Well, I actually have an update! Amazing! I actually have about 3/4 of the next part done, we'll see how long it takes to get that finished and up. Enjoy this part while I get that done.
I am not a huge fan of NC-17 fiction, and that might be partially why this has taken longer than is reasonable to be finished. However, I also don’t wish to gloss over that part of their relationship, Willow and Tara should not be chastely gay, there was quite a bit of passion beneath the surface of what we saw, and some of that must have influenced me. I don’t think it will happen again, but now things are still fresh for Tara and making an impression on her so I think she’d record it, obviously or I wouldn’t have included it. As with all the speculation, I could be wrong though.
Title: From the journal of Tara MaClay Pt. 16A
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The events after New Moon Rising, before Yoko Factor in Season 4.
Note: Written November 2004 through April 2005 and now January 2006 (uggh, now that’s way too long of a gap!). The entries are no longer consecutive days, some gaps may appear. This is the second part of the overall Interlude, part one of Stormy Nights, so there will be one more. This will be resolving some hanging threads that are left around with Mandy and her crew, and a resulting side W/T adventure that is not from the show, though soon we’ll be back to canon, more or less.
Interlude: Stormy Nights I
Thursday Morning:
She moves like a morning sun,
Drifting and flowing over me,
A warmth that sinks within.
The chill that had encased me,
Broken by her searing lips,
And the gentlest of looks.
My spirit rises like a flower,
Nurtured by loving hands,
Turns towards her shining face.
I’m drawn into her orbit,
The most heavenly of bodies,
And life renewing presence.
I reach out towards her,
And my hand is met,
two souls joining as one.
Finally, she lowers beside me,
A sun setting within my arms,
A warmth that sinks within.
Ah, that’s not very good, I still need to work on it, but really, what can compare to the glorious time I’ve been allowed to spend with her? How can any words truly express the feelings I get when she touches me, when her lips close on mine, or when her fingers move within me? It’s like I’m filled with a light that just continues to grow and build and she’s the only thing that can give me release without my bursting, though, that just starts the process all over again.
Goddess, I feel like I’m intoxicated beyond reason, addicted to the sex, the love, the simple presence of her and can’t get enough. I want her tongue on me, I want to taste her, feel her move and slide beneath and beside me. I can’t get enough, no matter what we do, or how often. My heart is racing just thinking of her, my palms sweaty and the flames of desire raging within me. Is it supposed to be like this? Is love so consuming that all other things, other aspects of life, are overwhelmed, become inconsequential?
Mother, was it ever like this for you? Did Father ignite you like she does me? It’s hard to imagine. Home seems so cold and remote in my memory. So different from the time I share with her. Perhaps even this is destined to burn out? To die down, leaving cooling embers of emotion that are but distant echoes of what burned before? Goddess, don’t let it be so. My need is so raw, so great, she’s so enormously and completely…her, Willow, mine, my love. Aagggh, I just want to shout, to sing and cry all at the same time. I need to meditate, achieve some balance and make sure that I don’t frighten her with the depth of my feelings, my overwhelming need for her. It’s just that I love her so much. Every little aspect of her, that amazingly soft and silky hair, her cute face and those emerald eyes that seem to drink in everything. Her hands, so soft, smooth and unblemished, yet hiding a surprising strength. The way her voice resonates within my head, her laugh the purest sound of joy that lifts my spirit and makes me smile no matter what’s happened or the mood I might be in. And the way the energy flows and tingles when we touch, I still get shivers just thinking about it. It’s as though my chest is ready to burst with joy, pride, need, and would swallow her whole if given half the chance. Oh, Mother, I am so entirely in love with her and so happy. Is there any possibility she feels the same overpowering crush of emotion?
I mean, she’s been through some of this before, right? She had Oz, thought she loved him and even had a brief thing with Xander at one point. Does that allow her to cope easier? Give her some perspective I lack?
Perhaps I’m making too much of everything, over-reacting like a silly romantic dork? People fall in love, have sex, get married even, every day. It’s not that big a deal, right? A perfectly natural and normal occurrence. Happens all the time.
