The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

General Chat  || Kitten  || WaV  || Pens  || Mi2  || GMP  || TiE  || FAQ  || Feed - The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 331 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 12  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Lotus (Updated Wed. Feb. 6)
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:53 am 
Offline
6. Sassy Eggs

Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:47 am
Posts: 444
Well, crap.


Even though I kind of expected it (okay, totally expected it, since you confirmed it in your feedback), finding Spike in Tara's kitchen when she expected to find Willow after all this time was really crushing. Holy eff, she even passed out!!!!

I'm sorry for guessing too well! I guess I'll tone it down some. I just really really like figuring stuff out, and your fic is intruiging. Ba-da-bap-ba-bahhhhh, I'm lovin it. Hee.

Ps. Can I marry your Tara? Pretty please? She's yummy.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus (Updated Wed. Feb. 6)
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 7:17 am 
Offline
12. Recently Gay
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:11 pm
Posts: 1666
Topics: 1
Location: Belfast
Good to see that Spike is exactly where I hoped he'd be, but poor Tara, finding that it wasn't Willow in her kitchen, but given the tone of this story it would've been too optimistic to think it would be.

Spike seems more rational in this dimension so between them maybe they can figure things out, and I'm happy that Tara will no longer be alone with just her memories for comfort.

Willow's pain is still so sharp though, that it almost hurts to think about it. But, despite this, there was a sense of optimism for her now she is allowing the world to creep back in.

I love the fact that I can't quite work out where this story is going, and believe me that isn't a criticism, quite the opposite, in fact.

_________________
People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built. Eleanor Roosevelt


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus (Updated Wed. Feb. 6)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:40 am 
Offline
10. Troll Hammer
User avatar

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:36 am
Posts: 1198
Topics: 4
Location: somewhere inbetween here and there
No update this week, Kittens, on account of and in respect for my grandfathers death. Lotus will resume again temporarily on the 20th.

Thanks, guys.

_________________
Lotus


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:50 am 
Offline
19. Yummy Face
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 5:19 pm
Posts: 2943
Location: Kaskinen, Finland, citizen of Kitopia
I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather :sob Take care...

_________________
We few, we happy few. We band of buggered.

Posting While Nude Improves Your Mood.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 7:10 am 
Offline
29. Miss Psycho-pep-squad
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 9:57 am
Posts: 5069
Topics: 1
Location: Halfway to anywhere, citizen of Kitopia
I'm sorry to hear about it, condolences

_________________
|| Fanart...sort of || Short poetry || A little bit of smut never hurt anyone | Nothing left | Promise || Text ||

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew. -Arrigo Boito


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 7:46 am 
Offline
32. Kisses and Gay Love
User avatar

Joined: Sun Dec 03, 2006 11:36 am
Posts: 6222
Topics: 1
Location: Kitopia
I'm sorry for your grandfather.
I wish you and your family all my best.

Friendly,
Julia.

_________________
Broken Dolls |The Stadium's Goddesses | Seeds Of Beauty

"Joie est mon caractère, C'est la faute à Voltaire; Misère est mon trousseau, C'est la faute à Rousseau." Gavroche. Victor Hugo, Les Misérables (chap. XV)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:56 am 
Offline
12. Recently Gay
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:11 pm
Posts: 1666
Topics: 1
Location: Belfast
My condolences to you and your family at this time, may you all find the comfort you need.

_________________
People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built. Eleanor Roosevelt


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:00 pm 
Offline
14. Lesbo Street Cred
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2005 2:26 am
Posts: 1971
Topics: 1
Location: New Zealand
Hi there Rachel, I seem to have missed a few updates during my wee absence, there have been some great chapters! All in all, I love the pacing and mood of this fic, its just so deliciously tortured and everyone is in pain…which is just great! (From a reader’s enjoyment point of view, not for the characters themselves!)

Quote:
”Remember the George Forman grill? It’s not so George Forman-y anymore.”


Haha! I chuckled out loud. The rest of Willow’s cooking lesson was cute to start with…and then more than a little sad.

I’m truly sorry to hear about your grandfather, we can wait patiently for your return, take care xx
:peace
Alcy

_________________
Willow Van Helsing...saving the world since 1777Van Rosenberg II - Lord of Ice and Shadow


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 1:19 pm 
Hi Rachel,
Take care of yourself during this particular time. The love and respect you voluntarily continue to shower on him will hopefully help you in feeling and expressing your own emotions. The link is always maintained.

Sending warm wishes over,
Vi


Top
  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:08 am 
Offline
18. Breast Gal
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 9:11 pm
Posts: 2785
Location: Shenandoah Valley, Virginia
Hi!

Sorry for not checking in earlier. No excuses, just sorry. And sorry about your grandfather. I've been there and it's not fun.

1. I like this fic. You're absolutely right about it being heavily steeped in canon. Honestly, I tend to shy away from those because they've kind of been beaten to death, but it's nice to read one that's so thoughtfully done.

