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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-10-110
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 2:02 am 
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1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Tue May 10, 2011 4:37 pm
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This has got to be one of my favorite stories. Thanks for the update. I can't wait to read more :).


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-10-110
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 3:38 am 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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Wow. Joyce is just so wonderful. It seems like Willow actually does have it together these days and Joyce and Tara can be there for her. I liked the interaction between Willow & Tara before dinner from Willow's side. It was very touching how she didn't know their status. They are very solid even though they have issues. Well done.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-10-110
PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 4:22 am 
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10. Troll Hammer

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Wow, my guidelines for choosing what to read here (specificially the one about not liking stories with W&T in high school together) really let me down here; this is absolutely amazing, and given my tim e limitations it's too late to catch up. Still, just from the very few chapters I've read, this story could (like "Neverland" and "Racing the Rain") quite easily be "deBuffyized" and submitted for open-market publishing. I'll defintiely be on board for future updates.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-10-110
PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 10:15 am 
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3. Flaming O
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Wow. I just finished reading everything here, and it's all EXCELLENT. Looking forward to any future updates!

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-10-110
PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:27 pm 
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20. Not one Much for the Timber
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So, here we have the POV switch to Willow. I really like seeing both sides. First Tara's anxiety and now Willow uncertainty. I liked that Willow didn't just 'assume' they were still together and had the presence of mind to ask. It really shows her progress...for which I am very happy!

The only thing that worries me now is, how sick is Willow? I'm hoping that it's just a minor cold or something, but with her heart condition...who knows?

Looking forward to future updates!! :kgeek :kgeek :kgeek

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-10-110
PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 2:43 pm 
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6. Sassy Eggs

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Zampsa75: I always appreciate your comments.

cpasqua8: I am glad that you like the story, I hope I do not disappoint you.

JustSkipit: Thanks for the encouragement; it means a lot to me.

DaddyCatALSO: Wow, I have got to say that your feedback made me smile; to be linked with the other noted stories is quite a compliment.

Bravelittletoaster: Thanks.

Finey_McFine: Don’t worry, the ‘illness’ isn’t too serious. It will be explained in Willow POV.

Part 67

As much as Tara didn’t want to leave, she could tell the girl beneath her arm was sleeping fitfully, Tara hoped that if she was alone in the bed, she’d fall into a deeper slumber. Willow whimpered as Tara moved away, but readjusted herself and fell back to sleep.

Tara to exit the house quietly; however, she found Joyce sitting at the kitchen table reading a novel and drinking tea.

“Is she asleep?”

“Yes, but I don’t think she is feeling well. She kept on waking up and thrashing, and then going back to sleep.”

“Do you think I should take her to the doctor?”

“I don’t know. It is that whole ‘if it is a virus'there is nothing that they can do, but with her heart problems, I don’t know.”

“I guess I’ll decide in the morning. I have to admit that I am surprised that you are leaving again.”

Tara blushed. She knew that Joyce was aware of their relationship, but acknowledging the physical part of it still was a difficult thing for her to do. Tara was technically and adult, as was Willow now, but she still felt like a teenager, and didn’t want to talk about it with Joyce

“I felt like maybe she could sleep better if I left.”

“Ah…”

‘Well, I better get going. I’m tired. Keep me in the loop about Willow, and tell her I said ‘goodnight’.”

“I will.”

Tara went back to her apartment and got ready for bed. As sleepy as she was, it was hard to fall asleep. Both the worries about Willow’s health and her concerns about their relationship kept lapping through her brain. She tried to use her relaxation breathing, and what felt like a few hours later, she fell asleep.

Tara was awoken by the sound of Joyce’s car leaving the driveway.

I guess Willow still was feeling bad. I hope it is nothing serious. Tara planned to get up, but she found herself falling back to sleep. When she woke up, the car was still gone. Tara got up, made herself breakfast, and gathered her laundry to bring down to the garage to wash.

She was sorting the laundry when the car came up the driveway. Tara tried to remain “cool” and aloof. Obviously Willow had fallen asleep in the car. Joyce shook her awake and led her into the house. Willow didn’t even seem to see Tara.

Once Tara got back to her room, she found a message from Joyce on the machine.

“Hi Tara, Willow wanted to make sure that I told you that she wanted to visit with you after she woke up. She tried to get up to come to your apartment, but she was too tired.”

Tara thought about calling the woman back and asking what was going on, but decided that it was something that she should ask Willow, rather than her aunt.

Tara settled down in her room and tried to read a book. Every few minutes, she’d look at the clock, and was amazed that time ticked away so slowly.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-10-110
PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:25 pm 
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Yay for great update-y goodness... I truly hope that Tara gets good news from Willow when they meet next time...

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-10-110
PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:19 pm 
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20. Not one Much for the Timber
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Ahhh...the 'illness' plot thickens and from Tara's POV...who knows? Hopefully we don't have to wait too long to see things from Willow's POV.

I have to say, that it's weird not seeing Tara stay with Willow when she knows that the girl is obviously sick. You do such a great job of keeping these two slightly off kilter and making their relationship just a bit uncomfortable and awkward. Great job!

