Previously

She leaned in and kissed Tanya slowly and softly who was totally taken aback by the other woman reaction but quickly recovered and responded into the kiss that lasted for few minutes...

Pulling away Tanya giggled softly "I admire your determination"

Blushing deeply Sally replied " see you later them?"

"Yes, sure" responded Tanya leaving sally at the doorstep wanting and dreaming desperately that the party would be only just finished by now not knowing that her innocent and naive heart was dumbfounded and played by the brunette who was heading quickly towards her car waiting her ex-lover arrival to the party...

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Chap 18

Is it allowed for any heart to forgive its cheaters when from the glass of sins they satisfy their thirst...?
How to excuse a killing lover who still despite the pain claims the agony of the heart that was once willingly and helplessly theirs...
Even then remission is a weakness felt by the scarred hearts when repentance doesn't witness tears...
So many wounded hearts kneeled and prayed...some for relief...some for the ability to forget...some for the possibility to love again...love? And who to love when all the faces cry desperately that they killed their soul and all the smiles allow the sorrow to creep into their hearts, simply they are their killers and when love struggle again to sneak into their hearts, they will be its murderer...

Tanya lived love so many times in her life; but she never basked in the passionate kind of love until she met the redhead and loosing her was the major blow that a delicate heart couldn't handle.
Begging for forgiveness was her only hope and acceptance was so hard to acquire again.
The brunette never depended on her feelings mainly cause all her previous relationships were just for fun; crying for missing someone never occurred to her or desperately feeling lonely when they are away was an emotion that tear her apart...she felt weak...so weak that she gave in to the first flirtatious tone implied by Kelly her best friend...her heart was now in control, never again her mind...
One word kept invading her head all the time depriving her body from the taste of relaxation and her eyes from the blessing of sleep...Forgiveness...again and again forgiveness... but why do lovers forgive in the first place? Is it as a cry of mercy resonating through their hearts to mend their hearts or despair settling down obliging them to bow for the power of love only because their hearts can’t bare anymore the scars caused by a passionate cheater?

NO...No...No...Never like this…had she wanted forgiveness for love not for pity or anything of that matter, the answer lay down in the deepest part of her heart. The brunette knew she was guilty and willingly excused her lover's strong reactions against her never ending request.
Isn’t she the one who always claimed that her anger was easy to manifest but hard to conceal; and now she is in the front dealing with it...everything turned upside down in her world; after being chased by many women it was her turn to pursue persistently for a chance to be with Willow again and after dismissing many persons from her life who occupied once her heart for reasons she possibly found offending was her turn to feel thrown away from everything revolving around her lover and condemned guilty of cheating...

Never again she wanted to feel the pain of rejection; it hurt so badly especially when these words flew out of the hacker lips to settle down into her heart cutting like a knife with a sharp blade. Love was with the redhead a blade with two cutting edges and when the final decision was taken; Tanya never assumed it will be the execution of her heart.

Sitting behind the steering wheel; the brunette started bit by bit to drown into her seat not by tiredness but cause of the scene displayed in front of her eyes. It was Willow heading towards her in a quick pace; her colour was high, she seemed angry about something. It was like darkness hovered over her mind that dissolved into her whole body.
In the stress of her violent ad shaken emotions boiling down to her core, Tanya got down from the car expecting a much more worse confrontation than the previous ones; she was simply caught red-handed spying on willow...

" You’re not satisfied, are you? You aren’t happy from all the pain you caused me yet? Ahhh...Why don’t you go to your women...They are like you...Just bloody cheaters...I was so fool to never understand you...so damn fool for believing your love...Oh God! Too stupid even to assimilate all cleverness...but not anymore...do you hear me; not anymore...I know all your dirty little games..." Cried the redhead stamping her foot angrily on the road, as she watched the brunette wincing in pain afraid that she would strike her.

Tanya stood watching in silence not able to utter a word that even if she dared to do in the first place. Her eyes were focused at the sight of the hacker's quivering fingers. Willow’s fury seemed to fatter the brunette's body and tie up her tongue in so many knots.
Tanya's silence made the other's woman blood stir up even more; it rushed violently through her veins burning her whole being " You!! " she blurted out closing the distance between them " You!! You pathetic lover! You purity betrayer! Everything about you is fake...your smile is fake...your truth is fake...your words are fake even your heart is fake...I hate myself for loving you once..."


The brunette drew away closing all her existence in a violent and uncomfortable silence. She knitted in her brows and her eyes started to water as a wave of slight shivering hit her body.
" You still love..." she said trying to pluck up the courage to look into willow's eyes " you never stopped loving me, even now attacking me is the only defence you've got to conceal what’s embracing your heart from passion and desire to be in my arms again...I don’t blame your anger and i do really understand your frustration; but at the end I am a human full of mistakes and flaws that I am not proud of " her eyes were tense with violent irritation sparkling in anger and jealousy " I regret it...I hate myself for hurting you...cant you see it...cant you feel it...I love you...I am just a woman who knew passion when I was called your love, disappointed you in the ugliest possible ways and asking forgiveness from you heart..."