2. Talk to katjetson about gerunds. She'll know what I mean.

3. Keep up the good work.

Diane

_________________
The dlline Short Fic Thread


Last edited by dlline on Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 1:42 am 
Offline
6. Sassy Eggs
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 23, 2006 3:54 am
Posts: 465
Things are slowly falling into place .. I hope Willow finds the way soon! :D

_________________
Patience is a virtue I have yet to acquire
-- me


I am my beloved and my beloved is mine
-- King Solomon's Song of Songs


Only reality can escape the limits of our imagination
-- Rivka Galchen, Atmospheric Disturbances


Man is nothing else but that which he makes of himself
-- Jean-Paul Sartre


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:52 pm 
Offline
10. Troll Hammer
User avatar

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:36 am
Posts: 1198
Topics: 4
Location: somewhere inbetween here and there
Thank you, everyone, for your patience and well-wishes. I miss my grandfather terribly, but for a 90 year-old Rabbi, he did pretty darn well. The funeral was spectacular, shiva was enlightening, and I’m trying to take some comfort in knowing he’s closer to me now, just in a different way.

Ok, feedback!

jay/wt4evr:
Good dibsing! For some reason, the KB wouldn’t let me delete my post, so I had to settle for just editing the extras. Enjoy the update.


Zampsa:
That was incredibly sad, wasn’t it? I’ll do my best to make sure they get together soon. : ) Thanks for reading, enjoy the update.


Wimpy:
Y’know, I liked Spike right until the end of Season 6(along with the rest of BtVS). But then they messed with his character and threw three seasons of work down the tubes. I’m trying to redeem him a bit here. We’ll see how well I can pull it off. Thanks for always reading, and enjoy the update.


satinpaper:
Hello, and welcome! I’m glad you’ve been enjoying thus far, let’s see if I can keep it up, k? I like Spike and Tara. And it was such a delight to see Tara’s snarky ‘A cramp in your pants?’ line that threw Spike off in “Older and Far Away”.
Thanks for your praise and well wishes, I hope I have a happy, productive writing process as well!


magicdanw:
Also hello, and welcome! I’m glad you think highly of Spike, too. He’s a wonderful kinda guy. He reminds me of the softie at heart who was bruised by crappy circumstances and pretends to be this big bad ass. Kinda like Faith. ‘Cept she’s got a whole lotta sexy going on. You flatter me with your kind words! * blushes * I’ll do my best! Enjoy the update.


katjetson:
I’m sorry to keep hearing that I’m causing you various types of pain and torture. Every update you describe a new kind of anguish. Sorry to break you, sweetums! I’m glad I’m killing you there, though. Means I can still dig that knife in deep (yay me?). And Spike in an apron is almost as good as Spike watching Passions. But yours is a much better visual. :P


Jujuderossie:
Fuggedaboutit, updates are here when you’re ready, not the other way around. But I’m glad to see you back : ) Enjoy the update.


LestatDraconis:
I forgot how good of a word ‘slack’ is, until you reminded me. ;) Wow, really, I’m both honored and flattered you think that highly of my words. Phoenix is some kind of wonderful, isn’t she? I like Spike de-slimed fo’ sho’. And Tara is just….yummy. Squee away! Thanks so much, and enjoy the update!


nimloth:
Vi’, you’re an old soul, aren’t you? Again, you made me realize things about this chapter I had not consciously done. You’ve nailed the title, congrats on being the first to verbally do so.
Although the possibilities the technology provides are magnificent, there is a huge negative side in that feelings can become commodified, not only on the internet, but in general society as well. People have to be wary of anything and conscious of everything. Thank you for letting me know and bellieving I haven’t betrayed our girls.


taraslove:
I complained, but only jokingly so. Please don’t stop your brainstorming in trying to figure things out. It’s refreshing and exciting and terribly engaging. Speaking of engaging, fic-ly speaking, you and Tara have my blessing. May you have a long and happy union…..after I finish my story. Enjoy, dollface.


Paint the Sky:
Hello, again! I’m happy Tara is no longer alone as well. She was in dire need of the company, wouldn’t you say? Even if it isn’t Willow, Spike’s better than nothing, isn’t he? Thanks so much for reading, enjoy the update!


Alcy:
Welcome back! We missssssssed you. I haven’t left fb on VR, but I adored your last chapter. Absolutely loved it. I’m like a sick moth to a flame when it comes to your stories, Alcy! ‘Deliciously tortured’, what a yummy phrase. Yay! I made you laugh! Isn’t Willow adorable? I can’t get enough. Tara too, but there’s something endlessly entertaining about the words that come out of Willow’s mouth.


dlline:
Hey, Diane, welcome!
1. I know of your general distaste for all things canon, so I’m tickled you found the patience to read though my widdle story and that you liked it enough to say so.
2. check.
3. Thank you, I’ll do my bestest.


LittleBit:
Hello again, friend! Glad to see you. Bit by bit the puzzle is clicking, eh? Good to know! Enjoy the update.