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"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-31-2011
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 4:33 pm 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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Well. How worrisome. It does feel strange for Tara to not stay with Willow and it feels strange that Will didn't call Tara when she and Joyce got home. I wonder what is going on.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-31-2011
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 6:56 pm 
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1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:23 pm
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Oh my golly! More... must have more plz! I just registered but have been on the sight lotz. I LOVE this story. U write so we'll...
Lookin fwd to the next update. Hope its soon


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-31-2011
PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 2:44 pm 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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I think this is a great story. A lot of ofther fics include the abuse that Tara faced at the hands of her family but, she always seemed to internalize it and get by as if it had not really affected her deeply beyond occasional nightmares. I work in the mental health field and truly know what happens to these kids as they mature into adults and the baggage that if forces them to carry. I really appreciate you writing a story from this prospective as I think that people often think that once children escape the dangerous environment they were raised in that for the most part it is all sunshine and puppy dogs but, unfortuantely that is not true. The mental scars left behind can be much deeper than the physical ones and it takes a really strong person and years of therapy to overcome their violent childhood and become a health adult and have a health physical relationship with someone. So, take that times two for our two girls and this makes for a very interesting and impactful story.

Thank you for being so brave to breach this topic so fully, and I look forward to future updates.

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Tara: " I got so lost."
Willow: "I found you. I will always find you."


Remodeling: The Reconstruction of Tara Maclay / W/T Potpourri


Last edited by True_Love on Mon Dec 12, 2011 2:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 7-31-2011
PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 4:00 pm 
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6. Sassy Eggs

Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
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Zampsa19752001: The news will be good. Thanks for reading.

Finey_McFine: The girls don’t know exactly where they stand. Tara doesn’t want to be pushy. I am glad that you appreciate the “slightly off kilterness” that is what I intended. Relationships, especially newish relationships are awkward.

JustSkipIt: Just read on. I just didn’t think Tara would feel confident enough to stay.

Dr. Love: Sorry it took so long. After writing the dissertation, my muse went away for a while.

True_Love: Thanks for the feedback. I too am in the mental health field, and I work with severely emotionally troubled teenagers, so I know that sunshine and puppy dogs rarely appear. Thanks for affirming what I am doing.

Part 68

Willow woke up and wondered who had been tap dancing on her head. She swore that she could hear the blood flowing through brain and it sounded like it was a rushing river. Willow put her fingers over her ears in an attempt to quiet the sound. She opened her eyes the sunshine made her headache even worse and she quickly closed them again.

Shit. What is wrong with me? I can’t be sick. Maybe if I just try to go to sleep again, I’ll wake up and I will feel better.

This would have been a great plan, however one body system was not cooperating, she had to pee. Willow raised herself out of the bed and tried to walk as slowly and evenly as she could so not to jar her head. She tried she squinted and opened just one eye in an attempt to not have to subject herself to the sunlight that bathed the hallway with what Willow suspected was supposed to be beautiful California sunshine, but at this moment seemed to be like arrows piercing her head. As she walked, a feeling of nausea overtook her and she briefly wondered which part of herself she’d need to place onto the toilet first.

She finally got to the bathroom, and found that the nausea abated when she sat down. So she did what she needed to do and sat in the bathroom for a few minutes while she got up the courage to brave the sunshine filled hallway again. She was just about to begin her trek again, when she heard a knock on the door.

“Willow, are you ok?”

Joyce’s voice seemed to be several decibels louder that could be humanly possible, Willow managed to squeak out, “I am fine, just a little headache.”

“Do you need something for it?”

“I don’t know. I think I just need to sleep some more.”

“You’ve been sleeping for the last 12 hours, are you sure you are ok?”

Willow pondered whether honesty was the best policy. She had spent so many years denying that she needed anything or any care from others. She had learned at an early age that Sheila would become annoyed whenever Willow was sick and would question her symptoms at every opportunity, often telling her that she was sure she’d feel better if she just got up and went to school. Willow had suffered through many illnesses sitting in the back of the classroom with her head down on her desk. When a teacher would call her mother, Sheila would always put the blame on Willow; saying that she’d insisted on going to school, despite Sheila’s suggestions to stay home.

“Willow are you ok?” Joyce’s voice sounded concerned.

“I don’t know. I just have a really bad headache. Maybe it is a migraine.”

“Have you had migraines before?”

“No.”

“Do you mind if I come in?”

“No.”

Her aunt came into the room and immediately put her hand on Willow’s forehead.

“You look pale sweetheart. I think I should take you to the doctor.”

“I am sure that it is nothing,” said Willow, not wanting to deal with the chance that her parents would track her down from any attempt to use her insurance.

“I am sure that it is probably nothing too, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. There is a walk in clinic near my work. I have heard that they are quick and inexpensive. I’d just like someone to check you out. Would you be willing to go?”

The idea of getting out of the bathroom was overwhelming, Willow was not sure she could fathom doing anything else, but she could tell that her aunt was worried, so she acquiesced. Fortunately, she was already in sweats and a tee shirt, so all she needed to do was slip on the pair of sandals she had gotten on their shopping trip, and slowly go down the stairs, out the door and into the car.

There were not many people at the clinic, Willow took the requisite paperwork and began to fill it out. All of the questions swam before her. She must have been staring at the paper, because Joyce took it out of her hand and began filling it out.

“When were you in the hospital last? It was in the winter, right”

“February”

“Did you have any other hospitalizations or injuries?”

“Just medical, or both”

“Probably both.”

“Too many to mention. Just write down, “history of multiple hospitalizations due to issues surrounding eating disorders, most recent treatment at McLean and Mass General. I also broke my arm when I was seven.”

“Do you take any medications?”

“Not anymore.”

Joyce finished filling out the paperwork and brought it up to the counter. About 15 minutes later, Willow’s name was called.

“Do you mind if I come with?”

Willow’s head continued to pound, and she really didn’t care what Joyce did or did not do

She was led into a examination room after the requisite weighing, temperature and blood pressure check. Willow did not think she’d ever been so happy to see a exam table in her life. She climbed up onto it and lay down, glad to be able to close her eyes again. She felt herself begin to drift into sleep when the door opened and in walked a young doctor.