The redhead turned her back away not wanting to hear Tanya's pleadings again; shifting her eyes to the open air Willow sighed deeply and breathe in slowly trying badly to control her anger and the shivers taking over her body. She didn’t answer the brunette who was waiting anxiously for a reply. She remained still like the words that died on her lips totally opposing her mind and heart leaving them in a fierce war between emotions and reasoning.
She loved Tanya deeply; but that was in the past. she cant deny that the brunette took her into the depths of passion or what’s she thought passion was all about; but with one mistake she threw her back at the roots of darkness and shame, laughing over the river of sorrow, tears and pain which was for a while one of the sources of her being. Looking down, the redhead slowly numbled " my eyes were for a long time shielded by grief, and now you dare to come and look into them complaining...tell me that badly you miss seeing them full of tears? "

Feeling the hackers turmoil, Tanya carried on with her persuasion speech stepping closer to Willow and resting her head on the redhead's back as she softly spoke with her ex-lover " your tears never were my ain " words came to halt for few minutes then like heavy rain, they rushed into the hacker's senses and filled them in " do you remember? it was a clear night when we both sat on that bench; you were so beautiful...a hot passion filled your eyes with tenderness...I never witnessed something so special in my whole life, it was new and so so delicate like the purity hidden in your ever green baby eyes; it fought all the fear ad panic raging in my heart...you took me in your arms and I let my tears break free...it was peace...Just simple peace..."

Willow was silent for sometime, listening to the brunette's words and watching the sky with slow, pensive eyes " You cried..." she said at length, without expression.
Again there was a long pause, before Tanya replied " I did...I wanted you to accept me emotionally and help me understand what I was feeling for you...It was much powerful than love...an ambiguous force pulling me towards you...you wiped out my tears and told me...Your tears were never my aim, just your heart...don’t you think this kind of love deserve another chance? "
" Maybe " Willow replied, her eyes flashing with acknowledgement.

" I believed in us and our love; and still do...I can heal your wounds and mend your scars...Let your heart feel my love again so it will run through your veins, then and only then I'd hold your hand and walk in our own way " said Tanya to the hacker, in her slow voice, that was like an enchanted spell.
A small smile came over Willow's face, subtle and sceptical as felt Tanya’s arms wrapping around her waist from behind " I've became a proper dam " she said out of distance " I have been restraining myself from running into your arms and forgetting myself there...a human dam I was...It is just I didn’t choose to believe your repentance and fought it back with all my power refusing to listen to your pleas...It worked for a while; seeing you suffer was a consolation to me...I know it is cruel but can you blame a woman who never saw her lover crying over her disappearance? "

Tanya was rather surprised upon hearing the redheads words but she gathered herself quickly as she tightened her grip on Willow kissing the back of her head exclaiming softly " I cant!"
Looking at the ground, a fire flickered up in the hackers eyes " Rome is burnt already, eh? "
For the second time the brunette was taken aback by the sardonic understanding of their relationship in willow's mind " Just as well," she said quietly " our relationship was burned; but not to the ashes...we can salvage it from being wasted...we can if we believe...it just lies in us and our determination..."
" oh, very well indeed " replied the hacker, " best to dance while Rome burns, since it must burnt, don’t you think? "
It was strange how worlds were flowing between them now and how meaningfully they were, something Willow never experienced with the brunette.
" oh better dance than wail certainly " replied Tanya with a triumphed smile " did I abuse you ?"

" Never mind " Willow answered, " It is all for the good "
" Isn't it ? " she said as she kissed Willow's shoulder.
" certainly " the hacker replied.
Tanya laughed with a wild yet soft catch in her voice " You are mine my love, aren’t you? "
" yes " replied the hacker softly; her voice was calm and final like nothing could muddle its clarity.

The peace went missing in Tanya’s head now; she heard what she have been craving for and yes Willow just admitted she was hers again; but in a weird way the redhead was still turning her back to her; she couldn’t gaze into her eyes or even taste her luscious lips...It was all wrapped up in a luminous wonder and growing fear. Was it real? Should she provoke her again to feel more acquainted and relieved with words of reassurance? All seemed vague; she wanted peace again and she wanted it right now...
" Baby? " Tanya said, lifting her face up and looking with a frightened gentle bliss of wonder " do you love me? "
" yes " Came the quick reply from the motionless redhead.


The brunette knew something wrong; she decided to inquire and why not when she missed crazily the green eyes of her love that would immediately grant her with one look all the tranquillity and the magical immunity to her trembling heart. she missed them smiling lightly to her...she wanted them smiling with her...
Restless as she was, Tanya dropped her hands to the hacker's shoulders turning her around. She closed her eyes imagining Willows kisses...wonderful kisses blessing her soul with a soft sill happiness making her heart almost stop...stop...it did stop...not her heart; but her whole world...her whole existence as screams of pain shattered her heart upon opening her eyes...It wasn’t Willow in her arms...It was Tara!!!
" NO!!!!" She cried desperately " It cant be you!!! Where did you take Willow...what did you with my love....I hate you Tara...I hate you!!! I hate you..."

