Random Bits is another way to say short stories. So these will be short stories and such that I want to keep in one place. Hopefully this is the first of many…

Story Title – Missionary Position

Author – JustSkipIt

Pairing – T/W

Feedback – Yes, please

Spoilers – None

Rating – NC-17

Disclaimer – Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Willow and Tara and the Buffyverse. No copyright infringement is meant by this fic and I will not make any money from it.

Note – Yes, sometimes my very very strange mind comes up with amusing (or at least to me) scenarios and I have no place else to put them, nor do I want to expand them into a full-length work of fiction. This is one of those instances.

Note/Warning – It’s a little weird. It’s a little strange. And it may offend. It will probably offend. Enjoy. Or don’t…

Thanks – To my web-friend in smut for your patience and encouragement and endless listening.

Thanks - To Chris for the graphic.

I guess most people are kind of surprised when they find out that I’m enrolled at the State University and more so that I’m studying Electrical Engineering. I can’t say that math is my strongest subject but Daddy insisted on an Engineering major. He is paying the bills after all.

And of course Daddy is pretty much why people are surprised that I’m at school at all, living in the dormitory - a veritable den of heathens. I think that even Daddy’s mind, obsessed with sinning and salvation as it is, would revolt if he knew what a college dormitory is really like. He was right about sending me here to be confronted with sin and spread the message of Jesus’ love. I might have thought I’d seen some sin before but it’s not anything like here.

Not at all.

See, at our church, we concern ourselves most particularly with sin and salvation. You’d be surprised just how many people can turn themselves around if they just hear the message in the right way. I don’t even remember before Daddy started our church. Donnie does and he says we used to go to the big one in town when he was little, wearing a scratchy blue suit and sitting totally straight in the pew. But by the time I was wearing a ruffled dress, and sitting equally straight, Daddy and Granddaddy had started up their “Church of Salvation for all who Ask and Accept.” It’s a mouthful but it usually gets you in the door.

I’ve been knocking on doors with some assortment of my family, bringing hot casseroles to folks with a new baby or death in the family or some other tragedy or joy, welcoming new residents, and all that it entails for as long as I could walk. Our gifts always include a bible, a pamphlet about our church, an offer for prayer or guidance, and promises of friendship. And more than a few folks signed up quite willingly for what we had to offer.

I remember once, I hadn’t even started my own fall toward the sin of all women and my mother and I went over to visit a woman who’s father-in-law was in the hospital. The rest of the family was over at the hospital but this woman, who couldn’t have been more than 25 years old, was at home, doing her cleaning and putting up peaches for winter. Well, mama lunged right in tying on an apron and offering me to cut and pit too and I sat at a little Formica table doing just that with my eyes never leaving Mrs. Swanson. She was beautiful. The most beautiful person I’d ever seen, ever. Her hair shone and a thin strand kept falling down across her forehead and she would push it back and get flour on her cheek and I felt like my world was falling in around me but in a good way. I wanted to stay there with her and tell her all about Jesus and love and all that was good in the world. After a while we finished up helping her and Mama told her we’d pray for her family and then we sat down to pray at that Formica table. I could feel Mrs. Swanson’s hand so smooth in mine so I could hardly even concentrate on ridding us of our sin through prayer. When we left, she leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said what I pretty little girl I was.

Well, I’ve made girls and women, and their sin a special interest of mine ever since then.

And it’s an interest that Daddy encourages. Now I don’t mean to imply that he understands my methods particularly. Once I got into high school, I started up a group at school that met three times a week for bible study and I went into sports and cheerleading, year book, debate, every activity you could imagine to get acquainted with everyone I could meet. And pretty soon everyone knew me as the person who would listen to you about your troubles. Your boyfriend that cheated on you or hit you or wanted you to do things you didn’t want. I had answers and the answer was Jesus. Your parents were getting divorced? I had answers. You didn’t know what you wanted to do? I had answers. And I started to know who was who. What girls were sinners? Did they give in with their boyfriends? With boys who weren’t even their boyfriend?

Those girls were my particular interest. Daddy encouraged me to befriend those girls. To invite them to have a sleep-over or come to the lock-in at the church. Oh, I remember that first girl. We didn’t sleep all night. She knew ever so much about sin and her body and … I blush just thinking about it. I can’t say she came down to the revival to be baptized but she did give up running around with those boys after that. She also was a regular guest at my house for quite a few months and we both praised Jesus half-the night many times.

I don’t want you to think that I was using those girls. Worse yet, I don’t want you to think I was using Jesus on those girls. You know what I think I learned from church most? Everyone is looking for love and Jesus doesn’t judge. And those girls, those sinners, need love more than most. And sinners are particularly drawn to me, it seems. Those girls, wanting to rebel and live out their fantasies, confronted with someone so content in the love of the Lord? They flock to me and try to make me a trophy.

So that’s one of the two reasons Daddy lets me come to college here. He knows how I love to bring people to the love of Jesus Christ. And he was right about the number of sinners here. There’s girls with short skirts and short tops and belly button rings. Belly button rings? I met a girl last semester with her tongue pierced. I spotted her right off as a sinner looking for what I had to offer.

Speaking of which, why am I studying Engineering? Well for the other reason Daddy sent me to school: to find a husband. Engineering is an overwhelming male-dominated area of study and work. Finding those few girls studying it has been a challenge but we have the chance to … bond over our exclusion. Strangely, I haven’t found a boy to get serious about just yet which baffles Daddy but I told him I just keep trying.

And last month I found a new stronghold of the kind of girls I’m most interested in. There’s a campus Wicca group here. Wicca? Girls with more feeling for their female Goddess and other girls than Jesus himself? Now that is a place I’ve got to be. I spent a little while on the Internet learning the names of some Goddesses and terminology before going to the meeting. That was pretty much time wasted though because they just wanted to have a bake sale. There was one girl there, she wanted to do something different, spells she said. I only hope her “spells” are like my giving testimony and sharing love because she just blew away Mrs. Swanson and the girls from high school and Judith of the pierced tongue. I brushed by her as I was leaving and it was like electricity ran through my body. I practically ran back to my single room – Daddy was worried that a roommate would be too wild or drink or have boys over – to think about her and how I could bring her to Jesus.

And Jesus himself must be pleased with all of my hard work for him over the years because who should I see going into a Circuit Theory seminar which I took last semester but the spell girl from that meeting. So she’s an EE major as well. I set up in the courtyard with a cup of coffee and my books to study and kind of waited around. I glanced up when class let out and she kind of looked around with her backpack slung over her shoulders and then left the building. Oh well, I figured, maybe it would work on Thursday. I could give it a few days. Well, not ten minutes went by and I felt this tap on my shoulder. I looked up real slowly and there she was, red hair pulled back in a ponytail, green eyes sparkling.

“Didn’t I see you at the meeting the other day?”

I shoved my books to the side, over where my bible was sitting on the corner of the table. “I’m Tara. Yes, I was there.” She stuck her hand out and shook mine for a long time, kind of studying me and I saw her eyes flicker over to my bible.

“They want to have a bake sale.” Her eyes rolled up like she thought it was ridiculous. “Do you like sweets?” She was teasing me for sure about the bake sale and just teasing too.

I leaned back a little. “Were you going to offer me some candy because my parents always warned me about strangers with candy.”

She leaned close enough to put her hand on my hip which she did when she whispered in my ear. “Oh come on. I’m not that strange and I’m very sweet.”

I put my hand over hers to trap it close to me and kind of wrapped my fingers in hers. “But I don’t know your name so you’re a stranger.” I ran my fingertip up her arm. “Now maybe if you come see my dorm room I could find out your name and how you feel, you know the important information.”

She still hadn’t moved her hand from where it was on my hip and my fingertips were ranging higher and higher with every pass and I felt a shudder through her body. She leaned even closer and I thought she was going to whisper her name in my ear but she kind of nuzzled my chin with her nose, then bit me lightly on the ear lobe and sat back with a teasing look on her little face. She’d climbed up on my lap so she was kind of straddling me and I was having some thoughts about taking her back to my room when she took my pen out of my hand and leaned over to write on my notes, then pointed at it with her finger as she put the pen back in my hand. “Willow Rosenberg, Sophomore Electrical Engineering major, that’s my dorm room number and phone number. My roommate’s name is Buffy. I’m 5’4 and I have a test tomorrow morning that I have to go study for. If that’s enough information that I’m not a stranger anymore, maybe I could see you tomorrow evening?”

