Hey there campers... another update! My goodness, y'all are spoiled now, aren't you? My muse is now accepting panties of all shapes and colors. Just toss them in the air, and she'll catch them.
Sorry, I'm a little short on time tonight, so I'll get to replies soon. As always, thanks for reading, and thanks for all the great comments. I really, really appreciate it, especially in this story. I'm doing a lot more character analysis here, trying to explore what we know and love about these characters, as well as the new dimensions presented by the AU aspect. Although this is something of a Tara-centric story, in that the overt plot conflict lies with her, there is a lot of things I'm enjoying exploring with Willow - her insecurities, her relationships, etc. I'm glad to know that you guys are liking that exploration thus far, so thanks for that. Really.
-BB
Title: The Truth of Deception - Part 7: Twilight
Author: blameburner
Feedback: Sure… Always a plus
Summary: AU, baby! So you all know by now... Tara is part of the Initiative. Plenty of questions remain, however, and the answers will be revealed... eventually.
Spoiler Warning: S4. Everything up to "Hush" is canon. After that, this story veers off. There will be some similarities to S4, but definite differences. Basically, if it happened after "Hush" on the show, assume it
didn't happen unless I mention it specifically.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, but oh how I wish they were! Joss, blah, blah, ME, blah, blah.
Rating: Generally R, but some NC-17 (maybe). Just be prepared.
Pairings: W/T, of course.
Angst: Maggie's in it, so it's an automatic 5.
Previously...Willow squeezed Tara's hand. "I kinda like having something that's just... you know... mine?"
Tara placed her other hand over Willow's. "I am, you know," she said softly.
Willow looked directly into Tara's eyes. "What?"
"Yours," Tara answered softly.
Willow couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine.
Mine, she thought.
Part 7
Tara didn't want a repeat of the uneasiness from a few minutes earlier, so she decided to lighten up the tone a bit. She released Willow's hand and scooted back on the bed, propping her head up on the pillows. Willow relaxed, too, laying diagonally on the bed, resting on her elbow.
"So... I've got an important question for you," Tara said, waggling her eyebrows.
"You do?" Willow asked, grinning.
"Uh-huh," Tara answered. "The fate of the world hangs in the balance."
"Ooo, I'm good at those!" Willow said, her voice tinged with excitement. "I got an A+ in Apocalypse 101!"
Tara laughed. "I'll just bet you did. Okay, here it goes - and you have to pick one or the other. If you had to walk into the SAT's an hour late, or run through the quad naked, which would you do?"
"Tara!" Willow sat up slightly, shocked.
Tara just rolled to her side and quirked an eyebrow. "Well?" she asked.
Willow was blushing. "I, uh... well, um... there's the... with the... or else... uh, I guess I'd... get naked?"
"Really?" Tara said, surprised. "I knew you had that whole being-late-to-the-SAT's phobia, but... really?"
Willow nodded. "I mean... yikes! Lesser of two evils. Neither option is appealing, though."
Tara really, really wanted to disagree, considering the very naughty visual she had in her head of Willow running naked through campus. Tara swallowed audibly.
"You okay, Tar?" Willow asked in complete innocence. She had no clue what she was doing to Tara at the moment.
"Uh, yeah. Fine," Tara said somewhat shakily. "Just a frog in my throat."
"Frogs!" Willow yelped. "Ooo, ooo, ooo, yuck!"
Tara looked at Willow, completely confused.
"Oh, did I forget to mention that?" Willow asked, still freaked by the thought of frogs. "I, uh... I have frog fear."
"Frog fear?" Tara asked. Willow nodded, her eyes wide. Tara thought it was totally adorable.
"Uh-huh," she squeaked. "Followed closely by horse fear."
Tara shook her head. "You realize I'm going to have to cure you of that, right?"
Willow looked panicked. "Please tell me you're joking."
"Nope. I love horses. I ride really well," Tara said.
Willow gulped, but not from the thought of overcoming her fear. She had a sudden image of Tara as Lady Godiva, riding bareback completely naked through the campus. Willow's mouth suddenly went dry.