The reality of beauty and happiness came to a halt when she woke up startled, shaking and sweating...It was a dream...A simple dream projecting her much wanted desires. Letting her tears flow freely Tanya tried to breath in lightly and regularly again...Her awareness was coming back to a reality that was destroying her bit by bit...she wanted to break free and breath in innocently beyond the touch of responsibility.
She missed peace and wanted it badly to lighten up her life but in the game of love, rest was not required or desired and sometimes a simple dream can awake in every person depths their frightening demons.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_________________
So you found out today your life's not the same...
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday...
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn...
But you never gave up this easily before...
So why do you choose today to give it all away.......
She's my angel love

Dibs I stumble to find words that can articulate my feelings here this is deep looking in to Tanya's hopes and dreams make her real and we feel her pain. I can only hope that Willow and Tara are off building there world and are not worried about Tanya I just cant bleed for her she did this to her self and the girls should not have to suffer I bought a whole furniture store my friend so get ready. I need some soon Missy

_________________
Dia the spelunker
Never underestimate the powerful love of a good woman
If you were a cave what kind of cave would you be

omg that was amazing!

im like blowing my cheeks out when it comes to tanya on one hand i so feel for her and the pain shes going through regardless of the reason hence the other side where im almost grrrin at her not wanting her near willow as it was her own fault that willow who found herself again through tara lost her ability to look at her previous lover as a human being more a object that causes pain every time its buttons are pressed

lol i was actually panickinin a bit when i thought willow was surrending to tanya. i was honestly like lol but lucikly it was just a dream

but on a more serious note this dream shows how deeply someone can be affected by the hurts that occur in life...where as one person can pick themselves up and move on the other cant and turns into a 1st class phsycho

and i aint tellin you to hide under no table i know ya gf is there ready to kick asses on anyone who tries to push you under.....so if anyone is goin under its me lol

keep up the writin.....you really are an awesome writer.....my opinion anyway

Hey full speed ahead I am not afraid of L........... OK maybe just a little needs bigger table me thinks

_________________
Dia the spelunker
Never underestimate the powerful love of a good woman
If you were a cave what kind of cave would you be

heyyy you so scared me!! I was like s why is she with Tanya? but ok, at the end it was good, im sorry about her, but only if she feel regret bout it of course, anyway Willow and tara are meant to be together for ever!

Write soon please, Im writing a stroy, i dont know if it will be short, i only hope i can finish t, since i really want to write it. I only hope my friends will like it ^^

Ok, keep your work!
kisses
aggie

Wooo finally caught up here! Wow you write so beautifully Roula and capture the emotions so beautifully! That dream was scary you had me there for a moment! Woah girl don't do that to me!
Good add though that Tarnya needs to be taken down a peg or two!
I loved the private moments between Will and Tara, it's all so beautiful.
Great add more more more! Pwease!?
take care from Caroline xxx

_________________
x x x

Dianneswillowtree




hello there Dia, you and the whole furniture u just bought...lol so you know you can buy more stuff no problemo sweetie you soooo know who is behind my back to deal with .. anyway as far as what concerns the latest update I wanted to show Tanyas grief and sorrow and what shes really craving for...it was like a private visit to her soul when it enters the temple of sleep and we get to sit and watch her life and hopes being displayed like a movie in her head in front of us...mostly what we fear and dread shows in our dreams as well as our hopes showing our naked reality with pictures in our head we see and words in real life we're scacred to speak fearing to reveal our truth and the possibility of rejection...dream was tanyas reality...as much as it is painful it shows her desperation to be with a peron who used to be her love...as for the smut dia all I can say good stuff happens to ppl who waits...


rach 234



well rachy u may be right in feeling that the redhead is looking at tanya as an object no longer as a human being who caused her once an unbearable pain that she is still trying till now to recover from...An object with no feelings or needs, maybe Willow regard her as a woman who took off the layer of love out of her life and doesnt have the ability anymore to feel anything at all, it is more like to kiss a mirror, u see the person there but you dont feel its effect anymore...how hard and sharp was willows judgment ..Tanya was just an object who lives just on her insticts after the death of her feelings...dreaming or not the redhead moved on to another level of thinking depriving her heart from joining into to take the decision about her ex's request as if she was feeling the brunette transformation into an object forbidded her from using her heart to feel for her and try to lessen from the anger she felt towards her...it was simple she was not worth anymore to let her heart hear her ex's appeals...in fact it was a dead end...a new love is waiting and she wont let it wait any longer...




lol I really laughed at the thought of you going under the table... pretty good idea...lol and rachy you can know breathe in relief it was a dream...phewwww can u imagine what would have happened if it wasnt a dream...errr on second thoughts i dont wanna picture what will be the readers comments...errr anyway back to the story all i can say that Tanya is on despair mode...she aint realizing whats she's doing or planning...nothing can bring her back to the land of reality... she desperatly needs a wake up call...from who and when its gonna happen, it is all bound up to show in the following installements...
thanks for your opinion about my writings i really appreciate it and i hope the next updates will be evaluated and given credits on my work as much as the previous one without forgetting all the readers who leaves comments and feedbakcs...All their encpuragements keeps me going strong so once again thanks a lot



Dianneswillowtree



lol okay my gf will read your comment and we will see if you will change ur mind...she doesnt care if they are big or small hahahahah


littlewicca




hello aggie, sorry for scaring you at the end of the day i wanna this story to hold as much as twist as it can bares, whether the twists involves the pure reality or immagined dreams...thanks for you feedback and i wish you good luck writing this new story as always your freinds will appreciate and love your work aggie , so keep flowing and writing; I am sure it will be great


