ever. I cannot express how much I love the depth you've given to Tara. Your prose are so, so lovely, and I think this could definitely work as a standalone novel. Plus, we need more literary lesbian fiction. I cannot wait for your next update. I will try to edit this post with more coherent feedback soon.

I’m glad I managed to provide you with such a lovely study break, e’re so long ago. Thanks for the kind words about my portrayal of Tara. I’ve mentioned a few other places that when I sketched out her character, what I wanted was a woman Willow could accidently fall in love with. Since I really get Willow, a lot of that meant creating someone I could fall in love with.

I know I didn’t really come through on the “soon” thing. I’m just flat out bad at actually doing work.


BuffyFan4ever,
I think I managed to post 4.3 right before finals for a lot of people. Writing it was, I think, I distraction from studying for mine. (Damn that was a long time ago). Anyway, thanks for coming back and leaving me a note. It was far timelier than my update. Or this feedback! (I am terribly irresponsible, sadly.)

Re: phones. Joss talks in the commentary to “Lessons” about how they had to keep the characters from having cell phones or cars or even fucking bicycles, because it would destroy how they set up their plots. But at the same time, given that Willow is, well, Willow, she had to have looked into it, you know?

I’m sorry to hear about your arm. I’ve only ever broken a bone in my finger. Actually, I’ve broken that same bone twice, something like twenty years apart. Willow’s story about breaking her wrist is from a kid in my sixth grade class. The treehouse was one a friend and I built. One day, I was busy, so the kid with the treehouse invited another kid over. The unsuspecting child, who had had no hand in building our death trap of a tree house, fell off the zip line and onto his wrist. It really was the worst break his doctor had ever seen.

Re: food delivery. I had originally written that there simply wasn’t delivery food in Sunnydale. But then in season one Xander invites Willow over for the call to the Chinese place, so I made it so after the master showed up, they died out. But no, Trick had to order pizza. And so it was total coincidence that Faith, a major motivating force in this chapter, came into play in this detail.

I have been made to promise that I will not abandon Queen of Hearts, even if it is to go write Stained Glass. This story will get finished. It just . . . may take a while.


True_Love,
I have to say, it’s amazingly flattering to have been someone’s introduction to the board. It’s never happened to me before, at least not that anyone has said. So, thanks for mentioning it.

I’m glad that you enjoy Tara’s conversations with her mother. I started them as a total cheat, to get soliloquy out of Tara. But they’ve been very popular. I’ve certainly enjoyed writing them. In a way, I think that they give me the opportunity to make her more flawed. The role she plays in Willow’s life is this source of stability, and without that access to her uncertainties and misgivings, she would become less flawed and therefore more boring.

As I mentioned, I will take this story at least to NMR, if not through Restless (though the post-NMR episodes may be dealt with rather briefly).


Dr. J,

Quote:
I love, love, love this story. Canon S4 fics hold a special place in my heart, and I think this one is my all-time favorite.

Um. Gosh. Blushing over here. And you’re a dedicated lurker? More with the blushing.

I’m so glad that the detail and the dialogue fit, and that the causality of it all is clear. One of the things that I love about Buffy is that it’s a TV show that is meant to be shown in order: it that tells a cohesive story across episodes. It’s so much easier for a story to be immersive when things that happen on day one impact day two, and so on and so forth. Because that’s how life works.

I’m a biologist, and I always frame biology as learning about the flow of matter and energy, and how those convey information: information flow fascinates me. And when I think about what interests me about reading and writing, I see that theme again.

I too am a sucker for language. I wish I had video of me watching Amber Benson read chapter one of How to Be Death, because she uses this really rich vocabulary, and I get super excited when I see her use it. Squees of glee totally happen over here.

Cool fact: my mom actually owns a plaque that says “Eschew Obfuscation.” I come by this shit rightly.

I am so sorry that you were left dying for the next part, only to be left hanging for so very long. That was very rude, particularly since you were so nice and delurked long enough to comment. And I hope the next update will be on the “sooner” end of the spectrum. On the up side, I have the next scene sketched out in a decent bit of detail and an Irishwoman who can now raise her eyebrows at me pointedly (the joys of webcams) when I try to make excuses. On the down side, the next scene is all scary and shit. Like, for me. Not . . . scary content.


JustSkipIt,
For what it’s worth, I think the only thing that I’ve left you actual detailed feedback for is The Three of Us. Though I’m about to change that and write something for your challenge bit. Anyway, it is a casualty of me not being around when you were writing more. You can count on me for good notes if you decide to publish Waiting for Dani or write Willow’s Marks. ?

We’ve talked, and I’ve written in feedback responses a lot, about Tara talking to her mom. And like I wrote above to True_Love, one thing that I love about it is that it makes Tara come through as more flawed, and that makes her more interesting. Another thing I know I’ve said about this Tara is that she’s this pairing of contrasts: she’s both wise and naïve. On the one hand, she has this very mature approach to all this, and can be a steadying influence on Willow; on the other, this is her first time falling in love, so everything feels turned up to eleven.

When I decided to make it a regular thing for Tara, I wanted it to take something of a progression, where Tara is initially somewhat uncomfortable talking about her more sexual feelings for Willow. But as time goes on, she has to rely on that outlet more and more. The first time I wrote one of these scenes, I talked to dlline about Tara’s relationship with her mom. Yes, she’s talking about stuff with her mom that wouldn’t really be typical for a nineteen year old girl. Because there more to it than just her mom can’t hear her. As people age, their relationships with their parents tend to change away from one of superior/inferior, and towards a much more equal one. In a case like Tara’s, when her mother goes through an extended illness, that process gets accelerated.

You talked about Tara just being open and available to Willow, but I really just can’t imagine her doing anything else. Like, it didn’t even occur to me for her to react any other way.

I haven’t read either of those books, but I have heard about the gifting of the flours. I really saw Willow’s gifts as completely practical, rather than sentimental or anything. It’s like, hey, if you’re going to be on the battlefield, you need armor.

One nice thing about watching the show years after it was on the air was that it was a lot less obvious what the contemporary status of cell phones was. They didn’t have them, and it didn’t feel wrong, because I remember when people didn’t have cell phones.


Quote:
I'm torn between being proud and impressed with Willow's bravery in asking this and still wanting to throttle her just a little. It just... rings of a bit of teasing. She knows Tara's into her. That Tara wants her. Even that Tara loves her and she tosses this out there all casually. Ouch.


I’m really glad that you mentioned this, because what Willow does here is a really terrible thing. And I knew what Willow was doing, but Tara didn’t, so I wanted to leave it as a mystery. But at the same time, Tara isn’t bothered by it. She’s just so enamored and so excited to be taking steps forward that she isn’t stopping to think “hey, that’s really unfair of you to do.” It speaks to her immaturity and to her inexperience with relationships in general.