So why does this seem like so much more? Or is that just what all silly girls like me feel the first time? But…it’s almost as if I can feel her now, sense her existence, gain strength from it, be reassured that she’s there, somewhere in the world and that she’s a part of me. Goddess she’s so kind and beautiful and sweet and I love the way she says my name and how she makes me feel.
She even allows me to forget, just for a while, my evil nature, the demon within me. Is it possible, do I even dare to hope, that her love might be able to make that portion of me disappear, or at least diminish, hibernate maybe, and never come out? When she’s present I don’t feel the slightest shred of evil, even my doubts seem to recede. I could love her just for that alone.
So much has happened, again, since last I updated my journal. I blew off my afternoon classes yesterday and lazed about my room indulging in indolence and the memories of her touches, the lingering sensations and scents. I was still a little afraid that somehow all that had happened would be taken from me. That some trick, illusion, spell or whatever was responsible and that it was all created to torture me by being revoked.
I watched the clouds slowly form and slide across the sky. I saw various parts of her within them, a half face and smile here, a perfectly shaped arm there, the swell of hip and trailing leg. The breeze continued to be warmer than normal and the smell of more rain hung heavy within it, but that only seemed more appropriate for lying about. I imagined it was her breath softly flowing around me, running over my skin and it was almost too much.
While I looked into the evening sky, an orangeish-golden light reflected off the scattered clouds, and the sudden storm from my dream came to mind. It had a similar aspect: large billowing clouds of dark gray that were almost like a wall with sudden upsurges for towers or the keep of some fantastical castle or fortress.
In the back of my mind I swore I recalled seeing something on weather magic in Golina’s spell book. In the past I’d flipped through it now and then, just sort of skimming the words without really understanding them. It takes a fair amount of concentration and attention to translate it, but this notion came unbidden, almost a flash of insight so I decided to see if I could find it again. Weather magics are difficult to perform as they’re very tricky, or at least that’s what Mother always said. One could destroy the balance of the area, or the countryside nearby with an ill-performed spell. Weather patterns are large and planet wide, not something that can easily be altered without repercussions. One needs great skill, tight concentration, and a gentle touch as they manipulate the magic.
After a little searching I did indeed find several spells, there was a protection spell that would ward one from lightning, and keep the affects of wind, hail and rain to a minimum. That seemed pretty cool and I had the idea of giving it a try just to see if I could do it, but decided against it since there was no storm currently raging and she wasn’t there. I didn’t want to do anything that we could try together later on.
The second spell was odd, it seemed to almost be in a different language, though it was still old French. The phrasing and wording seemed strange, even the handwriting appeared slightly off. Perhaps Golina had merely copied the spell from some other book? It allowed one to call rain to water the crops or to increase the severity of a storm, ostensibly to keep an area isolated from military expeditions or unwanted attention. However, there was something disturbing about the spell. I found the hair on the back of my neck rising and my arms covered in goosebumps despite the warm evening.
The third spell was more obviously similar to the rest of the ones in the book and was basically to quell a storm. It was designed to mitigate the ravages of a tornado or hurricane, decrease the wind and rain and disperse the tempest’s energies over several days and a very wide area. It seemed much more in tune with the ecosystem and the natural order and specifically tried to avoid any short or long term complications to the weather patterns. I liked the feel of this spell and again the idea of trying it out, stopping another storm from hitting us tonight, which I was suddenly certain would come, seemed like a good test and idea.
It was strange, the sun was setting, the shadows growing longer and the orange tinge much deeper as light reflected off the clouds, which appeared to be unusually dark and foreboding. I was sitting at my desk with the window behind me, my translation texts nearby, my rear starting to ache from having sat too long, and yet there was a soft silverish light by which I was reading. I had just consciously noted it when her knock came on the door and then it opened as she burst in.
