The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 1/30/11)
PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 1:36 pm 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Well damn... Willow stepped in it this time. I really Really hate Shelia.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/12/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 12:37 am 
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3. Flaming O
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just let me say... wow. this is truely a great story. you have done an amazing job portraying all the varied aspects of abuse and the self destructive behaviors that, sadly, go hand in hand with it. i will admit it is not an easy read, seeing willow and tara enduring such horrors (some of which i, too, am familiar with) is hard on the heart. we always tend to aim for purity and happiness for our two favorite ladies, so as rough as it is, it's refreshing to see that you're willing to go agaianst convention and offer a story with depth and resonance. at times i almost stopped reading, (did i mention it was hard on the heart? how on earth did you make it through writing this?!?) but, i just couldn't turn away. there is such a great feeling of strength, and sincerity in the story that i couldn't stand NOT finishing it.
thank you for sharing such a wonderfully profound piece, i'm looking forward to seeing how it developes and the happy ending i'm sure you will grace them with.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/12/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 12:02 pm 
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8. Vixen

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 6:33 pm
Posts: 732
Topics: 2
Location: North Carolina, USA
Indigokane: I am glad that you like the story. I promise that there will be a happy ending. isn't that a rule on the kittenboard? :smug

SMGOVAN: You are supposed to hate Sheila. She is definitely one of the villians of my story.

Finey_McFine: Be prepared for a continued ride...

zampsa19752001: I always live for your feedback. Ipromisethere will be snuggles soon.

Title: Meeting Expectations

Author: TaranWillow4Ever

Rating: PG for now

Disclaimer: Josh owns all of the characters, I just imagine other lives for them.

Spoilers: None

Feedback: Please, I am playing with POV, sorry to those who don't like inconsistency.


Note: This story contains elements of abuse - physical and emotional, that are either eluded to if not outright described. If anything of this sort bothers you, then please do not read this story


Part 63

“So what are we going to do now?” Tara asked Joyce. Willow had fallen asleep and they went down to the hospital cafeteria.

“Well. She can’t go back to school until she is cleared medically and psychologically

“She is going to really like that”, commented Tara.

“Fortunately Ira and Sheila have sent me a medical proxy, so I can make the medical decisions until one of them gets here.”

“One of her parents is coming?” said Tara paled.”They can’t see me. Her mother will go ballistic. I am a she devil in their eyes. You’ve got to tell me when they get here so I can make myself scarce. By the way,How is the emancipation stuff going?”

“Willow didn’t tell you?”

“Um, no…”

“I think that is what put her over the edge. The judge refused to hear the case. “

“Oh… Why?”

“Something about the history of hospitalization precluding it…”

“So what is going to happen? They going to come back to the US and take care of her?”

“I guess. I haven’t told them yet that she can’t go back to school. I don’t think they’ll be too happy about it. They were so excited about her graduating from college before she turned 18.”

“She still might. She said she had already gotten most of her credits. She was talking about starting grad school a year from now, so missing a semester will only set her back a bit, and she won’t turn 18 until the middle of the fall semester.”

“That is not the most important thing…I could care less about her schooling. I just want her to get better.”

“Me too. She’s going to have to go to rehab again, isn’t she?”

“I am pretty sure that rehab will be the recommendation. I heard there is a good program in Arizona that is supposed to be good for both trauma and eating disorders. That is where they were going to send her last time, but instead they sent her to The Maples.”

“Well, I can’t say that I am disappointed. Meeting Willow was the best thing that happened to me.”

“I think you are one of the best things that happened to her too.”

“Thanks. I can’t believe we came so close to losing her?”

“So what are you going to do about your job Tara?”

“I don’t know. I am pretty sure I blew it by just taking off to come here. I’ve been calling every day, but I can tell that soon they are going to just tell me not to bother. It is ok. It was a job, but I still have my other job. I’ve been working there so long, they told me to take all the time I needed.”

“I was looking at the want ads in Palo Alto…”

“Are you thinking about getting another job?”, asked Tara.

“No, actually I was thinking about changing offices. My company has an office there.”

“I guess when Willow comes back from rehab it will be good to have you nearer.”

“That is what I was thinking. Tara, there are some day care jobs around where I want to live. If your rent was cheap enough, I bet you could afford to live there.”

Tara looked at Joyce quizzically.

“I was looking at a really cute house and it has a “mother in law apartment’”

“So were you thinking of having Willow live in it?”

“No, actually I was thinking about having you live in it.”

Tara looked at the woman incredulously; her mouth hung open. “Y…y…you’d do that for me?”

“I knew you were a great girl…I mean woman…but when I saw how your presence perked up Willow…before you came I was REALLY afraid that we were going to lose her. I saw her will to live change exponentially when she saw you. I think you are key to her recovery. I think if we both were around, we’d be able to support her. Are you interested?”

“Interested? YES…definitely, I am so tired of being so far away from her. I know you think we are both too young to make life plans…but I really am sure that she is my soulmate.”

“I believe you…you two already have gone through more adversity than the average adult…I think it made both of you older than your years. When I think about all I missed…”

“Hindsight is 20/20. We just need to go forward as my therapist says…”

“Will it be hard to leave her?”

“Who?”

“Your therapist.”

“Kind of, but I am sure that I can learn from someone else.”

Joyce’s pager beeped. She looked down at it. “Shit, it is Sheila. She must be here. Um Tara…”

“I know I have to make myself scarce.”

“I hate it…but knowing Sheila…”

“I can fill in the blanks. I will just hang here and you can come get me when she leaves.”

***

Joyce met Sheila outside of the door to Willow’s room. “Well, thank you for watching out for Willow until I came here, but you must need to get back to work. I have it from here.”

“It’s no problem, I will stay as long as you, or she needs you.”

“I think you have done plenty.” Sheila’s tone was accusatory.

“Sheila…I tried to keep tabs on her…she told me everything was going well.”

“Well, a mother would have known. I should have called more often, but I was so busy…”

“That has always been your excuse.” Joyce said subvocally?

“Excuse me,” said a shocked Sheila.

“Nothing.”

“I heard what you said, and what your tone said. Well, you don’t have to worry. I am taking a semester off. Ira got a visiting professorship offer at Boston College. We will be transferring Willow to Boston General within the next day or two. She won’t be your problem anymore.”

“She was never a problem.”

“Well…anyway. It was nice seeing you. I will tell Willow you said ‘goodbye’ when she wakes up. Please don’t visit anymore. I will be telling the nurses that only doctors and I can be in her room.”, Joyce knew she was being dismissed.

**

Tara could tell that something had not gone well from the look on Joyce’s face and the fact that it had only been about ten minutes.

“What is wrong?”

“Tara…”

“Yes?”said Tara feeling a sense of foreboding.

“She’s taking her to Boston.”

“What?” Tara could feel the tears well up. The anger coming off Joyce was palpable.

