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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 10:13 am 
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2. Floating Rose
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Location: Los Angeles
Channel Five:
The Pactides Channel
Episode Title: The Law of the Jungle


“There…isn’t that better?” Kali asked, while Rosie languidly treaded water near her.

“Hmm?” Rosie’s expression was far away.

“Earth to Rosie…” Kali said and smiled, her shoulders just peeking out of the water.

“Hmm…?” Rosie didn’t appear to be listening. Kali splashed some water her way. Rosie sputtered and smiled goofily at the blonde.

“Hey! What’s the big idea…?”

“The big idea is that you have all this great stuff to look at around here and you’re daydreaming.”

“Does it count that I was daydreaming about all the great stuff to look at?”

“Maybe…” Kali looked only half convinced.

“Well…I’m fully awake now.” Rosie offered.

Hint-hint, I’m ready for some more smoochie action…

“Hmm?” Kali teased, pretending to be preoccupied.

“You have my undivided attention.” Rosie said.

“Hmm…?” Kali teased again, and then broke into a smile. “C’mere.”

“Wassat?” Rosie asked, still treading water.

“Over here. I want to show you the best part.” Kali started to move backwards…and Rosie was obliged to tread after her.

Okay Rosie…here we go…this is for all the marbles. Naked Kali…naked Rosie…alone for the very first time…this isn’t the time to blow it…no swallowing water and gagging alluringly at her…no leg cramps or accidental drownings…no sneezing water in Kali’s face…and absolutely no babbling…

Rosie slowly paddled towards Kali and the small waterfall. Kali continued to face her as she swam backwards. She smiled brilliantly at Rosie again.

Wet, her honey-colored hair looked dark and cast an exotic look to her complexion. Her blue eyes glimmered at Rosey.

You’ve never been so happily terrified in your whole life, have you Rosey?

Life’s too short to swim that slow. Kali’s smile said back to her. Rosey picked up the pace. Though she couldn’t see much of anything in the roiling water near the waterfall, it took Rosey’s breath away to think that only a acquiescent element such as water stood/rippled/burbled between her and naked Kali nirvana.

“Hi.” Rosey said, smiling.

Don’t be so goofy! Smiling! Stop smiling so much! Too much teeth, Rosey…dial it back a smidge…

“Hi…” Kali said back with a smoky smile. Rosey’s mind was betraying her and babbling faster than the little water fall.

Okay Rosey…game face….don’t choke up…this isn’t a stage performance…no one is watching you guys…no one is waiting with baited breath for this to happen….you aren’t being graded…no one around for miles…just you and Kali…naked…in the water…just kiss her and get it over with…you’ve kissed her before…no mystery there…’cept maybe the naked part…or [i]parts actually…doh! Focus…focus…focus…on those gorgeous blue eyes… [/i]

Rosey was so focused that it startled her when Kali and her stunning smile suddenly disappeared. Well…not so mush disappeared as faded backwards into the waterfall.

Not about to be dissuaded by some old, natural water faucet, Rosey swam forward, after her, gasping as the cooler water came down all around her.

Cold shower….got it…

Behind the waterfall was not so much a cave as a large indentation where the water was shallow. Kali perched there, still partially under the water, but seated.

“Why do I get the feeling that this isn’t the first time you’ve been here.” Rosey said.

“It’s not…but you’re the first person I’ve ever brought here to see it.”

“Really?” Rosey said. She suddenly felt kind of glowy inside…and it had nothing…okay…very little to do with the Jacuzzi style water giving her little sneak peeks beneath the water. She eased up onto the ledge next to Kali.

“I used to like to come here…to be alone.” Kali said, her eyes, moving to the curtain of water for a moment…lost in thought. Rosey put her hand on Kali’s, moving her fingers between the blonde’s…bringing her back to the now with a shy smile.

That smile could launch ships… Kali thought…and without calculation or plan, leaned in and bussed a light kiss across the redhead’s lips…then leaned back to gauge her reaction.

Rosey didn’t let her go far. She leaned in and brought Kali back into a bolder version of their chaste kiss. When they drew apart, Rosey’s cheeks had gained some color. They stared at one another for a stretch of a moment…the world outside was nothing more than a memory.

“What are you thinking?” Kali asked her. Rosie Grinned…but didn’t say anything right away…

…Okay Rosey…you’ve got her right where you want her…lips on lips…smoochy kiss-o-rama city. Liptropolis…Lipville….now….let’s move to Handtown….be suave…be certain…show no fear….

“I’m thinking there’s a you…and there’s a me…and we’re all alone…and there’s only one think to think about thinking…”

Okay…that sounded about as nerdy-suave as you’ll ever get…so GOOD JOB! You’re right on track, Rosey…you’re…

Kali brought her hand up and placed her fingers on Rosey’s lips.

Oh yeah…Kiss your fingers? I can do that…

“Shh.” Kali said suddenly.

“Hmmph?”