The room seemed both to darken and brighten at the same time. She was all bubbly and ‘Hi, I missed you, give me a kiss!’ and I absently closed the book as her arms wrapped around my chest and her lips pressed against my cheek. I turned my head to return her next kiss and all thoughts of spells left my head at the sudden jolt of our lips. The energy that flowed between us seemed to pulse in sharp sudden surges. I almost thought I heard crackling and hissing like an electrical connection between two poles similar to what I’d once seen in science class.
We finally parted and she said ‘wow,’ and I had to second that. I looked into her deep green eyes in the still darkening room, at the smile that lit up her face and couldn’t help smiling like a loon back at her. She’s so beautiful in the evening. Her hair stands out like a deep red field and her skin seems so unblemished, a perfect sculpture of fine ivory.
She asked what I was doing sitting in the dark and flipped on my desk light. I told her I’d been translating a little bit of weather magic and she thought that might be useful, given how strange it’d been lately. I laughed and said if it kept us in, then it was fine by me, but she put on her mock pout and said that I wasn’t going to get off that easily and she hadn’t gotten dressed up for nothing.
It was then that I looked at what she was wearing rather than just her captivating face. She had on a stunning dark blue dress made of something like satin or felt that exposed her shoulders and a little cleavage while spreading out just a bit below her knees and stretched down to a wider area just above the ankles. She had on a necklace with a quartz crystal that caught the light and highlighted a slim silver necklace and earrings. A dark belt broke up the expanse of blue and it seemed so regal, formal and yet warm and inviting despite being blue that I almost forgot to breathe.
I told her she looked like the most gorgeous and sophisticated lady ever and where was the ball tonight? She just smiled, did a little curtsey and said she’d seen it in one of the stores when we’d been out window shopping the other Sunday and couldn’t resist picking it up and she hoped I would forgive her for being a little late?
I stood up and took her hands, sort of spun her about and then softly kissed her, feeling her breath mingle with mine and the excitement build within me. I stood back and looked down at my own jeans and the T-shirt I’d thrown on earlier and realized I had nothing to compare with her elegant look. Bless her, she smiled at the consternation on my face and told me not to fear, she had just the thing for me, and stepped over to the door, opened it, reached around the corner and produced a large white box with a little gold ribbon on it.
She held it out to me and I took it with trembling hands. I could tell just from the box that it was probably expensive, and likely some beautiful dress. There had been one in particular that was a sort of jade green that extended to mid calf and had a matching, but lighter tinted, blouse with a sort of diamond pattern in it that was kind of glossy and which caught the light at certain angles that really struck me. I had just the shoes and necklace to go with it and remembered it being on sale, but it was just a bit more than I’d wanted to spend at the time.
Tremulously I opened the box and just stared at the fine green cloth within it. Oh, it was beautiful, stunning even, and I did have the perfect gold necklace to go with it. My eyes watered a bit and her beaming face sent me over the edge. A few happy tears fell down my face, around curved cheeks from the wide smile I wore.
She said, ‘so you like it?’ and I just nodded and kissed her over the box. Her lips were so soft, moist and delicious. I wanted more, but she broke off and told me to take it out and try it on and I replied she just wanted to see me strip, and though she nodded her head and laughed in the affirmative, she added that it wouldn’t be fair for me to be the only partially clothed one, and that was for later, so she’d just turn her back and not peek even a little bit or we’d never get out of the room. She made a big deal of going over to my desk and sitting, carefully, on the chair, putting her little black purse by the lamp and looking at Golina’s spell book.
That made me smile even more and I took the dress out of the box and saw the paler green silk blouse inside as well. I might have squealed cuz I definitely heard her giggle and I swear her back looked awfully pleased. I snuck up behind her and planted a wet, sloppy kiss on her ear and whispered huskily that I’d get even with her and she shivered and told me not to make threats I couldn’t make good on.
I breathed in the scent of her hair, let it rub on my cheek, kissed the top of her head and told her I loved her, that she was the most precious thing in the world to me and that I never wanted to lose her. She sort of swiveled in the chair and said that she never wanted to lose me either and that she’d never loved someone like she did me. Our lips meshed and our tongues slid in a perfect ballet of pleasure, warmth and wetness.