“She’s taken a sabbatical…Ira’s teaching there. She’s transferring Willow in the next day or two. I knew Sheila had control issues, but she has forbid visitors as well. I was dismissed.”

“So I can’t even say goodbye?” the tears began.

“I am sure she will be back as soon as she turns 18 and we will be here waiting for her.”

“We? You still are thinking of moving, and want me to live in the apartment?”

“Yes. I already put in for the transfer, and I made the offer, I don’t make offers lightly. We will be here waiting for her.”

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/13/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 12:27 pm 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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dibs...Shelia is dispicable... You do a great job writing her. Because I really want to fucking hurt her.. Poor Willow.How will she be able to last mths living under the control of that monster.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/13/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 12:53 pm 
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9. Gay Now
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Yay for great update-y goodness... I hope Tara finds a way to communicate with Willow and mitigate some of the damage Sheila's "motherhood" is going to cause... I'm glad that Joyce asked Tara to move in with her so they can wait for Willow together...

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/13/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:07 pm 
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3. Flaming O

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Great story...Can't wait to see where you take it, ready for the next update!!! Thanks for writing!!! :pinky


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/13/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:19 pm 
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20. Not one Much for the Timber
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Sheila is a completely despicable excuse of a human being. No, that's too good, let me re-phrase that...she's a monster.


Per SMGOVAN...
Quote:
You do a great job writing her. Because I really want to fucking hurt her..
DITTO!

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"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/13/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 3:24 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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Grr
Shelia is a bitch. :smash I wanna hurt her real bad :smash :smash

Also, yay for Joyce letting Tara live in that appartement :pride

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/13/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 6:42 pm 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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I'm going to go with shit, shit, shit, shit. Willow has fucked up royally this time. She had a pretty good situation going, living with Joyce and going to school and in love with Tara and now she's looking at being back under Sheila's hateful and sick control again. I mean, understand, I'm not trying to blame her. I understand that she's sick and scared and she needs help badly. But Sheila is so terrible and now Willow won't even be able to talk to Tara or continue in school plus it sounds like she's got permanent heart damage. Shit.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/13/11)
PostPosted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 6:21 am 
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1. Blessed Wannabe

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oh no, god willow crapped it up. im loving this story.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/13/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 2:40 pm 
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8. Vixen

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Jenga: I am glad you are liking it. How much shit she stepped in will become evident over the course of the next few parts

JustSkipIt: Sheila wasn't able to do too much damage to Willow's psyche, but her ability to trust..not to great.

Drah4me: I wish someone would hurt Sheila. But most likely she will continue in her delsusions of good motherhood.

Finey_McFine: I wish that I could say that I have not met parents like Sheila in my work, but she is literally made out of a composite of all the self-centered parents I have encountered.

TM/WR: Hope you like where I am going.


zampsa19752001 Unfortunately Willow had to survive on her own.

SMGOVAN We will find out how she survived.

Part 63

Willow hadn’t thought that it was possible for the time to go any slower, but it was finally the morning of her birthday. Her parents had attempted to get guardianship over her, but Willow in a very articulate way was able to convince the judge that she was competent and that she had a clear plan to take care of herself. She had agreed to sign herself into the program for another month, and her parents had gone to Australia confident that Willow was safely hospitalized.

After breakfast, Willow requested to use one of her campus passes for a short walk before she was to get on the computer to work on her on-line class. Instead, she briskly walked to the main office to her psychiatrist’s office. She knocked on the door and when he indicated to come in, she went in.

“Willow, this isn’t your time, what can I do for you?” said the Freud looking psychiatrist.

“I would like to file my 72 hour paperwork.”

“So should I guess that today is your birthday Willow?”

“Yes sir.”

“Happy Birthday, I still don’t agree with your decision, and I will put a recommendation of continued treatment in the petition, but it will be a weak one. I wish you good luck.”

“Thank you. It has been great working with you. And by the way, here is a formal statement relinquishing my parent’s rights to any information about my treatment, or anything what so ever.” She passed over a notarized letter.”

“Notarized?”

“It pays to be nice to everyone.” Willow laughed.”I am serious, if they find out that I have left from the hospital, I will sue.”

“That would not surprise me.”

Willow left the room, feeling happier than she had since she left California.

Willow had been preparing for this court date for a long time, as soon as she learned the proper method to challenge a commitment. They should have been watching me do my school work a bit more carefully, who knows what I was looking at?”

She was sitting in the court lounge. There were a lot of other patients who were challenging their commitment. She sat quietly, thinking that she never really belonged at McLean, but it was far better than being with her parents. They called her name.

“The lawyer who had met with her every three months when her regular commitment was reviewed was in the room as was another serious looking woman who she assumed was the other lawyer.

The judge looked at the paper that the bailiff handed to him. “It says here Ms. Rosenberg that you are requesting to be discharged.”

Willow stood up, “Yes, your honor.”

“Dr. Snyder says that he thinks you could benefit from continued treatment, why do you think that I should release you?”

“I’ve made the highest level for the last twelve weeks; I have not had any level drops. I contribute regularly to the groups, and I participated in individual therapy.”

“Where will you go? I am against discharging people to the streets of Boston.”

“I will be returning to California, you honor. The aunt that I lived with has said that I am welcome at anytime, and she has provided me with enough money to buy a plane ticket.”

“How did that happen, you are not allowed to have large amounts of money?”

“I have a prepaid MasterCard that my Social Worker has been holding for me. I must admit that I may have understated the amount on the card.”

“How will you get to the airport?”

“Again, I have been saving money and will request it upon my discharge. It should be sufficient to get a taxi to the T (subway system in the Boston area).

“It sounds like you have thought this out in detail.”

“Yes sir, I am, if nothing else, thorough.”

“Well, those skills are useful? What do you plan to do in California?”

“Graduate from Stanford, and continue my studies in physical chemistry to a Ph.D.”

“Wow, that is a plan? DO you realize how many years of school you are talking about?”

“Yes sir, I am 2 credits from by BS, and have been assured that there will always be a place for me in the Chemistry and Physics programs.”

“Your BS?”

“Yes sir, I started college as a junior when I was 16.”

The judge looked at the doctor and the lawyer, “Did we know we had a phenom in our midst?”

“Yes sir.”

“I am impressed. I am impressed in general Ms. Rosenberg, I grant your petition of release.”

Willow smiled, and practically floated out of the court room.

Everything went according to plan. When her social worker came to her room with the card some cash, and a letter that she said she’d been holding on to until Willow’s discharge.

“What is this?” asked Willow pointing at the envelope.

“This came for you a few weeks ago. The sender wasn’t on your phone list, so I could not give it to you. But I figured when it was a California postscript, that you’d want it.
“Thanks. Thanks for everything.” Willow gave the woman a hug, and went to wait for the cab.


