The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 4:03 pm 
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:46 am
Posts: 678
I know what you're thinking! Tiggr already has 2 unfinished stories on the board and has promised 3 others that she hasn't even written, so why on earth is she starting another one. Of course, maybe you weren't thinking that at all. This just struck me as a fun idea as I was sitting in traffic yesterday.

The wonderfully amusing movie, D.E.B.S. has not left my DVD player for about a month. I beg forgiveness from the amazingly talented, Angela Robinson, who is the writer of this brilliant tale. Her dialogue and scenes are so funny that you will often find I haven't changed much, just adapted it to our girls. I hope you enjoy this!

Title: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
Author: Tiggrscorpio
Feedback: Yes, please!
Spoilers: This is extremely AU but if you haven’t seen the film D.E.B.S. you might want to skip reading this until you do.
Pairing: W/T, who else!
Rating: PG-13 but we might see a steamy love scene or two.
Disclaimers: The truly brilliant Angela Robinson is the creator of the D.E.B.S. characters. I hope she will forgive me for playing with them. The seriously misguided Joss Whedon owns the Buffy characters. Please don’t sue me – all you will get is an extremely expensive mortgage.
Summary: If you’ve seen the movie D.E.B.S. then you know all you need to know. If not, please see this wonderfully fun film, and then, read this story about how a sexy spy falls in love with an alluring villainess.

Here is a cheat sheet to clarify the characters:

Tara – Amy Bradshaw
Willow – Lucy Diamond
Faith – Max
Buffy – Janet
Kendra – Dominique
Anya – Ninotchka
Xander – Scud
Larry – Bobby
Giles – Mr. Phipps
Jenny Calendar – Ms. Petrie


Chapter 1

There is a secret test hidden within the S.A.T. This test does not measure a student’s aptitude at reading, writing and arithmetic. It measures a student’s innate ability to lie, cheat, fight and kill. Those who score well are recruited into a secret para-military academy. Some call them seductresses; some call them spies; fools call them innocent. They call themselves…S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.

Sunnydale, California – S.C.O.O.B.Y. House

The elegant white house in the quiet suburban neighborhood looked like all of the other homes on the tree-lined street. But the four young women who occupied this residence were anything but ordinary. Inside their spacious and tastefully decorated living room, on one of the main walls, hung a portrait of the quartet.

To the far left was Faith Lehane. The dark eyed temptress had an attitude as full as her lips. A borderline psychotic, from Boston, she was the leader of the Scooby’s. When it came to fighting evil, Faith was in charge.

On the far right was Kendra. Just Kendra. She was too cool for a last name. The island beauty was Jamaican born and bred and had a thing for the boys. All boys. She could book ‘em and bed ‘em in between chain smoking her cigarettes.

Next to Kendra was Buffy Summers. The perky blonde with the perfect ponytail was anything but little miss innocent. An LA native, her quick hands now hoisted a firearm, instead of shoplifting the latest trinkets from Rodeo Drive.

The All-American blonde next to Faith was the pride and joy of the S.C.O.O.B.Y. Academy. Tara Maclay was the only person to ever achieve a perfect score on the secret test in the S.A.T. Oregon raised, the book smart and beautiful cop captured hearts, along with criminals.

The portrait on the wall faded away to reveal a black screen television. The panel then displayed a silver leafed round medallion encircling a picture of the canine cop, Scooby Doo. This picture quickly dissolved into a stuffy looking, middle-aged white man with glasses.

“Good morning, Scooby’s,” he spoke in a distinct British accent.

Silence echoed throughout the house. He cleared his throat and said a bit louder but still very proper, “Good Morning, Scooby’s.”

There was still no response.

“Oh, dear lord,” he said removing his glasses and wiping them with a handkerchief. “I suppose it must be done,” he added putting his glasses back on. He then hit a large red button on his desk.

A blaring alarm sounded throughout the house. Faith sprang up in her bed, pulling a large gun out from under her pillow. In the room down the hall, Tara grumpily lifted a blue blindfold up and wiped her tired eyes. From another bedroom, Buffy leapt excitedly out of bed, energized to start a new day.

“Rise and shine, ladies,” Giles said politely in the background as Faith strutted across the floor in front of the upstairs monitor.

“Yeah, yeah, G-man,” Faith said opening the bedroom door next to the monitor.

The room looked empty except for the lumpy mattress on the floor.

“Kendra, get up!” Faith ordered. There was not movement from the bed. “Come on, Kendra…before Giles states some nauseating fact about the perils of sleeping late.”

The blanket drew back to reveal the obviously exhausted island beauty.

“Five minutes,” Faith took pity on the girl and started to close the door, but then opened it again. “And no boys allowed upstairs unless they’re in my room.”

Faith closed the door as Kendra peeled back her blanket further to reveal her bewildered bedtime companion.

“Out! Get out, mon!” she said cranky.

As Faith passed the monitor again on her way to Buffy’s room, Giles spoke up again.

“It’s interesting you mention sleeping issues…” he started

“Yeah, yeah,” Faith cut him off and opened Buffy’s door.

The perky blonde was already dressed in her blue plaid skirt and ruffled white shirt. She wore knee high white socks with her Maryjanes.

“Five minutes, B,” Faith said quickly.

“Did I leave my gun in the shower again?” the pony tailed girl asked frantically searching through her backpack.

Faith shook her head and left without answering. The phone rang and Faith picked up the hallway extension.

“Scooby’s, Faith here,” she answered and listened. “Tara, it’s for you,” she called out setting the receiver down on the credenza and walking off to get dressed.

“Hello,” Tara said picking up the phone in her room. She listened a second. “No, no…I’m not t-talking about this anymore,” she said before hanging up.

Back in Kendra’s room, she ordered the still dazed boy from her bed.

“Gweh, mon! An tek your clothes wit ya! Mi not ya mudda!”

Down the hall Buffy finally found her gun in the bottom of the laundry hamper. Back in Tara’s room, the blonde was fully dressed when her cell phone rang. She picked it up off the bed and answered it.

“Larry, seriously, it’s n-not a good time,” she said flustered and hung up again. She went to put her palm pilot in her book bag when it rang.
A stocky boy with dark brown hair appeared on the screen.

“When is a good time?” he asked her irritated.

“Stop calling,” Tara clicked off the image.

Downstairs, the other three girls were dressed and waiting for Tara. Kendra’s blue plaid skirt barely covered the tops of her thighs. Her skimpy white blouse was skin tight and her plaid tie hung loosely around her neck. Her legs were bare and she wore six inch heeled black pumps.

Faith’s blue plaid skirt was made of leather. She sported a white tank top and wore her tie around her waist like a belt. Calf-high combat books, with white athletic socks, completed her attire.

“TAAARRRRAAA,” Faith screamed.

“I’m coming!’ Tara called out picking up her backpack to leave her room. The watch on her wrist beeped. An image of Larry appeared on the faceplate.

“After all we’ve been through together,” he said desperately.

“Goodbye, Larry,” she said ending the call and leaving the room.

Tara bounded down the steps. Her blue plaid skirt was a modest length and her white blouse was perfectly tailored. Her tie was done up neatly. She wore white knee high socks, similar to Buffy’s, and her shoes were black flats.

The young ladies left the house and got into their black Volkswagen convertible. They headed for the S.C.O.O.B.Y. Academy. Faith drove like a maniac. Tara sat in the front passenger seat, with Kendra and Buffy in the back.

“I broke up with Larry,” Tara announced.

“That’s good, cause I think he’s gay,” Faith said.

“Nuh true! Chi chi mon!” Kendra concurred.

“I think he’s sweet,” Buffy threw in her two cents.

“Exactly…that’s my point!” Faith sneered pulling into the school parking lot.

“I’m just not in love,” Tara said sadly.

They exited the car and walked toward the cafeteria.

“It’s okay, T,” Faith reassured her friend. “We’ll find you a hot, heterosexual guy.”

Tara’s mood didn’t brighten as the entered the dining hall. Inside, several other students fawned over Tara. She greeted them sweetly, and then, joined her group who sat at one of the tables with their instructor, Mr. Giles.

“Hey, G-man,” Faith said sliding into the booth next to him.

“I do wish you would refrain from calling me that,” he said stiffly and uncomfortably.

“Hey, Mr. G,” Tara and Buffy said simultaneously.

“Hey, Mr. G, mon,” Kendra added.

The waitress appeared at their table to take their orders.

“French fries,” Faith ordered.

“Bean sprouts and a mineral water,” Tara went next.

“Chocolate ice cream with extra hot fudge sauce,” Buffy said eagerly.

“Aspirin…” Kendra offered weakly. “…and a rum and coke.”

The waitress left to place their unusual orders.

“Well, now…hmmm…,” Giles cleared his throat. “We have a special visitor with us this morning…um…girls…ladies…yes. Ms. Calendar will be joining us.”

“Ms. Calendar,” Faith said a bit too excited and got a round of suspicious stares from the other girls. “What? She’s hot! And she never comes down here.”

At that moment, Ms. Calendar’s image energized in front of the girls. The schools commandant was sexy, stylish and sassy. The stunning beauty with shoulder length black hair was in her mid-thirties and full of attitude.

“Good Morning, Mr. Giles,” her dark eyes devoured the teacher. “Is that a new tweed suit you’re wearing?” she winked at him.

“Um…well…er…yes…yes it is,” he flushed with embarrassment and looked down.

“Ms. Calendar, I just want to…” Faith addressed the woman.

Ms. Calendar held up her hand to silence the girl who looked stunned. “No time for pleasantries. Ladies, a matter of some urgency has come to my attention,” Ms. Calendar was suddenly all business. “Willow Emerald is back in the state.”

“Damn,” Faith looked serious.

“Oh, sheet, mon!” Kendra added.

“Really?” Tara asked excited. “I’m writing my thesis on her,” she told the group.

“Mr. Giles,” Ms. Calendar spoke up. “I expect to be kept in the loop on this, so…uh…stop by my office to update me…often.” She looked around the table. “Let’s show some hustle,” she clapped her hands and energized out of the room.

“Wow!” Faith said still surprised.

“I can’t believe she’s back,” Tara was also amazed.

“Who’s Willow Emerald?” Buffy asked cluelessly.

Giles fumbled for the instrument in the left breast pocket of his coat. He pulled out an item that looked like a regular pen. He pushed a button on the cap and an image appeared in front of the group.

The picture displayed a young woman with shoulder length, straight red hair. Her green eyes sparkled like her namesake – emeralds.

“Willow Emerald…she is the last surviving member of the Rosenberg crime syndicate. Her family did battle with the Moloch’s. They had a vicious blood feud for control of CRD laboratories that lasted decades,” Giles instructed the ladies. “After her father’s death, she took over. She’s proficient in computer tampering, illegal wire transfers and her favorite activity…emerald smuggling. She protected by a rather goofy looking squad, led by this man…” An image of a gangly, young man with dark hair, bushy eyebrows and chocolate brown eyes appeared in front of them. “…Xander. It is believed that Willow Emerald was behind the attempted bombing of Wyoming in 1999,” he continued. “Three attempts have been made to apprehend her…all failed,” he said solemnly. “In 2003, she went underground and has not been seen or heard from since.”

“Jinkeys!” Buffy eyes were wide with wonder.

“That’s not even the bad part,” Tara informed her friend.

“What’s the bad part?” Buffy was almost afraid to ask.

“No one has ever fought her…and lived to tell about it,” Giles revealed.

“Oh,” Buffy said wishing she hadn’t asked.

“Why do you think she’s back?” Faith asked Giles.

“The council suggests she is in town to meet this woman,” he flicked the button on his pointer and the image of a dirty-blonde haired woman appeared. “…Anya Christine Emmanuelle Jenkins. She’s a free-lance assassin, known for eviscerating her targets. They call her…the Vengeance Demon. They’re scheduled to meet tonight…at twenty hundred hours…this is…8 o’clock,” he clarified. “Find out what Willow’s up to? Strictly surveillance…do not try to apprehend her yourselves. Faith you’re, of course, in charge. Tara, you’re second…and Scooby’s…be careful,” he warned before energizing away.

“What does a reclusive criminal mastermind want with a vicious vengeance demon?” Tara pondered.


Sunnydale, California – Willow’s Lair

The huge industrial warehouse was located near the docks in the sleepy town of Sunnydale. The interior of the place was badly decorated in colors that clashed severely. A green metal sign, just inside the entryway, hung from the ceiling. It was shaped like an emerald and bore the initials, WE. A bit further into the room was another sign that read, “S.C.O.O.B.Y.S. say rut roh before dying.”

There was a swirl of activity in the common area of the building. Men and women worked briskly moving stolen merchandise and typing feverishly on a row of computers.

In the center of the room, Willow sat in a leather chair. The red haired beauty was dressed in form fitting black jeans and a short sleeve snuggly fit black top. She was looking at the computer generated image of Anya. She was studying the picture when Xander walked up behind her.

“You’re scheduled to meet at twenty hundred hours…that’s wait..7:15,” he tried to do the math in his head. “..I think.”

“Where did you find her?” Willow ignored him and tilted her head to the side continuing to eye the vision.

“D’Hoffryn tipped us,” Willow’s life long friend answered. “Said she’s in town, relocating from Dayton.”

“Assassin?” Willow questioned.

“Check-a-rooney,” he said happily.

“Where’s the meet?” she asked.

“The Doublemeat Palace,” a picture of the establishment flashed up in front of them. “Trendy, but kind of a pit,” he admitted.

Willow squinted her eyes, and then, darted them to the left and back again.

“Cancel it,” she instructed and got up to walk out of the room.

“Why? It’s all set up!” Xander followed her up the stairs toward her bedroom.

“I don’t do blind dates,” she snapped walking into another room full of activity. She signed an paper for one of her henchmen and turned around to look at Xander.

“Yeah, well, it’s not a blind date if you know what they look like…unless of course one of you is actually blind…then I guess it could be,” he explained. “Come on, Will. It’s been two years. You have to get out there,” he insisted.

“I am out there,” she countered. “I went out with that Marcy girl. The one who thought she was invisible,” Willow reminded him.

“She didn’t think she was invisible…she was invisible!” he yelled.

