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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:16 am 
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5. Willowhand
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Ah! You had Giles apologize! No one ever thought of that in fic-land, I believe. But yeah, he saw her spiraling and just kind of got ... angry with her, huh? (That was always such a sad Buffy moment for me - in the kitchen, him going off on li'l Will.)

Such great little moments, Rach. Willow just abandoning her packing with the shirt dropping to the ground, Buffy nearly tripping on that lost binder, and just ... the running. Buffy running. Always work to be done. Man, being the Slayer seemed fun and cool in the first couple of seasons, huh? Never no more.

I know what you've got planned, and I can't wait for it to unfold. It's gonna be righteous! Oh, and as an in-joke aside, I've practically got a tie rack o' ties left over from my "baby dyke" days. You're welcome to rummage through them until you find one that goes nicely with your eyes. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:06 am 
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Quote:
Empty suitcases lay open, beckoning Willow to pile them with things.


Willow was not looking forward to going back, to say the least.



I kept being pulled back to these lines, and putting them into the context of how Willow feels.

For me they became a metaphor for how we feel in the aftermath of losing someone we love.

We are the empty suitcases, our grief hollows us out and over time, we put back the contents of our lives piece by piece. The space is slowly filled, as we build ourselves back to who we were, but like Willow reluctant to return to Sunnydale, we are also held back, firstly by anger and then the guilt that accompanies acceptance. But we get there, one item at a time until the space is no longer empty. The space, though, isn’t filled in the same way as before, the contents aren’t as neat, and we sometimes have to force the suitcase closed to stop the contents spilling once more to leave an empty shell.


Congrats on the nom at Sunny D, you really deserve it for this always excellent and thought provoking fic.

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People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built. Eleanor Roosevelt


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:32 am 
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5. Willowhand
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PTS, that was super emotional feedback. I can... relate. {{sigh}} In some way, your feedback help put a few personal things in perspective for me, so... thanks to Lotus for that. And thanks to YOU for that.

K


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 2))
PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:48 am 
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6. Sassy Eggs

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Ah, Lotus. Lovely Lotus. It gets better and better the more you write, Rach. Truly.

I really loved this line:

Zooeys_Bridge wrote:
She was a widow. And of all the guilt she carried, not staying with Tara had been her greatest burden and mistake.


Something about thinking of Willow as a widow really squeezed the ol' heart kinda tight. There's so much remorse and ... sadness, even after she had been working on healing for so long. Beautiful.

And having Giles apologize. I can't even say how touching and brilliant that was. You did a wonderful job of showing how remorseful and scared she is. Just, really really good.

I totally chuckled at the 'college, even' line. Like, she's faced all these demons and awful things in life, but college is very nearly the dealbreaker. Heh. Clever.

And, you know, all the shit that Dawn's been through. She always gets a bum rap for being such a whiner, but she's really faced a lot of crap. And you walked us through it wonderfully.

It's no wonder that when Buffy ran in the last sentence I might've cheered out loud a little bit. I just felt... I don't know, so happy that Buffy's in control of the situation. And a little safe.

Is that weird?

Great job, Rachel. Seriously. Hope you're not too hungover this morning.


Also, if you'd like a Jude-made scarf, I'd be happy to put in a good word for you. Any particular color scheme you fancy?


Last edited by taraslove on Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 11:03 am 
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5. Willowhand
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Jude -- I want a scarf! I want a scarf! It gets downright nasty cold here in L.A. Like... {{shiver}} 62 degrees or something! I know, I know... how do make it through these brutal winters?!


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 11:12 am 
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deleted


Last edited by taraslove on Thu Dec 04, 2008 10:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 12:04 pm 
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mmhmm... orange! my fave rave.


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 12:35 pm 
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As I said when you accidentally included this Willow section in the previous update, it is achingly beautiful, Rach. Despite all of the emotion running through most of the fics on Pens, I don’t often get struck by a reduction to tears, by a complete shredding. Jude’s Lost Unlike Leaves did this to me recently and now your portrayal of the real reason Willow is haunted has. Season 7 Willow is a portrait of despair. Of course all the evil she performed (murder, betrayal of her friends, attempted apocalypse) pales in comparison to leaving Tara “alone with a carpet for a shroud...unadorned and bereft”. Of course it does; thank you for emphasising what the show failed to. As PtS suggested beautifully, we are the empty suitcases; things can not be put together as they were before. Sadly there are often regrets that compound this—things that become your greatest crime of all; things you cannot get past, things you ask yourself, ‘How could I?’...just as Willow does. Thank you so much for writing this, Rach. It is perfect.



