I read this for the first time in 2019, before the most recent update, and I barely noticed the timespan of the posts because I just skipped through the comments. Sorry guys, but this fic was so entrancing I couldn’t possibly slow down between updates to read the (numerous) pages of comments. I was so excited when not long after I finished the fic I came back to the board to see it updated. In 2020, once quarantine started, I had some more time on my hands and decided to reread this fic, with all the comments this time. I’ve never done that before with any other of the many fanfictions I have read, but none of the other websites I have read fanfiction on makes the comments this visible and none of the other authors I have read fanfiction of has spent this much time replying to comments. I’ve always understood that as much as this website is about Willow and Tara, it is also about the community that was built around that relationship, but reading the incredible amount of feedback this fic generated really made feel that on a much deeper level and convinced me that I should actually post something, about the fic and about myself. I had a bit of difficulty figuring out how to comment, so I held off on that idea, but last month I decided to read it again, and once I finished this reread, I got some help from Rutkowski and Laragh who helped me figure out how to register and comment, thank you so much to both of them! So, I’m finally getting around to leaving a comment, as this fic so deeply deserves. So, we’d better start actually talking about the story: To say it as succinctly as possible, this fic is amazing. There is the complex story structure that peels back layer after layer of backstory as we go on, the in depth analysis of each character that manages to be so accurate to the original, even though the show could never tell us characters thoughts (except for one episode) and even though the show didn’t give Tara’s character in particular as much attention as she deserved, and incredibly sweet and romantic moments built in. This is undoubtedly one of the best fanfictions that I’ve ever read, and I have read a lot of fanfiction, much of which I’ve loved. The fact that this was your first real foray into fiction writing is incredible, and just shows that you are incredibly talented, and dedicated. The frequency with which you first posted the beginning of this fic is insane, and you kept it up even though you had work and personal things. I have nothing but good things to say, and as for all the people who complained early on about the amount of torture you put us through in those first few posts, I might have been complaining too if I hadn’t been able to read the nearly completed fic at once, but I also know what most of them understood and added to the end of their complaints, that they payoff will be worth it. We’ve gotten to see some of that payoff now, and I feel it is more than worth it. Also, many people seemed annoyed at either Willow or Tara for not having a clue about the other’s feelings despite it being obvious to us, but I never minded that. Nothing either of them had done made it clear to the other that they were in love and I can’t blame them for not seeing the others feelings. It’s just the way things work in the real world, and it was part of the story's charm as being an accurate portrayal of the beginning of a relationship. If anything, I was impressed by them when they started to put things together, as I don’t think I’d ever be optimistic and hopeful enough to reach the conclusions they did near the end of the fic, even with the given evidence. Then again, I am known to be entirely oblivious about most things most of the time, so maybe that is just me. I’d like to comment on the discussion about Willow’s coming out to her Mom and Buffy. I hate her Mom’s reaction. It’s just that, I know she may want what is best for Willow, but the problem is that she is so controlling she doesn’t realize that Willow knows what is best for her better than she does. Thinking that you know what is best for another grown adult is a problematic mentality that makes me unconcerned about how good her intentions are. It is also a very realistic reaction that many parents have to their children coming out, and fits with the little we have seen about Sheila in the show, so I applaud you for writing it so well. I saw some people saying that they were glad they had come out to their parents before reading how badly Willow’s coming went as it would have scared them, but as someone who has not come out to my mother yet but intends to do so at some point, hopefully relatively soon, I think I was just inspired by how brave Willow was in facing her mother and I think it encourages me to think I could do the same someday. I don’t know, I guess for some people who are uncertain of how their parents might react, seeing such a negative reaction might be scary, like how Willow was scared by Bryan’s coming out story. For me though, I’m not in that state of uncertainty, I know my mother is not going to take my coming out well and I just need to get it over with, so seeing Willow make it through that difficult encounter makes me feel like maybe I will also be able to do so someday. As for Buffy, I have to say, I completely understand where she is coming from and fully support her response. I think what some of the kittens who were more critical of her are forgetting is that Willow’s secret cost Buffy her friendship with Xander. She hasn’t been close with him, one of her former best friends, because she thought he was leading Willow on. He hasn’t corrected her because he was keeping Willow’s secret. Willow doesn’t understand what her secret has cost Buffy and Xander, but Buffy does and it makes sense that she would need a second to deal with how out of the loop they’ve kept her for the past three years. I think if either Xander or Buffy had let Willow know what was happening between them, she might have gotten over her fear of coming out virtually and told Buffy over the phone a long time before moving to San Francisco. Unfortunately, there was a lot of miscommunication in this friend group and it led to hurt feelings for everyone, so I don’t feel like I can blame Buffy for her reaction, not since she went out of her way to make clear to Willow that she does support her, she just needed to process the fact that Xander knew for so long. Also, I’m not the first person to say this, but your description of San Francisco is so wonderful and really sets the mood for the story. I have only ever been to San Francisco once (well, I guess technically twice, but I was a baby the first time and have no memory of it, so I don’t really think it counts) but I’m going to