The cash that the social worker gave her was adequate to pay for a cab ride all the way to Logan. When she got there, she tipped the cabbie, and went into the terminal. While she was riding, she opened the card, and was glad she did, because she discovered that she had been relocated and was now living in Palo Alto. Willow looked at the address and realized that it was not too far from her “friend’s apartment complex. small world eh?

Willow looked at the departures and saw that there was a plane leaving in a few hours. She noted the air carrier, and walked over to the counter and requested a one-way ticket. The person at the counter looked at her strangely, but sold her a ticket nonetheless. After getting through security, she bought some lunch and waited until the plane boarded. She was glad that she was able to get a window seat, so she stowed her belongings, requested a pillow and blanket from the attendant, and went to sleep.


She dozed on and off during the entire flight, but felt rather refreshed when they arrived at the airport. She grabbed her bags, exited the terminal and walked out into the cloudy, but warm air. Winter had come early to New England, so it had already snowed in Belmont. Willow was glad that she was going to live somewhere that did not have too much cold weather. Willow looked for the directions kiosk and found where the bus schedules were located. She looked through a few until she found the one to Palo Alto. She followed the directions to get to the bus station, and then sat in the waiting room until the bus came. She knew that she could have called Aunt Joyce and she would have come to get her. But after Aunt Joyce alluded to a surprise for her, Willow wanted to provide a surprise for Joyce as well.

It was almost dark when Willow got to the Palo Alto bus station. Fortunately there was a cab waiting at the curb, so Willow gave him Joyce’s address and relaxed into the knowledge that she was coming home I hope she is there, I’d hate to be found camping on her back porch.

There were lights on at Joyce’s house, so Willow figured that she would not be camping out. When the cab left, Willow got a brief wave of fear, but she knew that no matter what happened, Joyce would help her. She walked up to the door and rang the bell.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/20/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 4:24 pm 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Dibs... You gotta love that brain of Willow's... I pray her surprise has blonde hair and blue eyes :pray .


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/20/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 4:38 pm 
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I saw this update right before I was heading out to the world of Girl Scout cookies and I'm so relieved...she survived the treatment! I can no go sell Girl Scout cookies knowing all is well with Willow, for the time being at least.

I do love the way her mind works. I seriously wish I was that organized and on top of things, lol.

Here's to hoping that Tara hasn't moved on and is there waiting for her. BTW...whose apartment is Willow talking about??? Someone besides Tara? Grrr...I certainly hope not!!!

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Shelby - Racing The Rain (IN PROGRESS) / Baby Makes Three (IN PROGRESS) / The Santa Line / Everything She Does...Is Beautiful / Calfornia Grass

"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/20/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 4:50 pm 
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HOORAY for willow getting her act together!!!! and surprises all around!!! it's going to be so hard waiting for an update. patience, patience, patience.
:impatient (i'm trying, i swear!)

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/20/11)
PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 5:41 am 
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Yay for great update-y goodness... I'm glad that Willow somewhat survived the hell of Sheila's "parenthood"... I truly hope that Willow will be pleasantly surprised when the door is opened by a certain blonde goddess...

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/20/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 5:41 am 
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8. Vixen

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SMGOVAN: You will see what the surprise is now.

Finey_McFine: Hope you survived the Girl Scout Cookie ordeal. I have always loved the Adams Family Movie quote from the little girl “Did you know that there are no girl scouts in the girl scout cookies?”

Indigokane: I hope you don’t feel you had to wait too long. Sundays seem to be my preferred update days.

Zampsa19752001: She survived, but not without more wounds.

Title: Meeting Expectations
Author: TaranWillow4Ever
Rating: PG-R for now
Disclaimer: Josh owns all of the characters: I just imagine other lives for them.
Spoilers: None
Feedback: Please
Thoughts in italics.

Note: This story contains elements of abuse - physical and emotional, that are either eluded to if not outright described. If anything of this sort bothers you, then please do not read this story

Feedback: Please, I am playing with POV, sorry to those who don't like inconsistency.

Thoughts in italics.

This is a short interlude to keep my Tara's POV:Willow's POV pattern. A longer Willow's POV will be coming soon (hopefully later today)

Part 64

It had been quite a day at work. Tara had been working in the toddler room with one of her least favorite coworkers. Her usual co-teacher was attending a teacher training and this woman was the floater, so she was assigned to “help” Tara. Alice, her usual co-teacher and Tara had developed a routine that went flawlessly, but this woman’s laziness was monumental, so Tara found herself having to do much of the work, and it was amazing that any time a child had to be changed, the co-worker was ‘busy’ or absent. One of Tara’s favorite toddlers, a smart child named Gavi, had been in a particularly devilish mood most of the day and Tara had found him about to bite several of his classmates several times. The toddler’s big blue eyes would stare in what appeared to be understanding of Tara’s admonitions that “biting hurts” but within a few more minutes, he’d be looking for the next juicy victim. Tara hated to have to explain why Little Susie or Jeremy had a big bruise on their arm, so she tried to keep this toddler as close as possible. As Tara walked out of the center and to the bus stop, Tara looked down at her hands, they were chapped from all of the requisite washing. She often thought of Willow when she examined her hands, the beautiful redhead had often praised her beautiful soft hands glad she is not around to see them now..

Tara dragged her exhausted body onto the bus and waited to go home.
Home, that was something that Tara had not felt to be an appropriate moniker for the myriad of places that she had lived after her mother died. Joyce’s house felt like home. Tara continued to be extremely appreciative for Joyce’s offer of a place to stay, and had found that living with/beside Willow’s aunt was a pleasure. Joyce often invited Tara to dinner, and always refused to allow Tara to reimburse her or even buy groceries. Tara had heard on multiple occasions, “I am cooking anyway, and it is so nice to have someone to share with.” Tonight, Tara was tempted to just put peanut butter on a tortilla and fall into bed. She didn’t even feel like she had the energy to take a shower, but she knew that it was a good idea to get at least one good meal a day, and lunch had been a packet of peanut butter crackers and a pouch of juice.

The sun was setting as she walked from the bus stop to Joyce’s house. As Tara was walking up the driveway toward her apartment, Joyce opened the window and told her that dinner would not be ready for a little while, and suggested that she go up and take a shower. Tara nodded and walked up the stairs to her apartment. She knew if she sat down on the couch, or did anything other than go to the bedroom, she’d never make it downstairs again. So, she threw her bag on the chair near the entrance pushed off her shoes and went into the bathroom. She peeled off her clothes and stepped into the warm spray. She felt the water washing away the stress of the day and she stayed in the shower for longer than usual. She wrapped herself in a big towel that Joyce had given her as a house warming gift and went to find some comfortable clothes to wear down to Joyce’s house. Thank the goddess that Joyce really could care less what I wear thought Tara as she put on a well worn tee-shirt and sweatpants. She slipped on her sandals that she kept by the door for the short trips from one house to another and went down the steps and entered her landlord’s house.

