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[center]See Chapter One for disclaimers. Starcomed thanks for seeing me through this.[/center]
Chapter Six – Exhausting
By the time Willow got home from Tara’s she was somewhat calm. It was still a shock - a baby, a whole little human that Tara was going to give birth to.
Willow picked up the phone. “Tara?”
Tara was sitting by the phone waiting for Willow to call her. She wanted to be sure that Willow made it home safely.
Well that went ok… for the most part. Morning sickness, pregnancy acceptance, and baby revelation. The phone rang expectantly, and she paused briefly before picking up. “Hi Willow.”
“I made it home ok, you know, just calling.” Willow bit her lip, wanting to ask again about the possibility of seeing Tara tomorrow. She was determined to do something more, but was stalled on a ‘maybe’ and not being pushy.
“I’m glad.” Tara held back. She was torn; she could sense the eagerness and expectation in Willow’s voice. She suddenly recalled the ‘fix’ idea; it gave her more reason to hesitate.
No, I should take my time.
Willow waited on the static air on the other end of the phone. Tara’s momentary pause made her anxious. Truthfully, Willow didn’t quite know what was the right or wrong thing to do… or say.
Tara continued. “So, I’m kind of busy tomorrow. Maybe we can see each other on Saturday, um, later in the day?” She had other things to do that morning.
“Oh, sure. Absolutely!” Willow masked her discouragement with an overly cheery reply. It felt like a setback. She had been good in the face of it all, only experiencing total meltdown after the fact and away from Tara. But what was she expecting? An easy fix, a simple ‘all’s forgiven’? This wasn’t instantaneous. No, this was work, slow and painful work.
So, ‘maybe tomorrow’ means ‘no’. Will ‘maybe Saturday’ be ‘yes’?
Tara couldn’t help feeling a little bad. Willow was being too cheery to mask her obvious disappointment. But Tara held firm. “I’ll call you. Bye Willow.”
“Nite Tara.” Willow set down the receiver.
Tara didn’t quite put the receiver down; holding it slightly away until she heard the final click and the phone went dead. Then she put the phone in the cradle slowly. She walked over to the folded down futon and sat down, running her hand down the length of it.
Willow was sweet, she is really trying… but she’s still completely overwhelmed. Can I really blame her? Tara pulled the covers back and slid under the sheets, and then she turned her bedside light off. The fairy lights remained on; Tara always found them comforting. They were like little stars, reminding her of her mother, who had once strung a set around her room when she was a little girl.
Tara turned over, taking the sheets with her so she was in a snug roll. She was tired, her body and mind were exhausted. The pregnancy made everything so much more intense. It was easy to surrender to sleep, to let go of all her doubts and questions for the moment and just rest. She closed her eyes and drifted off to a happier, easier place. She was asleep instantly.
Willow slowly made her way to her bed. ‘I’ll call you.’ It echoed in her head, as a thousand other thoughts orbited haphazardly around her brain.
A baby. Okay, okay. How can she do this, well I mean I know how… but how? She’s… we’re both so young. No, she hasn’t asked me for anything and I can’t or won’t let her do this alone. BUT, I’m just not ready for this! How can Tara be ready for this? Great, I’m babbling in my head. She fell onto her bed.
Her brain couldn’t shut down. Lying on top of the covers and still in her day clothes, Willow drifted off erratically, before finally falling into an agitated sleep, surrounded by questions and conjecture.
---
Willow rolled around, tangled in the covers of the bed and gripping a pillow. Then she turned over until she belly-flopped onto the floor and woke up completely startled. “Ouch!” Suddenly scrambling back, she grabbed at the pillow that was pinned beneath her. She cradled it in her arms as she stared at it completely bewildered.
Um, what the? Then she turned to scowl at the alarm clock as it sat screaming and blinking on the bedside table. Leaning back against the side of her bed with the pillow in her lap, she reached up and turned the wailing thing off. Her mind was drifting trying to remember, but waking was bringing consciousness and reason to body and mind. Willow yawned, stretched, and shook her head.
Dreaming, important stuff… can’t remember, it’s… it’s gone.
With the last tendrils of sleep slackened off and her awakened logical mind in place, she lost the final thread of the dream. It had faded into the ether. There was something she needed to do, but she couldn’t remember what that was. She grumbled and got up, throwing the twisted covers on the bed. Then gently she set the pillow down on top of everything else.
It was Friday, another day of empty space to fill until the ‘maybe’ of Saturday.
Ugh, shower, change clothes, and ‘maybe’….