I still hadn’t taken my hand off her arm and even though she needed to study, I didn’t really want to. Rosenberg? So she was not only a Wiccan but a Jew as well? Daddy would put me through graduate school for my efforts with her. And I was pretty sure she was a sinner too. I tore a page from my notebook and wrote my name and room number on it. “You should go study. I’ll be out of class after 2:30 so you can come by anytime. Maybe I can give you my testimony.”

She cocked her head like she wasn’t sure exactly what I meant by that. “Is that what you’re calling it?” She laughed to herself and didn’t wait for my answer before she kind of skipped away.

I finished studying and called Daddy, emphasizing that she was Jewish and omitting most of the tone of the conversation. I figured out long ago, about the time I figured out some other things, that Daddy doesn’t need to know everything. Like he doesn’t need to know exactly how I like to give these girls my testimony and he doesn’t need to know that I will never meet that perfect boy. Why, he just can’t believe what animals all the boys here at school can be. I go out with a boy for a few months, a good Christian too, and then he starts wanting to pull me into sin, and I have to break up with him. Daddy says he remembers how young men can be and encourages me to be strong. So I haven’t found that perfect man yet but Daddy believes I’m still looking.

I stuck the piece of paper in my mirror when I got back to the room and then called her that evening. I thought I would just say hi and I hoped she did well on her test but we actually spent a good while on the phone. It turned out that I’d taken the same instructor and course last semester so before I knew it, I’d offered to meet her in the Union with my notes. It’s what Jesus would have done. I hope she did well on her test because we spent as much time flirting and getting to know each other as discussing Circuit Theory.

I do think she was a little surprised that I took my favorite Bible with me to study and that I prayed over our coffee and cookies and offered to pray with her that she do well on the test. I can’t tell whether she was genuinely asking Jesus for help or just indulging me. Maybe I can bring her in to accepting the love and forgiveness I know is there for her sinning ways.

I woke up to lead the Friday campus prayer circle. We had a bigger group than usual so maybe it’s working. We also had more hecklers than usual so maybe it was just the nice weather. One thing I have found in my time leading prayer circles? Those girls who want to argue against the teachings of the Lord most vociferously are usually open to my special ministry. That’s how I met Judith and her pierced tongue.

I was studying in my room with the window cracked open when there was a knock on my door. I finished the calculation I was on and then went to answer it and it was spell-girl herself. “How was your test?”

She kind of bounced on the balls of her feet and she was smiling the whole time. “Why don’t you invite me in and I can tell you about it?”

I did and she came in and sat down on the bed. I took my seat at my desk again, no reason to rush things when I hadn’t even told her about Jesus and how he died for her very sins. She did very well on the test which was apparent from even how she reviewed every question. I asked if she had a photographic memory and she admitted that she did. Well, we’d been talking about the test for a while and her stomach rumbled so she said did I want to go get some dinner and coffee, unless I didn’t drink coffee. I think she was teasing me but I can’t say for sure. On the other hand, we had coffee the night before so clearly she was teasing me.

We went to the Expresso Pump for sandwiches and coffee and a few friends of hers came in. The girl, Buffy is her roommate. She was wearing a short skirt like a real sinner but she wore a big cross around her neck. “I like your necklace. Are you a Christian?”

Buffy kind of squinted at me and then at Willow making me think that she’s not that bright. The guy, Alexander’s, eyes got really big and he sort of said all in a rush. “You’re Mission…?” Buffy hit him, very hard, so he stopped speaking and actually doubled over in pain. He must be really weak because she’s not that big. Well, Willow kind of apologized to me and excused herself to talk to them and they took their coffees to go.

“Sorry about that. They are really sweet and the best friends I could have but sometimes Xander doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.”

I asked if they had found the Lord which Willow seemed to consider a bit before telling me that she wasn’t sure. How could she not be sure? You sleep in the same room as a person for half a year or more and don’t know if she’s been saved? Maybe I can meet them again and tell them about how Jesus died for their sins.

Speaking of sins.

Willow and I finished our food and drinks and took another coffee to go. I said goodbye to Mrs. George as did she and we started walking back to my room. She was pretty antsy walking so maybe all this was new to her. I hoped not because she was … besides not having known the Lord yet and given her sin over to him, she was everything I wanted. I could just hardly wait to get her back to my room. I’d given her my testimony at the coffee shop and she seemed receptive. Maybe it would take a while but she seemed like the type that would be worth it.

She was looking kind of shy and nervous when we got back to my room so I asked if she wanted to come in and she said yes, kind of all breathy. Well I no sooner got the door opened and us in and door closed behind us and then her mouth was on mine and she was pushing me up against the door. Her hands started behind my neck but quickly ran down my arms and to my bottom and she was tugging me against her so I could hardly even think.

It took all my resolve and love of Jesus to pull her hands off my body and my own from the hem of her shirt where I was pulling it out of her jeans without even thinking about it and even more than that to push her away from me. Her look of shock and hurt wasn’t one I wanted to see again and I quickly grabbed her hand in mine and cupped her chin in my other hand.

“Will you pray with me, Willow?” She looked like she was going to say no and storm away and believe me, that’s happened plenty of times. But maybe she could see something in me that might be worth it just like I could see so much in her. She closed her eyes and nodded and I knelt in front of her and she knelt down too. I held her hands and right there asked Jesus to take her sin away from her. To save her with his love whether she was ready for it and not. I don’t think I’ve ever prayed so passionately or so fervently in my life but I wanted this for her so badly. Just the thought of her beautiful face, her beautiful body burning in a fire redder and hotter than her hair scared me like I’ve never been scared in my life.

I finished praying and said "amen" which she agreed to and "Jesus, in your name we pray" which she didn't. And she was still looking a little shocked at me but she smiled and asked was I done.

"Oh yes."

And then her hands were on me again and her lips too and her tongue was in my mouth and I didn't have to think about a thing. The thought flashed through my mind that maybe we'd be more comfortable on the bed but we were already on the floor and it wasn't that far to fall backwards and pull her on top of me. She was trying to grasp my ass again but the floor was in the way and she growled "Fuck it" and began to tug at my top, not even bothering about the buttons. Well, I wasn't having any such problem and her ass fit my palms so perfectly. I ran my hands lower on her legs and kind of pulled them apart so she was straddling me and I could press up into her center and she bit back a moan.

I hadn't even hardly noticed how she had all my buttons undone and was opening my shirt and palming my left breast and I almost screamed when she pinched the nipple so hard. Oh Sweet Lord Jesus. This was the girl of my dreams if she did it again. And again she did. I arched up into her hand and broke our kiss just long enough to look at her eyes which looked kind of animal and crazed. I bent her head to the side and bit along her neck and she screamed on one bite which would have made me shake if she weren't still pressing me to the floor. She reached back behind her under my skirt and pressed her hand right up against my panties which were soaked with my want for her and then she sat up and stared at me while she took that hand and slowly sniffed and then licked it while she took turns pinching my nipples with her other hand. For my part, I managed to get her jeans unbuttoned and unzipped and her shirt off her, and she wasn't wearing a bra. That sinner.

She leaned forward and let her small breasts brush my face before she started whispering in my ear. "Tara, do you scream Jesus' name when you come? Are you going to scream for me?" She was doing things to my breasts and nipples that practically had me screaming already and I wanted her inside me now. And I guess she did too because she stopped asking questions and slid down far enough to suck one nipple into her mouth and begin scraping it with the tip of her teeth. I could reach her nipples and began playing with them but mostly I was losing the ability to think at all beyond wanting her. I started to arch up from the floor and she pushed me back down with her body. "Stay right there, Tara. You're mine and I want to show you what that means." I could do nothing but whimper when she bit down on the other nipple. She still hadn't taken off my skirt but she did pull off my panties and toss them to the side and I could feel her twisting my hair around her fingertips.

