Hilarious! Dont we all know people like Bill? Why cant these people take a hint?
Really enjoyed how Tara went totally into cop-mode when Mr. Grabby Hands was all over Willow.
I hope you will write another short story about Agent Maclay and Dr. Rosenberg some day. I am looking forward to the book and hope that it is possible to order it via Amazon too.

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"I don't get your crazy system!"
"System? It's called the alphabet!"

I've just added Bill to the mental list of people I would hate to be stuck in an elavator with.

What a brilliant character! Like 'Wilma and Terri', I groaned at his every appearance. And what was worse, my mind immediatley went to Wilma Flintstone, which in turn made Tara/Terri into Betty. Bill has a lot to answer for - lol.

All his talk about getting the girls a couple of guys, and knowing what Tom Jones does for healthy young girls was hilarious.

As were the various musings about throwing him overboard, keel-hauling and suicide as an alternative to sheer mind-numbing boredom.

In the back of my mind I couldn't help but think how Bobby would have had a field day with all this.

Willow singing Deliah - well, that will stay with me longer than I would like - lol.

You know, I though this might have been the worst case of TMI:



but, no, silly me, you outdone yourself with this:



Thanks for that, really. I thought that was the image I was taking to bed, but, thank heavens you obliterated it with some very nice and hot loving.

Even then, Bill manages to make an apperance.

But, such a change. Like Tara, I felt sorry for him - and considering how annoying you had made him in the beginning, it was a very real turnaround in his character.

I imagined an unwritten scene with Sharon, were she sat patiently explaining things to him. Reminding him about when they were young and in-love and wanted only to be alone with other etc. Some people you have to draw pictures for, and Bill is one of these. I could see his face as the truth dawned on him.

It was so good to see Agent Maclay and Professer Rosenberg again, I hadn't realised how much I missed them, until now.

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People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built. Eleanor Roosevelt

Superb!

I had mixed feelings of this Bill guy. He doesn't intend to do any harm but is too self-centered to see what people really want. Actually, maybe that's why he's so annoying. Lack of common sense should be forbidden by law!


Okay, maybe he learned something.

I really loved that speedo swimsuit thing. I had to laugh out loud. Same thing when Tara thought of shooting herself in the head. Not that I'd like that to happen, but it shows how frustrated she is.

I've been missing these two wonderful characters. I hope to meet them again sometime.

I also realized that I haven't read all of your short stories (just the one dealing with cliches, and btw, that was awesome!). I'll have to fix that asap.

As always, a great read! That perfect blend of snarky and smutty that defines a DL Line fic I so agree with the folks who want more of Agent Maclay. If I haven't said it already, congratulations on the Bold Strokes deal. Can't wait to see your books at B&N!!


BAK

Great Story. :-) Bill is just that typ of guy that you meet when you really, really have nooooo time at all for the bullshit that they offer. Or is it just my luck?
Anyway, i'm looking forward to more storys about Agent Maclay and Dr. Rosenberg!

Ah. The urban neanderthal. How very anthropological of you! All of us can relate with this story because we have all dealt with beings such as Bill. You've captured him here with all the finesse of a contemporary Professor, dissecting him for us with every line.

How very evil of you!

Yet what a delight to see the side-by-side antics of team Rosenberg/Maclay, as they tried to deal with the Big Bad of the seas. No doubt they longed for a vacation away from a species such as Bill, eager to retreat from the pawing heavy-handed used-car-salesman types. In an alternate universe, it would have been amusing to see Agent Maclay give in to her urges and tip said neanderthal overboard. We would have cheered.

And just when we thought that Bill had been beat, what with the 'Stop feeling up my girlfriend part', I nearly groaned right with Tara and Willow when he interrupted some quality touchy feely time. At least our favourite girls were able to get right back into the action, something we readers certainly needed by this point. Talk about your slow torture!