Waiting on Saturday made Willow’s Friday drag by. It felt like a long day of nothing, and she contented herself with scribbling out little things here and there. She didn’t sleep well and she was testy. Despite invitations to hang out, she avoided the Scoobies that night with the well-worn excuse of ‘homework’.
---
Saturday finally. Willow let out a long breath. After another rough night, she was still tired.
When did I finally fall asleep last night? I know I was dreaming again. I wish could remember. Oh no, no wishing! Just like the previous night, she had fallen into a restless sleep in her day clothes. Not even bothering to change, she made her way to Giles’. There was just too much on her mind and she had another headache.
- knock, knock -
Giles opened the door. “Willow, come in.”
Willow looked at him with doleful eyes and stepped through the threshold.
“How are you? And Tara? Have you finally spoken?” He noticed her beleaguered state.
She nodded. “Oh well, fine, if you count getting your friend pregnant.” Willow bit her lip. “Tara’s good, I think…well better than me.”
Giles nodded and motioned towards the living room. A tray of tea and scones were already on the table.
“How can this be happening?” She took a seat on the couch and glanced at him hopefully.
Maybe he knows something… more?
“We’ve already determined how this can happen and how it has happened.” He turned away from her and pulled the Sumerian volume off the shelf.
Willow furrowed her brow and whispered, “Giles, Tara’s keeping the baby.”
Giles said nothing.
He tucked the book under his arm. Then he removed his glasses, cleaned them once, almost put them on, and then cleaned them again. He paused, folding one arm under the other as he pinched the spot between his eyes before finally sliding his glasses back in place. “Eh, hem. I see.”
“‘I see’, that’s all you can say? How about ‘good lord’ or ‘dear god’ or ‘for the love of all that’s Hellmouthy’!” Willow flayed her hands about in the air.
Giles had patiently put up with her brooding for over a month now. He had handled the delicate situation with tact and decorum. But he had had enough. “What do you expect me to say?” His face became serious and he pointed the book at her. “You took it upon yourself to perform a ritual without forethought and without supervision… again. You’ve involved another person in a reckless scheme to rid yourself of your grievous feelings magickally, instead of dealing with them like an adult. You used magick as a means to an end; it was unjustified and selfish.”
Willow crumbled under his reprimands. “Ah, not really needing admonishment and the hairy eyeball just now Giles.”
“I’m afraid you do. Your actions caused this and it cannot be so easily erased.” He huffed rigidly, and then softened. Mistakes had been made, things were now complicated, but escalating the situation wasn’t going to help matters.
“I know, and I know I screwed up. Trust me, I KNOW!” She sighed heavily as she grabbed a scone and bit into it. “But what about the ritual, the incantation? I mean, is there anything to that ‘wishes’ business?” Willow hoped he would have some insight.
“Well, I have been doing more research into the Inanna ritual. It is a fertility spell which we’ve confirmed.” Giles opened the volume that was bookmarked with a small note written by Willow. He scanned the note then peered at her curiously.
Willow rolled her eyes and took another bite of her scone. “Got that, sooo got that.” They had been over
that several times.
He looked at her sympathetically, and then continued. “It was translated from Sumerian to Latin and from Latin into English, so a few things may have been lost in translation. Even so, much of it is shrouded in mystery. It was used by Kings and Queens, well, in the privacy of… their, um, bedchambers.”
“Oh-ho. It should of came with a warning!” Willow stood up, and pointed a scone corner at the text accusingly.
“It did.” Giles tilted the book towards Willow and pointed at the small lines of text at the bottom of the page.
“I must have missed that.” She sat back down.
“Yes, so we’ve established.” He shook his head.
She deflated. “That wasn’t the spell I was looking for to get over Oz. Where’s the spell for grief-stricken widows when I needed it?”
“Widows? The spells are listed alphabetically. ‘Widowed’ spells are towards the back.” Giles flipped a few pages.
Widows?
“Great, what good is my huge frontal lobe if I can’t do the alphabet?” She slumped back further into the couch.
He shut the book and put it down on the table to give her his full attention.
“But what about the whole ‘wish’ thing? What’s that about?” Willow looked at him questioningly. “I mean can that spell… make you feel things?”
Giles looked at her questioningly. “No. It’s a fertility spell. Why, do you feel something differently? Does Tara?”
“No, I… I was just wondering.”
“Although….”
“What, what?” Willow sat up.