“So Miss Rosenberg, what seems to be the trouble?”

“Headache, really bad headache.”

“Have you had this before?”

“Not like this.”

“You’re mom wrote that you’d been treated for heart problems at Mass General in February.”

My mother Willow began to panic, and then she realized that the doctor must have thought Joyce was her mother.

“My aunt”

“She’s my niece” said Joyce and Willow simultaneously.

The doctor looked at them. “Ok, whatever. What kind of heart problems do you have?”

“I had a slight heart attack due to electrolyte imbalance secondary to anorexia.” Said Willow in a matter of fact way.

The doctor took his stethoscope and listened to her heart and lungs. He looked at the encounter form that the nurse had written her pulse, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. He looked in her eyes.

shit that light is bright Willow thought to herself.

“Have you been around anyone who was sick lately?”

“Not that I know of, but I was on a plane day before yesterday from Boston to California. One of my seatmates was sneezing, but she swore that it was allergies. “

“Did you get a flu shot?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, you don’t have a fever, so I doubt it is the flu. But you should think about getting one because of your history of heart issues. I’ll send you to the lab to have some blood drawn, and we can check for mono, that sometimes causes headaches. Have you been kissing anyone?” the doctor said with a laugh.

Willow blanched, shit, what if I got Tara sick. She can’t afford to miss any work, I should have been more careful.” Willow’s self recriminations were broken by the doctor’s comment and question.

“Well, your blood pressure, pulse and blood oxygen levels are all normal, so I don’t think this headache is related to your heart problems. Tell me a little about your time at McLean, that is also in Boston right?”

Willow knew that McLean was actually in Belmont, not Boston, but she knew not to argue, especially when she was on the west coast. “ I was in their hospital program, and then moved to a residential program. I was there from late Feb until 3 days ago.”

“Were you on any meds?”

“Yes, Paxil 40 mg and Wellbutrin 150mg.”

Joyce looked at her, “I thought you said you weren’t taking any medicine.”

Willow looked sheepishly at the two older adults. “Well, actually, right now I am not…”

“So are you telling me that you went cold turkey off two antidepressants 3 days ago.”

Willow nodded her head.

“Let me guess…you also feel nauseous and just want to sleep.”

Willow nodded.

“Did anyone tell you that you shouldn’t go off your meds cold turkey?”

“Um….”

“Well, I suspect that this choice is responsible for your feeling sick. I will write you a script for the meds and I suggest you meet with a psychiatrist who can help you go off your meds properly, if that is what you think is best for you. I have a few recommendations if that would help.”

“Does that mean I don’t have to get my blood drawn?”

“I don’t think so. Go see your own doctor if the symptoms don’t get better within the next few days.”

Willow felt chagrined, she took the scripts from the doctor, and she and Joyce left the clinic. It wasn’t until they were in the car that Willow realized that she had not paid.

“We didn’t pay.”

“I did when I went up to get the forms, they took my credit card and said they’d just submit the amount.”

“You didn’t have to do that. I have money.”

“I know you do.”

Willow looked at her aunt, and didn’t have the energy to argue. They left the clinic, and went into the adjacent pharmacy. Willow sat with her head against the wall while they filled her prescriptions. She saw Joyce pull out her credit card and got up as quickly as she could to pay. Unfortunately, the quickest she could get up, was no match for her able bodied aunt. So once again, the older woman had taken care of her.

Willow fell asleep in the car on the way home, and was still so tired that she could not think about doing anything other than going back to bed. She wanted to see Tara, but she felt she just needed a short nap first. Joyce helped her out of the car and Willow shuffled up to her bedroom. When Joyce asked if she needed anything, Willow responded, “Just call Tara and say I will see her after I take a nap. Don’t tell her why I don’t feel good, ok?”

“Ok. Sleep tight sweetie.”

When Willow woke up, her headache was not as bad, and she was feeling a little better. She felt that she could actually take a shower. So she went into the bathroom. The tub looked more inviting, so she turned on the water and took a bath instead. This made her feel even better, and she put on some clothes and went downstairs.

Her aunt was reading in the living room, and popped up as soon as she saw Willow coming down the stairs.

“Are you ok? Do you want something for lunch?”

“My stomach still does not feel too good. I think I am just going to go over to Tara’s if that is ok.”

“Fine with me. Have fun.”

Willow walked out of the house and up the stairs leading to Tara’s apartment. She knocked lightly first, and then a little louder. Tara opened the door. Willow looked into the deep blue eyes of her girlfriend a tingle went from her head to her toes.

“So I saw you left, did you go to the doctor? Are you ok? It is not your heart is it? Are you sick?”

Willow put her finger on Tara’s lips in an attempt to stifle the babble.

“Yes I went to the doctor, no I am not sick. I just have a killer headache and feel sick to my stomach, but the doctor said that I will feel better in a day or two. Do you mind if I sit down, I still am feeling kind of lightheaded from the headache.”

“Of course,” said a flustered Tara, as she led Willow to the couch and sat down next to her.

“So what is wrong?”

Willow blushed. “It’s all my own fault. I am a chemistry major for the goddesses sake, I should have figured it out myself. Well, I am a chemist not a pharmacologist, but still, it was so stupid.”

“What?”

“I went cold turkey off my meds. I didn’t think they were doing anything, so I didn’t think it would effect me at all. Well, I was wrong.”

“Well, at least they could do something about it, right?”

“Yes,” Willow sneered, “but it involves me having to still take the stupid pills. I hate pills. I am NOT depressed or anxious.”