"Yes, Willow, now."

She looked positively devilish as she teased me and I could hardly stand it. "Please. Please be inside me."

She licked her hand again and then winked. And then her fingers were in my mouth and they were wet with my juices and she was telling me that she wanted to hear me talk dirty. That she'd heard so much niceness and purity from me today and she wanted to hear what I really wanted.

"Please Willow, please be inside me."

"You'll have to do better than that." She stood up and pulled off her jeans and tossed them onto the pile of clothes in the corner. Then she was back between my legs, rubbing her cheek against me.

"Make love to me. I need you so badly." She shook her head. "Oh Jesus. I... I'm so wet, please." I reached for myself, thinking maybe I could show her just how badly I needed her but she captured my hand and pressed it to the floor.

"Oh no. None of that." She nipped at my clit with her teeth and I screamed. "Maybe another day you can touch yourself for me but right now I want you to convince me to fuck you."

I stiffened at her words. I'd never... I mean with all the women that had come before her, I'd never said such stuff even as I said now but... it felt good. I had to close my eyes and thoughts of her doing just that flashed across my mind. "Please, Willow." I was whispering.

And she started drumming her fingers on my leg like she was waiting for the timer to go off on Jeopardy. "You know what I'm waiting for, Tara. What do you want me to do? Would you like me to fuck you?"

"Yes. Please." I was practically crying from needing her so badly. I thought about trying to turn the tables on her but I knew I would get my chance.

She touched my clit with her tongue and then pulled away with a smile. "'Yes, please' is not going to do it, Tara, darling." She was teasing me now, playing with my opening and the sides of my clit but not giving me anything and I tried to move into her but she laughed as she twisted away from me. "You can do it. 'Please fuck me, Willow. Please fuck me.' Come on now, sweetie."

Every time she said that word I cringed but another part of me felt thrilled by it. I did want her to ... to do what she said. I tried to flip us over so that she would be under me but she held me down and giggled about it. "Here, I'll give you a preview." and what had to be only one finger was inside me. I moaned when she entered me and even more when she pulled out again.

"That was cruel...," I whimpered before wrapping my mouth and teeth around her nipple and biting down hard. She pressed her center into my leg and whimpered herself. She started grinding herself on my leg and I knew I could do this. I waited until she was good and distracted and then I got her attention. "Willow?"

"Oh... yes?"

"Will you pretty please with sugar on top..." (I was having trouble saying this all in one breath) "... fuck me so hard? Please Willow, fuck me." She must have not been expecting me to give in because it took her a second to get her fingers to me and then suddenly she thrust into me with what must have been three fingers. "Oh, Jesus. Yes!" I began to almost chant. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." And she did harder and harder.

And then we were both screaming and chanting and a steam of profanity like I'd never heard let alone said was pouring from my mouth like someone else was in control and she was answering with equally nasty language, telling me everything she was doing and how she was enjoying it and how I was enjoying it. She told me that I wasn't such a holy girl after all and a lot of other things and all I could think was... No. I couldn't think. I agreed with everything she said as fervently as I've ever prayed for forgiveness for my own or another woman's sins and I only hope the Lord Jesus didn't hear me quite so clearly.

Then she wrapped her lips around my clit and bit down and I came, screaming, shaking, shouting Jesus name and Fuck and Willow and every curse word I knew. "Oh yeah. Come for me. Come for me so hard." I did exactly what she said and didn't know when I would ever stop.

And much as I wanted to rest from that completely earth-shattering experience, she sat up on her knees looking all self-satisfied and leaned over me kissing me gently like she hadn't just made me come hard enough to endanger the structural integrity of the dorm and I saw my opening, no pun intended. I didn't even ask before reaching up and sliding two fingers inside her and she fell forward onto her hands screaming. "I didn't expect that..." she panted and I smiled as evilly as she had earlier.

"I know." I added a third finger and slid down so I could get to her with my mouth and then I was tasting her and nipping at her and she continued with that profanity and I wished there were a way to soundproof the room because I was going to hear about it from my neighbors tomorrow morning. She wanted to lay down and we did and then I sat up with her in my lap and her legs wrapped around my back so I could really get inside her and she tried to kiss me but it she was thrashing around with her head flung back so that she really couldn't and then she tensed and lifted her ass off my lap and held there while she clamped down on my hand for the longest time.

When she was done with the most adorably sexy series of shakes and moans and wimpers and obscene screaming too, she kissed me and slumped against me and I wrapped my arms around her back. "Can we just lie down right here?"

I slowly lowered her to the floor and lay down half on her and half on the carpet. We were both still breathing hard and trying to catch our breath and I didn't know if she would want to go again but for the moment, it was nice just resting there.

"Wow. That was. Uh. Really."

I laughed at her loss of control over English. "I'll take that as a compliment."

She pulled my head toward her and kissed me deeply before letting go. "You're amazing."

I kissed her back. "You too, sweetie."

She laughed a little. "And you're not an urban myth."

I lifted myself up on one elbow, one carpet burned elbow it turned out. "Ow. What?"

She looked at me with a smile. "Missionary Tara. I thought you were an urban myth or whatever you call college campus myths." She nuzzled at my neck with her nose and kissed me all along the jugular where I was all tender.

So that's what her friend had started to say at Expresso. "Missionary Tara. I'm Missionary Tara?"

"Can we move to the bed? I mean unless you didn't want me to stay the night. Which is ok if you don't but I kind of do and kind of hoped you did too but if you don't that's ok but can we because I'm kind of sore and this carpet is scratchy?"

I stood and pulled her up and onto the bed with me where we could get more comfortable. "Missionary Tara?"

"Oh right. You know, that there's a girl here who wants to minister to people, well, to girls, and give them, you know us, her testimony, but she's kind of this wild sexy vixen too." She looked like she was worried that I was going to be mad about it.

"How did you hear about this myth?"

She smiled, I guess glad that I hadn't already thrown her out into the hallway, "Judith told me about you at the Sedar at the Temple last week but I thought she made you up." She started kissing down my neck. "I'm so so so glad that she didn't."

The Sedar at the Temple? Oh she is going to require a lot more work.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Dibs...back soon.


ETA: Back....sorry for the delay.

Wow, Deb!

That was just twisted and wrong on so many levels, and I loved every freaking word of it. Nicely done.

First off, I love the choice you made to go with the first person point of view. I love Missionary Tara and the apparent single-mindedness of her beliefs.

Um, yeah. I can say with absolute certainty that if someone (especially someone who looks like Tara) had ever tried to witness to me the way that Tara does in this little tale, I might have actually listened. The first person makes it all so clear, and it keeps it locked right in her head in a really effective way.

This story is just jam-packed with moments that made me laugh out loud, so I won’t quote them all. This one was my favorite.

So, I laughed like an idiot when I read that. Again, nicely done.

And you’ve elevated the whole dirty talking thing to a new level here. I especially liked the way Tara caved in and finally let go of the “f” bomb when Willow was least expecting it. That was just fun. And the smut…what can I say? Technically, it was great and thank you so much for leaving out the cheesy euphemisms. Good smut, like many other things in life, is a wonderful thing when done well and a total disaster when it’s not. Pieces of this were so real that I found myself nodding in agreement more than once. Great choice of positions also.

I love this image, kind of a take on the classic Holy Roller speaking in tongues thing. It was just one more bit of fun that I really liked.

In conclusion, I’d like to offer you a high-five for another tale well-told. This is the part where someone would usually poke and prod you for what you’re working on next, but I’ll just sit back and wait to see what happens.

Thanks.

Diane

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

Oh Debra, this is absolutely delicious and hilarious!!

I wish I could quote my favorite parts back to you, but that would require me copying the whole thing! Missionary Tara indeed! I'm an atheist but I sooo want to hear Tara's testimony and be part of her ministry now.

Again, absolutely delicious. I don't think it offends, or I hope it doesn't b/c it's perfect. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful random bit.

Hope all is well with you and yours on that side of the continent. Thanks for the laughs.

Safuega

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In darkness there can be light
In misery there can be beauty
In death there can be life -El laberinto del fauno-

Wow, and wow, with a little more wow!