“Most rituals require a level mind, clear from emotions and influence, in synchronization with the forces of nature to be performed correctly. This, like most spells of this ilk, requires… well, a certain amount of emotional desire. I surmise in this case, the word ‘wishes’ isn’t really a ‘wish’ per say, it has more to do with want and need.” He took off his glasses and placed the end of one of the handles in his mouth. Then he continued on, waving his glasses as he spoke. “It stands to reason that the two… people… involved must have a strong connection, well-synchronized with each other. Intriguing really.” He smiled slightly at his own insight.
“Giles, this is no time to be excited about your keen observations. Hello, impregnated another girl because of spell.” She raised her hand.
Not really feeling the strong-ness of connections right now. More like strained… thanks to me. But want? Do I have want? Well, I want to be her friend, want to help with the baby, ugh, want to… uh… spend time with her like before all cuddly friends. Cuddly friends? But need? Did I have need? Did Tara?
He gave her a flat look and put his glasses back on. “Oh, well forgive my incredible frivolous mirth, and let me slip back into my usual restrained sobriety.” He then became very somber, but ventured forth tactfully. “So Tara has made her final decision then?”
Final, so final. “Yeah.”
“What of her family? Is she… alone?”
Willow shook her head. “No family.” She instantly panicked. “Giles what am I going to do? She can’t… and I can’t…. I can’t even drive!”
He leveled her with an unbelieving stare, but kept his voice even and gentle. “Willow, you’re responsible for this. And you need to do everything to be supportive for Tara’s sake. Especially if she is alone.” He may not have completely agreed, considering the circumstances, but he was ready to be supportive of Tara’s decision. Her willingness to deal with the situation, no matter how difficult they were, spoke highly of the young woman.
“I know… and I will, but… Giles, it’s a baby! The last time I had anything to do with a baby-anything it turned out to be an egg from hell. Oh my god! You don’t think the baby could be…?”
“I highly doubt that. I’m sure it’s just a baby.” Giles cocked his head slightly.
But a magickal baby nonetheless?
“Baby? What baby?” The front door swung open as Buffy and Xander walked in, holding coffees.
“Do we have some kind of new Hellmouth baby demony thing that needs slayage?” Xander flopped down next to Willow and held a large to-go coffee cup out to her. “Geez Will, did you sleep in those or what?” He looked at her crumpled clothes peppered with scone crumbs. He knew she had been a mess since Oz left, but things seemed to get better for a while. Then over the last month everything seemed to get worse again.
“Please tell me I don’t have to go after something with eggs again.” Buffy walked in, and threw her bag on a chair. She had spent the night at Riley’s and suddenly felt guilty, seeing Willow in wreckage form again. Her best friend seemed to be spiraling out of control. “Ah, Willow are you ok? Did you fall asleep at your desk again?”
“Yeah I’m fine. Heavy study session last night.” Willow replied quickly, annoyed at the arrival of her friends. She was about to take the coffee, then abruptly shook her head. Instead she slumped down into the couch, gnawing on last of her scone.
Slayer hearing – ugh. God, I sooo could use the coffee, but no, not if I’m gonna see Tara. I don’t want to make her sick. I mean how acute is a pregnant woman’s sense of smell? All she did was sniff it down the hall and she was sick. I didn’t even smell it! It wasn’t a theory she wanted to test. So, it was safer to forego the coffee, no matter how tempting.
Xander shook the coffee at her. “Mocha, Will?” He watched her become grumpier as he peered at her questioningly.
Since when does Willow not accept a free mocha? “Oh-kay, I’ll just set this down then.”
“So, demon baby?” Buffy queried swiveling around to face Giles.
“No!” Willow exclaimed as Giles turned towards her, slightly surprised by her outburst.
“Well, actually… Giles and I were trying to come up with our own special Scooby danger signal word.” Willow blinked wide-eyed, amazed at her own white lie and stared pleadingly at Giles. She just couldn’t tell either of her best friends yet.
“All 007-y like.” Xander sat up excitedly. Then he suddenly twitched and grabbed a bunch of tissues out of his pocket, quickly putting them up to his nose to stifle a sneeze. He was unsuccessful. “AHH-CHOO!”
Giles gave him a look.
“Sah-ree.” Xander wiped his nose. “Basement living’s kind of damp.”
Willow and Buffy shook their heads simultaneously. Xander’s living arrangement left little to be desired.
Buffy tilted her head. “Um, ‘baby’? Not so dangery sounding.”
“That’s precisely why it so ingenious. Imagine, ‘the baby… the tiny, tiny babies’.” Giles focused on Willow and muttered quietly to himself. “I sound ridiculous. I need to learn to lock my door.”