Sapphire eyes





welcome back for you sapphy into kitten again it is really good to have you back....thank you for your sweet words i really appreciate it caroline...I am sorry about the dream; it was crazy and scary but that what the brunnette was dreaming off and i was only saying what happened in her head ....lol so dont kill the messenger
Willow and Tara are now living in a wonderful world...one of their ones that no one can touch or disturb and i intend to leave them like this for a good while thanks for your feedback and hope to see you more and more in this board see ya


Id like to mention for all the readers that I wont be updating for a while...I am sorry for this but I hope that I wont need so much time away and id get back sooner that I've expected to many more upcoming installements...till that time keep safe

All my love...
Amberholic...

_________________
So you found out today your life's not the same...
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday...
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn...
But you never gave up this easily before...
So why do you choose today to give it all away.......
She's my angel love

[center] Thank you letter[/center]

Dear friends,

Never Underestimate the power of word; it's not only about writer's words, but also yours..

A saying that have been always engraved in my mind for a long time but was taught yesterday to my heart with the shake of my hands and the quiver of my feelings in front of the huge recognition felt by you, readers of my story, towards me as a person and towards my words as a writer who was and still trying to reach the deepest of your heart, with a cry, a laughter or even a sense of wonder...It never mattered which way it was as long as I get to live the emotions of each installment with the person hiding behind your nicknames even it if was for few minutes...

Never knew how much these pages written by me here were read or appreciated... it is so true writing goes in two ways...the readers and the writer's ways...
Yesterday I lived the emotions of triumph given to me by many members here...Words fail me so much now and my pencil stopped flowing...it is not a frustrating writer's block but surely is happiness that left me speechless and staring at the awards site for several minutes not aware if it was a reality or a dream...

I repeated always to my friends that the honor of being nominated was enough for me but to win all the five categories I was listed in is my dream coming true and a huge Yes to carry on practicing my hobby and wandering hours on my papers assembling lost words of my mind to create a new world...a world of my own that I wanna share with each one of you....

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to live my story for counted minutes of your lives and reacting with it...I appreciate You opening up to me when I was a newcomer to this site and supporting me with your feedbacks or with ur silent encouragements...with you presence this story was able to win five awards : best unfinished story, best AU ( alternative universe), best angst, best romance, and best new Author...

My thanks goes to
Dianneswillowtree, writerfreak, musicmad10, lilkitty1389, Shadowygirl, guitar_girl, Numen, witchlove, taralicious, Sapphire eyes, WolfDragonGod, Auriam,Useful_Oxymoron, racch234, MYTARA, Shy One,kimmy_s,willowbaby05, littlewicca, Zampsa1975, woahnellie....


[center]Dianneswillowtree: thank you for being by my side a truthful friend; you were the first to welcome me to this site and grant me the sense of belonging...I deeply recognize your presence and your help present in your comments and in your words when I was weakened by many pressures that writing can bring and the fact of joining a new site full of talented writers going along with my expectations...you were everywhere...here; in different colors pens forum and in the inward eye forum following my writings and encouraging me to write more and more...Your nomination for my story in the iamyouknowawards site delighted me...it was more like a test for me, to prove to myself that I can bring up what’s going deep inside of me out...and here I am enjoying the results of this nomination...It was and still a blast...even when I was scrolling bit by bit and peeking on the result...Thanks for your loyalty[/center]


[center]writerfreak: You were the one to recognize my story from extraflamey and never ceased to encourage me when I re-started posting it here...I wanna thank you for your feedbacks on my pages and for the way you expressed your feelings towards my installments...Your presence here is appreciated...wish you the best of luch in your story too...it is a real good one...[/center]

[center]musicmad10: Hey there music, you were between the first members to leave a comment on my story, I appreciate the enthiasium you showed for my updates and your encouragements...your stories never failed to initiate a smile on my lips; Keep writing and best of luck for you...[/center]

[center]lilkitty1389 : lilkitty, thanks for showing up on my story's pages and leaving your encouraging words in here, it means a lot me...even the smallest pebble can be the basis of a strong building...thanks again!

Shadowygirl: I remember you from the first time I posted here then i dropped out to be back again to this site...yours encouraging words helped me to write more and more...thanks for your presence, it is appreciated

guitar_girl : hola guitar_ girl, the lurking person from extraflamey...lol I am so glad you aint lurking anymore and you decided to show more of yourself here...I wanna thank you for your feedbacks along my all posted chaps and for your presence here; it is endearing...

