Chapter One
Pairing: W/T
Rating: PG-13 for language
Angst/Drama Rating: This is about a 3 on the 1-10 scale.
Setting: The Grove – Tucson
Disclaimer: I in no way, shape or form own the characters from BtVS, they’re owned by Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. All original characters are in no way connected to them except by me in this forum. I own nothing but my soul, and even that is only a fleeting ownership… such is life.
Email:
riverwillows@me.comFeedback: If you’re up for, it’s always appreciated.
Overall Summary: Everything up to most of “Seeing Red” happens, BUT (and there's always that handy dandy "but", isn't there?) obviously it had a different outcome. I took liberties, I'm playing with timeliness and will push them forwards and back to suit my plot as needed (ain't that a bitch?). That's what makes it AU with a Canon backbone, most are my own creation, with some borrowing going on. Some characters will only float in and out not as main characters. “Seeing Red” doesn’t happen completely canon nor does season- what is it I've seen? Slayven? That follows afterward in my little opus. But I have plans - oh yes, I have plans, lol.
This will be my version of the story and how I think things could have been done. There will be characters, situations, and additions that weren't there and subtractions as I see fit so that is what pushes this into the "slight AU" category. It's a rough start, it does get better - I promise. Thanks for reading.
Author’s Notes: In General: This is my first attempt at fanfic, and my first at writing something that would remotely resemble a story in a VERY, VERY long time. So please bear with me. I know it's a rocky start, and as I get more comfortable, finding my style again and back in the swing, it does get better. All constructive criticism will be welcomed. Each chapter will have Author’s Notes and rating adjustments as needed – so watch for those. Flashbacks are in italics and only a few chapters will have them.The car was quickly heading through town heading back to The Grove. Dana was at the wheel of her baby blue convertible VW Bug, and Willow was sitting with her face turned upwards to the sun enjoying its warmth. Dana sped up as they were leaving the city, and moving towards the edges of town.
As they approached a four way stop, they both noticed a beat up pickup truck pulled off on the opposite side of the road. A petite woman standing on the fender wearing the smallest pair of shorts either woman had seen in a long time.
They both looked at each other, and Willow shrugged at Dana, saying, “Your call, you’re driving.”
So Dana pulled over to the other side of the road in front of the truck. As they pulled up, they could hear the woman cursing loudly, and quite well.
When the engine stopped, the little female barely glanced over her shoulder, as she kept banging on some part of the engine. Dana and Willow got out of the car and approached the truck. Standing there for a few minutes listening to her cuss and bang, Dana cleared her throat.
“Motherfucker!” The young woman bellowed.
The young woman yelled loudly before she jumped off of the fender, and turned to face them. She looked Dana and Willow up and down before her eyes lingered on Willow, with a rather intense gaze.
“Well, at least you aren’t the creepy cowboy wannabes that are normally out here,” She said.
Dana and Willow looked at each other again.
“Not to state the obvious, but, uh, do you need some help or something? Call a tow truck, maybe?” Dana asked.
The young woman pulled a rag out from under the hood and smiled as she wiped off her hands. “That would be great if you don’t mind. My name’s Claudia, but everyone calls me Claude,” she said as she stuck her hand out.
Dana took her hand first. “I’m Dana and this is Willow.”
“Willow,” she said as she shook Willow’s hand, holding it just a little too long. Willow pulled back her hand self-consciously.
“Hi,” Willow said and gave a small wave.
Claude was a very petite woman with brown hair streaked with gold from being out in the sun, and she was very tan. Her features were pixie-like – high sharp cheekbones, and large, expressive eyes. Her stature only encouraged this image, as she was barely five feet tall.
Compared to both Willow – who was not tall at almost five feet six inches, Dana looked like a giant, being nearly six feet tall. Her rail thin frame was topped off with a mop of extremely curly, blonde hair, and gold, almond shaped eyes, much like a cats. No hints of brown or green in her eyes, just a rich gold.
The trio of striking women made an odd sight, as they stood along the side of the deserted desert road, staring at each other.
“So, do you need to call someone for a ride?” Dana asked as Willow shot her a look.
Claude didn’t miss it the exchange either, and said, “Umm, actually the ride would be great, it’s not far. I’m staying at Canyon Ranch, maybe five or six miles back.”
Willow sighed heavily, shifting her feet as she gave Dana a baleful look.
“No, that’s fine. It’s on our way. We’ll pass right by it,” she said. “Are you a guest or an employee?”
“Employee,” Claude smiled, “I’m the recreational guide, slash manager, slash gardener. I arrange hiking, rock climbing, nature tours to the caverns – things like that for the guests. A girl’s got to do something for fun around here. So where are you two headed? There’s not much out here but ranches and coyotes.” She said with a shrug.
Willow looked at Dana with a raised eyebrow, waiting to see how she answered without giving too much away.
“The Grove,” she said without elaborating.
“Oh…oh. That’s like a religious retreat or something, right?”
“That’s one way to put it,” Willow muttered.
Claude looked back and forth between the two. “You’re not in a cult or something are you?”
Dana laughed outright as Willow smirked before saying, “No, not at all.”
“And you’re not going to try to convert me or anything?” Claude teased.
Willow snickered at the comment, shaking her head Dana said, “No, that’s not what we do.”
“Oh, ok, good. Well, let me grab a few things, and we can go,” Claude replied.
She turned, and used the bumper to push off, grabbed the hood to slam it closed, which set off another round of very colorful cursing. She went to the cab of the truck, reached in and pulled a few things out including a backpack, slamming the door as she went. Walking past the front tire she kicked it muttering, “Piece of shit, pain in my ass…”
Willow was leaning against the car door staring at her feet, lost in thought. The look on Willow’s face made Claude stop short to study her. When Willow looked up, Claude’s face was one of concern as she was left to wonder why the pretty redhead seemed to be so profoundly sad.