“If you say so.” Said Tara subvocally.

“What did you say?” said Willow

“Nothing.”

“You said something.” Willow was starting to feel angry and defensive.

“I did, but maybe I shouldn’t have…I am sorry.” Tara was looking as though someone had slapped her.

Willow took a deep breath, and tried to calm herself down. She was mad at herself, not Tara, and it was not ok to take it out on Tara.

“No, really I want to know what you said.”

“No you don’t”

“Yes, I do.” Willow looked deep into Tara’s eyes. “I always want to know what you think and say.”

“It was sarcastic.”

“All the better.”

“I just said, ‘if you say so.’”

“So you think I am depressed and anxious. Do I look depressed to you. No wait, don’t answer that, I know I look like shit. “

“It wasn’t the depression I was responding to. “

“You think I am anxious?”

“A little…” said Tara quietly.

Willow thought for a few moments and acknowledged, “Ok,maybe a little anxious. But I have things to be anxious about. I don’t know if I’ll get back into school. I don’t know if my parents are going to track me down. I don’t know if my girlfriend still wants to be with me or what she is expecting from this relationship.” F&*^ I didn’t mean to say that one.

“You honestly don’t know that I want to be with you? And I have NO expectations, hopes maybe, byt expectations, no.”

Willow could see the hurt in Tara’s eyes. “I…I.. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just feel so messed up, and I don’t know why someone as beautiful and great as you would want to be around a loser like me. I can’t even run away right. I end up having to go to the doctors within 3 days. What if Aunt Joyce had given them my insurance. Sheila and Ira would be on the doorstep within days.”

“She didn’t did she?” asked Tara.

“Nope, paid in cash, well actually credit card, but same thing. No paper trail.”

“You know that they are eventually going to find you, right?”

“Well, they won’t find out from McLean, I threatened to sue them for HIPPA violations if they told. And Aunt Joyce promised that she would not confirm that I was here. So it might take awhile. Plus they don’t know that I had some money. They probably think I am around Boston still.”

“Speaking of that, how did you buy a ticket?”

“Aunt Joyce had left me a gift card. She just left put the period at the right place, they thought it had $25.00, it actually had $2500.”

“Wow.”

“Yes wow. She is amazing. She put all of the money that Ira and Sheila gave her when I lived here into an account, so I am much more secure than I ever imagined. I got access to some other money too. “

“That’s great.”

“I guess.” There was pregnant pause.

“So what have you been doing?”

“Reading, laundry…not much.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You could help me make the bed if you want.” Tara looked at Willow in a flirtatious manner.

Despite her headache, this seemed like a great thing to do. Tara…bedroom…clean sheets…the opportunities were endless.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 9-7-11)
PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 6:01 pm 
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Dibs! My first one. And I am so excited it was on this story. This is one of my favorites.

I'm glad that Willow's sickness was only due to withdrawls, nothing more serious. However, it also shows that she isn't as smart as she thinks she is. I am sure that she was told more than once, what would happen if she were to stop her meds "cold turkey." Seems like she still thinks she knows better than anyone else, sometimes.

I am also glad Willow is willing to be honest with both Joyce, about her sickness, and Tara about her insecurities relating to their relationship. I was a little surprised Tara didn't try to talk to Willow more about this and address her own insecurities she was having as well. Instead they kinda just moved on to the topic of her trip back to CA and then a little flirty moment related to bedmaking.

These two are like a rollercoaster in the dark, lots of twists, turns, drops and flips, you just never can see whats coming next. Keep up the great work. I hope your become a routine updater.......they're my favorite. :pray I have less story abandoment issues that way.

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Willow: "I found you. I will always find you."


Remodeling: The Reconstruction of Tara Maclay / W/T Potpourri


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 9-7-11)
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 4:17 am 
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Yay for excellent update-y goodness... I'm really glad that Willow's sickness wasn't too serious... I truly hope that Tara shows during the bedmaking episode that Willow truly is her one-and-only-girlfriend... I kinda hope that the bedmaking episode also leads to start of the regular snuggle therapy...

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 9-7-11)
PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 10:34 pm 
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So, here we go again with more awkwardness. I kinda can't wait to see Tara's POV here. She was very quiet and all with the not wanting to voice her opinion. Then they change the subject without even really addressing the whole, "I don't know if my girlfriend still wants me" issue. That's worrisome and then add Willow's little "I'm a loser" pity party and Tara's head must absolutely be swimming.

Now I'm getting "anxious" waiting for the next update, lol.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 10/1/11
PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:21 pm 
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True Love: Keep on riding the coaster, there are a few more twists and turns to come.
Zampsa19752001: There is snuggle therapy, but not the kind you’d expect…
Finey_McFine: Pity party and unsaid comments. Isn’t that what late adolescence is full of.

Title: Meeting Expectations
Author: TaranWillow4Ever
Rating: PG-R
Disclaimer: Josh owns all of the characters, I just imagine other lives for them.
Spoilers: None
Feedback: Please
Thoughts in italics.

Note: I play with POV in this story.

Note: This story contains elements of abuse - physical and emotional, that are either eluded to if not outright described. If anything of this sort bothers you, then please do not read this story


Part 69

Willow walked into the room, took one look at the bed, pointed and said in a husky voice, “there is exactly where I want you, NOW.” The redhead came toward Tara and lifted her shirt over her head.

Tara was amazed at the level of assertiveness coming from her girlfriend, and she felt that she would have to acquiesce to the smaller girl’s desires.

“I thought you were sick, what did the doctor say?”asked Tara as she backed up into the room.

