wow okay so I was rummaging through my old files and found this so I thought I'd post it! I wrote it when I was about fourteenish so please don't throw tomatoes at me.
Title: A Willow Tree
Author: Belli Bear aka Bell aka moi
Summary: A lost stranger follows wisps of memory from a runaway dream
Somewhere there is a hill and on that hill grows a willow tree.
Its strong roots are planted firmly in the ground. Nothing could ever move it from its place. Its thick, crusty trunk is comforting in the strangest of ways. Looking wise and protective it sways to the whispers of the gentle wind.
In its cryptic breeze memories are muttered, of a time less sad, a love not yet stole.
I am you know
Yours
No Candles? Well I brought one. It’s extra flamey
She’s my girl, ya know?
You hear that baby…you’re my always
Willow, I got so lost
I found you…
I will always find you
You go past the wind and its murmuring reminiscences and you can see the natural brilliance of the Willow and its emerald green leaves. Alone they’re so small but together so strong. They block out the unforgiving sun only letting small shards of its light pass.
You follow a shard through the green canopy of foliage and you see it.
A small marble stone
Its words seeming simple speak more than rooms of knowledge ever could.
“
she was loved”
The small frame of a frail woman enters the scene. You first think of her as an intruder but this is her space, her love, not yours. Small curls of fiery red fly past her eyes as the wind picks up, seemingly urged on by her presence.
Her eyes. They look so cold. No, not cold. Empty. And you think you understand even for a brief moment what true pain really is. They are green, emerald green and you think back to the leaves. ‘Willow’ you dare to let a small smile cross your lips as the beautiful name enters your mind. It suits her well, alone she’s so small but together so strong.
She’ll never be strong again.
Your smile disappears as the now cold wind blows around you
So much love use to live in her face, love that was blasted away; staining her shirt. Staining her skin. Staining her.
Now you feel like the intruder. You’re not welcome here but as you turn to walk away from the somewhere you got to, her whispered words stop you…
“I’m running out of rocks, love.”
You look further past the figure, and you see them. So many rocks, all neatly, lovingly, arranged around the marble block. You start to think how many times she must’ve come here. How many times the pain forced its way back in.
And in that one moment your feelings are finally granted the release they have been aching for.
You cry.
It’s a cry of anguish.
How could this be allowed to happen?
It’s a cry of frustration.
Why did it seem as if you belonged there all along?
It’s a cry of final pain.
Pain and the sickening realization of how much more the frail figure would feel at this loss. At this sheer absence. So complete before, her elfin features glowed as she merrily skipped with love by her side. Now incomplete, entirely alone she’s forced to walk alone with numbing pain attached to the souls of her tired feet.
She turns around at your cry and in the split second before everything blurs you see the tears you hate that she cries.
Sweat soaked you wake, damp blonde hair suffocates your gasps. After recovering and wiping away the stray tears you pray a silent prayer of thanks to the Gods for sparing you this pain. Haunted by your visions you sit in the darkness of your room trying to figure out who this person was and why you found her so familiar.
But the dreams all a blur now…
*****
Willow turned around and shivered. She heard the whispers of an eerie scream fill the air, was that…no.. she was alone. She was alone. Yes, she was alone and it had never felt as cold as it did just then.
After a long while she turned back to the only thing she had left of her stolen love, she smiled. It wasn’t much, but the redhead knew one thing. She was loved too. Bending down she placed a kiss on the small marble message before picking a small willow leaf and walking away.
*****
You go on with your day but the dream still haunts you. The harder you think the less you remember. All you think you remember is feeling a deeper, more pronounced pain than ever before. Clearing your mind only one memory remains in it…
Somewhere there was a hill and on that hill grew a willow tree.
*****
11.15 to Sunnydale, that's the bus you're leaving now. But why are you here? So far from home.. Home? You don’t bother trying to answer yourself for your sure you don’t have a clue. All you can remember, all you can possibly hope to understand is that you hurt inside and the misplaced memory of this foreign place makes it all go away. But It's a place you've never been.,, or have you? Where are you even from?
"I can't find the new potential Buffy, Giles said she'd be here at 10"
Your eyes tear violently towards that voice and as the vehicle behind you leaves and the dream before you hangs up her phone you find yourself falling to your knees between the two, pulled down by something you can't hope to understand.
"Tara…?" Empty eyes blink at you and at once you see a million leaves tumble into their depths.
"I… I saw you cry by a Willow tree…"
And now you know, at last you know, she's not quite as alone as she was before. And neither are you.
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