Quote:
On the other hand, Tara seems to be handling it better than I am so go Tara. Of course, maybe that's why I never liked dating straight girls...

You know, I don’t recommend it.

Quote:
And once we get back to the dorm room my feelings are again somewhat conflicted. I still feel like Willow is being a tease but at least in the dorm room we can see and feel that complete deer-in-the-headlights terror that is gripping her and keeping her from being about to fall into what's happening between them. It's maddening but I have compassion for her as well.


I think that in the dorm room that Willow has more of a leg to stand on to justify her actions than at the bridge. I mean, at least they were in private, and Tara really has given her the impression that whatever it takes for Willow to sort this out, Tara will be able to flow with it. Which isn’t Tara lying really, it’s more Tara overestimating herself.

Quote:
I really like your take on Tara's thoughts/feelings/realization during the very classic "I am you know... yours" conversation.


This really means a lot. It’s such an iconic moment. It matters, and I wanted to get it right.


Quote:
I'll admit to you that I can remember the first time I saw this scene. I was cooking dinner and watching and Rachel and I were both talking to the TV like we do and she said "I am you know..." and I said "In love with you" and Rachel said "yours." She was right but mine agreed with yours I guess.


That’s awesome.


beautiful_love,
I’m so glad that you found a story you love. I know that every once and a while I’ll find something that’s amazing that I’ve never heard of, and people are like “uh, how have you not read that??” And it’s always a super-pleasant thing, to find something wonderful; I’m glad that I could make something that gave this experience to you.

I always thought that my portrayal of Willow would come out better than my portrayal of Tara, because I get Willow better. But since the primary informing feature of Tara is that she’s someone Willow falls in love with, and I am like Willow, I end up writing Tara with a tremendous amount of love.


4.3 Feedback in this space soon


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (23 Dec 11)
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 9:41 pm 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:31 am
Posts: 621
Topics: 10
Location: San Diego, CA
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: I am genuinely interested in both positive and negative feedback on all of my writing, from emoticons to tearing the work apart. If you have something to say, please say it. If you’re concerned about posting critique publically for whatever reason, I am amenable to receiving it via PM.Notes: The entirety of chapter 4, including ‘Reframing,’ take place across the episodes “This Year’s Girl” and “Who Are You?”
Content disclaimer: Sex: no. Angst: Yes. Violence: No.
I don’t own this disclaimer: The following is a work of fanfiction that takes place within the Buffyverse. The entire Buffyverse ( including setting, characters and plot) property of its owners, including but not limited to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. The episode “Who Are You” was written by Joss Whedon. No copyright infringement is intended by this work. However, any material within not copyright any other party is copyright me.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to my awesome beta reader, dlline. Those canon scenes that everyone likes? She's the reason I left those in. I was going to cut them. So if you like them, thank her.
Acknowledgements II: Thanks to wayland and Ariel for being great alpha readers, even on sort notice.

Notes: The date of today's update is honor of wayland, who still hasn't forgiven me for last year's April Fool's day joke. Thanks for liking me anyways, Clare!



Chapter 4 Part 4: Reframing
Tara took in the sight of the large building in front of her. “It, um, looks like a warehouse.” She knew Willow was excited about coming here, and didn’t want to offend. It still looked like a warehouse.

“That makes sense: it actually used to be one. Or, I guess you could say that it still is one. It’s just, now the wares that it houses are booze, bands, and . . . Some b-word that means ‘teenagers.’” Willow dropped Tara’s hand and pointed excitedly at the door. The sudden lack in warmth made Tara acutely aware of the cool evening air. Warmer by far than it would be at home at this time of year, but still cold enough to prompt Tara to bundle her arms to her chest.

“They only charge cover when they have live music,” Willow explained. “No one’s at the door, so they must just be playing CDs over the sound system.” Tara smiled at the detail: from Sunnydale to physics, Willow had a tendency to play tour guide. It was a charming window into how Willow saw the world, and it made Tara feel special.

“Can they get decent acoustics, being a warehouse and all?” Tara didn’t know much about sound, but she knew that Willow did, and she wanted to keep Willow talking.

“Right, you’ve never been inside. I keep forgetting.” The comment made Tara smile: if she had been before, she wouldn’t need Willow to be her tour guide. “It’s just . . .” Willow nodded familiarly to some guys smoking outside the door, who opened it for them. “I can't believe you've never been here. The Bronze is the coolest place in Sunnydale. Course, not a lot of competition there . . . I think the vending machine at Burgin's came in second.” Tara tried to focus on Willow, but the smell that hit them as they made their way into the center of the room was familiar. The crowd, the noise, the sticky feel to the floor, they were all familiar too. Familiar and uncomfortable.

“Y-you used to come here a lot?” Tara didn’t want to sound judgmental. But she couldn’t help wishing that Willow had never been to a place like this. Or from wishing that they were back in her room, alone.

Lived here.” Willow looked around, clearly happy to be on such apparently familiar turf. “Me, Xander . . . ,” Willow’s face suddenly fell. “. . . Buffy.” The way Willow’s demeanor changed was more than enough to tell Tara that Buffy was there. So when she followed Willow’s gaze deeper into the crowd, towards a small cluster of people standing and chanting by the counter, Tara was not at all surprised to see a short blonde woman she recognized from countless pictures.

Willow had brought her here because Buffy was supposed to be elsewhere, hadn’t she? She hadn’t said as much, but Tara could only guess. It was just hours ago that Willow had explained how she wanted to keep Tara to herself. And when Tara had accepted that, Willow had asked Tara here. Had taken her hand as they walked. It was already so much. She couldn’t ask Willow to step any further. And as Willow stood there, Tara realized the situation Willow was in: she might suppose that Tara would be upset if she asked to leave. Tara prepared to lean in and whisper a quick “let’s go” into her ear.

“Wow, I didn’t think she’d be here,” Willow said before Tara could move. There was a false cheerfulness about her that Tara didn’t recognize. It threw Tara, and instead of pulling at Willow’s arm, she just looked back over at Buffy. But then Willow’s hands were at her elbow. “Come on,” she said, her smile warm and genuine again, “I want you to meet her.” One of Willow’s hands slid down to her own and she pulled Tara through the crowd.

Just as Willow’s head turned toward Buffy, Tara caught sight of Willow’s tongue peeking through her smile. Ecstatic, Tara ducked her head. She knew that smile, that excitement and happiness in Willow. To see it here, as she brought Tara to meet her best friend . . . it was exciting in its own right. But more than that, she’d wanted this meeting for so long. To finally meet the girl Willow had told her about since the first days of their friendship. But then, Buffy was so important to Willow, so clearly admired by Willow, that Tara was afraid she’d be a disappointment.

Willow’s hand dropped her own, and signaled that they were there. Time to look back up, and not embarrass Willow. Nervous, she crossed her arms against her chest.

“Hey, Buffy!”