"Really, Willow. It'll be okay," Tara said reassuringly. "I'll teach you how to ride, and I promise, you'll love it."
Willow gulped again. She was blushing profusely.
Oh boy, Willow thought. She tried to distract herself from the thoughts of Tara that were making her blush.
Boys, boys, boys... big, bulging muscles... facial hair... strong hands... strong, long fingers... soft, long fingers... soft skin... Tara-skin... stop it, stop it, stop it! Oh boy...Tara looked at Willow quizzically. Her frog and horse fear really ran deep. A yawn snuck up on her.
"Oh, excuse me," Tara said, glancing over at her alarm clock. "Wow. I had no idea it was so late," she commented absently.
"Oh! Sorry! You probably want to get some sleep!" Willow apologized, scrambling off the bed. "I mean, geez, there's nothing worse than a houseguest that won't leave, right? Someone who comes over and just stays and stays and won't-"
"Willow, breathe," Tara interrupted. Willow did. "You don't have to go."
Willow looked at Tara questioningly.
"I mean... it's late, you... you could just, um... stay here? You know, crash?" Tara said, trying to keep the hope from her voice.
"Um... really?" Willow asked. She was working very hard at not sounding hopeful.
"Yeah, I mean... nighttime, Sunnydale... vampires and demons lurking in the shadows, looking for a snack..." Tara said, "If you left now I'd... well, I'd worry."
Willow smiled. "You would?"
"Of course I would," Tara said quietly. "So, uh... since I'd be worried, I'd... I'd have to walk you home! Make sure you got back safe?"
"But... but... but then you'd be walking home by yourself, and
I'd be worried," Willow babbled, "so then I'd have to walk
you home, which, you know, would be kind of-"
"Right! Because then I'd have to walk you home again-"
"And we'd just keep walking each other home until the sun came up-"
"Which would be really, really-"
"Silly," they both finished. Then they laughed.
"So, you see? It really makes much more sense for you to stay here tonight," Tara said. She couldn't help but be giddy at the prospect of Willow staying the night.
"Oh yes, much more sense," Willow agreed, nodding enthusiastically. "It's very much with the logic, and I'm all about being logic-gal!"
Tara nodded, and both girls just kept looking at each other, smiling broadly. They stayed that way for several moments, both unsure of what to do next. Tara was still laying on the bed, and Willow remained standing by the door.
Well this is silly, Tara thought.
Someone's got to make a move here."Uh, Wil?" Tara said gently. "Why don't you come lay down?"
Willow looked like Wylie Coyote hanging in mid-air after he just ran off the edge of the cliff. "Um... huh?"
"Well," Tara started to explain, hoping she could pull this off without sounding too over-eager, "I'm not letting you sleep on the floor, and I know that if I offer to sleep on the floor you're just going to argue with me about it. So in the interests of time, I just figured I'd head off the argument before it could start - we'll just share the bed, okay?"
Willow's mouth went dry, and she nodded dumbly. "Uh-huh," she answered weakly.
Bed. Tara. Tara in bed. Me in bed. Tara and me in bed. Together. All night. Oh boy...Slowly Willow made her way towards the bed. Tara slid down and over slightly, making room for Willow. The redhead paused for a moment, and then eased her way onto the furthermost edge of the bed - as close to the edge as she could get without falling off. But Tara was having none of it.
"Willow, if you lay like that all night, you're going to end up on the floor," Tara said jokingly.
"Huh? Oh..." Willow looked down her body and realized Tara was right. She scooted over a bit closer to Tara, still leaving a good three feet between them. She lay on her back, her hands clasped together over her abdomen, staring straight at the ceiling. Tara reached over and turned out the light, and then lay back down in the exact same position as Willow.
The room was cast in a soft glow from the moon and from the fairy lights. Both women lay there, unblinking.
This is gonna be a long night, Tara thought.
Willow had a million thoughts racing through her head, all of them about Tara. She didn't know why she was so nervous. She and Buffy had shared a bed on numerous occasions, and it had never been a problem for Willow. There were many nights in high school when saving the world had taken them well into the early morning hours, and the girls had ended up at Buffy's to crash.