“Yeah, well…I could see her…sometimes,” Willow said in a small voice and started walking again.

The walked down a ramp into another room. They passed a large map of the United States on the wall. A big X was marked across the state of Wyoming.

“Just tell her I’m not coming,” Willow walked over toward the wardrobe trunk in her bedroom. “Tell her I came down with something.”

“Look, Cordelia dumped you for Harmony,” he said walking up behind her.

“I was not dumped,” Willow defended.

“Oh, you were dumped…hard…and that sucks. But you took your time off and went to Granola ville…”

“Guerneville…and it was the Russian River Women’s Festival,” she corrected him.

“Look, Will, it’s time to get back in the game,” he took her by her slender shoulders. “You’ve got a blind date with the beautiful Vengeance Demon…and you’re gonna show up,” he stated firmly.

“Fine,” she relented. “Okay, I’ll go. I’ll be there.”

“Just promise me you’ll be open,” he told his friend.

“Open to what?” Willow questioned.

“Sex…lots and lots of sex,” he smiled.

Willow shook her head, full of doubt.


The Doublemeat Palace – 8pm

The Doublemeat Palace was a trendy new restaurant in the center of town. The place was busy when Xander pulled up out front to drop off Willow.

Inside the restaurant, the Scooby’s had their stakeout all set up. They sat on swings suspended from the ceiling of the lofty establishment. Tara flipped through the pages of an art book, while Faith read an article in a magazine. Buffy busied herself by untangling her surveillance equipment. Kendra sat on the far swing smoking a cigarette.

“Hey, check this out,” Faith leaned over to show Tara the article she was reading. “Ms. Calendar is hand picking girls for the international bureau,” she pointed to a picture of the school’s leader. “I’m gonna see if I can get an interview.”

“Do you thing Mr. Giles would let me take some time off after graduation?” Tara said absently not hearing what Faith had said to her.

“What are you talking about?” Faith questioned her friend.

Tara looked up from her book. “I don’t k-know…there’s this art school in Barcelona…” she looked back down at her book.

“Art school. Tara, you’re the perfect score. You can have your choice of any assignment after grad,” Faith said envious.

Tara blew out a small breath annoyed with the title that followed her every move.

“Who’s your best bud?” Faith asked

“You are my best friend,” Tara confirmed.

“And what did I say to you the very first day at the academy?” Faith asked.

“That’s my harness, bitch!” Tara answered without blinking.

“Okay, after that,” Faith smirked.

“Scooby’s stick together,” Tara recalled.

“Exactly! We’ve been through four years of hell and now we’re the top shit, right? We’re just getting to the really nasty stuff we can kill. Ready to kick ass.”

Tara nodded.

“So, you’re not gonna ruin it all by going to art school,” Faith pressured her friend. “Am I right?”

“Yes,” Tara smiled though there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. “You are always right.”

“Yah need to put it ‘ere,” Kendra said struggling with Buffy for the listening device in the blonde girl’s hands. “Don be an idiot fer once.”

“You need to speak English or Jamaican,” Buffy responded annoyed. “Jaminglish is not a language.” Buffy’s Nextel rang. She answered it. “Scooby’s, Buffy speaking. Over.”

“Buffy, put her on,” an annoyed boy spoke through the walkie talkie.

“It’s Larry,” Buffy informed Tara.

“I don’t want to talk to him,” Tara shook her head.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you. Over,” Buffy brutally informed the young man.

“Bullshit, I need to talk to her,” he responded angrily.

“Copy that,” Buffy replied. “He really needs to see you,” she said handing the phone to Tara.

“He should not call. It is embarrassin, mon,” Kendra voiced her discontent.

Tara took the phone. “Larry, I told you. It’s over. Over.”

“I’ve got to talk to you,” he insisted.

“No, I’m serious, no,” Tara tried to deter him and handed the phone back to Buffy.

The stocky guy propelled down in his climbing harness, from the ceiling, right next to the blonde.

“Tara, we need to talk,” he said.

“Goddess, Larry, what are you doing here?” she said startled.

“You think you guys are the only ones on to Willow Emerald. Everyone’s here,” he pointed across the ceiling to another group of guys hanging in swings. “The Feds…The Advocate,” he pointed to a group of reporters standing on a balcony with cameras.

“I can’t believe it, mon,” Kendra whined.

“This is supposed to be our stakeout,” Faith grumbled.

“Could you guys excuse us f-for a moment,” Tara asked her three friends.

Faith pushed a button on a remote that sent their swings sliding off to the far left wall.

“Why do you have to be such a jerk about everything?” Tara tried to keep her voice down and keep her cool.

“Well, when my girlfriend breaks up with me for no reason, after eight months, you’ll excuse me if I’m a little perturbed,” he said in a shrill girly voice.

“It’s not for no reason,” Tara interjected.

“Well, then, give me one,” he insisted.

“I just w-want more,” she said.

“More what?” he pushed.

“I don’t…I don’t know,” Tara said exasperated.

Across the way, Buffy wore a pair of large headphones and was holding a listening devise pointed toward where Tara and Larry were talking.

“Wat they saying?” Kendra asked.

I’m not gonna spy on them,” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“You are a spy, dip shit,” Faith sneered.

“Is there somebody else?” Larry probed the girl.

“No, there is nobody else,” she assured him.

“Cause if there’s somebody else, I swear on Cher’s wardrobe I will…” he threatened.

“Look, I just…” Tara tried to explain herself.

“Speak!” he demanded.

“I’m not in love with you,” she looked him directly in the eyes.

“Well,” he tried to compose himself. “I guess nobody’s good enough for little miss perfect score.”

“Be quiet,” Tara tried to contain her fury.

“Oh yeah, you’ll be back,” he hoisted himself up to where his team was waiting for him.

Outside, Xander was giving Willow a pep talk. “You can do this,” he insisted

“Why is it I can hold the whole world hostage, but I’m scared of going on one stupid blind date?” she lamented.

“Because love is harder than crime,” he reasoned. “Okay, now knock ‘em dead…but not really,” he added.

Willow got out of the car and walked toward the restaurant.

Inside, the Scooby’s swung back over to join Tara. Buffy was now sitting next to the blonde.

“Are you okay?” she asked sincerely.

“Hey, she’s ‘ere, mon,” Kendra put on the headphones as Willow entered the restaurant.

Faith pulled out a pair of binoculars to get a better look at the notorious villainess. “Okay, we’ve got visual,” she confirmed.

Willow walked over to the table where Anya was already sitting. She took off her long leather jacket and greeted the blonde woman.

“Hey, sorry I’m late. I got lost,” she lied easily hanging her coat over the back of her chair and sitting down.

Anya closed her menu and put it down on the table. The busty blonde wore a low cut blouse and a floor length leopard print jacket.

“There’s such a thing as Mapquest, you know. Being that you’re a computer genius, I thought you would know that,” she said briskly.

Willow frowned as the waiter approached.

“I’ll have the Cobb” she said after quickly looking at the menu. “And some wine,” she told the waiter. “Do you…want wine?” she asked Anya.

“Vodka,” she told the waiter. “You can leave the bottle.”

Tara pulled out her own pair of binoculars to take a closer look at Willow. “Wow,” she felt a twinge of excitement that settled in the pit of her stomach. “Willow, she’s…” Tara had almost said gorgeous.

“What?” Faith waited for her friend to finish.

“…real,” Tara regained her composure. “I…I n-never thought I’d see her in person.”

Back at the table, Willow and Anya sat quietly, checking each other out.

“You’re very pleasing to look at,” Anya finally spoke out. “We could have extremely nice orgasms together.”

“Oh,” Willow looked horrified and tried to change the subject. “So…you’re an assassin.”

“Yep,” Anya answered happily.

“How’s that work?” Willow questioned.

“It’s mostly freelance,” she took a swig of her drink.

“So you just…you basically…what…kill like whoever,” Willow didn’t quite get it.

“Sometimes I eviscerate,” she smiled. “Evisceration is more.”

“What are they saying?” Tara whispered to Kendra while still looking through her binoculars.

“Dhey talking ‘bout killen…how to kill…and who to kill,” Kendra answered.

“Goddess,” Tara’s heartbeat sped up.

“I do it just to pay bills,” Anya told Willow who immediately brightened up.

“Really!” Willow said excited.

“Mostly, I want to be a venture capitalist. Make lots of money…retire young and wealthy.”

Willow frowned again.

Up where the Scooby’s sat, Larry once again propelled down next to Tara.

“Ah, yeah, can I have my bracelet back?” he said annoyed.

“What are you doing?” Tara couldn’t believe the boy’s timing.

“My friend Rico gave that to me when we raided that Brazilian bath house,” he explained.

At the table below, Anya was explaining why Bill Gates was her hero.

“I couldn’t afford to take his seminar, so my friend Spike says…my girlfriend is cheating on me with this guy named Angel…you kill her lover and I’ll pay for the class.”

Willow started to look queasy.

“The man was an Irish dancer, so I beat him to death with his clogs and put Irish Spring soap in his throat…”

Willow looked like she was going to pass out.

“What’s wrong?” Anya said oblivious.

“Oh, you know, I just…I’m feeling really ill. It’s my stomach. I think I have food poisoning,” she lied again to the disturbing woman.

“Are you not gonna blow me?” Anya asked incredulously.

“What?” Willow looked shocked.

“I bought dinner, you should at least have sex with me,” she reasoned.

Up in the rafters, Tara had agreed to give Larry back his bracelet. They were both struggling with the clasp when it suddenly opened and the item fell from Tara’s wrist into mid-air. They all watch horrified as it landed right in Willow’s bowl of soup. Startled, the redhead fished the item out of her soup with a spoon. She looked at it suspiciously and then looked up toward the ceiling.

Seeing the Scooby’s up above her, Willow reached for her gun. The Scooby’s and Larry all drew their weapons.

At the table next to Willow and Anya, the waiter opened a champagne bottle. The sound caused a knee jerk reaction from Larry, who fired his gun, shattering a glass on Willow and Anya’s table.

The restaurant erupted into a flurry of panicked customers all yelling and screaming. Willow got up and fired a haphazard shot up toward the ceiling before fleeing her table. Anya followed closely behind, with her gun also drawn.

The Scooby’s grabbed the ropes from the side of their chairs and began to rappel down to the floor.

Amid the blaze of gun fire, Willow and Anya dove behind the bar. They both stood up and fired back into the crowd. The Scooby’s were now on the floor. They pushed over a round table for cover and continued to fire upon the criminals. Willow and Anya ducked down below the bar again.

“Was it something I said?” Anya asked anxiously.

“No, no, look, I just…I just got back in to town…and, and, and, I just got out of this relationship,” she explained.

“I’m not asking for a relationship…just sex,” Anya said matter of factly.

“It’s not you,” Willow went on. “I mean…you seem really, really nice…it’s me.”

“Are you naturally frigid?” Anya asked pointedly.

Willow ignored her and stood up briefly to toss a live grenade right where the Scooby’s were crawling on the floor.

“Guys,” Buffy said wide-eyed staring at the grenade that had landed in front of them. The group stood up and ran.

“I’m just not interested,” Willow was finally honest with the woman, while the grenade exploded in the background.

“Then, you can die alone,” Anya gathered her purse and checked her gun for bullets before leaving.

Willow stood up and watched the assassin leave. At the corner of the restaurant, she saw that the Scooby’s’ had regrouped and were heading her way again. She reloaded her weapon and stood up, firing a shot at Faith, who quickly ducked behind a wall. Faith fired back when Willow crouched down again.

Willow spotted the small round metal table behind the bar. She pulled it off its base and ran across the now deserted restaurant using it as a shield. From the balcony, all four Scooby’s took aim and fired. The Feds did the same, while the people from The Advocate snapped pictures.

The redhead found a side door and slipped outside of the restaurant. She ran across the parking lot and into the building next door.

Inside the restaurant, Faith was already developing a plan to trap the crafty criminal.

“Tara, Buffy…head Willow off by the kitchen,” she ordered. “Kendra and I we’re gonna take the back.”

“Mr. Giles specifically ordered us not to engage her,” Buffy protested.

“B,” Faith spat waving her hand. “Who, here isn’t gonna graduate?” she asked while Tara and Kendra waited impatiently.

“Me,” Buffy answered correctly.

“Oh, why?” Faith asked sarcastically.

“I haven’t earned my Scooby snacks,” she answered.

“Oh, would that be this thing here?” Faith brushed back her long hair to reveal a pin on her tank top of a blue snack cracker.

Buffy nodded her head in agreement.

“And why is that?” Faith pushed her.

“You won’t give me a recommendation. I don’t see why you just don’t…” Buffy tried to plead.

“Zip it,” Faith cut her off. “Not what I asked.”

“You think I’m a candy ass fraidy cat,” Buffy replied. “I need to show courage in the face of unspeakable danger.”

“Exactly! So quit your whining and follow my orders,” Faith closed the discussion.

Buffy agreed and she and Tara went off on their own. After a minute Tara told the girl, “I’ll check the parking lot, you go that way. Stay in radio range.”

“But Mr. Giles,” Buffy tried to protest again.

“You can do this, Buffy,” Tara reassured her.

Tara exited the same door Willow had gone through earlier. She crossed the parking lot and entered the building next door.

There were large rolls of packing material piled high to the ceiling inside the warehouse. Tara followed along the corridor, stopping midway to try and contact Buffy on her watch radio.

“Buffy, are you there?” she asked but only got static in reply.

Looking ahead, Tara saw an exit door and started to run towards it. On the other side of the large packing rolls, Willow had also spotted the exit door and sprinted forward.

The two women collided into each other just in front of the door. Their impact sent them both falling to the ground and they both dropped their guns.

“Oh, golly, I’m so sorry,” Willow apologized as she turned around to look at who she had bumped into.

“I am really sorry,” Tara was equally apologetic as she got up on her knees and turned to look at the other woman.

Their eyes locked for only an instance before reality struck.

“Oh, Goddess,” Tara felt her hear beat faster with anticipation.

“Oh, shit,” Willow said stunned.

They both found their guns and stood up facing each other with their firearms pointed in each others face.

