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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 1:48 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2005 2:58 am
Posts: 134
Location: Portland, OR
I reread all of these when the post popped back up, and amazingly found evidence of myself on the board from long, long ago. Very entertaining.

Not as entertaining as all of your stories -- but... still...

These are great, a ton of fun. Your W/Ts shine through as always.

Futopia is my personal favorite, and seems to be a favorite of a fair amount of people.

I love the So-Real Network too, although that doesn't seem to get as much love. Amen to W/T getting down and pissing off some demons.

Pacific Tides Television is cute, and it's nice to imagine Tara in a tan and a bikini -- also, having her with a kind of peace in the water seems like a total Tara quality to me.

The Living Woman Network is super interesting as well..

Okay, I just think the whole concept and execution of this is excellent and fun, and you've done a great job.

M.

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:33 am 
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3. Flaming O
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Location: Land of midnight sun and naked blondes.
MOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMORE!!!!!
:bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce :bounce >:)

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 7:42 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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Safuega: I am sooooo glad that you approved of my deranged mind. I am hoping that you’ll see your favorite show come up soon (for now…before the voting we’ll have Futopia and Nine West) Glad to have you in the Café! I’ll try to drop you some more quotes!

JujuDeRoussie: I am very happy to see you here at the Café! Feel free to get a coffee (decaf if you don’t drink the real stuff), put up your feet, and relax. Soon there will be audience participation…and fun for all!

Chance: Welcome back to the fold! If you like Futopia, then you’re going to be a little happier this week. I have a Futopia episode on the fire right now…Stay tuned!

Reallybigpinapple: You want more? YOU-GOT-IT. For you…the world!


Channel Five:
The Pactides Channel
Episode Title: The House that Keaka Built



The idea of going down into the gully had been a fairly solid one...a little hot-headed-seat of-the-pantsy …but solid.

Okay…so there had been a few setbacks…with the stifling humidity heat even for a local girl like me…and the drug lords with their gigantic guns…it was like we had stepped out of some teen beach show and into some prime-time episode of an adult crime drama.

But things were getting back on track now right Kali?…Things are looking up…right?

I let out a breath, glanced up at the lush ceiling of tree branches, and kept plodding forward.

If I tell her we’re…sort of… lost… she is going to come unglued….

It didn’t help that Rosey was already blenching and flenking at every single sound that wasn’t made by them.

Each time a gecko cricked or a Mynah bird tee-onged she would reach out and grab me like she’d just heard a giant man in a hockey mask pull the start chain on a chainsaw.

Keeericktck

“What-was-that? Kali…what?” Rosey whispered rapidly.

“Gecko.” I said evenly…patting at the vice-like grip she had on my upper arm. She lightened her hold a few ratchets and I used my free hand to slip my fingers in between my arm and her. I twined my fingers in hers and resolved to hold her hand for the rest of the journey (wherever that was to). It seemed the safer bet for my already tenderized arm.

“Okay…that tree…with the two big swirly arms looks familiar. We’re almost there.” I said…hating to lie to her so blatantly, but it was better than completely making this careen from a crime drama into an actual drama in a matter of milliseconds.

I had to find this cabin… and fast.

What was that old poem-song crazy Uncle Keaka always told us kids about his cabin?

“What's the song?” Rosey asked, bringing my thoughts back to the here and now. I realized we had been rather silent for the last few minutes.

“Hmm?” I asked. Not sure what creature she was listening to now. She had stopped and pulled me to a stop as well…looking at me.

“You’re humming.” She said, with her first small smile in over an hour.

Taking this stop as a cue to rest, I sat the backpack down on the ground and sat down on the convenient bend of an older tree. It was as good a place as any. There was a small moving thread of water nearby…a tiny tributary from the waterfall. Rosey sat down on the rock directly across the small clearing from me.

“I’m sorry.” I said.

Had I been humming?”

“Don’t be sorry. It was nice….soothing…”

“I’m trying to remember an old childhood song. My father’s brother used to sing it to us when he’d come up out of the gully to visit.”

“He lived down here?”

“He was kind of a hermit.” I said, trying to think of the words to his song.

They were as elusive as the location of his cabin.

(Something about a river…an old lady drinking… and a Mynah bird…a game of some kind…)

The song was on the very tip of my brain, but infuriatingly would not reveal itself.

Tookah! Teeeeeeomg! One Mynah bird insisted above us, out of our line of sight.

Took took….Tee Teeeeeong! Another Mynah answered from a mysteriously close proximity. Rosey no longer seemed scared…but rather…fascinated… by the birds.