____
And on a much less solemn note (thankfully; sorry I got a little away on myself up there)... Jude, I “shall call and rail and demand excellent items at the hands of the master”! And I am feeling a lot of pity for you, Kat as I prepare to go outside in 35 degrees; a temperature we Canadians are actually very pleased to be enjoying this late in November (talk to me again in January when it is -40)! And yes I did the conversions from Celsius to Fahrenheit just for you!!

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:49 pm 
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Okay, another exercise in expandinatin' my feedback. I was afraid you'd miss this since my dibs is on the other page, so new post to rack up your post count!


Such a touching scene with Willow and Giles. He did just kinda up and leave, and it's understandable that he feels guilty about not being there, not just for her, but for the rest of the Scoobies.

Giving the gift of Tara . . . I loved that thought. She was the balance, the nurturing care, the heart of the Scoobs. Nice touch.

LOL, Buffy running in fashion. I can barely walk in heels. In fact, I can fall over from just looking at them.

Great job on the update, grasshopper.

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"I like my buttons, curvy." - Willow, Neverland, by Easiersaid


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 11:23 am 
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Hello, everyone. I promise this story hasn't left my mind. This semester turned out to be even busier than the last. But bit by bit I'm writing(sentence by sentence, paragraph by paragraph), hoping to secure some updating. It's slower, but thank you for sticking with it. Lotus almost made it to page 3 on Pens, and my goal is to make sure that doesn't happen. Hope everyone is well, spring is on it's way and I'm more than grateful for the birds and sunshine.


Foomatic: Nice dibs, dude.


Zampsa1975: I hope Willow gets some Tara-goodness, too. Soon. And vice versa.


Katjetson: Considering all the muddled magic history Giles has, plus the drama of being a bunch of ragtag kids' foster-Daddy, I'm surprised more apologizing didn't happen in the show or in ficdom. Oh well, glad to have gotten that done, though. Willow's definitely not the only one with guilt, sometimes I wonder how Xander, Buffy, and Dawn haven't drowned in it as well.

And no, the Slaying doesn't seem particularly fun anymore. Not after everything. So much pain! Oy yoy, the drama.


Paint the Sky: Oh, PTS, you really enrich so many things for me and clearly, for others here as well. The aftermath of losing someone we love is such a bizzare time in life. A time of transition and awkward new traditions that have to take the place of old ones. But without some people, you just can't go back to that, can you? We pick up, carry on, but it's never quite the same. And that's the hard part, adjusting to the difference. Thank you, O wise one for your insights and comments.


Taraslove: There seems to be lots of heart squeezing in Lotus, but not in the so-happy-it-might-burst kinda way. Maybe at the end. Ohgod hopefully at the end.

Oddly enough, I still can't stand Dawn in the show, I don't care that her whinyness is justified and she's had one of the toughest lives/existances for a kid her age. But I guess fanfiction is the place to redeem her into someone I'd like to see on screen, to round her out a bit more. Thanks for saying I did some justice by her. Makes me feel better for skipping through her parts on TV :P


masterjendu: Jen, thank you so much. I can't believe I made you cry! Is that cheer-worthy? I dunno, but I think I'll take it as a huge success. I still want to rewatch S7 but parts are either too painful or too wrong and ridiculous that I just want to skip forward it all. The Scoobies fell apart a long time before that and they never quite got back together again. Breaks my heart. So I'm glad I could break yours, means I'm doing it right.


Foomatic: I miss you, friend! Thanks for posting twice, just so I'd see, t'was very thoughtful of you. Tara for me was a gift to the show, why not give her to the Scoobs as well? They more than deserve it. And no, I can't get the hang of heels, either. It won't be happening for a long while. Hope all is well and that you and yours are happy and geocatching or cache-ing(whatever it is) to your hearts content.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:11 pm 
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I'm frickin dibsing this...just cuz I'm pretty much shooting blanks in the dibsing these days and feel the need to assert myself!! :]

I'm really hoping you do continue, Rach!

Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig kitties!!!

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Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. ~Helen Keller


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:25 am 
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Eeeh, why the fuck not.