“You’re Willow Emerald,” Tara said disbelievingly.

“You’re a Scooby,” Willow said snidely, eyeing the beauty from head to toe and trying to keep her focus.


"Life is nothing but a dream, and if you create your life with Love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art." - Don Miguel Ruiz

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 4:48 pm 
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Sun May 01, 2005 6:08 pm
Posts: 11
Location: Texas
Gotta tell ya... I love this!!! D.E.B.S. is one of my favorite movies and to see it put to the sexiest ladies around, just does my heart good.



 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:06 pm 
2. Floating Rose
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Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:55 pm
Posts: 34
Location: France
I love it!! :bounce :bounce
I don't know the movie but I checked the official website to see what it was about I'll try to watch it one day cause you've picked my interest!...I got the general picture though so I could totally follow your fic :)

I love the idea of Willow being a dangerous criminal and Tara a super cop with a trendy somehow precious hottie style :-D
The rest of the S.C.O.O.B.Y.S. are a great picture too :-D

I'm eager to know what's coming next :bounce
Please keep on the good work!


You're all I've ever wanted
And loving you's the right thing to do
And I'll see it through

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:41 pm 
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 18
:bounce I never thaught that i would read a fic like this with the D.E.B.S trail. I love that movie i think that sara foster and jordana brewster (although drunk) created a nice love scene and because the actresses were so hot the movie couldn't suck even if it wanted to (although to some ass wipes it did). Who doesn't love teenage girls with assets in school girl clothing that are very short? (My fantasy) Thanx for the recreation i always wondered what it would be like if this were portrayed as a BAM or WillowAandTara fanfic :bow . I just love how you dropped everyone into their roles i never would of pictured it with kendra though. May i ask: will you be more detailed with the sex and love scenes or will you leave it at that like the movie? Will you do a sequel or a writing at the end to where you explain where everyone is as of date. I'm just dying to read about whether you'll take a different direction as the movie or the same. Either ways i'm happy :geek :devil :dance . GREAT FIC!!!! UpDaTe vewy SHooN

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 12:01 am 
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 8:02 pm
Posts: 14

This is outstanding fun. I have seen DEBS many many many many times. And I have seen the short(not as many times). I have to say that I loved the short and while I think DEBS is lovely, I was hoping for it to capture the humor of the original and I think here is where it sometimes is a wee bit lackluster.

Your version however had me cracking up. The changes you put in are gems. A few lines that had me laughing out loud:

“You think you guys are the only ones on to Willow Emerald. Everyone’s here,” he pointed across the ceiling to another group of guys hanging in swings. “The Feds…The Advocate,” he pointed to a group of reporters standing on a balcony with cameras.

“My friend Rico gave that to me when we raided that Brazilian bath house,” he explained.

I was having such a good time reading that I turned to my girlfriend and started reading bits out loud to explain why I kept laughing every few moments.

I am very interested to see what you have in store. Thanks for writing this!

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 2:45 am 
1. Blessed Wannabe
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Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 10:02 pm
Posts: 13
Location: your face
oh oh oh! yay! i feel like anya winning at "ooo! the game of life!" lol.

debs = one really kick ass movie.

and putting a scooby twist on it is working really well.

please please please continue?

:bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce

"i know a drugstore cowgirl, so afraid of getting bored..." +++ 311

"you're my concentration. everything else is a bore. i got myself snagged on you. no. self. control." +++ No Doubt

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 7:31 am 
18. Breast Gal
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:08 am
Posts: 2704
Topics: 4
Location: Sydney, Australia
D.E.B.S.! Oh man, there aren't words for how much I love that movie. Saw it at a special screening, put in an order for the DVD moments after I got home - it's so much fun, and sweet too. I can't describe how happy I am to see a Willow/Tara version :party

And much as I love the original Amy and Lucy ('cuz, hot), Tara and Willow fit in awesomely, as do the rest of the cast with the changes you've made (well, Faith is a natural Max to begin with). I especially like Kendra's uber-accent, it's every bit as funny as Devon Aoki's ridiculous French :lol

Chris Cook
Through the Looking-glass - Every world needs a Willow and Tara.

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S. - Chapter 1 Replies
PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 9:44 pm 
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:46 am
Posts: 678
venusoracle: Thank you for reading. You're right about this story being made for our ladies and all the beautiful women from Buffy. Giles, too! Is this a quick enough post for you?

Tawilove: I highly recommend you see the film. It's simply enchanting. Thank you for taking the time to read.

chronicfuture: I agree that Sara Foster and Jordana Brewster oozed chemistry. Jordana so impressed me (okay, she turned me on too) that I added all of her films to my Netflix queue. A lot of the characters were easy to place. I toyed with the idea of using Anya as Dominique, but she seemed a lot funnier as Ninotchka. As for my love scene being more detailed than the film - take a peak at my 'Next Generation' series. I enjoy writing our ladies at their most intimate. A sequel will depend on how well this one goes. Plus, i need to finish a few other stories. Thank you very much for reading.

mariacomet: It's always delightful to get feedback, especially from one of my favorite authors. I'm thrilled that you found some of my changes to be funny. That Advocate line was a spur of the moment as I was typing. Go with your instinct, I say. I'm glad it worked. Thanks very much for stopping by to read.

feeling_way_too_groovy: Thanks for so many bouncy smilies and for reading. I agree that D.E.B.S. kicks ass.

Artemis: I think my D.E.B.S. dvd is going to be worn out soon. Especially that deleted love scene. I even have the soundtrack in my car. Can you say obsessed much! It's always a pleasure to have a respected writer stop by and post. Thanks for reading and commenting.

"Life is nothing but a dream, and if you create your life with Love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art." - Don Miguel Ruiz

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S. - Chapter 2
PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 10:05 pm 
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:46 am
Posts: 678
Chapter 2

Tara stood frozen in place. She had her gun pointed at the most notorious criminal of the twentieth century. Even though she knew she should be frightened, the blonde didn’t feel any fear. Instead, she was feeling…excited…stimulated…almost like she was about to go out on a first date.

Are those butterflies? What is that? Tara thought.

She tried to stay focused but she was being hypnotized by Willow’s sparkling emerald eyes. Somewhere in her subconscious she registered that there was a gun being pointed in her face, but she pushed the thought away. Her gaze was drawn to the redhead’s mouth. The tip of Willow’s tongue was poking out between her slightly parted teeth.

Snapping out of it, Tara squared her jaw and stated firmly, “You have the right to remain silent.”

Willow’s brain was functioning on about the same level as Tara’s. There was a very strong possibility that she was in some real trouble here and she wasn’t completely sure she would be able to escape…or, even if she wanted to escape. The thought of hurting the woman in front of her was something Willow couldn’t even fathom.

The redhead looked deeply into the girls beautiful blue eyes. She thought she had seen a moment of hesitation in them, but then it was gone. Willow’s eyes rested a moment on the blonde’s full lips before descending lower to admire her ample chest. Willow felt a stirring in her lower abdomen that grew stronger as she surveyed Tara’s shapely thighs.

I wonder what it would be like to have them wrapped around me.

The feeling vanished as Willow’s brain finally registered the blue plaid skirt and remembered that the woman standing opposite her was her nemesis. Just then, she heard Tara speak the line about having the right to remain silent.

“You’re reading me my rights?” Willow looked doubtfully at the girl.

You have the right to kiss me with that beautiful mouth…often and in public. Tara’s mind drifted again until she heard Willow challenge her.

“Anything you say, can and will be used against you.”

The blonde stopped for a moment. Her thoughts this time were now remembering the conversation from earlier this morning at breakfast. She recalled Giles telling the group how no one had ever encountered Willow and lived to tell about it.

Willow waited patiently taking the time to admire the blonde’s slender fingers as they were wrapped around the handle of her gun.

“Okay…here’s the thing,” Tara said anxiously.

“Yeah,” Willow answered quickly.

“I’m really not up for dying today,” Tara admitted.

“Me either,” Willow was a bit thrown by the statement but all-in-all thought it was a good plan.

“So…,” Tara looked down at Willow’s gun and then licked her lips and looked back up at Willow. “I was thinking…um…why don’t you put your gun down?” Tara suggested and gave the redhead a slight half-smile.

“Why don’t you put your gun down?” Willow countered raising her eyebrows and trying to ignore the blonde’s beautiful smile.

“You’re the criminal and I’m the cop…so…I think, technically, I’m more trustworthy,” Tara offered a logical explanation.

“Except I was totally minding my own business on some stupid blind date when you guys decided to rain shit down all over me,” Willow was suddenly irritated.

“Wait…” Tara smiled and relaxed the arm that was holding her gun on Willow. Her mind quickly processed the information. She’s gay. Hell, yeah! Wait…why do I care? I’m not gay…am I? “…you were on a blind date.”

“Whatever,” Willow wondered why she had just shared that piece of information with the blonde.

“With the Vengeance Demon?” Tara said slightly amused and placing her left hand on her left hip.

“What?” Willow relaxed her gun arm when she saw the blonde pull back her own weapon.

“Nothing! I just…I didn’t know you were a…”

“Why would you know?” Willow cut her off.

“Wow that really negates my thesis.”

“Your thesis?” Willow was confused and narrowed her eyes.

“I’m…” Tara was suddenly embarrassed. “I’m writing a term paper on you,” she admitted.

“You’re kidding,” Willow laughed and was both amused and intrigued.

“No, it’s for Capes and Capers…Gender Reconstruction and the Criminal Mastermind. It’s a really popular class,” Tara gushed.

“I took that class online,” Willow said excitedly.

“No way,” Tara replied in disbelief.

“Way,” Willow countered and Tara laughed softly.

“It’s hard because there’s only anecdotal evidence about you,” Tara explained. “I mean, no ones ever actually spoken to you.” Till now, Tara thought.

“Till now,” Willow’s words echoed the blonde’s thoughts.

“Right…until now,” Tara felt a brief sense of pride.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name,” Willow’s interest in the girl was completely piqued.

“Oh,” Tara tucked the gun in her right hand under her left armpit and extended her right hand out toward Willow. “Tara…Maclay…Scooby Sector 1.”

“Willow Emerald,” the redhead said shaking the blonde’s hand.

They both felt the spark the instant their hands met. They each looked at their enjoined hands and then up into each others eyes. Neither one wanted to lose the connection. They both reluctantly let go at the same time.

Tara suddenly remembered that she had a job to do. She grabbed her gun from under her arm and only half-heartedly pointed it at Willow.

“You’re still…you know…under arrest,” Tara said almost apologetically.

“Am I?” Willow smiled an elfish grin and kept her gun down at her side.

A door opened in the distance and Tara heard Buffy call out her name.

“You know…you could just let me go,” Willow purred.

“I…” Tara had to keep herself from drooling. “I really couldn’t,” she replied even though she wanted to.

“Oh come on…haven’t you ever done anything you’re not supposed to?” Willow laid on the charm.

Tara felt her resolve weakening. Buffy’s voice calling out to her again snapped her back. She turned her head to call out, “I’m over here.”

When she turned back around, Willow had vanished.

“Son of a bitch,” Tara stomped her foot and swore at herself for being so unprofessional and for letting her woman get away.

Her woman. Did she want Willow to be her woman? Her feelings were all over the place right now. She had just faced an infamous criminal mastermind and not only had she lived to tell about it, she was hoping for another encounter with the seductive beauty. And, not just for research for her thesis. She wanted to know Willow…all of her. Did that make her gay? Was that why she couldn’t manage to have romantic feelings for Larry or for any of the boys she dated? She didn’t have time to process that thought because the rest of the Scooby’s were now standing right in front of her.

“Oh my God, are you okay? We couldn’t reach you,” Buffy was worried about her friend.

“I’m fine,” Tara’s face was flushed but she was physically unharmed.

“What happened?” Faith asked.

“She was here,” Tara informed them. “Willow Emerald was here.”

“Nuh way!” Kendra said in disbelief.

“If she was here your ass would be dead, T,” Faith also negated the girls claim.

Buffy looked down and saw the green sparkling jewels covering the floor. She knelt down to pick up the largest one.

“You guys,” she said admiring the gem and standing back up to show the group.

The Scooby’s looked down at the hundreds of emeralds carpeting the area all around them.

“Fucking hell,” Faith exclaimed.

Tara was at a loss for words to explain how they got there. But then again, nothing was making sense to Tara right now.

“Ya know wat dis means, mon?” Kendra looked at Tara who looked back up at the girl. “You’re di only won to mess wit Willow Emerald and live to talk.”

Outside the warehouse, Willow hooked up with Xander who was waiting with the car. She got in to the vehicle, breathless from the earlier gun battle but also from her brief interaction with the alluring blonde.

Willow’s usual brain activity jumped quickly from one ingenious plan to the next. But right now, her mind was firmly fixated on one thing…Tara. She was imagining the blonde’s full lips pressed up against her own. She remembered the warmth of Tara’s hand in her own and wondered what it would feel like to have that hand, and its companion, on other more intimate parts of her body.

Xander’s voice interrupted her satisfying fantasy.

“What a disaster,” he slammed his hand against the steering wheel and started to drive off. “I am so sorry…leave it to the Scooby’s…you’re in town a week and they’re just all over you….just grabbing…”

Willow knew she was supposed to be equally annoyed but she couldn’t muster up anything but hope.

Xander looked over at his childhood friend and knew immediately that something was off. Willow normally joined in when ranting about the Scooby’s, but right now she was oddly silent.

“What?” he questioned her. She looked at him and didn’t answer right away. “Really, what?” he asked again.

“I met somebody,” she decided to tell him about Tara.

Xander slammed on the brakes to stop the car so he could face his friend and talk.

“I knew it. Okay, I mean it was a little sick the thing about beating the guy with his clogs, but you’ve got a twisted side…so I had a feeling you and Anya were gonna..”

“No, no, no,” Willow shook her head firmly. “Anya was a definite train and not the light at the end of the tunnel…and what do you mean I have a twisted side?” Willow took offense to the comment.

“I don’t get it,” Xander said not getting it.

“Okay, first of all, you are gonna have to swear to me that you are not gonna freak out about this,” Willow warned.

“Freak out about what? Why would I freak out?”