“Front seat or back seat?” Willow asked quietly.
Smiling brightly to lighten the somber mood, Claude said, “I’ll take the back.”
As she moved to get in, Willow noticed how tan Claude was, and how white her smile seemed against her skin. Willow also realized she was being checked out with more than a passing interest. An obviously uncomfortable flush creep over Willow’s face, making her shift nervously on her feet and stiffen slightly. Willow opened the door, motioning Claude into the car.
“Thanks,” Claude said, tossing her backpack over the seat, and hopping in.
“Are you ok? You really should have a hat, and sunscreen, and maybe even a long sleeve shirt. You’re so fair…here,” Claude picked up her backpack and rummaged through it, saying “Take this, it will help.”
She had handed Willow a bottle of water, and taking it with a weak smile, Willow said quietly, “Thanks.”
“Hold on to your hats ladies!” Dana yelled, as the VW Bug roared to life and she mashed on the gas pedal shooting the little car out onto the road, dust flying.
As they drove, Dana could see Claude watching Willow intently in her rear view mirror, which Willow was completely oblivious to. So lost in her own thoughts, she paid no attention to their surroundings, or the conversation being yelled back and forth around her.
Slowly turning the bottle of water in her hands, Willow was thinking about the last time she saw Tara. Claude’s open interest brought familiar old feelings to the surface; it always came back to Tara. Her throat tightened, and she felt tears building behind her eyes. Blinking rapidly trying to stop the tears that she knew would come – that always came – she began to wish she hadn’t left The Grove that day. It would have saved her guilt, memories, and the shame she always felt when her thoughts meandered back to the woman that still holds her heart. Yet again, it all came screaming back.
Tara was crying and begging Willow not to leave, her own tears streaming down her face. But what was worse was the fear Willow could see in her beloved’s eyes; the knowledge that the woman she loved more than the air she breathed, feared her. She had been so good, worked so hard, to get her dependence and reliance on the dark magicks under control, only to have it ruined in one fleeting moment.
When Willow heard the shot, and Xander screamed, she and Tara jumped off of the couch, looking out the window. Her mouth dropped open when she saw Warren waving a gun at Buffy, bellowing, his face almost purple and contorted in rage. He began firing the gun without really aiming at any target. In that instant, it all changed. Willow would not let him hurt her friends, her family.
Warren turned, and looked at her, but didn’t really see her through the rage coursing through him so heavy she could smell it. When he fired again, it seemed like everything slowed down. She could even see the bullet as it left the barrel its path traveling directly towards Tara standing next to her.
That’s all it took.
This was the one thing that pushed her over the edge; the one thing that could make her throw all the months of work out the window with both hands. She heard herself roar, “YOU WILL NOT HURT HER!!” and with a flick of her hand, the bullet stopped in mid-air. With another motioning, she turned the bullet around, and with all her anger, she sent it flying back at Warren.
The force was such that when it hit the gun it exploded, pushing straight through, and hitting Warren right between the eyes blowing the back of his head off. Glass shattered everywhere from the force of the pulse of magicks Willow sent to stop the bullet. Xander was cradling Buffy and Willow had pushed Tara to the floor.
She stood, shaking, her eyes black and magick crackled from her finger tips, as every nerve tingled. She looked down at Tara and saw it; that was the first time she saw fear. FEAR. Fear of her in her lover’s eyes and it was almost an audible snap, and she crashed to her knees next to Tara, whispering, “Oh Gods, what have I done?”
Her eyes were still black as she began to shake, sweat, and cry. She never thought she was capable of killing another human being. Demons and vampires were one thing, but taking a human life? She looked again at Tara and the fear was still there, the one thing she never thought she would see…She pulled herself out of her bitter reverie when the car jerked to a stop. She started to get out, but Claude hopped over the door pulling her back pack with her.
“Thank you, both for the ride,” Claude said as she watched Willow.
Willow smiled stiffly, and Dana said, “Not a problem. Will your truck be ok?”
“Yeah, this isn’t the first time this has happened. I’ll just have one of the guys go drag it back up here,” Claude said with a sigh.
She looked again at Willow, her head cocked to one side, as if she was trying to figure her out, and delighted at the prospect. “Well, umm, yeah, well, like I said, I arrange for day and overnight trips for hiking, and we have cabins in the Chiricahua Mountains. It’s beautiful this time of year, and cooler than the city, so umm, just to return the favor you know, if you guys wanted to do an overnight stay, I could arrange it – it would be my treat,” she said as she looked hopefully at Willow. “You know, return a good deed kinda thing?”
Willow had no idea this was all being directed to her since she was still absently staring at the unopened bottle of water in her hands.
Dana piped up, “That’s very sweet of you, should we just call the ranch or come by?” she said as she shot a look at Willow.
“Yeah, that’s great, you can stop by anytime you like. Just ask for me at the front desk.” Claude said smiling hopefully.
Dana nudged Willow, trying to draw her back to the present. “What? Umm, yeah, thank you. That sounds nice.”
“Well, we’ve got to be on our way. Thanks again, Claude. That’s very sweet of you,” Dana said as she started the car, waving as she backed out and headed down the driveway.
They sat in silence, Willow once again had her face turned to the sun with her eyes closed. Dana noticed the tears creeping down her face and knew why without asking. Finally, she said, “You know that offer was really directed at you, right?”
With a shaky sigh, Willow said, “Actually I did, I’m not completely oblivious.” She opened her eyes, wiping at the tears with the back of her hand, and stared at the landscape, as she dropped the water onto the floor under her feet.
Giving her a sidelong glance Dana said, “You have no intention of calling on her do you?”
With a sad smile, Willow replied, “None at all.”
