The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

General Chat  || Kitten  || WaV  || Pens  || Mi2  || GMP  || TiE  || FAQ  || Feed - The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 62 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: The Hardest Part
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 11:23 am 
Offline
2. Floating Rose
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 4:42 pm
Posts: 28
Location: Ontario, Canada
Hey Kittens! I'm sorry it has taken me SO long to post an update. Life kind of happened in a way that made it seem impossible to write. Hopefully this update is kind of worth the long wait.

WillowRulez - Haha, reading back on it, I also am fond of the Xander part of the dream. I oddly enough ALWAYS have dreams like that one.

BigBlueEyes - Here is some more. Sorry about the wait. Hopefully you'll still read it!

db - Haha, thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

willohand - Thanks willohand! Hopefully you're not still upset with me! Though, seeing as it took me years to update, and that update wasn't for summercamp, I am assuming that you might be! I am hoping that you weren't stared down by too many people as you cried in the streets of New York, but here is a new chapter for you to ease that pain. Thanks again for the comment!

I_love_Danish - Haha, yeah, Leisha made the L Word. But that was kind of a rollercoaster of a series anyway. But I'm glad you enjoyed the update. I was kinda going for a combination of what the dream episode of Buffy was like, and what my dreams are actually like, haha, and that is what I came up with. Hope that you like this update as well!

DaddyCatALSO - Haha, yeah, I read Neverland, and the dreams always got me in that one, haha. That's funny about your dreams! I usually know what I am saying, but I do have dreams where no matter how hard I try, I can't move off something, or walk somewhere, or use my arms the way I want to, and those are very frustrating dreams!

kimmy_s - Well, I can't say anything about your late feedback, seeing as I was REALLY late with an update. So, you shall forever be off the hook, haha. And apparently the beginning of the dream confused a few people, so you're not alone there, haha. Thanks very much for the lovely compliments, and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!

CrazyTaraWitch - haha, "less depressing". Yeah, this story isn't a good one to read if you're looking for a happy boost. Haha, I like your solution.. and it would probably take less time than filling it with onions... children tend to be bigger!

Moolit - Here is your update. So sorry it took so long. I hope you haven't given up on me. I also love the angsty fics, and I will complete this one! Thanks for the comments!

mag - Haha, we will see what happens. Thanks for the comments. Here's an update for you.

MiniShrink - Haha, I will! You're right, I do want to!

musicmad10 - Thanks for the comment! Here is your update!

*************************************************************************************
Title: The Hardest Part

Author: Katie AKA Luv4WillTara

Spoilers: AU fic..

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Inc. etc.

Setting: Set around the time of season 4!

Summary: Willow tries to cope with her feelings for Tara.

Feedback: YES PLEASE.

Authors notes: This fic is kind of angsty, so if that’s not your cup of tea, I suggest reading something else. Also, this fic is done in first person perspective (Willow’s perspective) so if that’s also not your cup of tea, then this will be quite an unpleasing fic for some of you. But I hope you give it a chance

************************************************************************************************

Chapter Seven

I grabbed a towel off of the hanger and began running it through my hair, shuddering a little as a few stray drops of water escaped and ran down my back. I felt nervous. The decision to go see Tara was not an easy one to make, but the sound of hurt in her voice as she spoke to Buffy the night before had punctured through my resolve. I missed her, and even though it was heartbreaking to be around her, I couldn't keep causing Tara pain. I dressed quickly, trying my best to steady my heartbeat as I scooped my keys up off the table, my hand brushing the side of the answering machine in the process.

"Here goes nothing!" I grabbed the door handle, feeling the metal slip a bit on the nervous sweat that had begun to form on my palms. I wiped my hand on my jeans, allowing the denim to absorb the moisture, while I closed the door behind me with my other hand. Man, am I nervous! A feeling of sadness started to creep into my gut at that thought. Going to see Tara had always made me nervous, but it was an excited type of nervousness; an eagerness to spend time with the blonde. Now, I just felt uncomfortable. I wanted to see Tara, but I didn't at the same time. I felt conflicted. I reached into my pocket and began playing with the change I found in it. I felt comforted by this action, and often did it when feeling stressed. I took out a quarter and began tracing my finger around its rigid edges, enjoying the feeling as each ridge collided with a groove on my finger.

I walked by the 24 Hour coffee shop and knew that I was almost at Tara's place. The sight of the shop made my heart feel tighter, and I clenched my jaw to try and calm myself. I was being ridiculous. I decided to make myself go in. Bringing Tara a coffee would be both a nice gesture and an ice-breaker. Knowing that I had no idea what I was going to say when I saw the girl, the concept of an ice-breaker became very appealing. I walked up to the counter and placed my order, not sure if asking for two mochas instead of one made me feel excited or just more empty. I shook my head and grabbed the beverages, forcing a smile as the clerk told me to 'have a nice day'. I walked to the exit, using my shoulder to push the door open, and grimmaced as the heat from the coffee began to seep through the paper cup and sting my hands. I continued my walk, side-stepping to make sure I didn't run into the little old lady who was looking at a list instead of watching where she was going. I rounded a corner and found myself standing outside of Tara's apartment. I took a deep breath and walked up the stairs. I kicked the door three times, hoping it would make a successful 'knocking' sound, as my hands were preoccupied with holding the coffees. The moment I knocked, I wished I hadn't. I suddenly felt as if I were paralyzed. I made a mistake. I wasn't ready to see her, to be friends with her again. It was too soon, things still felt too fresh. I began to panic and turned, feeling I still had time to escape before Tara answered the door. But as I lifted my foot to flee, I heard the lock click, and the door handle begin to turn.