Tara wasn’t even thinking when she walked into the kitchen. “Hey Joyce, dinner smells great is there anything I can do?” She moved effortlessly to the counter where she often helped Joyce cut the salad vegetables, and then looked over at Joyce. There was something different about the look on Joyce’s face and Tara was about to ask if she was alright, when she heard someone exiting the bathroom.

Tara looked down at her very casual clothes and then at the table. It was set for three people.

“Joyce, is there someone else coming for dinner. I wish you would have told me, I would have dressed a little more formally.”

“I don’t think the other person would care what you are wearing”

Tara looked at Joyce with a quizzical look. The woman had what could easily be described as a “cat who just ate the canary look on her face”. Tara didn’t have time to think about this too long, because she was shocked back to the present by a familiar voice saying, “Tara?”

Tara looked at the redhead standing in the doorway. It can’t be…Joyce would have told me if Willow had called her. We just were talking about how Willow’s birthday had passed and figured that somehow the Rosenbergs had been able to keep their tentacles in Willow…but it looks like her…it sounds like her.

“I told you I had a surprise for you, sweetie,” said Joyce coming up beside Willow. “Tara is the tenant that I told you about.”

Willow slumped to the floor. Tara felt the same urge over take her, but instead of falling to the floor, Tara propped herself on the counter. What should I do? Should I go over there, give her a hug? Maybe she fell down ‘cause she’s sick? or maybe she’s upset to see me. The fears echoed through her head. Joyce rushed over to Willow and asked her if she was ok. Tara saw the girl wave her aunt off and she stood up. Before Tara could process what was happening, she found her arms full of the redhead and the girl was hugging Tara tighter than she ever had. “ I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it.” was all that the girl kept saying. Tara’s fears that the girl no longer cared for her were quickly dismissed when she found the girl’s soft lips joining her own. Tara lost track of all time, and got lost in the embrace of her girlfriend until she heard a loud clearing of a throat. Tara realized where she was and what she was doing, and moved away from the redhead’s face, but didn’t let go of her.

“Sorry Joyce?”

“Nothing to be sorry about? Just kind of feeling awkward here…and hungry. Are you girls ready for some dinner?”

“They both nodded and walked to the dining room, holding hands.”

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/20/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 6:18 am 
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How awesome. Does tara live over the garage or something? I had thoughtshe would share the house. I can see where a separate setup would be nice.especially since willow is back. I totally know thathand situation with toddlers. If it was any longer I would say joyce cruel but it was only af few minutes and so fun. Great update.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/20/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 6:25 am 
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Yay for great update-y goodness... Big yay for the girls finding out that they can now be together... I truly hope that they now only have to concentrate on healing and not some new problem...

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/20/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:19 pm 
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Thank you, Thank You!! These girls deserve some happiness :bigkiss .


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/20/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 2:29 pm 
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JustSkipIt: Yup, Tara lives over the garage. I figured it was a good way for Joyce not to have to witness their “nookie” when it eventually happens. It also provides both girls with some privacy.

Zampsa19752001: Yes, they can concentrate on happiness for a bit. But the problems are not all over…

SMGOVAN: You are welcome. I hope you enjoy the next few chapters.

Title: Meeting Expectations
Author: TaranWillow4Ever
Rating: PG-R for now
Disclaimer: Josh owns all of the characters: I just imagine other lives for them.
Spoilers: None
Feedback: Please
Thoughts in italics.

Note: This story contains elements of abuse - physical and emotional, that are either eluded to if not outright described. If anything of this sort bothers you, then please do not read this story

McLean Hospital is a real hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. I have never been there, nor have I ever met anyone who has been there. Willow’s story of her treatment is based on my experience of residential treatment, and the McLean Hospital website. I figured that Willow’s parents were well off enough, and worried enough about their reputation that they would chose to keep her in this kind of ‘state of the art’ private hospital.

Feedback: Please, I am playing with POV, sorry to those who don't like inconsistency.

Thoughts in italics.

Part 65

Willow could feel her heart in her throat what if Joyce didn’t really mean her offer. What if she didn’t still live here? What if she had someone over for dinner and didn’t want to be interrupted? Fortunately this reverie of fears was interrupted by Willow feeling the door open and being pulled into the embrace of her second favorite person in the world. After a few minutes, Joyce released her, took her bag and led her into the house. Willow looked at the woman and was surprised to see that tears were running down her cheeks.

“Are you ok Aunt Joyce?”

“More than Ok sweetie. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I thought that somehow your parents would keep hold of you and never let you come back.”

“They tried, REALLY hard.” Commented Willow, “but fortunately I had some professionals in my corner and they kept my parents from keeping their hooks in me. By the way, they do not know where I am, and I plan to keep it that way. If I never see my mother again, it will be too soon. No offense, I know she is your friend, but I just can’t cope with her. Maybe I will be able to deal with her when I am older, but right now I can’t. So if she calls, please don’t tell her you’ve seen me.”

Willow realized that she was rambling, so she slowed down and said, “So how have you been? Why did you move here?”

“A job offer, a hope that my favorite niece would come home, a change of pace, you choose the reason you like.”

“Home?” I can’t be so lucky that I still have a home here? She’d move for me? The idea that an adult would make a decision with her ‘in mind’, was something impossible for Willow to fathom. She’d spent her life at the whim of adults, never was she anything other than an afterthought or an object.

“Yes, home. I told you that you would always have a home with me, and I meant it. I know you just got here, and I don’t know if you have any other plans, but you are welcome to stay here any time between one day and one decade, or even longer if you want.”

“Really?” said Willow incredulously.

“Really. So how did you get here? Did they give you my card?”

“My social worker held onto it for me and gave it to me when I left. She had held onto the Mastercard that you gave me awhile ago too. That is how I got here. I promise I’ll pay you back as soon as I get a job…”

“No need sweetheart, that was always your money. Remember I told you that I banked all of the money your parents sent you? That was just a small amount of it. “

Willow wasn’t sure if it was evident, but this information was a relief. She REALLY wanted to go back to school, rather than to work, but she was willing to work if she had to repay this woman. No matter how hard she worked, she’d never be able to repay all of the generosity of her honorary aunt. Willow wasn’t sure if returning to school was an option, but that was something to worry about another day, a day in the near future, but another day in general. Willow felt her stomach rumble.

“When did you eat last?”

“At the airport.”

“Which airport?”

Willow looked at her sheepishly, “um…Boston?”

“And that was how long ago?”

Willow looked at her wristwatch. “Um…I guess about 10 hours ago…give or take a few…”

“Well, why don’t you go watch up. My tenant is going to be coming over soon for dinner. We often eat dinner together, she is a sweet girl.”

“You have a tenant?”

“Yes, there is a ‘mother-in-law’ apartment over the garage, so I thought that I’d have someone help me pay the rent. It is not much, but it is nice to have someone to eat dinner with too. I think you will like her.”