_________________
Lotus


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:39 pm 
Offline
10. Troll Hammer
User avatar

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:36 am
Posts: 1198
Topics: 4
Location: somewhere inbetween here and there
Title: Lotus
Author: Zooeys_Bridge(Rachel)
Email: rsietz@gmail.com
Rating: PG(for now)
Disclaimer: Joss and ME own their characters. I’m just adding a little bit of spice. And not making a profit.
Spoilers: This is heavily steeped in canon, so be wary of all of it.
Feedback: Yes, please! This is my first story, so please feel free to scribble away with red pen. It’s highly encouraged.
Acknowledgements: As usual, thanks to Kat but an extra one for Diane and all her help!



[center].::Lotus::.[/center]




This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I’ve left behind
A simple thought to occupy my mind
This one goes out to the one I love


This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I’ve left behind
A simple prop has occupied my time
This one goes out to the one I love

::Rosie Thomas, The One I Love::


Buffy shuffled into the kitchen just in time to see Xander grabbing a carton of juice from the fridge. He pulled a glass from the cabinet over the sink and turned, offering her a cheery salutation.


“Ahh, mornin’, Buff. I see you’re all rise with the shine.”


The morning Slayer greeted him with less enthusiasm, grabbed a cup for herself and motioned for him to pour her some juice as well before slumping into a chair. She drained the tangy orange liquid in a few gulps, put the glass down onto the counter, and grunted a reply. “Ugh. Mornings? So not my thing.”


“Funny, considering how many times you get to see it after a whole night of not sleeping.”


Since the juice had little effect on her ravenous appetite, Buffy shot Xander a look of pure unamusement before getting up to grab a box of Pop-Tarts from the shelf.


Xander returned the look with one of his own, as he asked, “Which leads me to my next question: How is it you’ve clearly never been introduced to the world of breakfast foods before?”


With a look of mock offense on her face, Buffy held up a foil-encrusted package, “I’m all about the breakfast foods! This? Total nutrition. It’s a meal in pancake form.”


Xander raised his eyebrows and countered, “Yeah, if normal pancakes had partially hydrogenated soybean oil, high fructose corn syrup, and big-named chemicals starting with the letter ‘x’ in them that no-one-can-pronounce, then sure… color them nutritious.”


The sound of footsteps thundering down the stairs interrupted the wildly entertaining conversation. Dawn strutted into the kitchen, and squealed at Buffy, “Oooh, Pop-Tarts? Sa-weet!” She yanked the other sugar bomb out of the package and promptly began devouring it with gusto.


Buffy threw her hands up in frustration. “Have you no respect for your elders?”


“Actually, I’m a few thousand years old. So, technically? I’m older than you.”


Before the sisterly affections got out of hand, Xander interrupted, “Ooookay, I think that’s enough breakfast talk for now. Hows about I take Dawnie here out for a tour of her happy new Hellmouthy home?”


Despite the fact that her mouth was still full, Buffy tried to speak, “Mmm! Xander, don’t forget to bring the plans back before school starts.” She turned to Dawn, wagged her finger, and continued, “And you, missy, best behavior. Don’t even think about trying to steal Tito’s hammer again. I won’t get in the way of the angry carpenter next time.”


Dawn rolled her eyes and huffed, “Omigod. For the tenth time, Xander dared me to.”


Xander shook his head and smiled nervously as he quickly shuffled Dawn out, waving to Buffy as they left.


The kitchen felt hollow now, empty of all nose and sound. The silence slowly settled like a cloak and hummed against her skin. Buffy turned back around to face the window above the sink and stared into the sunlight.


She watched the particles float in and out of the flickering shadows of the blinds, swirling and dancing in the luminous rays. They warmed Buffy’s face as she closed her eyes, letting her skin soak up the soft moment for a long while.


Then, she grabbed the phone from the cradle, dialed, and waited for the call to go through. After a moment, she heard a small click as someone picked up.


“Giles?”

[center]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/center]


The first thing she noticed was the sound. It pounded and pulsed everywhere.


With a groan, Tara tried to sit up but a sharp twinge forced her to fall back down. As the pain subsided, she realized the loud sound was, in fact, her head throbbing. As she reached up to rub her temple, Tara opened her eyes tenderly and blinked several times to get used to the light.


She found herself lying on the couch in the living room, and again attempted to sit up. This time, however, she was met with success.


From the left, she heard, “Careful, luv. You hit the floor hard, bound to leave a mark.”


In a flourish of panic and alarm, Tara fell off the couch and scrambled back as fast as she could, hitting the far wall with a thump. She clutched her chest and felt her heart pound. “W-w-wh…” Too shocked and rattled to speak clearly, Tara cursed herself, and tried again. “What are you?” she hissed.


“What, you don’t know me? Spike. Vampire. Big Bad. Helped you Samaritans out of the goodness of my own heart.”


Tara shook her head, still crouched on the floor. She was about to speak when Spike interrupted her.


“And I should be askin’ you the questions here, luv. You’re the one that died,” he finished and slumped back into the couch.


The blood in her veins turned to ice.


What?


Somewhere, Tara vaguely remembered feeling numb in the tips of her fingers.


Spike examined his fingernails and reclined in his seat, hoisting his feet up onto the tabletop. “Great. So I’m stuck in some crazy dimension with Red’s dead bird. Brilliant.”