All in all, a very pleasant read. Wonderful to be brought into the universe of Agent Maclay and Professor Rosenberg again, especially in this setting. You've definitely demonstrated your considerable word-smithing prowess with some phrases that made me laugh out loud! (To this day, I'll never forget the phrase 'intellectually drawn and quartered' that you used in Rosenberg Files...)

Thanks for the yummy treat!

Phoenix

The only thing worse than being stuck with a complete stranger like Bill is being stuck with someone like Bill who is a relative.
True story, on the way from Iowa to my sister's wedding in Flagstaff, AZ, my family met my Aunt Kay's new boyfriend who was named Bill and is so exactly like the Bill in this story that it is spooky.
Too bad we didn't have Agent Maclay to put him straight about how obnoxious he was being.
The other people Bill reminded me of are the type of people George Carlin, give 'em Hell wherever you are now, discussed in his last stand-up HBO special; the ones who have to show you interminable rolls od photos of their kids and have to tell you every last detail about them in excruciating detail.
He suggested that you tell the truth when looking at these photos and say "Will you look at the head on that kid. Goddamn, that kid's got a head like a frigging eggplant. Put that kid on eBay, you could make millions."
The Bill in the story would be so obtuse as to not get the hint I fear.
Willow and Tara finally got their alone time and we all got vicarious cruise ship smut. YAY!

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I can deny chicks in chainmail nothing.
Amberhol-from the land of sky blue waters.
No Mere Music Hall, This my novel available directly from rosestindog@gmail.com.

Hey, Diane!

Oh, such a joy to see these two at it again. I've missed their adventures so much.

This whole thing was hilarious and yet frustrating for obvious reasons (Bill). I felt so sorry for them. I guess Bill was just being his usual car salesman self, which of course, is so annoying, and you wrote his character so well, you made us hate him right along with our girls.

Well, all the finer points have already been touched on, but the image of him in those Speedos left me quite nauseated, and very glad I'm gay!

I did love the part when "Cop Tara" finally came out and straightened out the guy groping her girlfriend. You know I love butchy Tara.

I'm so glad they finally got their much-needed alone time and we got our hot gay lovin. God, I've missed that. But the ending was cool how they got beyond everything and actually wanted to spend time with Bill and his wife.

Awesome job again and hopefully you'll be giving us more little short stories soon.


Wimpy

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Pam aka Wimpy0729
Restlessness ~ Quickies - The Lovers, The Dreamers & Me

"There was plenty of magic." ~~ Tara

Well, heck. I wanted this to be my 100th post for my cool Yellow Badge, but I guess not. Oh, well.

Again, mucho thanks to everyone for reading. Just a note, every character in this story was a real person. Don’t tell anybody, okay?

And now, the responses.

Willowtree252 – Yes, Dianne…snarky until I die. That’s just the way it works and you’re well aware of this fact. Thanks for the comments.

Zampsa1975 – Yes, Bill is pretty creepy, but I’m glad you liked the story. Thank you.

Kayde – Hey, you can love Bill all you like. I like him, too. Glad you liked the smut. Thanks for the comments.

katjetson – Yes, me, really… imagine that. Is “fanfic time” something like “dog years”? I’m happy to have been able to give you a satisfied laugh (Tara shooting herself in the head was a favorite image of mine, too…like those totally evil and snarky fantasies in Six Feet Under). And drunk Willow…well, I wrote that part of this story over a year ago, so I kind of forgot about the Alcy thing, but I’m sure she won’t mind. Also, I was just as happy as you were that it wasn’t me swirling and hurling, so I totally get where you’re coming from.

Well, thank you and you’re welcome. Talk to you soon.

synthwrr – Hey! Yes, I’m a meanie, and you’re certainly not the first person to tell me this. I’m happy that you were satisfied. Thanks for the comments.

WillowRulez – Hi! How are you?

Thanks. That’s another of my favorite scenes.

Never say never, right? Nothing is in the planning stages right now (well, except for the third book), but that’s always subject to change.

