• Title - The True Nature of Soul Mates
• Author name – sapphoselene
• Email Address -
sapphoselene@yahoo.com
• Rating - Will start as PG-13 but may need higher rating as story progresses.
• Disclaimer - All BtVS characters belong to their developers (like Joss Whedon and Fox, etc.), I just want to play with them for a little bit. I promise to give them back right away. This will be a W/T story (it might be a little different than you are used to though). This story takes place after Chosen... it is an AU story... There will be angst (how much remains to be seen), it will deal with prolonged abuse (and it's aftermath).
• Feedback- Most welcome... please, anything that would help me to improve my writing skills is needed and accepted with open arms.
• Summary- Willow’s and Tara's souls fight to reunite. Nothing will be a barrier to them, not even death.
• Notes- Much love and thanks for encouragement goes to Mandy, KiWi, Zephyrine, Young, Alex, misanthropic, NeverChosen, and the rest of my many new friends in Kitten Chat. They helped to give me the courage to actually try and post my first story.
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{In this chapter I use the lyrics from the song “Stand My Ground” by Within Temptation. I intend no infringement of any kind, and I will not gain anything from this (other than the continued inspiration of the muses, and the enjoyment of any who wish to read my story). I only found the words perfect for what I wanted to convey in the dynamics that are beginning to evolve between some of the characters. Please take my borrowing of the words as the compliment that I wish it to be for having the passion and wording that I searched for.}
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Buffy couldn't bear to see how much pain Faith was in. She was shocked to finally know how much the younger slayer had been forced to live through. Her voice trembled when she began to speak. "Faith ... I forgive you. I had no idea what you had to live through. I have seen such a difference in you since you came back to help us defeat the First. I wasn't sure if it was real or just an act until now. I wanted to believe that it was real. I watch you with the girls, and I have loved what I have seen in you. You have started showing how big your heart is. I understand how scary that is for you now." Buffy pulled Faith into a fierce hug. "I need you to hear this Faith. I need you to understand this. ... I... don't ... hate... you. ... I never did, and believe me I tried. I was jealous of you. It seemed that things were just so easy for you. You came in and turned my world upside down. When we were in each other's bodies I learned a little about how you lived too. I began to see how hard and painful it was to be looked down on, and treated so badly. I wanted to help things change for you. When we switched back you took off before I could tell you. As time passed I let my anger and jealousy grow again. When you showed up again I didn't want to get hurt, so I wouldn't let myself trust you. Over the last few months that has changed. I am so proud of the strength and determination you are showing. I see you becoming the person you were always meant to be. You ... are ...family Faith, and you always will be."
Faith clung desperately to Buffy hardly able to believe what she was hearing. Could this really happen for her? Would they actually accept her even after all the stuff she had done? The strength of Buffy's arms around her comforted her, and gave her hope that this wasn't just a dream. "Thank you B. I don't know the words to say what this means to me. I promise you won't be sorry. I will do anything to prove myself to you. I've never had a real family, and I'm not going to screw it up this time." Faith drew back a little so she could look into Buffy's eyes. "You know I will still kick your ass if you start doing something stupid B." Faith gave Buffy one of her famous smirks. They both started laughing. After a few moments they became aware of movement coming from the bed. They quickly dried their eyes and got up to see what was happening.
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chapter 4
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As they approached the bed they could see Tara beginning to move. Her face was etched with fear. They heard her begin to whimper. "No... please... I'm sorry... I won't do it again... please... no... please... NO...PLEASE... I'M SORRY... PLEASE DON'T..." Buffy and Faith looked at each other not knowing what to do.
Willow rolled over in her sleep, and put her arm around Tara. Slowly Tara's movements calmed. She grew quiet. Her face relaxed, and she seemed to grow peaceful. Willow's leg moved to cover Tara's instinctively. Both of them began to smile in their sleep.
"Ok B, now that was just weird. Did you see what I saw?"
"Yeah. I did. I've seen this happen before. A couple of years ago when Willow would have nightmares about frogs she woke me up. I went to check on her and saw Tara do the same thing, and Willow calmed down right away. The only one that was ever able to calm Willow's nightmares while she was still asleep was Tara. I get the feeling that a lot more than we thought might be going on." She looked at Faith. "Do you think that this might really be our Tara somehow?"
"God B. I don't know. I mean we have seen some pretty freaky shit since we became Slayers. Who knows B... fuck.” Faith ran her hands through her hair in frustration. “I don't know how, but if it is the same Tara I want to know how and why this happening."
"Me too."