“Shh.” She hisses again and pointed through the curtain of water…

At the four men just right and almost above the water fall. They were so close that both young women could see them in amazing detail… their cut-offs coming just above the knees, shirtless…scruffy hair…but especially the wicked-looking guns slung casually over their shoulders.

They were looking around for something.

“Tink it’s in da watah?” One of them asked.

“Prolly.”

“Weah?”

“Like I know! Who goin in to look?”

“Not me.” They all say in union.

“Okay..we jun kana po for it, den.” One of them says. They play a rowdy three rounds of rock/paper/scissors. One obviously lost. He slipped his gun strap over his head, handing it to his comrade. Without further ado, he dove off the short ledge into the water.

Kali held perfectly still and Rosey followed suit. Off the small perch, was deeper water where they could be seen from below if they moved.

The diver stayed under for some time…then came up sputtering to the hollers of his brethren. Kali glanced through the water at the spot where they had left their clothing folded neatly on the rocks. Thank goodness they had not just left them by the water. Their clothes blended in well enough not to be spotted without some effort. Hopefully they would just find what they needed and go.

The diver went back under and Kali held her breath. If he got too close…he would see their legs under the water.

Rosey stayed just as still, staring over Kali’s hushing hand with wide-eyed fear.

Who were these guys?

When the diver emerged again, he came up with a hoot. In his hand was a brick-sized well-wrapped package. His friends cheered him as he climbed out of the water, tossed the package up to them, and then scaled back up the rock face next to the waterfall.

The girls watched him move deftly past them and Kali let out a pent up breath.

There was some thrashing above as they playfully argued over who would be the one to carry the package back…then their laughter and footsteps faded back into the brush.

“Drug drop.” Kali said…sounding like she’d seen a thousand of them…though this was her first up close and personal.

“They live down here?” Rosey asked.

“Maybe on the other side…”

“Oh.”

“We’re going the other way. No where near them.” Her heart was still pounding.

“Oh…” Rosey said again…numb.

“It’s okay…they’re gone.” Kali said.

“They’re gone?”

“And we’ll be at the cabin before it gets dark.”

“Oh. Okay…” Kali noted that Rosey looked like she was ready to gather up her clothing and head home.

Do something, Kali…turn this…

“It’s alright, Baby…I’d never let anyone hurt you…” Kali said.

Did she just call you baby? Rosey was hyper aware as Kali leaned in and ran her hand from Rosey’s shoulder to the back of her wrist…then kissed her temple twice…in a reassuring way.

Oh Rosey…how easy you are… Rosie leaned in for more reassuring.

To hell with the drug lords with giant guns…Kali just called her Baby…

TBC…

Okay…time for a vote…by the time this vote is done, I should be done with jury duty and right back on track.

Here are the channels:

Channel Two: The Living Woman Network

Channel Three: The So-Real Network

Channel Four: The Late Shift Comedy Hour: Sponsored by Hungry Puppy Donuts Inc.

Channel Five: Pacific Tides Television

Channel Six: Flashbackland

Channel Seven: Futopia Channel

Channel Eight: Children’s Broadcast Station

Channel Nine: Nine West

Channel Ten: Near Earth Channel **new**

Three days: Three Votes: Three shows…

Happy Voting!

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 10:23 am 
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30. Sweaty and Kinda Gay
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WOOT!!! Great update!!! Thank you so much for posting that ep of Pacific Tides... :D

Now on with the voting...

1. Futopia
2. Nine West
3. Futopia

And if I had aditional votes (which I don't...I know...only three allowed) they'd go a little something like this:

4. Futopia
5 Futopia
6. Nine West

:D

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 11:05 am 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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*Applause, standing ovation, groan of disappointment, boo to interrupty-drug-dealer people.*

In the words of the Phantom : "Brava, brava, bravissima!"

//Dork mode off// Sorry.

My votes: Living Woman
CBS
Near Earth

Adoration and choco-caffeinated goodness all around, I think.

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"The Wide World," said the Rat. "And that doesn't matter."


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 12:09 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Channel Three: The So-Real Network

Channel Two: The Living Woman Network

Channel Ten: Near Earth Channel **new**

Last one sounds interesting, and I love the first 2...

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 1:25 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Location: Land of midnight sun and naked blondes.
Ok, so I love you, you know I do... And sometimes I really hate you too. Like now...
:flower
Pacific Tides
Nine West
Futopia
As always.
Ye olde betrothed.

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 1:31 pm 
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9. Gay Now
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YAY!!! Naked Kali and Rosie under the waterfall --- booo to smoochus inerutpus.

1. Futopia
2. Pac-tides
3. So-Real

chanting: fuuuuuuuu-topia. futopia. futopia. futopia.

db

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 4:51 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Oh, oh, I love this. Stupid druggies, interrupting that sexy moment.

Futopia
Living Woman
Pac Tides.

Love love love!

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 6:51 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey
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First time voting, so I'd better make it count.

