Hello.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon. Shame.
Summary. Set at the beginning of 'Tabula Rasa'.
Notes: Please be nice
Part 1:
“I'm gonna go get that phone, you probably don't hear it, high pitched ring, ears like a dog.” Xander babbled. “I'm gonna help you with that.” Anya echoed, following him into the bedroom.
Silence. Why had Tara snapped, it wasn't like her? She didn't....no, she couldn't know.
“Do you think I'm stupid? I know you used that spell on me.”
Shit.
“Tara I...I'm sorry I didn't mean to-”
“To what?! Violate my mind like that? How could you Willow, how could you after what Glory did to me.
“Violate you? I didn't mean anything like that I just wanted us not to fight any more...I love you.
“If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight, you don't use magic to make a fight disappear.”
Willow sighed and closed her eyes. It was all just to much. Buffy, Tara, she had made so many mistakes, hurt the people she loved. She tried to talk, but there was nothing she could say. She stood up to leave but was halted by Tara's unfamiliar angry voice.
“What? You're just going to leave, no explanation?”
She turned around slowly, and felt tears well up in her eyes.
“I'm sorry.” She whispered slowly. “I'm sorry that I brought Buffy back, that I took her out of heaven, and I'm sorry that I did what I did to you. But what am I supposed to do? I was only trying to make things better.”
“By putting a spell on me? Willow it's me...what were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I can't really take much more, okay? Buffy's miserable; she's miserable and it's my fault and I don't know what to do. And you and I were- are the only good thing and then you started to go against me and-”
“Will I never went against you, I was worried about you, I still am.”
“But you don't need to worry about me, I can handle it.”
“No one can handle it Willow, you're going to end up hurting yourself, and you've already hurt me.”
The words pierced her heart as Tara said them. A single tear spilled from her eyelid and slid down her face. She felt sick, she felt dizzy, and then suddenly she felt angry.
“You don't even get it do you? Magic is what brought you back after what Glory did, I brought you back. You don't seem to mind when it's protecting us and helping us.”
“Willow there's a fine line between using magic to do what can't be done and using it because you can't be bothered to do what can be.”
“You put a spell on me, remember, on all of us”
“Willow that was...I was scared and-”
“And I forgave you. I didn't hold it against you, I never even brought it up again until just now. Why do you have to be like this why can't you just support me?”
“I do support you, I love you more than anything Willow. But I'm terrified of what's going to happen to you if you don't get a grip.”
Willow looked down at the floor, defeated, she suddenly felt cold and wrapped her red cardigan a little more around herself. She could hear Tara breathing rapidly, but neither of them moved towards the other.
“Willow”, Tara began eventually, “Please, I'm just so scared of something happening to you. I love you so much.”
Willow's heart broke as Tara began to cry. She wanted to rush towards her, she wanted to hold her, but she didn't. Instead she turned slowly and walked out of Xander's apartment, lingering outside the door long enough to see if Tara would follow. She didn't.
“I think Willow just left.” Anya whispered, her body pressed against the door.
“Honey come on, give them a little privacy.” Xander replied from his spot on the bed.
“I couldn't hear much anyway, damn these walls. I'm gonna go see if Tara;s okay.”
“Ahn...Ahn don't just-”
His protests were ignored as Anya emerged from the bedroom. He followed her quickly and they both saw Tara sitting back in her seat at the table, with her head in her hands.
“Tara, you okay?” Anya asked tentatively.
She looked up at them, and bit her lip slightly to try and stop crying.
“Not really,” she replied hoarsely
“Where's Will?” Xander asked.
“She left.”
“She just walked out on you?” Anya asked incredulously.
Tara nodded.
“Look guys, Willow's got a lot on her mind right now, maybe we should give her a break-” Xander began.
“She put a spell on me.”
“She what?” Xander asked seriously.
“We had a fight, about how much magic she was using, so she made me forget it”.
“Wow, talk about ironic.”
“Anya!” Xander chastised.
“Tara, do you want to stay with us? Or we can go look for her?” Anya suggested.
“No”, Xander replied. I'll go look, you guys wait here. I'll find her Tara.”
T.B.C