be moving near there next month to start grad school in the bay area. That actually is part of the reason I decided to reread this story again. I made a list of all of the interesting places you noted in San Francisco so that I can go there myself once I settle in. That, and the fact that this story is wonderful and I couldn’t get it out of my head. Also, as a more STEM minded person, this story has taught me so much about modern art! I recognized very few of the names you mentioned as people Tara was inspired by, but I looked them up and was glad to learn more. I recently went to an art museum where I saw some painting by de Kooning, Richter, and The Thinker and other sculptures by Rodin and I was thinking about this story and this version of Tara the whole time. This is probably really selfish and inconsiderate of the people who have waited over a decade to see this fic completed, but I’m kind of glad that this fic is still not completed. I mean, for one, if it had been completed sometime in 2005 or 2004 as originally planned, it probably would have been way near the back of pens, and while I’m sure it would be on plenty of rec lists, it’s possible I wouldn't have stumbled across it. Even if I could have guaranteed that I’d get to read it, I still like being one of the countless people who have waited over the years for this fic to finish. That may sound crazy, but again, this fic and this website is amazing and I like the idea of being a part of its history. Which leads me to talking about myself: I’m 21 years old, which means when I was born, Hush had already aired, so the seeds that would turn into one of the most iconic femslash pairings of all time, and pretty much the original canon one, had already been planted. I could read when this fic was posted, and my Dad was a computer engineer so I actually had access to a computer on which I remember playing games on the pbs website, so I suppose it would have been theoretically possible for me to have found the kitten board, but needless to say, I was still four. All of this to say, I obviously could not participate in this fandom while the show was happening and it was at its peak. I didn’t actually end up watching Buffy until 2018, by which time Willow/Tara was definitely not the first femslash relationship I’d seen on TV, as it was for most people when it first aired. I think I can still somewhat understand what they might have meant to people when the show first aired though. For one, even watching in 2018, Willow/Tara definitely meant something to me. Willow was, to me, the most relatable character on the show from the moment she was introduced, and watching her grow up and become more confident and comfortable with herself was one of my favorite parts of Buffy. I knew about her sexuality going into the show, and I knew that her coming out story would have meant a lot to me, if I was born like 15 years earlier or so, but once I actually started watching and realized how lovable Willow was and how much I would have related to her even before she came out, I started to realize that I quite probably would have been obsessed with this show in another lifetime, that is, even more obsessed than I was in this lifetime. Part of the reason I can say that is because I had a show like that in this lifetime: The 100. It was the first show I ever really watched with a femslash relationship and I started watching in 2015, between seasons 2 and 3, which was also coincidentally when I was seriously dealing with my own sexuality. I didn’t actually watch the show because of the femslash relationship, it was a new enough development on the show that The 100 wasn’t famous for that yet and being gay was a new enough development for me that I wasn’t actively looking for gay shows yet. I guess it can still be said that I watched it for gay reasons though, since I watched it because the girl I liked watched it. Regardless, I was hooked by Clexa, the relationship on the show, and I got rather into the Clexa fandom on Tumblr, which was very active as we made our way through the long 9 months to season 3. The people I followed on Tumblr led me to new gay shows and new people and all in all I started to feel like part of a community of queer women, and that was probably one of the single most helpful things for my coming out process. Anyone who has watched The 100 knows that Clexa’s end is eerily similar to Willow/Tara’s. In fact, I think the first time I really heard of Willow/Tara at all was in the aftermath of 307 when someone posted something about Tara’s death and complained that we should not still be dealing with that kind of a bury your gays trope 15 years later (or it is possible that I may have seen a gifset of funny gay moments from season 5, such as the guy from the council asking them about their relationship in 512 and Joyce complaining about men problems in 501, either way). It may seem strange that with that being literally the only information I had about Buffy The Vampire Slayer I chose to watch it, but I think I liked the idea that other people also understood what it meant to be so invested in a story and the representation it provided you and how it hurt when the writers betrayed you. At any rate, it’s not like I jumped straight in with my broken heart. I watched a bunch of happy gay shows first, and then over 2 years later, I started watching Buffy. After I finished it (and even during, I wasn’t very good avoiding spoilers) I started looking into Buffy fanfiction. I started by searching A03, which is where I normally read fanfiction, but it quickly became apparent that that wasn’t the place to go, on account of how it didn’t exist until nearly a decade after Buffy stopped airing. I eventually found my way to The Kitten, The Witches, and the Bad Wardrobe (which is a fantastic name by the way) and I’m so glad I did. It is wonderful to see the community on this website and it only confirms what I already knew: if I hadn’t been in diapers for the entirety of Willow and Tara’s relationship, I would have been obsessed with them, and this website. I just have to say to all of the people who have been on this website since the early days, thank you for creating this community for queer women to express themselves. I inherited a world with much more queer representation and with large and easily accessible fandom communities around femslash ships, and that is in part because of how all of you responded to Willow/Tara, so thank you all for slowly working to make the world as a better place, as someone who reaped the benefits of it.
Last edited by TheBigPineapple99 on Sat Jul 24, 2021 2:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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