1. Futopia
2. Nine West
3. Pac Tides

I almost cheated and voted three times for Futopia but I figured that would be an abuse of the system and a sure way to have my vote thrown out. So here are my choices, but I so wish my TV's played nonsop Futopia. Simply love the name of that channel, love the premise, love the characters.

For Futopia (okay, and your other shows too) I'd give up PBS and NPR without a second thought. ;-)

Thanks for sharing,

Safuega

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In misery there can be beauty
In death there can be life -El laberinto del fauno-


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 1:23 am 
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2. Floating Rose

Joined: Sat Jun 24, 2006 9:19 am
Posts: 48
Location: Scotland
ohhh loved the show can't wait for the next episode!!

my votes go

1 channel seven: Futopia
2 channel five: Pacific Tides
3 channel ten: Near Earth

gotta try the new channel and see what the what is, there might be :pinky or lots of :wtkiss


bluebird


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 11:45 am 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Yay :wtkiss ! Many lots of :wtkiss please!

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"And beyond the Wild Wood?" asked the Mole.
"The Wide World," said the Rat. "And that doesn't matter."


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 12:30 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey

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Hey Pippa,

Sorry have not read the last update yet but wanted to be on time for the voting:

1. The Late Shift
2. Nine West
3. Near Earth Channel **new**

wilgen.


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:23 pm 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Location: HappyOaks Institute for the Dangerously Cheerful
BTW Nik, any luck finding the missing chapters of the late shift? I'm totally lost without them? Not that the story makes much sense anyway, but still...

No rush, mind, feel free to update Living Woman, or CBS, or write this new channel first, okay?

*wink wink nudge nudge*

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"And beyond the Wild Wood?" asked the Mole.
"The Wide World," said the Rat. "And that doesn't matter."


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 2:50 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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Location: Los Angeles
Good Day All!

I’m back from nearly 4 weeks of jury duty and ready to roll!...So polls are closed now…and it looks like Futopia is next on the roster…followed by Pac Tides…and then a newbie shows in for the third spot with Near Earth.

Well I better start writing so I can get product to y’all.

Stay Tuned!

WCR

PS…

NewRuthRising: I have the lost bits of Late Shift for you…I’ve been replaying it on the Classic Shows Channel (the first one on page 34 of this thread in your honor.) Since it’s already written it should be easy to replay for you.

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 1:00 am 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Nik, you're a lifesaver. I'll be back to read them when I'm out of hospital.

Thank you very much.


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 11:04 am 
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2. Floating Rose
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The Futopia Channel Presents:

Fear the Light

Title: Let Us Not Forget Why We Are Here



Ryder was what one would call a “cage banger”. Fully turned, she could slash/tear/bite at her enclosure, and throw herself against any standing wall for hours with a sort of monotonous pranging.

That, coupled with Taryn’s continued fever-induced clamor was making Winna stir crazy. These were things beyond her control now…and she loathed not being able to do anything to make things better.

Going back in and pacing back and forth in her quarters had earned her an irritated scowl and a subsequent ejection from the Good Doctor Blood... and now there she was…roiling around “The Lair” …between a rock and a werewolf.

Hope, who had mysteriously reappeared without invitation, and Wade seemed to be taking Winna’s obstruction in stride though…even when she began to pace in front of the television.

“Look. If you pace in front of my game one more time, I’m going to use Ryder’s Bunny Gun on you.” Wade threatened with a mouth full of popcorn. The man ate more popcorn than anyone she knew.

“What?” Winna murmured.

“Why don’t you take a walk…or go for a night-time drive?” Hope suggested, taking the bowl away from Wade.

“No…I want to be here if….” Winna checked her sidelong glance at her quarters before it got there. Instead she shook her head. “No…” She said simply.

Hope hoisted herself up off the couch and handed Wade the bowl.

“Actually, you ARE going for a drive and I’m coming with you.” She grabbed her leather jacket. “One more hour in Geek Central Command and I was going to feed Wade to the wolfy just for the entertainment.”

“She wouldn’t eat me…” Wade said up to them around another mouthful of popcorn. “I’m too gamey.”

Hope smiled at him, flashing all of her teeth. “Maybe she won’t…but she’d bat you around a little.” Wade stopped chewing…not sure if she was kidding.

“Some Slayers are scary.” He said…popcorn falling from his mouth.

“Damn straight.” Hope said with a wink. Winna, sensing the potential of either another argument or that Hope was actually NOT kidding about her threat, cleared her throat.

“I’m actually up for a ride.” She said, walking to the door to the garage and opening it.

“I get to drive?” Hope said, following.

“That would be no…as in short for ‘hell no’.”

“Hey…A girl’s gotta try…” Hope said.

“There is no try…” Winna said, indicating that Hope walk through the door she was still holding open. Wade snorfled from the couch.

“Nerd.” He accused.

“And proud of it.” Winna said before closing the doors.