“I am fine.” Said the girl as she began unbuttoning her shirt, and walking toward Tara.

“But the sheets aren’t even on the bed. “

“Who needs sheets? They will just get dirty,” said Willow in the same sultry, husky voice, as she took off her own shirt and then pushed the taller girl onto the bed and straddled her.

Tara could feel the wetness pooling in her panties. She had waited so long, and now it seemed like it was finally going to happen. She was finally going to make love to and with her girlfriend. The smaller girl was above her, looking at Tara with longing. Willow’s mouth took Tara’s with a ferocity that surprised the older girl. Tara could feel Willow’s knee begin to grind into her center, and her hands grasped Tara’s own, and their breasts collided in a similar way to their tongues. Tara could feel her nipples against the smooth skin of her girlfriend’s. She hadn’t known that they could be so sensitive. Tara felt as though every nerve in her body was on fire. It was an electrical feeling. As Tara was examining this sensation, she felt one of Willow’s hands unclasp her hand, and move to touch and almost pinch her tender nipple.

“You are so soft and beautiful” muttered the redhead, as she moved herself beside Tara and began using her mouth to pleasure one of her nipples and her hand the other. Tara tried to relax into the sensations, and not to analyze them. Several times, Tara tried to mirror the girl’s ministrations, but was answered by a whispered, “just relax and let me…”

Tara felt her girlfriend’s hand slip under her pants, and into her wetness. “You are so wet!” muttered the girl, as she moved her fingers around her sensitive knub. Tara moved her hips to make the girl touch the swollen pearl, and she knew that in a moment she was going to feel her girlfriend inside her…

Tara awoke to a knocking on the door. This jerked her up and she went to the door. Willow looked her up and down and Tara felt the residual tingling that was left over from the dream. get your hormones in check Maclay. She may be sick “So I saw you left, did you go to the doctor? Are you ok? It is not your heart is it? Are you sick?”

Willow put her finger on Tara’s lips. “Yes I went to the doctor, no I am not sick. I just have a killer headache and feel sick to my stomach, but the doctor said that I will feel better in a day or two. Do you mind if I sit down, I still am feeling kind of lightheaded from the headache.”

“Of course. Tara led Willow to the couch and sat down next to her. Tara’s nerves remained enervated, and Tara had trouble formulating the appropriate sentences.

“So what is wrong?”

Willow blushed. “It’s all my own fault. I am a chemistry major for the goddesses sake, I should have figured it out myself. Well, I am a chemist not a pharmacologist, but still, it was so stupid.” she is blushing, she is so cute…I wonder where else she blushes…head out of the gutter. She’s talking.

“What?” said Tara, hoping that it was an appropriate question.

“I went cold turkey off my meds. I didn’t think they were doing anything, so I didn’t think it would affect me at all. Well, I was wrong.”

“Well, at least they could do something about it, right?”

“Yes,” Willow sneered, “but it involves me having to still take the stupid pills. I hate pills. I am NOT depressed or anxious.”

“If you say so.” Said Tara subvocally.

“What did you say?” said Willow

“Nothing.” note to self, she does not think that she is anxious

“You said something.” .

“I did, but maybe I shouldn’t have…I am sorry.”

Willow took a deep breath, “No, really I want to know what you said.”

“No you don’t”

“Yes, I do.” Willow looked deep into Tara’s eyes. “I always want to know what you think and say.”

“It was sarcastic.”

“All the better.”

“I just said, ‘if you say so.’”

“So you think I am depressed and anxious. Do I look depressed to you. No wait, don’t answer that, I know I look like shit. “

“It wasn’t the depression I was responding to. “

“You think I am anxious?”

“A little…” said Tara quietly.

“Ok,maybe a little anxious. But I have things to be anxious about. I don’t know if I’ll get back into school. I don’t know if my parents are going to track me down. I don’t know if my girlfriend still wants to be with me or what she is expecting from this relationship.”

she’s confused too. “You honestly don’t know that I want to be with you? And I have NO expectations, hopes maybe, but expectations, no.”

Willow looked sad. “I…I.. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just feel so messed up, and I don’t know why someone as beautiful and great as you would want to be around a loser like me. I can’t even run away right. I end up having to go to the doctors within 3 days. What if Aunt Joyce had given them my insurance, Sheila and Ira would be on the doorstep within days.”

“She didn’t did she?” asked Tara. I can’t imagine losing her again.

“Nope, paid in cash, well actually credit card, but same thing. No paper trail.”

“You know that they are eventually going to find you, right?”

“Well, they won’t find out from McLean, I threatened to sue them for HIPPA violations if they told. And Aunt Joyce promised that she would not confirm that I was here. So it might take awhile. Plus they don’t know that I had some money. They probably think I am around Boston still.”

“Speaking of that, how did you buy a ticket?”

“Aunt Joyce had left me a gift card. She just left put the period at the right place, they thought it had $25.00, it actually had $2500.”

“Wow.”

“Yes wow. She is amazing. She put all of the money that Ira and Sheila gave her when I lived here into an account, so I am much more secure than I ever imagined. I got access to some other money too. “

“That’s great.”

“I guess.” There was pregnant pause.

“So what have you been doing?”

“Reading, laundry…not much.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You could help me make the bed if you want.” Shit, I can’t believe I said that

Tara saw Willow’s eyes flash. She stood up, but then immediately sat back down.
“I would love too, but my head is still sort of spinning. You just do what you want, ok? Maybe I should go back home. The doc said I’d feel better by Monday.” Willow started to get up again.

