The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated October 11, 2010))
PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:50 pm 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dibs.

Back later with something better than a guttural scream.

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"I like my buttons, curvy." - Willow, Neverland, by Easiersaid


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated October 11, 2010))
PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 7:42 pm 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Wow...just...wow. This is haunting and beautiful. I'm glad to see you return to it.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated October 11, 2010))
PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 8:03 pm 
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10. Troll Hammer
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Promised Feedback! Thanks so much everyone. This goes back over a year, so I hope it isn't too lame.

Jasmydae: Glad you got dibs! Hope you've read it by now! :P

Zampsa1975: Thanks, me too. You'll eventually see that communication isn't so easy…

mixxie: yay! another one!

magicdanw: Me too, glad to see its back, even if for a little while.

masterjendu: Ah, Jen. I love your words. Your feedback has always inspired me to try harder at the writing game (as its gotten tougher), and feel good at what this story has already accomplished. I'm glad the character vignettes are speaking to you, just hope they continue to do so. Belated Board congrats on the wedding!!

nimloth: Again, your feedback is always very heartfelt and impactful. I read it several times to best understand what you mean to say, and do my best to think of it while I work. Plus, as a big fan of 'art' (and all it encompasses) I'm truly touched by your compliments. I only hope Lotus continues to hold up as time wears on. Thanks, friend.

ophelia11: No worries! I am not only woefully negligent on FB, but on updating as well. Guilty of two follies, hope you can forgive me. I'm glad you like the 'pairing' nature of the story, dunno how/why I started doing that, but its stuck ever since.
I love that our characters are so deeply flawed. And in their flaws, lies many of their greatest strengths. Its such a double-edged sword, especially for Willow - it lands her into all sorts of trouble, how good intentions lead to ill-intended outcomes, and how out-of-control it can all get. I'm glad Giles apologized, too.
And, as a huge fan of your writing as well, I'm deeply flattered by your praises. Thanks ever so much, hope you enjoy the update!

spells42: Thanks! Senior year was great, (it was college/university) and now that I'm back at home, surprisingly little time is found for writing. But its often on my mind, and I thought to share a little more. Thanks for coming back :)

AmberGoddess: Thank you! I promise not to give up, even though updates may be a year apart. I must apologize on behalf of the state of my writing speed- it regrets to produce more.

cammy: yes! here's one right now! :P

Foomatic: Dear dear Foo. I can't believe you stayed up and reread this whole darn thing after putting the baby to sleep. A weaker woman would have succumbed to utterly crashing. While I love love love all the wonderful things you've said about Lotus (and really, they are wonderful- you spurred a writing burst back in March!) it strikes me as funny that two words to describe Lotus couldn't be farther from describing me - mature and succinct. Aah, made me smile. (Secret? I also love that scene with Willow in the wardrobe. I think its the best one I've written - that and the tea. Dunno where either came from, but damn am I glad it came out somewhere)
And I think, as a BDF(big damn fan), I owe you a great apology for keeping the answers from you. But, I can promise that by the time Mattie goes to college, this thing better damn well be done. Thanks for the gentle reminder, I'll never forget. Congrats on the dibs, you deserve it!

sapphoselene: Thank you! My favorite fics on Pens tend to be ones that keep my heart pounding, so glad I could make your imagination race!

LonelyTara: Thank you! Haunting is a word I like a lot, and one that resonates powerfully with me when I read other post S6 fics (Terra Firma and Tempus Fugit are the biggies for me). Thanks for saying so, I'm tickled. While I never quite leave Lotus, it does get harder and harder for me to find my way back. Thanks for reading, its good to know there are still some readers out there :)

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated October 11, 2010))
PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 2:11 am 
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19. Yummy Face
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Yay for great update-y goodness... I hope Spike tells Buffy about Tara so they can tell Willow and start planning to get her back...

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated October 11, 2010))
PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:52 am 
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8. Vixen
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Amazing. Of course, I found this with your most recent update. So many things are very striking.

Willow as a widow in a very deep grieving pattern and feeling guilty for leaving Tara when she went after Warren.

Giles' apology.

The description of the shadows under Dawn's eyes that Buffy can't ignore, and her own decision to be as helpful as she can with the random though of her own action figure.

Anya trying to wrap her mind around what has happened and the frailty of the human condition and still feeling left out of the grief felt by the group. Oddly wishing Willow would come home and things could go back to the way they were.

Xander feeling so lost without the Scoobies and something dangerous to run headlong into.

