Still getting caught up on replies, but here's some from the last update. Glad you all seem to be enjoying this so far. Now don't go getting all spoiled by the fact that I'm updating again so quickly!
***mollyig - Captain Cardboard! LOL. Yeah, there's an interesting dynamic at work between Maggie and Tara, which will be explained a bit more in this next part.
***xita - Complications... definitely a theme here. Muahaha.
***mscheckmate - You trust me? Yeeee-haaaaah! Thanks! As for the skank on wheels bit... hehe.
***saule77 - Well, I can tell you that nothing will be exactly as in the show... but there will be similarities. But nothing after "Hush" is canon. As we go on, we'll be getting farther and farther, but be prepared for the occasional return to things familiar.
***Lola19 - A whole new hard drive? Yikes!!!
***barnabasvamp - You can't wait to see where this is going? Heck, I can't wait to see, either! Hehe.
***MissQuirky - Well, thanks! I hope it stays interesting.
***Thanatopsis - Hey, confusion is my middle name. Didn't I ever mention that?
***Grimaldi - Thanks!
***Tulipp - Ominous and creepy... definitely what I'm going for.
I always thought Maggie was very underutilized in S4 - made to be very one-dimensional. Personally, I always thought she should have been the real Big Bad.
***darkmagicwillow - Worry away, but never fear. Maggie will definitely... complicate things.
***XWickedXWiccan - Can't wait? Well, here you go! Now don't say I never gave you anything. *G*
***TromDeGrey - Droolworthy is definitely a theme here, too. I'm all about powerful women. Hehe.
***MadeinNZ - You ain't seen nothin' yet. Muahaha.
-BB
Title: The Truth of Deception - Part 4: The Revolution of the World
Author: blameburner
Feedback: Sure… Always a plus
Summary: AU, baby! So you all know by now... Tara is part of the Initiative. Plenty of questions remain, however, and the answers will be revealed... eventually.
Spoiler Warning: S4. Everything up to "Hush" is canon. After that, this story veers off. There will be some similarities to S4, but definite differences. Basically, if it happened after "Hush" on the show, assume it
didn't happen unless I mention it specifically. Also, there may be occasional references to dialogue from later episodes, but used in a different context.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, but oh how I wish they were! Joss, blah, blah, ME, blah, blah.
Rating: Generally R, but some NC-17 (maybe). Just be prepared.
Pairings: W/T, of course.
Angst: I'll say 6, simply because of the implications.
Extra Special Disclaimer: Remember, no matter how bad it gets, my stories always have a happy ending. Have faith.
Part 4
Tara had lain awake most of the night, thinking. Always thinking. Sometimes the noise in her head just grew so damn loud, there was nothing to do but think. She couldn't ignore it, couldn't push it away, couldn't even distract herself. All she could do was think.
The clock on her nightstand blinked at her. Slowly, methodically, angry red numbers flashed over and over again. 6:02. 6:02. 6:02. She shut her eyes, but the numbers were still there, tattooed to her eyelids. She couldn't ignore it. It was time to face the world.
She had worked out hard last night, probably too hard, and now her muscles were shouting at her in protest. But she had needed the release, needed to focus on something other than her thoughts. Normally she would have run a couple of miles, too, but she found that when her mind was as busy as it had been since her conversation with Walsh, running only made things worse. Running gave her too much time to think.
So she had poured all her energy into the punching bag, occupying her mind with the enemy she had invented to fight against, blocking imaginary blows with precision, retaliating with kicks and punches that - had the enemy been real - would have landed with deadly accuracy.
Now she was paying the price, but it didn't matter, she told herself. It hadn't been a complete escape, but it had kept the chaos in her mind down to a dull roar. It hadn't lasted, though, and even working out to the point of physical exhaustion hadn't allowed her to fall asleep for more than a few minutes at a time.
Tara got out of bed, having showered the night before, quickly throwing on some clothes and smoothing back her hair. She didn't have class until noon, but she couldn't stay in her room any longer. She had to get out, try and clear her mind. At least, that's what she told herself, knowing full well it wouldn't work.