“It’s so funny. They sound like they are sitting right on top of us.” Rosey said.

“It’s the canopy. Everything sounds closer under here.”

“Do they bite?” Rosey suddenly asked as an after thought.

“Only if they like you. They are mischievous….”

Bling. Just like that.

Like a light coming on in a dark room to reveal a grand piano being sat at and played by none other than the immortal Burt Bacharach …the song came to me.

The truest story eva heard
Is nevah trust a Mynah Bird.

Dis olda lady went foa walk
Her Mynah bird…he starta talk
He say “da rivah…treasure be”
And so she follow him to see.

At da rivah she no think
She bendah down to take a drink
Old lady turned into a tree
Foreva look for treasure be.

Da tricky Mynah on her back
He finely got da perch he lack.

So when a Mynah to your ear
Say he know dat treasure near
Pretend as if you nevah heard
And nevah trust a Mynah bird.


I stood up slowly…turning to look at the branch I’d been sitting on.

It did. It did look like a really old woman bent over the small rivulet. I spun around, trying to get my bearings.

The Old Lady Tree. That meant the cabin was west of where we stood.

“Kali?” Rosey asked warily. Poor thing. She’d been watching me turn in circles like a mad woman.

“Rosey!” I breathed, most likely smiling like a loon as I swept her into a fervent embrace and kissed her soundly on the lips. “You-are-brilliant!” I said, watching the color rise into her cheeks.

She stared at me, thunderstruck as we drew apart.

“Could you tell me what I did so I can do it again... if need be?” Rosey said, matching my own giddy smile with her own.

“Just be you.” I said, kissing her again for good measure.

TBC….

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:23 am 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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Location: Shoalhaven,NSW, Australia
Oh lovely, one of my favourites. It's nice to see Kali & Rosey again.

Sorry I missed commenting on the previous updates - busy, you know - I'm about to go back and make sure I haven't missed any in my fevered rush to read the latest. :blush

Keep 'em coming (I'm not going to change that just because... you KNOW what I mean)

thanks Wiccachicca

edited to say 'blenching' and 'flenking' ???? You've enriched our language with two new (and improved!) words - everytime I think of Willow ... um, sorry, Rosey... 'blenching and flenking' I just crack up.

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 5:47 am 
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3. Flaming O
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Hey, just wanted to let you know I love these stories, I started reading this thread for the first time yesterday and stayed up till 3.30am to get to page 36 (and surprisingly I didn’t feel too bad at work this morning!). I think Futuopia, Pacific Tides and Nine West are my favourite but it keeps changing around .

More!


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:59 am 
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19. Yummy Face
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Location: Kaskinen, Finland, citizen of Kitopia
Yay for great update-y goodness... Love all tohse stories... Pactides is my favorite at the moment...

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:11 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:54 am
Posts: 40
Location: Los Angeles
Spells42: You like blenching and flenking hmm? Well I tell you. It took a lot of English Major anti-serum to allow those words to pass onto paper. I figured that Flinching and balking wouldn’t cut it…not “Rosey” enough.

what_we_do_is_secret Welcome to the fold, new reader. I’m impressed that you read it all in one night! I can tend to be a little crazy-causing when read linearly. I hope that work treats you with kid gloves (not gloves made from actual kids mind you though I find that gloves made from the skins of baby animals doesn’t entice me much either…but I digress…welcome…enjoy….)

Zampsa1975Welcome to the Café. Make sure to grab a coffee drink and relax for a while. The ride is going to get a little bumpy for both our girls as well as the readers. Very happy to have you here!


***

Channel Four- The Futopia Channel in association with Hungry Puppy Industries Presents:

Fear the Light

Episode: In a Bedlam, Hurry-Scurry, Harum-Scarum, Topsy-Turvy…


The “real world” came to Taryn like a lover in the morning…hazy…warm…quiet.

At first she wondered if, perhaps, she had gone blind after a night of completely illogical madness. Maybe she had died sometime in the night and this darkness was her penance…not for doing bad deeds throughout her life per se…but for not doing enough in the living world to warrant one eternity or another.

Even as she had sifted her way through the panic of non-sight and had begun to accept this… nothingness… as her atonement, she caught the almost stealth whir of an air-conditioning system.

With modern technology as an anchor for her thoughts (since surely purgatory did not generally come standard with central air) Taryn mentally ventured into her surroundings.

She could feel the press of her weight against a soft surface of a mattress and eventually the silky brush of high thread count sheets against her bare legs.

She was alive...

Alive or in one of the swankiest hells she had ever heard of.


She realized, a little too late and embarrassing for her own taste, that her eyes were closed.