If thats the way to heaven I'll sign up up for that religious experience right now.

Debra, you write the best smut ever, that was just as hot as hell. Loved that Willow tempted and tested Tara's resolve, I couldn't help but think of the Devil tempting Jesus in the desert etc, but that was no Sunday school ending, and for that I say, hallelujah!!

I loved that hint of predator laced with innocence and fervent evangelism that Tara had, but it stilled held that element of creepy indoctrination that seems to be associated with the type of religion that her Daddy preaches. I liked that I couldn't really tell if she rebelling against it or totally embracing it, on one level it was total piss-take, and on the other a scary example of how people are pulled in to believe any doctrine when the message is powerful and twisted enough to hold them there and convince them that the means justifies the end.

As this is the first time I've left feedback at any of your fics, I'd like to say that I've enjoyed all of your previous work just as much as I've enjoyed this.

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People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built. Eleanor Roosevelt

Yay for great story... Is this a one off or is there a sequal to this?

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We few, we happy few. We band of buggered.

Posting While Nude Improves Your Mood.

There's something deliciously perverted about your mind, and I couldn't be more thrilled if I had thought it up myself.

Seriously.

This is just... delightfully wicked.

"Missionary Tara" is a fantastic character, and the smut is... well, wonderful.

Thank God for you, my friend.

M.

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"This is not my life, or maybe it is..." -TEB

There's some more of my stuff over here: http://bonmot507.livejournal.com/

viewtopic.php?t=4929

The part when Tara asks Willow to pray with her kinda reminded me of that scene in "There Will Be Blood," when the young, sinnerminister asks Daniel Day Lewis' character to get down on his knees and ask for forgiveness. Being a very non-practicing Catholic (I still cringe remembering 12 years of saddle shoes and polyester uniforms -- oh, but the other girls...), I found myself wishing my personal Jesus was this sexy. Effin' A! No better way to cleanse the soul than with an illicit roll in the hay (or on the carpet -- heh, I said carpet.) And all that "say it if you want it," dirty talk. Mmm... I love stories of religion and sex about as much as Popeye loves spinach. Really unique way of bringing these beloved characters to us. And wow... I really should look into a new paragraph, huh? Whatever, I'm rebelling!

When I woke up this morning, I heard a disturbing sound.
I said, when I woke up this morning I heard a disturbing sound.
What I heard was the jingle-jangle of a thousand lost souls.
The souls of mortal men and women who have not yet found their salvation through Tara's ministering ways.
Don't be lost when the time comes for the day of the Lord cometh as a thief in the night.
Find grace through Tara's ministering ways and testify to the redemptive power of her touch be it tits, toes, or tongue.
Let the Holy waters of Tara rain down upon you and cleanse you in their salvation.
Amen Kittens.

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I can deny chicks in chainmail nothing.
Amberhol-from the land of sky blue waters.
No Mere Music Hall, This my novel available directly from rosestindog@gmail.com.

Amen, indeed!

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“When you say, I am gay, you own it. No one can take it away from you.”
- Amber Benson

Natalie

OK that just fuckin' rocked...there's no other way to put it

Dear Debra,

Hello. It was with great pleasure that I read this. It was a great surprise when ti wa sposted. I am sorry to feedback lately though.


Well it was a bit strange yet very fun. I did enjoy it.


I suddenly want to be labeled as a sinner.. I don't know why.



Anyway, what I wanted to say is, it is a short fic in two parts, or is it done? it is nice that way but of course I am curious about Willow's point of view.

All in all it was nice to read you.

Thank you.

Friendly,

Julia.

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Broken Dolls |The Stadium's Goddesses | Seeds Of Beauty

"Joie est mon caractère, C'est la faute à Voltaire; Misère est mon trousseau, C'est la faute à Rousseau." Gavroche. Victor Hugo, Les Misérables (chap. XV)

I must admit, it's been a long time since I read a fic on PENS. Then when I saw that you have a new short story, and it's NC-17, I told myself, "I gotta check this out and go back to W/T world!" And I'm glad I did! Coz it's, WOW! You're an amazing writer Debra.






Hope to read more short stories from you

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“I’m gonna marry you someday! Yoooou’ll see!” 8 year old Willow to 17 year old Tara.-Written In The Stars

"I think you are such a sweetheart even though you got that twisted mind that is almost sadistic." - A friend, after reading REAL LOVE

Diane – Well, dibs for you.

See, now that’s what I’m talking about!

It’s interesting that you mention first person here. I know we’ve discussed pov a lot and I am growing more and more fond of first person. It becomes more easy, more convenient, but also more powerful both to answer the questions you want to answer and to not answer the questions you don’t want to answer as a writer. I love that using first person allows this Tara to be seen as exactly as single-minded as she is while really telling us nothing about Willow but what Tara chooses to tell us.

Lol. I actually got witnessed to quite a bit in college. My roommate and I were definitely seen as sinners by the girls who lived across the hall. They each came over separately to tell us about Jesus as well as each of their boyfriends. I have to admit that I took a cue from my roommate who had no interest in the sales pitch but saw no reason to be rude. That’s always the approach I’ve taken. At the same time, yes, a Tara-looking Tara-acting testimonier would have been quite appreciated.

That’s a good way to put what I was saying above.

I’m glad it was funny to you. My personal favorite is Tara describing her and the high-school girl praising Jesus half the night.

You know how much I value your feedback on smut so thanks. I really debated the whole talking dirty thing and actually wrote it, erased it, rewrote it, and kind of couldn’t decide. I finally decided to get into Willow’s head and the heads of all these sinner girls and wonder what they would actually want from the trophy if that’s what Tara is to them. And I felt like she would be just that perverse. Oh, and obviously I never remembered to go back and fix the typo you found but thanks for pointing it out. Maybe I’ll remember when I post this…

Thanks so much. I got the video in the mail over the weekend so hopefully I’ll get to watch it this week.

Hmmm… what is next?

Safuega – Hello and thank you. Well that seems to be the most frequently response to this tale so I’ll take that well.

I’m glad it didn’t offend and thanks for your response. Always glad to hear from you.

Paint the Sky – Thanks, and thanks, with a little more thanks!

Well, that’s three in a row signing up for Tara’s brand of Jesus. Like I said, I consider my work here nearly done then. Ok, just this work, not all of it.

That’s quite what I was planning but in the least sacrilegious way that that could be intended.

That’s an excellent way to describe her. She’s definitely a predator but one who allows her prey to believe they are the hunter.

I think a little of both. She definitely believes in the Jesus that she preaches: that Jesus is the son of G-d, that he came here to save us, died on the cross for our sins, and was reborn 2 days later. And it’s a knowing deep in her soul. But her belief system is entrenched deeply enough that she has no doubt whatsoever either that her actions will be forgiven by a loving G-d. And since she sees her actions as an extension of G-d’s love, she doesn’t even believe she needs the forgiveness that she can have anyway. It’s twisted but it’s her Truth.

Thanks so much.

Zampsa1975 – Thanks so much. I intend this to be one-off but you never know when someone will pop into my twisted brain for a return visit.

chance – Hey there.
, not the first time I’ve heard that.

Lol!

Thanks so much. I enjoyed it and I’m glad you did too.

katjetson – Oh man, now I’ve got to see that movie. For a while we were watching quite a few movies but we’re trying to kind of cut down for more quality time, etc.

I feel for you there. And I agree, that this type of illicit roll in the hay as you say, would do much to cleanse the soul.

Thanks so much.

taralicious – Amen!

amazon – Tee hee. Thanks.

umgaynow – Thanks so much.

Julia – I got your latest PM but haven’t had a chance to respond. Sorry for that.

Don’t worry about the late feedback. I think it took you three days so I don’t really consider that late at all.

Yes, strange. But I’m glad you enjoyed anyway.

I think you’re in agreement with quite a few readers on wanting to be a sinner of the type Tara wants to minister to.

I believe it is done but you never know if one of them will pop back into my demented mind.