“Well, you know, sometimes you do that thing where you scream like a woman,” she informed him.

“Oh my God…who is it?” Xander shrieked like a girl.

“Okay,” Willow relented. “What do you know about a Tara Maclay?”

“Tara Maclay,” he thought for a moment. “The girl from the Dinah Shore weekend?” he asked.

“No,” Willow shook her head and bit her lower lip.

“No,” he repeated and thought again. The light finally clicked on and he had trouble forming words. “Holy Moly…Tara Maclay…blonde hair…beautiful boobs…plaid skirt.”

Willow smiled innocently.

“She’s a Scooby,” he exclaimed. “Not only is she a Scooby, but she’s the Scooby…she’s the perfect score.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Willow didn’t really care and turned to open the door and got out of the car.

Xander also got out and met up with Willow in front of the vehicle.

“Tara Maclay is the only person ever to get a perfect score on the secret test in the S.A.T.,” he informed his friend.

“Give me the keys, Xander.”

“Are you listening to me?” he tried to reason with her. “Perfect score means perfect spy…she is their pride and joy…she’s literally their poster child.”

“Yes, well, their poster child doesn’t know it yet but she’s into me,” Willow said confidently taking the keys out of his hand.

“You can’t be serious?” Xander was astonished.

“What did you say…back in the game,” Willow smiled and walked around to get into the drivers seat.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“To get my girl,” Willow put her hands on the steering wheel, started the car and then started to drive off.

Xander watched her pull away and then called out, “P.S., miss know it all…she’s straight!”

Willow hit the brakes. The thought that Tara might not be gay had not even occurred to her. Willow was used to seeing what she wanted and then having it. But she was probably going to need to handle Tara much more differently than her past conquests. Tara was smart and disciplined. She had almost captured Willow. Almost. And though the idea of being captured by the blonde was exciting, a lifetime in prison was not. Willow felt sure if she could convince Tara to spend a little time with her, the girl might see the real Willow. Since Xander seemed to know a lot about Tara, Willow decided to take him with her. She waited while he caught up and got in to the passenger seat.


Willow stopped the car across the street a few feet from the front gate of the Scooby house. She turned off the engine and the head lights.

“Stay here,” she told Xander.

“What are you gonna do? Knock on the door and say, hi is Tara here because I’d like to date her,” his question oozed with sarcasm.

“No,” Willow replied emphatically. “I’m gonna sneak in and tell Tara I want to date her,” she said getting out of the car.

“Will, come on,” he tried one last time but Willow was already crossing the street.

The redhead pulled a tiny computer out of her back pocket. She pushed the button on the cover and a small screen popped up to reveal a mini keyboard beneath it. Displayed on the screen was a picture of the Scooby house, surrounded by a magnetic force field.

“Ok Scooby’s, show me what you’re made of,” she said out loud and pushed a series of buttons.

The computer scanned the house and displayed a blue dot in one of the upstairs rooms. Surrounding the dot were the numbers and letters – 32 A Cup.

Willow pushed another sequence of numbers. The screen moved to another portion of the house downstairs and registered two more blue dots. One was labeled 34 B Cup and the other read 36 C Cup.

The redhead’s fingers once again worked the keypad. This time the screen displayed an upstairs room. The red dot listed the occupant as 38 D Cup.

“There’s my girl,” Willow smiled and closed the computer, putting it back in her pocket.

She walked up to the edge of the front lawn and carefully patted the air. A plaid force field appeared surrounding the entire home. Willow pulled another object out of her right front pocket. She used the compact laser to cut a hole in the magnetic field, large enough for her to slip through. On the other side, she easily hopped between the several rows of plaid sensor lights littering the lawn. Using a pair of inflatable suction cups, that she just happened to be carrying in her bra, Willow scaled the outer wall of the building up to the second story and climbed through the window.

Tara was asleep in her bed and she was having a particularly intense dream.

Willow had climbed through the open window of her bedroom. Tara had woken up as Willow’s shadow fell across her bed. The blonde did not make a move to get out of bed. She leaned up on her elbows.

“What are you doing here?” she whispered to the redhead.

“Shh,” Willow put a finger to her mouth and stopped by the side of Tara’s bed.

“You can’t be here,” Tara insisted.

“I’ll only stay a minute,” Willow assured her and pulled two items out of her front left pocket.

Tara’s eyes opened wide as she recognized the blue plaid ties in Willow’s hands. She felt her tummy flip flop and ran her tongue across her suddenly dry lips.

Willow leaned over and whispered, “Lie back down.”

Tara did as she was told. She rested the back of her head against her pillow. Her eyes never left Willow’s.

Willow gently took the blonde’s right arm and moved it back behind her head. She used the first tie to loosely bind Tara’s right wrist to the bed post.

“What are you doing?” Tara mildly protested but was getting more and more turned on by the second.

“I’ll show you,” Willow’s eyes danced with desire.

She moved to the other side of the bed and repeated her actions with Tara’s left arm. Then, Willow sat on the edge of the bed and leaned down over the blonde.

“This isn’t right,” Tara’s resolve was almost completely gone.

“Not yet it isn’t,” Willow breathed as she moved closer to capture the blonde’s mouth with her own.

Tara felt a tap on her shoulder and heard someone whisper her name. She opened her eyes to see Willow standing over her bed.

“Oh Goddess,” she exclaimed and reacted on impulse.

The blonde used her leg to flip Willow completely over her bed. The redhead landed flat on her back. Tara leapt out of bed and postured herself in a fighting stance.

“So not what I planned,” Willow said getting up quickly. “Just hold on,” she tried to calm the blonde.

Tara’s adrenaline was pumping. She did a fan kick with her right leg but Willow ducked out of the way. She threw a right and a left hook combination that were blocked by the agile redhead.

She’s nimble the thought came and went quickly in Tara’s head.

Willow knew she had to get the blonde to calm down. She grabbed her arm and flipped her into a somersault across the floor.

Tara backed off a bit but continued to hold her fighting stance with her fists raised.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I wanted to see you,” Willow surprised herself with her honest statement.

“Why?” Tara breathed heavily.

Willow tried to think of a good reason. Somehow asking Tara out no longer seemed appropriate given the blonde’s hostile reaction.

“Well, I…I was thinking about what you said about your paper,” Willow was pleased with her substituted reason.

“My thesis,” Tara couldn’t believe her ears.

“Uh huh…and I think it’s stupid for you to do all this outdated research when you can just come straight to the source,” Willow smiled.

“You?” Tara still couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Come out with me. I’ll let you ask me anything,” Willow’s eyes were smoldering with desire.

Tara knew she needed to break free of that mesmerizing gaze. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the gun on the dresser. She whipped around and picked up the weapon and aimed it at Willow.

“I can’t go out with you,” she stated firmly.

Willow raised both of her hands. “Why not?” she questioned a little hurt.

“Like a zillion reasons,” Tara lamely replied and mentally chastised herself. Lame, Tara, lame.

Willow saw her opportunity and took it. She kicked the gun with her foot, and then pushed Tara’s arms to the right. When Tara’s hands swung back around, Willow grabbed the gun and pointed it at the blonde. She had no intention of using it, but she was determined to spend time with the beautiful cop.

Tara stared at the redhead in disbelief.

“Well, now you have to come out with me,” Willow held the upper hand and she intended to keep it. At least for now.


"Life is nothing but a dream, and if you create your life with Love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art." - Don Miguel Ruiz

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 12:12 am 
1. Blessed Wannabe
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Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 10:02 pm
Posts: 13
Location: your face
“No,” Willow replied emphatically. “I’m gonna sneak in and tell Tara I want to date her"

briliant, my friend.

i love the will/tara take on the movie. they seem more, nah, i kid. btw kudos on the dream sequence.

:bounce right so, keep going. kick ass, mon

"i know a drugstore cowgirl, so afraid of getting bored..." +++ 311

"you're my concentration. everything else is a bore. i got myself snagged on you. no. self. control." +++ No Doubt

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 8:13 am 
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:31 am
Posts: 9
Ah, what could be better than a Scoobified version of D.E.B.S.? It's funny because, as I was watching the film, I kept thinking of how similar Sara Foster and Amber Benson seem. I think it's the hesitation and "I'm thinking" face they both have.

Anyway, kudos on this here fic. I look forward to reading more. And upon seeing that Chris Cook put it on the Looking Glass site - I had to run over and check out the title graphic. Lovely!

I look forward to more Jenny Calendar as well - she's a great choice for Ms. Petrie. I love the underlying stuff with her and Giles in this.

I am curious, of course, to know how you'll deal with the Scud/Janet stuff - will you be sticking to D.E.B.S. canon?

Alright, that's enough (if not too much) from me. More from you now ;)

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 11:33 pm 
3. Flaming O
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:12 pm
Posts: 50
Location: Questing in an imaginary world...
Oh this is great! And I've never even heard of the movie, let alone watched it! I'll have to see if I can find it somewhere...
Is the movie this funny? With the gorgeous juxtapositioning of violence and mundane conversations?? Cos it's hilarious. Love the power play between Willow and Tara. Have to say I rather like predatory Willow. Can't wait to see what she's going to do with Tara!


Don't rain on my parade...

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 8:37 am 
6. Sassy Eggs
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:09 pm
Posts: 400
Location: Massachusetts
I will confess to never having seen the movie, but not nearly so readily as I will confess to loving this fic. It's sweet, hilarious, and intriguing. I want to know what's coming next! Will the SCOOBYs find out what's happening? Will Xander prove to have value as a criminal mastermind? Will Tara ever get to be tied up? The suspense could kill.

I can't wait for your next chapter.

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 1:05 pm 
9. Gay Now
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:37 pm
Posts: 995
Location: not on this planet...
This is awesome. I love the movie and Im loving this story. Keep up with the fun... Cant wait to see what ya do with the whole getting caught in the act deal.


Smutbunny Anthem: *sung to tune from Goldfinger* Smutbunnies...they'er the bunnies, the bunnies that love the smut...and Willow's butt. They surf for smut fiction...always lookin' for the next naked sweaty fix...of Tara's tits.- Written By Cameron

And yes my banana still dances for smut :banana

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 8:51 pm 
18. Breast Gal
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:08 am
Posts: 2704
Topics: 4
Location: Sydney, Australia
:lol Awesome! It was awesome in the movie, but I love what you did with it to make it a Buffy fic. And I'd say the whole 'Love Cats' sequence is my favourite part of the film to begin with. Willow's scanner had me laughing my head off just as much as I did the first time I saw the film, with Lucy's 'Amy/Not Amy' detector :D And yum, the glimpse into Tara's dream :drool

Chris Cook
Through the Looking-glass - Every world needs a Willow and Tara.

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 11:32 pm 
1. Blessed Wannabe

Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 8:02 pm
Posts: 14

This is a lot of fun to read. I like how you are working in some romantic elements in the story allowing for a peek at the inner romantic (and sensual) thoughts behind the movie lines.

I have to compliment you again on the humor.

“No, it’s for Capes and Capers…Gender Reconstruction and the Criminal Mastermind. It’s a really popular class,” Tara gushed.

“I took that class online,” Willow said excitedly.

LOL....that's the Willow we know and love behind the criminal mastermind.

Again, lots of fun to read. Hope to see more soon.

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 8:48 pm 
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:46 am
Posts: 678
Many thanks to everyone for reading and for those who have left replies. I'm about a third of the way through Chapter 3 and 4. I'm writing them concurrently because Chapter 4 is so much fun and I just couldn't wait to get to it. I hope to have something by this weekend, depends on how busy it is at work but I will try hard. Here some replies from the last chapter:

feeling_way_too_groovy: Yes, I do believe it is W/T who are more horny...definitely not the author of this fic...nope, no siree. :whistle I'm glad you liked the dream. Thanks for reading.

foof: Sara Foster had me doing double takes at how much she resembled Amber in certain scenes. She also reminds me of a young Michelle Pfieffer. Jenny Calendar seemed like a fun choice for Ms. Petrie. Lots of opportunities for fun moments between her and Giles. I'm still trying to decide whether to develop the Janet/Scud (in this case Buffy/Xander) sub-plot. It could be interesting given how much Xander always wanted to be with Buffy on the show. It's still up in the air though. Thanks for reading.

tarasgirl: Please run, do not walk, run to your video store and rent D.E.B.S. It is definitely this funny because I've not changed much of the dialogue or scenes in either of these two chapter. It's a great feel good flick. We'll see more of predatory Willow coming up shortly. Thanks for stopping by and reading.

MellindraX: I'm so pleased you like the story. I honestly can not take very much credit for what you have read so far. The dialogue (most of it) and scenes are from the original writer. I've just tailored them to fit our girls. You've asked all great questions. Keep reading to find your answers. Thanks very much!

WickedReds: Sounds like you're ready to skip right to the good stuff, huh? We've got lots of ground to cover before they are discovered. I'll do my best to make it interesting along the way. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Artemis: My favorite scene from the film is when Lucy is scaling the wall with those cheesy suction cups. It cracks me up every time I see it. The music is just perfect for that whole scene and through out the money in general. Thanks for the awesome banner over at your site. It totally rocks! Thanks for reading, too!

mariacomet: I'm thrilled to hear you are enjoying the humor. I thought Jordana and Sara did a great job with their facial expressions in the movie to let the view know what they were thinking. So, it's important for me to clue the readers in on those things in this story. You'll see more of this from Tara in the next chapter. I did want to give a glimpse of 'our Willow' so I thought the line you quoted would convey that. Plus, I thought it would be hilarious if they had taken the same course. More soon and thanks for reading!

"Life is nothing but a dream, and if you create your life with Love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art." - Don Miguel Ruiz

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 10:14 am 
2. Floating Rose

Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 12:49 pm
Posts: 23
I havent seen the movie but after reading the first two parts of your fic i know for sure i am going to! I really like the idea and setting. I cant wait to see what happens next. No way Tara can resist her little criminal :)

Great job

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 2:07 pm 
4. Extra Flamey
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Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:53 pm
Posts: 175
Location: new york city
woohoo!! a tillow version of D.E.B.S (quality movie btw. tres quality :-D ). I love it. It's adorable. I adore stories that have Willow and Tara being on opposing sides. Then they fall in love and smut their beds (and our eyeballs) hehe. Yay! Please, I can't wait. Seriously. It's a medical condition. I'm going to start freaking out. ... I think I'm coming on a little too strong. OH WELL!