Finally she said I better put on my dress before it was too late, though she never said too late for what and her eyes seemed darker than normal. I figured she was probably right though, and went over to my closet. I figured a deep maroon scarf might be a good compliment, and dug out my fancy black church shoes.
I took off my top, slid my pants down and stepped out of them when I suddenly felt her arms wrap around me. Her mouth was a hot, moist tingling that swept over my neck, around to my ear, kissing and licking me while her hands stroked and cupped my breasts. My breath rushed out and I shuddered in sheer delight as the soft felt of her dress pressed against my bare back. Her fingers were warm little brands that kneaded and pinched through a thin bra that suddenly didn’t seem thin enough.
I started to turn around so I could wrap my arms around her, but she stopped me with a soft, ‘unh-uh.’
Her tongue continued to trace the nape of my neck causing my jaw to quiver uncontrollably. I leaned harder back into her though she shifted more to my side and kissed the area in front and below my ear with tiny little kisses that sent jolts through me. One hand slid down my back and caressed both cheeks, pressed the sheer fabric of my panties against me, and then slowly, rubbed softly and then harder and faster between my legs. The wet material seemed to cause shivers and waves of pleasure with each stroke.
I moaned both in desire and disappointment when she slowed and stopped, only to cry out as her other hand worked one breast free and her mouth closed on the nipple, her tongue swirling around it, followed by slippery little nibbles and sucking that almost made me topple over and my knees shake.
She must have read my mind, because after a few glorious moments she leaned back up, kissed the side of my panting mouth, and pushed me face first onto the bed. Again I went to roll over and she pressed me down with one hand while I felt her hair softly brush against my lower back, and her lips trail kisses down towards my rear.
Her teeth nipped at me and then she finally slid my panties down to my ankles and nudged my thighs apart with her face and tongue.
Oh, Goddesss, I’ve never been so entirely and utterly turned on. The room was half dark, the warm breeze still blew in from outside and I was both completely relaxed yet totally thrumming with desire. I shut my eyes and just reveled in the feel of her cheeks on my inner leg, the brush of her silky hair as she moved. Her kisses reached the swell of my buttocks and her tongue probed at my folds sending wave after wave of pleasure through me. It was like I was helpless, trapped and powerless beneath her, and yet it was freeing and liberating. Nothing existed but the sensations she brought, encouraged and induced. Her hands were like a fire that awakened the most joyful sensations wherever they touched.
Everything built and built and I started moaning, ‘now, now!’ when something cool and hard slid into me. I recall thinking, ‘Oew, toys,’ before nothing but scintillating colors and explosions swept through my mind as the ecstasy overcame me. This time I’m sure I yelled out her name.
Finally, she let me roll over and kissed me full on the lips. Our tongues met several times while one hand softly caressed my neck, ear, hair, and the other found the exposed breast and made sure I didn’t entirely settle down. My heart was racing so fast, my breath coming in such short, rapid bursts I almost missed her soft, ‘I love you more than anything.’
I hugged her tightly and then pulled her down on top of me, though she resisted a bit at first. The feel of her dress and the cool leather belt on my stomach was almost enough to get me going again. We kissed several more times, my hands stroking and stroking her hair and head, before she squirmed, which was nice, and got free enough to say she was getting all disheveled, and we really should get going sometime soon.
I laughed and laughed at the mock innocence on her face as she stood up and straightened her dress and hair. She reached over for my brush and smoothed her hair while stating that it was all my fault and that I drug her down into a very dirty gutter. She tried to keep a straight face, but couldn’t stop the giggles from bursting loose.
I lay there looking up at her and suddenly realized that she had to have had this all planned out. I jumped up and grabbed her, underwear dragging from one foot and exclaimed, ‘You vixen!’ in false outrage.