Dead. Is that what all this is?


Tara heard his words through a fog. Time had slowed in a tiny space of her mind. Endless days passed through her mind, reflecting the lonely hours that had loomed ahead, scratched bare of hope or belief.


She remembered the first few terrifying and horrific days. But nothing, nothing had been worse than the first moments.


Willow was radiant. The room had glowed. No, she had glowed with an intense love that warmed Tara right to the gut like a shot of whiskey. It started in the throat, trickled down into her bowels, and spread through her system, leaving Tara merrily drunk in its stead.

Everything was perfect.

She should have known, right then, when people are happiest on the Hellmouth, that something wrong would happen. Blinded by Willow-light, Tara hadn’t heard the window shatter. She hadn’t registered anything other than her love’s beauty marred.

“Your shirt…” she had said before she tripped, numbed and shocked, to the ground.

She had to get up. Willow was covered in blood. She must have been hurt. Willow was hurt, and Tara had to get to her. She pushed the cold away and scrambled to her feet, desperate to help her lover.

“WILLOW!”

The room was gone. Willow was gone.

Tara snapped around, her hair whipping the side of her face, causing several strands to catch at the side of her mouth.

She faced the White.

Piercing ivory surrounded her on all sides and she tried to find her way back. The air was thick; cottony and unyielding. Tara yelled and sprinted forward with her arms outstretched. As if a giant wall had suddenly relented, Tara’s momentum propelled her through the White and downward as it gave way, causing her head to smack into the maroon carpeted floor.

She forced her head up, and used her hands to push herself unsteadily to her knees. Darkness pressed on the backs of her eyelids, but she stubbornly wobbled up.

She jolted forward, “NO!”

The room was back. But Willow was gone.



Tara had spent countless nights screaming into nothing and days frantically searching Sunnydale for any signs of life. She hadn’t showered. She hadn’t rested. She hadn’t eaten. She hadn’t done anything except look for a way back. And when that hadn’t worked, she found herself melting in sobs of hysteria.


She had finally succumbed to exhaustion and slept for 33 drugged hours. It had been the only time she had slept through the night since.


Spike’s words were far away, but eventually they seeped into Tara’s ear and registered at once. Her head snapped up and she looked wildly into Spike’s eyes. “What?”


Realization slowly dawned on Spike and he looked at her with a hint of curiosity.


Oh, bollocks.


“You really don’t know, do you?” He asked softly.


Tara shook her head.


Spike let a long sigh and ran his hand through his hair. “Word on the streets says you died a few months back. Shot.”


Ice filled her chest.


No, it can’t be.


“No,” she said firmly, speaking more to herself than to him. “Willow was shot.”


I can’t be the one that’s shot. That means I’m gone and she’s all alone. I would never leave Willow.


Her stomach churned and her throat pounded. Tara began to rock back and forth, shaking her head forcefully. “No, she can’t be all alone. I promised I’d never leave again. I-I p-promised. I’d never l-leave.”


Air couldn’t come fast enough. It seemed to evaporate the moment it entered her lungs. She tried to gulp it down, but her breathing hitched and gave way to a sob. And that sob to another.


Suddenly, there seemed to be no end to the river that flowed out of her. She cried for all the nights she had spent grasping a pillow to her breast hoping to shake the darkness from her heart. She cried for the mornings she woke with screams and the sound of a window shattering echoing in her ears. She cried for herself. But mostly she cried for Willow. And how it was that she existed without her.


Spike watched solemnly as Tara sat in the corner having a quiet meltdown. He didn’t quite know what to do, but he felt heavy and uncomfortable. Unsure, but determined to do something, Spike got off the couch and awkwardly began to rub her back. Through her tears, Tara clutched onto Spike and gave herself over to the only arms that had held her in months.


Spike gathered her close and rocked her in sympathy, slowing her frantic shaking while the shadows lengthened on the wall.


And there she sat, hunched on the floor, crippled by grief and bruised by circumstance as she let her aching heart cry.

_________________
Lotus


Last edited by Zooeys_Bridge on Thu Feb 21, 2008 12:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 4:02 pm 
Offline
5. Willowhand
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:52 pm
Posts: 297
Location: Alberta
Diberooski!

It would seem that Smith produces some mighty fine writers indeed!

I’ve been just lurking (sorry about that) but this update was so beautiful that I had to tell you.

How wonderfully Tara that upon learning of her own death she would worry only that Willow is all alone; that she had broken her promise and left her again. So, so tragic. And beautifully characterised, Rach.

And I love Spike in this exchange! Tries to start off all sarcastic with the “Red’s dead bird” but succumbs to his inner caring self. I’m trying to get a fix on where exactly we are in canon, Spike is back from being newly ensouled but before he hangs in the school basement? But he has come back to find himself in an alternate dimension with Tara. The new soul is definitely working for him!

Quote:
Through her tears, Tara clutched onto Spike and gave herself over to the only arms that had held her in months.
This was an absolutely heartbreaking line. No one should be without hugs! Ever!

