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Title – A Demon’s Rage
Author – John Martin
Rating – R
Pairings – This is a Willow/Tara story, but it starts in the middle of Season 6 when they are broken up. It will be several chapters before Willow and Tara even kiss. There will also be some Anya/Xander, and maybe a tiny bit of Buffy/Spike.
Disclaimer – I do not own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I am writing this for fun, and not for profit.
Warnings – There will be angst. There will be cliffhangers at the end of chapters. There will be violence. There probably won’t be as much sex as some people want.
Feedback - Sure
Summary – Tara tells her story.
Chapter 3
Saturday, April 27, 2002
On Saturdays, Willow didn’t set her alarm clock. She woke when the sunlight came peeking through her window. The first thing she did upon waking, the first thing she always did, was to look around her room. She was alone. That made 171 nights in a row sleeping alone, without Tara.
Willow showered, dressed, and went downstairs. Buffy and Dawn were in the kitchen. Buffy was cooking.
“Scrambled eggs for breakfast,” said Buffy.
“And this time, I checked for little bits of egg shell,” said Dawn.
“Don’t listen to her,” said Buffy. “Her idea of breakfast was banana and marshmallow omelets.”
“I don’t think marshmallows in an omelet is a good idea,” said Willow. “Bananas might work though.”
“How about a banana and cheese omelet?” said Dawn.
“Make one tomorrow and I’ll help you eat it,” said Willow.
Buffy placed scrambled eggs and toast on three plates, and everyone sat down to eat. They talked between bites.
“Are we still having a Scoobie meeting?” asked Willow.
“Yes,” said Buffy. “Dawn, I’d like you to come.”
“I was going to hang with Janice today,” said Dawn.
“Dawn, I really need your help with the research. Xander left town after the wedding and he hasn’t come back yet. I asked Anya to come, but I don’t know if she will feel very researchy.”
“You’re really going to let me help with research? No, this is a trick. We’ll get to the Magic Box and then you’ll tell me to do my homework instead.”
“It’s not a trick. You can leave your schoolbooks here. We’re going to have a real Scoobie research-fest, you, me, Willow, and Tara.”
“Tara’s going to be there?” asked Willow. “I have to change clothes.”
“Tara’s not going to care what clothes you are wearing,” said Buffy.
“I’ll be right back.”
Willow rushed upstairs to her room and searched her dresser. Where was it? The pink sweater with the big yellow flower. The one that Tara gave her, months ago, before Willow messed everything up. There it was. Yes, it would go with the burgundy skirt she was already wearing. Quickly she put on the sweater.
“Will, are you ready?” called Buffy from downstairs.
“Just a minute,” Willow replied.
Willow brushed her teeth, and her hair. She came back down the stairs and asked “Do I look ok?”
Dawn smiled and said “You look fine.”
Buffy didn’t smile. She just said “Let’s go.”
It was a beautiful spring day, but Willow didn’t notice. All she could think of was Tara. She was going to see Tara.
When they got to the Magic Box, Tara was already there. Willow’s heart leapt at the sight. Tara was beautiful this morning. Tara was beautiful every morning. Not to mention every afternoon, every evening, and every night.
But something was wrong. Tara wore an old faded dress. She was looking down at the ground. She was sad. Why was Tara sad?
“Sorry we’re late,” said Buffy, as she unlocked the front door of the shop.
“That’s ok,” said Tara. “I only got here a couple of minutes ago.”
They all sat down in a circle around the table. Willow asked “What are we researching? The demon that Clem saw?”
“Yes,” said Buffy. “I ran into that demon last night. You were right, Will. The demon is a good guy, no, a good girl. She doesn’t want to be a demon. And I promised that we would help her.”
“So tell us all the details,” said Willow. “You see Dawn, the more we know about a demon, the easier it is to find it in the books.”
“You didn’t tell them,” said Tara.
“No, I didn’t,” said Buffy.
“Tell us what?” asked Dawn.
Willow had a sinking feeling in her stomach. Somehow she knew that something awful was about to happen.
“It all started Wednesday afternoon,” said Tara. “I was walking back to my room after class when I thought that I saw my father. For a moment, I was scared that he was going to try to take me away. Then I realized that it wasn’t my father. It was just another man who looked like him.
“So I started thinking about my father and my brother Donny and how they treated me. They wanted to control me. They wanted me to stay home and give up my life.”
“They lied to you,” said Willow.
“No, they didn’t,” said Tara. “After dinner, I got a phone call from Donny. He was talking about driving down to Sunnydale and picking me up. I asked him what on earth he was talking about. Donny told me that someone had told him that I was sick of college and wanted to come home. So Donny was planning to drive to Sunnydale and pick up me and all of my stuff.
“I got mad. I yelled at Donny. I told him that I wouldn’t live in the same house as him if it was the last house on earth. Then I hung up on him.”
“Good for you,” said Dawn.
“No, Dawnie, it wasn’t good,” said Tara. “Once I got angry, I couldn’t calm down. I kept thinking about how Dad and Donny had treated me. How they treated my mother.
“Willow, you remember when Joyce died? And Xander got so angry, he punched a hole in the wall with his fist. Well, I felt like that. I wanted to punch the wall.
“I was pacing in my room and getting madder and madder. Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I went outside. I thought that I would walk around the campus and it would help me calm down. But it didn’t.
“I was walking really fast. There was this guy in front of me on the sidewalk, walking slowly. He was a big guy, a football player maybe. I was mad because he was in my way. So I shoved him and he fell down.