[hr]

In the car Hope drummed her fingers on the dash. Slayers, Winna found, were chock-full of pent up energy.

“Turn right up here.” Hope said, pointing at the stop light ahead.

“I thought this was a leisurely drive…” Winna hedged.

“With an agenda.”

“Ah.” Winna didn’t glance away from the road to check her passenger’s expression. “And what’s on the roster?” Hope shrugged.

“Ass-kicking…name-taking…stuff like that…” She pulled down the visor and checked her makeup in the mirror though it was really too dark to see.

“Wade’s right…Slayers ARE scary.”

“Only the rogue ones.” Hope said, grinning. Winna sighed.

“Okay…so whose name are we taking?”

“The leader of the Highblood Group. That’s what you need, right?”

“Who told you…?” Winna said…turning the car right at the light.

“Bizzy volunteered the information.”

“Volunteered?” Winna said.

“Well…under some diress….”

“Riiiight….”

“No…really…I just want to help….” Hope offered sincerely.

“And kill some high-end vamps while you’re at it?”

“See? It’s like we’re the same person…only one of us is sort of more Jordi from Star Trek…”

They drive in silence for a moment…

“Talk about being a nerd….” Winna said, raising an eyebrow.

“Shut up…bad analogy…don’t tell the geeks…”

“I won’t tell…if you tell me why you want to help…”

“Truth?”

“Truth.” Hope looked around like she’d rather find an escape route than deal out her motives. Finally…giving in… she sighed loudly.

“I’m bored.” She looked out the window. “Normally you and your nerd-pack in the geek-o-drome would bore me too…but I’m finding life duller than even you and yours.”

“Thanks….I think.” Winna said dryly.

“You’re welcome… Keep driving straight…so this is what I have on this whole thing so far: Murders. The leave-em-bloodless kind. The only thing the victims seem to have in common is that they are all Highbloods…meaning in the bloodsucker world, they produce more blood than they need…when they’re alive…dead…they are basically worthless.

“Wow…you did your homework…”

“Gotta keep up with the class right?…So what I’m getting is that your girlfriend back there is one of those Highbloods…”

“Okay…”

“So the question would be…why kill them?”

“And who would have that answer?”

“I might know someone who knows someone…turn left up here.”

“And who is this someone?” Winna asked suspiciously.

“Well I had to get you in the car and halfway here just so you wouldn’t turn around when I told you…”

“Who is the ‘somebody’ Hope?”

“Turn another left here.” Winna turned, but now she pressed her attention to the dark-haired Slayer beside her.

Hope…” Winna said…brows raised over the rim of her shades. Hope coughed, stalling for time.

“Anya.” She said, and then braced her hands against the dash as the car slid-skidded to an abrupt stop.

“I knew it!” Winna said to the roof of the car. “I knew you would take me to a demon to try to solve my problems!”

“A grounded demon.” Hope reminded her.

“A demon who has made my life a living hell on more than one occasion…”

“Okay…so she screwed up a few times…”

“Five.”

“Well…It’s not easy turning over a new leaf.”

“Yeah. Especially if that leaf is still clinging to a big scary-old evil tree.”

“She’s still a good source…you can’t deny that.”

“Sure…if you want to know what evil is up to…you go and chat up evil…”

“She’s not evil anymore.”

“Hope…” Winna rolled her eyes.

“Okay…but she’s working on it. We’re going to her EA meeting as a matter of fact.”

“EA?”

“Evil-doers Anonymous.” Winna scoffs loudly.

“C’mon!”

“Really!” She paused. “Okay…look…if this starts to look like a bad deal...then we’ll leave.”

“It’s already starting to look like a bad deal…” Winna said.

“Where’s your faith?” Hope asked, knowing she had won.

“There is no faith here, Hope.” Winna said, putting the car into first. “This better be useful or you’re walking back...”

TBC….

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 11:26 am 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Evil-doers Anonymous...snicker snicker.

I wanna drive the car too! Any chance of putting a good word in?


Last edited by NewRuthRising on Tue Aug 22, 2006 12:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 9:19 pm 
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9. Gay Now
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YES! A Cataclysm Update !!

*runs off to read*

ETA: Actual feedback

*snicker*

Hope. Anya. Evildoers Anonymous... This has the potential to be a *very* funny interaction...

But I am worried about Taryn. Why is she sick and when will she get better so that she and Winna can smooch some more?

:wtkiss

db

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 12:49 am 
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2. Floating Rose

Joined: Sat Jun 24, 2006 9:19 am
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Location: Scotland
Wooo Hooo!!!!