Numen : numen, numen, numen...been a long time since you been away I hope you're fine ...It is you the member I managed with my words to make cry and more than once...I was starting to feel bad but since you assured me that they are good tears...a big phewwww your comments always bring a smile especially when the chap end with a cliff-hanger and numen is squirming...lol, Thanks for all your words and your encouragements it means a lot to me

witchlove : hey there witch love, thanks for your feedbacks and the time you put to read my updates...thanks again

[center] taralicious: Dear Taralicious, I liked so much your feedbacks, always the argumentative and analyzing ones; tending to read more and more in my characters personalities and judging their actions based on the given facts and hidden feelings in each ones heart and why not as a real human being...at the end of the day a story can touch each one of us in different way, more to the point one sentence can affect us inversely either in bad or good way...I enjoyed your meaningful comments...Thanks for being here [/center]

[center]Sapphire eyes : hello there my friend, sapphy you've been the second member to welcome me here and we developed with the upcoming days a good friendship, we listened to each other and shared so many stories among us. Thanks for being here as a good friend never failing to leave me feedbacks on my story and encouraging me to give more and more...I wanna thank you for all that and especially for your friendship....oh by the way your story is good keep up the good writing...talk to you soon hopefully...[/center]

[center]WolfDragonGod: Thanks wolf for leaving your comments on the pages of my story, it is really wonderful how the readers can satisfy a writer by writing words as a sign of recognition and appreciation of their work...it is more than words for me, more like a helpful friendly hand given to me to build more and more on the basis of my fiction...Thanks for your presence, it is appreciated...[/center]

[center]Auriam: merci pour ta présence et ta contribution pour m’encourager a continuer cette histoire depuis le début lorsqu'elle était affiche sur extraflamey...J'appecie tes mots et la valeur de cette histoire que tu mets en relief avec eux...merci de nouveau...[/center]

[center]Useful_Oxymoron: hey there, thanks for the feedback you left and for the support you showed me through your words...you're story master of Horrors is on of my best stories i read on this forum...I like your style and the way you drive your fiction to its ends while going through every detail concerning the characters and their feelings...Thanks for reading my story...[/center]


[center] racch234 : What can I say to you...you were a very good friend to me, from the many times you sat, read my updates and reacted to them in you own very way to the times of going crazy asking me to lessen the cliff-hangers at the end of each chapter without forgetting the flaming adverts...my friend Rachel this goes beyond a story or new instalments to reach another beautiful world of friendship, no matter what happened, you’d be still my friend and no matter how big are the differences that sometimes raised btw us, you’d always be a good presence in my life...Bad or good times were shared btw me and you and faced with faith... i hope you will achieve your dreams that will add to you as a very evaluated person more sense of happiness and content....I wanna thank the friend i found in you, and the older sister that stood by my side several times...I hope one day we can meet again...[/center]

[center] MYTARA : hooray to MYTARA...lol... you know for having my back when Dia was threatening me with the tables...geee can u believe her...asking for smut...lol...Anyway I wanted to thank you for your presence and your feedbacks...I was delighted to see you as a newcomer in my fictional world and hope you'd still be here in upcoming updates...thanks again, ur presence is evaluated...[/center]

[center]Shy One: a big hello for the hopeless romantic who fought her shyness and left here her feedbacks that brought a smile to me...i was thrilled that another lurker decided to show up and leave me their words and opinions, it meant a lot to me and kept me going in the direction of adding more and more updates...thanks again shyone I hope to see you more and more [/center]

[center]kimmy_s: hey there kimmy,when i was reading again your comment i felt as the same first time i have read it...a lot of enthusiasm and encouragement coming from you towards me...I wanna thank you for all the effort you put to read it in one go and the eagerness u showed to leave me your opinion about it...I wanna thank you for all that and for being a good follower to this fiction [/center]

[center]willowbaby05: heya willow! when you said i just want Tara to punch Tanya in her face you reduced me to giggles...the way you reacted with the installments as a whole unit was wonderful...you felt it in a powerful way, and outlined it in good way talking about each character even by few words who were more than enough to show how much you're following it....I wanna thank you for ur presence and say to you Willow you’re the most welcome on the pages on my story [/center]

[center] littlewicca: hola little wicca comos estas? I hope you're fine...you and juju are Dia's good friends and that means ur my friends too...thank you both for being so friendly to me and encouraging me to update more and more and here i take the chance to congratulate juju on her award she deserve it especially that English is not her first language, good job juju...and wish you the same for your story Wicca keep up the good work [/center]

[center]Zampsa1975 : Thanks for your feedback and for your encouraging words i hope to see more of you here [/center]

[center]woahnellie: Thanks for following Dia's recommendation about reading my story and commenting it with your encouraging words...I hope you will be here or many upcoming updates yet to come and i got to read your comments...thank again [/center]

I wanna thank also the readers who followed my story without leaving feedbacks and also the unregistered persons who got to read it and appreciate it in silence...I couldnt have done with you or your encouragement that was way clear and so loud yesterday with the announcements of the results online...I wanna tell you I evaluate your hidden presence even without words and I hope you’d always be there

I wanna thank also Chris at the looking glass site and Suzan at the mystic muse site for giving my story the opportunity to expand more and more and reach as many readers as possible...never forgetting to thank also the moderators of the kitten board for allowing to writers like me to post my work and the wonderful possibility of being read making other persons from different cultures, beliefs and habits willing to interact with us in every possible way...

A special thank you forSpellbound for giving the writers a chance to compete among each other in the most honourable way...

Least but not last I wanna thank my gf for being by my side all the time encouraging and supporting me...For all the days and nights you gave excuses for my crazy behaviour thank you, for all the hours I felt down and you came to pick me up thank you, for all the understanding and the love i found in your heart for me thank you...lots and lots of thank you could never repay all the patience and love you granted me...it was never before so simple as to say it now and each minute...I love you...