And it never failed, Willow thought.
Every single time, I would wake up with Buffy holding on to me like her favorite teddy bear.Buffy was a cuddler, and truth was, it was because of Buffy that Willow had realized that she was a cuddler, too. Willow liked to cuddle. She liked hugs, she liked having someone else's arms wrapped around her, holding her. It made her feel safe. And loved.
Yet here she was, laying in bed next to Tara, stiff as a board and wide awake. She and Tara had hugged several times in the last few weeks, and each time it had felt like nothing Willow had ever felt before. It was comfort and joy and love and protection, all rolled into one. And Willow really, really liked it.
Well this is silly, Willow thought.
We can't lay like this all night.Tara was thinking similar thoughts. In the last few weeks they had grown quite at ease with each other, except of course in those moments where they weren't at ease. But for the most part, just being around Willow brought Tara a greater sense of comfort than she had ever known, and it seemed to Tara that Willow felt the same. They often found themselves holding hands for no reason, or hugging, or just... touching. Always touching. Touches of comfort. Touches of friendship. Touches of support.
Yet here we are, terrified of touching one another, Tara thought. All Tara wanted to do was hold Willow in her arms, if only for this one night.
"Tara?" Willow asked quietly in the dark. "Are you awake?"
"Yes," Tara said softly.
"Um... could I... I mean... uh..." Willow fumbled for words to express what she wanted, that wouldn't freak Tara out completely.
"What do you need, Willow?" Tara asked gently, turning her head towards Willow.
Willow relaxed at the soft tones of Tara's voice, and she gathered her courage. "Could we... cuddle?"
Tara had to forcibly keep herself from jumping off the bed and doing a Happy Dance. "Sure we can," Tara said.
"I mean, we don't-"
"Willow," Tara interrupted. "Come over here."
Willow grinned at Tara and scooted over. Tara opened her arms to Willow, and the redhead went easily, wrapped an arm around Tara's waist and settling her head on Tara's shoulder.
"Better?" Tara asked, trying to keep her body from physically reacting to the feel of Willow's soft curves flush against her own.
"Um..." Willow hesitated, and then thought,
What the hell... She slid her thigh up onto Tara's hip, and Tara had to stop herself from moaning. "Now better," Willow sighed happily.
"G-Good," Tara said, bringing her arms up around Willow's small frame. Truth was, while the nearness of Willow was setting her body on fire, it was also soothing her soul. She felt like this is what her body was made for - holding Willow. It felt right and wonderfully familiar, like her body was remembering a dream from long-ago.
Of course, Willow's body was reacting in much the same way that Tara's was. Her skin burned wherever it touched Tara's body, and yet she felt amazingly comfortable.
"Goodnight, Willow," Tara said quietly.
"Goodnight, Tara," Willow answered back. She closed her eyes and thought of the woman who's arms she slept in. She thought of Tara's amazing grace in all things. She thought back to the night they'd been running for their lives together, and how crazy that night had been - and yet the thing Willow remembered most about Tara that night was how calm she had seemed, how serene. In the most frantic of situations, Tara had brought Willow peace.
Willow thought, too, of all the time she spent with Tara, and how she had kept Tara hidden from her friends. She had meant what she had said to Tara earlier in the evening, that she liked having something that was just... hers. No Slayer no Scoobies, no apocalypses... just her and Tara, apart from everyone and everything else. A secret. Her secret.
But Willow knew, too, that that wasn't all there was to it, no matter how she tried to delude herself. A part of her desperately wanted her friends to know Tara. She wanted to show them that this beautiful, amazing person was in
her life, and hers alone. She wanted them to know that Willow was good enough and smart enough and cool enough to have someone like this in her life. And that thought shamed her.
Tara didn't deserve to be some kind of trophy, put on display to make Willow feel better about herself. No, Tara didn't deserve that. Tara deserved everything Willow could give her, not the scraps off Willow's plate. Half-way just wasn't good enough when it came to Tara. Not in Willow's eyes, anyway.