“If you like her, I will like her, I am sure” Willow followed Joyce’s directions to the bathroom and went into it, washed up her face and spent some time looking around the comfy room. Willow could hear her aunt talking to someone, so she steeled herself and walked out of the bathroom. What she saw, couldn’t be true. The girl looked like Tara, could it really be?

“Tara?”

“I told you I had a surprise for you, sweetie,” said Joyce coming up beside Willow. “Tara is the tenant that I told you about.”

Willow slumped to the floor. Immediately Joyce rushed over to Willow “Are you ok?”

Willow waved her aunt off, leapt to her feet and within seconds embraced the one person that she wanted to see more than any other in the world. “I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it.”

Without thinking, Willow brought her lips to the taller girl’s. Wait, what if she doesn’t want this?, she is kissing me back like she does. They continued kissing until Tara pulled away at the loud clearing of her aunt’s throat, but Tara did not let go of Willow’s hand.

“Sorry Joyce?” said the blond haired goddess.

“Nothing to be sorry about? Just kind of feeling awkward here…and hungry. Are you girls ready for some dinner?”

“They both nodded and walked to the dining room, holding hands.”

Willow didn’t want to let go of Tara’s hand, fearing that if she did, she would discover it was a dream, but the table settings were so, that there were not two seats beside each other. Willow sat down at table and looked at the simple pasta with pesto, garlic bread and salad. Food had never looked as good, Willow dug into the pasta bowl with gusto loading up her plate with ample portions of each food. She could see the other two women slyly watching her to see if she was really going to eat, and she showed them that her eyes were slightly bigger than her stomach, but she was going to eat a ‘normal’ person’s portion and was not going to engage in any of the sneaky behaviors of an anorexic.

“I am really trying to work on the eating stuff. While at McLean, they finally got it through this tough head” she knocked on her head, “that depriving myself of food didn’t make me anymore strong, or loveable, or invisible, it just made me sick.”

“Speaking of sick, how has your heart been?” asked Joyce.

“Well, a marathon is out of the question, and I sometimes have to take breaks if I try to walk too far, but as long as I take my meds, and take care of myself...I learned Yoga at McLean.”

“Speaking of McLean's After dinner I would like to hear what you want to tell me about the last 10 months. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I must admit that I have been wondering what happened once your parents disallowed me/us from visiting.”

“I’d be happy to tell you some of it. It is much more than I can tell in one sitting, but I’ll start. I want to know how this whole thing happened.” Willow gesticulated toward Tara, Joyce and the house.

“That is all we can ask. Once we are done with dinner, we can go sit in the living room and talk.”

The women finished up their meal, brought the dishes into the kitchen and then retired to the living room. Willow sat next to Tara. She tried to not get too much in the girl’s space, but she yearned for her touch. Willow could sense some reluctance from Tara, and her mind began catastrophizing, but she countered these worries with the mantra“Radical Acceptance, I will accept the things I cannot change and change the things that I can. .

“I am sort of tired, can I tell you all about my last 10 months tomorrow? It is 11pm in Boston right now, I don’t think my brain is working on full tilt.”

“You can wait for as long as you want. Why don’t we just hang out, maybe watch some TV. If you want to get on CA time, you’d probably better stay up until at least 8-8:30 our time. But we don’t have to talk about anything heavy. “ said Joyce.

“Why don’t you tell me how you two decided to move and live together,” said Willow.

The two women looked at each other, trying to decide who would tell the story. Joyce started.

“Well, it happened the day that your mother charged in and ‘took control’ and ‘dismissed me’.” Joyce used air quotes for the comments. By the way, what did she tell you?”

“Basically that you’d handed me off to her and gone back to work…I may have been weak, but I wasn’t stupid, I knew exactly what she had done and it was confirmed when I heard the nurses talking about the order that no one be allowed in the room except Mrs. Rosenberg and the doctors and that I was going to be transferred in a day or two. Mom would have shit if she knew they were calling her Mrs.” Willow smiled. “I did not correct them.”

Joyce picked up from where she stopped. “Well, I had talked to Tara about moving and this cute house. I’d realized when you lit up when you saw her, that she was key in your recovery, and I wanted to do anything I could to keep you around…”

Willow could sense that the older woman had been truly scared. “I am sorry. I didn’t do it to hurt you,” she looked at Tara, “either of you. It was just after finding out that my petition for emancipation had been denied, I felt hopeless. I know a year isn’t a long time, but it felt like forever. It was like my parents were the sword of Damocles and I just could not stand it. I felt out of control, so I began to control what I knew I could. I guess that the lesson of anorexia needed to really hit home before I could realize that I was powerless over it…”

“I am so glad that you survived the lesson” said Joyce.

“Me too.” Tara took Willow’s hand. “I can’t imagine life without you. I know we’ve ..we’ve…b…b..been apart for most of the last four years…but you’ve always been…”

“In my heart, but not in the part that attacked me.” This pun cracked Willow up. She realized that she was getting punch drunk giddy. She yawned deeply. “I am sorry, but if I don’t go to bed soon, I will fall asleep right here on your couch.”

“That would be ok?” said Joyce, “But I suspect that you will be more comfortable in a bed.” The guest bedroom is all set up. The bathroom even has clean towels in it. Don’t ask me, but for some reason I decided to pick it up and set it up…guess it is that ‘universe’ thing that Tara is always talking about.”

Willow looked at Tara and smiled. Would you keep me company, maybe sit with me while I fall asleep? That is if you want to, I don’t want to be presumptuous, maybe you have a new girlfriend or even a boyfriend and I am all in this can you come up with me…” Fortunately Willow was quieted by Tara’s hand on her lips.

“Of course I will come up and I promise I will stay with you as long as you want me to.”

“Forever?”

“If that is what you want. Why don’t we take it a day at a time right now … you just came through what I suspect was a travail.

“It wasn’t too bad.” Willow yawned again.

“I better get you upstairs before I have to carry you up. I could, but I think you’d prefer to walk.”

Willow smiled, hugged her aunt goodnight and walked up the stairs. Despite her desire to bask in Tara’s presence, Willow fell asleep almost the moment her head hit the pillow, or actually when her head rested against her favorite pillow, her girlfriend’s soft chest. The last thing she remembered was the soft feeling of Tara running her hands through her hair.

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Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/27/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 2:59 pm 
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Yay for great update-y goodness... Can't wait for their big talk the next day... I'm glad that Willow still had some sense of humor after the "turture" she endured with her "mother"... Big yay for Willow falling asleep on her favorite "pillows"...

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/27/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 4:20 pm 
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Wow, that was a speedy update! I didn't even have a chance to comment on the first update, so I figured I'd better say something before you posted again! lol.

I'm thrilled by these last two updates and not bothered at all by the POV. I can FINALLY see the clouds clearing for W/T to be able to spend some real time together, not being pulled apart and controlled by others. They are both now at a place in their lives where they can enjoy a healthy relationship in a safe, loving environment.