:dance look! it dances!

sheep go to heaven. goats go to hell

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 9:21 pm 
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:46 am
Posts: 678
willowspiritus: I highly recommend the film. It's good, light-hhearted fun with a happy ending. Tara's gonna resist here for a bit but I don't think she'll be able to hold out against Willow's resolve face. Thanks for stopping by and reading.

beanie: Okay, no more freaking out. Here's your update. Thanks for reading and commenting. I hope you enjoy the next part.


Chapter 3

Tara’s mouth hung open in total surprise at how quickly the tables had been turned on her. A few seconds ago, she had Willow right where she wanted her. But, the redhead had skillfully gained the upper hand. Tara was equal parts pissed and impressed with the girl.

Still dressed in her pajamas, the blonde crossed her arms and asked, “May I change my clothes?”

“No need…you look stunning,” the redhead assured her.

“I’m not wearing a bra,” she said self consciously.

“I’m not complaining,” Willow gave her a sly smile.

Flabbergasted, Tara grabbed a blue track jacket off the chair next to her. She looked up at the redhead. “Are we parachuting out of the window or what?” her tone was now leaning more toward being pissed.

“Why don’t we keep it simple for now and use the stairs,” Willow moved aside and allowed the woman to pass by her and open the bedroom door.

Tara briefly thought about making a run for it. She didn’t think Willow would shoot her in the back but she wasn’t a hundred percent certain. She also didn’t want to put the other Scooby’s in danger. She decided to go along with the redhead to see what she could learn about her. Maybe Willow would get sloppy and Tara might be able to find a way to bring her in safely. For some unexplained reason, Tara didn’t want to see the woman harmed.

They crept down the stairs silently and left through the front door. The chilly night air made Tara shiver, so she put on the jacket she was carrying.

Willow followed closely behind the blonde as they walked down the front steps. About halfway to the gate, the redhead heard a twig snap on the lawn. Willow turned and fired the crossbow.

The arrow pinned Buffy by the top of her sweater to a tall oak tree in the front yard. The perky Scooby looked perplexed as Tara briskly walked over to see if Buffy was hurt.

“Buffy, what are you doing here?” Tara’s harsh tone was one of fear at getting her friend dragged in to her mess.

“I don’t know who that is, but he ruined my sweater,” Buffy huffed and pulled her arms free of the garment. It clung to the tree by the arrow. Buffy stomped over to confront the sweater mauler. “I don’t know who you think you are…”

“Buffy, wait!” Tara tried to stop her but it was already too late.

Willow turned around and found herself nose to nose with Buffy.

“Aaaahhhh!” Buffy screamed as she recognized the notorious criminal.

“Okay, let’s go,” Willow indicated for both girls to move toward the car before the other Scooby’s came out to investigate Buffy’s screaming.

“Why don’t you let her go?” Tara tried to get her friend out of the situation.

“Oh, okay, I’m sure she won’t tell anybody,” Willow said facetiously.

“She doesn’t need to be involved,” Tara argued.

“Then she shouldn’t have gotten in the way,” Willow countered.

“Hello,” Buffy interrupted the spat. “Stop talking about me like I’m not standing right here.”

A light came on in one of the upstairs bedrooms. All three women looked up at it. Willow pulled her gun out from the back of her pants.

“Move,” she told the two women seriously.

They exited through the front gate and hurried over to where Xander was waiting beside the car.

“One wasn’t enough…you needed to bring a spare?” he asked Willow.

“Get in the car,” she ignored him.

Buffy and Xander got in the back seat, while Willow and Tara sat up front. Willow started the car, put it in gear and quickly drove off.

Xander looked sideways at Buffy. He put his hands on his knees and turned his head toward her. She met his gaze and her expression let him know that she was already unhappy with the current predicament she was in. He gave her a goofy grin, and then, turned his head to look out of the window.

He thought for a moment and then turned back and asked Buffy, “Did you go to Hemery?”

“Yeah,” her features softened a bit but then she went back to ignoring him.

In the front seat, Willow wasn’t fairing much better. She stole a few quick sideways glances at the blonde, whose face was expressionless.

“Where are you taking us?” Tara broke the silence, her tone clearly annoyed.

“I…uh…I hadn’t thought about that,” Willow’s original plan was just a quiet drive with her and Tara. Now that Xander and Buffy were along for the ride, she had to alter that idea. “Where do you want to go?”

“Home!” Buffy piped up from the back seat.

Willow looked at the girl in the rearview mirror and rolled her eyes. She drove beyond the city limits and turned on to an unmarked dirt road. The path twisted and turned, and then, continued through a dense cluster of trees. On the other side was a run down building that looked like it should be condemned, if not for the fact that it was bristling with activity. Rows of cars were parked all around the makeshift club. The thump of loud music could be heard even through the closed car windows. As Willow pulled in to a parking space, Tara saw a sign above the club door that read, The Bronze. Willow turned off the engine and shifted to face Tara.

“Come on,” she said casually.

Tara didn’t look at her or make a move to get out of the car. She stared straight ahead with her lips pursed. Willow looked in the back seat and saw that Buffy’s expression mirrored Tara’s.

“Look, these woods are pretty deep so you guys could be lost out here for days…even weeks,” Willow needed to make sure the women didn’t try to run away.

“I hear the Blair Witch is haunting these woods now,” Xander tried to help Willow. “We all know how badly that ended.”

Tara turned away to look out her window. Buffy did the same.

“Okay, suit yourself,” Willow saw that she was going to have to play hard ball with the beautiful blonde. She got out of the car, as did Xander. He closed the door and followed Willow in to The Bronze.

Tara sat quietly in the front seat contemplating her option. She had tried to pay attention while Willow was driving but she wasn’t familiar with where they were. If she were alone, she would probably make a run for it, but she didn’t want to put Buffy in danger, knowing how timid the girl was. She was also pissed at Willow gaining the upper hand for the second time that night.

In the back seat, Buffy wasn’t quite sure what to do. She wondered why Willow Emerald had come to their house to kidnap Tara. She thought about asking her friend, but Tara seemed pretty irritated at the moment and she didn’t want to make her any more upset. Buffy began to fidget in her seat and eventually spoke out.

“I have to pee,” she announced.

Tara whipped her head around and gave her friend a death stare.

“What? I didn’t know we were going out or I would have gone at the house,” Buffy said innocently.

Tara turned back around and crossed her arms, while Buffy slid over and got out of the driver’s side door. Tara watched her walk toward the club. Halfway there, Buffy turned around and gave the blonde a look that begged Tara to please come with her. Sighing heavily, Tara got out of the car and caught up with Buffy.

They entered the Bronze together. The bar was wall to wall people, dressed in all styles – from leather to punk to Goth. Tara and Buffy pushed through the crowd at the door. Buffy again announced her need to pee and went off in search of the bathroom.

Tara felt very self-conscious in her light blue cotton pajama bottoms and track jacket. She held the top of her jacket by the collar, close to her neck and made her way deeper into the club.

Xander and Willow stood over by the stage where a live band was playing. Xander looked around and spotted the blonde. He tapped Willow on the shoulder and nodded in the blonde’s direction.

Willow turned and saw Tara. The expression on her face displayed all the confidence she was feeling. Oh yeah, she wants me, Willow thought. The redhead crossed the floor like a wild animal stalking its prey. Tara stood in place, her arms folded in front of her.

“You want a beer?” Willow asked.

“No,” Tara said flatly.

A waiter walked by with a raised tray that held two beers. Willow gracefully picked them off of the tray and indicated for Tara to follow her. They navigated through the crowd, over to a quieter corner with a cushy sofa. The three people occupying the couch left quickly with just a nod of Willow’s head.

“Sit down,” Willow said putting the drinks on the wooden coffee table in front of the sofa.

Tara sat and Willow scooted over right next to her. The blonde sat stiffly and tried to look anywhere but at the redhead. Willow hadn’t really thought about what to say to the girl. She searched her brain for a topic.

“So…how long have you been a Scooby?” Willow decided to stick with a neutral topic.

Tara ignored the girl remembering her directives not to disclose information to the enemy.

“You’re gonna have to talk to me sooner or later,” Willow gave a slight laugh and took a sip of her beer.

“Look,” Tara faced the girl. “I don’t know what you’re after, bringing me all the way out here, but…”

“Let’s just talk,” Willow interrupted the girl. “I’m sure you have some questions to ask me…about your paper.”

Willow was right. Tara was wondering if the things she had contemplated in her term paper were true or not. A few simple questions might clarify the gapping holes in her research.

“Come on, tell me about your thesis,” Willow prompted.

“I don’t…I don’t h-have enough details,” Tara was suddenly shy.

“Just try me,” Willow pushed.

Tara took a deep breath. She folded her hands in her lap and said, “Um…well…my central hypothesis is that…as a woman, operating in a male dominated field, you felt the n-need to overcompensate by being exponentially more ruthless and diabolical than your established male counter parts.”

Willow scrutinized the blonde while she was talking. Stung by her remarks, she snapped, “I’m not more ruthless!”

“I think an argument could be made that you are,” Tara raised her eyebrows high on her forehead. “I.E…we’re here,” she pointed out the obvious.

Willow thought for a moment. Smart chicks are so hot. “That’s interesting…go on.”

Amazed to still be alive after the admission, Tara went on. “I think that these psychological forces combined to create an emotional void where you’re incapable of loving…or being loved,” Tara winced at how harsh her theory sounded. She also wondered if it was true or not.

“That is so not true,” Willow defended herself pointing a finger at Tara. “I’m open to love!”

“I’m sorry,” Tara was a bit nervous about having upset the redhead. “It’s just a theory,” she said reassuringly.

“Is there anything in there about me being twisted?” Willow asked still hurting from the comments.

“Huh?” Tara didn’t quite follow.

“Never mind,” Willow sat back and took another sip of her beer.

The redhead hated being so misrepresented. Her greatest misfortune was having been born into a crime syndicate. She had no control over her father’s suspicious business dealings. When he died, she had inherited his past, but that didn’t mean it had to be her future. No one ever tried to recognize her attempts to go legit. Because her roots were notorious, she was naturally connected to every bad situation around. The cops pinned crimes on her that she had no idea about. It never seemed to matter how hard she tried to show a different side, she couldn’t alter anyone’s perception. Rosenberg meant ruthless and somewhere along the line, she got pulled into the whole ugly mess.

Tara felt empathy for the girl. She knew what it was like to be misjudged. To know on the inside that you were someone entirely different from the way the world saw you.

“What do I know about love,” Tara said. “I just broke up with my boyfriend.”

Boyfriend, Willow thought. She has a boyfriend. That’s just great. Wait, Willow, you missed the most important part. She said she had a boyfriend…as in past tense…meaning no longer present.

“I’m sorry…that sucks,” Willow’s sympathy was sincere.

“Thanks,” Tara gave the girl a small smile.

“Why did you break up with him?” Willow was curious.

“I don’t know,” Tara sat forward, a bit closer to Willow. “It just wasn’t…I think love should be irresistible…like a drug, you know…I think when it happens you should just…n-not be able to help yourself…I just wanted…more.”

The explanation pleased Willow. She smiled at the blonde. There was a brief silence where they just looked at each other.

“This is so weird,” Tara finally spoke. “Why aren’t you killing me?”

“I’m not into that,” Willow laughed and took another drink.

“But you killed those agents in Antarctica,” Tara relayed that she knew about Willow’s infamous crimes.

“They were eaten by Polar bears. I never even met them,” Willow shook her head again annoyed at her being guilty without any shred of proof.

“And those ATF guys in Peru?” Tara asked.

“Hello…there was an earthquake.”

Tara wondered if she had unfairly judged the redhead. Maybe Willow wasn’t as notorious as everyone made her out to be. True, Willow had brought her here at gunpoint, but she hadn’t presented any weapons when she snuck in through Tara’s window. Maybe she really was interested in spending time with her.

“You’re really not what I expected,” Tara admitted.

“Well, I think that’s a good thing,” Willow felt like she had broken through to the girl.

They exchanged a few shy smiles. Tara sat back against the sofa and her smile got bigger as she asked, “So, what’s up with Anya? Where do you meet someone like that?”

“Oh, golly, what a nut job,” Willow sat back next to the blonde. “I’m gonna kill Xander…but not literally,” she added.

“Cause you’re not into that,” Tara gave the girl a half smile.

“Right,” Willow smiled back, enjoying the warm feeling spreading throughout her entire body.

Buffy came out of the bathroom and scanned the busy bar looking for Tara. She saw the blonde in a far corner, engaged in conversation with Willow. They didn’t really look like they wanted to be interrupted, so Buffy stayed where she was.

“Play with me?” Buffy heard a male voice behind her and spun around.

“What?” she looked shocked at a smiling Xander.

“Darts,” he held up three green darts in his right hand. “Play darts…with me,” he clarified.

“Oh…sure,” Buffy backed down and followed the guy over to the dart board.

Xander handed her the darts and she threw all three in quick succession. Xander looked open-mouthed at the three bulls eyes.

“Whoa!” he exclaimed.

“Scooby dart champion,” she said simply.

“Um…maybe we should try Foosball,” he gave the dart board a double look before turning his attention back to Buffy.

“What’s Foosball?” Buffy quirked her head.

“Ah…,” the boy’s eyes brightened. “I am the God of Foosball. Right this way.”

They walked over to the Foosball table. Buffy studied the game for just a moment and then let Xander know she was ready to play. He dropped the ball in the center of the table. Buffy gripped a wooden handle in each hand. She spun the steel rod with each handle and immediately scored a goal.

“Yes!” she clapped her hands excitedly.

“Yeah…okay,” Xander mumbled under his breath.

Buffy looked over to the corner of the bar to check on Tara. She and Willow seemed to be sitting closer together. They were facing each other and each had an arm on the back of the sofa. Their hands were almost touching and they were deep in conversation.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but…” Buffy said to Xander who was retrieving the ball from the end of the table. “…your friend appears to be hitting on my friend.”