Thanks.

ambercissism – Thanks so much. I haven’t seen you around much but it’s nice to have a visit and especially to read and comment on this little piece. Thanks so much.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

That was a really fun, really strange story. Tara's such a perculiar person in this one - of course, she's always got her lovable quirks, but this time she's truly bizarre. On the surface, she's so indoctrinated, everything she does is filtered through the beliefs she's been taught, and there's no self-analysis going on with her - she doesn't stop to think about why she thinks and acts in a certain way, she just does. The perfect follower, you'd think.

And yet, she's completely different to what her father et al would have had her be. It's as if she's taken on board everything she's been taught, but instead of trying to reconcile it intellectually with her own feelings vis-a-vis hot gay love, she's just accepted it on a core level inside of herself, and without rationally intending to, she's made those beliefs entirely her own. On one level she does exactly what her faith tells her - on another, she's fixed it such that her faith is telling her to do exactly what she wants.

It's strange to imagine what she and Willow will be like - obviously they'll make it, since y'know, Willow and Tara, but it must be such a weird, bizarre relationship they're embarking on. Tara's so single-minded, so naive almost, and yet (unknown even to her) she seems to have this meta-Tara lurking inside her, carefully engineering the way her belief guides her - like she's got Machiavelli in her subconscious and she doesn't even realise it. And Willow's such a mystery, since we only learn what Tara does, and Tara's so fixated on her own path - and yet, Willow got to her, no denying that. They're going to have such a strange relationship - but hey, happiness is happiness, whatever form it takes.

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Chris Cook

Through the Looking-glass - Every world needs a Willow and Tara.

Chris – First off, thanks for the awesome graphic. It so perfectly expresses the weird juxtaposition within this character.



I totally agree that Tara is peculiar here. Maybe more than that. But she's still kind of adorable too.

I think she's a person who has managed to take a very strict belief structure and to incorporate her own wishes seamlessly. If someone sat her down and explained it from another viewpoint, I honestly don't think she'd be able to comprehend any conflict between her religious beliefs and her sexual experiences. She believes absolutely in Jesus and his power to save souls. She also believes that she is just sharing his love and there is nothing wrong or even untoward with her actions. You put it very well:



Isn't that what we all actually do? I mean to follow any religion is basically a matter of picking and choosing (or picking and choosing no religion). We can call ourselves whatever we want in terms of denomination but then we decide which parts of our religious teachings work for us ranging from don't commit adultery to keeping kosher (or not).



I love to ponder what going to have dinner at each other's houses is likely to be like. I can imagine Tara at the Rosenberg house wanting to interrupt everyone before they can lift their forks to link hands and pray in Jesus' name or Tara's father so happy that she's brought a true un-believer home so the entire family can bless her with their prayers. He'll probably be picturing an altar call during the weekend. And I picture Willow's parents with typical Jewish sensibilities regarding their gay/lesbian daughter, "Please keep it down, your father has an early flight…" Tara's father: "Well, I just don't know how the house is going to sleep tonight, tryin not to listen to you girls… You know how girls are during a slumber party…"



As far as what we know of Willow: very little and I intended it that way. This particular story is really just all about strange Tara. Willow? She's just kind of Willow but sexier and more confident…



Thanks

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

I loved it! I started reading it in during an English course (and it was way more interesting than anything my teacher had to say ) and you really sucked me in. But then again, I don’t expect anything less from you anymore

I did had it the wrong way though! At the beginning I thought Willow was the Christian one! It was only when she met Willow that I figured ‘huh, oh, right, it’s Tara.’

And for the rest: Wow. Hot.



Chance, I couldn’t have said it better

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When things fall apart, you put them back together. Not give up.

Alright just wanted to point out this was the second story I'd ever read when I was lurking. After reading it my mind almost blew a fuse.

I loved it. Pure and simple. The entire story made me giggle. I am not a big religious person at all ( I am pro the philosophy not the people) and I think that helped me enjoy the story that much more. Great story.

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Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

WrongObsession - I'm glad you found this and were amused by it. When I thought of it and wrote it, it really cracked me up. I'm glad you liked it too.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Hello Debra,

Well first and foremost, congrats for a great story!

I absolutely enjoyed how you delicately portrayed the whirling of the religious-oriented mind when confronted with its opposite twin: sexual intimacy. That was a piece of mastery indeed especially when you made a presentation of Tara helping people out at University by channelling them towards spirituality. The story becomes even more beautiful with the description of the first elaborate sex scene between the two girls. I tend to keep on picturing Tara as being the dominant one though and maybe that comes from a deep seated feeling of déjà vu that where sex is concerned, she always is the dom in the relationship. Nice to observe the different thoughts and feelings that flutter.

Once again, my thanks to this story for making my evening enjoyable.

Vi'

Vi – Hey there. So you didn’t see this back when I first posted it? Well, cool. Now I get some new fb. I’m glad you liked it. This story was a bit of a lark and I fully expected people to be offended but I don’t think anyone was. I can’t say whether Tara every truly confronted the contrast between her religious orientation and her sexuality. For her I think it’s all just one thing and she uses it as a tool to bring people to Jesus (or so she believes). I actually think that her biggest conflict will come when she actually wants to have a relationship with some woman and the woman wants her to stop ministering to other women. Tara’ll be all, “But, baby. I just want to bring them to Jesus.”

Interesting that you see Tara as more dominating. I used to see her that way but my personal vision has somewhat changed over the years. Now I more often think of Willow as dominating or at least more outgoing.
You’re so welcome.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Story Title – Years

Chapter – 1 of 1

Author – JustSkipIt

Pairing – T/W

Feedback – Yes, please

Spoilers – None

Rating – NC-17

Distribution – Susan & Megan help yourselves. Chris you can help yourself but I don’t think you’ll want it as it’s not uber. Anyone else, just ask.

Disclaimer – Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Willow and Tara and the Buffyverse. No copyright infringement is meant by this fic and I will not make any money from it.

AU Note - Follows cannon through Tabula Rasa. Tara moved out and never came back to Willow. Willow got clean from magic. At the end of the semester, Tara decided it was simply too hard to be in Sunnydale and transferred to another college. Buffy is still the/a Slayer but she’s mostly inactive – an adviser or trainer to the newest Slayer in Faith’s line.



Willow checked her hair in the hotel room mirror and smoothed her slacks. No gray showed, thanks to the trip she’d made to the colorist the week before. Years ago, she couldn’t have imagined standing in front of the mirror checking for gray hair and wrinkles like someone’s mother. Like her own mother. But now it was simply a fact of life. Time passes and when it’s done more time passes. She glanced at her watch, seeing that it was only 7:15. There was no way she could stay in this hotel room obsessing so she picked up her card key, slid it and her credit card into her pocked and exited the room.

There were only 45 minutes until she would see Tara, just enough time for a relaxing walk around the grounds. On her check-in, the front desk receptionist had discussed the paths in the gardens and she did want to see them.

Forty-five minutes until she would see Tara again.

Or not.

Her heartbeat sped up as she walked, not because of the walking but because of excitement over seeing Tara and fear of not seeing her. As she walked she remembered the first of their anniversary weekends.

[blockquote]Willow breathed in the unmistakable scent of sex and rolled over in the bed. In spite of what she suspected was going to be a championship level headache building behind her eyes, she smiled as she attempted to piece together her memories of the night before.

Ok. Got laid. Well. Very well. But who?

Her eyes snapped open, reminding her of the building headache as she realized just who was currently taking a shower in the hotel room bathroom with the door closed. She looked around the room, a glass of water and three aspirin on the nightstand, robe at the foot of the bed, sheets pulled loose, last night's clothes strewn on the floor, chair, desk, and doorknob.

Tara.

Tara. Really?

Willow swallowed the aspirin and water as she attempted to remember the details of the night. Ok. Dawn's getting married this evening. Buffy's mad that her sister wants to get married so young. She doesn't approve but that's not going to change Dawn's plans. They'd gone out partying for her bachelorette and Willow and Tara had both had quite a bit to drink.
She felt embarrassed as she remembered how many times she had told Tara how much she had missed her in the past four years, how pathetic she must have seemed. And she remembered their flirtations becoming more and more pronounced as Tara whispered in her ear a question about the date. Did Willow remember the date? Like the redhead would ever forget the date. Six years earlier they had gone out to the Bronze and met Faith in Buffy's body and come home to what they had referred to as the first “Big O evening.”