There's an update :party :party

Anya?! ooooh this is gonna be good, or at least highly amusing. And I'm really liking Hope in this ep everyone seems to enjoy teasing Wade.


bluebird


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 7:43 am 
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30. Sweaty and Kinda Gay
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WOOT! WOOT! As always I loved, loved, LOVED Wade! This update was great...I was almost not sad that there wasn't any Winna/Taryn interaction... (I did say almost right? :hmm ) Woo Hooo... you are an awesome writer! (LOL I'm sorry I'm such a lame feedbacker) :-D

xoxo
Emms

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 4:57 am 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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Location: Shoalhaven,NSW, Australia
Cataclysm Cafe can be counted on to give great instalments. I don't know how you keep so many wonderful fics going at once, but I'm sooo happy you are.

Looking forward to more.
Anne

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Every path has its puddle. Old English Saying... I think I just stepped in mine...


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 2:55 pm 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Very true. More please.

Please? Pretty please? With coffee on top?

C'mon...don't make me beg...beck...beck...beck...

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"The Wide World," said the Rat. "And that doesn't matter."


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:58 am 
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2. Floating Rose
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The Futopia Channel

Episode: "I'll Never Tell"



“…And the wisdom to know that divulging your world-domination plot to the “good guys” just when you think you’re going to win is just a bad career move…Amen.”

The demons/vampires/ and otherworldly creatures mutually let go of each other’s hands/claws/hooves.

Winna and Hope stood in the doorway of the school gym staring at what looked to be an amicable gathering of some of the most nefarious fiends to walk the night.

“And now to end our meeting on a high note, B'ordoth here is going to finish his very interesting story…” A pleasant looking woman said from her chair…giving the floor to a six-eyed Memnoc Demon. He cleared his throat and looked around the circle at his peers.

“So there I was…just doing my grocery shopping…minding my own business... I was making a bisque…with those cute little flowers made from tiny squash…I saw the recipe on Hot Chef last week…”

“B'ordoth…” The kindly woman prompted him.

“Oh yeah…right…so there I was, fingering the summer squash…when this lady just chucks her toddler at me, drops to her knees, and begs me to devour it and grant her riches beyond that of mortal man…and blah, blah, blah…lament…blah, blah. So I’m holding this baby... and it was so clean... and fresh…and so…tasty-looking. Goodness... I hadn’t eaten a baby in months…”

“What did you do?” A pale yellow demon in a Dodger’s jersey asked from the circle.

“I handed the baby back to her mother … took my squash and left.” B'ordoth said. The group clapped for him and he nodded, proudly. “Oh! And I brought some bisque for after the meeting. You are going to just LOVE it.”

The group murmured happy approval.

Winna tossed a “what the hell is this” look at Hope who shrugged.

“Thank you, B'ordoth. Okay everyone…stay strong….but not too strong…” The kindly woman said. The creatures dispersed. Anyanka stood up from her chair, saw Hope and Winna, and smiled.

“Hope!” She did a double-take of the tall redhead beside Hope. “And Winna Gunn…what brings you two to Evildoers Anonymous?” Winna looked precariously at the Vengence Demon from behind her dark glasses.

“Hello, Anyanka.”

“Oh…it’s just Anya now.” She said, putting her hand out to shake. When Winna didn’t move to oblige, she sighed. “Oh, you’re not still mad about that whole "wager" thing are you?”

“You cheated. You used the dark forces of evil...and you cheated.”

“Hey…Texas Hold’em is a test of endurance. Besides, that was the old Anyanka. The new and improved Anya plays poker fair and square.” She motioned to the table where a strange mix of demons were sampling B'ordoth's soup. "Would you like some soup and punch?"

Winna held up her hand before Hope could answer.

"No 'punch' jokes....please....we're here to get information." Hope, not allowed to flaunt her witty Rogue Slayer puns, seemed to sulk beside her.

"Fine." Hope said. "We need to talk to you about this Highbloods thing." Winna watched as the grounded demon closed her shop for business. She crossed her arms, turned her eyes away towards the far wall, and pursed her lips.

"Anya?" Hope edged.

"I don't know anything about that." She said, quickly repursing her lips after the words were released.

"They're killing humans, Anyanka." Winna said.

"It's Anya...and Vampires have been killing humans since the...well since the forever."

"It doesn't make it right, Anya. It makes it wrong...and wrong is Evil...and Evil is what you're trying not to be...and not giving us the information..." Anya unfolded her arms to stop Hope's tirade.

"I know how to play the "You Equals Evil" game, Hope. Under the same silly logic, buying anything made out of Spandex is Evil...so you'll have to do better than..."

"I was going to say...'and not giving us the information we need will make me angry...and making me angry is one of those things that could be detrimental to your health...' " Hope said, a nefarious glint in her eye. Anya turned her gaze from the wall to the Slayer, making sure she got the brunt of the heavily unveiled threat.

"Oh you mean the Highbloods Highbloods...! I could talk about that for days!" Anya chuckled nervously.

"Start now." Winna said.

"Well I guess the most important thing to know is who you're looking for." Anya said, putting her arms around their shoulders and turning them away from the members of the meeting so they could talk.

"That would be efficient." Hope said. Anya pulled them in closer, almost head to head to head.