She opened them to see the dimly-lit room.

Winna Gunn’s bedroom.

What in the Sam Hill are you doing in Winna Gunn’s bedroom, and more to the point…why don’t you REMEMBER any of it, Mack???

“Well, hello there. I didn’t expect you’d need another dose for hours yet, Dove.” The man’s dulcet accent seemed familiar to her, yet from a far away dream.

He neared the bed, drawing his image close enough for her to see in the dark. A pale face with even paler hair haloing it. Handsome, hard angles. He was smiling down at her, needle in hand.

Despite her grogginess, her cop’s instinct took hold. A stranger with a needle, even with a smile, was still a stranger with a needle. She blinked at him…trying to clear her thoughts.

“Who are you?” She asked.

“I’m Doctor Blood…Bill…to my friends. I’ve been seeing to your…condition.”

“Where’s Winna?” Taryn asked. It was a reasonable question since it WAS Winna’s bed she was laying in. She kept her gaze on the needle, quite aware that he kept his smile steady on her. It set off a dozen other little cop alarms that she tried not to let him see.

No one smiles continuously, Mack. It’s the sign of a Cheshire Cat or a very guilty man.

“She just stepped out for a bit…for some air…It’s been rather stressful to see you so…incapacitated.”

He’s waffling.

“Well. Could you go and get her?” Taryn said. He raised his brows, barely a glimpse in the dim light.

“Of course I will…after your shot…”

“Shot of what?”

“It’s an antibacterium of sorts…a cocktail of this and that…” He said, stepping forward.

Taryn smiled at him then. It was a smile that stopped him cold.

“Dr. Blood…I may be half-naked, and mildly off my game right now…but if you so much as take another step at me with that needle…your name will take on a whole new…and VERY literal meaning.”

Her words were slightly slurred at the ends, but the threat was no less formidable. Dr. Blood didn’t move forward. He kept smiling…that damned smile. He spread his hands in defense…not quite as placating with a needle sandwiched between his fingers like a sabered cigarette.

“I’m only here to help you.”

“You want to help me? Bring Winna Gunn in here….NOW.

[hr]

BZZZZZZT.

Wade had been dreaming of a fantastical world where he was, in fact, the hero of the story.

He had been shooting into a congregation of vamps and evil fiends with a crossbow in one hand.

And holding onto a very non-wolfy Ryder with the other.

“Oh Wade…you are AMAZING!” Dream Ryder pandered.

“I know, Baby. Just-you-wait.” Dream Wade said around a cigar…(unlit of course since it might trigger his asthma.)

BZZZZZZT.

Dream Ryder ran her hand into his partially open shirt…rubbing his chest while he picked off vampires one-handedly….

“Oh Wade! You are soooo much cooler than Winna is!” She cooed into his ear. “You’re like a mustang…a bronco….a…”

BZZZZZZT.

Werewolf Ryder…perturbed by Wade’s cell phone rattling against the coffee table, slammed herself against the cage bars with an unyielding fury. She roared insistently and tried to bite through the bars in order to eat the offending item.

Ripped from his dream, Wade fumbled for his phone.

“Hmmm hullo?” He asked in a sleep-muddled voice.

“Wade. It’s Gunn. Wake up and listen to me.” Winna’s tone brought him upright on the couch.

“What’s wrong, Boss?”

“I need you to do exactly what I say. Exactly HOW I say.”

“You got it.” He said, standing up. His dream all but a fairly nice memory.

“Wade. Go to your terminal. Initiate the Hegira program.”

Wade chuckled and rubbed the sleep from his eyes with his free hand. He had though she had said the Hegira program….She wouldn’t initiate the Hegira program because they hadn’t tested it out yet…there were glitches. He didn’t like glitches…Glitches get the hired help hurt. HE was the hired help….

“Wade? Are you listening to me or babbling off in your head?”

“Babbling off.” He said.

Hegira program.” Winna said.

[Crap]

“Gotcha.” He said out loud.

“It has to be perfectly timed. I’m four minutes out. I’ll be coming in the South Gate.”

[3:59, 3:58, 3:57…]

“I love a deadline as much as the next lackey.” He said, already moving past Ryder’s cage towards the center of the room where the terminals were. “How many guests should I set the table for?”

“Four…including one party crasher.” Winna said and hung up.

[3:48, 3:47…]

“I love you too, Miss Gunn.” Wade muttered to himself. He slid into his terminal chair and pulled his monitor on his head…typing the air rapidly.

“Okay ladies and gentlemen…and occasionally furry hotties…now I get to earn my “All-Powerful Minion” merit badge.