Title: Lotus
Author: Zooeys_Bridge(Rachel)
Email: rsietz@gmail.com
Rating: PG(for now)
Disclaimer: Joss and ME own their characters. I’m just adding a little bit of spice. And not making a profit.
Spoilers: This is heavily steeped in canon, so be wary of all of it.
Feedback: Yes, please! This is my first story, so please feel free to scribble away with red pen. It’s highly encouraged.

Note 1: The previous chapter and the following take place in Lessons, Episode 1 of Season 7. They're sort of like scenes inbetween what we, the viewers, saw. Think about them logistically and place them chronologically. Any questions, please feel free to ask!

Note 2: Cliffhanger. Hee.



[center].::Lotus::.[/center]


Anya didn't think it was very fair, the way she was being treated.


She was Anyanka, champion of mistreated women, a thousands years of enough torture, punishment, and evisceration experience behind her to frighten any being. And yet, here was Halfrek telling her she was a joke at the office.


A joke?! She'd seen hundreds of fledgling demons try and fail to make something of themselves. D'Hoffryn had given her 'employee of the century' eight times in a row. How dare they mock her name. She'd been on top for decades before her little Sunnydale High romp, Cordelia Chase had just gotten lucky. If not for Giles' meddling, Cordelia would have stayed vampire food and Anya would never have lost her powers and gotten into this sopping mess.


A busy waiter weaved between the tables, delivering hot mugs and collecting empty ones. Anya thought about what she could do to that man. Torture him in ways he couldn't imagine. Delivering pieces of himself in tarts and cupcakes to the women he'd wronged.


But Anya merely sighed. She just didn't feel like it, today. That seemed to happen a lot these days.


The measure and test of true friendship rarely appears, but when Anya found herself human and alone in the world, she discovered just how real her friendships were. No well-wishes or condolences on her recent mortality. No fruit baskets, no singing telegrams. Anya was left to scrape together a life out of what little she knew. Did any of her friends or proteges care that Anyanka, champion of mistreated women, lived for weeks in an abandoned gym office in a high school before finding a cheap, dank apartment?


Without her powers to protect her, the trials of living in Sunnydale proved too much for a weak teenager to handle by herself. Anya needed friends. She needed allies. How little she knew at first how different those two were. She'd quickly picked up on the fact that the only thing Sunnydale had going for it resided in the high school library in off-periods and after school. The Scoobies were meek and small and had more odds stacked against them than anything Anya had ever seen. And she had seen a lot. How could she know that only a few stupid, mortal years later she'd feel more at home with them than anywhere else she'd been? How could she know of the steely inner strength Buffy held behind her facade of nail polish and cute shoes? What hope did Anya have of seeing anything more than ancient detachment bred of Watchers toward their Slayers from Giles? The power that dwelt deep within poor, compliant Willow? Or how quickly foolish, useless Xander Harris would rile her bones and quake through her being?


How could she hope?


But now she was here, sitting on a stupid stool in The Espresso Pump, holding a long-ago-cooled cup of a generic coffee drink, stuck. Summer lingered, warm and salty, and made her wish for things to be different. Ha! The vengeance demon, wishing! Irony slapped her in the face once again.


Anya wished, she couldn't help it. She wished she didn't have to go home to her apartment and cook for one. She wished Buffy would look her in the eye and that Dawn didn't always seem so sad. She wished Giles hadn't left and that the Magic Box was still there. She wished Willow would come back and that Tara could be sharing this coffee with her instead of Hallie's empty companionship. She wished she still had a place in the system that continued to turn, blind to the disasters of its quiet heroes.


Instead, she was listening to bad folk music, which assuredly did nothing to improve her mood. Anya frowned, took a sip of her drink, and straightened her back. She knew the uselessness of hope and the foolishness of wishing. Ask any of the women she helped if when they saw their wish granted, they felt better. If it was what they truly wanted. If they could only have him back. If, if, if.


Enough wishing. It's time to do what we do.


Anya cocked her brow and looked Halfrek in the eye. "Fine. If the Lower Beings want something to talk about, I'll give them something to talk about."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Tara pulled the towel that rested over her shoulder and ignored the flapping noise it made when it hit the kitchen counter. She wiped her flour-dusted hands carelessly on the sides of her thighs and walked over to the stairs. “Spike?”