The two girls went back to sitting and watching. They waited for a few more hours before their patience was rewarded. Tara and Willow began to wake up at the same time. As Willow began to be aware of her surroundings she noticed that she felt so much more at peace than she had in a very long time. She felt a warmth flooding her. She heard and felt someone breathing under her arm. Slowly she opened her eyes, and found herself drawn into deep pools of sapphire. For a moment she forgot everything that had happened in the last year and a half. She smiled, leaned in, and kissed Tara. Tara went stiff, and Willow could feel the fear pouring off of her. Her mind cleared, and she remembered everything. "Oh... goddess... I am so sorry Tara. I didn't mean to frighten you." Willow untangled herself from the other woman. "Please don't be upset... I was still half asleep and kinda dreaming. I would never try to take advantage of you. I mean ... not that you aren't beautiful because you are. It's just that I don't go around kissing everyone I see. But you are majorly kiss worthy... anyone would be a fool not to want to kiss you, because you have the softest lips. Oh goddess... somebody shut me up please..."
Tara's mouth quirked into a half smile. Slowly she reached out a hand to the blushing, babbling girl next to her, and put her fingers on her lips to stop the flow of words. "I-it's ok. Y-y-you just s-startled me. That's all." A small blush appeared on Tara's cheeks and she tried to hide her face. "It's n-nice that you think I'm p-pretty. N-no one has ever s-said anything l-l-like that to me before." The next words were barely whispered. "I think you are beautiful, and I'm g-glad that you were the f-first one t-to kiss me."
The two on the bed first became aware of their audience when Faith opened the door and sent Kassidy to go get Giles. They both blushed deeper red as they sat up on opposite sides of the bed. Tara instantly ducked her head to hide behind a curtain of hair. Willow saw this, and went around the bed to kneel in front of her. She gently placed her hand under Tara's chin, and raised her face until she could see her eyes again. "Please, ...please don't ever hide yourself like that. You are beautiful. You have nothing to be ashamed of, or frightened about. Can you try to do that for me?"
Tara looked at the redhead in wonder. No one had talked to her like this before. She didn't know what to do so she just nodded her head and smiled a half smile. Nervously she glanced at the other two girls in the room. She was surprised to see no anger in them. They looked kinda sad for some reason. Her heart went out to them.
Moments later the door opened again and Giles walked in. He looked better than he did the last time the slayers saw him. "Good you are both awake. There is much that you need to know and understand. Please everyone be seated."
Willow sat next to Tara on the bed. Giles sat in the chair. Buffy and Faith sat on the other side of the bed. Once everyone had settled in Giles began again. "Willow, this will be easier for you to understand given your knowledge and training." Giles turned kind, and gentle eyes to Tara. "My dear, I feel that what I must say will be difficult for you to understand and believe at first. First I must ask Willow to do a demonstration so that it may be easier for you to understand what you need to know. Willow, ... I need you to do a spell for Tara. Be careful when you do. Your power has been augmented by hers."
"Look Mr. Giles l-like I said b-before there is no such thing as m-m-magick. It is just t-tricks and illusions. Why are y-y-you ..." Tara stopped talking abruptly because she had begun to rise off the bed. Her face went white with fear.
Willow got up and stood in front of Tara. "Please don't be afraid. I won't let anything happen to you. I will keep you perfectly safe. Slowly Willow turned Tara, and then gently set her back in the middle of the bed with her back against the headboard. Willow went to her and put her hand on Tara's. "See, no bumps or bruises. I won't let you get hurt. Magick is nothing to be afraid of. Are you ok?"
Tara's color had returned, and she had a look of wonder on her face. "I n-never thought th-that magick c-could be real. H-how did you d-do that?" She stared wide eyed at Willow.
Willow sat beside her still holding her hand. "I can explain later. Right now I think it is real important to listen to what Giles has to say... ok?"
"Oh, yes... I'm s-sorry Mr. Giles. P-please go ahead."
"Thank you Tara. Can you begin to understand the gravity of what we are needing to deal with?" After she nodded he continued. "While down in the library something dreadfully frightening happened. We had to take measures to contain the situation. This will directly effect both of you. You see Tara when you got upset, and your stress rose something happened in you that released the magick that was dormant in you. ... Please allow me to finish before you start with questions. I may be able to answer some of them beforehand. Now, the magick that had been trapped inside of you began to release all at once. This would have literally destroyed you, as well as those around you, and much of the complex as well. Understand dear that none of this is the fault of anything you have or have not done. It simply is."
Willow griped Tara's hand tighter to lend strength to her. She felt the blond begin to shake with fear over what could have happened. Tara looked at her with tears in her eyes. Willow reached her other hand out to gently caress Tara's cheek. "You couldn't have helped any of it. Don't worry we'll figure this out. I know that you wouldn't knowingly hurt anyone. I can see what a gentle soul you are. Trust me ... we will help you. Can you trust me?"