[3:31, 3:30, 3:29…]

“Hey…I got another three or so minutes or so, Winna…how bout I cook up a little something…maybe boil and egg or design a video game…” He snarked while he typed.

“Computer…this is Big Poppa Wade…Code: LV426 Alpha.” The computer pinged recognition.

“Initiate Program Hegira.” He said. “In two minutes and fifty seven seconds.”

The computer…not one for pomp and circumstance, pinged again and began the countdown.

“Remind me to program you with a personality if I live through this.” He said taking the monitor band off his head.

The computer pinged again.

“Smartass.” He groused at the terminal before standing up to prepare for the end of the world.

TBC…

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:44 pm 
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19. Yummy Face
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Yay for another great update-y goodness...

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:23 pm 
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14. Lesbo Street Cred

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Location: Middle 'o the middle, U.S.A.
I feel a little like a young cousin who has been caught rummaging through an older relatives closet, trying on shoes that are far too big.

Please ignore the ridiculous hat. Terribly sorry about the mess on the floor. I promise I will put everything back exactly the way it was. I've just been hanging out here while you were gone. Maybe pretending to be an established board member... just pretending mind you, until you came back.

I promise to be a good little kitten if you will please just turn that lovely CC telly back on. The one with the pretty ladies and crazy-cool dialogue and plot insanity on it. And if it talks about fingering summer squash then I'm all for it....

Woohoo! Cataclysmic updates!!!

- Boschi

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:20 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Too short! Both of them!

Consider me forever on the edge of my seat.

M.

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:49 pm 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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Hello :)


*takes a cup of Cappuccino (hope it's ok, I don't like coffee :blush ), goes over the chairs and takes a sit*

*watches the screen*

Oh! maybe I should trade my cappuccino for something fresher.. like iced tea or somethin'...

*gets up, goes takes an iced tead instead of her cappuccino, goes back to watch the episode*

*opens her eyes wide*

Willow and Tara in the water....

*gulps*

*stays ready for the action to.. come.*

Silly guys come on the screen in search of nasty drug and cut the action from even beginning.

*yells at the screen*

"Stupid Jerks! Let me show ou what I do with your gun and your bag! You're never walk straight after that!"

*calms down and watch the end*

*claps*

Men in white coats enter the viewing room...

"No wait not now!! I want more! Please let me stay!! want more!!!"

*follows nicely (forced) the men who gives her some blue and pink pills*

*muters to herself*
"I'll be back for the next episode, they can't keep me from that"


:)
Thanks,

Friendly,

Julia

ETA: that's weird I thought I had posted this feedback before the chapter of Fear the Light...
Huh so about this one...

*bites her nails while trying to hide behind her scarf*

"hurry Winna hurry hurry!!!!"

"good girl Taryn, good cop"

*keeps hiding behind her scarf and biting her nails and waiting anxiously for Winna to arrive!*

Thanks :)

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Last edited by JujuDeRoussie on Sun Mar 09, 2008 9:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 6:32 am 
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3. Flaming O
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Location: Land of midnight sun and naked blondes.
MOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMORE >:)

Ah... You's gone and continued mah fav'rite shows... That's just migthy gentlewomanly of yah, now, yah hear? If I might be so bold as to ask for a continuation of that nice program of the old west that would be just dahling...
In regards to them other programmes:

MOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMORE :bounce

Stalker-y lurrve, M

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:08 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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** Appears like a genie in a puff of smoke **

You wish for Nine West? Then Nine west you shall have. I merely have to...jot a little something down first...heh.

Prepare! Tremble!

:kgeek (okay...this icon sooooo did not inspire the wrath and fear that I meant to.) (sigh)

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:04 am 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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*pokes her head in*

"Nine West? Did I hear Nine West? Yeah?"

*escapes the Mad House and hides behing a couch*

*waits there 'till Nine West begins*


:kitty

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"Joie est mon caractère, C'est la faute à Voltaire; Misère est mon trousseau, C'est la faute à Rousseau." Gavroche. Victor Hugo, Les Misérables (chap. XV)


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:02 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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Channel Nine West

Episode: Reunion



The rain was coming down harder than before.

Shepherd loved the rain.

She loved the way it cast a grey veil over the world that allowed her to get much closer to her intended targets than any other means. A person couldn’t believe everything they see in the rain. It made them second guess themselves, make stupid decisions likely to get them under her guns that much quicker.

They never see her coming in the rain.

Shepherd watched the Flatbush Inn from beneath an awning across the street. She flicked her green gaze over the idiots who scampered about from storefront to storefront,, trying to get out of the downpour with their hands up over their heads…like that would keep them dry.