Dana smiled sadly and patted Willow’s knee. She knew some of what Willow had been through, and it was so much so quickly over the last eighteen months for anyone, much less a young woman of her age. Not only was her heart bruised but her soul had been scarred by what happened. All the conflicting emotions that often made things harder for Willow; concentration is hard under normal circumstance, but it can be nearly impossible when your emotions are in turmoil. Dana did not envy Willow her lot in life at the moment, as they made the turn onto the long gravel driveway back to The Grove.
TBC…
Chapter Two
Pairing: W/T eventually
Rating: PG-13 for language and mild violence
Angst/Drama Rating: So I guess this should be here too since much like life nothing comes easy; I'd say on a scale of 1-10 this is about a 4.
Setting: The Grove and Sunnydale
Disclaimer: I in no way, shape or form own the characters from BtVS, they’re owned by Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. All original characters are in no way connected to them except by me in this forum. No money is involved this is simply for my own pleasure.
Email:
riverwillows@me.comFeedback: Sure but if you wanna rip me a new one do it by pm, please.
As soon as the car stopped, Willow felt better. The comfort of The Grove had an immediate calming effect on her. She began to feel less raw, but her thoughts were still on Tara. Wondering what she was doing, how she was doing, if she thought of Willow as much as she thought of her.
Often she woke in the night and could smell Tara as if she were in the room with her. Her perfume, and soap, sweet, and rich like honey; the smells suited the gentle young woman. Bringing back with them all the memories of the quiet, tender moments spent with Tara.
Willow shook herself to clear the memories away, and Dana watched sadly while following her into the main hall. “What do you need, Will?” she asked.
Without any hesitation, Willow responded sullenly, “Tara.”
Dana pulled her into a tight hug, and this time Willow allowed the embrace, shaking while she tried to keep the tears in check, as Dana attempted to comfort her. After a few minutes, Willow broke the embrace with a heavy sigh.
“Can we do some exercises? I just need something else to focus on,” Willow asked.
“Absolutely, would you like just you and I, or would you like me to get Lady Rowan, too?” Dana replied.
Willow thought for a minute, then nodding she said, “Yes, then you both can really run me through my paces.”
Dana left, and Willow headed outside towards the field. It had once been a baseball diamond but when the coven had taken it over they left it to grow to its natural state. Since this was the desert, the grass had, for the most part, died off, and it was now just an open field filled with scrub brush and cactus.
Some wildflowers grew, a few bright orange poppies, but not much of anything else. She walked to the middle of the field, sat down in the lotus position, closed her eyes while breathing deeply, and tried to focus.
The whole idea behind the exercises was to remain focused, not let anger cloud Willow’s better judgment; to keep a balance between her emotions, and her power, and where she draws it from. As she sat waiting, Willow’s mind wandered back over the past eighteen months.
The darkness would always be a part of Willow, but it is part she can control. In the last year, she had been taught how to control her impulses – all the things that made giving into the quick power easily. Instead let the energy dissipate, allowing only the positive side of her magic to come through.
The six months she had spent in England with Giles had been the hardest of her life. Everything that happened with Warren could be explained away, in that when he tried to take more shots the gun had failed exploding in his hand. With Buffy wounded, and everything happening so quickly, the only people that really knew what had happened were Willow, Tara, Giles the covens in England, and now Tucson that she was working with. Buffy and Xander never really saw or knew what had transpired that afternoon.
Willow had to stop practicing everything altogether. She had to relearn how to do everyday tasks without the magicks she had come to rely upon so heavily. That’s when she realized just how bad she had gotten, she no longer did the simplest of tasks without ‘helping’ it along.
It truly made her feel like a junkie; when the withdrawals began – the sweats, the shakes, the nausea, the muscle pain and cramping. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced. Then there were the white streaks that had started when she was in England. They started at her pronounced widow’s peak and framed her face on either side. It made such a contrast to her flame red hair and deep green jewel like eyes, especially being barely twenty-two.
When she thought she had finally gotten through it all though, the magicks had remained, and Giles came to her. He told her that she was unique, that being able to stop using dark magicks but continue to grow stronger was unheard of – there simply was no known case of it – ever. The council had tried to measure her powers once before when she first arrived in England, and could not find a limit. Now, if she could be taught properly how to harness and use her powers, that would make her more valuable than the Hope Diamond. Then he talked about a coven in the United States that had agreed to help her learn.
All of this ran through Willow’s mind as she sat on what would have been second base. She felt more than heard Dana and Rowan as they approached, but did not move continuing to focus. The older women slowly started to circle her slowly. The electricity in the air began to pick up making Willow’s skin tingle, and the hairs on her arms stand up.
Rowan and Dana moved in opposite directions as they began to draw their energies. Willow was now focusing on the ball of white energy that she started to envision in her solar plexus, moving it to her heart, and letting it grow until it surrounded her entire body.
First, Rowan sent a charge of energy directly at Willow that bounced off with a hissing sound like water on a hot skillet. Dana then sent a rush of energy that undulated like the heat coming off the dry desert roads in July. Only Willow’s hair fluttered, never once opening her eyes, she sent a pulse of energy that knocked both her mentors off of their feet. She continued to focus on the ball of energy at her breast letting the pain of her emotions flow out of her, as the warmth of the energy replaced it.
Simultaneously Rowan and Dana sent energy at Willow, cracking like lightning. There was a reason this field was empty, with all the energy used in this area nothing much would grow, and fires had broken out before during fledgling training sessions.
When Willow was particularly sad, as she was today, her focus was intense and she had slowly risen several inches off the ground. She rotated so she was facing both women. Energy shots passed back and forth between them for almost two hours. Then slowly the older witches began to rise against their will. Willow had gotten past their defenses, and lifted them several feet off the ground, then began to turn them upside down.
In a matter of seconds, she had them both dangling by the ankle, hands prone at their sides no longer able to cast. The three witches stayed like this until Rowan called out, “Okay, okay, all the blood is in my head, it’s hot and I’m old, you win!”