After a quiet moment she shouted again, “Spike, are you up?” When silence again greeted her, she started to climb the stairs while a faint worry seeped into her heart. She called ahead, “Spike? I made breakfast,” but was cut off by the slamming of the screen door downstairs. Full-out alarm exploded in her ears as she scrambled down the stairs, barely managing to see the last reverberating shutters of the door in the kitchen. She righted herself against the banister, sprinted through the door and turned sharply to see Spike’s boots disappear around the corner.
“Oh no you don’t,” Tara gritted her teeth and gave chase to her increasingly spastic houseguest.


Months of spending time without a nightly demon hunt had left her ill-motivated to exercise. With no Slayer to back up, no beloved to guard, no innocents to protect, there hadn’t really been a point. Not to mention the fact that there weren't any demons to hunt anyway. She felt the effects now only a few blocks from Revello Drive, as a cramp pinched painfully at her side. Tara made a small note in the back of her mind to resume exercising as soon as she could catch her breath.


Tara was so bent on forcing her mind to outwit her body that she hadn’t realized where he was headed. As his strides became more focused and Spike entered a dilapidated building, Tara wondered just how much longer she could hope to chase a being that doesn’t need oxygen.


She didn’t think she could run much longer when she saw Spike trot to a dazed halt in the middle of a burnt out hallway. Finally. She balanced her arms on her knees, too exhausted to stand straight. Her chest heaved when it smacked her in the face.


High school. He’d led her to the high school. It’s dark, broken corridors and corroded walls echoed the giant gap of time it’d been since she was last here. A small twitch of her eye and she could almost see the not-so-tiny Tinkerbell light in the distance. Before she could sink into a delicious, painfully memory, Spike’s possessed footsteps pulled her in the opposite direction, down a janitorial stairway and into the dark.


“Spike!” she shouted while she scrambled over fallen beams. Tara slipped suddenly, grunted as she hit the floor and watched a burnt yearbook page fly out from under her. A long-dead bright-eyed and bushy-tailed girl floated past her face. Most Likely to Succeed.


What the hell is the matter with him?


Tara knew Spike, deeper than she expected to. It started in the milky beginnings of her and Willow’s relationship, though she didn't know it then, while sitting on the cool porcelain of Giles’ toilet seat making awkward small talk with Anya. She understood when she saw the bruises dance on his face after Glory, in the ways he'd avert his eyes for days. She saw, out of the corner of her eye, the hours he'd spend leaning on the tree in the front yard, cradling a forgotten cigarette between his fingers.


It came to her slowly, in moments and crises, just how similar she and Spike were.


Both runaways trying to escape what they were, inadvertently falling into this ragtag team of Scoobydom and becoming something entirely unexpected and different. Something more. She understood, later on, how deep that path took them-when sacrifice, love, and loyalty become truths instead of sidenotes. Sure, they may have taken different routes, but ultimately they’d become the same. Tara knew. And she held onto it just in case Spike ever tried to forget or pretend otherwise. He was more than that; she was more than that.


All of a sudden, he stopped. Frozen dead in his tracks, Spike suddenly seemed to realize where he was. He turned and squinted at Tara through the dusty light that filtered through foggy basement windows.


“Spike?”


They stared at each other for a moment, searching, but then Spike turned and faced a gaping hole in the wall where a door once stood. He laughed crazily for a moment, but his features soon softened and his eyes smiled tenderly at something Tara could not see. He raised his arm and gently spoke.


“Buffy…duck.”

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Last edited by Zooeys_Bridge on Thu Mar 19, 2009 7:57 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:31 am 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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DIBS. (will write more when I read it)


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated November 13))
PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 8:46 am 
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Yay for good update-y goodness... I hope Tara is able to send Willow a message that she is comming back to her...

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 3:04 pm 
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Yay, an update! :pinky

Thank you! :)


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 7:14 pm 
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Mhm! I was missing this story :) :pinky


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 10:54 am 
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Ahhh Rach, you continue to amaze with your wonderful insight into the complex characters inhabiting the Buffyverse. You take characters we know and love and think we have a quite intimate understanding of, and add even more nuances to their layers. This sketch of the motivations and tribulations of Anyanka Jenkins is fantastic, Rach! You’ve captured her perfectly.

My favourite line:
Quote:
She wished she still had a place in the system that continued to turn, blind to the disasters of its quiet heroes.


Not only did the “ragtag team of Scoobydom” suck Anya in, but Tara and Spike as well—quiet heroes all. I’ve already told you how much I love this parallel you’ve drawn between Spike and Tara, but I’d like to tell you again! I love it, Rach. : )

Scoobyage is definitely not an individual event, but is instead a collaboration that renders its constituents thoroughly metamorphosed (sorry, I very nearly got into a contact metamorphism geology analogy there but have successfully managed to rein the geek in!).