Absolutely. It will be available via Amazon.com as well as on the Bold Strokes Books website. Thanks again.

Paint the Sky – Thanks so much. You leave really great comments. I especially loved your use of the word hilarious. That made me smile. Bill was fun to write because I basically had him do the things that would irritate me the most.

That was my favorite aspect of the story because I know that everyone entertains their own fantasies for given situations, so it’s a great way to develop a character. It’s usually funny, too, so that’s a plus.

Yeah, I agree. I tried to work him in, but I ran out of story. I thought about Bobby picking them up in Baltimore when they got home, but I just didn’t need it. Next time, okay?

It does that to me, too.

You know, I saw that same scene in my head, so Bill’s turnaround made perfect sense to me. I think when Tara told him to leave her alone so she could be alone with her girlfriend, Bill started to get the picture. But I think Sharon filled in the blanks for him. Good catch.

Again, I had a similar reaction. Thanks for the great comments.

PolarBear –
Niiiice! Thank you.

Redemption always makes for a happy ending, so I didn’t want the story to end with everyone thinking that Bill was a lost cause. He’s basically a nice, well-intentioned guy, albeit kind of pushy.

I hope you do that. Please let me know what you think. Thanks for the nice comments.

BadAssKnitter – Thank you so much. Kind words indeed.

Wow. It’s like you know me. Cool.

Noted. Is it wrong that I’m writing fanfiction for my own novel? Seems pretty narcissistic, but that’s nothing new.

Oh, me too. Thanks again.

One of a Kind – Thanks for commenting. I really appreciate it.

No, it happens to me all the time. I don’t know if you read above, but all of the characters (well, except for the girls) are real people in my life. It’s kind of scary, isn’t it?

Again, noted. It just might happen. Thanks again.

Tara the Phoenix – You know how much I love your comments, so thanks for this great set of them. You’re so cool!

Me? Evil? Well, okay.

Like I questioned above to BadAssKnitter, do you think it’s strange that I’m writing fanfic for my own novel.? Is that narcissistic? It’s okay if it is, but I was just curious.

You’re certainly not the first person to call me a literary tease. Truth be told, I like hearing that. It means that I did my job right. Thanks.

You’re always welcome. Thank you.

taralicious – Hi and thanks for commenting.

Yes, I'd have to agree with that.

Hey, I aim to please. Thanks again.

wimpy0729 – Hey, You! I was worried. Glad you made it.

Yeah, me too.

Thanks for that. Means I did it right.

I do know that. Also, I was thinking of you when I put Tara in her Buckeye baseball cap. I know you love that, too.

Well, you know that I have a reputation to maintain by now, so I’m glad that the smut made everyone happy. I aim to please.

Like I said above, redemption always makes for a happy ending, and the reason it took me over a year to finish this story was because I couldn’t find the ending. Chris helped me with this a lot, and I’m glad that you liked it.

Probably, just not sure when. Talk to you soon. Thanks and hugs to your family and the pets.

Diane.

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

Diane - Well, first I'm so sorry that it took me such a long time to get this fedback property. Heck, you know it took me nearly a week to get it read.
I love the contrast here in this whole situation. Here we are familiar with Tara and Willow being in actual physical danger. Of having a dangerous job and situation, crazy people following them around and shooting them and things like that... and what's the real problem? A pushy car-salesman that they can't get rid of? It's kind of amusing, not that I'd want to be on their vacation.

...

See, and I think that's where the girls first went wrong. By pretending to play along. But then we wouldn't get to read this fun time without that would we?

Then you tease us with some nice flirtatious massage/foreplay action and that damn knock at the door. Damn you Bill!

And I've never been on a ship but I can't imagine that hangover is helped by motion sickness (if you're a person who gets it that is).

Yes, I particularly love the type of fun, fun, fun that you have to get out of bed for. Wait no...

Sounds good to me.