All of them too dumb and impatient to wait until a lull in the rain before moving on...


To drive her believe home, a mother hurried out into the rain, the hem of her dress dragging in the mud, one hand holding a completely senseless parasol too thin to do much of anything. Holding on to her other hand, a wailing boy in short pants, His skinny legs too short to do much but fumble and drag in the mud.

Shepherd didn’t dwell on them long, though the boys wailing made her grit her teeth. She brought her attention back to the Hotel across the street. Most of the curtains in the front rooms were drawn shut…all but two.

When a drunk came lumbering out of the saloon doors two buildings away, she gave him the briefest notice. He was no danger to her. Hell…the saloon post was doing more to hold him up than his own feet.

He set his hat back on his head to get a better look at the rain.


A light-haired patron of the Hotel, one of the two open windows on the third floor, seemed to be watching the man. Shepherd held her breath. That silhouette was familiar, even under the protection of the rain, Maclay’s profile was unmistakable.

Had she been standing there the whole time? Sure she had. It was what she did. The woman had an uncanny knack for knowing when trouble was coming.


So she was sure to know that Shepherd was on her way.

Not quite thinking, her heart pounding rage in her ears, she stepped off the landing and into the rain. She let her anger drag her several slogging steps into the mud before she pulled herself short. Going in full on Treena Maclay would get her nothing but killed…and dead women couldn’t exact revenge, now could they?

Shepherd stared up at the hotel, not lifting her brim high enough for the person in the window to see her face. Rain would do the rest of the work of hiding her.

She knew she had to move soon, or risk being recognized. Instead of going back the way she came, she walked quickly and evenly under the awning of the hotel.

Under the awning, and right into the Flatbush Inn.

The place was just shy of a shanty. The furniture in the lobby looked threadbare and tired.

Flatbush’s finest establishment I’ll bet.

“Help you?” A bored looking man asked from behind the counter. Shepherd fixed her gaze on him and realized only after he’d blanched and dropped his eyes from her that she had still been thinking murderous thoughts about Maclay.

“I need a room.” She said, and slapped down more money on the counter than he had probably ever seen at one time. “On the third floor.”

“Yes’m. “ The man said, slipping the money off the counter before anyone could see it… or rob him of it. He lifted a key from beneath the counter, still not willing to meet her eyes. He held up the key to her.

“Three-o-nine.” He said.

“And if anyone asks…I’m not here. I was never here.” She tapped the key on the counter to emphasize her words.

“I see. Any luggage going up, Miss Anderson…?” He prompted, pulling a false name out of the air like he did it every day.

“No. I’ll see myself up.” She said and left him to look after wondrously her as she ascended the stairs.

**


At the third floor landing Shepherd didn’t stop or hesitate at any of the doors. She moved quickly through the hall, hands on her pistols, tensely waiting for Treena Maclay to come barreling out of one of the doors, guns shouting.

Nothing.


Seconds passed as she found the door marked 309, keyed in, swiftly swept herself inside and closed the door behind her. She leaned against it…her heart throwing a brass band in her chest.

Only Maclay made her feel this terrified…this alive…this close to death.

It had been a long time since she had felt anything…anything at all.

She peeled out of her long jacket , but kept her holsters and guns. She would wait a few minutes, and then make rounds of the third floor rooms until she came across Treena and her companion.

She didn’t much care for the idea of killing a stranger. Even though Jas had made it clear that he wanted them both dead for crossing him. Still…Treena’s new girl had done nothing to Shepherd…except put up sides with the enemy.

But if she stood in the way of Shepherd’s exacting revenge, then there would be no choice but to kill her too.

"accompanied by a Redhead…skilled with a gun…" That’s what Jas had wired her.

Treena always did have a thing for the red-haired ones.


Shepherd steeled herself. She turned, tipped off her hat, and pressed her cheek against the cool surface of the wood, listening for any movement in the hall.

Nothing.


She put her hat back on, turned the knob, palm on the butt of her gun, and pulled open the door.

She pulled up short, but not before she came face-to-muzzle with the mighty end of two silver pistols. Her fingers had tightened on the butts of her guns in response, but she was no idiot. She knew that Treena had the drop on her and that any move would send her that much quicker to her imminent death.

“Hello, Treena.” Shepherd said evenly.

“Hello, Willie.” Treena said with an equally stoic expression. “You’re getting sloppy.”