And more of this delicious mystery of Spike (the Slider) is revealed. He is all crazy in the basement ('what in the whatment!") AND with Tara? Lovin it!

Keep ‘em coming, my friend. You have a gift.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:54 pm 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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Whoa, color me surprised! I'll try to get to it this weekend, but I'm pretty busy procrastinating on videos I have to make. Heh. Yay update!

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:46 am 
There are loads of things I have enjoyed in the last chapters that I had not as yet commented upon Rach' and Lotus still holds a special place in my heart as a most beautifully written story. It's fascinating how you are not allowing the reader to delve deeper into character life line or emotions thereby allowing everyone in all dimensions (characters/storyteller/story-reader) to somehow create the reality we want to see in the lives of our favourite girls as well as merge in this multidimensional setting that you have so expertly elaborated.

As I travel around the thoughts and interactions of Buffy, Dawnie, Xander and even Anyanka, I find that much of this sucking in motion of their energies could be relieved through a simple acceptance of responsibility for their feelings about what happened ... even though what 'really' happened is unknown right now. That is especially what made me like Giles' apology so much as well as Willow's very realistic responses throughout all of the chapters.

Your characters' attitudes sting. For someone who is not familiar with cannon, it is a whole new re-experiencing of the Buffy show that crops up when I read Lotus thereby creating a whole new viewpoint on what might be leading to so much antagonism. At the same time it aids in constantly searching for wider berths as to what outcomes might result from the climaxes reserved for a later stage. Lovely cliffhanger by the way ...

Thank you for turning this into art ^^

Vi'


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 9:42 am 
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I'm woefully negligent on feedback these days so I apologize. The good side of this is that I forgot what part I was on...perfect excuse to start back at the beginning.

I love how you've "paired" people in updates, whether it's because of location or necessity of story. Willow and Giles are so similar in ways: bright, energetic, caring. Yet both are unable to see how they really fit in the world and with the Scoobies. Giles apology was so sweetly human. He is just a man, with flaws and foibles and a huge heart that he rarely follows. I imagine he will share his road to redemption with Willow and that in itself will be interesting.

Absolutely loved the last update with Tara and Spike. Your description of them as runaways was something I never considered, but fits perfectly. It's funny how they all came to be a member of the gang by accident and forged this incredibly powerful family.

The scene between Dawn and Anya shopping was fantastic. Here are two characters that didn't have a lot to say to each other in the show and you built this incredible moment between them that blew me away. To watch Anya breakdown over the absurdity of death and how the "rituals" afterwards weren't comforting was supremely sad. Yet in comes Dawn, the true child of the group, to offer comfort and consolation. That bridge ,especially, was one I liked.

I've found as your story unfolds, there's a common theme of redemption. Certainly Willow believes her own to be the hardest and doesn't truly believe it can be achieved. Yet each of them is carrying this deeper need to be more than they were, not so much for themselves, but for their family. Xander's line caught it best:

Quote:
What was the point of being a Scooby if there was no gang?


I can't wait to see what Anya has up her sleeve. The business in the high school is scary and exciting. I suspect that Spike is sort of floating between two realities. It's so cool that you've made him a key of sorts to unlock these very separate worlds. Maybe it will help redeem him too.

I just can't tell you how much I love this story. You've take the best parts of Buffy and made them better. From Anya wanting to be more than a vengeance demon to Tara finding purpose in baking and wanting and living again. Bravo! Will sit on the edge of my seat until next you update. (Hope it isn't too long because I'm not agile or graceful and there's a good chance my chair will topple)


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:26 pm 
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While not quite Lotus-related, I thought this prudent a place as any to post.


Some of you may recall that in early 2008 I took a break from Lotus because my grandfather had died. I wanted to inform anyone who might be interested that he's one of two men presented in Mitch Albom's new book have a little faith. My Saba was incredibly special to me, and now he's out there sharing his wisdom and love with everyone, too. In true Kitten fashion, I don't know why the title does not have proper capitalization, but hope there is a reason just yet untold. It is a lovely book, short and powerful, chock full of little lessons and big beliefs.


That's pretty much it for now, I guess. It's senior year, so no time for writing anything that isn't academically inclined, sorry. But I still think about this story now and again, just not as often as I'd like. Happy New Year and Simchat Torah for any who might celebrate, and welcome October to everyone else!