“Willow. And - uh . . . .” Buffy looked to Tara, clearly waiting for an introduction.

“Buffy, this is Tara.” The sound of happiness and almost . . . pride? . . . in Willow’s voice fueled Tara’s happiness.

“Hi.” Tara wanted to say more, to tell Buffy how much she’d heard about her, how much she’d looked forward to meeting her. But she couldn’t, not without gushing. And she couldn’t gush without letting on how important her relationship with Willow was.

“So we’ve never met?” Buffy confirmed. Tara shook her head, too nervous to try talking again. “Okay. Cool. I'm having a thing with names.”

“Tara was in my Wicca group,” Willow explained. Tara nodded slightly hearing it; in the year and a half she’d been in college, she’d heard people refer to new friends by how they met them countless times. It was the simplest way to explain who she was.

“Uh huh.” Buffy didn’t sound particularly interested, but then again, Willow had mentioned that Buffy didn’t seem to keen on Willow’s interest in magic as of late. That was fine with her: Tara was happy to keep it as something precious between the two of them.

“So, what’s up?” Willow asked as Buffy headed for a nearby table. Tara felt a hand on her arm as Willow directed her to a chair, while Buffy had landed on the couch. “Patrol a no-go?” Tara was impressed with the economy of words: by mentioning patrol, Willow not only let Tara know where she thought Buffy would be, but also let Buffy know that Tara was in on her secret identity. The thought helped Tara relax: Buffy would surely understand that Willow sharing this information meant that Tara was both important and trustworthy.

“I got tired. The whole Faith thing . . . I wanted to let off some steam.” Tara tried to listen for any disapproval in Buffy’s voice, but found herself distracted: Willow sat on the arm of her chair, rather than over on the couch next to Buffy. Not close enough so they touched, but close.

“Good for you. You shouldn’t work yourself too hard.” It was important to pay close attention, to understand the dynamic between Willow and her best friend. Buffy’s opinion of her, Tara knew, was sure to be important to Willow. Yet, she could feel Willow at her side; the warmth pouring off of her and across the few inch gap between them. At least when Willow spoke, it was an excuse to look at her.

“That’s my philosophy.” Buffy threw her arms behind her head. There was an easy confidence about her. No wonder Willow was so drawn to Buffy: her charisma filled the whole space.

“Anyone want a soda?” Willow asked.

Tara looked up at Willow. “Water?” She caught Buffy shaking her head out of the corner of her eye.

As Willow stood and walked to the bar, Tara let herself watch. She hadn’t had a chance to just sit and stare since Willow arrived in this new outfit. The translucent top had given her shivers all night that were completely unrelated to the temperature. And the skirt . . . .

Tara realized she’d looked too long, and snapped her gaze back down to her lap, embarrassed. Buffy’s presence had transformed the evening: it wasn’t about her and Willow, it was about Buffy and Willow. Willow’s friends were a tight-knit group, and this meeting, this first impression, was essential.

“So you guys have been hanging out a lot lately, huh?” Tara looked up, the unexpected question pulling her out of her internal chastising. Perhaps Buffy hadn’t seen the staring for what it was?

“Yeah, she’s, um . . .” fantastic? Amazing? Gorgeous? “. . . she’s really cool.” Tara smiled. It was easy to praise Willow, and Buffy was certain to be happy to hear it. Tara relaxed a little: she could do this.

Buffy looked over towards Willow and grinned. “So, Willow’s not driving stick anymore. Who would have thought?”

Tara’s mood shattered.

“I guess you never really know someone until you’ve been inside their skin,” Buffy continued. Tara’s head spun. The words finally coalesced into meaning. She knows. This shouldn’t be happening. Couldn’t be happening. It was her mistake that had led Buffy to these conclusions, her behavior that Buffy had seen. But they were conclusions she made about Willow. Tara knew she should deny it, to say that it was her, not Willow. That all Buffy had seen was the cliché helpless crush of a lesbian on a straight friend. Tara wanted to get the words out, to shake her head, anything. But she couldn’t. It took everything she had to keep her composure.

“And Oz is out of the picture?” The interrogation continued, relentless. “I never did see two people so much in love. She just couldn't get enough of old Oz.” Tara knew those kinds of words: words that were meant to cut and tear. She’d heard them before. They still hurt.

Tara found her voice again, but rather than using it to deflect attention from Willow, she used it to staunch the bleeding from the latest attack. “She, um, said he, uh, uh, w-w-w-w-w-went—”

“He w-w-w-w-what? You gonna get that sentence out sometime tonight?”

Tara lowered her head. She felt ill. The noise, the smell, the embarrassment, and the bullying all came together to create a hauntingly familiar situation. It couldn’t have been a minute since she’d felt safe and secure, and now she was suddenly seventeen again.

“Buffy, guy in the corner,” Willow said. The sound of her voice grounded Tara in the present once more.

“Yeah,” Buffy said appreciatively. “Good call.”

“What?” Tara looked up at Willow. She felt like she’d been kicked in the stomach. Surely, Willow wasn’t going to check out boys with Buffy?

“Vampire,” Willow explained. The knot in Tara’s stomach unclenched the tiniest of fractions.

Willow and Buffy exchanged words above her head, but Tara didn’t hear them. She needed to leave, with or without Willow. To get away from this situation, from this woman Willow called her best friend. But if Willow stayed . . . she would have to confess, to warn her what Buffy had seen.

Buffy got up and walked away. Tara didn’t know how long she had alone with Willow, how much time they would have to talk. She had to act, and act now. But for the first time, she found herself afraid to talk to Willow. It completed the impression that she had stepped through the looking glass.

There was a soft, warm hand on her knee, and Tara looked up to see Willow sitting on the table, her face concerned. “Hey,” she began softly, “I know vampires are scary, but it’s just the one. Buffy’ll take care of him in no time. How are you doing?”

“I . . . .” Tara stood sharply. “I don’t feel well all of a sudden. I’m going to head back.” She kept her head down and to the side as she spoke; she couldn’t bring herself to look Willow in the eye.

“Tara?” Willow’s voice was uncertain. Tara heard her stand, then felt shaking hands in her own.

“Will you walk me?” Tara looked to Willow and pled with her eyes. She couldn’t bear to try to explain what had happened while they were still here. Neither could she bear the thought of going home alone.

“Yes, of course.” Willow turned her head briefly towards the wall opposite the main entrance. “But we need to wait for Buffy to get back. I don’t want her to worry about us.”

“W-well, if we’re going, we should let someone else have the table.” Tara pulled Willow back towards the door. “C’mon, we can wait over by the door, right?”

“Uh, I suppose.” Willow seemed confused, but Tara didn’t stop to explain. Buffy wasn’t supposed to be long, after all. Thankfully, Willow simply followed along, though when Tara glanced back at her, she saw that Willow’s head remained turned the opposite way. From the new angle, Tara could finally see what Willow must have found so interesting: a back door. Tara got her all the way to a pool table they’d passed on their way in before Willow pulled them to a stop. “Hang on. We shouldn’t go too far.”