“Haven’t you used that before?” Buffy tilted her head the other way.
“Well, yes.”
Absolutely ridiculous. Giles shifted uncomfortably.
“And how’d that go?”
“Not very well I’m afraid.” He regained his composure.
“Right, so no ‘baby’ danger signal word!” Willow nervously butted in and grabbed another scone. “So what are you guys doing here?”
“Ah, Scooby meeting? Not to mention, you know, slayer watcher relationship. Batman....” Buffy put a hand on her chest then waved it back at Giles. “…Alfred, minus the gadgets and mansion but heavy on the tea and pastries.”
Will is seriously off the ball. She forgot the meeting?
Xander held an index finger in the air. “I’m just tag-along guy, so no one better call me the ‘Boy Wonder’!” He dropped his finger right on an ancient book sitting in front of him and picked it up.
“Yes, well thank you for equating me with an stiffened English butler, whose sole purpose in life is to look after you.” Giles replied tonelessly while giving Willow a look.
Willow lowered her eyes under his gaze. She nibbled on her scone. Even so, she grinned when she turned towards her friends, who couldn’t help but glance at each other amusedly.
Giles, manservant.
Right, so Scooby meeting.
"Sure Alfred.” Xander smiled widely and opened the book, the tip of a brightly colored note getting his attention.
Willow looked helplessly at Giles.
Giles deftly snatched the volume from Xander snapping it shut, while Willow sat frozen in her seat. “I see Xander’s had an exacting influence on you.” He spoke to Buffy, as he safely tucked the Sumerian volume away on a shelf.
Xander jumped back slightly when Giles grabbed the book and the wad of tissues in his lap fell to the floor. “Geez, crusty old Alfred,” Xander whispered to Willow who was silently finishing off her scone.
Trusty manservant… leave it to Giles. She let out a breath of relief, and then stood up abruptly. “O-kay then, well I guess we should be researching. Right Giles?”
“Huh?”
Um, is something up? Wills is awfully jumpy? Buffy volleyed a suspicious glance between her best friend and watcher.
“Hey, what’s the rush Willster?” Xander looked at her curiously. “And what’s the what? Are you going for the all-time sugar high lately?”
Craving much? What’s going on here? Oz? Or, Buffy mentioned a Tara-Willow fight or something?
Buffy looked at Xander knowingly. Something has been bugging their best friend, but she remained aloof and distant. Sometimes she was overly chipper and trying too hard, or she was just plain moody. They had both tried several times to get her to talk; they invited her out. But it was always ‘no’, ‘got to study’, ‘not in the mood’, ‘you guys have fun’. It was time for a Scooby intervention.
Willow saw the look in her friend’s eyes. It just wasn’t time; she didn’t even know how to begin to explain things. She was still wrestling with everything herself. It was too overwhelming to include anyone else for now.
Giles knew he had to diffuse the situation, at the very least, for Tara’s sake. It wasn’t wise to make revelations without the mother’s consent. He turned back to address Buffy. “We need to discuss some advanced training and tactics. The Hellmouth has been far too quiet as of late. After you’re last patrol you mentioned demons and vampires cooperating?” He pulled a large book off his desk and handed it to Xander. “And, I could use some research assistance.”
“Hey, I just came along for the free pastries! Will’s the brainy one.” Xander held the heavy book in his lap with a dogged expression on his face. Then grumbled to himself as he bent down to pick up his fallen tissues. They crinkled oddly as he stuffed them into his back pocket.
Buffy pouted. “A slayer’s life is never fun. All responsibility and no fun make for a pouty slayer.”
Responsibility? You have no idea. Willow took a seat at Giles’ desk, away from her friends.
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Early Saturday morning Tara awoke with the now familiar pressure on her bladder feeling. At the very least it always spurred her out of bed; a physical reminder to keep her focused on her health and the baby. Still, she was physically and emotionally tired and drained.
Even though the first real talk with Willow went well enough, it was difficult. It was necessary and Tara was glad she had finally spoken to Willow, but there was still so much to deal with. It was best to take things slow. On her own, she was able to take care of things for herself and the baby, without Willow-complications.
So, Willow later… maybe.
Tara made her way back to the Women’s Health Clinic for the last part of her prenatal classes, the Early Series for Young Parents. It specifically addressed concerns for young mothers and fathers including money management, returning to school and/or work, childcare, and single parenting.