Man, there's no fucking way this will end well.

Yep, that's my favorite part right there. Me, the pacifist but still. So well done.

Yay! Bill gets it
Well, I don't want to quote the entire smut but you know how I love some good smut and this is it, baby. Mmm.

Well this Elvis wants to stay and watch...

Oh, that sounds so great.

It was very nice of Tara to make peace with Bill and Shari at the end there.

I love the entire thing. It's nice to see a little interlude and I like to imagine that it's between TRF (now On Dangerous Ground!) and TRP... Thanks for sharing.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Hey, Deb! Glad you could make it. Thanks for reading. (oh, and I have my little yellow "popular" badge now. Cool!)

Hey, I get that. RL is a demanding bitch sometimes.

I probably should have mentioned in the notes that all of the original characters are real people from my life, so the true demons in this story were the ones that live in my head. This was a great piece to exorcise those demons. I feel better now.

Well, yeah, but this is very much something that I do when reacting to annoying people. I’m nice until I just can’t be anymore. That’s been happening a lot lately.

Yeah, I love to do that. You’ve probably noticed.

Well, I’ve never been on a ship either, but I would imagine that you’re right. I stopped short of making it a Love Boat crossover, but I was kinda thinking that it was. Sort of like the way Creatures crossed with Alias…on a very superficial level.

I have it from a very reliable source that this is an actual quote from the person that Bill was modeled after. Scary, yes?

You don’t miss much, do you? Very perceptive.

Again with the exorcising of my demons. I loved the idea of Agent Maclay kicking a little ex-husband ass. You know I enjoyed writing that a lot.

And I know that you get like that. Glad you liked it. Also, the Willow-induced haze you mentioned next.

(Chris wrote that part. I’ll tell her that you liked it.)

Like I said to a couple of people above, redemption always makes for a happy ending.

Cool! That’s exactly where I placed it. I could imagine a really busy summer…Willow selling her farmhouse and moving to DC, Tara on the outs with the FBI and not fully understanding why she has nightmares, they’re still not fully moved in together, you know, all that stuff. I actually started writing this last summer when I was stuck halfway through Paradox. It helped me to fill in some blanks in the story so I could finish it.

Great comments, my friend. Thank you so much for finding the time to leave them. Talk to you soon.

Diane

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

Woot! dline fic!

Belated congrats on the publishing announcement - that is spectacularly spiffy!

And I have to say, I too liked Bill. I mean yes, I was voting completely for pushing him overboard at times, but overall, I liked him.

Good times here, thanks.

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Don't confuse me with your reasonableness.

Thanks a bunch for that. I liked Bill, too, so it's all good.

Thanks again. It was great to hear from you. Later.

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

Congrats again on the big publishing news! And thanks for this reminder of how good Agent Maclay and Dr Rosenberg are (I know their roles will be filled by original characters, but I'm sure there'll still be that Willow/Tara magic there, for those of us who know).

That was a lot of fun - poor Willow and Tara, having to cope with the holiday from hell. Sure, they've run into worse people, but at least with an actual villain you're allowed to haul off and punch them out. It's so much more frustrating when you can't really do anything, because the guy's just being friendly, but in the most annoying way possible. The murder fantasies were a hoot - lots of gleeful and slightly sinfun hilarity at having a character like Tara, especially, let loose with her annoyance and contemplate grisly execution methods. You could have sub-titled this one 'Kill Bill'

That said, I did like that Bill was redeemed in the end - all the way through the story, even though he was annoying (and horrible - thanks for that swimsuit image, ick), it was clear there was never any malice or unpleasantness to him - he genuinely thought he was helping Wilma and Terri have a good holiday. Since they've had more than their fair share of actual evil bastards after them, it's nice to know that when they run into a nice-but-irritating idiot, they can find a way to get rid of the 'irritating idiot' part without having to lose the 'nice' as well.

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Chris Cook

Through the Looking-glass - Every world needs a Willow and Tara.