“Can you, um, make my apologies? When she’s back?” They were so close to leaving. The last thing Tara wanted was to go back in and face Buffy again.

Willow frowned. “You’re sure you don’t want to?” Tara could only shake her head. Willow opened her mouth, but closed it again without speaking. Instead, she turned away, so she only partly faced Tara. The motion made Tara pull her arms to herself: all she wanted was to be closer to Willow, but instead she was driving her away. She just couldn’t think of an alternative. It would be better once they got to her room. Wouldn’t it?

Without a word, Willow rapidly stepped away, and Tara watched her walk to where Buffy had reentered the club. From the distance, she couldn’t hear the words they exchanged, and she was quite grateful for the fact. Still, it was hard to see Willow move so quickly from her side to Buffy’s after what Buffy had said.

At one point, Buffy and then Willow looked over at her, and Tara’s skin crawled. She’s not your friend, Willow. Not the way Tara understood friendship. Not the way that Willow seemed to understand it, either.

Tara watched Buffy suspiciously as she waited for the conversation to wrap up. Would she say something about what she saw? Ten minutes ago, Tara would have sworn that no, Buffy would never do something like that. Wouldn’t taunt or tease Willow about something so personal and so confusing: not in private, let alone in public.

But that was ten minutes ago.

It was hard to watch them talk. Not that it would have been easier to be over there. But something about Buffy felt . . . jarring. At first, Tara dismissed it as a reaction to her humiliation. As the interminable seconds dragged out, however, she changed her mind. It was something about Buffy. It was uncomfortable, and Tara didn’t like it. As Tara watched, a slow smile spread over Buffy’s face. It was the opposite of watching Willow smile: it was scheming—almost cruel—and it left Tara feeling cold.

Finally, Willow returned. “Everything’s all set. Are you ready to go?”

“Yes. Please.”

Willow pointed towards the door, and Tara gratefully headed out. Even with Willow at her side again, the space seemed to actively constrict around Tara. The smell of the alcohol, the roar of the crowd: it was all too much for her. She pulled her crossed arms closer and closer to her body until she finally made it outdoors.

When she stepped out of the building, Tara paused and took a deep breath. The cold air stung as it hit her lungs, but she was grateful for it: it meant she had escaped. Though she wasn’t sure exactly how to make her way home, simply stepping out into the night made her feel much closer to home, and in turn that made her feel safer.

A glance towards Willow reminded Tara what an absurd feeling that was. Visibly tense, Willow was looking up and down the alleyway Tara had considered so superior to indoors. Vampires, Tara remembered. How could she have forgotten? Just minutes ago, Buffy had gotten up to slay one. But Willow had too much practice to forget. The thought was more chilling than the winter air.

“This way,” Willow said, a weak smile on her face. She pointed down the direction they had come from before. Tara knew it couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes that they were here, probably less. It felt like hours.

Despite the reminder that the night was, itself, dangerous, Tara couldn’t help breathing easier with every step they took away from the Bronze. She found herself able to think increasingly clearly, the fog clouding her thoughts slowly dispersing into the night.

So, Willow’s not driving stick anymore. Who would have thought?

Buffy’s teasing echoed in Tara’s ears, buffeting Tara’s confidence with each repetition. Willow adored Buffy, and spoke of her constantly. She was supposed to be safe. How had it all gone so badly? Every part of the moment was wrong. Buffy had jumped to conclusions about Willow, not Tara. Yet, Willow had done nothing. It was Tara who had erred, Tara who let her desire get the best of her. Why hadn’t Buffy simply judged Tara?

It didn’t make sense. What kind of friend would say things like that?

When Buffy had made assumptions about Willow, Tara had known she should counter them. Should speak up for the woman she loved. In fact, Buffy may have simply been, very crudely, asking if Willow returned Tara’s feelings. I didn’t tell her no.

Tara felt her cheeks burn. Why hadn’t she?

It’s too close to the truth. The thought settled uneasily into her stomach. She had told herself over and over that it was alright that her feelings ran deeper than Willow’s, that this chance to be in love mattered more than that disparity. But tonight, when push came to shove, when all she had to do was tell Buffy that Willow didn’t share that attraction, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t do it because the idea terrified her: the same idea she’d managed to convince herself was totally fine.

Then, in that moment of fear, that moment she was too paralyzed to act, Buffy had twisted the knife. Oz. Tara hadn’t forgotten about Oz in this past week. Hadn’t forgotten that, especially early on, Willow said that Oz would return.That his departure to who-knows-where was only temporary. And she knew that when he did return, that this thing between them, whatever it was, would be over.

The one-two punch had knocked her confidence out cold.

And now I’ve locked those fears into a pressure cooker, and walked out into the night. Could vampires smell fear? Tara had no idea. But if they could, she was sure that she was alerting every vampire in Sunnydale to their location.

A touch to her shoulder made Tara jump and turn around. “Aah!”

It was Willow. She put her hands up and took a quick step back. “It’s just me!”

Tara nodded, and Willow put her hands down. She didn’t step closer again, though, and the startled look on her face changed to a forlorn one. Tara stared. When they left the Bronze, Willow had been tense. Now she looked miserable. Tara had been so caught up in her self-recriminations she had simply followed Willow on autopilot: it wasn’t as though she could explain herself before they got back to the room. But seeing Willow’s pained expression was too much. She had to do something.

“W-willow, I—”

Willow grabbed Tara’s arm, and pulled them into an overhang in front of a store. Willow looked at Tara for a long moment, eyes wide, until her lip began to quiver. Then she looked quickly away.

“I’m sorry.” The whispered words barely made it to Tara’s ears.

“What? I don’t . . . Willow, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Tara was confused. Willow had been extremely gracious the whole evening.

Willow looked back to Tara. She looked like she was about to cry. “But, I didn’t tell Buffy that I . . . that you . . . that we . . . .” She hung her head again. “Isn’t that why you wanted to leave?”

Tara blinked once in disbelief. Then twice. She shook her head vehemently. “No.”

A vulnerable look on her face, Willow looked up again. “Are you sure?”

“Of course.” Tara carefully put a hand on her shoulder, and the next moment found Willow pressed into her chest, her hands at her waist. Tara pulled her arms around Willow’s back and hugged her close. “You need to wait to talk to her until you’re ready. I didn’t expect you to tell her just because we ran into her out of the blue. I know you’ll want to be prepared for that conversation.”