Fearing another round of embarrassment, Willow rolled from the bed and wrapped the fluffy robe around herself, then crossed to the sink. She quickly brushed her teeth and went back to the bed.

The flirtations the night before had slowly gone from sweet to smoldering to the two of them struggling to make it from the elevator to the door to Willow's room and fighting to extract the key from her pocket. Not entirely sure if she should trust her memory, the redhead pulled back the robe and looked at the inside of her thigh, laughing as she did. There, as plain as the blonde had ever made it stood a hickey almost purple against the light skin of Willow's leg. So many years ago, she had liked to tease that she was just marking her property and Willow always assured her that she'd marked her heart if not before Big O evening, then and every day since then.

The shower shut off and Willow didn't know where to look. A glance at the floor showed only her clothes so Tara must have taken her clothes from last night into the bathroom. After a few minutes the door opened slowly and quietly and Tara took a step out before seeing Willow was a awake.

"Um... G-good morning?"

Willow blushed and smiled. "Very. You?"

Tara set down the hair brush and pointed at the bathroom. "I ... I know I could have gone back to my room. I mean m-my clothes are in there. But I kind of thought... I mean, if you had woken up alone... and I didn't want to wake you up..."

The redhead nodded as Tara came nearer the bed. Oh God. That blouse buttoned low, somewhere around the blonde's cleavage and she'd pulled her hair back off her neck. "Oh. Yeah... I mean sure. I mean... whatever you ..."

Tara sat down on the edge of the bed and looked around, apparently searching for another piece of clothing. Not seeing it she got on the floor and looked under the bed, emerging a moment later holding up a shoe.

"Right." Willow felt like she was nodding like an idiot.

"Um... so um the wedding's at 7:00."

Tara nodded.

"Yeah. We need to be down there and in our gowns by 5:45 she said although I'm a little worried that Buffy and Dawn may kill each other if we're not there earlier."

The blonde nodded again.

"and there's lunch. Well, and breakfast although I'm not sure about eating breakfast but a shower and you know, I don't know what else is ... you know but there's the wedding later... and um..." She was stopped by the feel of Tara's fingertip against her lips.

"Will?" Willow nodded. "Are you ok. I mean about..." She waved her hand at the room generally and the bed in particular.

Willow swallowed hard and tried to keep her eyes off the sight of Tara's pulse beating in the side of her neck. "Of course. I mean, we're adults, and you know... it doesn't mean... I mean we were drunk. Not that I wouldn't ... I mean sober..."

"Right," Tara quickly agreed, "I mean we were pretty drunk."

Another nod as Willow licked her lips. "And it's not like. I mean, it's not like, 'hey. I'm still massively in love with you.'"

Tara shook her head as she tried to keep from noticing how Willow's robe tie was doing little to actually tie said robe. "Right. I mean, of course not."

The redhead nodded again. "Cause. I mean with the moving on and growing up and all."

Tara took a deep breath.

"I mean it's absolutely not like, you know, like I just kept going on about how you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Tara leaned closer and nodded. "Or ... y-you know, how very distracting it is that your robe won't stay closed."

"... or how no one has ever even come close..." Willow reached a hand out to gently slip the top button of Tara's blouse from its button hole. "Cause, we have things to do today and ... I mean I can totally resist marking the inside of your leg like you did mine."

Tara's hands fell to the robe tie as she unknotted it completely and slid her palms up Willow's thighs. "I ... need to go to the airport to pick up... someone... at 3:00."

The redhead finished unbuttoning Tara's blouse and slid it down the woman's arms, revealing a black lacy bra that she remembered admiring the night before. The words slid from her mouth in a whisper. "You are absolutely the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and no one has ever come close..." Tara pushed Willow back against the bed, pressing her to the mattress with her own body and began to trail kisses along the redhead's neck. "Oh God, Tara. I mean... just ... oh... We'll totally get you to the airport in time. I can go with you if you need. Who are you picking up at 3:00? Oh, God..."

Tara pulled her lips from the redhead's skin as she looked her up and down. "Willow?"

"Anything."

"Please stop talking about the airport?" And she didn't give Willow a chance to agree or disagree with the request as she pressed their lips together.[/blockquote]

When Tara had left Willow’s hotel room to allow the redhead to get dressed and to go to the airport, Willow felt that nothing could possibly surprise her more than the events of the evening and morning. That surprise, however, was quickly surpassed when the wedding ended and the wedding party took their assigned seats, only for Willow to be greeted by a girl named Rae who introduced herself as Tara’s girlfriend and said that it was wonderful to finally meet her after hearing so much about her. Buffy and Dawn’s warm and friendly greetings of the newcomer showed that they knew her and had obviously known her for years. So why had they never mentioned Tara having a new girlfriend? Because they knew Willow didn’t want to know. More importantly, was Tara really the type of person who would cheat on her girlfriend? The answer to that was obvious but Willow had left the wedding confused and hurt.

Their meeting the next year was really a lark. Over the course of the year, the two women had no direct contact. Willow had dated casually and could only assume Tara was still with Rae but she chose not to dwell on it. When she registered to attend the urban planning conference in Las Vegas she extended her return to give her a few days to relax if not to gamble. Perhaps she would see a few shows or go to Reno to ski. Only after she’d booked her plane did she note the date. The hotel sent her a printed post card to remind her of her booking and she’d barely thought about it before scrawling “I’ll be in Vegas the entire weekend for our big-O-versary” and sticking it in an envelope with Tara’s name and address.

She’d been sitting in the hotel restaurant eating appetizers and drinking a glass of wine when Tara entered the restaurant, kissed her on the cheek, sat down across from her, then reached over to take a mushroom cap from her plate and pop it in her mouth before asking if she’d a good day. It was as if the two lived together and hadn’t seen each other since breakfast. What followed was one of the most passionate weekends of Willow’s life. The two women went from bed to shower to hot tub back to bed and alternately to restaurants, for walks along the strip, or to see a few shows. Neither mentioned “real life.” Neither asked. Tara didn’t mention Rae and Willow didn’t ask. They talked about everything but relationships. Both described their homes, hobbies, work. Willow assumed that Tara was dating, if not still Rae, some other woman or series of women. A woman as beautiful and compassionate as Tara would never want for romantic opportunities and Willow knew Tara thought the same of her. Without even discussing their travel plans, both women let the other know when she would need to be at the airport and they had parted with no reference to seeing each other again.

In spite of a seemingly successful nine-month relationship with an architect Willow’s firm was working with on a large project, the redhead had every intention of sending another postcard to her former lover the next year. Before she had settled on a vacation spot, however, she arrived home one day to find an envelope with no return address but a San Francisco post mark. The post card enclosed showed the Alamo and written on the back was the name of a local restaurant and 8:00.

For fourteen years, the tradition had continued. Each year the women alternated choosing a place. Some years they had stayed in posh hotels, doing nothing but enjoying the bed and ordering room service. Others they had camped out or hiked in Big Bend. Never did they discuss relationships- not their relationship with each other nor their relationships with other women. Over that time, Willow had had numerous lovers. She’d lived with three different women and married and divorced one. And none of them had known about Tara. Sure, they knew that Willow disappeared one weekend a year but they accepted it as something to do with a past she chose to avoid discussing.

And this age of technology and social networking meant that sometimes Willow had to try to avoid knowing about Tara’s life. She avoided MySpace, Facebook, Twitter with a vengeance no matter how much Dawn insisted that she was living in the wrong century and that when the axel on her covered wagon broke she would be really screwed. In truth she couldn’t stand the thought of seeing Buffy, Dawn, and Xander as friends with Tara or, God forbid getting “Tara Maclay went to UC Sunnydale…” friend suggestions from Facebook.

Some years had been more difficult than others. One year Tara had arrived with a tan line on her ring finger and a tendency to fiddle with her hands as if she couldn’t figure out where to set them.