She briefly, very briefly, considered asking Willow to accompany her to this last session. It was a fleeting thought, but one she was slightly stuck on.
After all, she said she wanted to help. But, you saw what she looked like when she left…. I mean, she put on a brave face and all, but she was, um, completely freaked out.
Tara shook her head. No, she couldn’t imagine Willow in prenatal class. What she wanted and what was a reality were in complete opposition to each other. She couldn’t spend her time idly dreaming; there was someone more important to think of now. That’s why she went to the Women’s Clinic. Some of the topics in class covered many things that seemed like common knowledge to her, but the supportive environment helped. It eased her mind.
In the first class they talked about making informed decisions about lifestyle choices. She laughed to herself.
‘Lifestyle choices?’ Try young, gay, single, and magicakally impregnated! It covered many basics. She was surprised that they didn’t offer a Sunnydale specific ‘avoiding dark places at night and alone’ lecture.
The second class covered coping with the physical and emotional changes.
Coping… if they only knew.
Tara approached the clinic. She just couldn’t help thinking about Willow.
Today’s class seems so perfect for Willow, technical and scientific… maybe in other circumstances... with someone else.
The sliding glass doors whooshed open before her.
Today we learn about the stages of your development, medical procedures, and birthing options. She laid a hand on her stomach and smiled.
Tara walked towards the receptionist desk.
“Hi Tara, how are you feeling today?” The young nurse receptionist greeted her warmly.
“Pretty good for being exhausted; thanks for asking Lee.” Tara smiled at the dark-haired woman, who had proven to be a real godsend. She got Tara in quickly for her initial exam, then gave her lots of advice and information, got her enrolled in the prenatal classes, and helped her with the insurance and services paperwork.
Lee smiled wearily on the other side of the counter as she removed a marker in an appointment book.
Tara walked over to a room where a pastel yellow flyer saying ‘Welcome!’ hung on the door. She opened it and looked at the eight now familiar faces. Three young couples and one other single mother-to-be surrounded a table with healthy snacks on it. The lecturing nurse sat perched up on a corner of the table speaking to one of the fathers. All the couples were very nice and friendly, always trying to include her and the other single mom in conversations, while never mentioning the ‘fathers’. Still it was awkward and difficult for her. The other single mom, Brenda, was more than inclined to offer her story. Her boyfriend got her pregnant, abandoned her, and was now seeing someone else. Brenda punctuated her story with several colorful descriptions of her ex-boyfriend; he deserved it and worse. But Tara remained quiet and that seemed to make the woman even more intrigued as she tried to get Tara to confide in her.
“Hi Tara.” Brenda instantly launched into a tirade. “Did I tell you what Brad said to me…?”
‘Brenda and Brad,’ just the names together were disastrous. As Tara politely listened, yet again, to a variation on Brenda’s story, her thoughts turned to Willow. It would be easy to plug that name in to the other woman’s story and make it her own. Except she and Willow had never been ‘together-together’ and really Willow wasn’t like that ‘guy’. If anything, Willow was making an effort.
Thankfully the nurse stood up and getting everyone’s attention cut Brenda’s rant short. Tara took a seat and placed a well-stuffed folder on the table in front of her.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Willow, I trust you have everything well in hand.” Giles raised his head towards Willow as she got ready to leave. His other two charges, Buffy and Xander, had already left. He held Willow behind on the pretense of assisting with more research, but it was really to help the poor girl from further badgering from her well-meaning friends.
Willow nodded somberly. I’ve got to get it together. I can help defeat Big Bads and stop apocalypses, right? So, I can help Tara handle a little baby. It’s just a baby, right? She gave him a weak smile before leaving. “Thanks again Giles.”
Responsibility, it is my responsibility. Willow meandered slowly away from Giles’. She felt worn out and dragged her feet, feeling weighted down by all her thoughts and emotions.
Tara and a baby. I want to help, I do, and I will.
She walked hazily through town, only half concentrating on her physical state and surroundings.
Stepping into the crosswalk she nearly fell, tripping on the pitted asphalt. She did a half step, stumble, and small twist.
Hey! Rubbley roads. Roads need to be fixed… should be fixed. That’s why we pay taxes. So where’s all the money go if they aren’t fixing the roads? Money? How’s Tara going to be able to afford this?
A jock in a UCS sweatshirt stood before her as she stepped up on the sidewalk. She stared at the letters on his chest.
Is she going to stay in school? Will she quit?