Willow’s head nodded against Tara’s shoulder. “Yeah. I really do.” Tara felt Willow take long, slow breaths. When those breaths evened out, Willow pulled back, and moved her face directly in front of Tara’s. The large smile on her face instantly calmed the storm of unpleasant emotions inside Tara. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For understanding.” Tara felt Willow’s fingertips dig into her hip, and watched her head tilt slightly. Her face moved closer. Tara had seen her do this many times before, but couldn’t believe it was happening here. “You’re amazing.” The warm breath of the words and soft edges of Willow’s lips brushed against Tara’s mouth. Willow closed the last few millimeters distance and kissed her soundly. Even as Willow pulled firmly at Tara’s hip, the moment wasn’t sexual. It was grounding. It cemented them together.

When Willow pulled back, there was an even bigger smile on her face than before. “I told you: not embarrassed. Just confused.” She gave Tara a quick squeeze. “But I know I like kissing you.”

“I like kissing you, too.” Tara smiled. Here it was, right in front of her: how much Willow cared for her. She wasn’t just a lesbian with a hopeless crush. There was hope. More than that, there was this: kissing and touching and concern.

“We probably should get moving.” Willow nodded at the streetlight that illuminated them. “Three walls and a light is only safe for so long.” Willow took Tara’s hand as she stepped back onto the sidewalk and began to walk again.

“Why did we stop in the light? Weren’t we more visible?” Tara asked.

“Not really. Vampires can see in the dark. But we can’t. So if we stopped in a dark spot, they’d be able to see us, but we couldn’t see them. With the street light, at least we get a tiny warning if any show up.” Willow shrugged. “Of course, if you’re in the light, it’s harder to see outside of the area that’s illuminated, whereas if you’re in the dark, you can see farther. But since the vamps tend to avoid the streetlights, I feel a bit safer in the light.”

Tara nodded. As far back as she could remember she had split the world in two: safe places, and everywhere else. Now, here in Sunnydale, the unease she felt when she was in the “everywhere else” category came with real monsters to fear. But it also came with Willow, who acted as a mobile safe spot. Like her mother was.

Tara looked over at Willow. She seemed very alert, carefully looking at their surroundings. But her good mood was evident: she was much more the Willow from when they left campus than the Willow from when they left the Bronze.

The Bronze. Even though the kiss they’d just shared had quieted her fears about things between them, she still needed to tell Willow what had happened at the Bronze. To confess what she had done. To tell her that Buffy knew. She had just assured Willow she had time to figure out what and how to talk to Buffy about things. But Buffy already knew.

Tara frowned. She hadn’t meant to lie. In fact, it didn’t feel like she had lied. The Buffy they met at the Bronze was so different from the girl she’d heard so much about, it felt like a different person.

The sensation that she was missing a big piece of the puzzle nagged at Tara, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. So she poured over everything she could ever remember Willow telling her about Buffy. It was a lot. Willow clearly held Buffy in such high regard and spoke about her with such affection that if Tara didn’t know better, she would have guessed that Buffy was her much-admired older sister.

But it didn’t just go one way. Tara remembered a story Willow had told her the other day, how Buffy had gone to face some big-wig vampire. “She went to face the Master because of me,” she had said. “His minions came to our school and killed the guys in the AV club, and I was afraid. So she went to face him, even though she knew she was going to die.” Buffy had always sounded genuinely loyal.

“Almost there,” Willow said as she nodded at Hillcrest, now only a few hundred feet away.

“Great.” Tara had mixed feelings. She was happy to be close to home, but still nervous about what to say to Willow. She knew she was missing something.

What else did she know about Buffy? She’d been to their dorm room once. There had been a deeply discouraging moment there, but that had been between her and Willow. As they entered Hillcrest, Tara cleared her mind of what had happened that day, and focused on the space. She’d been primarily concerned with Willow’s half of the room. She remembered how she knew right away which part was hers, not just from the things there, but also from the feel of the space. Tara knew Willow, and Willow’s energy, and could feel where it lived.

Energy.

Alarm bells started going off in Tara’s head. Something had felt wrong about Buffy. The club had been so astrally noisy that her second sight was almost useless. Places like that usually were. Yet, despite that haze, and despite the fact that she’d never met Buffy, something felt wrong about her.

If something was wrong with the slayer . . . that would be bad. Worse than any ‘Buffy saw me staring at your ass’ problems. Tara’s mind raced as they approached her room. What did she know? A sustained spell would have been bright, even against the background at the Bronze. She would have picked it out right away. It had to have been a permanent effect. Something designed to be stealthy, most likely. But what did it do? Aside from make the Buffy a total jerk, that is.

But then, the woman she met tonight was nothing like the woman Willow had described.

What if that wasn’t Buffy? Anxious, Tara considered the possibility as she unlocked the door and strode into her room. It would fit: the cruel behavior, the strange energy, and little things she’d casually dismissed, like Buffy’s “thing with names.” There were at least a dozen things she knew of, just off the top of her head, that would make her not be Buffy anymore. None of them were good.

“I'm sorry you're feeling all blechy. But we'll get together with Buffy another time, sometime soon. I think you'll really like her.” It was clear from her voice that Willow was happy and relaxed again after the drama at the Bronze and on the walk home.

Tara spun around and sighed. Time to ruin that. “She’s not your friend.”

Willow’s face fell. “I may have overestimated the ‘you liking her’ factor.”

“No, no . . . .” She was saying this wrong. “I mean, I don’t, I-I don’t think she’s . . . her.”

“You lost me.”

“Well . . . .” This was going to be hard to explain. Tara remembered her mother likening explaining the astral to describing colors to someone born blind. “A person’s energy has a flow, a unity. Buffy’s was . . . was fragmented; it-it grated, like something forced in where it doesn’t belong. Plus, she was, um . . . she was kind of mean.” Tara gave a forced chuckle at the end, as the memory of the discomfort washed over her again.

“You think Buffy’s not herself?” Willow asked slowly. Then her eyes went wide. “Like she’s been possessed or something?” Willow looked concerned.

“I’m not sure . . . .” Tara didn’t know what was going on. Or if she was even right. Just that the idea that it wasn’t Buffy that they met tonight was what made the most sense.

“You didn't sense a hyena energy at all did you? Because hyena possession is just . . .” Willow made a face, “. . . unpleasant.”

Tara didn’t know what was wrong with Buffy, but she did know that the first step was to find where Buffy’s soul was. And for that, they needed a link. “Do you have anything of hers?”

“Of Buffy’s? Uhh . . . .” Willow looked down at herself. “Oh! This ring.” She held out her hand.

“I-I think there's a way we can, hmm...” Tara walked to her desk and moved two books from the top of the spellbook she wanted. She opened it and flipped through to the right page. “The passage to the nether realm.There-there's a ritual. If you can find Buffy there, you should be able to see.” Tara didn’t like the idea of sending someone without second sight to the nether realm. The spell didn’t say you couldn’t, but it sounded like a bad idea. At the same time, it was impossible to go herself. First, she had never actually met Buffy. Second, it was raw power that kept you alive outside of your body. Willow had power in spades. She might not always know how to use it, but for this, that didn’t matter.