Buffy finally feeling real emotion and her resolve to make things better.

The striking image of Tara wandering around a deserted Sunnydale leaving food in empty houses simply for something to do, and the random appearance of Spike and her fight simply to keep the company of someone, even him.

Spike slowly losing himself to his humanity.

Your imagery is beautiful and heart wrenching. You're adding a depth to the holes left behind by the show, that were always left to our (the viewers) imagination and doing it so very well. Not only is your story angst-y but the overwhelming sense of guilt felt by everyone that almost overshadows their grief is real.

What will the hole in the wall of the school bring for both Tara and Spike? My only hope is that the next update comes more quickly.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated October 11, 2010))
PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2010 10:04 pm 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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This was a short chapter, but it still carries with it that characteristic Rachel punch! I love the shift here, where before memories of Tara brought Willow so much pain, but in this scene, the memories are what stops the onslaught of Willow's vision of the Hellmouth. And they weren't the big moments of their relationship. It was the simple things, the little, seemingly mundane aspects of life with a lover that are so personal . . . great stuff. Like Huey Lewis said, that's the power of love baby.

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"I like my buttons, curvy." - Willow, Neverland, by Easiersaid


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated October 11, 2010))
PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:36 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey
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[Let's pretend I posted this over a month ago when I started writing it, yes? Ta]

Yes! A Lotus update now that I'm actually registered. I'm taking this opportunity to let you know that I probably won't be able to function properly until this story is completed because the fact that a work as beautiful as this exists unfinished would haunt me constantly. So please keep that in mind :)

In terms of overall feedback, one of my favourite things about this story is the way that you're utilising perfectly all the possibilities of a s7 fic. There was so much guilt and pain accumulated over their six years spent fighting on the hellmouth that the show, and s7 specifically, just completely failed to address. Nowhere is that more evident than in the words you have written here, which create a space where these things become almost inescapable. The Scoobies, as ravaged and messy as they are, exist far more tangibly here than they ever did during s7 (or most of s6 really), a fact that is also evidence of your great love for these characters. It is this that allows me to have complete faith in the fact that what is ravaged and messy and painful to read now will become something oh so wonderful over the course of words to come.

There's a wonderful balance of light and darkness that exists in everything as well. Whether it be physical darkness, the kind of shadows and sundown, the darkness of magic and guilt or the way that the reader is kept in the dark about exactly where it is that Tara is existing, it's all over dark, like Frank Miller's Batman multiplied by film noir dark, and I love it. Like I say though, there's balance and light. It's the light of friendship and love and, most of all, the Willow and Tara light that exists in moments like this, as a most recent example of many moments in this fic that made my heart go all spastic,

Quote:
Willow recalled the way Tara used to sigh into her pillow in the mornings. And how she used to close her eyes when she heard a birdsong. The warm way she'd hug the laundry when it came out of the dryer. Her face after a shower. The color of her lips.


which, despite only being present so far in tiny places of memory, like the past-breaths between the now-words, it never, ever leaves completely. Balance.

I could go on forever, prattling incoherently, because apparently that's the only way I know how to express the kind of awed appreciation stories like yours reduce me to. Instead I'll just beg you to keep working away at this and promise that I'll always be reading, no matter the pace of your progress (see above re: ability to function). Also, Buffy's 'duck' moment? Totally been there. Poor B.

Thanks times infinity for writing and sharing.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated February 11, 2012))
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 9:27 pm 
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10. Troll Hammer
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Well, ladies and gentlemen, I certainly didn't expect to be doing this tonight, but looking through old drafts, I found something I'd worked on. Decided it's good enough to post. After two years, no more tweaking. (Though be forewarned, this is all I've got right now.)

Forgive me for having stopped writing this fic, inspiration just shriveled up. Though know it still means a lot to me and I think about it every so often, and I hope to one day keep Lotus going.

Without further ado:

Title: Lotus
Author: Zooeys_Bridge(Rachel)
Email: rsietz@gmail.com
Rating: PG(for now)
Disclaimer: Joss and ME own their characters. I’m just adding a little bit of spice. And not making a profit.
Spoilers: This is heavily steeped in canon, so be wary of all of it.
Feedback: Yes, please! This is my first story, so please feel free to scribble away with red pen. It’s highly encouraged.

Note 1: The previous chapter and the following take place in Lessons, Episode 1 of Season 7. They're sort of like scenes inbetween what we, the viewers, saw. Think about them logistically and place them chronologically. Any questions, please feel free to ask!


.::Lotus::.