“Part of me was saying, ‘What are you doing? Why did you shove him? You could have just walked around him.’ But another part of me wanted more, wanted to hit him, to really hurt him.
“The big guy got up. For a moment, I could see that he was angry, that he wanted to shove me back. But then his expression changed. I don’t know what he saw when he looked at me, but his face filled with fear. He turned and ran away.
“I wanted to chase him. I wanted to chase him down, and kill him. The feelings were so strong. It was all I could do to resist them.
“I looked around at the other students, walking to their night classes. I wanted to kill them. They had never done anything to me. But I wanted to kill them all.
“I was afraid that I would murder someone. So I ran. I ran away from the campus, away from all the people. I ended up on a dark, deserted street in downtown Sunnydale, at night.
“So of course a vampire attacked me. He walked right up to me and punched me in the face. But it didn’t hurt. He hit me again, harder. That hurt a little.
“I realized that here was something I could kill, something that deserved to die.
“I had all this anger, all this rage, built up inside me. I had been trying desperately to hold the anger back, but now I let it go. I yielded to my anger, and I changed. My skin turned yellow. My fingers became claws. I could feel my face shifting and my teeth growing.
Tara began to cry. “My father was right. My family was right all along. I’m an evil demon, just like they said.”
Willow couldn’t understand it. It wasn’t fair. Why did everything bad happen to Tara? First Glory steals her brain, and then her stupid girlfriend casts spells on her, and now this.
Willow watched as Dawn stood up and stepped towards Tara. Dawn tried to hug Tara. Tara flinched away, as if she didn’t want to be touched. But Dawn either didn’t notice, or didn’t care. She put her arms around Tara anyway.
That should be me. I should be the one holding Tara, comforting her. But I lost the right to do that. I was so stupid, I drove Tara away.
Am I jealous of Dawn? No, of course not. I’m glad that there’s someone to hug Tara. She deserves it. All I can do now to make Tara feel better is talk.
“Even if you are a demon,” said Willow, “You’re not evil. You can’t be.”
“Even if you are a demon,” said Buffy, “We’re still your friends.”
“Even if you are a demon,” said Dawn, “We still love you.”
“I… I don’t deserve this,” said Tara.
“Yes, you do,” said Willow. Before she could stop herself, Willow reached out and gave Tara’s hand a squeeze. Would Tara mind Willow touching her? Apparently not. Willow saw a smile struggling to appear on Tara’s face.
“What happened next?” asked Buffy.
“What?” said Tara.
“Your story. It was Wednesday night. A vampire attacked you. You went all demony. What happened next?”
Dawn returned to her chair, and the three girls listened as Tara continued.
“I hit the vampire, and he hit me. His blows barely hurt me, but my claws cut into him. I never could fight before, but now I was fighting a vampire and winning.”
“But that’s good,” said Dawn.
“No, it’s not good at all. When I hurt the vampire, it made me happy. When I heard him cry out in pain, I wanted to laugh.
“Don’t you see, Dawn? I took pleasure in another’s pain. I’m not me anymore.”
For a moment, no one said anything. Then Buffy said “If you’re killing vampires, you can’t feel sorry for them. They kill people. They need to die.”
“You’re right,” said Tara, “But it shouldn’t be fun to fight them.”
Tara went back to her story. “Soon I knocked the vampire unconscious. It was time to finish him off. I thrust one claw through the vampire’s chest and into his heart.
“It didn’t work. The vampire didn’t turn into dust. It took me a moment to realize my mistake. My claws were claws. They weren’t wood. To kill the vampire, I needed another way. I cut through the vampire’s neck with my claws. When his head came off, he turned to dust.
“Once the vampire was dead, I calmed down. My claws shrank back into fingers. I was human again. So I went back to my dorm room.
“The next morning, I woke up and said to myself ‘That couldn’t have happened. It must have been a dream.’
“So I went to class. The door to my classroom was locked, but I didn’t notice. I pulled on it, and when it didn’t open, I pulled harder. The door broke.”
“I’ve done that,” said Buffy. “I’ve accidentally broken locked doors.”
“Yeah,” said Tara. “Because you’re the Slayer and you’re really, really strong. And now I’m really strong too.
“You know what this means? I always have a demon’s strength. I look human now, but I’m really a demon all the time.”
“Oh God, Tara,” said Willow. “I’m so sorry.”
“So that morning,” said Tara, “I went to my classes. I tried not to touch anything; I didn’t want to break things.
“In the afternoon, things got worse. I got irritable and crabby. I got angry at little things, at things that didn’t matter. Late in the afternoon, I got angrier and angrier. And when the sun set, my urge to kill returned.
“So I dressed up in old sweat clothes. I ran through Sunnydale, pretending to be a jogger. Three times a vampire took the bait. Three times I grew claws and killed the vampire.”
Buffy said “Last night, I was wondering why you were dressed like that. Disguising yourself as a jogger, that’s a good plan.
“This is what we’re going to do. We’re going to hit the books and find out what kind of demon Tara’s turned into. And tonight, Tara, you aren’t going out by yourself to fight vampires.”
“Buffy, I have to. Otherwise I’ll hurt someone.”
“Tonight you and I are going out to fight vampires together. That way, you can watch my back, and I can watch yours. You’re our friend, and we are going to get you through this.”
Willow watched Tara’s face as she slowly began to smile.
“Thank you,” said Tara, as she looked at her three friends.
Then Tara turned to Willow, and her face became more serious. “Willow, can we go into the back room and talk? There’s something I need to tell you.”
Last edited by John Martin on Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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