“If it’ll help her.” There was no hesitation in Willow’s voice. But this was a dangerous spell. Tara looked back down at the text and sighed. “What?” Willow asked.

Tara looked back to Willow. “Well, the nether realm exists beyond the physical world. Accessing it is . . . . I-it-it's kind of like astral projection. It's very intense. I'd have to be your anchor, keep you on this plane.”

“I trust you.”

Given the ease of her reply, Tara knew it was impossible that Willow understood what she was agreeing to do. That it would place her in danger, with only the strength of Tara’s concentration to keep her from losing touch with this plane of reality for forever. Even though Tara had suggested the spell, she needed Willow to think about what she was doing. “It-it's not like anything that we've ever—”

“I trust you,” Willow interrupted with a smile.

Maybe she does understand. After all, this is what Willow did: she put her life in the hands of others. She put herself in danger, over and over, to help people. She counted on her friends to keep her safe while she did it. Tara began to smile. Willow trusted her like she trusted her other friends. That trust, that faith, meant more to her than meeting them did. Tara nodded.

“What do we need to do?” Willow asked.

Tara stepped to the side to let Willow see the spell better as she pointed at the text. “The ritual itself both opens the way to the nether realm and ties you to me. That way, when your body releases your soul, you can find your way back.” Tara glanced at Willow, who nodded. “Before that, though, we need to tie this link to you.” Tara reached over and tapped the ring Willow had indicated earlier. “You’ll need it to find Buffy’s soul if it isn’t in her body.”

The first spell was simple enough. It wasn’t more difficult than many of the spells they’d put up on Tara’s room. But they’d never done ritual spellcasting before. They read over the spell together, again and again, until they were each sure they understood every step. When they were done, they prepared the room slowly and deliberately, rechecking the text after every step.

Just as Willow’s role in the spell required raw power, Tara’s required focus. She used the time before the spell to put aside everything that had happened that evening that might interfere with that focus. She poured herself into the work, from the preparation of the room to anointing Willow, and pushed away the emotional shrapnel of the day. Bolstered by the spells they had placed on the room what felt like ages ago, Tara felt completely serene by the time they were ready to begin.

When they sat themselves on the floor, Willow turned to Tara and took her hands. “Are you ready?”

Tara nodded. “I’ll bring you home safe.”

Willow smiled and squeezed Tara’s hands. “I know you will.” Willow returned her hands to her own lap and took a deep breath. “Let’s help Buffy.”

From the moment they began to cast the spell, Tara could feel Willow’s power, even more so than when they normally cast together. Opening a door to another realm like this could take hours for some people, but here it was, appearing in minutes. When it stabilized, forming a ring of shimmering light around them, they switched to the task of binding Willow’s soul to Tara’s. As they pressed their palms together and the spell wound about them, Tara couldn’t help but be reminded of a handfasting. The sensation of Willow’s soul being sewn into hers was powerful and erotic. She looked to Willow, who breathed heavily and looked as sweaty and intense as Tara felt. Willow’s eyes widened as the binding finished, and she collapsed backwards. Her body arched as she gasped. As her body convulsed a final time, Tara watched the final wires between Willow’s soul and her body snap. Her soul darted up and out of her body and through the passageway that had risen above them.

The ring of light above her dissipated, and Tara was alone.

Now Tara had to wait. To focus on her connection to Willow for as long as it took. As she waited, she felt extremely lucky for a lifetime of practice tightly controlling her emotions. She knew what had just happened, that the release of the soul from the body had also been a release of the body. Tara had never seen a more beautiful sight. But she couldn’t indulge herself in thoughts of it now.

As she watched Willow’s body on the floor, another distraction tugged at her mind. Willow lay still and soulless. Tara had seen such a thing once before. To reassure herself, Tara moved forward, and placed her hand, the one bound to Willow’s soul, over Willow’s heart. The heart beat slowly, but strongly. With the comfort of the steady signs of life beneath her hand, Tara could return her attention to her role and wait for Willow to return.

Tara felt time pass around her as she kept her vigil. It seemed to flow by without carrying her with it, like a river diverting around a rock. Her reality was her focus on Willow, and she let it consume her completely.

There was a tug on the spell, on the thin strand of magic wrapped around her hand. She tugged gently back to show Willow the way. She could feel Willow getting closer and closer. With a flash of light, Tara saw Willow’s soul slip back into her body, and felt the spell break.

The loss was almost painful. Though Willow was right there, she felt leagues away. When Willow didn’t stir, Tara knelt carefully over her, hovering her face a hairs-breadth above Willow’s.

Tara wondered how long it would take for Willow to wake up. She had put aside her feelings about witnessing Willow’s climax during the spell. She had to. But now that it was over, her reaction was back, stronger than ever. Even as she carefully watched Willow’s face for signs of movement, a part of her mind was playing that moment back over and over.

Finally, Willow’s eyes opened.

“I need to make you feel that.”


Last edited by BeMyDeputy on Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:59 am 
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I didn't know an update is coming and maybe it's a very long April Fool's Day joke but I'm dibsing anyway!

Eta I was going to write thorough feedback this morning while my app compiled and unspooled. Instead I chatted with you so no fb yet...


Last edited by JustSkipIt on Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:36 am 
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Yay for great update-y goodness... Tara meeting Faith in a Buffy-suit was just painful to read... Big yay for Willow showing Tara that she is not embarassed to show affection to Tara and helping Tara to focus and realize that it was not Buffy who was mean to her... Can't wait for Willow showing Tara what the spell felt like...


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:36 am 
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Oh snap! I love the intensity of the reaction to doing the spell. Very nice description.


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:56 pm 
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Hey, Kate!

QofH Update! :bounce :pinky :eatme :party :bounce :pinky :dumbo

First, you are someone who has watched these episodes more times than I can count . . . it’s there. The detail of how they move and exactly what they say and then . . the fascinating stuff happens. You peel it back and show us this amazing inner world that feels so delightfully gloriously real. And I love that!

Quote:
Just as Willow’s head turned toward Buffy, Tara caught sight of Willow’s tongue peeking through her smile. Ecstatic, Tara ducked her head. She knew that smile, that excitement and happiness in Willow. To see it here, as she brought Tara to meet her best friend . . . it was exciting in its own right. But more than that, she’d wanted this meeting for so long. To finally meet the girl Willow had told her about since the first days of their friendship. But then, Buffy was so important to Willow, so clearly admired by Willow, that Tara was afraid she’d be a disappointment.

Willow’s hand dropped her own, and signaled that they were there. Time to look back up, and not embarrass Willow. Nervous, she crossed her arms against her chest.
Tara excited about being acknowledged as someone in Willow’s world, fearing she’ll disappoint . . . and all the tension. Amazing that one of my favorite episodes is suddenly new and fraught with suspense.