Slowly they both turned upright and were set down on their feet. Willow had started to lower herself as well, but she still sat with her eyes closed, tears streaming down her face, but no sound gave away her tears. Willow finally began to move again and looked up to see both her friends looking down at her with their concern written all over their faces.
“Sister, what disturbs you today?” Rowan asked gently as she reached her hand down to Willow.
“Nothing, My Lady; just old ghosts, as usual,” Willow said with a pained smile.
Nodding her head, Rowan spoke softly, “I see, child, always remember to breathe. It may not take the pain away, but it will make it more tolerable.” She pressed a dry wrinkled hand to Willows check. “You did very well today; you didn’t have to open your eyes once. Your progress is amazing, dear.”
Willow looked at her feet, and muttered, “For a killer,” Willow turned on her heel, and walked away heading back to the main hall.
Rowan looked at Dana and sighed. “Does she know yet?”
Dana looked down at her hands. “No, My Lady, I wasn’t sure how she would be if I told her Tara still wants to see her, if in fact, she does, now that she’s back stateside. She still seems so fragile, and Giles won’t say anything to me. I don’t know how long the Maclay girl has been hounding him but from his voice quite some time. It’s only been in the last few months that Willow has truly made unbelievable progress, that she seems to be getting strong again – and not just with her magicks, My Lady.”
Rowan sighed heavily, her brow furrowing with concern and care, “Sister, we cannot keep this from her. If the Maclay girl still wants to see Willow, still wants to…love her, and has forgiven her, we cannot stop them. It is my understanding she too is powerful. Born and raised in it, taught to respect what the Goddess gives, and to never misuse it. If this is so, and their souls are truly mated, we have no right to cause either anymore suffering. Besides, we cannot coddle Willow forever, as much as we might like to keep her safe.”
As they began walking back to the main hall, Dana began, “That was part of their problems; Tara had been raised by a mother that was also a Sister of the Goddess. She died when Tara was a teenager, and her father and brother – I use those terms loosely – did awful things to her, My Lady. This is only what Rupert has told me, so while it’s accurate I have a feeling he left a lot out.” Dana paused, “What would you have me do, My Lady? I can drive there in a day to find her; Rupert will tell me where she is.”
Rowan thought for a moment as they entered the main hall, going directly to her office, Rowan closed the door behind them. “Sit, Sister.”
She walked around an elaborate oak desk that had the Triquetra Goddess symbol and of all sorts of protections symbols carved into it. Rowan sat down heavily in her chair; she pushed at her bob of salt and pepper hair, trying to keep it out of her warm brown eyes.
Rowan’s expression was contemplative as she spoke, “I may be wrong, but I think we should test the water with both girls first. Willow is an exceptional young woman and witch, but it pains me to see her like this for so long. Obviously, theirs was an extraordinary relationship, and now we have a chance to perhaps give them back to one another. With that kind of joy in her life, can you imagine what kind of peace it would bring her? How much more her power would grow? What would the pair of them be like if we can bring them back together? You saw Willow today, not a scratch on her or us. If we can make this happen for her, we
owe her that much. I fear without it, she will not fulfill the path she is destined to walk, and never be what she was born to be, Dana.”
Two days later in SunnydaleThe front door of 1630 Revello Drive slammed open, and Dawn bounced in yelling, “Anyone home?”
“In here, sweetie,” Came the soft tones of Tara’s voice. She turned, and smiled at Dawn, as she took a seat on one of the bar stools around the center island.
“What do you want for dinner Dawnie? We have options,” Tara smiled.
With a bright smile, Dawn asked, “Ooo, options! What ‘options’ do we have?”
“Well, I was in the garden trimming some basil today, so we could have Pasta Pomodoro. There’s also some chicken, and I could trim some rosemary, and we could have it with some roasted veggies – you have to eat the veggies though. Either sound good to you?” Tara smiled as she explained.
“What is Pasta Pomodoro? Would I like it?” Dawn asked.
“Well, it’s pasta, obviously, with fresh basil, garlic, tomatoes, balsamic vinegar; we can even add the chicken to it if you want. C’mon, Dawnie, live dangerously,” She said with a mischievous, lop-sided smile.
It was a smile that had only recently started making its reappearance, made Dawn so happy to see it. She hopped down off the stool, and hugged her friend, then said, “Sounds great, then again most anything you make is great. Do you want some help?”
Tara smiled at Dawn. “Sure sweetie, I picked up Roma tomatoes today, and they’re in the colander in the sink. Quarter them then cut them into decent size chunks. I even got a nice loaf of French bread from the bakery. We can have it as is, or I can make garlic bread. Which do you want?”
With a snicker, Dawn said, “We had garlic bread the other night and Buffy said the vamps wouldn’t come close enough to dust so maybe just plain will be good.”
Tara and Dawn both snickered at the thought of vampires running away from Buffy more than usual. Tara started to hum while she cleaned, and chopped the basil, moving on to the fresh garlic. Dawn stopped to look over her shoulder at her friend for a moment, smiling that Tara’s mood seemed to be getting better all of the time.
Dawn knew now that Tara could get through a whole day without crying, for the most part. She also knew that the nights were worst for Tara. She and Buffy had both heard her crying at night, and it broke their hearts. They just didn’t understand why Willow wouldn’t contact them, or at the very least her. Dawn sighed and turned back to quartering tomatoes for dinner.
When Tara heard the sigh, she didn’t bother to look up; she knew what it was about. Tara didn’t need to read minds to feel the emotions, as they rolled off of Dawn in waves. Dawn always had her heart on her sleeve, and maybe that’s what made Tara feel so protective of her. Tara turned and put a pot on to boil for the pasta. Dawn grabbed the chicken breast, rinsed them off like Tara had shown her, and began cutting them into strips.