Xander looked over at Willow and Tara. “You’re not wrong,” he said matter-of-fact.

“Yeah, but my friend’s not in to that,” Buffy said but looked a bit unsure as she watched the two women together.

Xander just nodded his head and smiled.

Back on the sofa, Willow and Tara were chatting more easily than before. They had both relaxed and the conversation was flowing freely.

“So, Larry has this collection of Liza Minnelli memorabilia. I just feel like he doesn’t get me,” Tara was explaining to the redhead.

“No wonder,” Willow wrinkled her brow.

“Do you ever feel like that?” Tara asked the redhead. “Like nobody understands you.”

Tara wasn’t only talking about her ex-boyfriend. She was talking about her closest friends as well. They all thought of her as the perfect spy, when all she really wanted was to go to Art school and maybe meet someone who could see the real her.

“Yes, all the time,” Willow could relate, especially after hearing the details of the blonde’s thesis.

Tara thought for a second about how comfortable she felt in the redhead’s company. She was still skeptical of Willow’s motives, but at the same time, she felt like she could be completely open with the woman. Like Willow might be able to understand her true nature and still want to be close to her. Before she could think about how it might sound to the other girl, she blurted out, “I am r-really glad I met you.”

“I’m really glad I met you, too,” Willow was elated.

Tara’s emotions began to run the gamut. The joy of finding an emotional connection with Willow was battling with the nervousness of also finding the redhead physically attractive. Every part of her body was responding to that attraction, except her brain. She looked into those dazzling emerald eyes and felt the butterflies again in her tummy. Her eyes rested on the redhead’s slightly upturned smile. Tara knew if she didn’t get out of there quickly, she was going to violate all of her Scooby directives.

Willow watched in anticipation as each emotion displayed plainly on the blonde’s beautiful face. She wanted to say something but was afraid the blonde would bold from the couch. And then, reality hit.

“I should go,” Tara’s logical side dominated and she sat stiffly forward on the sofa.

“Okay,” Willow drew out the word deflated and also sat up.

Tara couldn’t keep her sensible side in command and had to ask, “Am I…am I gonna see you again,” she cringed at how desperate the question sounded.

Willow was upbeat when she answered back. “Do you want to see me again?”

“I mean…I’m breaking like eight Federal statues being here with you, right now,” Tara’s business sense was back in control.

“Yes, I know,” Willow sighed heavily.

“I could get kicked out of the Scooby’s for this,” Tara wanted the redhead to understand what she was risking.

“For what?” Willow asked simply.

Their eyes met and in that moment they both knew exactly what they wanted Willow didn’t care that the woman opposite her had the power to send her to jail for a very long time. Rules and directives and the right side of the law were no longer as important to Tara as knowing the feel of Willow’s lips pressed against her own.

Willow could read the blonde’s expression and knew she had been given the green light to proceed. She leaned closer to the blonde, so that they were shoulder to shoulder. She tilted her head slightly to the left and barely parted her lips. Tara didn’t retreat, but instead waited expectantly.

The moment was ruined as Tara recognized Buffy’s startled voice, “Oh My God!”

Willow and Tara both turned their heads to look at the other Scooby. Xander stood next to Buffy.

“She almost kissed you,” Buffy pointed at Willow.

Tara backed away from the redhead and quickly stood up in front of Buffy.

“You almost let her,” Buffy accused the blonde.

Tara’s forehead furrowed in confusion of what she had almost done, disappointment in not getting to kiss Willow and dread at having been caught by Buffy. She walked hurriedly past Buffy, not saying anything.

Buffy watched her go and then looked back as Willow got up off of the couch. The redhead rolled her eyes at Buffy and went after Tara. Still processing what she had seen, Buffy turned her shocked expression to Xander.

“You owe me fifty bucks,” he said not the least bit surprised.

Willow caught Tara by the arm and turned her around. “Tara!”

“Take me home,” the blonde was visibly upset.

“It’s okay,” Willow said softly trying to reassure the emotional woman.

“Take me home,” Tara stated more firmly.

Disappointed with the blonde’s reaction and also at being back at square one with her, Willow relented. The four left the bar in silence and got back in the car. It was a quiet ride back to the Scooby house, except for everyone’s internal thoughts.

In the front passenger seat, Tara was mentally berating herself. Brilliant, Tara. You let your defenses down and you let her infiltrate your thoughts. You’ve put your whole team at risk. Of course, none of that will matter now that you’ve outed yourself to everyone but yourself. She nervously bit her thumbnail.

Willow stole quick glances at the blonde while she drove thorough the deserted back roads. What is she so afraid of? How can she not see how amazing she is? Maybe she just needs someone to show her how terrific she is. I can do that. I’m gonna do that. Willow made her vow.

Buffy sat in the back seat trying to figure out what had just happened. Tara’s a girl and Willow’s a girl. So why would they want to kiss. That would make them…oh, oh boy. No…there’s no boy. Buffy’s eyes got huge.

Xander sat unfazed in the back seat. I wonder if we have any pizza left over?

Willow stopped the car a block or so from the Scooby house. Tara quickly opened her door and got out. She started to walk away. Willow was right on her heels.

“Tara,” Willow called out but the girl didn’t stop until Willow grabbed her wrist. They looked at each other. Tara could see the hurt in the redhead’s eyes. The blonde’s expression remained neutral. “Well…when can I see you again?”

“You can’t!” Tara blurted out.

“Come on,” Willow pressed.

“I’m serious, we can not do this again,” Tara’s words were harsh.

“Tara,” Buffy called out trying to get her friend out of the tense situation. Both Willow and Tara turned to look at the girl.

“I have to go,” Tara walked off.

“I’m gonna come find you,” Willow called after her.

Buffy gave Xander a friendly wave. As she walked past Willow, she gave the redhead a dirty backward glance, and then, ran to catch up to Tara.

Willow and Xander got back in their car and drove off. The redhead was already planning her next encounter with the blonde.

Buffy caught up with Tara and asked, “What just happened?”

“Nothing happened,” Tara tried to dismiss the evening’s events.

“She was totally going to kiss you. You’re so in to her,” Buffy pointed out the obvious.

“I am not,” Tara denied poorly.

“You violated the prime directive. Plus, hello, it’s a girl,” Buffy again stated the obvious. “You’re so busted!”

“No, I’m not,” Tara pointed an accusatory finger at Buffy. “You violated the section codes as much as me. Scooby’s code, section Daphne, article two…Scooby’s will not consort with any known enemy of the state under penalty of treason.”

“I was not consorting,” Buffy denied any wrong doing.

“You played Foosball with Xander,” Tara pointed out.

“But…I wouldn’t have been there if Willow hadn’t…”

“And remember the time you hit the Prince of Acathla over the head and put him in a coma,” Tara cut the girl off.

“That wasn’t my fault. I accidentally dropped that Nigerian death mask over the balcony. I didn’t know he was down there,” Buffy defended herself.

“Remember how I covered for you,” Tara was scrambling big time. “I never told anyone. If Faith found out about that, you would never get your Scooby snacks and never graduate.”

“I can’t believe you would…” Buffy was stunned at the blonde’s manner.

“Not a word,” Tara restated. “Nothing happened.”

Tara walked over and unlocked the front gate. She walked into the yard through the force field. Buffy followed behind, still extremely upset with Tara. Faith was sitting on the porch swing waiting for the girls to return.

“Where the hell have you been?” Faith demanded.

They both stopped, arms folded across their chests and scowled at Faith. The dark Scooby also crossed her arms and waited for an answer.

“Um…I couldn’t sleep,” the lie came easily to Tara. “So, I t-took a walk. I w-was really upset…about…Larry.”

“Yeah,” Buffy moved up alongside Tara and nodded her head. “Larry,” she confirmed Tara’s story.

“Oh yeah,” Faith dropped her arms and touched a hand to her forehead. “I forgot…are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Tara lied again.

“Good,” Faith thought for a second. “You know, I can’t stop thinking about Willow Emerald.”

“You too!” Buffy looked wide-eyed believing Faith was also physically interested in the redhead.

“Yeah, I feel like she’s playing some type of game of cat and mouse with us.”

Tara looked down.

“I don’t know…you guys be careful, okay?” Faith warned. They both nodded. “Goodnight,” Faith turned and went into the house.

Buffy gave Tara a dirty look. She walked over to the tree where her sweater still hung by the arrow Willow had shot at her earlier in the evening. She yanked the arrow out of the tree and retrieved her ruined sweater.

“Yeah, be careful,” Buffy said sarcastically and walked up the stairs and into the house.

Tara knew she had been too hard on her friend. She knew she was going to have to make it up to Buffy somehow. Right now, she had more pressing matters to address. She needed to figure out what was happening between her and Willow. And that meant that she was going to have to see the redhead again. She wasn’t sure how she was going to do that. Little did she know, Willow was going to help her find a way.


"Life is nothing but a dream, and if you create your life with Love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art." - Don Miguel Ruiz

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:21 pm 
11. Fish in the Bowl
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Posts: 1327
Location: Dallas, TX
Great update! I love this movie. I saw the movie a few weeks ago and promptly went out and bought it on DVD. Loved it! :)

Can't wait to see your next updates. Especially the bank scene. :-D

Great job!

"People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be able to answer, such as 'Is this the laundry?', 'How do you spell surreptitious?' and, on a regular basis, 'Do you have a book I remember reading once? It had a red cover and it turned out they were twins.'" -- Terry Pratchett

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2005 12:51 pm 
3. Flaming O
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:46 am
Posts: 94
Oohhh, UPDATE UPDATE!! I can't wait until the next update, omg, update soon! haha :-D

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 12:02 pm 
2. Floating Rose

Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 12:49 pm
Posts: 23
I got the movie today and i watched the first half of it :) I love it so far! What a great movie and it was so funny to compare your story to the movie. To compare the characters on screen to our fave couple and they're friends. You are doing a great job! Please update :)

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:16 pm 
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:19 pm
Posts: 548
Location: NJ
Hey There!

Well...I've never seen this movie don't be shocked!!!! I never actually heard about this movie...

Yet I decided to read it (no matter how many time I read "GO SEE THE MOVIE FIRST!!!").....and dude...this is funny....I liked it!!!! Was afraid that I won't get it...but it's all good now....maybe I'll go and rent it sometime ;)

38D.... :lol :lol .....what a nice way to find a girl..... :lol :lol

Can't wait for the update!


" be human is to be capable of the most heinous crimes in nature" - Wicked
"..the only person you care about is yourself. You can’t get into someone else’s head, you can’t get into their soul, so in the end, they mean nothing to you. You blink--And they’re gone" - Chance

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:27 am 
Ms. Moderator Fantastico
Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2005 4:56 pm
Posts: 2360
Topics: 8
Location: San Francisco, CA
Hi! I must say, your fic is a RIOT! Sitting here at midnight on a work night, I have been laughing my head off!

A few of my favorite precious jems:

“You need to speak English or Jamaican,” Buffy responded annoyed. “Jaminglish is not a language.”


"But you took your time off and went to Granola ville…”

“Guerneville…and it was the Russian River Women’s Festival,” she corrected him.

(Played in a softball tournament in Guerneville a while back, thought this bit was hilarious, nice shout out to the Bay Area!)


“Freak out about what? Why would I freak out?”

“Well, you know, sometimes you do that thing where you scream like a woman,” she informed him.

So funny! Honestly, I haven't been this excited about a fic in a while. It's so much fun to read! I was kind of put off from it cause I've never seen D.E.B.S. before (which I will promptly remedy), but I am super glad I gave it a chance. I'm really looking forward to your next update!


Kisses and Gay Love
"I like my buttons, curvy." - Willow, Neverland, by Easiersaid

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:26 pm 
2. Floating Rose

Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 12:49 pm
Posts: 23
I have just seen the whole movie and it rocks! Very funny and romantic :)

Cant wait to see how you take your story from here.

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 9:13 am 
18. Breast Gal
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Posts: 2704
Topics: 4
Location: Sydney, Australia
Heee! :D This is awesome, Willow and Tara fit so well into the Lucy and Amy roles, it's like it was destined to be, or something. Even Amy's bursts of sidelong snarkiness ("I think an argument could be made that you are, i.e. we're here") fit so well with Tara, on the rare occasions she got to disapprove humorously of something. It's so her. And having Lucy be Willow is like the icing on the Lucy cake - not that Jordanna wasn't lovely, 'cause (faints), but it's just so easy to imagine Willow all grumpy (in her adorable way) at being considered a criminal. Plus, polar bears :lol

I like the elaborations you're putting in with Buffy too, especially the darts thing. Nice use of the Bronze, by the way.

Chris Cook
Through the Looking-glass - Every world needs a Willow and Tara.

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 9:49 am 
13. Big Knowledge Woman
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:55 am
Posts: 1875
Location: North Carolina
I've only seen the movie once, but I love how our favorite charcters just fix so perfect in this movie. Absolutely an amazing fic. Hope to see more soon (gonna go and watch the movie again). Take care and smiles. =)


"I've always believed it doesn't matter who you sleep with. What's important is how you treat people." - Amber Benson

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2005 5:47 pm 
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:46 am
Posts: 678
LQ: Long time, no see. Congrats! I read over on the Kitten that you got your Masters. That's wonderful. Thanks for reading and stopping by. It's always great to hear from you. The bank scene is up next.

s82v: I'm hurrying. Update will be posted in a few minutes and the next chapter should be done in a day or so. Thanks for reading.

willowspiritus: I'm so thrilled you got to see the movie and especially that you liked it. I'm glad placing our girls and the rest of the Scooby's in the story is working for you. More right now! Thanks again!

YMKA: I'm not shocked that you haven't heard of the film since it got such a limited release. I must have gone overboard on the warnings. I wanted people who were considering seeing the movie to watch it first so they wouldn't be spoiled but the fun stuff that I am shamelessly ripping off for my fic. The 38D scene is different in the film but still a good gag. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Foomatic: Howdy neighbor! :wave I can't take credit for the first and third lines you quoted as they are blatant rip offs from the movie. Guerneville was exactly that - a shout out to Bay Area kittens. Thanks for giving the story a chance. I'm thrilled you like it!