Willow had nearly fallen from her dinner chair the year Tara arrived six months pregnant. Once her shock was over, the redhead found herself entranced by the idea and reality of a human being inside the blonde’s stomach. She’d spent the better part of the weekend running her hands or lips over Tara’s stomach and singing or babbling to “lump.” It had taken all of her will-power to resist asking for details. How had Tara gotten pregnant? Was she doing this alone? If not, who was she going to parent this child with? That was the year Willow had started crying even before Tara got into the airport shuttle and hadn’t stopped for nearly two weeks.

The following year they had walked on the beach and in the surf of Destin, Florida taking turns carrying James in a sling and Willow had found her pain at not being a part of their daily life tempered by the overwhelming and unexplainable love she felt for a 6-month baby she had only just met. Tara had only brought James the next year and Willow hadn’t seen him since although Tara had brought pictures and stories of the little boy.

Three years later, Willow had responded to Tara’s note card for the rooms in British Columbia to say that they would need a suite. She wasn’t surprised that Korie refused to speak to Tara until the last day and explained the need for the baby monitor by telling the blonde that the 4-year old she had adopted still had nightmares nearly every night. She’d had no way of guessing that the blonde was herself barely 6 weeks pregnant with her second child.

And the last year they’d not made love even once as Willow detailed the too fresh pain of nursing her own mother through her death two weeks earlier of cancer. It was a pain she hadn’t felt able to describe with Buffy or her most recent ex-girlfriend.

The trip down memory lane had brought Willow to the door of the restaurant and she glanced at the clock over the hostess station to see that it was 7:50. She gave her name and was led to table with a beautiful view of the bay. Once seated, the redhead took a few breaths to compose herself and took a sip from her water glass. Facing the window, she could not see Tara approach but she felt her all the same.

Willow stood and she and Tara embraced for along hug followed by a passionate kiss before taking their seats. The blonde blushed as she glanced around the restaurant. “I think we shocked a few other diners.”

Willow laughed. “Not for the first time.” She glanced her companion up and down. “You look gorgeous.” She lowered her voice. “Do you remember that time in Cape Cod?”

Tara blushed and busied herself taking a drink from her own water glass. “I think I might have shocked myself as well as the other diners that day.” She set down the glass and stared at Willow for a long moment. “You get more and more beautiful, Willow.”

Before Willow could respond, the waiter approached and offered them menus and took their drink orders before reciting the day’s specials. He left with a promise to return and Willow smiled again. “Where are Dizzy and James? How are they?”

Tara smiled in return. “Well, Dizzy has declared herself too old to be called Dizzy any longer so Isabella and James are with Buffy this weekend.”

“Really?”

Tara nodded. “Why the smile?”

Willow shrugged. “It’s just that I gave Korie the choice of staying with Buffy or Xander and she said that Buffy lets them eat pizza for every meal and play video games.”

Tara nodded. “Oh. Well, I didn’t use to need Buffy to watch the kids.” She shrugged. “Now I do.”

Willow bit at her lip to hold the questions behind it from escaping. “I’m sure they’re all having a great time.”

Tara laughed. “I bet ‘Aunt’ Buffy learns her lesson about feeding Dizzy too much pizza when Dizzy throws it up all over her couch.”

“Seven minutes into our romantic weekend and we’re already discussing throw-up. God, we’re domesticated.”

“We’re mothers, Will.” Before either woman could add anything further, the waiter returned and they placed their orders and accepted their drinks. They spent the next few hours catching up on all the events of their past year – work changes, the kids school and activities, visits with Dawn, Buffy, Xander and the gang. As always, they didn’t discuss relationships or lack thereof beyond Tara’s initial comment that she needed Buffy to watch the kids, a comment which Willow took to mean that she had broken up with or been broken up with by her most recent lover.

After Willow had paid for dinner, the two women left the restaurant and began walking through the lobby. “Would you like to go for a walk? They have a nice garden outside with lots of secluded paths and benches.” She waggled her eyebrows and was pleased when Tara laughed.

The blonde took Willow’s hand in her own and pulled her closer, then leaned in to whisper in her ear. “I've now been way too long without touching you." She dropped the redhead's hand and cupped her hips in her hands. "Please don't make us wait any longer." She sealed her plea with a gentle kiss on the redhead's lips.

Willow responded with a less gentle kiss, teasing her tongue past Tara's lips to touch the edges of her teeth. She then wordlessly pulled away only long enough to take Tara's hand and lead her to the elevator. Their ride up the elevator to the eighth floor was determinedly chaste as they found themselves riding with an older woman and three children - her apparent grandchildren - as well as the elevator operator.

The chasteness of the elevator ride lasted only until Willow had opened the door to the hotel suite. Then the two women were falling through the doorway and to the nearest chair, tugging at each other's clothes as they went while keeping their lips virtually fused together. "Where's your baggage?" Willow gasped as she pulled away to tug her sweater over her head and toss it toward a corner.

Tara backed the redhead toward the bed as she felt Willow's hand sliding down the zipper on the back of her skirt and stepped smoothly from it as it fell. "I ... left ... it ... at ... the ... front ... desk..." Each word was punctuated by a kiss, lick, or nibble and she felt relieved when Willow's knees hit the bed and the other woman sank onto it, wrapping her arms around Tara's back and trailing kisses over her belly, her hands cupping the blonde's breasts.

Releasing her hold for a second to sink onto the bed and pull Tara to her, Willow bridged up to lift her bottom and slid off her slacks and panties. The blonde reached down to help and soon had divested her lover of all her clothing.

As Tara pressed her lover against the bed, feeling Willow's center against her stomach, she heard her lover speak. "I can ... go get it... later."

Tara bent her head to run the tip of her tongue over Willow's hardening nipple with a teasing touch. "I don't feel any need to put on clothes again this weekend."

Willow arched up into the blonde's mouth as she urgently craved greater contact. "Yes. Uh... works for me..." Somewhere in the back of Willow's mind, a voice was telling her to slow down, to make this last but a more urgent one seemed to be directing her body and hands and mouth as she dug her fingertips into Tara's ass and pulled her as close as she could, grinding her center against the blonde's body. "I ... I ..." words failed her and she finally settled on practically begging "please..." That part of her brain still thinking rationally realized that Tara was in the same state of need and want and passion even as the blonde slid two fingers into her wetness.

"I've missed you so..." Tara whimpered as she felt the soft warmth of her lover's body enveloping her fingers. And she could think of nothing but carrying Willow to the highest peak and traveling with her and keeping her there as long as humanly possible until the redhead climaxed, her hands almost painful in their grip on Tara's back and their mouths melded together so that she felt the scream in her own chest.

Having managed to roll more fully onto the bed and bring Tara with her, Willow still felt boneless. Unable to really control her hands strongly, she began to gently trail her fingertips over the blonde's chest, sides, and stomach, noting the low purrs each stroke evoked. "You are so beautiful, Tara Maclay."

Tara merely purred in response to the words and the feeling of Willow's light touches. After an eternity of the sensual contact, Willow propped herself up on her elbow and began to lave the other woman's hard nipple with her tongue, alternating wet licks and blowing to see the effect on the skin, finally sucking one nipple into her mouth while rolling the other between her fingers. She was pleased to hear the blonde's sounds go from light purrs to moaning with an occasional "Oh, God..." thrown in. Satisfied with the attention she'd paid to her lover's nipples, Willow kissed her way down Tara's stomach and to brush her cheek against the her soft hair.

Tara's cries were almost tearful and Willow had no wish to make her lover cry. She quickly positioned herself between Tara's legs and began to love her with her mouth and lips and tongue and teeth until she could feel the blonde on the edge of wanting more and then she didn't stop but slid three fingers into Tara's waiting body as she continued loving her with her mouth. And she knew that Tara's hands wound themselves in her hair, holding her to her body but she would never had left without them and when Tara's climax exploded, Willow continued loving her, tasting the sweetness of her orgasm. The redhead continued, lightly kissing and loving Tara until the blonde finally begged her to stop, to just hold her.

"Wow," Tara finally exhaled as she ran her fingertips through Willow's hair as the other woman rested her head on her chest.

Willow placed light kisses on her lover's stomach, chest, collarbones and giggled. "It always is, with you, darling."