Once again the front door opened, and Buffy yelled, “Honey, I’m home!” Just as Tara dropped olive oil, and garlic into the sauté pan, and the aroma started to fill the house.
“Mmm, something smells good,” Buffy said as she walked into the kitchen, and looked over Tara’s shoulder which was hard for her to since Tara had a few inches on her, so she settled on looking around her shoulder.
“What’s for dinner?” Buffy asked.
Looking over her shoulder at Buffy, Tara said brightly, “Dawn’s pick for the evening; Pasta Pomodoro. And now that you’re here – well, first go shower, you reek – then get comfortable, and you can be grill mistress, and grill us some other veggies,” she giggled.
“What did you do today? Anything fun?” Buffy asked. “How was school, Dawnie?”
Tara shrugged, and started to speak, but before she could reply Dawn said, “School is school, but I got a B+ on that biology test.” smiling broadly.
“After class, I went to The Magic Box for a few things, some sage, and whatnot – and to see Anya,” Tara said quietly.
There was a pause as Buffy looked thoughtful. “Geez, I haven’t been to the Magic Box in ages.”
“Well, you know there are t-times when I still need something for an r-ritual or something. Then Anya and I talk for a bit, I think Willow and I…” her voice trailed off.
The look on Tara’s face was one Buffy had seen so many times over the last eighteen months, and it pained her to see it. Giles wouldn’t tell her more than Willow is safe, and sends everyone her love. A fat lot of good that did, Tara had pretty much become a recluse, except for school, the few things she had been able to push her to do, and the occasional trip to The Magic Box. More often now, Tara patrolled with Buffy.
“Okay, give me a few to go shower,” Buffy said, shooting a look at Dawn, indicating Tara with a subtle jerk of her head, that inquired about how she had really been.
Dawn just shrugged, and mouthed “She seems okay.”
“What kind of veggies, do they need to be cleaned or cut?”Asked Buffy.
Dawn piped up, “Yeah Tara, which ones are they?” as she leaned into the fridge.
Buffy left the room and headed up the stairs. When she got to her room, she shut the door and leaned against it wrapping her arms around herself. “Why, Willow, why? Can’t you feel her pain?” Buffy whispered. With that, she grabbed clothes and headed for the bathroom.
Dawn had gone out to light the gas grill, so it would be hot enough by the time Buffy came downstairs. The pot was boiling, and Tara drained half the water out, and replaced it with chicken stock then dropped the angel hair pasta in to cook.
Tara then went back to cutting zucchini, and summer squash, while having Dawn clean portabella mushroom caps, so by the time the slayer got downstairs she was handed a plate of veggies; all she had to do was put them on the grill and leave them.
As Tara sautéed the tomatoes, chicken, garlic, and basil together and waiting to add the balsamic last since that’s the part she thought Dawn would like the least, she used it a bit more sparingly.
“Check the veggies, Buffy” she called.
The three women had developed a routine. After Willow left Tara fell apart, and tried to move out. Neither Dawn, nor Buffy would allow her to; they told her she was family, and family stays together. Sometimes the best families are often the one you make, and not necessarily the one you’re born into. When the time came, and Tara could bear it, Buffy had helped Tara pack up the things Willow had left behind, to be put in the attic.
There were a few things Tara kept that Buffy didn’t know about. Like Willow’s favorite shirt to sleep in, and the sweater Tara had been wearing when Oz wolfed out, a small almost empty bottle of the perfume. Sometimes when she was alone, feeling particularly sad, and missing Willow so much she would go to the boxes in the attic.
Just opening them up, she could smell her Willow, breathing in deeply, and get a small bit of comfort. Sometimes she just cried into the boxes, great sobbing, body wrenching sounds that were as unbearable to hear, as they were to do.
So today was a good day, for the most part, no big meltdowns. Just a few tears shed here and there, all missed by those around her who loved Tara. She turned the chicken, and then added the balsamic, tossing everything together.
“Dawnie, you wanna test the pasta for me?” Tara asked.
Dawn came bouncing in from lighting the grill. “Sure, but I’m sure it’s perfect, it always is. You’re like the momma hen here; you know all the secrets, for all the best things.”
Tara looked at Dawn, reminding herself that she’s not so young anymore. She’s old enough to drive, and since school is almost over, she’ll be a junior next year. Tara nudged her with her hip, as Dawn stood next to her, “You goof,” Tara said affectionately.
Buffy came down and grabbed the plate of veggies to grill, and noticed the dining room table was already set, as she moved outside, thinking Tara must have gotten Dawn to do it.
“Go wash your hands!” Tara yelled while they did that she opened a bottle of white wine, one of her favorites. Santa Margherita’s Pinot Grigio. Not one of the most expensive but not the cheapest either, not that it mattered to her anyway.
Buffy came back with grilled veggies, and Dawn came into the kitchen. “Would it be easier if we just bring our plates?” Dawn asked, “Everything smells so good. How did you learn to cook like this?”
Tara thought for a minute, “Umm, I don’t know really. Here, and there, I like to cook for the people I love; it’s how I spoil them, so maybe that’s why.” She shrugged and smiled, as she looked at the two sisters, causing a group hug that left all three a little teary.
“Food! Must feed the slayer!” Tara said as she broke away from the hug, and grabbed Buffy’s plate, putting some pasta on it, and asked, “More?”
Buffy smiled quirky an eyebrow. “Do you know me? Of course more! I haven’t felt this spoiled, and taken care of since Mom…” Buffy nervously looked at Dawn, who took it all in stride.
“Yup, we’re lucky girls, Buffy,” Dawn replied.
Tara blushed and handed Buffy her plate. “This really does smell amazing, Tara.” Buffy headed to the table, followed by Dawn, and lastly Tara.
“Buffy, would you like a glass?” Tara asked holding the bottle of wine up for her to see.