I went for the ticklish spots on her side and poked and prodded for all I was worth. She screamed, giggled and shook but didn’t move away. I picked her up and sort of tossed her to the bed on her back and continued to alternately tickle and kiss her, while she kept howling and wriggling. I finally told her I wouldn’t want to mess up her dress or hair more than it already was, but later tonight she was going to definitely get some payback.
She lay amidst my rumpled covers and the pillows, her chest rising and falling rapidly and her shining green eyes looking back at me with such a look of absolute happiness on her face that it shook me to my core. Goddess, she was so happy, ecstatic even, and completely at ease. I was standing with one boob hanging out of my bra, underwear tangled around one ankle, wearing nothing else, and didn’t even feel self-conscious at all. How had this happened?
It was like I was in another life, died and been reborn. No cares about family or home, no thoughts about demonic heritage or being evil. Just her…and me…together; blissful and exultant that the other existed, was there, shared the same feelings. I suddenly felt closer to her than ever before. I placed one small kiss on the center of her chest, just above the dress and pressed my head against her. She held me in place, her fingers gently flowing through my hair, and I swear we both sighed at the same time.
I thought then that it couldn’t get any better. This was the best single moment of my life. The memory of one of the final scenes from Robin and Marion came to my mind, Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn slowly dieing together. I did sort of vaguely wonder if something like that wasn’t for the best? Die happy, after a great day that was likely never to be equaled. Preserve the moment forever.
It was a terrible thought, there was so much more I wanted to experience with her, so many more days to spend together, pleasure and wonderful times like this we could share. I guess that was just the little demon voice in the back of my head trying to ruin things, bring me back to earth after the heavenly heights she’d taken me to. Father, Donny…they couldn’t touch me now, no matter what happened I’d have the memory of this time together with her to treasure, future heights to aspire to. As long as I’m with her there’s reason to go on, things to hope for, something to be thankful for.
I’ve never been overly morose and even these dark thoughts didn’t dampen my spirits. I stood upright and looked down at the amazing woman lying on my bed. The one gazing up at me with that strange look I’d grown to enjoy and I knew the whole night would be magical. A storybook romance made real, and that sometimes the Goddess and God’s blessings weren’t just for others.
I pulled her up and told her she shouldn’t fool around so much, she’d look like a tramp and that brought more laughter. I unfastened my bra, kicked my panties into the closest, and she said I was such a hussy, she didn’t know what she was doing with the likes of me and that it certainly wasn’t right for a proper lady.
I reached down and held up her metal device saying her ladyship forgot something. She just smiled and said to leave that here, we might need it later and then I did blush, and we both laughed again.
I got dressed while she made herself presentable once more. After about twenty minutes we both looked fashionable and elegant, which got a smirk out of both of us, though she said I looked as gorgeous in my new dress as I did out of it.
We left the dorm holding hands and stayed that way, or arms linked, all the way to the restaurant. We got there around 8:20, about ten minutes early for our reservation and I had to ask how she’d timed it that well? She looked a little embarrassed and said she had actually set one for eight, eight-thirty, and nine telling them she wasn’t entirely positive when our function would end and we would arrive, and if they could have a table ready at each time. It took some persuading, but she can be pretty insistent when she wants to be. She said if it hadn’t worked she would have just made three different reservations under three different names.
I looked at her with mouth open and told myself to remember how calculating she is. Leave it to her to plan for something like what happened. Not that I mind, far from it, but still, she can obviously be a lot more schemey and plotting than I’d known. Once again, another side of my fantastic girl is discovered. I wonder if I seem plain and boring to her? Maybe not now, while things are so new, but will she still be so enchanted, willing to go to such lengths in six months? A year from now? Will we even still be together then?
No, there’s no reason to ruin things with such thoughts or pointless worries. That she wants me so much, loves me enough to plan a seduction or sexy encounter is almost more than I can get my mind around. Oh, Mother, it feels so good to be desired like this, to have someone who values me so much. No, we’re together now and I have to believe that the future will go as the Goddess intends and that despite my demonic heritage things can work out for us. They have to; I can’t see living any other way now.
Continued immediately below...