Thanks for the second update!!! ;-) ;-) ;-)

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~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/27/11)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 7:16 pm 
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YAY!!!! great updates!

PLEASE pay no mind to me and my impatience. i have a particularly nasty form of insomnia, and i use the fics here on the board as a form of therapy. the works here on the board are 1000 times better then any soap opera, they always have my favorite characters, and i can 'view' them whenever i want or need to. can't beat that!

so, yeah, love the story. our girls finally get the chance to be close! i know that it won't be instantly perfect, but it's a really great start.

and joyce is a great role model and loving grown-up. there should be more like her.

i'm eagerly (but quietly) awaiting the next installment. :kdevil

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 5/5/11
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 7:15 pm 
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Sorry it has been so long since the last post. I was finishing up my dissertation and that took all of my free time. I plan to be posting more consistently from now on. Thanks to everyone who read this story.

Part 65

Tara extricated herself from beneath Willow once the girl’s soft breathing became rhythmic. As much as she would like to have remained the girl’s pillow, she knew that she would never been able to sleep, and she had another long day ahead of her at work. Tara quietly went down the stairs. Joyce was sitting in the living room reading a book when she went past.

“She asleep?”

“Yes.”

“Can you believe she is here?”

“No. You?”

“Not really. I was hoping when her birthday past that maybe we’d see her. But remember I lived with Willow’s mother for four years, she’s a force to be reckoned with.”

Tara yawned, “Well Joyce, I gotta get to bed, 6 am is going to come mighty early. Tell her that I look forward to seeing her tomorrow night.”

“I will, and I am certain she’ll feel the same way.”

Tara went out of the house and up to her apartment. It was initially hard to fall asleep, but she used the relaxation techniques that she had learned to calm her racing head down, and fell asleep.

The alarm rang early, and Tara did what she needed to do to get ready for work. As she walked down the driveway, she looked up at Willow’s bedroom. The shades were still drawn tightly against the rising sun. As she waited for the bus to come and during the ride to work, Tara thought about the ramifications of Willow’s return.

Once she got to work, it was almost impossible to focus on anything other than the children, and even during lunch, she was bombarded by coworker’s questions that she didn’t have time to think about how her life had just changed. This realization didn’t really hit until the bus ride home, and Tara began to feel a sense of anxiety pooling in her stomach. It felt like doom and dread. Similar to the feeling that she would get when she was going to sleep at night, and wondering how her father or brother would be expecting when they got home. These feelings were confusing. Tara felt the familiar urge to flee. This is what I want, isn’t it? What I’ve been dreaming about for years? Why do I feel so scared? ‘Cause it is real now. You two are not going to be ships that pass in the night, rather this will be when the rubber hits the road, and we’re going to find out if we really are able to have a relationship. A relationship… Tara knew that she had been hiding behind ‘waiting for Willow’ as a way to avoid intimacy. It was perfect to have a girlfriend that was more of an idea than a reality. Now the idea was reality and she was scared!

Tara half expected to be accosted at the driveway, but Joyce’s car was gone, so she figured that they had gone somewhere. Tara went up to her apartment and took a shower. She heard the car enter the garage while she still in the shower. She was putting on her clothes when she heard a tentative knock on her door. Before thinking, she yelled out “Who is it?”

There was a silence, and then a quiet, “Willow” came from outside the door.

Tara shook herself back into the present, and went to the door. Willow was standing on the doorstep with a bouquet of flowers.

Tara opened the door and wordlessly indicated for her to come in.

Shit, what am I supposed to do? What does she expect me to do? How the hell can I meet her expectations if I have ABSOLUTELY NO idea of what they are?

Tara looked over at the younger girl and could tell that she too did not seem too confident. Tara took the flowers out of Willow’s hands kissed her on the cheek while thanking her, and went into the kitchenette to find a vase. When she turned around to put the vase on the table, she saw that Willow was still standing in the same place.

“Why don’t you sit down sweetie?” I hope that it is OK that I called her sweetie…

Willow sat down on the futon. Tara pondered whether she should sit down at the table, or next to Willow, deciding on the futon, but sitting a little distance from the beautiful girl. There was an awkward silence that probably was less than two minutes, but felt like an eternity. Neither of the girls was really looking at each other, but neither was really looking away. Once or twice their eyes met and they smiled. Willow broke the silence, “So do you like your job?”

“Um…yes…I guess so. My co-teacher has been out the last week, so it has been a little crazy, but I really like the kids.”

There was another long pause what do I ask her? So did you enjoy your last hospitalization? So how was Boston? How are your parents? Shit.

“It was a really nice day outside today.” Said Willow. Oh great, now we are talking about the weather. Way to go Maclay.

“Yes it was, is, I sat outside during one of my breaks. Did you and Joyce do anything?”

“Well, I slept pretty late. We went to the mall and I bought some clothes and we had lunch. Monday, I am going to go to the admission office and see if what I need to do to re-enroll. I worry that my leave of absence ran out in September. I am going to call my advisor and see if there is still room on the team.”

“I bet it will go ok.” Come on Tara, keep the conversation going…

After another pause Willow took a deep breath and said, “So um…where do we….um…are we still…?”

Tara looked at her expectantly, thinking she knew what the girl was asking but afraid that she was wrong.

“I know I asked you last night, and you were all with the ‘I’ll be here for you’ but just to be clear …have you...are you seeing …um involved with…dating anyone?”

Tara looked at her with a slightly perplexed look on her face…”Um no…you? ” she took a deep breath, put yourself out there…what’s the worst that can happen? You’ll look stupid, and you can start looking for another place to live this weekend.

Willow let go of her breath, “Woo. I was thinking that maybe you were dating someone, and you just didn’t know how to tell me. Joyce said that she didn’t think you’d been dating anyone, but she said that she doesn’t pry...and she said that sometimes you both are kind of in parallel lives for weeks at a time, so I thought maybe…” A look of shock came over her face, “Um you just said you were dating me right? Not asking if I was dating anyone, ‘cause kinda hard to date in an institution, especially when you’re there because they say you have sexual problems…not that I wanted to date anyone…”

Tara could not take it anymore, she moved over toward Willow and did the thing that she knew was the only thing that could quiet this sort of tirade, she kissed her. It was a short kiss and she pulled back.

“Was that Ok?”

“Um I am not sure what you are asking? Was it an OK kiss? Definitely, was it ok you kissed me? Definitely, so I guess the answer is definitely.

“I have missed your literal sense of humor SO much.”

“Is that all?” said Willow in a flirtatious manner.

“Um…NO. Do you want me to elucidate all the things that I have missed about you? Um…your smile, your face, talking to you, knowing where you are, what you are doing. Every night I said ‘good night’ to you when I was about to go to bed. Every night I prayed that we’d find each other again. Every day I have thought about you. No your sense of humor was NOT the only think I missed about you. But I did miss that.”