"You're looking for something called the Order of the Blood. Very obvious name, but secret society stuff. Rich and powerful vamps. They like things the old ways...you know dropping out of trees and draining their prey...sleeping in coffins..."

"And this has what to do with the Highbloods?"

"Well...they think that Highbloods are just an excuse for vamps to shirk their natural predatory ways to live like humans...you know...go to the store, pick up a human...eat in front of the television... They don't like the idea of humans getting a higher spot of the food chain...or the social ladder."

"Rich and powerful wanting to keep the lower classes down...boy that's never been done before..." Hope surled.

"I need names." Winna said.

"I couldn't tell you any but one. Their lackey do-bidding...William Blood."

Winna stood stock-still, her head still together with Anya's, but her fingers tightening on the back of the ex-demon's arm.

"Whu....what did you say?" Winna's tone made both Hope and Anya want to be somewhere across the room, eating bisque with other demons and harpies.

"William Blood. He's their messenger boy." Anya said, not quite sure she wanted to keep going. Winna broke away and was already moving towards the door.

"I have to get back. I left him with her."

Hope, grateful for her slayer speed, caught up with Winna just as she was getting into the car. She slid into the passenger seat as the tires squealed.

"What's the plan?"

"The plan?" Winna said...almost to herself. "Sweetheart, It's time to play..." She said out loud, concentrating on the road.

Hope was about to mention that though she didn't quite mind warranting the name 'sweetheart', she still preferred the male variety...when she heard a mechanical churring in the dashboard of the car.


Tock-tock-tock-tock....tckha.

The dashboard in front of Hope opened up to produce two very dangerous looking hand guns. They promised oiled pain in two pretty portable cannons.

"I hate to tell you this, Gunn...but I think I am dingo-dog-bite-in-love with your car." Hope said, suddenly realizing that she was, quite literally, no longer bored.

TBC...

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 2:12 pm 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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Wow, I'm so glad I resisted all suggestions to take my CC TV to Cash'n'Carry. It's so good to see another episode come to air. :party

I'm hoping your muse hangs around and inspires you to give us more of your terrific tales :pray - I'd suggest a favourite, only I can't decide on just one.

Seriously, good to see you back on board and hoping all is well with you.

Anne

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 2:55 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Posts: 75
Location: Land of midnight sun and naked blondes.
OMG.
This is so weird... I've had a seriously bad week and I thought to myself yesterday: Wouldn't it be great if something fun and unexpected happened right now to make this week a little less crappy?

"Like if Wiccachica suddenly re-apperared on the Kitten board and continued Cataclysm Café or something totally unlikely like that?" she said to her self in a tone of sardonic irony.

"Don't be silly, that will totally never happen" she continued to self.

Then I have a sudden impulse to check the board and here you are. Jung called and wanted his syncronicity back...

Who would have guessed that there is a God? The God of Seriously Ass-kicking Fan Fiction.

Thank you!! As I have stated may times, Cataclysm is probably the best fic ever and this is the most fun I have had without sex for some time.

Please don't leave again? (wimpers pathetically)

You rule. :bounce :flower :bigkiss

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 8:13 pm 
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2. Floating Rose
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Posts: 41
Location: Los Angeles
Spells42: I see your post and all is right with the world again! 2006-2007 was a mad, mad year that almost saw ME checking out at the CC cash'n'carry as well. Well I'm back and I hope to thrill. I figure I'll let the TIVO go on autopilot until I get the Cafe jumping again.

Reallybigpineapple: So happy to see you! I am so glad that I could make your week a little less crappy (heh). If it helps I will, if allowed, stay around for some time making your weeks less crappy on a regular basis. New iMac, new writing-lease on life, and a brain full of strange spinnings of yarns. Prepare yourself!

Channel Four: The Late Shift Comedy Hour- Sponsored by Hungry Puppy Donuts

Chapter: Better the Devil You Know….


“You will never get away with this…” I say lamely.

Boy…when you want a flare for the dramatic, Rosenberg…you get it….

I remain obstinate in my strange, makeshift chair. It had risen up out of the inky black floor and fashioned itself to suit me perfectly.

“Oh ho? Heh…” The dark-haired version of the woman I love stops and smiles up at the eternal blackness above us like something was amusing her.

“What’s so funny?” I ask her, petulantly. She turns to me, in a swish of long black hair and black eyes and I blanch under her gaze.

“I’m just picturing you tied to the train tracks and me in a big black hat…” She chuckles again and cuts a wry look at me out of the corner of her eye. “Now I’m just picturing you tied up…”

“Don’t you care that I don’t want to be here with you?” I challenge her.

“You will.” She says…all too seriously now.

“I won’t.” I say like a three-year old child, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I’m Evil, Willow. The kind with the capital E… I don’t do the care thing anyway…”

“But you’re also Tara…right? Tara…” I ask hopefully.

She looked down at me, her expression unreadable. “Somewhere inside there’s a part of you that is still good…” I had no idea if that was true or not. I just had to hope….