Tara’s going to have… a baby… my baby! She walked past a slightly older woman, cooing and rocking a stroller while the baby inside cried. Her eyes went wide, and as she passed she turned to watch the woman pick up the wailing child.
Tara can’t manage this without help. She just wants me to be supportive and that’s all. But I have to do more than that, ‘cause this really is my screw up. And, she’s my friend… and… well, she’s Tara.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Do you have a moment to talk?” Lee called out, catching sight of Tara.
“Um, sure.”
“Follow me.” Lee ushered them to a small room. They each took a seat at a small table opposite one another.
“I just wanted to go over a few things with you. We got all your paperwork finished and you easily qualify for both your health insurance and financial assistance.”
Tara nodded. It was a mountain of paperwork that took hours to wade through, but taking everything to the social services office was even worse. It was an experience she wouldn’t easily forget.
“Right. You will be assigned a caseworker and they should contact you soon. Again, you’re all covered for now under the ‘Presumptive Eligibility for Pregnant Women’ up until your fifth month. But, your insurance should kick in well before then to cover you for the rest of your pregnancy.”
“Thanks.” Tara smiled in relief; it was one thing off her mind.
“Ok, any questions so far?”
Tara shook her head.
“So, here’s some information for you about your options at school. There’s a contact number for a counselor in case you need it. You should also talk to your academic advisor regarding your options for continuing your education and financial aid.”
“T-thanks, I….” Tara was surprised, she had mentioned wanting to stay in school only in passing.
Lee continued handing Tara a small appointment reminder card. “So, you have an appointment with Dr. Pfeiffer next week for a
real prenatal exam and your first sonogram.” The receptionist joked good-naturedly.
Tara blushed; she had really jumped the gun when she first walked into the clinic. She was so ill-prepared. Her first visit only confirmed her pregnancy and checked her general health. Basically, it got her in the door and set up for what was to come. Tara took the small card, tucking it into her binder sitting on the table.
Lee’s voice dropped slightly. “Tara, I know you were reluctant to talk about the father on your first visit. And I understand, I do… but it would be good to have the father’s health history on record. It’s in the best interest of the baby to have a complete family health history available. You don’t have to name names.” With a small smile, she handed Tara a form.
The ‘father’. Tara let out a long breath. Suddenly thinking about extracting that information from Willow took all the wind out of her. “I-I’ll have the information on my n-next visit. Thanks Lee.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Willow scanned the grounds as she approached the campus. Even amongst the student body, she immediately spotted Tara cutting across the grass. Something urged her forward and she took off at a brisk pace to catch up.
Tara patted her stomach lightly.
All in all, that went well. Informative huh? She was now well armed, with a folder full of information from the Clinic’s prenatal classes. As she crossed campus she had a feeling that Willow was close by.
“Hey, Tara.” Willow jogged up next to Tara.
“Hi W-Willow.” Tara stopped hesitantly. She was still unsure of Willow. Plus, with all the information she had in her hands, this just wasn’t the time or place to get into anything. She clutched the folder protectively.
“Hi. I… I, ah. Do you maybe want to hang out? Maybe I can come over?” Willow smiled wearily as Tara held a binder up against her chest.
She looks as tired as I feel. Tara inspected Willow’s roughened appearance. She wanted to reach over to fix the rumpled collar. She imagined running her fingers along the material up and around Willow’s neck, her fingers grazing across the delicate collarbone and over soft skin. She smiled to herself as a dream came back to her, then she abruptly snapped to.
Stop daydreaming. “M-Maybe you should get some rest, or c-cleaned up first?”
Willow noticed something in Tara’s eyes, but couldn’t quite pinpoint it. Instead she looked down at herself, embarrassed. “Yeah, I guess I’m kind of a mess.” She tried to smooth out her clothes, then gave up. “I’m going to have a shower and change, then I’d like to….” She had an urge to somehow bridge the gap between them.
“H-hang out? Ok, but later. I need a nap. I’m a little tired. I’ll call you.”
Willow frowned a bit, but nodded. It used to be so much simpler, she’d ask and Tara would say ‘yes’.
But it isn’t simple anymore and Tara has so much to deal with. “Right, a nap and such. I understand. Ok, so later?”
Tara headed back to her room.
I did say ‘later’ after all. Willow looked like such a wreck, and when she frowned Tara felt bad. But that’s what got her in this predicament in the first place. She kept putting Willow before her own needs and she just couldn’t anymore.
Not anymore.
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DarkWiccan this Giles is for you. “Leave it to Giles” by DW, it’s a rousing good time check it out!
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an update! how exciting!