All my love...
Amberholic..

_________________
So you found out today your life's not the same...
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday...
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn...
But you never gave up this easily before...
So why do you choose today to give it all away.......
She's my angel love

Awww Roula what a lovely thank-you latter that was lovely and I loved the individual thanks they were all so personal and lovely. It is my pleasure to read your story I love it and I love your friendship too. take care love and hugs from Caroline xxx

_________________
x x x

I am so proud of you my friend I will always be at your side no matter what your loyalty is undying and true we have been there through thick and thin. You are always thinking of everyone but yourself and I like that about you. Congratulations on your winning so many awards. Now get back to updating or find a table fast. I need some willow and Tara loven. as always love and kisses to you and L

_________________
Dia the spelunker
Never underestimate the powerful love of a good woman
If you were a cave what kind of cave would you be

We are the music-makers and we are the dreamers of dreams, said Mr. Willy Wonka and it applies to those of us who have remained truly loyal to the blessed union of Willow and Tara in all its infinite variations.
Those, like your good self, Amberholic, and all the other talented chroniclers here on Pens, who craft tales of Willow and Tara which encompass all which is both glorious and ghastly about human nature.
AND
Us, artists in our own right, who create worlds and people them with characters of our own creation, who nevertheless feel a special affinity with Willow and Tara and marvel at how, in the hands of chroniclers such as yourself, they achieve a Galatean corporeality by your touch.
Congratulations on your well-deserved awards.

_________________
I can deny chicks in chainmail nothing.
Amberhol-from the land of sky blue waters.
No Mere Music Hall, This my novel available directly from rosestindog@gmail.com.

congratulations you put so much of yourself into this story so much time hairpulling laughter and hiding that it really is awesome to see you win some many nominations but i couldnt help feeling that if there was any justice then it was the min that you deserved

and thanks for the personal thank you on this page it really was touchin and the thank you letter was cool

take care and keep up the good work

Hello All

I wanna say I missed this forum a lot and missed writing as well...I have been away and pretty much busy with work and such but I gues it is time to get back and write from the start cause I am so craving to write more and more updates...

i'll post now like a first paragraph of my new update, hoping you will like and when i say paragraph mean no more than 5 lines...Just a lil bit to warm up and be sure to check it out coz when the update is ready ill modify this post to end the entire chapter

It is good to be back again...

All my love...
Amberholic

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Previously

The reality of beauty and happiness came to a halt when she woke up startled, shaking and sweating...It was a dream...A simple dream projecting her much wanted desires. Letting her tears flow freely Tanya tried to breath in lightly and regularly again...Her awareness was coming back to a reality that was destroying her bit by bit...she wanted to break free and breath in innocently beyond the touch of responsibility.
She missed peace and wanted it badly to lighten up her life but in the game of love, rest was not required or desired and sometimes a simple dream can awake in every person depths their frightening demons.


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Chap 19

She never knew what near yet far means before this night; the actress was swaying in glamour in front of her with a breathtaking smile trying to socialize with Kelly’s guests yet the redhead couldn’t reach out to her nor whisper sweets nothings in the blonde’s ear like she did yesterday when they cuddled on coach till sleepiness came over to take them gently to dream land…maybe their bodies did surrender to their tiredness but their hearts never stopped skipping beats knowing this night was the beginning of their life….after all don’t they say when we love, we witness again our rebirth?

TBC

_________________
So you found out today your life's not the same...
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday...
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn...
But you never gave up this easily before...
So why do you choose today to give it all away.......
She's my angel love

Dibs I am so happy you are back missed you my friend. I love this tease and cant wait for more.

_________________
Dia the spelunker
Never underestimate the powerful love of a good woman
If you were a cave what kind of cave would you be

you are back cool and i look forward to the next full install

Yea your finishing the story! I followed it ever since it was on a different website and I'm glad your deciding to continue writing it.
Cant wait for the next update.

_________________
{Carpe Diem}

This is certainly a bet that paid off and was worth awaiting its return.

_________________
I can deny chicks in chainmail nothing.
Amberhol-from the land of sky blue waters.
No Mere Music Hall, This my novel available directly from rosestindog@gmail.com.

Hi Yaya I cant wait to read more!

_________________
My mother always says that if a person cant say something nice, and be kind then they should not say anything at all.

Previously

The reality of beauty and happiness came to a halt when she woke up startled, shaking and sweating...It was a dream...A simple dream projecting her much wanted desires. Letting her tears flow freely Tanya tried to breath in lightly and regularly again...Her awareness was coming back to a reality that was destroying her bit by bit...she wanted to break free and breath in innocently beyond the touch of responsibility.
She missed peace and wanted it badly to lighten up her life but in the game of love, rest was not required or desired and sometimes a simple dream can awake in every person depths their frightening demons.


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Chap 19

She never knew what near yet far means before this night; the actress was swaying in glamour in front of her with a breathtaking smile trying to socialize with Kelly’s guests yet the redhead couldn’t reach out to her nor whisper sweets nothings in the blonde’s ear like she did yesterday when they cuddled on coach till sleepiness came over to take them gently to dream land…maybe their bodies did surrender to their tiredness but their hearts never stopped skipping beats knowing this night was the beginning of their life….after all don’t they say when we love, we witness again our rebirth?