And what kind of time overlap are we talking about here? Is it possible that Tara and Spike are sitting on the couch while Buffy is in the kitchen talking to Giles? Is it just a shroud of near-death separating them (or maybe a L'Engle tesseract is needed!)? I know you can’t really answer me but I am having fun speculating all the same!

Your description of the shooting was heart wrenching. I still can’t watch the bleedin’ scene at all but reading Tara’s perspective as bathed in Willow-light as she dies was simply sublime.

Thank you so much, Rachel.

P.S. I am glad you found comfort in shiva and in your new relationship with your grandfather.

_________________
BABY BLOG NOMADIC BLOG GEEKY T's
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. ~Helen Keller


Last edited by masterjendu on Wed Feb 20, 2008 5:44 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 5:35 pm 
Offline
9. Gay Now
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:19 am
Posts: 969
Location: Rochester, NY
Hey, I just noticed your thingie says that you are a Smithie!

Me too. :-D

Great story, I tip my hat atcha for writing it. My life is a bit crazy, so don't count on me for regular feedback -- but I just read it and it is quite engaging, so I will be stopping by to take a gander whenever I can. Id say I was enjoying it -- but its more like rolling around in the sweet sweet aching sorrow of it all. Poor Tara. I wonder how Spike ended up in her cosmic wrinkle of a universe? If he can get there, maybe Willow can too. Poor Willow. My poor aching heart!

I am really sorry to hear about the death of your grandfather. Your attitude sounds upbeat and good -- but it's hard, and I feel for you.

Thanks for sharing your writing, and keep up the good work!

db

_________________
I am, you know.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 5:45 pm 
Offline
5. Willowhand
User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2007 7:19 pm
Posts: 340
I love the sometimes funny and almost-always heart-warming Scoobyage that you portray in between the lost feelings and grief. And Xander being the middle boy-man... I love it!

I've told you all my favorite parts in our email interaction, but I don't remember if I bowed down to this little gem.

Quote:
She cried for herself. But mostly she cried for Willow. And how it was that she existed without her.


Really achingly beautiful, and I've no doubt Will feels the same way -- wondering how she's even alive without her love.

Somethin's gonna give soon. I can almost see your Spike knocking on your brain and telling you what to do next. Go Go Gadget Muse!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:06 pm 
Offline
13. Big Knowledge Woman
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:28 pm
Posts: 1721
Topics: 1
Location: Ohio
Wow, simply fantastic.

I loved your Scooby banter in the kitchen, and I found it to be spot-on. I love it when writers can make us feel like we're watching the show back in the good old days, you know, when it was good.

Now, this whole part where Spike told Tara what had happened to her and then her whole realization just about broke me, especially her being more worried about Willow than herself. Very interesting how she wanted to fight her way out of the "white place" so she could get to Willow. Maybe that strong love and desire to get to Will is what kept her from crossing over.

Great job! Can't wait to see what's next.


Wimpy

_________________
Pam aka Wimpy0729
Restlessness ~ Quickies - The Lovers, The Dreamers & Me

"There was plenty of magic." ~~ Tara


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 9:02 pm 
Offline
6. Sassy Eggs

Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:47 am
Posts: 444
Quote:
Tara began to rock back and forth, shaking her head forcefully. “No, she can’t be all alone. I promised I’d never leave again. I-I p-promised. I’d never l-leave.”




Argh! (Okay, that came out sounding way more piratey than it sounded in my head. It was meant as a general outcry of sorrow for my poor, sweet Tara.) So, yeah, ARGH! That stutter gets me every time.

Here, she's stuck in some bizarro-world hell dimension with Spike (SPIKE!) and all she can think is that Willow will think she left her again and that she won't be able to survive without her. Man. I loved the whole update, of course, but that part just nabbed me in the sorry little heart. And you know what's coming - I love it! Keep it up.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:03 am 
Offline
19. Yummy Face
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 5:19 pm
Posts: 2943
Location: Kaskinen, Finland, citizen of Kitopia
Great update-y goodness... Now Tara knows that she died... I hope with that piece of information she is able to find a way back to her love... maybe even bring Spike back also...

_________________
We few, we happy few. We band of buggered.

Posting While Nude Improves Your Mood.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:44 am 
Offline
29. Miss Psycho-pep-squad
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 9:57 am
Posts: 5069
Topics: 1
Location: Halfway to anywhere, citizen of Kitopia
Good thingTara isn't dead that much not to be able to go back!!
yippeeeee :party

_________________
|| Fanart...sort of || Short poetry || A little bit of smut never hurt anyone | Nothing left | Promise || Text ||

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew. -Arrigo Boito


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 4:25 am 
Offline
6. Sassy Eggs
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 23, 2006 3:54 am
Posts: 465
you captured Tara's anguish superbly .... keep the updates coming! :D

_________________
Patience is a virtue I have yet to acquire
-- me


I am my beloved and my beloved is mine
-- King Solomon's Song of Songs


Only reality can escape the limits of our imagination
-- Rivka Galchen, Atmospheric Disturbances


Man is nothing else but that which he makes of himself
-- Jean-Paul Sartre


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:01 am 
Offline
18. Breast Gal
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 9:11 pm
Posts: 2785
Location: Shenandoah Valley, Virginia
Well, you know that I liked this update and thanks for the shout out. I hope that the assistance proved helpful to you.