Then you describe their magic and it IS magic:
Quote:
Now Tara had to wait. To focus on her connection to Willow for as long as it took. As she waited, she felt extremely lucky for a lifetime of practice tightly controlling her emotions. She knew what had just happened, that the release of the soul from the body had also been a release of the body. Tara had never seen a more beautiful sight. But she couldn’t indulge herself in thoughts of it now.

As she watched Willow’s body on the floor, another distraction tugged at her mind. Willow lay still and soulless. Tara had seen such a thing once before. To reassure herself, Tara moved forward, and placed her hand, the one bound to Willow’s soul, over Willow’s heart. The heart beat slowly, but strongly. With the comfort of the steady signs of life beneath her hand, Tara could return her attention to her role and wait for Willow to return.

Tara felt time pass around her as she kept her vigil. It seemed to flow by without carrying her with it, like a river diverting around a rock. Her reality was her focus on Willow, and she let it consume her completely.

There was a tug on the spell, on the thin strand of magic wrapped around her hand. She tugged gently back to show Willow the way. She could feel Willow getting closer and closer. With a flash of light, Tara saw Willow’s soul slip back into her body, and felt the spell break.

The loss was almost painful. Though Willow was right there, she felt leagues away. When Willow didn’t stir, Tara knelt carefully over her, hovering her face a hair’s-breadth above Willow’s.
It is a powerful, erotic and believable magical explanation of Willow’s orgasm and what happened. Utterly beautiful AND you explaining why Tara didn’t spot that Buffy wasn’t Buffy right there and why she spotted it when she’d never met Buffy before. You thought it through . . did the mental work and handed it to us.

So thank you (yet again) for an amazing read!

Ariel


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 11:17 am 
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Very solidly written expansion of thsoe few scenes.


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 7:58 pm 
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Nice retelling.

Like they say, the book is always better than the movie.

This is the book. :flower

:) R


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 3:54 pm 
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Kate - Ooo. There is so much that is just so rich here. First I should probably mention that this episode is firmly in my top 5 favorite BtVS episodes. Some days I would say it's #1. It also incorporates one of my favorite literary/creative devices in which the story is totally different from a different POV or different once you know a secret. In this case, the secret being that Tara figures out about Buffy/Faith (but I'll come back to that).

So I'll start from the top. Tara's level of insight into Willow's motivations and actions is endearing. If I didn't know what I know (that being that Willow will pick Tara) and wasn't a W/T shipper, I would find it somewhat desperate. It's like she's willing to be Willow's dirty little secret because it's all she can get. I had a friend once who allowed herself to be really mistreated by her long-term girlfriend over and over. When she and I would talk, I always asked her if it felt ok and her answer basically came down to what if this is supposed to be? What if we end up together (they did not)? And that question does sort of reshape the feeling of that "doormattyness."

I really enjoy the level of meta you go into in deconstructing every step and word from the two girls. I mean we shippers have probably watched this scene 300 times or more but you take a moment by moment analysis of it and it's quite lovely. You manage to make Tara's reactions even more wonderful/enlightened/possibly doormatty.

Quote:
“Willow. And - uh . . . .” Buffy looked to Tara, clearly waiting for an introduction.

“Buffy, this is Tara.” The sound of happiness and almost . . . pride? . . . in Willow’s voice fueled Tara’s happiness.

“Hi.” Tara wanted to say more, to tell Buffy how much she’d heard about her, how much she’d looked forward to meeting her. But she couldn’t, not without gushing. And she couldn’t gush without letting on how important her relationship with Willow was.

“So we’ve never met?” Buffy confirmed. Tara shook her head, too nervous to try talking again. “Okay. Cool. I'm having a thing with names.”
I have to admit that this is absolutely one of my favorite interactions in the entire BtVSverse. I love Faith (as you might have noticed) so her confusion about who the fuck this person is followed by the joy that she's not supposed to know anyway and then half-lame "having a thing with names" is just so awesome and classic and half-way between "I need to keep my cover" and "who gives a fuck?"

Quote:
"
That’s my philosophy.” Buffy threw her arms behind her head. There was an easy confidence about her. No wonder Willow was so drawn to Buffy: her charisma filled the whole space.
This kills me again because Faith so has that charisma that Tara is feeling and Buffy... sometimes yes and sometimes no. But this easiness is all Faith. Lol.

Quote:
Buffy looked over towards Willow and grinned. “So, Willow’s not driving stick anymore. Who would have thought?”
I've always loved that the only people who can figure it out on their own are Faith and Spike. The rest of the group spends the entire year in such self-involved angst that they don't even notice Tara. But Faith... Of course a second later she decides to be an asshole but still.

Quote:
Tara knew those kinds of words: words that were meant to cut and tear. She’d heard them before. They still hurt.
Nice observation because she is right - that's Faith's intention.

I really like the interaction in the overhang where Willow wonders if Tara's upset that she didn't tell Buffy all about them and Tara totally gets Willow enough to understand that she will want to plan out that entire conversation. And of course the kissing is nice.

Quote:
The Buffy they met at the Bronze was so different from the girl she’d heard so much about, it felt like a different person.
The penny's in the air ...



Quote:
Tara spun around and sighed. Time to ruin that. “She’s not your friend.”
Again, one of my favorite BtVS moments because on first viewing you just think that Tara's feelings are hurt.



Quote:
“I trust you.”



Given the ease of her reply, Tara knew it was impossible that Willow understood what she was agreeing to do. That it would place her in danger, with only the strength of Tara’s concentration to keep her from losing touch with this plane of reality for forever. Even though Tara had suggested the spell, she needed Willow to think about what she was doing. “It-it's not like anything that we've ever—”


“I trust you,” Willow interrupted with a smile.
And so much more...

Quote:
Just as Willow’s role in the spell required raw power, Tara’s required focus. She used the time before the spell to put aside everything that had happened that evening that might interfere with that focus. She poured herself into the work, from the preparation of the room to anointing Willow, and pushed away the emotional shrapnel of the day. Bolstered by the spells they had placed on the room what felt like ages ago, Tara felt completely serene by the time they were ready to begin.
I like the way you describe this. I used to do these personal growth seminars. If you were late, you had to be "cleared" before you could enter the room. At first I (and everyone else) thinks that it's about basically getting a lecture about being late but what you realized was that it's really just to make sure that when you enter the room, you are really in the room. You're not with your flat tire, or screaming kid, or jerk boss or whatever. The only time I was ever late, there was an icestorm and a friend called and said would we pick her up so we were 11 minutes late. I went up asked to be cleared, said that we chose to be late to pick up said friend and that I was glad we were all safe and together and they said I was cleared.

Quote:
The sensation of Willow’s soul being sewn into hers was powerful and erotic.
Lovely description.