"Willow!" Tara exclaimed, looking as though she had been truly caught off-gaurd. She stepped towards me and lifted her hand slightly, looking as if she wanted to touch me but then deciding against it.

"I, um, I brought mochas. They're extra chocolate-y!" I scrunched my face into a nervous smile, feeling slightly embarrassed by my greeting, but hoping it was enough. Tara stood there, looking shocked, and I wished that she would say something. I could feel my emotions bubbling up as I looked at the blonde, and I looked down at the coffees to try to compose myself.

"Do you w-want to come in?" I looked up and saw the vulnerability on Tara's face as she asked the question. The sight cut into me and I knew that I would lose my composure if I tried to say anything. I nodded as a sad smile began to tug at my lips. Tara opened the door wider and stepped to the side to let me pass, holding my gaze as I entered her apartment. I set the mochas down on coffee table and turned to face the blonde. I had no idea what to say. I felt the emptiness inside of me pull to Tara, and I craved the comfort of her arms and her hands, but knew that I no longer had the right to touch her freely. I twisted my fingers together as I searched my brain for something to say.

"S-so you, um, brought coffee?" Tara asked, nodding to the beverages on her table, her arms folded over herself.

"Oh, yeah. I figured if I was going to show up all early and unannounced, the least I could do was bring some caffeine-y goodness." I could hear the nervousness in my voice as I grabbed the mocha off the table. I walked towards Tara and handed her the cup, keeping my eyes averted as our bodies came in close. I could feel the air around my skin buzzing and I quickly stepped away.

"Th-thanks," Tara said with a shy smile. She looked slightly hurt at my obvious need to keep distance between us, but I could tell she understood.

"S-so, how have you been?" I recognized the look of defeat on Tara's face that occurred every time her stutter came back, and I felt for the girl. I knew this wasn't easy on her, and I felt bad for making things so awkward between us.

"You know, taking it day by day. It's hard, not being around you. But things are just.. complicated." I began twisting my hands again. I hadn't spoken to Tara about my feelings since the day I told her I loved her. I began to become very nervous again at this realization.

"Well, I wish you w-would.. be around me, I mean. I miss you." The words hit me like bricks. I clenched my jaw, trying to suppress the urge to cry or pull Tara in for a hug. I caught Tara's eyes, and I could feel my resolve breaking down. My throat became dry and tense, and I felt a single tear escape me. I hated how weak I had become. Tara stepped forward immediately, as if it was an involuntary action to protect me. She wiped away my tear with her thumb, her face looking pained as she caught my eye. She lowered her hand and stepped back, looking as if she was unsure whether or not she had crossed a line with me. She dropped her head and allowed her hair to fall over her face. I missed the contact the moment her hand left my face, and stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her. She reciprocated the hug immediately, and I briefly let myself get lost in the comfort of her arms. A sense of relief began to flood through me, and I felt a glimmer of happiness that I hadn't felt in a long time. I pulled out of the hug much sooner than I wanted to, and I could feel Tara reluctantly let me go. I knew that if I let the contact continue any longer, it would undo any progress I had made, and make being friends with blonde seem impossible.

"I should go," I said, knowing that I didn't really want to leave, but feeling it was for the best. I needed to take this in stages; baby steps. I could see that Tara looked worried. I wanted to reassure her, but I wasn't sure how. I couldn't tell her it was okay, because I wasn't sure if it was.

Tara faked a shy smile and nodded, self-consciously wrapping her arms around herself. She lowered her head to let her hair fall over her face again, and I instantly felt awful. I tugged lightly on her sleeve and gave her a sad smile when she raised her head.

"Thanks for inviting me in," I said, unsure of what else to say. Tara smiled softly and gave me a nod as if to say 'anytime'. I let go of her sleeve and walked to the door, looking down at my feet to encourage them to keep me moving. I reached for the handle and felt sadness sink in when my hand made contact with it. I opened the door and began to walk through it when Tara's voice stopped me.

"Willow.. don't disappear on me." Tara softly raised her head, her eyes barely visible under her brow, and held my gaze with a shy vulnerability. It felt like my heart broke all over again, but in a dfferent way. In a way that made me feel awful for ever hurting this girl; a way that made me miss what I had with her. It made me want to put things back the way they were.

"I won't," I said with both a soft and stern look. With that, I closed the door. My mocha sat forgotten on Tara's coffee table as I headed home.

_________________
So my friend tells me that because I'm gay, I am going to hell! So I figure if everyone who's gay goes to hell, hell is just one big gay bar!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Hardest Part
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 11:17 pm 
Offline
5. Willowhand
User avatar

Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2011 2:08 am
Posts: 320
Topics: 6
Location: Netherlands
DIBS!

I read this for the first time last night and I'm glad you descided to pick it up again. I like stories that don't go as smoothly as it always seems to go with our girls. I really enjoy stories that are long and angsty, so I am really looking forward to the rest, and I hope it takes a while for them to get together :grin

I hope you will keep updating, because it will be sad if another great story ends up in the unfished section!

xx Fallon


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 62 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 22 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron

W/T Love 24/7 since July 2000
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group