Keep up the good work.

Diane

_________________
The dlline Short Fic Thread


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 2:22 pm 
Offline
3. Flaming O
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:04 am
Posts: 129
Location: Bucharest, Romania
God, poor Tara! All the torment of not knowing and the loneliness, in that abyss of sound for months (while Willow longs for silence at the Coven)! That looks like a new concept of hell dimension. I wonder how she tried to make sense of her situation. She „saw” Willow being shot, but still couldn’t admit to herself that she might be dead? What exactly did she assume that happened to Willow? Somehow it seems that Willow was her only thought and hope, Willow was going to walk in and then everything will be explained and solved. That and memories. Willow on the other hand is hopeless, I really liked how you described it:

But every tendril she followed in the system drew to a forsaken shuddering end. It might have all been connected, but none of it led back to Tara.

Well, now that Tara knows, I figure she’ll turn more proactive. Maybe she'll try to find that connection leading to Willow.

So, yeah, really great update, don't leave us wondering for too long! :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 11:04 pm 
Offline
2. Floating Rose

Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2008 4:54 pm
Posts: 29
Location: Australia
Quote:
“And I should be askin’ you the questions here, luv. You’re the one that died,” he finished and slumped back into the couch.


The blood in her veins turned to ice.


What?


These lines just floored me and I actually made a funny choked sound.

For unknown reasons, I've only just found this story, but man alive I'm glad I did. Each update has made my heart lurch in my chest, reading of a Scooby gang so saturated with grief.

Your writing is stunning, thank you for sharing it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:48 am 
An old soul Rach ? As in spiritual vampirism? Jokes apart, thank you…that sounds nice. May I join the flock and add that it's your writing rather that reminds me of old soulish visioning. It's beautiful.

The mystical twist related through Tara's glasses was not what I had been expecting and it's given your chapter an original outlook on the issue. This new Tara-Spike interaction creates a corresponding sense of chagrin in that you provided us with access to both remorse and regret. How you go about healing the hearts of the two girls after that ought to be really interesting.

Vi'


Top
  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:32 pm 
Offline
12. Recently Gay
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:11 pm
Posts: 1666
Topics: 1
Location: Belfast
So Tara now realises she is dead, or maybe she now just accepts it. Beautiful description of her disbelief and then dispair at Spikes clumsy admission.

I can only imagine the anguish she went through in her first day's. It must have been horrible to go from a world of love and 'family' to be completely and utterly alone, and how very like her to have her first thought be of how Willow must be feeling.

I wonder if your Spike knows all of the tale, and will he keep his mouth shut if he does?

Still don't know where this one is going, but I'm still loving the journey.

Thank you for the update.

_________________
People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built. Eleanor Roosevelt


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. Feb. 20th))
PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:33 am 
Offline
10. Troll Hammer
User avatar

Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:36 am
Posts: 1198
Topics: 4
Location: somewhere inbetween here and there
masterjendu:
Hello, you! Tara’s the selfless sort, isn’t she? SHe does wonders, goes to new depths(see: Phoenix, Tara_the The Lamb), and never ceases to amaze. I’m so glad she’s ours.
The time overlap is something to think about, isn’t it? I’m working on something that will flush that out a bit. Thanks for delurking to tell me what’s workin’ for you, it really means so much to hear what pulls and hurts and makes reading a worthy experience. So thank you, for making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :)



db:
Hahaha, really? Go Smith. I meant to send you a PM, but haven’t had the chance. So expect questions galore from me for you ‘bout that.
Well, glad to see you! And thanks for reading, I’m glad you’re enjoying, albeit painfully, my little tale. Hope next time to come, your heart will have eased a bit :-P


katjetson:
Aah, the Scoobyage. It’s like a sip of cough syrup, really soothes(if only for a second or two) the angst, don’t it? Oh yeah, Will’s barely hanging on. She’s there, but by a thread. Let’s sew her back up, shall we? How were the Raves? Brilliant, I hope. Cold and flu is spreading like....well, the cold and flu. Feel better.


wimpy:
You constantly flatter me, I feel almost worthy of it :-P But really, thanks.
I’m a fan of the Scooby banter. Hahaha ‘when it was good’, that made me laugh. Joss really F-ed that one up, didn’t he? * siiiigh *
There’s a reason for everything, I promise. You’ll see everything pan out, including the White. But hot damn, W/T have one powerful bond, don’t they? Enough to still have yuppies like us writing about it!


taraslove:
Pirate away! You’d think National Talk Like A Pirate Day and National Eyepatch Day would be on the same day….but no. Plus, it seems fitting that the author of a swashbuckling adventure tale should give a good “Aaargh” once in a while. That damn stutter is so freaking adorable! I have a small moment of Willow-babble when something cute-as-anything comes out, but when it happens in a heartbreaking moment like that, it really crushes, doesn’t it? I vow to have many cute-as-anything stutter moments in the future, k?