“Just one, have to patrol later, and after the garlic thing, I don’t want to hear drunk jokes too.” Buffy snarked, Tara smiled and Dawn snickered.
“Can I have some?” Dawn asked. Tara looked at Buffy with a raised eyebrow.
“C’mon Buffy, I’m not a little kid anymore!” Dawn started to whine a bit.
Buffy looked at Tara, and said, “Okay, but only half a glass, the very smallest of half glasses.”
“On one condition,” Tara said, “You have to eat all your veggies first then you can have it. Seem fair, Buffy?”
“Very, you heard her, get to eatin’, missy.” Buffy agreed.
The three enjoyed their meal, talking casually about their day, having no idea everything was going to change, and what they thought they knew was only a small part of the truth. As Dawn was helping Buffy clear the table, Tara had already started doing the dishes, Buffy was drying, and Dawn putting away.
Buffy and Dawn were teasing each other when the doorbell rang, and Dawn skittered out of the kitchen yelling, “Coming!”
They could hear the door open, and Buffy had stopped to listen, “She’s signing for something, and it’s for you, Tara. Did you order something?”
Tara looked puzzled. “Not that I can think of, maybe it’s a book.”
Dawn came back into the kitchen with a FedEx envelope; she held it out saying, “Tara, it’s for you.”
“Go ahead and open it, sweetie, my hands are wet,” Tara said over her shoulder.
Dawn ripped open the seal on the envelope, pulling out the enclosed letter that was printed on the letterhead from The Coven of the Grove, and as her eyes flashed over the letter not quite understanding exactly what she was reading, but saw Willow’s name printed plainly.
“Dawnie, what is it?” Tara asked as she turned around, and saw the girl pale.
“I really think you should read this Tara, it’s important, I think,” Dawn whispered holding out the letter.
Tara wiped one hand off on her jeans and took the letter and started to read:
"Dear Ms. Maclay,
Blessed Be and Merry Meet! I hope this finds you in good spirits. Let me being by introducing myself, I am Lady Rowan Kelly, Priestess of The Coven at The Grove in Tucson, Arizona. I am contacting you on behalf of one of my initiates, Sister Willow Rosenberg."Tara gasped and dropped the plate she held in her hand. “By the goddess… Willow.” She looked up to see the sisters staring back at her. She looked back at the letter and read aloud:
"Miss Rosenberg is unaware of our attempt to contact you. She has been with us for almost year now and her initiation is drawing near; she is safe and well, but not whole. I am hoping that you might be amenable to perhaps making a trip here at our expense to see her. Again, she is unaware of our contact, and that was my decision, should you choose not to see her.
If you would contact me here at The Grove, I would be most pleased to make arrangements for your visit. You needn’t stay on the grounds; we do have several lovely guesthouses where we could accommodate you if you like.
I also imagine this is a great shock to you, Sister. The time has come where the only thing we can now give Willow, would be for her to see you whatever its outcome. She has gone through so much, as we are told so have you, because of this separation. If we can give this gift to Willow, and to you, then the goddess will be pleased.
By all means, take some time to think this over; we will only alert Sister Willow should you decide to come. This will be the only request we send you, so if there is no reply, then we will understand.
In two weeks the majority of the members of the coven will be taking a sabbatical for six weeks, leaving maybe a dozen of us here. I don’t know if that knowledge would make you any more comfortable or not. If in two weeks time we have not received word from you, we will assume you do not wish to see her.
We hope to hear from you Sister.
Blessed Be,
Lady Rowan Kelly"Tara looked up at Buffy and Dawn, her mouth opening, but no sound coming out before she promptly fainted. Buffy rushed to catch her before she hit the floor. Dawn picked up the letter while Buffy carried her to the couch, and got a glass of water.
Dawn asked quietly, “What do you think it means, Buffy?”
Buffy began to pace as she said, “It seems to me one of two things, either it’s the first time she has been allowed to contact her, or the first time she is strong enough to see her – I’m not sure which. Damn, Giles! Why wouldn’t he just tell us! She’s in Arizona for god’s sake – we could be there in less than a day! Look at what Tara has had to suffer through!”
At that moment Tara started to come around. “Stop yelling, please Buffy,” Tara said as she moved to sit up, and Dawn helped her, and then sat down next to her wrapping both arms around one of hers.
“I’m okay, Dawnie, really,” Tara said unconvincingly.
“You don’t look okay,” Dawn said before she put her head on Tara’s shoulder. Buffy sat in front of Tara on the coffee table and put her hand on Tara’s knees.
Buffy looked into her eyes, trying to read Tara. “What do you want to do, Tara? Whatever you want, that’s what we’ll do.”
Tara’s eyes moved back and forth, as she was trying to think. “I-I’m not sure, I-I d-don’t know, I-I’m s-scared,” her stutter hadn’t been this bad for a long time now, and her eyes filled with tears. Buffy pulled her into a hug and held her friend while she cried as if it were the night Willow left.
TBC...
Chapter Three
Pairing: W/T
Rating: NC-17 for explicit sexual content and language – folks obviously this is gonna be girl on girl so continue to read at your own risk, you have been forewarned.
Angst/Drama Rating: I'd say on a scale of 1-10 this is about a 4.
Setting: Sunnydale
Disclaimer: I in no way, shape or form own the characters from BTVS, they’re owned by Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. All original characters are in no way connected to them except by me in this forum. No money is involved this is simply for my own pleasure.
Email:
riverwillows@me.comFeedback: Sure, but if you wanna rip me a new one do it by pm, please.
Author’s Notes: Flashback is in italics.The next morning Tara skipped classes and went to the attic after Buffy and Dawn had left. She sat on the floor as she opened one of the boxes containing Willow’s belongings. Her scent rushed up to greet her, and immediately tears started to slide down Tara’s face. She dug around to find the awful fuzzy pink sweater Willow always wore and put it to her nose. Even after all this time her perfume still lingered on it.