“Sloppy? You left me for dead. I was dead for years…I’m a ghost to you…”

“Ghosts don’t leave water trails down the hall.” Treena said. They locked gazes. “And I didn’t leave you for dead. What happened was an accident. It was something I’ve been trying years to atone for. I’m glad to see you alive…” She sounded genuine enough, but Shepherd wasn’t about to be bought so cheaply. She found a wry smile.

“You didn’t try too long. I hear you have a new little spitfire in your life.” She watched Treena’s own cool smile tick once. Shepherd had hit a mark without even raising her guns. “Jas wants her dead. He wants you dead too. That’s why I’m here. To kill you both…” She pressed, hoping to dig it in a little deeper.

“Well then I guess we’re lucky Treena is gonna kill you first.” Came a tight, angry female voice from the hallway. Shepherd saw Treena’s expression tighten even more. She didn’t take her eyes off hers.

“I told you to stay in the room.” Treena said. Her voice sounded unsure…worried

A redhead stepped around behind Treena with pistols drawn on Shepherd now as well.

“I figured you might need a little back up.” The woman wearing her face said.

Shepherd felt a heavy, thuggish hand squeeze her chest and without regard for Treena’s guns, she balked backwards into the room.

Wynne.

In a very unusual moment of dizzy gracelessness, Shepherd stepped over her own feet, and went crashing down on her backside, legs akimbo. Her head snapping back, losing her hat. She couldn’t take her gaze from the face of the woman behind Treena. Her face.


Wynne…

Her sister was alive….


TBC…

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:16 pm 
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19. Yummy Face
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Yay for another great update-y goodness...

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:43 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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DUDE!!! This was such a great update.

OMG! Shepherd is Wynne's sister?!!

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 12:29 am 
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3. Flaming O
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EEEExcellent...

So is Willie Willow's alter ego from from Doppelgangland, or is such a suggestion an insult to your very fine imagination?

Brilliant as always. Only you could hold my attention for this long without smut, you know...

MOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMORE :bigkiss

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 3:43 am 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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Location: Shoalhaven,NSW, Australia
So happy to see a couple of updates here that I didn't know about - until now anyway. But my brain can't cope with NineWest tonight - it's been a baaaaaaad day - and there's just too many Willows for me. I think a little re-reading is called for. Don't both sisters remember the other?

Tarryn is awake - and also awake to the nasty Dr Blood. I can't help wonder why he cured her if he's just gonna kill her. Maybe Willow (sorry, see aforementioned, re brain) has been around too much until now? I wonder what the Hegira program will do.

Can't wait to find out. & maybe see some progress with PacTides, pretty please?
Thanks
Anne

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 5:06 am 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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Hello :)

I knew it!! I knew it!!! Does it has something to do with why Treena didn't want to say I don't know what to Wynn on their way to Jas?
For sure, as soon as you talked about the scar on her face, Willie cowarding and getting her lil'sis killed, I knew it was pretty Wynn.
Well it runs in the family to be left for dead... LOL

Now though, I can't wait for the next chaper; This one is getting me more hoocked than the others. :blush

Thank you. :)

Friendly,
Julia

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:57 pm 
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Hmmm, how should I put this delicately...damn you, woman! Here I am all gun ho about Futopia and now you deliver Nine West in all its western glory of revenge and women with guns and I'm panting for more Nine West having thoroughly forgotten Futopia!

Okay, okay, I'll get a grip and will try to wait for the next helping of your brilliant madness. I swear, if Futopia is deliriously funny and quirky, Nine West is a totally unbelievably delicious in its wrath and righteousness. And Tara with guns...wow!

Finally, so I said I'd go and read every story line again, but man, it's a damn herculean task! I think I need to quit my job just so I could read through all the shows. Say, has the thought of putting up previous 'Seasons' in a convenient DVD set crossed your mind? Think about it...it's just a thought. ;-)

Oh okay, so turns out I was lying when I said 'finally', anyway, how about merchandise tied to the shows? How or where do I get my 'all powerful minion' t-shirt? how about the 'boss' and 'lackey' mugs? oooh, Winna's shades??

Hmmm, I think your quirkiness is contagious judging from that last weird merchandise point I just made. I'm going to end here now.

Great stuff you mad genius! More, more, more!

Safuega

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Last edited by Safuega on Tue Apr 15, 2008 4:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 5:11 am 
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3. Flaming O
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yeah im totally smitten with nine west now, theres just some about the guns, espcially the mental image i have of willow, naked, guns.....scuse me


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:48 am 
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9. Gay Now
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Location: Rochester, NY
YAY! You're back!!!

I love it! I love it! I love it! I heart Pactides! I heart Futopia! I heart Ninewest!