A large pile of bricks had taken up residence on Tara’s chest. The pressure of Spike’s words were immense and sudden. They stole her breath and stabbed her heart.

Buffy?

His hand dropped to his side and eyes that had been so tender and full, looked away and caved in with fear and confusion. He turned away, and raised his arm to his head, and paced backwards.

Tara pushed past the shock that threatened to topple her. There wasn’t time for that right now. This was time for blind Scoobying.

As she rushed forward to stand before him, a calm came forth and settled like a balm. You can to do this. You're an Amazon, remember? “Spike. What do you mean? You said Buffy. Is she here? Do you see her?”

Spike continued pacing. Nothing in his demeanor suggested he'd even heard Tara's questions. Instead, he muttered to himself while the leather coat billowed behind him as his steps became more forceful. He was like a frightened animal and pawed away from her questions and cringed.

Her heartbeat thundered furiously in her ears, but Tara managed to focus on Spike's words. After all, they had brought her here. Who knows where they could take her. You have to do this.

"No visitors today, terribly busy."

All Tara knows is that she has to keep him talking. Keep him going. The last thing she can stand is silence again. But trying to guide him through whatever is happening seems impossible as half of what he says in nonsense.

“Nobody comes in here, it's just the three of us.”

Despite everything, her voice is level and strong, like an Amazon. “Is Buffy here, Spike? What is she doing? Can you talk to her? Is she hurt? Can you tell her I’m here? Can you tell her where I am?”

He finally snaps, “Don’t you think I’m trying! I’m not fast, not a quick study. This is kind of new territory for me. Slayer’s going on and on about some bloody zombies who keep yelling at her and attacking and what the hell is she doing here? Christ, what the hell am I doing here?"

Tara's mind whirled. "Zombies? No, Spike, zombies don't speak. They must be manifest spirits raised to seek vengeance. Tell her there m-might be a talisman or something."

"Not ghosts," he says. The events of the past several hours coalesce under Spike's shoes and tongue as Tara watched his crazy antics. That's it. Tara gritted her teeth. I need him, even if he can't do it himself. "Spike! Tell her-" she grabbed his coat and forced him to look at her. "This is important, goddamn it. I don't know what's going on, but I need you to tell her what I said. Ok?"

The steely blue of Spike's eyes bore into Tara's and in an instant she knew the Poet. She knew the man behind the yellow eyes. And somehow, just for a second, she knew everything could be okay.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated February 11, 2012))
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 9:48 pm 
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8. Vixen
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Dibs!!!!!!

:banana :banana :banana :eatme :eatme :bounce :bounce :bounce :bigwave :bigwave :dance :dance :dance

Needless to say I think you can see I'm happy to see an update to this story. I enjoy its possibilities, and the eeevil little way you leave them to wander around unanswered.

I know you also said not to expect anything anytime soon, but I'm hoping that maybe with enough kitten love we can coax more from you on such a wonderful story. *bats eyelashes and give you the big Margaret Keane eyes... err maybe not they're kind of creepy - but you get the point*.

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated February 11, 2012))
PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 1:01 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Hello ZooeysBridge,
i just found this story and i'm really thrilled that you will continue.
This story ist just more than great! i really love it!
And Vampyregurl is right - so a lot of kittenlove from me ,too :flower :love :love


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((Updated February 11, 2012))
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 3:34 pm 
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10. Troll Hammer
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Hi gang! Author, here.

I just thought you'd like to know I starting writing a little bit more of this story yesterday. I don't know how long the creative burst will last, but I sincerely hope to get more out of it. I've been planning and notetaking and falling in love with these two all over again and it gets even better over time.

Thanks to you last few posters, I'm sorry to have neglected your comments but they still mean the world to me. Not sure how many readers there are left (Foo, besides you, of course) but whoever you are thanks for sticking around!

Cheers, kittens!

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((New note August 20, 2013))
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 4:48 pm 
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10. Troll Hammer
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Image

Proof

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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((New note August 24, 2013))
PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 5:53 pm 
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1. Blessed Wannabe

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why are all the good fics the unfinished ones?
If you're still around, please continue, this is awesome.


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 Post subject: Re: Lotus ((New note August 24, 2013))
PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 7:30 pm 
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Don't worry! Despite current appearances, I'm actually still working on this. I've been taken on a detour since Thanksgiving because of Frozen, but before that, I had written about 7k new words! So don't expect anything any time soon, but I will never give up on Lotus.

It makes me so happy to have somehow snagged a new reader, thank you so much :) :)

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