It brought with it the memory of the last time Willow had worn it. Less than twenty-four hours before everything happened in her life changing so dramatically.
They had met after classes, and walked home together holding hands. The house was empty; Dawn wouldn’t be home for a few more hours, and Buffy would be arriving later still. When they came into the house, Tara headed to the kitchen, followed by Willow, pulled a coke out of the fridge, and then turned to ask Willow if she wanted anything.
Willow smirked, and responded, “There is something I want, but it’s not a drink.”
The innuendo wasn’t lost on Tara, and it made her blush. “Really? Are you hungry? I can make us something to…” she said innocently.
Willow took the can out of her hand and pressed her body into Tara and began kissing her neck just under her ear making her moan.
“I have what I want right here,” Willow said as she slipped her arms around Tara, moving her hands under Tara’s shirt running her hands up and down her back.
“That feels good,” Tara breathed as Willow sucked on her ear; her own hands began to wander up under the pink sweater. Her hands brushing the sides of Willow’s breast making her sigh.
“You know, this really is an awful sweater,” Tara said as she pulled Willow into a kiss that made them both a little light headed.
“Let’s go upstairs, my Tara,” Willow suggested.
Tara kissed Willow hard and reached up to touch her breasts finding the nipples already hard. They went quickly upstairs to their bedroom and shut the door. Tara turned pinning Willow to the door; and slide her thigh between Willows legs pressing against her already hot sex, making her squirm.
“Lift, now,” Tara said, pulling the sweater up over Willow’s head.
Willow loved it when Tara took control of their lovemaking; she ran her fingers through the long, thick blonde hair, using it to pulling her closer. In one deft movement of her hand, Tara had Willow’s bra off, leaving it to slide to the floor.
Tara leaned back to look at Willow’s naked breasts. Her peaches and cream skin with smatterings of freckles over her shoulders; the pink aureoles and the pebble like nipples standing so hard. She dipped her head to Willow’s right breast licking in short strokes. She began to suck hard, scraping her teeth across the sensitive skin. Tugging on the other nipple, and increasing the pressure on both making Willow moan.
Willow started blindly unbuttoning Tara’s shirt. “No fair,” she breathed into Tara’s hair. When she got the shirt open she sighed as she looked at Tara’s full breasts in her lacy purple bra taking in the sight with a wolfish stare.
Tara had pulled back so she could shrug out of the shirt, and looked at the expression on Willow’s face giggling, “You are such a breast girl.”
Willow smiled wickedly looking at her lover. “Only yours, baby.”
Grabbing for the button on Tara’s jeans, as Tara reached around Willow for the zipper on her skirt. They stepped out of the rest of their clothes. Willow tried to pull Tara close, but she sat on the edge of the bed and held Willow at arm’s length.
“Wait, sweetie, I want to look at you. I love looking at you, your beautiful skin, your beautiful breasts and…” as she looked at the deep red curls between Willow’s thighs, giving her that lusty smile that was only for Willow.
She stood with her hands at her sides shyly, fighting the urge to cover herself. Tara took Willow’s hand, drawing her closer, so Willow was standing between her knees. Tracing the tips of her fingers over Willow’s collar bone, slowly down over her breasts, teasing a line down her stomach to the dark red curls between her thighs making Willow shiver.
Tara wrapped her arms around Willow’s waist, placing her cheek on Willow’s flat stomach.
“Willow, my love, you are my sun and moon, you hang the stars in my sky, my beloved,” Tara said reverently as she looked up into Willow’s face to see her eyes shining with devotion and tears.
“Tara, you are my everything, you are the air that I breathe,” Willow whispered as she ran her fingers through Tara’s hair. “Don’t you ever doubt for one second that I love you; you are my soulmate, you have my heart. You hold my entire being in your hands, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Tara pulled her back onto the bed, rolling her over while she placed herself above Willow insinuating herself between Willow’s legs; their hips pressed tightly together. Both could feel the heat and moisture radiating from the other.
Tara ground her hips hard against Willow, while she nibbled on Willow’s neck, sucking her way down to Willow’s shoulder and bit her hard. Willow dug her short neat nails into Tara’s back making her growl against Willow’s neck.
“Please, Tara, please…” Willow breathed.
“Tell me, Willow, how can I please you?” Tara whispered into Willow’s ear, as she sucked on the lobe and nibbled the sensitive skin below. “I don’t know if you won’t tell me,” she teased.
“Your mouth, your hands, I want all of you, I always want all of you,” Willow whimpered.
“As you wish, sweet love,” Tara purred.
She slowly worked her way from Willow’s breast, down her stomach licking lazy patterns and nipping at the skin as her fingers drew patterns over Willow’s hips and sides; she could already smell Willow’s arousal and it spurred her on. That warm, earthy, womanly smell that meant Willow was ready sent shivers through Tara’s body every time.
Tara edged down the bed kissing the warm skin above the damp red curls, her breath making Willow shiver in anticipation. She kissed the curls, sucking gently on the wet skin; letting her tongue make short stabbing motions between the lips of Willow’s sex.
Willow raised her hips to meet Tara’s eager mouth and the slow lazy circles being drawn around her clit. Tara could feel how wet Willow was against her chin, reaching up with one hand to tweak and torment Willow’s nipples.
She ran her tongue slowly down the lips of Willow’s sex lapping at her juices, loving the way Willow tasted. She slipped two fingers inside, making Willow moan, as she slowly moved in and out.
“More, baby, please,” Willow begged.
Tara added a third finger, and Willow bucked against her hand, the walls of her sex contracting tightly against Tara’s fingers. She never stopped the circles around Willow’s clit as she had sped up to match the motion of her hands.