Go Willa, kick ass and take names! You go Kali, finding a hiding place in the jungle (nekkid swimming ? No more nekkid swimming? :aww)... and Dag, twin sis is *alive*! This interaction is going to be... interesting!

I am so glad to see this back.

**smooooooch!**

db

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:42 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Nobody puts Pippa on the second page.

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:13 pm 
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2. Floating Rose

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I spent the last three days reading this, and i love it. :party Especially the Futopia Channel, Pactides and Nine West.
Hope to see this updated. :blush


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 7:21 am 
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2. Floating Rose
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Location: Iowa, USA
I also just stumbled across this story (stories?) and I have to say.... I'm in love with each and every single one of them! I've just completed a marathon of reading and I'm hungry for more!

Please, wicca... make me the happiest woman in the world and update soon? :pray


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 12:25 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey
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Location: Hiding In The Shadows...
Wicca! It is soooooooo long. I decided to see who all was updating since the last time I was here (many moons ago) and saw there are several channels I have missed out on. I have not read them yet, but I can beg you to continue updating nonetheless though, right?:smash Take Care!

Mikaelah

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:44 am 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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More please? I'm not above becking...ahem...begging.

Ruth

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"The Wide World," said the Rat. "And that doesn't matter."


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:03 pm 
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2. Floating Rose

Joined: Sat Jun 24, 2006 9:19 am
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Location: Scotland
*BANG*

*BANG*

*BA-----CRASH*

Oops... there goes the digibox..... 'sigh'

Don't think it was working anyways.

Or maybe my TV mag has it wrong??

Hmmm.....

*looks left* *looks right*

Anyone else know when the next show's supposed to be on?


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:49 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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Channel Four: The Late Shift Comedy Hour- Sponsored by Hungry Puppy Donuts

Chapter: This First, Fine Rapture

:A Slayer’s Tale



The Carnival came softly, unfolding dimensions like a sneaky, creeping flower opening…spreading…shifting itself across the empty field and all around us. I’m a Slayer. I don’t get spooked very often… but this place had done its demony best to keep me forever trapped and crazy in a funhouse the last time I was here.

It tried to kill everyone I know and love.

It brought rubber rats and little carousel horses to life.

And worst of all….it ruined Date Night.

So…yeah….when you look at it that way…I kinda hated this place with the fiery passion of a thousand suns.

“Let’s go.” Tara said, anxious to get inside the belly of the beast and rescue Willow from its depths.

“Hold on. We need a plan.” Spike said, being infuriatingly reasonable and just a little too smug for my taste.

“I have a plan. I say you go that way,” I pointed back towards town. “And we’ll go this way.” I thumbed over my shoulder at the Carnival.

“Ha. Ha. I helped you and you can’t stand that, can you?”

“No…I can’t stand you.” I said.

“Plan, you two…we need a plan…” Dawn reminded us as she came up next to me. She was right. There would be time to drive a stake in Spike’s black heart later.

“Go in…break things…get Will…save day…” I offer.

“Ahh…the Slayer eight-syllabled plan of attack.” Spike drawled.

Did I mention that I hated him…a lot?

“Okay…anyone here hoping for a sudden and surprising surprise instead? Anyone?” I asked rhetorically, raising my hand.

“I’m not.” Danger piped in quietly, hugging himself since the puppy had been left in the safety of the crypt. He looked miserable without it.

“I’ve got a better idea…” A voice said behind us. We all spun around perfectly together as though we had rehearsed it to look see something we least expected. Sure, we weren’t exactly ready for a horned demon, or a nest of vamps…but a teenaged boy? COME. ON.

“Why don’t you ALL go home….safe and sound…snug as bugs…” He suggested.

He was pretty…too pretty to be anything but bad. He wore a crisp white t-shirt and jeans over red sneakers. His blond hair was gelled into perfect little spikes. His eyes were the color of bright cobalt behind frosted glass, haunting and beautiful. He had his thin arms crossed over his narrow chest.

“Well who do we have here?” Xander cooed. The boy ignored him, setting his gaze and keeping it on Tara. He had a half quirked smile. It was not a pleasant smile.

“Well what do we have here?” Anya corrected him.

So this was it? This was what the big, scary Carnival was going to throw at us? All of the legions of hell at their beck and call and they send a prepubescent kid to tell us to go home?

I raised my hands and looked up at the bright lights of the Carnival above us.

“This is what you’re going to go for, huh??? Couldn’t get the best of us last time so…you’re going to kill us with a boy band?”

“Looks like somebody fell out of his little, witty-bitty bed…” Spike mocked at him. The boy kept his eyes on Tara.