This Dark Tara had a way of looking at me as though she knew the exact pitch and turn of my thoughts. Her mirth at my naiveté was now completely gone. She stood in front of me for a moment and another ‘chair’ materialized from the seemingly solid floor and she sat down, crossing her legs, not taking her disturbing gaze from my face.

We sat this way for some time; she with her fingers laced together and watching me until I can’t help but squirm under the weight of those onyx eyes.

“What?” I challenge her, trying to show her bravery that I don’t exactly own. She blinks, but doesn’t move.

“You are more beautiful than I remember.” She says.

“Am I?” I shoot back.

What would this thing know about love?

“You don’t think Evil can love?” She asks…seeming to read my mind again.

“If kidnapping, keeping me from my family and friends, hurting the people I love, and trying to frighten me is your idea of love…” I see just the slightest tick at the corner of her mouth. It is a Tara tick…when something gets under her skin…though not much did…senseless violence and the mention of her family were the front runners…

Though I found MY Tara’s facial quirk endearing, I had the distinct notion that this Tara’s irritation would be much more dangerous. She shifted in the chair slightly (and I could swear it shifted with her…like it knew what she was thinking.

“So this is it for your nefarious plan?”I ask, showing her my chin.

“That and a really big Evil wedding." She says.

"A wedding?" I say, not really sure how to react to this. She flips her dark hair over one shoulder.

"Well...it's more of a big ceremony where the guests slaughter innocents and bathe us naked in their blood to the the song "Have You Really Ever Loved a Woman" by Bryan Adams.

She truly was evil.

"I'm not going to marry you." I tell her.

"No...you're not." She says. I look around for some kind of hidden camera.

"You're confusing me." I say.

"Well...you aren't going to marry me like that. We will need to get you into a fitting image for a bride..."

"Still lost here." I say. Dark Tara smiles truly for the first time and I am riveted by how much she resembles MY Tara. A heart-stopping smile that makes my head swim...and then it turns....darkly...and I feel the frightened flutter of panic again. This is NOT my Tara. This is what she would be if her beautiful, wonderfully bright soul were extinguished.I cannot spend the rest of my life loving a soulless creature with the face of my beloved.

Again, she is weighing my thoughts.

"Every Tara needs her very own Willow." She says. "And how fitting that losing you...so long ago...tonight is what fills me with enough despair to become this gorgeous woman you see before you..."

"Oh goddess.." I say. The gravity of the situation becoming all too real. This was MY Tara.

This was MY Tara without me...

"You are going to look great in black..." She says with a smile so sinister that my heart stutters.

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:54 am 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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Posts: 471
Location: Shoalhaven,NSW, Australia
Evil Tara? ... shiver... It's hard to imagine an evil Tara. I mean I can imagine an evil Tara as in a sultry, sexy, teasing kind of evil... heh... :blush but this kind of evil Tara I hadn't thought possible - it's intriguing.

Anne

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Every path has its puddle. Old English Saying... I think I just stepped in mine...


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:05 am 
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3. Flaming O
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Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 8:26 pm
Posts: 75
Location: Land of midnight sun and naked blondes.
OMG, again.
Let me immediately sacrifice a curvy honey blond woman on the altar of Excellent Entertainment. Actually, never mind, I'll just send her to you in the mail instead.

The board isn't quite the same anymore, with fewer new stories and even less of great quality. Suppose that's inevitable with the show being off the air for so long. This makes it extra great that you are continuing the Café so that a girl still has a reason for stopping by once in a while.

Will there be voting? Please say that there will be voting? (Jumps up and down impatiently)

Here are the votes of the Swedish jury:

1: Pacific Tides

2: Nine West

3: Futopia

What a surprise, who would have thunk it, huh?

Thanks for making my monday less monday-ish! :bigkiss

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 7:17 am 
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2. Floating Rose
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Posts: 41
Location: Los Angeles
Oh yesssss….Georgie…..there will be voting… and down here…YOU’LL. VOTE. TOO! (sorry I went off on a scary movie tangent)

I’m just writing a few episodes of different shows to get my sea legs back (if you will) But there will most certainly be voting very soon.



Channel Four: The Late Shift Comedy Hour- Sponsored by Hungry Puppy Donuts

Chapter: Release the Hounds!!!



Have you ever stopped and asked yourself how you manage to get into situations that require, not only an open mind the size of a small universe… but a really good hairspray as well?

Mind you…not many hairsprays can hold up against an apocalypse, a space/time vortex, heavy rain in a cemetery, and a kidnapping-slash-betrothal to a Dar-and-Evil version of your girlfriend.

I have a great hairspray.

It’s not even evil, or charmed, or anything. $4.73 at your local store. It keeps its bounce and curl… even when I’m being dressed and prepped for an Evil wedding by four shadowy minions in robes and hoods.