“So now I know why I’d get that wave of peace wash over me at night. It must have been your good night salutation and your prayers. I thought about you a lot too. Especially at night” It seemed that Willow caught the double entendre, because she quickly said, “I didn’t mean that…Shit I did mean that. I have thought about you both innocently and not so innocently about you at night.”

“Me too.” Tara admitted. Any more details about this thought were curtailed by the phone ringing.

Tara got up to answer it, “Um yes, we will be down in a minute, can I bring anything for the salad? I have some carrots and celery I think.”

“That was Joyce.”

“Really, I was thinking it was someone else inviting you over for dinner. That is why she sent me over here, but I think she knew that I might get waylaid.”

Tara blushed.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“No what?”

“I can’t say it.”

“Come on.”

“Let’s just say that my head is having a hard time getting out of the gutter.”

“Really?”

“You started it.”

“How?” said Willow trying to feign innocence.

“That nighttime thinking thing.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Vixen.”

“Maybe, but it takes one to know one.”

“I guess. Well, I told Joyce we would be coming down.”

Willow started to laugh.

It took Tara a moment or two to figure out what was so funny. “Ok, we’ve got to get our minds off that track. I can’t be blushing all through dinner.”

“Oh, I’ll make sure that you are? “

“Is that a dare?”

“Nope a promise.” Willow got up and exited the apartment.

“Oh my God, I am in for it.” said Tara as she followed her out.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 2/27/11)
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 7:40 am 
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Yay for great update-y goodness.... I'm glad that they continued from pretty much where they left off when Sheila-monster "kidnapped" Willow to Boston... I'm very glad that they both said that they have not-so-innocent thoughts about each other. I kinda hope that they soon have an opportunity to put those thoughts into action...

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 5-5-11
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 5:25 pm 
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Yay an update!! Woo and Hoo!!! :banana

Quote:
I was finishing up my dissertation and that took all of my free time.
Um, that was kind of a lame excuse. You're really going to have to come up with something much better!! :-p But seriously, congrats on getting it done. :grin

I'm absolutely thrilled to see the girls back together, even though their reunion thus far has been somewhat of an awkward one. Especially that first bit when Willow came up to see Tara after work...Awwwwwwkwaaaaaaard!

Quote:
How the hell can I meet her expectations if I have ABSOLUTELY NO idea of what they are?
I love it when we finally get to the meaning behind story titles! ;-) Tara's worries and anxieties were to be expected. Even though they are both on the other side of their respective illnesses, there will always be things that trigger those uneasy feelings.

So, so happy to see them FINALLY getting more comfortable around each other! From this point, I feel like they really just need to try and have somewhat of a normal courtship before they jump into anything else. With Willow bringing Tara the flowers, very sweet BTW, I feel like they are definitely on the right track! ;-)

Great update and happy to see that we'll be getting more frequent updates!

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"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 5-5-11
PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2011 6:19 pm 
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I really like this story. I can't wait to find out what happens next. Are Tara and Willow going to be ok? Will they run into Faith or Buffy some time down the road? Is Carly going to pay for what she did? Can't wait to find out.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 5-5-11
PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2011 6:03 pm 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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Location: Texas, Y'all
I'm so far behindbut ifeel like they are making such good progress. I know it will be difficult but they are doing so much better.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 5-5-11
PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:13 pm 
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8. Vixen

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Location: North Carolina, USA
Sorry this update took so long. I had serious writers block. I know where the story is going, but how to get there I don't know. Thanks for those who wait patiently.

Part 66

Willow was disappointed when she woke up and did not find her Tara pillow beside her. But when she looked at the clock she knew why. It was 10:00. If Tara had stayed, she would have had to leave hours ago to get to work. So the cold spot beside her left no clue about how long the blond haired beauty had stayed beside her. Willow stretched and took a look around the room. It was clear that Joyce had set up the room with her in mind. There were floor to ceiling bookcases, and an expansive desk and if Willow could see correctly, the pencil holder was full of multicolored highlighters as well as a variety of pens and pencils.

Willow got up, searched through her bag and found a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt that was in decent enough shape to wear. She was surprised to find Joyce at the kitchen table doing a crossword puzzle.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Like a rock. I didn’t expect that you’d be home. Didn’t you have to go to work?”

“My assistant said that she had it covered. She has heard so much about you that she knew that I didn’t want to leave. I figured from your small bag, that you’d probably need to go shopping too. I suspect the weather here is a bit different that Boston. It must have already gotten cold there, right? Plus, the malls around here are crazy on the weekends. It is still 2 weeks from Thanksgiving, but you’d think it was already the holiday shopping season. Are you hungry? I’ve got bagels, and cereal, and if there is anything else you want, the store is only 5 minutes away.”

“Bagels sound great. The hospital had cereal galore. If I never see another cornflake or toasted oat again, it will be fine.”

“So…” the women looked at Willow. She seemed poised to ask a question, but stopped herself.

“Is there something you wanted to ask, Aunt Joyce?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to pepper you with questions, you just got up…”

“Ask away.”

“Let me get your breakfast, and another cup of coffee. Then we can sit and chat. The rest of the newspaper is on the counter if you want to read it. When you were little, that is always what I’d find you doing. Precocious thing you were.”

“I feel really out of it. Nobody ever wanted to watch the news when we got to use the TV, and I think the staff was not supposed to talk about current events too much… Don’t want to upset the inmates and all.”

“Was it really that bad?” asked Joyce as she put a plate and the cream cheese in front of Willow.

“Parts of it were. Most of it wasn’t too bad. At first, I was in the part that was truly a hospital; locked ward, padded cells, just like it is in the movies. But I moved to the unlocked ward, and then another program that was supposedly for girls like me, that was supposed to be more home-like. It was sort of a cross between the hospital and that place you took me out of...” I think they said it was for girls with borderline personality.” Willow air quoted the words. “That was the new diagnosis that they chose. Forget that it isn’t supposed to be used on people under 18.”

Joyce put the toasted bagel in front of Willow. “Sometimes I really want to strangle your mother.”

“Better you to say it than me. I said that once when I was angry, and they put me on assault precautions and warned my mother. We had to have supervised visits for a few months to make sure that I didn’t act on it.”

“Well, when I see her again, assault precautions might be a good idea for me.”

“You said ‘when’. She hasn’t called has she?” Willow said with a panicked voice.

“No. Sweetie. And if she did, I promise, she’ll not know you are here. I got that message loud and clear.”

“Thanks. I am serious. I really don’t want anything to do with them right now.”

“That is fine. So start at the beginning, what happened?”