"Frustrating..." numbled a very disappointed redhead as she turned around facing the bar and sipping her Martini.

The party wasn't anything to be compared with some friends celebration, but more like a huge social gathering for movie industry people…Neither Tara nor Willow embraced the idea whole heartedly, if anything they would have turned their backs and left the party with no regret but as soon as the actress stepped in, hundreds of eyes, some admiring, others lusting hang on the beauty in front of them never leaving her…her presence was confirmed….the star was there…

It was very galling for the hacker to see the blonde in front of her and not able to hold her hand let lone kiss her…She felt like a third wheel…Tara and her admirers on a hand and herself on another hand. Though the blonde sneaked herself for few minutes to speak with Willow trying to apologize at the way the night turned out to be but they were interrupted again by a reporter wanting to ask the actress few questions bout her new movie soon to be released; and if it wasn't for the hacker's smile and nod, the blonde would have sent him away.

She was barely succeeding in concealing her frustration and disappointment, the blonde wanted badly to be in the safety of Willow's arms but that was hard to achieve tonight since Kelly's brain got out of her head due to some major excitement and happiness at the prospect of meeting a mystery woman tonight so she invited as much friends as she could to show them that she isn’t lonely as she used to be…

"What is exactly frustrating?" came a voice from behind the hacker who as soon as she heard knew it belong to her best friend, Buffy.

"Tara being away..." replied Willow with an evident sadness in her voice.

"Away?" the petite woman raised her eyebrows as she seated herself next to the redhead "but she is right here, in front of you!"

"No, she isn’t" said the hacker as she turned around facing the other woman" what's the point of being here if I can't hold her or see her smiling at me just for once?"

"Uh- oh!" Exclaimed Buffy " the Willster is drowning in someone's sea…may I add that It have been only for few days and the great powerful storm of love didn’t hit your shore yet…what you're going to do then? "

" Honestly … I don’t care " challenged back the hacker " all I want now is to be close to her and when the storm will hit ill del with it on its own time…" smiled Willow as she added to herself " that if it didn’t hit first time I laid my eyes on her"

"Is it love?" Ventured Buffy with this question looking at the redhead's face breaking into a smile.
Biting her lower lip, Willow remained silent drifting quickly into her own world… Tara's world… to be cut by the soft giggles coming from her friend.

"You're biting your lip!" giggled Buffy some more "I love it when you do that; means I'm right and you can't deny it!"
"Oh! Shut up…" replied the hacker turning around to face the bar again as she took another sip from Martini trying hard to hide her laughter deep down.

"Mmmm…Will?" numbled the blonde looking down at her drink "I...Mmmm… I kinda like someone here..."

Looking at her friend, the hacker smiled and put a comforting hand on her shoulder "and what will the Buffster do bout it?"

"I don’t know…" shrugged the other woman " she is so beautiful…and I feel all tied up…"
"Well, you have to talk with her" answered Willow back smiling at her best friend " do you remember you own words at the office when I was breaking down into pieces bout meeting the woman that I like…" Buffy nodded, looking at her friends glowing face " Follow them and you heart too…never underestimate the truthfulness of your heart's beatings…cause when it does and in the right way to feel a rock sitting deep down in your tummy means you got it running in your veins...listen carefully and do what your heart tells you...If it says stand up, move your butt and talk with her then you got to do it..."

"Well..." giggled Buffy "it said some stuff...same meaning but other context..."
The two friends looked at each other and burst out laughing for a while until the petite blonde spoke again after recovering from their wave of giggles "Thanks for listening Will"
"Oh!" answered the hacker "then what are friends for... You go and get her girl…but wait you never told me who she is…"
Standing up, Buffy pout down her drink and numbled "the birthday girl" as she headed towards Kelly leaving the hacker all dumbstruck completely aware of the fact that her friend will be rejected cause of some mysterious woman who apparently managed to steal Kelly's mind and what's not?

In her shocked state mind the redhead didn’t notice someone approaching her until a sweet voice brought her back to the party's events "why such a beautiful lady is all by herself?"
Turning around the hacker was face to face with a beautiful brunette with greenish eyes matching her own intensity.
"Well..." smiled Willow "technically I'm not lone, came long with friend…Mmmm they will be back soonish"

"I'm Andrea by the way" smiled the woman as she sat down next to the redhead not aware of a pair of eyes following he moves from across the room and closing down to her.
"I'm willow" answered the redhead politely.
"Beautiful name" Winked Andrea at the hacker" but the beauty of her owner exceeds it by miles… so why your friends let you all alone…"
"She is not alone!" came a third voice, confident and very distinguished one " I just came back to keep her company"

"Oh Tara, it is you!" smiled Andrea" you have some beautiful friend and you keep her away... You not plying fair… you should have brought her to our gatherings long time ago..."
Felling the flirtatious tone of Andrea, agonized the actress under the whips of her very articulated words…willow was hers and even flirting sounded like a task she couldn’t handle anymore" you're right Andrea" replied Tara " she's beautiful but taken !"
"Ah!" exclaimed the brunette "my luck…all beautiful women are taken…" and with that she stood up and left them alone.