She wandered through the campus, heading nowhere in particular. She watched the people around her, students with not a care in the world other than getting to class and what frat party they would go to that night. She wondered what it would be like to be that carefree, that at ease with life. She wondered...
No, she wouldn't allow herself to think of such things, for that was not her life. It did no good to wallow in daydreams that could never be. She had responsibilities that would not permit such things.
The weight of the world, she thought grimly.
And yet the world just keeps spinning, right here on my shoulders.
She had a job to do, and she would do it. Not just because it was what she was trained for, not just because people would die if she didn't, but because she had a debt to repay. To the Initiative. To Maggie Walsh.
Maggie Walsh had come into Tara's life when she needed her most, when she was scared and lost in the wake of her mother's death. She had been a ship with no compass, and Maggie had given her direction. She had been a lighthouse keeper with no lighthouse to tend, and Maggie had given her purpose. She had been a prisoner of her own life, and Maggie had given her an escape.
Tara thought of her father and brother, who's cruelty had known no bounds after her mother's death. Her mother had been the one thing keeping her family from terrorizing her completely, and when her mother died, that restraint had dissolved entirely. Her father and brother weren't really bad people, she knew, though it was much easier to think of them that way. Truth be told, they were simply as lost and scared as she was, as unhappy with their lives as she had been - it was just that they had a very, very nasty way of dealing with their pain and grief.
At seventeen, Tara had become the matriarch of the family, expected to take over the care of the household - which included the care of the men. She cooked, she cleaned, she sewed, she woke them up in the morning and made sure they were tucked in at night. She was really little more than a slave, and she knew it. Yet she had taken on the responsibility because it had been her duty, because there was no one else to do it. She suffered the emotional abuse and verbal attacks and did as she was told, because her loving heart simply wouldn't allow her to do anything less. And because she didn't have a choice.
And then, one night while walking home from the store, everything had changed. She didn't know it then, but it was her chance at a different life, a better life, and she took it. She had heard the screams, the anguished cries coming from the woods, and she had run towards it instead of away. There, she had found them, two men dressed completely in black, lying unconscious on the ground. A third man struggling in the arms of... something... something large and snarling and very, very hairy had the man pinned to the ground.
Instinct had taken over, and Tara reacted - with magic. In an instant, it was over. The beast lay unmoving, and the third man sat up, gasping for air and staring at her with disbelieving eyes. "Thank you," he had gasped. "You saved us." Tara had shaken her head. No, it wasn't possible. Tara MaClay was a scared, quiet, powerless girl who couldn't stand up to her own father let alone save someone's life.
Yet it was true. She had saved them. She had saved them with magic. And in the process, she had taken the first step to saving herself.
She helped the other two men to their feet, made sure they were going to be okay. They asked her to come with them, said that she needed to be debriefed. That's when she had gotten scared. She didn't know what being debriefed meant, but she knew it would mean she would be very late getting home, which would mean anger and yelling and... and she was already late.
So she had turned and ran, ran all the way home. And she had been right - there had been anger and yelling, and not-so-gentle reminders that she had to be disciplined. "Discipline," her father had said, "is the only thing keeping the demon at bay." Yes, the demon was bad, she had agreed. Yes, the demon needed to be disciplined, she had agreed. Yes, she knew her daddy loved her and was doing this for her own good, she had agreed.
The next morning, while her father and brother were at work, there had been a knock at the door. When she opened it, there had stood Maggie Walsh. Her savior.
Tara looked down at her watch. 8:25. She had been wandering around campus for more than two hours. She stopped and closed her eyes, tilting her head back to feel the early morning sun a little more fully on her face. It was a glorious morning, the air crisp and cool and the sun soft and warm. The contrast was intoxicating, and it soothed her. She inhaled deeply, letting the fresh breeze fill her lungs, and it steadied her.
She opened her eyes and resumed walking, playing over the conversation with Walsh in her head.