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:48 pm 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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Zooeys_Bridge: Thanks for sharing this information. I've found Mitch Albom's books incredibly touching and wise. How amazing it must be to have your grandfather immortalized in this way.

Good luck with your senior year and all the best to you!


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:50 pm 
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That's totally awesome and cool.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:11 pm 
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That is wonderful news, Rach. I know how much he and his wisdom meant to you and it must feel amazing to have a piece of him shared with the world in such an honourable way.

Good luck in senior year, my friend.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:19 pm 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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Rach
Just read this again - such an intriguing story. I hope after Senior year is over that you will find the time and the motivation to complete it for us.

I'm glad for you that your grandfather has been included in that book. Remembering our loved ones brings them closer, and somehow it just helps to know that others remember them too with respect and love.

Good luck with Senior year (being an Aussie I have no idea if that means secondary or tertiary education?)

Anne

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 12:51 pm 
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Ooooh this is really good! please dont abandon it!

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 11:43 pm 
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any chance of an update


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:09 pm 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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I was up late last night after feeding the baby, knowing full well that I should go to sleep, but instead stayed up and re-read Lotus. Because, you know, who needs sleep?

Even after the second reading it still strikes me how mature and succinct your writing is. It's so rich with description and character; I love all the little nuances, like the Oreo scene with Dawn and Buffy, or the idea of steeping in Tara tea . . . there's a depth of emotion in the scenes you write, and it taps into that small place in our hearts that we keep for these beloved characters. Your characterizations are spot on, as if they were the ones who crawled into your head and wrote.

But out of everything, my absolute favorite is the scene with Willow in the wardrobe. Gets me every. Damn. Time.

But I do have one gripe about your fic. Now that I've re-read it, I'm dying to find out where in the frilly heck Tara is, and what makes Spike so special that he can jump back and forth? What happens when Willow gets back? I love the tie in with canon, filling in all those little crevices between each episode.

I know, I know, you're busy graduating college, or whatever. Heh. But I did want to issue a gentle reminder that there's some unfinished business here.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:38 am 
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this story has been an amazing journey... the possibilities and options of where it can go and the endless paths it can take have my imagination racing... great job

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated March 19))
PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:42 pm 
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Title: Lotus
Author: Zooeys_Bridge(Rachel)
Email: rsietz@gmail.com
Rating: PG(for now)
Disclaimer: Joss and ME own their characters. I’m just adding a little bit of spice. And not making a profit.
Spoilers: This is heavily steeped in canon, so be wary of all of it.
Feedback: Yes, please! This is my first story, so please feel free to scribble away with red pen. It’s highly encouraged.

Note 1: The previous chapter and the following take place in Lessons, Episode 1 of Season 7. They're sort of like scenes in-between what we, the viewers, saw. Think about them logistically and place them chronologically. Any questions, please feel free to ask!

Another few-and-far update. Apologies for the delay, who knows when the next will be, but enjoy! Feedback to follow.





[center].:: Lotus::.[/center]


This time, the terrible darkness spoke. It yelled, howled and dragged Willow from the grass and dew, far past the roots and into the deep.

It seemed like forever. But then came wind. And noise. And teeth. From the inky darkness, sharp and wet, the teeth glistened for her. "We're coming for you," they hissed. Willow cowered and covered her ears as a midnight storm blew around her. She fell to her knees while her hair whipped around her hands and face. But still the tempest raged, snarled, snapped, and roared. "We know her eyes are watching you, little Willow."

Willow choked. The deep-seated fear that always lingered grasped her mercilessly. The tears could come now, hot and firey in this cold, cold place. They knew. They always knew. Her sins. Her darkness. It would never be over. Not while Tara's dead face watched her from beyond. Willow knew no spell or weapon could defeat these demons. No matter how much magic therapy the Coven could teach her, there was nothing that could be done to save Willow from this fate. Of teeth and thrashing. It was what she deserved. Even Tara knew; even Tara saw.

"Did you think it would be that easy, a hug and some tears?" The sound was booming and everywhere. "Thing again, young one, because we're here. We're always here and soon, we'll be all that's left."

The din and wind coalesced in a massive cyclone that swept Willow off her feet and into it's bowels. Powerless in it's wake, Willow drowned. And drowned and drowned and drowned. She drowned in hopelessness. In fear. In worry. In nausea, and a sick knowing that was meant to be. She let herself go to darkness- why should it not come claim her now?