Zampsa:
Thank you, friend! Tara realizing she was the one that does is a big step forward, so things can only get better from there. Hurdle 1 overcome! Woo-hoo!


jay/wt4evr:
Oooh, I love that bouncing finger happy face icon. It makes me want to dance! Whee! Thanks, jay!


LittleBit:
Aah, thank you thank you. I’m glad to be the deliverer of strong feelings. I’m just sad that it’s of such pain and angst filled ones :P


dlline:
Hello again! Sorry I haven’t gotten back to your PM yet. Life is….kinda hectic like, always. But soon I’ll sit down and do it. Thanks so much for reading, enjoy the smallish bit.


satinpaper:
Your avatars never fail to amuse me. Last time it was pretty, now it makes me ponder and smile. Sunny side up eggs and tiny people? What’s not to like?
Mmm ‘abyss of sound’, that’s a good phrase! I think it’s so interesting what other people point out things that I myself have missed. That contrast between what Tara has and what Willow so desperately wants. Huh. Thanks for that, made me think.
Sorry if my flashback thingy wasn’t the clearest thing. Basically, what happened was that Tara, seeing blood, thought Willow was shot. She doesn’t know why she’s in her Sunnydale-limbo, but the entire time she’s thought Willow died, not her. Creepy, in’t it? Anyways, hope that clears it up a bit! Thanks so much, and enjoy the update.


EmsinNz:
Hello, and welcome! I’m glad my writing appeals to you, but gosh! I hope you didn’t choke too badly! Stunning? * blushes * Thank you, I hope to live up to that very kind statement. ! Also ‘saturated with grief’, gosh that really sums everything up, doesn’t it? How beautiful, you should give writing a shot! I have a feeling you have quite a way with words. Thanks again, it means so much that you’re really feeling this story, I hope you like the update.



Title: Lotus
Author: Zooeys_Bridge(Rachel)
Email: rsietz@email.smith.edu
Rating: PG(for now)
Disclaimer: Joss and ME own their characters. I’m just adding a little bit of spice. And not making a profit.
Spoilers: This is heavily steeped in canon, so be wary of all of it.
Feedback: Yes, please! This is my first story, so please feel free to scribble away with red pen. It’s highly encouraged.
Note: Because she liked it so much, this one's for Kat.


[center].::Lotus::.[/center]




Willow felt her then.



Right……there.



A deep pang of Tara that sliced her open and made her gasp with hurt. The pain was suddenly everywhere. She felt it echo and pound around her, dragging her down into the deep. Willow cried out, felt her knees buckle, and the world spin.


In a flash, Giles dipped to catch Willow where she fell, and kneeled in the grass, holding her strongly. The ground was damp from the rain the day before, and tiny water bubbles surfaced as his boots squished into the grass. He had missed the subtle nuances of the earth while in Sunnydale. The pristine California sunshine had spoiled him, but here he remembered how to relish the wet mornings and early fog. They rooted him, deep and ancient, into the countryside. He felt more connected than he had in a long time. In the end, maybe that was why he had brought Willow here. Perhaps here she could feel the rustic strength and wisdom that infused the weary and the lost. Including him.


Laden with Willow’s dead weight, Giles counted the moments until she regained consciousness. He never got used to them, but eventually grew accustomed to the bouts of heartache and agony that overwhelmed Willow and forced her to the ground. He knew the blackouts were connected with her lessons. The new magicks introduced into her black-scarred system were bound to have their bumps and bruises along the way. She needed to re-learn how to use the light she was given.


He sighed.


I was so blind. So foolishly blind.


He knew the dirty residuals that rehabilitation created, clinging like sand to clammy flesh. It had haunted him in dark corners when Slaying business had retired for the evening and he was left alone in his house with naught but a smooth glass of scotch for company. How little he had touched magic since the days of Ripper. He let the power shrivel inside, too afraid to wrestle with his own potential. For good or bad, he didn’t care to find out.


The dank guilt of his deeds tumbled inside of him for decades, sequestered, but never forgotten. It nagged on his conscious and pulled often, like a gentle tug. Don’t forget me, it said.



He never forgot.



He did, however, hoard his flaws, like nuts for the winter, keeping them safe and secret. And because he was narrow in his ways and determined not to let the past repeat itself, he inadvertently let the future happen. He ignored the warning signs and led his daughter astray. His fears and shortcomings had led to her downfall, and he would not be so quick as to let it happen ever again.



And so he held her protectively, and waited for her to return.



As the third minute slowly ticked by, Giles felt Willow stir.



Gently, he thought.


He watched her eyelids tremble and flutter. Her green eyes, dull like frosted sea glass, quivered open and she looked up at the pale sky. A moment passed as she stared blankly, her gaze passing over the faraway clouds. Willow’s face strained as she pursed her lips, closed her eyes, and exhaled through her nose.


Giles was uncomfortable, and felt like he was intruding on a desperately private moment. He quietly cleared his throat, and soft as a lamb’s breath asked, “Are you alright?”


Eyes still closed, Willow nodded and pressed her head into Giles’ sleeve. “Can you just….hold me for a moment? Please?”