Artemis: I watched the film (again) before I committed to writing this, for exactly the reason you pointed out. I wondered if it would be believable for our girls to speak the lines. And it really does work in most instances. The ones that don't, I omit or try to change to fit W/T's style. I did something similar with the Buffy canon script for a fic I wrote where I inserted Tara into Oz's place in season 2. I thought the polar bears were funny too. Glad it worked for you. Thanks for your lovely feedback.

Tarababy77: Thanks Aaron for taking the time to read and leave feedback. More for you right now, sir!

"Life is nothing but a dream, and if you create your life with Love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art." - Don Miguel Ruiz

 Post subject: Re: New Fic: S.C.O.O.B.Y.S. - Chapter 4
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2005 6:00 pm 
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:46 am
Posts: 678
Chapter 4

Willow was walking down the dimly lit corridor toward a door at the end of the hallway. She wore a bright orange jumpsuit that clashed severely with her fire engine red hair. On the back of the jumpsuit, in black block style letters, was printed – SUNNYDALE CITY PRISON. Her hands were handcuffed together in front of her. She raised both hands as she reached the wooden door and knocked.

The door seemed to open inward on its own. Willow stepped across the threshold into the room. The walls were painted a dingy gray. Directly ahead, up close to the ceiling was a small rectangular window with seven or eight vertical bars in front of it. There was a six foot rectangular desk in the center of the room. A brown folding chair sat on either side of the desk, near the center.

Tara leaned with her backside against the edge of the desk on the side closest to Willow. She was positioned right in front of the chair nearest to the redhead. She wore her usual Scooby uniform, except her tie was undone and hung loosely around her neck. The top two buttons of her white blouse were open, revealing just a hint of her ample cleavage. Her hands rested at her sides, palms down on the edge of the desk. Her feet were crossed at the ankles. Her long blonde hair hung loosely below her shoulders.

She motioned for the redhead to sit in the chair before her. Willow’s eyes never left the blonde’s sparkling sapphire orbs as she slipped closely past Tara and sat down.

Tara stood up, turned around, and leaned over the desk. Willow was given a glorious view of the back of the blonde’s thighs. Tara’s plaid skirt fell to just below her butt.

Willow inhaled sharply. She licked her lips and felt the temperature inside her jumpsuit climb several degrees. Her bound hands involuntarily moved forward but stopped short of touching one of the creamy thighs.

Tara smiled, satisfied as she heard Willow’s gasp. The blonde opened the center drawer and took her time pulling out a file she had been searching for. She thought about prolonging the teasing stance but knew they had other pressing matters to address. She stood up and turned back around, holding the thick manila folder in her delicate hands.

Tara sat back down on the edge of the desk. She put her right foot on the center of Willow’s chair between the redhead’s parted legs. She let her other foot dangle freely. She opened the file and tsked at the redhead. “You’ve been a very, very bad girl,” she practically purred.

Willow looked at the shoe covered foot sitting dangerously close to her already warm center. Her gaze traveled from the blonde’s leg, all the way up her shapely torso and she replied innocently, “I’m very seldom naughty.”

Tara tilted her head to the left. She tucked her blonde hair behind her right ear and said, “That’s too bad.”

No longer patient with the game, Willow attempted to stand up. The blonde’s long left leg moved up quickly. She placed her foot on the redhead’s right shoulder and forcefully sat Willow back down in her chair.

“Mmmm,” Willow hummed her appreciation at the bold move and her body temperature soared again.

“You look warm,” Tara said sympathetically.

“Uh-huh,” Willow tipped her head up and down.

The blonde put both feet on the floor and stood up again. This time she bent forward. The right side of her face stopped just millimeters from the right side of Willow’s face. Tara used her right hand to throw her long blonde hair back over her right shoulder. The movement gave Willow a clear view down the front of Tara’s blouse. Willow’s mouth went dry at the beautiful vision. She inhaled the vanilla scent of the blonde’s shampoo and closed her eyes, burning the image into her memory.

Tara’s slender fingers reached for the zipper at the front of Willow’s jumpsuit. She lowered the zipper tantalizingly slow, enjoying the redhead’s close proximity. She had to stifle her own moan of pleasure as she felt one of Willow’s fingers lightly graze her left knee.

The blonde released the zipper just below Willow’s breasts. She moved back slowly and once again leaned against the edge of the desk. This time she kept both feet on the floor to steady herself.

“Please take these off,” Willow raised her cuffed hands.

“Why?” Tara questioned playing with the end of her tie.

“Because I like to use my hands,” It was Willow’s turn to dominate.

“Mmmm, Willowhand!” Tara said with a half smile.

“Willow! Willow,” the urgency of the voice pulled the redhead from her blissful dream.

“Hmmphmf,” she mumbled.

“Willow!” Xander shouted again.

“What?” the redhead reluctantly opened her eyes to see the boy standing next to her bed. “No! Xander…no!” she whined. “The handcuffs were just coming off,” she buried her head back under one of her pillows.

“What now?” he pulled the pillow off of his friend’s head.

“Go away!” she yelled.

“No problem…first tell me why I’m holding a twenty-seven page PowerPoint presentation for robbing Sunnydale Savings & Loan,” he said waving the document.

“We’re gonna rob a bank,” she said sitting up and wiping her sleepy eyes accepting that she wasn’t going to be able to finish her dream.

“I gathered…since when do we rob banks?” he asked.

“Since I need to see Tara again,” the redhead got out of bed and put on a black satin robe to cover her boxers and tank top.

“Couldn’t you just invite her to dinner rather than inviting her to a felony?”

“You saw how freaked she was last night,” Willow walked over to her wardrobe to select an outfit for the robbery. “She’s not going to go anywhere with me willingly…yet.”

“So you think if she sees you taking other people’s money that will…what…make her realize she’s misjudging you,” his sarcasm continued.

“We don’t have to actually steal the money…just…you know…lure her there…so we can talk again,” she held up a light blue sweater in front of him. “What do you think about this one?”

“I think it will look great…in your mug shot,” he snipped and walked away to brief the other guys on their afternoon outing.

Willow ignored him and settled on her black jeans and a pretty plum colored top. She hummed a happy tune, looking forward to her next meeting with the sexy cop.


Tara had barely slept the entire night. Every time she closed her eyes, she would picture her almost kiss with Willow. She could feel the redhead’s breath against her face. Just as Willow’s taste was about to be revealed to her…it was snatched away.

The blonde was quiet through breakfast the next morning. She tried to avoid the icy glares from Buffy. Her self imposed silence continued on the ride to the Academy. As she entered one of the main buildings on campus, she was stopped by two very excited Scooby’s.

“Oh my God,” the one with dirty blonde hair exclaimed. “Is it true? Did you really fight Willow Emerald?”

“I heard that you cut off her hand. Does she still have her hand?” the girl with curly black hair asked.

“Yes, she still has both of her hands,” Tara snapped and pushed between the two girls.

Tara realized she wasn’t going to have to put too much effort into concealing what had actually happened between her and the redhead. The entire school had only one opinion of Willow – that she was bad news. The only one who knew the truth about last night was Buffy.

“Everybody’s talking about it,” Buffy fell in to step next to Tara as they walked down the corridor.

“About what?” Tara wondered if she was too late. Maybe Buffy had already spilled the beans.

“How you met Willow Emerald and lived to tell about it. They’re calling you a hero. When really, you’re just a muff diver,” Buffy confirmed that she was still pissed about last night.

“I am not a…” Tara was too embarrassed to repeat the name.

“Ms. Calendar wants to see you,” Buffy walked ahead shaking her ponytail.

“What?” Tara looked shocked. “Buffy,” she said walking into one of the classrooms behind the girl.

Tara’s mouth hung open in surprise as she looked at the video monitor on the wall in front of her. A picture of herself was displayed on the screen. One of Willow was placed right next to her. The caption read – EMERALD ENGAGEMENT: Willow & Tara Get Together.

The next image flashed a solo shot of Tara. The caption read – TARA LIVES: Tara Survives Encounter. The blonde shook her head and walked over to where Faith and Kendra were standing.

“What’s going on?” she asked them both.

“Ms. Calendar, she comin, mon,” Kendra said very excited.

“It’s true,” Faith confirmed.

“Here,” Tara said nervously. “ Why? She never comes here.”

With that, a quartet of people beamed into the room. Giles stood on the far right. He looked flustered, patting his arms and legs like he usually did after energizing anywhere. Ms. Calendar stood next to him and helped with the patting by giving the man a swat on his butt.

“Oh dear lord,” he took off his glasses and pulled a handkerchief from his breast pocked, giving them a good wipe.

Ms. Calendar, in her black power suit, winked at him and let her hand rest on his bottom for a moment.

Next to Ms. Calendar stood a young woman with mousy brown hair and green eyes. Amy Madison was the Commandants administrative assistant and all around gopher. She carried a manila file folder in her hands.

Behind the group stood the school’s photographer. He held his camera ready in his hands.

Faith walked forward to greet the school’s leader. “Ms. Calendar, I would just like to say…”

“Who are you?” Ms. Calendar stopped her.

“Faith Lehane,” she replied.

“Well, Faith Lehane, my time is precious and can’t be wasted,” she looked beyond Faith at the three other Scooby’s. “Where’s the girl?”

Faith’s temper simmered at the dismissal but she kept her cool for now.

“Maclay comma Tara,” Amy shouted out.

Tara raised her hand nervously and bit her bottom lip.

“Ah,” Ms. Calendar walked over to Tara. She stood next to the blonde and motioned for the photographer to take their picture together. He snapped the first shot. “Excellent.” She pulled Tara over to another part of the room next to the video screen and posed for another shot. “Excellent. Sit,” she commanded and Tara sat on the nearby chair while Ms. Calendar stood behind to blonde. She put her hands on Tara’s shoulders for the final shot.

Jenny Calendar then sat down on the top of the desk next to Tara. She crossed her legs and said, “First…” she paused and pointed at Amy.

“Tara,” Amy reminded her boss of the girl’s name.

“Let me just say how delighted I am to meet you,” Ms. Calendar went on. “When I heard that one of our own girls had actually engaged Willow Emerald and lived to tell the tale, I had to call up Mr. Giles and celebrate,” she winked at the instructor who immediately flushed with embarrassment. “I mean…Nancy Drew called and she nearly peed her pants, she was so jealous. This…this is really going to put the Academy on the map,” she smiled happily.

“The Wonder Twins called to extend their congratulations,” Amy added.

“I’ll bet,” Ms. Calendar looked up at her and they shared a small laugh. “This is more fun than Giles on roller skates.”

The British teacher cleared his throat and looked down at the ground.

“Now…Tammy,” Ms. Calendar got serious.

“Tara,” Amy corrected her boss again.

“Tara, we are going to need a description of the encounter,” she advised.

“The encounter,” Tara gulped.

“Everything that happened. No matter how small or seemingly irrelevant,” she added.

“Why?” Tara shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“To develop a profile, of course,” Ms. Calendar explained. “Nobody has ever been this close to Willow Emerald before. You, for all intents and purposes, are our leading expert.”

“Oh, I don’t t-think I’m an expert at all,” Tara tried to stand up but Ms. Calendar put her hand on her shoulder and led the girl to sit down again.

“You underestimate yourself,” Ms. Calendar took the file Amy was holding and opened it. “I took the liberty of accessing your private files.”

“What?” Tara paled.

“It’s a man’s world,” Ms. Calendar read from the file. “Willow Emerald and the psychology of cultural criminology.”

Ms. Calendar walked over to the video screen that now displayed highlights from Tara’s thesis. The blonde looked on horrified.

“Willow Emerald is at once a narcissistic sociopath and a victimized girl-child, eternally searching for the love of her father,” Ms. Calendar continued to read. “Her crimes could be viewed as a desperate cry for help. The more she steals, the deeper her feeling of emptiness,” Ms. Calendar sat back down on the desk next to Tara’s chair.

The blonde waited while her boss just stared at her.

“Tracy,” Ms. Calendar finally spoke.

“Tara,” Amy corrected her again.

“Tara…I think you identify with Willow Emerald,” she leaned down close to the blonde. “I think she sees your pathos. You’ve got some…dangerous union symbiosis going on,” she sat back up straight. “What’s that movie…with the ship and the iceberg…the girl lives and the boy dies,” she asked.

“Titanic,” Amy answered.

“Yeah…I hate that movie,” she stopped and regained her train of thought. “We can use what you two have to our advantage,” Ms. Calendar stood up. “I’m putting you in charge of this investigation.”

“What?” Tara looked stunned.

Buffy, equally surprised, turned to look at Faith and Kendra.

“Nuh wey,” Kendra blurted out while Faith looked ready to leap out of her combat boots.

“You are hereby promoted to squad captain,” Ms. Calendar said.

“No,” Faith found her voice.

“Is there a problem,” Ms. Calendar looked at Faith and Kendra.

“Um…yeah…there is,” Faith walked over to Ms. Calendar while Tara stood up form her chair. “I’m the captain of this squad.”

“Ms…” she paused.

“Lehane, “Faith supplied the forgotten information.

“Lehane,” Ms. Calendar repeated. “There is a killer on the loose. There is no time for egos. This is not the White House Counsel. This is espionage. We have a chance to do something here,” she turned and addressed Tara. “You have a chance to do something. Don’t let us down. Ready your troops,” she smiled proudly at Tara and walked back over to where Giles, Amy and the photographer were standing. “You head out at fourteen hundred. That’s all,” she finished and beamed out of the room.

Faith gave Tara an angry look and fumed out of the room.

“Faith,” Tara ran after her and caught her in the hallway. “Faith!”

“What?” the girl snarled and stopped to look at Tara.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she said sincerely. “I swear. I don’t…I don’t even want to be captain.”

“That’s just it, T. You don’t even want it,” Faith hissed. “Perfect score, perfect grades, the whole school kisses your ass and Ms. Calendar makes you squad captain. And you would be just as happy drawing in your stupid book,” years of jealousy came pouring out. “I just don’t understand why you have to take away…the only thing I have going for me.”

Tara felt awful. She had no idea how much Faith resented the things that came so easily for her.