“Don’t go.” sound desperate enough? Get a grip. “W…w..we could just hang here. Watch a movie…or you could rest and I read. It’s so nice having you here…”

Willow sat back down. That would be nice. Tara sat down next to Willow, and Willow put her head on Tara’s lap, and Tara messed with her hair until Willow fell asleep.

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Atlantic Antics

Meeting Expectations


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 10/1/11)
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 2:41 am 
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Yay for great update-y goodness... I'm glad that Willow told Tara about the doctor's visit and Joyce's role in Willow's escape... Extra big yay for Tara having courage to ask Willow to stay...

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 10/1/11)
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 3:17 pm 
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Great to see Tara's POV. Can't wait till the next update to see where the story takes us next.

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Tara: " I got so lost."
Willow: "I found you. I will always find you."


Remodeling: The Reconstruction of Tara Maclay / W/T Potpourri


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 10/1/11)
PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:51 pm 
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So Tara is having hot lusty dreams about Willow...nice! I was a little worried after the last chapter and not knowing exactly what was going on in her head, but I feel much more at ease after seeing things from her POV. She seriously seems to want Willow, but is not exactly sure how to go about moving things along.

I really feel like they still have a ways to go, but I think they will eventually get there. Once Willow gets settled into her new life and they get to 'really' know each other without outside interference, they will be much more comfortable and we'll get to see some serious...:wtkiss !!

Lovely update...looking forward to more:-)

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Shelby - Racing The Rain (IN PROGRESS) / Baby Makes Three (IN PROGRESS) / The Santa Line / Everything She Does...Is Beautiful / Calfornia Grass

"Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get over it."
~Willow, Where The Wild Things Are


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 10/1/11)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 1:08 am 
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Wow,

What an intense story!

The therapy sessions, the evasiveness and denial, the lies and self-destructive behavior was all so clear and believable. Several updates later I read your note that you work with troubled teens - yeah, there's a reason this story rings true!

Then later Tara deals with the fear of having a real relationship with an available partner; total fear of intimacy - spot on accurate!

This story is simply written and very powerful - PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE update soon! :pray :pray :pray :pray :pray

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 10/1/11)
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 2:26 pm 
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I finished reading all of this in one sitting and have been checking for updates regularly; absolutely amazing. Needs updates!


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 10/1/11)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:17 am 
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I just started reading this fic. It has made me laugh and cry already. Tara has faced her past...but what about Willow? Will she ever have to confront that Carley bitch? Why doesn't Willow seem at all concerned that Carley could have done something similar to another young girl? Just saying...

Please update soon.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 10/1/11)
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:20 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:33 pm
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Location: North Carolina, USA
Zampsa: Always can count on your feedback thanks.

True Love: Sorry you had to wait so long. I hope this is worth it. I worry that it has got some meandering.

Finey_McFine: Thanks for the support. I think that this is not going to go as fast as people would want, but with LOTS of thinking, I just feel that they’ve got some more work to do.

Ariel: Sorry that you asked me to update right after the last major Christian Holiday, and now this one is coming after the next major one. Thanks for saying it rings true.

ShesaGoddess: Hope you are still sticking around and you find the wait worth it.

Fhiwda: You will have to see how Willow deals with her demons, Tara’s got some more to do too. I don’t think Willow is able to ponder yet if she is just one of many victims of Carley. We will have to see if it comes into her awareness. I’ll definitely put it in the idea hopper. Hope this was worth the wait.

Sorry for the l…o…n…g hiatus. I think my muse picked up and moved to Antarctica. I just have not wanted to write. I bought a new computer after mine was fed a large cup of hot chocolate and then a cup of water by my kids (without my knowledge until I tried to turn it on, picked it up and it had chocolate under it)
I haven’t really known where I want to go with this. I have a lot already worked out, but how to get from here to there is not clear. But here is a beginning.


Part 70

Willow woke up to find herself on Tara’s couch covered with a soft blanket. She blinked and looked around wondering at first where she was, and then once she determined the answer to that question she wondered where was Tara. She sat up and looked around the apartment. The door to Tara’s bedroom was open and it did not appear that anyone was in there. Willow got up and walked to the bathroom. That room as well was vacant. Willow was turning around to find her shoes and go back to Joyce’s house when Tara came up the stairs with a basket of folded clothes.

“Did I wake you up when I left? I tried to be very quiet.”

“I don’t think so. How long have you been gone?”

“Maybe five minutes… I was reading and you were sleeping, and you seemed so asleep I figured you wouldn’t be able to tell if I went downstairs for a few moments. I guess I was wrong” Tara gave Willow her trademark smile which lit up Willow’s face as well.

“How is your headache?”

“Still here, but a bit more manageable…the room didn’t spin as badly when I got up and I don’t feel like I am going to toss my cookies anytime soon.”

“That is good to hear. When again did they say you would be feeling better?”

“A day or two…I still can’t believe that this is just a med withdrawal reaction. I feel like shit.” Willow sensed Tara recoil a bit at her vocabulary, “sorry, I’ve been around a lot of cursing. I will try to tone it down.”

“It’s ok,” said Tara in a not so believable tone.

“No it is not. I have an excellent vocabulary” as Sheila always said,” I don’t have to resort to vulgarities.”

Tara laughed, “That sounds like your mom.”

“Whenever she said that, I had the urge to tell her to fuck off.”

“I can understand that. I…I… I just try not to curse much because I don’t want to accidently let one slip at work. I can just hear little Jimmy or Susie, Ms. Maclay taught me a new work…it sounded like… fill in the blank.”

“Not a pretty picture eh?”

“Nope.”