Tara nodded. "I know."

Willow lifted her head to look at the blonde for a long moment, then grinned and leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "I'm hoping to beat our all time wow record tonight. Let me show you how..."

And Tara grinned herself. "Oh, really?..."

--

If not for the sound of the phone ringing, the woman would have doubtless slept late into the morning. But it had gone without discussion the year that Tara first came without James that she would leave her phone turned on for the weekend and Willow had followed suit with Korie.

“Oh god… Is that mine?”

Willow giggled as she leaned over attempting to extract her limbs from the tangle of sheets to reach her phone. “Mine.” She pawed through clothing. “It’s 9:00…” Finding the phone she finally pressed the screen. “Hello?”

Tara listened with amusement to Willow’s side of the conversation with Korie. “Yes, Sweetie…. What kind of pizza? Really? Did you have fun with them? Well, I think James is around your age… Star Wars?” Sometime around the listing of the movies the kids had watched with Buffy, Tara got up from the bed to visit the bathroom. She returned to hear Willow telling her daughter that she loved her then the girl obviously handed the phone to Buffy. “Hi, Buff. Has she been ok? Ok. She slept ok? And brushed her teeth? No, I know you know what you’re doing. Of course. Ok, well thanks. Tell her that we can talk this evening, ok? Ok, bye Buff. What? Uh… I … I have no idea what you’re talking about… Right. Bye.”

Tara leaned back against the headboard as Willow kissed her, then slid from the bed to root through Tara’s bag and hand her her phone. “Buffy said to tell you that she and the kids will call you in a few minutes.”

“What?”

Willow laughed. “I neither confirmed nor denied anything.”

Tara laughed as well. “I guess our cover is blown.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s been blown for a few years now. Dawnie asked me why I’m never around for her anniversary.”

“Yeah, she asked me the same thing a few years ago.”

Tara’s phone rang and Willow excused herself to the bathroom. By the time she returned Tara was singing Dizzy a song. The redhead picked up the room service menu from the desk and then sat in the bed to snuggle her lover. “Ok, honey. Can I talk to Aunt Buffy now? Hey, Buff. Yeah, I have n-no idea what you’re t-talking about. How late did Dizzy stay up? No, that’s ok. What are you doing today? Ok, take snacks. What? No, I know you know to take snacks. Right. Ok. I love you, Buff.”

She hung up the phone and set it on the nightstand. “I need to charge that.” Willow just nodded and ran her hand along Tara’s thigh. “She said she hopes we’re having a nice time and to stay as long as we want.”

Willow laughed. “I’m pretty sure even the Slayer would get tired of watching three kids in a few days or a week.”

Tara nodded and leaned over to look at the menu. “Especially when James decides to harass his sister.”

Willow’s stomach grumbled and she laughed. “I seem to have worked up an appetite.” She grinned cheekily at the other woman who blushed.

“I remember that.”

Once the redhead had placed the order she tossed the menu to the floor and then kissed Tara a few times before settling against the headboard and wrapping her arms around the blonde’s shoulders. “Tara?”

“Oh God. You’re not breaking up with me, are you?”

Willow laughed. “No, sweetie.” She took a deep breath. “You know I figured something out a few weeks ago.” Tara continued trailing her fingertips over the other woman’s stomach but didn’t answer. “I’ve been in love with you for twenty years. Twenty years last night. More than half-my life.”

Tara closed her eyes then whispered softly. “Me too, sweetie. Well, a little longer for me.”

“I know.” Willow ran her fingers through Tara’s blonde hair. “This… this thing…” she waved one hand around the room. “This thing is great. It’s … hot and sexy and romantic and so special…”

“Sort of an understatement, Will.”

“Right.” Willow faltered. “And… we’ve had these parameters. These rules that we never actually discussed but they’re the rules. No relationship. No relationship talk. No questions. No answers.”

“Right, Will.”

“But here’s the thing. I don’t know why you needed to leave the kids at Buffy’s house. Maybe you’re in a relationship. Maybe you have always been in a relationship. Maybe you and Rae are celebrating 17 years together or something. And maybe she had to travel for work and couldn’t take the kids.”

“Slow-down, sweetie. You’re going to hyperventilate.”

Willow took a breath and kept talking. “No. I have to say this. But maybe you’re not and maybe you left the kids with Buffy because you’re single. And I want you to know that I’m single. And I’m going to be single. If you want to stay how we are, we can and this will always be the most incredible three days of any year. But if you want more… if you don’t want to stop at three days a year, I’ve got another 362 available. Well, really 362.2425 and they’re all yours if you want them because I’m still as madly passionately crazy in love with you as I was 20 years ago today or 14 years ago today or last year or last night.”

Tara had listened through Willow’s entire rambling declaration without speaking again. She sat up and placed her hands on either of the redhead’s cheeks and kissed her softly. When she pulled back she saw the look of fear and heartbreak in her lover’s eyes and knew she had to end the suspense. “I think another 362 days with you give or take the leaps sounds wonderful, Love.”

“Really? I mean… Really?”

Tara kissed her again and again before leaning forward to whisper in her ear. “Let’s see if I can show you just how really I mean it before the room service arrives.”

And Willow felt her lover’s hands beginning to travel over body and could barely say “oh yes,” through the tears of happiness pooling in her eyes.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Wow. Definitely "same time next year"i ish. I like the idea although the obvious cheating does take a little bit away from it. . I am glad you ended it with them getting together rather than continuing the yearly pattern. I think I get to claim "Dibs" too. You are an excellent writer and I enjoy reading everything you create

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Atlantic Antics Meeting Expectations
Learning to Laugh What I Discovered at Band Camp

*insert happy sigh here*

I really enjoy the stories where Willow and Tara don't necessarily find their way back to one another so quickly. Maybe I'm a bit of an angst junky. Still, I love the journey that gets them wherever it is they need to be.

What's especially great about this story is that it's so different from most of the works on this site. Things aren't all puppies and rainbows and W/T aren't 20 year olds. They are real women with hopes, desires, insecurities, and fears.

I can't imagine the strength it must take to be able to see the love of your life for only three days a year. I suppose the alternative is less desirable, but I would imagine each goodbye becomes harder.

Good for Willow for babbling through her final speech and bringing them back together in a sweet, funny, and very real way.

Loved it. Thanks for sharing!

Nice, Deb. Glad to see you at it again.

Same Time, Next Year is one of my favorite movies, so it was fun to see that same kind of story with your W/T spin on it. Sexy fun, neurotic babbling, hickies on the thigh... well, you know, that's pretty much exactly what I like to read, so yay on you for that.

Thanks for sharing, again, and all the best to the gang. Keep up the good work.

Diane

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

Yay for great story...

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We few, we happy few. We band of buggered.

Posting While Nude Improves Your Mood.

I really enjoyed reading this - something different, something unique.

To think that will/tara kept up a secret affair for almost 2 decades is actually rather special. Making time out for each other, regardless of the circumstance....well, that's just pure love!

JSI,
I really enjoyed this, it was a different type of W&T story. I actually read it twice because the first time I got caught up in the "what?" and "why?" and "really, how?" (Lump) Too many questions swimming in my head Then I reread and instead just enjoyed their journey through the years it took to get them where they are now.
Very nice!
-anna

Even Time's winged chariot must yield to the inevitability of Willow and Tara's union since the three days make the rest of the year bearable.
Lovely to see they finally reached a point where they could spend the entire year together.

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I can deny chicks in chainmail nothing.
Amberhol-from the land of sky blue waters.
No Mere Music Hall, This my novel available directly from rosestindog@gmail.com.

Heartrending, the years spent apart. But a beautiful piece, nonetheless.

In it's way it reminded me of parts of Brokeback Mountain...the original short story, rather than the film. That kind of poignantly enduring passion.

Brilliant in its originality Debra! You captured to perfection how special moments create a more vivid experiencing of what matters in one's life. I especially liked the silent communicative stance between the two women about their respective romantic lives. The outcome of this long standing relationship is not something that I had expected personally but that's what gives the story its charm.

Thank you for sharing this fic with us.

Vi'