"You do plan on seeing the Rosenberg girl again, don't you?" Maggie had said.
"We need to know what she's capable of. This is exactly the kind of threat I sent you in to investigate." Willow, Tara thought, a small smile creeping up on her. She reached her hand up to her face, tracing the upward curve of her lips. It intrigued her, the involuntary reaction her body seemed to have any time she thought of the redhead. She wiped the smile from her face and tried again.
Willow. Another smile graced her lips. She laughed. It felt good to laugh.
What am I going to do? Tara wondered, guilt and worry pushing out the joy Willow's name had brought to her heart. She didn't want to lie, didn't want to pretend, didn't want to deceive. Not with Willow. Not with anyone, really, but especially not with Willow.
But would it really be so bad? she thought.
Willow is a witch. Willow has power. Willow could be a threat. No, that sounded false to Tara. Willow couldn't possibly be a threat. It wasn't in her. What was it Maggie had said about Willow?
"She's in one of my classes... Very bright girl, good student. I never would have guessed."Maggie had been surprised to learn Willow was a witch. Why? Because Willow was bright, a good student? No, that was too simple. Maggie was very well aware that it was the smart ones who could be the biggest threat, their intellect and thirst for knowledge pushing them towards dangerous exploration of the black arts. So why had Maggie been surprised?
Could it be because Maggie had seen a glimpse of what Tara had seen? Because Maggie had witnessed Willow's openness, Willow's compassion? Could Maggie have been surprised because her experience with Willow had shown her that Willow couldn't possibly be a threat?
If so, then why was Maggie so intent on Tara investigating Willow?
You're doing it again, MaClay, Tara chastised herself.
Thinking too much. Becoming paranoid. And for what? Because you think Willow's cute? Because you want to date her?Yet even as she berated herself, she knew better. Even as she belittled what she was already feeling for a girl she barely knew, she knew better.
It's because Willow makes you feel alive. Willow makes you feel connected. And for the first time in your life, you don't feel quite so alone. What am I going to do?Tara stopped by the campus center to get cup of coffee, hoping a shot of caffeine would clear her brain. Then she shuddered as the headline of the morning paper caught her attention.
UC Sunnydale student dies after mysterious neck rupture. Again. Her eyes narrowed and she could actually feel her resolve harden inside her body.
You're going to do your job, MaClay, because if you don't, this is what happens. People die. She knew the student dying because of a vampire attack wasn't her fault, at least not directly. There was an entire group of agents who were supposed to prevent that kind of thing. Yet it chilled, her just the same. It burdened her, just the same. She had the power to keep people from dying, and by the Goddess, that's what she was going to do.
Tara headed towards the literature hall, knowing Willow had an early class there. She would wait for Willow to get out of class, and she would make contact. That was her job. That was her duty. That was her responsibility. And the world just kept spinning.
******************
"Hey, W-Willow."
"Tara," Willow said, a soft smile curving her lips. She had been thinking about the blonde all morning. She didn't know her last name, but she had decided during breakfast that if she didn't see her on campus, she was going to go find her. A little hacking into the school's computer system, and a lot of looking through student files, and Willow knew she'd be able to find Tara.
"H-How is y-your ankle?" Tara asked, once again cursing her stutter.
Every time I get around her, she thought.
It's like I'm seventeen all over again."Oh, it's fine," Willow said dismissively. Truth was it still hurt quite a bit, but she wasn't about to tell Tara that. Somehow she knew the blonde would feel guilty about it, since it was the collision in the hallway that had caused it.
"That's g-good," Tara said. She was relieved to know Willow wasn't still in pain. She couldn't stand it if Willow were in pain.
"So how are you doing, with the whole freaky-monsters-chasing-us-and-wanting-to-cut-our-hearts-out thing?" Willow asked, wincing even as she said the words.
Nice one, Rosenberg. Way to bring up a pleasant subject. Hi, how are you, so how 'bout them Gentlemen?"Oh... uh..." Tara hesitated.