Okay…normally I wouldn’t be mentally babbling on about such things…I mean…what does it really matter if you have sexy hair when you’re about to be bathed in the blood of innocents? (Certain politicians aside…)

Put me on a couch for a minute and I’d probably hear that this internal rant is my own little way of dealing with a really bad situation. Can’t handle the heat? Start thinking about strange, mundane issues until your mind just fuzzes out. Easy-Peezy. Right?

(Riiiiiiight, Rosenberg)

Except for that small little part with Dark Tara sitting across the room with her fingers steepled in front of her…watching you with that thin, knowing smile and those eyes…. those black, black eyes…

Her dark gaze keeps me the slightest bit in the here and now as the minions, who look a little too much like demented Jawas to be ignored, slip the crimson dress over my head without any regard for my dismay or my quantum-hold hairspray.


From nowhere and nothingness that is the big black room, the woman I only know as “Olivia” appears.

Dressed formally in shiftless black, she stops beside Dark Tara’s seat and waits.

Dark Tara pretends to ignore her for as long as she can before she drops her head, mildly annoyed at being interrupted from creepily watching me.

“What???” She demands.

“I did not want to disturb the…turning, Epshuat…but…”

I lift my head slightly…listening more intently now while trying to keep my despairing look from changing to one of interest. (Turning? Who is turning over what? Who is turning into what???)

“But…?” Dark Tara prompts impatiently. Olivia leans in closer to her.

“…but….YOU are here…at the gates…” She says with a quirk of her eyebrow. Dark Tara sighs and stands up.

“I have to admit…I’m almost Swiss in my timing…” She says, walking across the room to where I stand in partial undress. “You hear that? I’ve come to save you, Baby.” She says to me with a smile that gives me nothing but the chills.

(Tara is here? MY Tara is here to save me?)

“I have to complete the turning.” Dark Tara says, still looking at me, but speaking to Olivia. “Send Lukipo to…take care…of things.”

“Yes, Epshuat.” Olivia replies with a small bow before she starts to fade into the nothingness again.

“And remind that little hellion that he’s not to lay a hand on ME…or the child. If I see so much as a new scar on this body, I’ll have him flayed…repeatedly…forever…” Dark Tara demands over her shoulder.

“Yes, Epshuat…” Olivia’s voice echoes into the room, though she has already disappeared.

With Olivia gone, Dark Tara waves the shadowy little minions away. They retreat into the etherverse in a swirl of nothingness, tittering, and cackling.

“You know…I was going to make you believe that I…the old Tara…had died…but that had only one small flaw…” She takes my left hand in hers. Her touch…though just as warm and as soft as MY Tara, has none of the inner warmth I so treasure. It is like holding onto Tara’s visage…her shell… and nothing more.

“That if she had died…YOU wouldn’t be here.” I say. My hand feels numb under her touch. I can’t seem to pull away…to withdraw it. I am trapped.

“See? My Treasure is so… very… smart.” She purrs. “I cannot possibly hurt my past self without suffering myself some…ill will…and we can’t have that, can we?”

“No. We can’t.” I say, wondering and certain all at once that I would not like where this thread of conversation was going.

“But my favorite pet, Lukipo, will make very sure that everyone else suffers. It’s what he does.”

“You can’t…” I say. I plead.

“Oh…I’m not. I’m going to be quite occupied. I have no worries though. Lukipo is quite a creative little imp. He’s shows great innovation in all of his….projects.” She strokes my hand… my numbed fingers…ever-so-gently.

A sound…like the rumble of thunder… fills the broad, dark, space with sound and Dark Tara looks up at the ceiling again.

“That would be Lukipo now…” She says with a half-dreamy smile that still manages to appear evil.

I could only hope that Dark Tara’s best boy, Lukipo was no where near as gigantificormous as he sounds.


TBC…

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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:03 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey
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Posts: 156
Okay, I'm going to admit that it's been so long that I've completely forgotten most of the story lines except for Futopia's, but darn it all to hell, I'm reading the whole thing over again just so I can make sense of this new bounty!

I do remember some of your great one-liners and this, this newest one is just priceless:


Quote:
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself how you manage to get into situations that require, not only an open mind the size of a small universe… but a really good hairspray as well?
:laugh

Amazingly deranged but cool stuff you're putting out here. Can't wait to exercise my franchise 'cause I know which story I want up next!

Safuega

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In misery there can be beauty
In death there can be life -El laberinto del fauno-


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 Post subject: Re: Cataclysm Cafe - The Viewing Room
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 1:00 pm 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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Location: Kitopia
Hello :)

I have caughty up those last few days and I love the concept and the shows as well!

My fav are Nine West, Futopia and PacTides. But they are just favorites, I liked all of them.

It is funny, angsty and all.

Oh goody what a nice to read fic! :)

Friendly,

Julia

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"Joie est mon caractère, C'est la faute à Voltaire; Misère est mon trousseau, C'est la faute à Rousseau." Gavroche. Victor Hugo, Les Misérables (chap. XV)


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