“He won’t listen to you.” Danger said quietly at Spike.

“Well…look at you…” The boy said to Tara, giving her a full look over. He uncrossed his arm to gesture at her hair. “I like the blond… makes you look like an angel…”

She sent you to kill us.” Tara said, matching his gaze with her own as he began to circle her. She turned to follow his path… and to keep him in her sight…looking ready to balk at any sudden movement from him

You sent me to kill them, my Queen.” The word sounded dry and dirty in his mouth. Despite his sweet features and smooth voice…this kid was Evil.

I didn’t care one way or the other what he was up to. As his circling drew him closest to me, I reached out and snatched him up by the crisp white shirt…which felt strangely like parchment under my fingers instead of the cotton I expected.

Even with his red sneakers toeing the ground, he smiled at me.

“And you must be the Slayer.” He said around a smirk.

“Only to my closest friends.” I said into his arrogant expression. He casually eyed the wads of shirt in my hands.

“I would suggest you set me down.” He said evenly….TOO evenly. But despite the warning tingle in the back of my mind, I held fast to him.

“Or what?” I challenged him.

Boy band reached up, gently, slowly, and grasped his small, almost feminine hands over my own. I didn’t have time to process how cold and parchmenty his fingers were against my skin before my muscles seized painfully. The sound that followed was like a bass drum filled with wet cotton. Thick, heavy, painful. I tried to release him…to get away…but he held fast, still smiling. The next wave of electrified pain seized my muscles again before they had fully relaxed.
I was being tazed by this little cretin!

I could taste sulfur now around the little gagging sounds I was able to emit. I tried again to let him go, but under duress, I couldn’t remember how my hands worked…how to open them…unclench…relax.

“Stop! Stop it!” I heard Tara shout, and to my surprise, he did.

He released my hands and I let him go, dropping him a few inches to the ground before toppling over sideways into the dirt. He brushed out the wrinkles in his shirt and looked down into my face as I still twitched and writhed in my own skin. Dawn came quickly to my side, pulling me close.

“Suh…Neh…Muh…Beh!” I couldn’t make my mouth follow the string of curse words I had for the little blond demon in my head. His upper lips twitched. “Suhnumebech!” I blurted again, already trying to get up and pummel him into a dry little pile of parchment dust. Nothing was working the way it was supposed to.

“Don’t over-burden yourself, Sweetheart. Even with your big bad Slayer metabolism…you’ll be processing that little charge for at least five more minutes. I hit you with a very mild dose of death… ” He crooned this over me.

I didn’t care. I was on a mission to prove him wrong, no matter how badly the nerves in my arms and legs jangled, or the little dancing fireflies in my vision pringed and wafted.

I hated this kid.

I looked up at him while he turned his attention to Tara and the others who seemed now to be frozen by his seemingly simple kicking of my ass.

“I’m here to offer you all one chance to go back home…to forget about this place…or there will be dire consequences.”

“I won’t stop.” Tara said firmly. “You’ll have to kill me first.” He flinched at that. She meant it. The first real reaction I’d seen from him. He regained his composure quickly…a rubberband snapping back into place.

“I can’t kill you…granted…you probably know that…but…” He reached down and snatched Dawn up by the arm. “ I can still bargain…”

Helpless.

I was helpless, and that little snot had his raspy hands on Dawn! I rolled towards him and he stepped effortlessly out of the way, leaving me face down in the dirt.

I REALLY hated this kid.

“Leave now…peacefully…and I’ll return this one to you. Stay…and she…dies.” He addressed the rest of the group.

“Not to throw a clichéd phrase around, but…you’re no match for me. When you are all nothing but dried and useless husks I will crush your bones to dust beneath my boot…I will…”

Yawn-snore. I wanted to bite his stylishly booted ankles. He went on like this for the better part of a minute while I continued to slay the ground with drool.

One thing was certain…he had power…the big whammy kind.

Another thing was certain…

He was afraid. Not of me…oh no…all I could do to him was spew slobbery, incoherent words in his general direction. He was putting on a show for Tara. Our Tara.

He needed her to believe he could do all of these things…he needed to bluster…because if she got an inkling of how scared he was of her, she would have him.

“You have an hour. Use it wisely.” He said, pulling Dawn closer to him before popping out of existence.

Son of a bitch.

I needed to gather my wits and my words. I needed to tell Tara what I had seen in his crystalline eyes.

Fear.

We could still save Willow, save Dawn, and save the day…err…the night.

All we needed to do is conquer the big, scary carnival.

Heh…great...

TBC

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