Willow sat down and looked around Tara’s apartment again. “You’ve really made this homey. I still can’t believe that you are living with Aunt Joyce. Tell me again how that happened?

“Well… Do you remember when you were in the hospital?”

“Some of it. I definitely remember that I didn’t get to say goodbye to you. That my bitch of a mother “forbid” you to see me, Aunt Joyce too.”

“Well, around that time, Joyce was talking about moving and wanted to know if I’d be interested in renting the “mother-in-law apartment” in the house that she wanted to move to. She figured that it would be helpful for you if we were closer to your school. Of course, we had no idea that Sheila and Ira were going to basically kidnap you.

“I tried to convince some of the people at the programs and hospitals that I’d been kidnapped, but the party line was that you could not be kidnapped by your own guardians.”

“So, how bad was it?”

“What exactly do you want to know?”
“Whatever you want to tell me…were the staff nice? Did they take good care of you? Did you make any friends?” asked Tara.

“Um…yes they were nice, they took good enough care of me that I didn’t have any more heart attacks, and I started eating better. I made a couple of what they call “associates”, ‘friend’ is a loaded word in treatment there, but there were some kids I got along with both in the hospital program and the residential program. I might keep in touch with a few of them. We were not supposed to give each other our addresses, but that doesn’t happen. Everyone ends up knowing everyone else’s business.”

“Tell me about some of the friends.” Willow wondered why Tara was interested in all of this, but if she was, she’d comply.

“Well, there was this kid named Tony in the hospital part of the program. He was super gay and the staff just did not know what to do with us when we’d get together. The staff were always trying to get him to act more masculine and me more feminine. They took away my hoodies, can you believe that? They said that I was hiding in them. Made me wear these girly sweaters and sweatshirts. Ugh! I had to keep on talking to this stupid psychiatrist who couldn’t understand that I didn’t want to be a dude despite the way I liked to dress.”

“That must have sucked! How did you hide your food without your hoodie?”

“I was trying really hard not to do that anymore. I can’t believe that you remember that.”

“I think I remember everything about those first couple of days. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

“Really? “ asked Willow incredulously.

“Really. I still can’t.”

Willow blushed. “feeling is mutual. I still can’t believe that you are here. I thought I’d have to go searching for you. I was hoping that maybe Joyce would have an idea seeing that you two got a long so well with each other, but I NEVER even imagined that you’d be here too…It is just amazing. But I got to admit that it totally sucks that I feel like shit. The room is starting to spin again. Willow lay back on the futon couch she was sitting on. I think that I have to go back to my nice dark room again. I am really sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, everything happens for a reason. I guess you needed the lesson that even you are not THAT smart.”

“Funny. Ha Ha.” Willow put on her shoes and went back to Joyce’s house.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 4/12/12)
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:27 pm 
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Dibs :whip

Yay! I can't believe you're back! I have been waiting so long for this story to continue. I hope that you are just getting your groove back and we will be seeing a lot more you. Did you know that you helped to inspire my story? Did you even know I had a story? If not, I do, and it's partly because of this little gem and your bravery in bringing up the subject matter. Enough babbling. Sorry, I'm just so excited.

I wished the update was a little longer, but I'll take what I can get. I really wanted the girls to get to the heart of things that matter between them. It sucks that Willow is still sick. Hopefully, by the next update she'll be bact to her Willow-y ways and the girls can have a nice long chat alone and get back to what really matters -- them and lots of smoochies to make all the hurt go away.

Keep writing and know that I will be waiting patiently, well kinda patiently, for your next installment.


Last edited by True_Love on Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 4/12/12)
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:33 pm 
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Dibs! (nope nevermind True_Love beat me too it :P) And...erm Hi! :bigwave

So glad to see you are still updating this story. I read the entire thing a while back but forgot to leave feedback :( Some parts were very hard to read, touching to close on some of my own issues from my teenage years (though thank the gods nothing this severe). You write a very real and very emotional piece and it is quite beautiful. Hope to see an update again soon!

~Leo


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 4/12/12)
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:58 pm 
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11. Fish in the Bowl

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Wow!!!!

Update! :bounce :party :eatme :pinky

And yes, I shamelessly want MORE!!! :pray

So I'll beg, shout, whine, grovel etc. Whatever it takes!

Thanks,

Ariel


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 4/12/12)
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 9:21 am 
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Yay for excellent update-y goodness... I truly hope that Willow gets better soon so she can smootchies and snugglies with Tara and work out where they stand in the relationship... I kinda hope that Willow very soon moves in with Tara so that they can have long private talk without interruptions...

PS: I really hope you muse doesn't soon go on a long world tour... :-p


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 4/12/12)
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 1:51 pm 
Online
6. Sassy Eggs

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Zampsa: It shouldn't be that long of a tour now that I've started again.

Ariel: Your groveling works.

Leos_pride: Thanks for posting, glad you like it. Honorary dibs to you.

True Love: I love your story. Glad I inspired you. I re-read it over the course of the last few days. Hope you enjoy.


Part 71

“So how do you feel about Willow just showing up on Joyce’s doorstep?” asked Tara’s therapist.

Tara wasn’t sure that she was going to keep her regularly scheduled therapy appointment. She had wanted to rush home to find out how Willow’s trip to the university had gone, but she knew that if she didn’t take care of herself, then she couldn’t be there to support Willow.

“Happy. I am really happy that I know where she is. Relieved, I am relieved that she is alright…Excited because this is what I’ve been dreaming of…”

“I sense that there are other feelings you are having which you are reluctant to acknowledge.”