“Well, you know I was in the hospital. They moved me to Mass General as soon as I stabilized. I was there for about two weeks I think, and then they said that they were sending me to cardiac rehab. But it was more rehab than cardio. I guess McLean’s said that they had enough medical staff on sight to help me ‘gain back my strength’. It was pretty much that I couldn’t exercise except for taking slow walks with a tech once a day, and lift light weights 3 times a week. They had computers, so it wasn’t too bad. There were some other kids that I could relate to. I made good friends with one other girl who had a similar story to me. She was sort of a combo of Tara and me; anorexia and cutting. She was on the hospital ward with me and then was at the program too. She’s probably the only one I will miss. “

“Were you close?” Willow could tell she was choosing her words carefully.

“No, nothing like that…she was straight as an arrow…and even if she wasn’t, no way… “

“Well, when you said she was like you and Tara.”

“Not THAT much like us. Really there is not much more to say.”

“Your mom said that you were going to go back to college. If she’d indicated at all that she was going to institutionalize you…I would have tried to do something about it. I promise you.”

“There was nothing you could have done…”

“I would have wanted to though. You have got to believe me.”

“I do. It wasn’t all that bad…I got some good therapy, and I feel like I understand some more about how I got to where I am. All things happen for a reason. No hard feelings… I just am so thankful you’re here to let me hang for awhile ‘till I get myself settled.”

“Willow. This is your home now. You don’t have to get settled.”

“I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Did you not notice that the guest room was made to your specifications?”

“Sort of…” said Willow sheepishly.

“I want you to know that this will ALWAYS be your home. Where ever I live, there will always be room for you.”

“Thanks.”

Joyce and Willow went shopping. On the way back, Willow asked Joyce to stop at the flower shop. She picked up a bouquet of flowers. When they got home, the lights were on in Tara’s apartment. Joyce went inside and started dinner.

“Tell Tara that dinner is going to be ready in 30 minutes.”

“Ok.” Willow said as she walked up the stairs to Tara’s apartment. All of a sudden Willow began to get cold feet. She’d been thinking about Tara every day and every night for over the last year. Now she was going to be able to be with her, the reality petrified her. She knocked lightly at the door.
The door opened, Tara looked at her and then took the flowers out of her hands, kissed her on the cheek and went into the kitchenette to find a vase. Willow stood there not knowing what to do.

“Why don’t you sit down sweetie?”

Willow sat down on the futon. Tara joined her. After about two minutes of silence, asked, “So do you like your job?”

“Um…yes…I guess so. My co-teacher has been out the last week, so it has been a little crazy, but I really like the kids.”

The silence returned, “It was a really nice day outside today,” said Willow.

“Yes it was, is, I sat outside during one of my breaks. Did you and Joyce do anything?”

“Well, I slept pretty late. We went to the mall and I bought some clothes and we had lunch. Monday, I am going to go to the admission office and see if what I need to do to re-enroll. I worry that my leave of absence ran out in September. I am going to call my advisor and see if there is still room on the team.”

“I bet it will go ok.” said Tara.

After another pause Willow took a deep breath and said, “So um…where do we….um…are we still…?”

“I know I asked you last night, and you were all with the ‘I’ll be here for you’ but just to be clear …have you...are you seeing …um involved with…dating anyone?”

”Um no…you? ”
Willow let go of her breath, “Woo. I was thinking that maybe you were dating someone, and you just didn’t know how to tell me. Joyce said that she didn’t think you’d been dating anyone, but she said that she doesn’t pry...and she said that sometimes you both are kind of in parallel lives for weeks at a time, so I thought maybe…” A look of shock came over her face, “Um you just said you were dating me right? Not asking if I was dating anyone, ‘cause kinda hard to date in an institution, especially when you’re there because they say you have sexual problems…not that I wanted to date anyone…” Can you shut up Rosenberg? She didn’t have to worry because, she found Tara’s soft lips against her own.

It was a short kiss and Tara pulled back.“Was that Ok?”

“Um I am not sure what you are asking? Was it an OK kiss? Definitely, was it ok you kissed me? Definitely, so I guess the answer is definitely.

“I have missed your literal sense of humor SO much.”

“Is that all?” said Willow in a flirtatious manner.

“Um…NO. Do you want me to elucidate all the things that I have missed about you? Um…your smile, your face, talking to you, knowing where you are, what you are doing. Every night I said ‘good night’ to you when I was about to go to bed. Every night I prayed that we’d find each other again. Every day I have thought about you. No your sense of humor was NOT the only think I missed about you. But I did miss that.”

“So now I know why I’d get that wave of peace wash over me at night. It must have been your good night salutation and your prayers. I thought about you a lot too. Especially at night” It seemed that Willow caught the double entendre, because she quickly said, “I didn’t mean that…Shit I did mean that. I have thought about you both innocently and not so innocently about you at night.”

“Me too.” Tara admitted. Any more details about this thought were curtailed by the phone ringing.

Tara got up to answer it, “Um yes, we will be down in a minute, can I bring anything for the salad? I have some carrots and celery I think.”

“That was Joyce.”

“Really, I was thinking it was someone else inviting you over for dinner. That is why she sent me over here, but I think she knew that I might get waylaid.”

Tara blushed.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“No what?”

“I can’t say it.”

“Come on.”

“Let’s just say that my head is having a hard time getting out of the gutter.”

“Really?”

“You started it.”

“How?” said Willow trying to feign innocence.

“That nighttime thinking thing.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Vixen.”

“Maybe, but it takes one to know one.”

“I guess. Well, I told Joyce we would be coming down.”

Willow started to laugh.

“Ok, we’ve got to get our minds off that track. I can’t be blushing all through dinner.”

“Oh, I’ll make sure that you are? “

“Is that a dare?”

“Nope a promise.” Willow got up and exited the apartment.


After dinner, Willow and Tara were doing the dishes when all of a sudden she started to feel dizzy and nauseated. She felt like she was going to pass out, so she sat down on the floor beside the sink.

Tara bent down next to Willow and asked her what was the matter.

“I just don’t feel so good. Maybe something I ate didn’t agree with me.”

“Does this happen often?”

“No. I used to get migraines, but this feels different. One of the ladies sitting next to me was sneezing, maybe I am getting sick.”

Tara felt Willow’s head, “You don’t feel hot, but you are sort of clammy. Maybe you should go to bed.”

“Are you trying to get me to bed Ms. Maclay? I don’t think...”

“No, that is not what I meant. If you don’t feel well, you should go to bed.”

“I know what you mean. I’m sorry. I was really looking forward to….” Willow felt herself getting dizzier. She put her head between her legs.

“Don’t worry….we have plenty of time…” Tara helped her get up and brought her up to her room.

“Will you stay with me again until I fall asleep?”

“Sure.” Tara lay down on the bed.

Willow’s sleep was fitful. She’d wake up and look for Tara, then fall back to sleep when she saw the girl beside her. Shit I feel sick as a dog. I hope I don’t get Tara sick. .

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-10-110
PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:11 am 
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9. Gay Now
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Location: Kaskinen, Finland. Citizen of Kitopia
Yay for great update-y goodness... Welcome back!... I truly hope that Willow's illness isn't serious...

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