Tare looked deep into emerald eyes, and saw nothing but compassion, strength, and the desire to help. For the first time in her life a feeling of peace drifted slowly into her heart. With a confidence she never felt before she spoke. "I trust you. Please help me. You are right when you s-say that I don't want t-to hurt anyone. Please ... please I j-just want ..." Unable to continue she dropped her eyes, and turned her head away.
"Tara? ... Hey, look at me. What is it that you want. Let us help you. We can do just about anything you know." Willow gave her a brilliant smile.
Tara looked around. She saw only looks of encouragement and concern. She took a few deep breaths. She turned back to Willow, and in a soft pleading voice said. "I w-want to b-be f-free. I d-don't want to b-be hurt anymore. Can you help m-me?"
You could have heard a pin drop in the deafening silence that permeated the room. Willow had tears rolling down her cheeks. She spun around and gathered Tara in a fierce hug. Faith and Buffy both helped to surround the terrified blond with their strength. It was Giles that spoke first. There was fire and steel in his voice. "We will do everything in our power to see that no one will ever be allowed to hurt you again. No on will ever be permitted to take you from here against your will. You can stay with us for as long as you like. We will teach you everything we can. We will help you to become strong enough so that no one can threaten you again."
For the first time in her life Tara felt safe and protected. Her body shook with relief. Tears streamed down her face. She cried all the tears that she had suppressed over the years. After several minutes passed her body stilled and her tears stopped. She lifted her head and gave Willow her first real smile. It shone from her eyes with such brilliance. Willow was momentarily transported back to the last time she saw her Tara give her that same smile. Quickly before Tara could see the desire rise in her eyes Willow repositioned herself back at the headboard. "Giles, we need to know more about the ritual, and what it did. Right?" Buffy and Faith repositioned themselves on the bed. Buffy sat on the other side of Tara holding her hand, and Faith stretched out along the foot of the bed. Unconsciously the three girls had created a barrier around Tara to keep her safe.
Giles took off his glasses and began cleaning them. "Quite right Willow. Tara, when the magick started to pour out of you uncontrolled we had to act quickly. I shot you with a tranquilizer dart to give us enough time to perform a binding ritual. We have temporarily bound you and your magick to Willow. She was the only one that could handle the power level your magick was at. There are some drawbacks to the ritual. It is of the utmost importance that you understand this as both of your lives depend on it. The nature of the binding is such that you must remain in close physical proximity to one another. As magick is not an exact science I can't tell you how far apart you can get before you start to feel the pains. If you get to far apart the pains will grow strong and it is possible... no, I won't lie to you. If you get too far apart you will both die. I am sorry that I didn't warn you of this before Willow, ... and Tara ... I know that this frightens you both. I can tell you that this is temporary. Once we can get you trained well enough we can release the binding, and then there won't be a problem with distance any longer. Willow, you and I will be her teachers on Wiccan laws, and Magick . We need to work hard, and get her trained quickly. You will not be able to contain her added power for an extended period. After some time has passed It will begin to destroy you. I assure you girls that this was the only solution. We had no other options available to us. As I explained to the others, I have seen this twice before. The first time the person was destroyed by the magick as well as 1/2 a city block. The second I performed the ritual; binding myself to the other one. We were able to get her trained well enough to break the binding safely. It is my wish and intention to repeat the success of the second one again. Tara, I know that this is a lot to take in all at once. However we don't have the luxury of time. Will you be willing to let us train you to understand and control your magick?"
Completely overwhelmed by the risks and dangers involved in what was happening. Tara looked around at everyone. Her eyes settled at last on Willow. No matter what she couldn't let this gentle woman suffer for her. She looked back at Giles. "Y-yes, Mr. Giles. J-just t-tell me what to do."
Heaving a great sigh of relief Giles looked at Willow. "My dear after we get some refreshment maybe you can start with teaching her some of the Wiccan and Magick laws. I hate to push so fast, but I need you to understand that time is not on our side in this."
"Of course Giles. Don't worry, you have made it very clear just how important time is right now." She pulled Tara into a sideways hug. "I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. We'll try to make it as painless as we can. Do you feel up to getting something to eat, and then we can work in the library with some of the books on basic Wiccan laws, and Magick?"
"S-s-sure. I'm n-not really hungry though." Her stomach growled as she said this. She looked completely embarrassed, and tried to hide her face again.
Willow reached out and raised her chin. "Hey... you are going to try to stop hiding... remember?" She said gently. "I think that we should listen to your body about if you are hungry. Magick and rituals can deplete your energies, and cause you to need more food to replenish them."She smiled sweetly. "After all I'm your teacher now ... so you gotta listen to me right?"
Looking at Willow and giving her a half smile Tara agreed. She let herself be led to the dining hall where they all had a good meal. Tara surprised them by getting a large steak, grilled vegetables, mashed potatoes, and garlic bread. The Tara that they all remembered had nearly been a total vegetarian. She grew nervous when she noticed the curious looks that the group gave her. "D-d-d-did I d-d-do something w-w-wrong?"