Yes, Willow wanted Tara to meet her friends, yet she was scared, too. Scared that maybe her friends would see something between her and Tara that she had been too afraid to admit to herself. If her friends saw the two of them together, they would know.
Know what? That I adore this woman? That she's the most incredible person I've ever met? That I can't wait to spend time with her? That my heart actually hurts when I'm not near her? That I'm...Willow knew the words that were there, waiting to be spoken in her mind. Still, she wasn't ready. She was closer, but not ready. For once she said the words, even in her own mind, they would become true. And once they were true, there was no turning back.
She felt Tara drift off to sleep, the blonde's arms tightening slightly around her, and it felt like Heaven. It felt like a gift, a gift Willow felt she didn't deserve, but would accept anyway. For this precious gift, Willow decided, Tara deserved something of equal measure. Something Willow should have done a long time ago. Not because it was owed or expected, and not for Willow's benefit. For Tara.
Tomorrow, Willow would take Tara to meet her friends. Her decision made, Willow slid happily into slumber.
***************************
Maggie Walsh thumbed through Tara's latest report again. She couldn't help but feel that her best agent was holding out on her. She and Willow had been getting together for several weeks now, and had done nothing more than the simplest of spells.
No indication of any power on the level of that first night, Walsh thought, disappointed.
The report seemed pretty complete, however. Most of their time seemed to have been devoted to the study of magic. Yet Tara's report indicated that she and Willow had also spent at least a little bit of their time together doing other thing. Homework, talking, watching movies. Not much time, according to Tara's report, but time, nonetheless.
Walsh was well aware that Tara needed to spend this time with Willow in order to get the witch to trust her. Hell, Walsh had ordered Tara to do whatever it took.
Still... it was disturbing. Walsh wondered if Tara was slipping away from her. She had known it was a possibility, known that the connection Tara felt with Willow might distract Tara from her... duty. Yet Walsh had hoped it wouldn't happen, that Tara would remain as loyal to Walsh and the Initiative as she had been for the past two years.
Walsh shook her head. Pure speculation, that's all it was. There was nothing in the reports to suggest Tara was holding back, no evidence that Tara wasn't doing her job. All Walsh had to go on was her gut, and if she were perfectly honest, her gut had been wrong before.
If Tara's report was completely accurate, however, it was disappointing. While Walsh was somewhat relieved that the Slayer and her little band of malcontents didn't have as much power as she had once feared, they were still a threat. Still very, very dangerous. Yet, the less powerful the so-called "Scoobies" were, the better for the Initiative. And the worse for Maggie Walsh.
Walsh closed the report and walked out of her office. She wandered down the corridor, lost in thought about the redheaded witch. She needed Willow Rosenberg to be powerful, even though she feared it at the same time. She needed Willow Rosenberg to be strong, even though she knew it could doom them all. She needed Willow Rosenberg - period. Otherwise... otherwise she would have to turn somewhere else, somewhere she didn't want to go if she could help it.
She turned the corner and took out her card key, sliding it through the scanner and walking through the heavy steel door. She took out another card key, a secret card key, and swiped it through another scanner. The pressure-sealed door opened with a hiss, and Maggie Walsh entered Area 314.
*********************
TBC with Part 8: Dawn
"I feel like someone ran me down with a car, and then got out to give me a really great pair of shoes." - sassyeggsglobal
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Some tickle fun in there, alwayz love that! Then it got all uncomfortable but they just need a lil more time! I mean there isn't much more waiting 4 the actual hook-upage, Right? Can't wait 4 more! 
This part is so cute. Their bodies really want each other, but it does seem a little too soon. 
.
& 
Naked quad running? I would so like to see that, however I just got my jeans off, so now to the panties........
and 
smoochies are involved?)
. Willow asking Tara if they could cuddle was sweet. wonder what Maggie's needs Willow for. its cool that you've included room 314 
, she better not!
I thught it was soo cute when Will asked Tara to snuggle! 