I don't want to quote the entire last 6-8 paragraphs but I feel like every line is very powerful. You describe the intensity of the spell and Tara's waiting as well as the residual eroticism of it very well.

Quote:

Finally, Willow’s eyes opened.


“I need to make you feel that.”


Here's how I want to feel about that line: I love it because Willow feels such intense passion and love with Tara that she is driven to share it. She wants to make love to Tara so share the passion and completion and oneness they can share.

Here's how I am afraid I feel about that line: Now Willow has another experiment planned for her exploration of this strange thing, this strange relationship she's in.

I trust you and I want it to be the first but with this particular Willow, I'm worried that she just wants another experiment to enact on Tara. "How does she react when I touch her here?" etc. But I don't want that to detract from how very much I love this update. Well done.


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 11:39 am 
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FEEDBACK.



*Warning: Smart Ass Alert**

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:09 am 
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You can't leave it on a cliffhanger like that for so long. We need to know what happens next.


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:10 pm 
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You can't leave it on a cliffhanger like that for so long. We need to know what happens next


I keep telling her that. Daily. Eventually she will update just to shut me up.

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (1 April 2012)
PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2013 4:31 am 
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Hey everyone.

I know "rapid updates" aren't exactly the hallmark of this fic. But it's been a particularly long time, and I wanted to let people know what's up.

A lot about this year hasn't been the easiest for me. I had a bought of depression--the insidious type, that wasn't really obvious at the time, but involved me losing interest in a lot of things that I love: reading and writing among them. Then this May, I had a major emotional trauma. I thought I would never write again, and I almost asked the mods to archive all of my work. But that would have involved coming back to the board to sort it out, and I couldn't do it.


But a funny thing happened the other day. I talked to Deb about Neverland, and afterwards, I looked at this. I thought it would just remind me of this May, but instead, it made me miss writing. I started working on the draft of the next chapter.

It felt good.

So, I'm hopeful that I will finish this story, and that an update is on the way. I do have a new job--hell, a new career--and a new major compared to when I last wrote here. And they keep me pretty busy. But I'm tinkering with the next update in my head as I drive, which is has historically been a good sign. I have hopes of getting this updated in the foreseeable future (I'm thinking by Thanksgiving).


It's not much, but below is one of my favorite parts from the update I'm working on.

Thanks for reading.

Kate



“Willow. Danielle. Rosenberg.” The way Tara slowly whispered the words sounded almost reverent, as if caressing each syllable as it went by. As she spoke, her lips brushed Willow’s index and middle fingers. Willow was torn. Part of her wanted to watch as those lips--those soft, beautiful lips—formed her name, as they kissed along her fingers between each word. But she couldn’t tear her gaze from Tara’s eyes. Willow felt the final kiss, placed against her fingertips. Then Tara paused and raised an eyebrow, as if checking that she was still paying attention. As if there was any doubt. Willow nodded anyway. She didn’t know precisely what Tara was doing, but she did know that she didn’t want it to stop. Tara smiled more broadly as she gently folded Willow’s thumb, ring, and little finger into a fist.

“If you do not intend,” Tara continued slowly, “to slide these two fingers . . . .” Willow felt her mouth go dry as her index and middle finger slowly disappeared into the warm wetness of Tara’s mouth, then reappeared just as slowly, but glinting. “. . . Into me. Over. And over . . . .” Tara bit Willow’s index finger and shook it. “Then first, you are an evil, evil tease.” Tara repeated the biting and shaking with Willow’s middle finger. “And second, I’m afraid I’m really going to need some private time.”

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (Status report: 3 October 2013)
PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2013 7:31 am 
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10. Troll Hammer

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Okay, I was just thinking of this thread yesterday, sparked by a couple "early days fics" I've been following here. And then, like Beetlejuice, or Sheldon . . . .

I'll blow past the "Sorries" and skip right to the "glad things are looking up for you" part!

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Snapshots:http://thekittenboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10210 a Love Story
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Kim: (breaks off the kissing) I l... (Sue stops her with a hand)
Sue: We don't talk about things like that right after, you know that, no saying those things in The Moment.
Kim: (moves the hand aside) Screw The Moment. I *love* you.


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (Status report: 3 October 2013)
PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2013 12:13 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Location: los angeles
Kate
Thank you for sharing. It hit home. With this update you gave me hope (excitement) & something to look forward to in the future. Your fic & the ones I follow have given me focus at least during the moments I take to read.
Thank you for the update.
Liz


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (Status report: 3 October 2013)
PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 4:20 am 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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Welcome back. I'm glad to see you for so many reasons (got your text while driving yesterday - no I didn't check it while driving). I'm looking forward to this getting going, especially if it's going to be like the teaser above.

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (Status report: 3 October 2013)
PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 10:10 am 
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9. Gay Now
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I'll second (third? Fourth?) the joy there!

And welcome back! And yay for you being in a better place now!

I've dealt with depression myself, and it can be kinda sucky.

So i wish you nothing but rainbows.




More story please?

I've kinda lost track of what's happening, so i think I'm gonna go do some reading to catch up.

But i do remember this as one of my faves, so i'm a happy kitten :bounce

Looking forward to more whenever you have the chance. :flower

R

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (Status report: 3 October 2013)
PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 5:55 pm 
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10. Troll Hammer

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Happy to see you are feeling inspired to write again.
Your little tease for an upcoming update will definitely have me coming back to read more.


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (Status report: 3 October 2013)
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 4:35 pm 
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9. Gay Now
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Location: Beyond the orbit of Mars and accelerating...
So, i went back and read it all again.

Amazing!

You totally have to finish this!
There are some good Willow & Tara stories out there, but this is one of the best.
You totally owe it to the girls to finish this.

And plus, i'm glad you're felling better.

R

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“All I feel is sunlight. All I hear is music.” Willow
How i Met Your Mother - By Ariel


My Story: Coming Home


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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (Status report: 3 October 2013)
PostPosted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 10:26 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey
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Oh man. When are you going to finish!

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 Post subject: Re: Queen of Hearts (Status report: 3 October 2013)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 2:43 am 
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Hi Kate

I just spent most of the day reading this (in between meetings and responding to emails at work!).

I'm a bit late in the game so a lot of my observations have been captured by others so just a small post from me. In all sincerity, this is without a doubt the best between-the-lines fic I've ever read. You've given us a very different version of Tara that we have seen on screen, however the way you wrote the actual on screen lines in there certainly has me re-thinking all of those W/T moments. Now I have to go back and rewatch all those episodes (not that I need an excuse lol). For me this speaks volumes about your talent as a writer that you inspire me to rethink these moments and tie them back to this story with relative ease.

I will definitely be hanging out for the next update whenever that may be (hell, like most of us on here I've been following Neverland for 10 years!)

Thanks
Kim

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The most anticipated Chapter in the history of fanfiction everywhere!


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