Faith was the first to answer. "No T. you've done nothing wrong since we first saw you. Trust me, I know what doing something wrong is, and you are nothing like how I was." Her eyes looked sad, and were filled with pain and self loathing. Before Buffy could reassure her that she was forgiven and accepted, Tara shocked the group. She stood went to Faith and pulled her gently into a fierce bear hug. Faith felt the comfort, acceptance and unexpected love coming from Tara. She began to cry as Tara just stood there holding the broken slayer, and murmuring soothing words. Softly Tara began to sing.
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"I can see
when you stay low nothing happens.
Does it feel right?
Late at night
things I thought I put behind me
haunt my mind.
I just know there's no escape now
once it sets its eyes on you.
But I won't run, have to stare it in the eye.
Stand my ground, I won't give in.
No more denying, I've got to face it.
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside.
If I don't make it,
someone else will stand my ground.
It's all around, getting stronger,
coming closer into my world.
I can feel that it's time for me to face it,
can I take it?
Though this might just be the ending
of the life I held so dear.
But I won't run,
there's no turning back from here.
Stand my ground, I won't give in.
No more denying, I've got to face it.
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside.
If I don't make it,
someone else will stand my ground.
All I know for sure is I'm trying.
I will always stand my ground.
Stand my ground, I won't give in.
No more denying, I've got to face it.
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside.
If I don't make it,
someone else will stand my ground.
Stand my ground, I won't give in.
No more denying, I've got to face it.
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside.
If I don't make it,
someone else will stand my ground." (Stand My Ground by Within Temptation)
~~~~~
As Tara began to sing Willow went and enfolded the two women in her arms. While the song continued a subtle golden glow surrounded them. The glow faded as the song ended.
"Uh... Will? What's with the glowiness of the group hugging?" Buffy had gotten up and stood a couple steps back from the other girls.
"What do you mean Buff? There was glowing?"
"Willow there was a soft glow while Tara was singing. It began after you joined her and Faith. We need to talk about this and figure out why the magick was being accessed during your hug after we finish eating." Giles indicated that everyone retake their seats and finish their meals.
Faith stood still for a few moments. She had the look of a person completely at peace. For the first time in her memory she felt like she was finally home. She looked at Tara and Willow. Faith gave them a blinding smile filled with joy. "I don't know what you did, but thank you. Thank you." She took her seat next to Buffy.
Giles was startled for a moment. "Faith, perhaps you should join us for the beginning at least."
Faith smiled over at him. "Sure thing G. I'd be happy to."
Before anything else could be said they heard the doors to the dining hall slam open. A brunette came flying in the room. She ran straight to Tara and engulfed her in a hug. "Tara... Tara you're back... don't leave again... please. Oh please don't ever leave again..." The brunette's body was shaking with sobs.
The look of shock and terror on Tara’s face surprised everyone. She froze in place hardly breathing. She recognized the face of her cousin, Dawn, the one who liked to torture her the most. In that moment her mind was trapped in her fears that she would be found, and returned to her tormenters. Buffy and Willow approached the pair. Willow spoke softly, and gently placed her hands on Tara’s shoulders. Buffy pried her sister’s arms from around Tara.
“Buffy what are you doing?” The confused brunette rounded on her shorter blond sibling. “Tara’s back, and you won’t even let me hug her? What’s wrong with you? She was like a mother to me after mom died. I can’t lose her again. ... Not again.” Dawn’s voice broke as she collapsed in her sister’s arms.
Buffy held on to her sister, soothing her with quiet words and gentle hands. A few moments later Xander ran through the doors out of breath, and concerned. He slowed down, but still went to Buffy and Dawn. His heart was aching for the pain and loss the Summers sisters had been through. Without a word he wrapped his arms around them, comforting them with his quiet strength. When he pulled them near his heart started weeping for all the pain of the last several years.
Seeing the woman she thought to be her cousin behave so completely different from anything she had ever experienced Tara was confused. Feeling Willow’s comforting touch on her shoulders Tara begins to relax. When she hears what Dawn says, and watches the girl fall apart in Buffy’s arms, Tara tentatively steps forward. Feeling drawn to the young woman’s grief she reaches a shaking hand out, and touches the brunette’s back. When Dawn turns Tara fights to stay as relaxed as she can. Surprising everyone Tara asks “Is your name Dawn Maclay?”
“Not really, it’s Dawn Summers. Buffy?” She glances back at her sister for a spit second. “Tara? ... Are you ok? ... Don’t you remember us?”
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... Big yay for Faith telling Buffy about her childhood and what she had to go through and big yay for Buffy forgiving Faith and accepting Faith as a member of Scooby Family...