"Are you okay?" ventured the actress.
"now, you're here" smiled the redhead" so, I'm taken?"
"Totally!" replied Tara eagerly " oh …I mean...don't wanna overwhelm you…but…"
"Tara, shhh…I'm taken" replied Willow smiling adoringly at her woman.
"I missed you" the blonde sincerely expressed her emotion.
"I wish I could hold you to show you how much you're missed" replied the hacker softly
"Your wishes are my commands" winked Tara at the hacker" time for sneaking out and having willow Time!"

And with that the two women headed toward the kitchen to the back stairs evading into the silence of the night to a world they built by the crave of their heart and the passion of their souls!

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TBC

_________________
So you found out today your life's not the same...
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday...
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn...
But you never gave up this easily before...
So why do you choose today to give it all away.......
She's my angel love

Dibs

I swear I did not see this one coming I hate that kelly is being played in a evil game and that both her and Buffy are going to get hurt in the end.




I love this because Tara made it clear no one messes with her girl but she did it with a lot of grace.


This spoke loud and clear how it is going to be between them from here on out when you give your heart to someone is the most preciouses thing and to have that love returned nothing in the heavens or on earth is more important.

_________________
Dia the spelunker
Never underestimate the powerful love of a good woman
If you were a cave what kind of cave would you be

Hey, Thanks for emailing me and letting me know you posted an update, ....And i love the update Cant wait for more. I thought it was really cute how they're sneaking off.

Ness

Waiting on a wonderful up date my dear friend soonish ok

_________________
Dia the spelunker
Never underestimate the powerful love of a good woman
If you were a cave what kind of cave would you be

Hello dear friends!
I know I promised more updates but it is taking long time to do so...Im currently on a work trip and my life is hectic...I hope when time permits me I'll go back to writing and updating this story...I'll miss you all...

See you soon

Amberholic

 All my love... 

_________________
So you found out today your life's not the same...
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday...
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn...
But you never gave up this easily before...
So why do you choose today to give it all away.......
She's my angel love

Stay safe on your trip my friend we will wait.

_________________
Dia the spelunker
Never underestimate the powerful love of a good woman
If you were a cave what kind of cave would you be

hey amberholic,
loving the update (only just read the last few - technical difficulties!)
ditto on the 'we will wait' front.
whenever you get time to update hun i will be waiting.

Kim xx

_________________
"I don't want our first time to be a quickie. I want it to be, a longie." The redhead looked at the blonde and smiled sweetly. "I want all of you." ~ Willow to Tara in Neverland by EasierSaid
The most anticipated Chapter in the history of fanfiction everywhere!

hey all

Sorry for the long wait...but the things turned out tobe much longer than i have expected on my trip...I came to sign a contract to work abroad...and it was / still taking so much time of me...Im not really sure when I can update my story...but ill do my best to be as soon as possible...

All my love
Amberholic

_________________
So you found out today your life's not the same...
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday...
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn...
But you never gave up this easily before...
So why do you choose today to give it all away.......
She's my angel love

Hurry!!!! Need more yummy goodness!!!!!! I like your story a lot.

_________________
Temptation is my torture.

It was peaceful out there like their hearts, no one ventured to say a single word not out of fear but because sometimes silence is the language of love...When you're with your other half you dont seem to know whats going outside your love bubble...Every motion in this universe will stop and every sound will vanish nothing could be heard but their breathing mingling together in the quietness of the night.

They sat there on the beach in silence intertwining their fingers...this night seemed like the sea was revolting, hiding within every crack of water on the shore the mere voices of thunder through its waves...It was like willow crazy but yet calm, revolting on her past and standing up and tall between the wreckage of her past life waiting safety to settle in her life again and love to come cracking at the shore of her heart...by her side there was Tara, her Tara...her hope of happiness that seems to draw a smile on the smile of the redhead each time thoughts of the blonde passes through her mind...but the silence was killed again by a slow fainting chant growing steadily in the heart of the hacker praying for the goddess for Tara to be the one...

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_________________
So you found out today your life's not the same...
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday...
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn...
But you never gave up this easily before...
So why do you choose today to give it all away.......
She's my angel love

Will this ever be updated? I hope so, it's really good.

_________________
I'm under your spell...

I am the Queen of Mosquitoes personified, feel my annoying wrath! ~Willow, The Rose

False Euphoria ~~~ Eternity Again

hello all...
been a long time since i didnt visit this website and been a long time since i didnt try to update my story...work and life problems took me away from my favorite hobby which is writing...im not sure if i would be able to finish this story since i have planned so many development for it but while writing i do change it depending on its twists....i miss everything about writing and about reading ur updates...thing is i was abroad in gulf countries for work and now im back home for vacation hence i could log onto this site cause back there its totally blocked...hence my struggles to update let alone post any of that matter...im trying my best to find sth that could really help me to remove this block on the webiste while im there and if i did ill be back on track of my story hopefully...

_________________
So you found out today your life's not the same...
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday...
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn...
But you never gave up this easily before...
So why do you choose today to give it all away.......
She's my angel love