“I’d love nothing more.” With that, he kissed the top of her head, and gazed at the spongy green hills across the valley, crowned with clusters of trees, as the sun made it’s way, tumbling through the sky.


His eyes were filled with green and his hand with red as Giles absentmindedly stroked Willow’s hair. Thoughts of his recent phone call circled lazily in his mind, lingering like day-old baked goods at the grocery store.


Buffy’s voice had warmed him instantly. The brittle ice surrounding his spirit melted with the spring of her bright greeting. His eyes had crinkled at the corners like tissue paper when he smiled. He had forgotten, just for a moment, that there was more to the world than pain and grief.


Trust Buffy to remind me.


It was more that just a phone call, really. Buffy had sounded much more collected than she had in quite some time. There wasn’t a secret weariness or reluctant acceptness that tinged her every move. Buffy seemed…ready. And Giles was proud of her. She had done it all on her own, and he knew at what cost.


The call started innocently enough, with light banter sprinkled in like cinnamon, but soon he could hear the nervous curiosity that tinged her voice. It was a full twelve minutes before he even broached the topic of Willow.



“Giles, are you sure? I though this was supposed to be a six month shindig. Now you’re telling me she’s ready all of a sudden?”


“Buffy, this not about it being sudden. She doesn’t have a choice in the matter, it’s time.”


“Time for what, the Copacabana? This isn’t some sort of Coven initiation test, is it? See if she goes all Dark-Eyed-Magic-Mamma again at ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign? ‘Cause I don’t much like the sound of that.”


Giles’ loud sigh could be heard muffled into the receiver. “Some matters have merely been taken into account, and we’ve come to the realization that it’s time for Willow to go back. No tests, no dark magic, no experiments.”


There was a pause.


“’We’ve come’? Giles, does Will even know she’s coming back yet?”




A lack of motion made Giles realize his hand had stilled, and was now resting heavily atop Willow’s head. He looked down to see that she had cradled her fist beneath her chin and was clutching her other arm close to her chest. Her eyes still stared blankly into the hills beyond.



I can put this off longer, it’s time. Lord help me.



Ever so gently, Giles took his hand and nudged Willow’s chin, tilting her head so she looked up at him. He stared deep into her eyes, leaden and weary, and felt the weight of a world on his shoulders.



Forgive me, Willow. I know you didn’t want any of this. Least of all to go back.



He took a deep breath to steel himself, felt the saturated air permeate every pore in his lungs with a primordial strength, then met her gaze. “Willow,” he began. “We must talk.”

_________________
Lotus


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. March 5th))
PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:44 am 
Offline
19. Yummy Face
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 5:19 pm
Posts: 2943
Location: Kaskinen, Finland, citizen of Kitopia
Yay for good update-y goodness... I hope Willow is strong enough to go back to Sunnyhell without collapsing... I really really hope that Tara soon finds her way back to her Willow because Willow really needs her Tara now...

_________________
We few, we happy few. We band of buggered.

Posting While Nude Improves Your Mood.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. March 5th))
PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 9:56 am 
Offline
12. Recently Gay
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:11 pm
Posts: 1666
Topics: 1
Location: Belfast
That was a beautiful chapter. You really got to the core of Giles:

Quote:
The dank guilt of his deeds tumbled inside of him for decades, sequestered, but never forgotten. It nagged on his conscious and pulled often, like a gentle tug.

He did, however, hoard his flaws, like nuts for the winter, keeping them safe and secret


I don't know if I've ever seen a better analysis of his character. Sequestered is a gorgeous word, and so apt for him.

I can't wait now to see how Willow will react to the news of her return to Sunnydale, and just how much that brief but painful connection to Tara will affect her. I wonder if Tara felt Willow too, or maybe her own pain has masked it?

_________________
People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built. Eleanor Roosevelt


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated Wed. March 5th))
PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:17 am 
Offline
13. Big Knowledge Woman
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:28 pm
Posts: 1721
Topics: 1
Location: Ohio
OMG

Quote:
Willow felt her then.

Right……there.

A deep pang of Tara that sliced her open and made her gasp with hurt. The pain was suddenly everywhere. She felt it echo and pound around her, dragging her down into the deep. Willow cried out, felt her knees buckle, and the world spin.


Wow, and that was just the beginning of such a beautifully descriptive but sad update. Your words brought the imagery of the countryside to life, from the bubbles coming up from the sodden earth to the green and rolling hills. Man, I could almost see and smell everything. Simply beautiful.

Giles sure has a huge burden to bear. Not only his Ripper past, but he feels like he let his children down. I never really understood the reasoning of him going back to England on the show, but that's just one of the things on my long list of things that made me go WTF?

I still have faith that you're going to fix some of those things for us here, and I'm really anxious for you to get with the fixing. I'm hoping Willow coming back home will be that start, so now I'm really anxious to see what you have in store for us next.


Wimpy

_________________
Pam aka Wimpy0729
Restlessness ~ Quickies - The Lovers, The Dreamers & Me

"There was plenty of magic." ~~ Tara


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 331 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 12  Next

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 14 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron

W/T Love 24/7 since July 2000
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group