How does she see though me so easily? Shit. Tara was silent despite her acknowledgement that her therapist was right. There were a myriad of feelings coursing through her but she felt badly about some of them. “I don’t know…”

“Cop out. ‘I don’t know’ means ‘I don’t want to say’”

“I know you believe that,” said Tara feeling defensive, “but there are so many things I am feeling, it is hard to figure out what I am feeling exactly.”

“Well, tell me some of your thoughts, and then maybe we can figure out the associated feelings.”

“Well, I wonder why she didn’t call Joyce to tell us she was coming.”

“Us, she didn’t even know that you were living with Joyce did she?”

“No, ok, she didn’t even call Joyce; she just landed on her doorstep. What if she hadn’t been home? What if she had gone on a business trip or something…she could have been stuck here with no one? “

“I guess that is true, but it didn’t happen. Why are you upset that it was a surprise?”

“Um…I just wish that I had been more prepared. I feel like this all has hit me at once and I don’t know what to do? I don’t know what to say, I don’t know where we stand?” she paused, “I feel out of control. If she had warned us, then I could have been more in control. Happy? I admitted it, it is about control.”

Tara practically spit out these words. Control had been a big focus of her therapy since she’d been coming to her therapist. Tara didn’t like to admit that she had control issues. To her, the idea of wanting to be in control had negative connotations; it made her think of her belief that her father always had to be in control. Her therapist had tried to help her realize that there were many different kinds of control, and wanting to be in personal control was different than wanting to control people, but it still left a bad taste in her mouth.

“So if you had known, how would it be different right now?”

“I don’t know that it would have been different. I just feel like I would have been better prepared… Honestly, wasn’t sure that I’d ever see Willow again, and if I did, I wasn’t sure if she’d still be interested in being in a relationship with me. I had sort of convinced myself that it just wasn’t going to happen. I was trying to work my head around to ‘getting my life going’ and now it is…

‘Is what?

“The real thing.” Tara was silent for a few moments. Her therapist looked expectantly toward her and finally asked the question.

“What do you mean?. The real thing.”

“I mean…It is not that I didn’t think our relationship was real before, but there was always something ‘artificial’ about it. It was always sneaking away, or visits. It was more dreamlike. We talked about the future and when we’d live together, but I didn’t expect it to really happen.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. It has been my fantasy for the past four years, but I didn’t really think it was going to be reality, and I certainly did not think that we’d be basically living together. I thought that she’d maybe come back to visit. I know that Joyce had made the house so that Willow could live there. But I didn’t really think it was going to happen and now that it is, I don’t know what to do? I am terrified of screwing it up. It was a lot safer in my fantasy than it is in reality.”

“Isn’t that always the case? Is she doing or saying anything that gives you the feeling that you are screwing up or that she is not happy?”

“No she seems really happy, aside from being sick from going off her meds cold turkey”

“OOO, that is usually not a pretty picture.”

“It’s like she’s just trying to pick up from where we left off, and I…”

“You…”

“I just don’t know if I am ready to just proceed.”

“Proceed from what?”

“The relationship.”

“You don’t know if you want to be with her?”

“No, I want to be in a relationship, I just am worried about BEING with her…you know what I mean.” Tara blushed.

“You are worried about the physical and sexual aspects of your relationship.”

“Yeah, the last time we tried to be…you know…um…”

“Intimate, sexual?”

“Let’s say ‘intimate’, it didn’t go well…um… Remember I told you, the first time, I sort of freaked out, and the second time she did. I am scared out of my mind. I gotta admit that wasn’t so upset about her being sick, not that I wanted her to be sick, but it made it easier. I didn’t have to deal with it…”

“Have you talked about it?”

“No.”

“Do you think you should?”

“I guess.”

“Do you want to practice what you want to say?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure. I just need to sit down and talk to her about where her head is, what she wants, what she expects.”

“I bet it will go better than you think. I bet she has similar worries. Just to think. At least you sort of had an idea that if she came, you’d be living next door. She had NO idea that by coming to Joyce’s that she’d be living with you too.”

“That is true. Well, speaking of that, I gotta get going. I want to hear what the school said to her about returning to classes. I hope they are going to let her.”

“All you can do is support her.”

“I know.”

Tara gave the therapist a check and then left the office to catch the bus home.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 4/12/12)
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:24 pm 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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Dibs :whip

Woo Hoo Dibs twice in a row! Amazingly fast updates. Thanks for that. I'm glad to know that Tara has a therapist that she can talk through her frustrations and concerns with. I think she was so wrapped up in what she thought about everything she forgot to think about what Willow might be going through as well. Also, as she was talking about not being prepared I remember reading back in the story when she was in the original 'facility' where she met Willow, she talked to the Dr. there about not being happy about being brought in for a session when it wasn't scheduled. She didn't like surprises. It seems this part of her personality still remains somewhat the same. I wonder if she will ever learn to be more flexible or this rigidity will remain with her.

Great update. Can't wait for and more!


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 Post subject: Re: New Fiction: Meeting Expectations (updated 4/12/12)
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 5:35 pm 
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Nice! Two awesome back to back updates, I guess I'd better hurry and leave fb before you update again!

OK, so the girls are talking, although somewhat awkwardly at times, but they are communicating and desperately trying to reconnect. It's clear that they care for each other, but they need to take it slow and have 'the talk,' just as the Dr suggested. I think they both have similar questions, so the sooner they get everything out in the open, the better. Tara's issues with control will probably plague her for the rest of her life, but as long as she is aware that it's a problem, perhaps she'll become more flexible and able to deal with surprises better.

Very nice! I'm hoping you're back on track:)

~Shelby


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W/T Love 24/7 since July 2000
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