Chris! Dude!

Thanks again for the pat on the back. I really appreciate all that you've done for me over the past couple of years. The stories look great and the graphics always rock! So do you, Chris. As far as original characters in the novel are concerned, all I did was change the names and tweak hair color a bit. Since they were always uber characters, it wasn't much of a stretch.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story. The swimsuit image seems particularly disturbing to, well, pretty much everyone, so I'll just sit back in my desk chair, spin around, and laugh evilly. It's just what I do.

I so wish that I would have thought of that. It's better than the title that I have. Oh, well.

I'm glad that came across as clearly as it did. He really was harmless, albeit annoying. Like I've said to some of the folks above, redemption always makes for a pretty happy ending, and I thought one was in order for this little tale.

Thanks again, Chris, for everything, especially taking the time to feedback this last little bit of weirdness. And again, you rock!

Diane

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

Sorry for the double post, but I wanted to say Thank You to whomever made this happen. That's very cool!



Thanks again.

Diane

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

Wow!
Congratulations!
! (just because you deserve an extra exclamation point)
The Rosenberg Files is definitely worthy of being published. Bold Strokes Books obviously has some good management to make such an astute business decision as choosing to publish your work. It reads like every thing going sweet for you right now and all I can do is wish you even more good fortune. Now I am off to catch up on some reading, I just had to comment on your success first.
Tracey

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Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shinning palace built upon the sand!
-'Second Fig' by Millay

Wow! Tracey!

What a nice thing to say. Thank you.

Enjoy your reading.

Diane

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

I know this is way (WAY) overdue, but I wanted to chime in with an "I-love-your-writing-so-much!" It's sexy and funny and ... such a good time.

I love the playfulness of everything.

And Bill! Terri. Wilma. What a colossal douche. So much fun!

...



Does... that mean that I could be Sara Maclay? Cause, you know... that totally fits. (We could double, Jen!)

Great writing

Speaking of overdue, I just found this. Oops. My bad. Thanks for the great comments. I find that there's a serious underusage of the term "colossal douche," so I'm going to try to fix that. You should too. Thanks again.

SJ - Thank you.

-

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

You're taking this whole "catching up" thing to an extreme. I'm impressed.

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Menorah Tales | Working It Out | Random Bits

Wow! You people ROCK!

I'm sure that no one needs to be reminded that I'm an egomaniac, so I'm bumping my own short fic thread to say Thank you. Thanks to all the Kittens who read my stories, thanks for all of the comments, and most of all, huge thanks for this:



Big congrats to the other winners. We really showed 'em all how it's done this time. Thanks again.

Diane

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

Congrats dlline!

You deserve it!

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Blarrrrggghhhhhhhh

Congratulations, Diane!!

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BABY BLOG NOMADIC BLOG GEEKY T's
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. ~Helen Keller

Congratulations!

Hey Kittens!

Long time, no see. Sorry about that.

Since there were a lot of requests for status updates, this felt like a good time for an announcement. On Dangerous Ground (once known to many of you as The Rosenberg Files) is now available for pre-order from Bold Strokes Books. Click here for more information.

Thanks again for all of your support through this very weird journey that I'm taking. Your kind response to my stories has been the highlight of the trip.

Diane

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The dlline Short Fic Thread

dibs? ^_~

Hopefully Chapters will get some.

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Avatar Images Courtesy of Kirari-PGSM.net
The Star Witches Saga | Under the Sea | The Moonlight Densetsu Chronicles | Going the Distance | Slippery When Wet | Short Fics by Sith

Diane,
Great news that On Dangerous Ground is being published and that shades of Willow/Tara remain as one of your main characters has the last name of Rosenberg.
I shall pre-order once I get paid.

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I can deny chicks in chainmail nothing.
Amberhol-from the land of sky blue waters.
No Mere Music Hall, This my novel available directly from rosestindog@gmail.com.