“Oh, god yes, please, Tara, don’t stop, don’t ever stop,” Willow moaned loudly. Tara picked up the pace again, as Willows body was bowing against the bed, every muscle tensing. Her breath was coming in short gasps as she managed to moan, “Oh fuck, Tara, it’s so good, baby, oh sweet Christ on a crutch, Oh god, Tara, fuck! Fuck! I’m gonna cum, oh fuck, I’m gonna…”
Tara kept her movement steady, driving Willow closer and closer to her peak.
“Oh, god, yes!” Willow screamed as she exploded into orgasm.
Tara kept moving not letting the pace up since she could feel another orgasm building from deep inside as Willow’s hot sex contracted around her fingers like a being wrapped in a hot, wet, tight velvet glove.
“No more, baby, please no more,” Willow gasped, her breath ragged, as she urged Tara to move up next to her, kissing Tara hard tasting herself all over Tara’s mouth, making her moan. Willow lay there trying to catch her breath while Tara stroked her heated skin.
“Baby, how do you do that every time?” Willow panted, and then she got serious. “I never knew sex could be like this, Tara. With a look you make me wet, I can’t get enough of you, baby. Your soul, your mind, your beautiful body.”
She placed Tara’s hand over her heart. “Do you feel that?” Willow asked as Tara felt her rapidly beating heart. “It beats for you, only you.”
Tara smiled down into Willow’s face, pushing stray strands of sweaty red hair behind her ear and rubbed her nose against her little redhead’s. Now that Willow had caught her breath, she rolled over onto Tara.
“Now, it’s my turn,” she said with a mischievous smile.
Willow kissed Tara possessively, as she ran her tongue around Tara’s lips, she could taste herself still there exciting Willow even more, if that was possible. She kissed Tara’s neck, nibbled at her ear, trailing kisses back to Tara’s mouth nipping at her full, sensuous lips.
Willow’s hands seemed to be everywhere all at once. Willow truly being a breast girl, had locked on to one of Tara’s nipples, moaning while she massaged both of Tara’s breasts, being sure to pay each equal attention to them both as if she would devour Tara starting from there. Her hands moved to under Tara’s ass and kneaded the skin there, Tara sighed in contentment.
Willow was leaving wet swirly trails, and sucking on the skin as she worked down Tara smooth stomach until she was just below her belly button; nipping at the tender flesh. She had already left several marks around Tara’s breasts and collarbone as Tara's fingers played in her soft hair.
Even if no one else could see the marks, they both knew they were there; Willow had marked her territory – making Tara her prize. Tara’s fingers started to wrap tightly in Willow’s soft, fine hair pushing her lower.
“Would you like me to keep going?” Willow raised her head to ask, looking into the blue eyes that were almost violet now with lust.
“Vixen,” Tara purred.
“I always follow through, though, my little minx.” With that, Willow slid two fingers deep inside Tara, sighing with pleasure at the heat and wetness that met her fingers. “You’re so wet, baby, you feel so good,” Willow cooed.
“Mmm,” Was the only sound Tara could make.
Willow could feel the little rough, spongy patch inside and to the upper left, and began to make circles over it. Willow knew this drove Tara wild.
“Baby, please, oh…Willowtongue, please.” Tara begged.
“As you wish, my beloved.”
Willow dipped her head to the curls darkened by arousal and was in heaven. Willow swore that Tara was made of honey; she was so sweet and Willow thought it was impossible for another human to taste this good. She matched the speed of her fingers to that of her tongue while Tara moaned.
Willow sucked on Tara’s already swollen clit, making Tara pull harder on her hair. She could tell by the way Tara was moving against her mouth, and how hot she was that her orgasm was getting close. Tara’s body was so tense she was shaking. Without further hesitation, she moved faster lapping happily at Tara’s juices and flicking her clit.
“Oh, Willow, by the Goddess, please baby, mmm,” Tara moaned as she bit her lip moving her hips to the rhythm Willow’s hand set.
It didn’t take long until Willow heard, “Baby, now, oh god, oh yes, oh yes, Ohhhhhh!” and with one last shudder Tara came. Her body moving against Willow's mouth as she sucked hard, and pushed deeper inside her lover and with the next thrust of Tara’s hips, she came again. Then she stopped moving and lay there twitching.
Willow slowed her movements giving Tara a moment before picking the pace up again. She didn’t think Tara could get any hotter, her hand was wet to the wrist. Tara’s body started tensing all over again.
“Willooow, Oh… mmm… Oh, Gods, YES!” Tara screamed as she bucked and shudder against Willow’s mouth.
Feeling Tara shudder against her fingers and mouth slowly Willow slowed to a stop and raised her head, gently kissing the insides of her lover’s thigh as she lay there trembling like a leaf in the wind.
It was Tara’s turn to reach out, her hands pulling Willow up keeping her on top of her while she shook. Willow looked down at her soulmate to see tears even though her eyes were closed.
“Baby, did I hurt you? Are you ok? Tara, what is it?” Willow asked scared she that had somehow been too rough and managed to hurt her.
Tara smiled a dreamy smile and opened her blue eyes. “They’re good tears my Willowtree, very good actually,” softly she added, “You’re the only person that’s ever made me cry.” She wrapped her arms around Willow tightly and rolled them over onto their sides.
The whole room smelled like sex, and they both dozed off with their bodies entwined, Willows head resting over Tara’s heart, Tara’s hand over Willow’s.Tara shook her head to clear the memory away, wiping away tears that came with it. Her body responded to the memory, and there was more than a mere fluttering in her stomach. She sat there looking at the sweater in her hands, and in that moment she knew. There was no other decision she could make.
She closed the box up, went back down into her room, laying the sweater on the bed. She went into the bathroom and splashed some water on her face. When she looked into the mirror, she studied the reflection in front of her.
“You know you have to go, you have to see her no matter what happens,” Tara said aloud to herself. She wiped her face off on a towel, walking back through her bedroom she picked up the sweater and then went downstairs, picking up the phone.
TBC...