“Faith,” she reached for the girl’s hand.

“Just,” Faith pulled away. They stood silent for a moment, not really looking at each other. “Fuck it,” Faith sighed. “Just promise me one thing.”

“What?” Tara asked.

“You catch the bitch,” Faith said seriously.

The alarm in the school begun to blare. Faith and Tara looked at each other and then up at the alarm. A Scooby ran between them screaming, “Willow Emerald’s on the move! Robbery in progress! Code 99!” she continued to run down the hallway.

Shit! Tara thought. Willow has no patience. I thought she would at least wait a whole day. Does that mean she really likes me? Maybe she just really likes money. You’re just standing here while she’s robbing a bank. And now Faith looks like she’s gonna bite your head off if you don’t take charge.

Faith stood and waited while the blonde’s eyes looked from her to the end of the hallway and then back at her again. Without speaking, Tara walked toward the parking lot. Faith followed and Buffy and Kendra fell in line behind them. At the car, Faith made it clear that she was still the driver, regardless of her new lowered status. No one argued.

As they drove across town, a video monitor popped up from the dashboard. Giles’ face appeared on the screen.

“The bank employees are being held hostage,” he informed them. “Willow and her cohorts are still inside. Apprehend the suspect, recover the money, the bank is coming up on your left. Scooby’s…be careful.” He ended the transmission.

Inside the bank, Xander and his crew were emptying the vault of its contents. He received a radio transmission from a guy on the roof that the Scooby’s were on their way. Xander crossed the marble floor to an employee bathroom near the vault. He walked inside and saw Willow looking in the bathroom mirror. The redhead was flossing her teeth.

“Scooby’s in route…two minutes,” he told her.

She turned to him and asked, “Do I look okay?”

“This is retarded,” he said hopelessly and walked out.

Outside, Faith stopped the car in front of the bank. Tara nervously bit her fingernails, while the rest of the team waited for directions.

“Maclay,” Faith said irritated.

“What?” Tara asked.

“Da plan, mon,” Kendra said.

“Oh,” the blonde remembered that she was in charge. “Okay…formation Shaggy and the Snow Ghost.” Tara started to get out of the car. The rest of the gang remained seated. “Let’s do this!” she commanded.

They all got out of the vehicle and hurried up the stone steps, guns drawn and ready for action. Tara stopped behind a large column and the other three fell in behind her. She surveyed the entry and nodded to the rest of them that it was safe to proceed. They crossed the open courtyard and went inside the bank.

Willow hid behind one of the massive pillars in the far corner of the bank. She watched Tara lead her team in and stop in the center of the room. All four ladies visually inspected their surroundings. Willow signaled to one of her guys up on the balcony of the bank. The man used the electronic devise in his hands to create a gigantic shadow on the wall. He swung the image to the left of where the Scooby’s stood.

“What was that?” Buffy asked nervously.

“She’s here,” Faith’s spider senses were tingling.

“She’s watchin’ us,” Kendra’s eyes roamed the ceiling.

The guy on the balcony moved the shadow over their heads a second time. Jittery, they all followed the silhouette.

“Shit! That’s freaky,” Faith said.

Willow peered around the corner of the column she was hiding behind. She saw the other Scooby’s looking in the opposite direction, so she took a step away from the pillar to make herself more visible to Tara.

The blonde saw Willow and turned to look at her.

Willow waved her hand and mouthed the words, “come here.”

Tara blinked her eyes and mouthed back, “I can’t.”

“Come here,” Willow whispered insistently and gestured again to the blonde.

“I can’t,” Tara mouthed equally demanding.

Willow rolled her eyes, groaned and disappeared behind the column.

Faith turned to her right and saw Tara staring vacantly at the stone support.

“What are you doing?” she asked confused.

“Nothing,” Tara regained her composure. “Let’s go.”

They walked shoulder to shoulder past a series of wooden doors with frosted glass panes. As they passed one of the doors, they heard a bunch of muffled cries. Buffy backed up and opened the door. There were about nine hostages inside, with their mouths taped and their hands bound behind their backs. They all cried out again.

“We’ll be right back,” Buffy assured them and closed the door while the hostages vigorously shook their heads protesting the gang leaving them in there.

The ladies made their way down a flight of stairs toward the bank vault. At the bottom of the stairs, Faith stopped them.

“No, no, no…hold on, hold on,” she held her arm up in front of Tara.

The vault door sat wide open with no one in sight.

“What?” Tara asked.

“It’s a trap,” Faith was sure of herself.

“Whatever,” Tara’s mixed emotions were clouding her judgment and she started again toward the safe.

“Wait,” Faith stopped her.

“Why are you giving me such a hard time?” Tara was getting tired of Faith’s attitude, plus her tactics were delaying Tara from seeing Willow.

“Fantastic! Dis is great,” Kendra said sick of the both of them.

“If you’re gonna do the job, do the job right,” Faith jeered. “Creepy shadows…no bad guys…enclosed space…trap,” she spelled it out to the blonde.

“You think I can’t handle it,” Tara got defensive.

“No…I know that you can’t handle it,” Faith stood toe to toe with the girl, equally pissed off. “You know what? I don’t care if you are the perfect score and I don’t care if you want it your perfect way…”

“Perfectly gay,” Buffy mumbled under her breath and got a dirty look from Tara.

“You wouldn’t know Shaggy and the Snow Ghost if it was tattooed on your forehead,” Faith continued her tirade pointing her finger at Tara’s head.

“Guys,” Buffy tried to get them to focus.

Kendra lit a cigarette and added, “Ya both are stupid. Mi gonna die.”

“No…it’s okay,” Tara reassured Kendra and focused her full fury on Faith. “As your senior officer…I order you to secure the vault…soldier.”

Faith looked ready to spit nails. “You order me.”

“You heard me,” Take charge Tara was in control.

They both raised their guns.

“Fine,” Faith spat and they all moved toward the vault.

Faith and Tara stopped on one side of the safe, while Kendra and Buffy stopped on the other. Tara nodded and entered the vault first, followed by the rest of her team. It was completely empty. Nothing looked out of place except for one safety deposit box drawer that was opened and sticking out slightly.

Tara turned to Faith and said smugly, “See that wasn’t so hard. I think you guys owe me an apolo…”

She didn’t have time to finish her sentence as two tiles opened beneath her, sending the blonde free falling through the floor. The other three ran to look down the hole. They all turned and looked around when they heard the vault door close, locking them inside.

“Trap,” Faith said through gritted teeth.

Tara screamed as she tumbled down the slide. She came out feet first and landed on her bottom on a pile of money bags. Willow stood nearby and smiled, happy to have Tara all to herself again.

“What are you doing here?” Tara said flustered.

“I just…I wanted to apologize for last night. I was out of line,” Willow said candidly.

“You have to release them,” Tara scrambled to get to her feet.

“Who?” Willow could think of no one more important than the blonde who was now standing right in front of her.

“The hostages,” Tara was astonished with the redhead’s cavalier manner. “And put back the money. This thing has gotten way out of hand.”

“I’m not gonna take the money…and the hostages are fine. Xander’s getting their names, so I can send them apology letters,” Willow reassured the girl who still looked stunned.

Up in the safe, Faith was beating on the steel door with a pipe. “Damn it,” she swore giving up on the sturdy egress.

Kendra lit a cigarette and waited patiently.

Buffy looked at the Jamaican woman with concern. “Please don’t smoke,” she said nicely. Kendra just looked at her. “Please,” Buffy repeated.

Kendra blew out a puff of smoke in Buffy’s direction.

“Oh my God, tell her not to smoke,” Buffy turned to Faith. “There is no air circulating in here. My sweater is going to smell horrible,” she whined.

Faith walked over to Kendra and motioned for her to give Faith the cigarettes. Faith took on out, lit it and took a drag. She blew the smoke up in the air and looked at Buffy.

“When you faint from the lack of oxygen and hit your head on the marble floor, you won’t care what your sweater smells like, dip shit.”

Buffy pouted and walked over to where the one safety deposit box was sitting ajar. “This could not get any worse,” she said giving the box a shove back into its holding place.

A ray of light flashed over the top of where Faith and Kendra were standing. When the beam disappeared, so did both of them. Buffy’s mouth hung open in shock.

“B…” Faith’s voice was uncharacteristically calm. “Are we invisible?”

“Yeah huh,” Buffy nodded her head.

“Damn it, B,” Faith’s temper was back. “Don’t you know by now that you’re not supposed to touch anything?”

“Sorry,” she answered biting her bottom lip.

“Did you never see The Goonies?” Faith ranted.

“It’s a titty trap,” Kendra’s calm voice spoke.

“Bobby trap,” Faith corrected.

“Same ting,” Kendra answered.

The room fell silent. Buffy looked around but could see no trace of her friends. She began to wonder if they had ditched her.

“Are you guys still here?” she whispered.

“Shut up, B,” Faith snapped.

Below the vault, Tara was trying to reason with Willow. She herself wasn’t quite sure what point she was trying to argue since she kept flopping back and forth between what she wanted and what she knew was the right thing to do. On the one hand she was happy to be with Willow again. But, on the other side, she knew the whole situation was wrong.

“Don’t you understand…I can’t be here,” Tara insisted.

“Look, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to stress you out,” Willow could see the blonde was really tense.

“I’m not stressed out!” Tara snapped completely stressed out. “I’m such a freak,” Tara’s demeanor did a 180. “You must think I’m such a freak.”

“No, I don’t…I don’t,” Willow reassured her.

“I’m sorry I wigged out on you last night,” Tara apologized.

“It’s okay,” Willow understood.

“I just…I don’t want you to get the wrong idea,” Tara decided she needed to make a clean break with the girl. She knew if she didn’t do it now, she may not be able to the closer she let Willow get to her.

“Yeah…o…okay,” Willow was confused not sure what had just changed.

“I mean…I mean I really like you,” Tara tried not to hurt her feelings.

“Right,” Willow’s brow knitted knowing that statement could not be followed by anything good.

“But I don’t…like…like you,” Tara lied.

Willow was crushed but she needed to save face. “Yeah…yeah, I gathered…that’s…that’s why I brought you here so we could…you know…just sort of clear the air between us.”

“It’s really sweet of you to go to all this trouble to…” Tara pointed at the ramp she had just fallen down. “..chute and all…but my friends are gonna wonder where I am.”

“You can’t see them right now,” Willow blurted out involuntarily.

“Why?” Tara asked suspiciously.

“No reason,” Willow tried to look innocent but failed miserably.

“Willow! Goddess, what did you do?” A thousand scenarios raced through the blonde’s mind…all of them bad.

“Just a tiny….invisibility ray,” Willow flinched and held two fingers together to indicate something small.


“It’ll wear off in an hour or so,” she explained. “It’s not like I tried to squash them or anything.”

Tara knew it was hopeless. They were just too different. Even though she didn’t want to, she made up her mind.

“I can’t,” she shook her head. “I gotta go.”

“No, I’ll go,” Willow could tell she had blown it. The girl wasn’t ready so she backed off. “Look, I understand this whole thing isn’t gonna work out between us…because obviously I misinterpreted the whole situation…but…I just want you to know that last night was the most alive I’ve felt in awhile,” she spoke from her heart. “So, I guess I’ll see you around.”

Willow turned to leave and Tara knew if she didn’t do something that she was never going to see the redhead again. Her hand reached forward and grabbed Willow’s wrist. She brought the redhead back and pulled her close. Looking into those emerald eyes, Tara knew that what Willow had just said was as true for her as it was for Willow.

Willow saw the confusion vanish from the blonde’s face. Tara’s expression was the same now as it had been in the bar last night, right before they almost kissed. The redhead took a step closer and leaned forward.

Their lips met in a soft and tender kiss. As much as each of them had anticipated the moment, the real thing was a million times better. It lasted on a few brief seconds but had a very lasting impact on them both. They pulled back slightly and opened their eyes at the same time.

“Wow!” Willow couldn’t contain her feelings.

“Yeah,” Tara agreed getting lost in Willow’s blazing green eyes.

“Wow!” the redhead repeated.

“Yeah,” Tara repeated again too.

“Come with me,” Willow held the blonde’s hand.

“I can’t,” Reality was creeping back in for Tara.

“What do you have to lose?” Willow pleaded.

“Everything,” Tara stepped away. “I’m sorry,” she turned and went to bolt from the room.

“Wait!” Willow stepped forward and handed her a piece of paper. Tara looked at it perplexed. “It’s the combination for the vault.”

Tara wanted to run into her arms again. To kiss her and let her know how much she cared for her. But the blonde’s sensible side wouldn’t allow it. She gave the redhead a small smile and ran out of the room.

Willow sighed heavily knowing the complicated blonde was going to be harder to crack than any safe combination. That was okay with Willow because she appreciated a good challenge.

Tara unlocked and opened the vault door. She saw Buffy sitting cross legged on the floor by herself. She walked in and bumped into a concealed object.

“Watch it, T,” Faith snarled.

“Goddess,” Tara looked at the empty air.

“Did you catch her?” Faith asked.

“Not exactly,” Tara was the one who had been caught. Even is she was leaving now, she knew she wasn’t free from Willow yet. And, she was pretty sure that was a good thing.

“I think I should drive,” Tara noted.

“That’s the first plan you’ve had all day that I agree with,” Faith said.

Tara stopped by to check on the hostages who were being cared for by the Sunnydale Police. She overheard one of the women talking about how nice their captors were. The comment made her smile.

Before they got to the car, Buffy pulled Tara aside and spoke solemnly. “I know that you saw her again. Your face is doing that glowing thing.”

Tara touched her face and decided not to confirm or deny anything.

“You better figure out what’s going on with you two…before someone does get hurt,” she warned.

Buffy walked over to the car and got in the back seat. A rather lumpy back seat.

“Get off mi lap, Buffy,” Kendra said dryly.

“Oops…sorry,” she scooted over to the other seat.

Tara stopped on the driver’s side of her car. She looked across the street and saw Willow sitting in the passenger seat of her car, watching her. Tara knew their adventure together wasn’t over. This was just the beginning.


"Life is nothing but a dream, and if you create your life with Love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art." - Don Miguel Ruiz

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