I wonder how much she knows? Does she know that there are vampires and demons running around Sunnydale? Should I say something? I mean, if she doesn't know, she should know, right? So she can protect herself?"I mean, there are plenty of other bizarre things that happen around here... but, but it's not like that happens everyday, you know, with the evil surgeons performing unauthorized, uh, surgery, and running around with, um, escaped mental patients... I mean, hello, they were wearing straight jackets! But... but..."
"Willow," Tara interrupted the redhead's utterly adorable babbling. Willow looked at her with eyes as wide as saucers. "Breathe."
Willow did, letting out a long breath. Then she smiled.
"At l-least they weren't v-vampires," Tara said.
Okay, apparently I decided to mention the vampire thing.
Willow stared at Tara in shock. "You, uh... know? About the vampires?" She couldn't believe it.
Finally, someone who doesn't chalk up all the vampire attacks as spontaneous neck rupture!"Well, yeah," Tara said. "It's k-kind of hard to m-miss."
Willow smiled brightly. Probably a little too brightly, but she couldn't help it. Tara smiled back.
"Wow! That's great! I mean, not in a -it's-great-that-there's-blood-sucking-fiends-running-around-Sunnydale kind of way, but in a hey-you-know-what-I-know-and-I-don't-have-to-worry-about-you way," Willow rambled.
"You would w-worry about me?" Tara asked, her heart skipping a little beat.
"Um, well, yeah?" Willow said uncertainly.
Way to go, Rosenberg. Let's freak out the pretty blonde completely. Wait a second. Pretty blonde? Where is this coming from? Willow began babbling in order to distract herself from her thoughts.
"I mean, Sunnydale is a dangerous place, and a girl can't just go running around at night by herself, cuz she might as well be running naked through the quad yelling, 'Here vampire, vampire! Look at my nice, long, pulsing neck that's entirely too bitable!'"
Oh my God! Did I just say Tara's neck was bitable? "Um... I, uh... like last night! You could have been killed! What were you doing running around campus by yourself like that?"
"Oh, well..." Tara said. "I w-was looking f-for y-you."
"You were there looking for me?" Willow asked, not daring to hope it was true.
"I thought m-maybe we could do a spell. Make people talk again?" Tara covered. Sure, she had wanted to try the spell, but that, of course, wasn't the only reason she had gone searching for Willow.
If anything had happened to you... Tara thought. "I-I'd seen you in the, the group. The W-Wicca group? You were... you were different than them. I mean, they didn't seem to know..."
"What they were talking about?" Willow finished for Tara with a laugh.
Tara grinned. "I think if they saw a w-witch they would, um, run the other way."
Well, Miss Woman Power Shrine didn't exactly run away, but I bet she peed her pants, Tara thought wickedly.
"How long have you been practicing?" Willow asked.
"Always. I mean, since I, um, was little," Tara said. She suddenly felt like she wanted to tell the redhead her entire life story. "My... my mom was too. She had a lot of power. Like you."
"Oh. I'm not, I, uh... I don't have much in the way of power," Willow protested. Willow found that she desperately wanted to tell Tara all about Buffy and the Scoobies. She wanted to tell the blonde everything. "Really I mean, most of my potions turn out soup. Besides... spells going array, friends in danger, I'm definitely nothing special."
"No, you are," Tara responded, her voice strong and sure. Tara might not have been certain of much at that moment, but the fact that Willow was special was something she knew with every fiber of her being.
Willow's smile was blinding, as was Tara's when she smiled back.
"So... do you wanna maybe... I don't know... try a spell? Sometime?" Willow asked nervously.
Please say yes, please say yes."Definitely," Tara said happily. The thought of spending more time with Willow was enough to make Tara do a little happy dance right there in the middle of the commons. The thought that this was a good development in terms of her mission never even crossed her mind. All she could think of was spending time with Willow.
"Cool," Willow responded, breathing a little internal sigh of relief. Then a thought occurred to her. "Hey, I don't even know your last name."
"It's MaClay," Tara said softly.
Tara MaClay. Willow rolled the name around in her head.