In the storm, Willow succumbed, sunk into herself and thought of blue. While the teeth were grinding, Willow recalled the way Tara used to sigh into her pillow in the mornings.


The grinding stopped.

And how she used to close her eyes when she heard a birdsong.

The itching ceased.

The warm way she'd hug the laundry when it came out of the dryer.

The wind caressed.

Her face after a shower.

The dark turned grey.

The color of her lips.

The sound stopped.

Willow let herself think of red.

And then,

she woke.


"Oh, god."

But this time it was no slow, soft awakening. Willow jolted violently, electrocuted by the earth, and gasped desperately as if having nearly drowned.

Strong arms were cradling her. "Just breathe," she heard. Tara?

Inevitable disappointment seeped into her heart as Willow slowly realized no, Tara would never hold her again. Giles. "What happened," she managed to gasp.

"What do you remember?"

Sweet forgiveness before the black. "We were talking, and I felt-" she recoiled from the ground and met his gaze with frightened eyes. "-I felt the earth, Giles. It's all connected." But none of it back to Tara. Just the evil to me. "It is, but it's not all good and pure and rootsy. There's deep, deep black." The teeth. "There's...I saw, I saw the Earth, Giles. I saw its teeth."

Willow felt rather than heard the certainty in his voice. "The Hell Mouth."

It's coming. "It's gonna open. It's going to swallow us all."



[center]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/center]


It was astounding what time could do to scoured hearts. Contrary to popular thought, it did not heal all wounds. It didn't create a salve after months of searing pain, and it certainly did not prepare Buffy for what was on the other side of that door. Nothing could prepare her for the sight of such a haunted and dirty Spike. She'd never seem him that lost.

"Spike? Are you real?"

His wild laughter echoed in the dark basement and her face twisted. It was all too surreal.

There had been other basements, once. In falling houses. In secret and in shame. In desperation and in need. That urgency to feel, something, anything. Even if it was as dead as she still felt - how she used to be.

Buffy wondered where he'd been, how he got here, why his hair looked so different, and what were those cuts on his chest? His eyes were tender. She was concerned and lifted her hand to touch his cheek. But then the memories came.

She remembered how long she stood outside the bathroom looking in, wondering how long it would take her to get used to sitting on the slick and cool porcelain without feeling ill. It took her a few weeks, after everything, to not panic if her back was turned to an open room.

Buffy blinked.



Berries.

She was washing berries and slicing fruit in front of the sink when a clammy wave passed over her. Everything slowed down. She watched water droplets spill down the edge of a strawberry that wobbled on the countertop. Slayer instincts forced her blood to pump faster and made her heartbeat pound in her ears. - Threat, there was a threat. - The pregnant belly of a blueberry rounded in Buffy's vision when the fine hairs on the back of her neck sprung up in attention. Buffy swiveled and snapped to her right. Threat - there was a threat.

She heard a muted clatter. A bowl dropped. "Buffy?"

Dawn stood in the doorway, her arm frozen and her face a mask of alarm. "Buffy?"

Buffy watched inside as from a veil, horrified at the sight of her sister so frightened. The pounding in her head made her hearing fuzzy and Dawn's words were so far away. Buffy looked down and was surprised to see the knife locked tight in her grip. It's smooth and heavy handle was the only thing she could feel and it grounded her to the kitchen. She looked back at Dawn, who was fixated on the fruit-laden countertop, and followed the line of sight. Blood. There was blood. Buffy looked at her other hand. It was then that she noticed the red on the blade. She didn't even feel the cut.

She didn't feel anything except Dawn's arms as she surround her. Buffy closed her eyes and sank into the hug. That was the beginning of okay.




She'd had enough to worry about that summer without thinking of him. Plumbing in the basement, arrangements with the funeral parlour, Dawn catching up in school(constant apocali always happened during finals for some endlessly odd reason), phone calls to Giles, double shifts at the Doublemeat, and meetings with the social worker among other things. Turns out real life took up lots of real time and left none to Spike.

...who was suddenly standing before her. Disheveled. In the basement of the new high school.

Breath. Deep breath. Reel it in, Summers. Dawn is on the line. Stranger things had happened in Sunnydale, she supposed.

"Buffy, duck." Except maybe hearing him say that.

"Duck? There's a duck?"

And then, as happens every so often in her line of work, there was black.

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