What a lovely name, she thought.
*************************
Maggie Walsh flipped through the report again. Agent Riley Finn had given it to her that morning, and it confirmed her worst fear. And her greatest hope.
Buffy Summers was the Slayer.
She had suspected as much when Riley had reported to her the night before. He had told her of his encounter with what she now knew were the Gentlemen - fairy tale monsters, of all things. He had also told her about seeing Buffy there. Well, more than seeing Buffy - fighting alongside Buffy, watching her kill the monsters with speed and agility like he had never seen before. She had strength like ten of the Initiative's best soldiers combined, he had said.
Walsh had her suspicions then, but she needed confirmation. She advised Riley to go back and talk to Buffy, to find out what she was. He, of course, was only too happy to oblige. Buffy was, after all, his girlfriend, and he was worried about her.
Convenient how that worked out, Walsh thought.
No, the fact that Riley and Buffy were dating was not something she had encouraged, having thought Buffy was a mindless twit who's only concern in life was fashion. But now... it turned out Agent Riley Finn was dating Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It would certainly make it easier for Walsh to keep tabs on the Slayer, now that she knew who Buffy was.
To Riley, of course, it would seem like nothing more than his concerned commander's interest in his happiness. Yet Walsh would be able to use Riley's relationship with Buffy to her advantage, without Riley even having a clue. Then there was the matter of Willow Rosenberg.
Buffy Summers was the Slayer - and Willow Rosenberg, the witch, was her friend.
Coincidence? Walsh knew better. There was no way those two girls could not know about each other's powers. Thus, Walsh concluded, they must be working together. On her own, Willow bore watching. Add her relationship with the Slayer, and Willow demanded it.
The Slayer and the witch. A very powerful witch. Tara hadn't said so directly, but Walsh knew. She pursed her lips as she thought about her best student. Tara MaClay was Walsh's greatest resource. Strong, powerful, dedicated, compassionate. Yet all those qualities also could one day make Tara dangerous to her. Yes, Walsh would have to keep Tara on a tight leash, making sure to play on Tara's greatest weakness - her lack of self-worth.
Tara was amazingly confident on the outside, but on the inside... her father and brother had done quite a number on her. Truth was, Walsh liked Tara, a lot. In a way she had become something of a surrogate mother to Tara after she joined the Initiative. She had spent months building Tara back up, showing her how strong she really was, how special.
Yet Walsh knew at the very core, no matter how hard Tara had worked and no matter how far she had come, she was still extremely insecure. Tara was most deeply insecure with those who she was closest to, which in the last two years had only been Walsh and... Sarah. But Sarah was long gone, and what was important to Walsh was that Tara, for all her remarkable traits, had a weakness. A weakness Walsh could use, and had used, to her advantage. Tara's insecurity kept her loyal, ever mindful of her duty to the Initiative, and to Walsh.
Walsh smiled. Now there was the matter of Willow Rosenberg. Walsh knew that Tara had felt a connection with Willow, and that pleased her in a way. It also made her nervous. Walsh didn't know what Willow's
proclivities were, but she knew Tara's. There was a good chance that Tara would fall for Willow, if she hadn't already started to fall for her. Which was good and bad. Good, because it would mean Tara would want to stay close to Willow. Bad, because... well, Walsh knew from Tara's relationship with Sarah just how intensely loyal Tara could be to someone she loved. Yet Sarah had burned her, and now the only person Tara had any loyalty to was Walsh.
Yes, she would definitely have to keep Tara on a tight leash. Otherwise, Tara might become a liability far sooner than Walsh had hoped, which would be unfortunate.
***********************
TBC with Part 5: Objects In Motion
"I feel like someone ran me down with a car, and then got out to give me a really great pair of shoes." - sassyeggsglobal
Login
FAQ
Search
Can't wait to see where you go with this. 
I'm loving it! 
See me being large with the WHOO & the HOO here! I am sooooooooo loving this!! Twists and turns abound and Confident Super Agent Tara is just so 
worthy. Can't wait for more!
Too Late!