Emms:Welcome to the fold, young Café-goer. You are the first person who has said they fell in to this absurd and wacky tale by reading the last episode first. Even from the beginning, you might find me to be a bit patter-brained as a storyteller. The Late Shift was originally written to confuse and surprise you so don’t expect much more than that. But I bid you welcome…and good reading….
And now the Afternoon Edition of:
The Late Shift
Chapter: Verum Tachar Paraclut et Sprrl The Niblet sat cross-legged on the ground in the dirt.
Though the area was nothing more than a few patches of grass and some litter, it was as close as we could come to approximating where the carousel had been.
“Good. Now all we need is for you to wait until we’re far enough away…and then you read this incantation… and poof…we’re back in Funkytown, pet.” I say pointing at a passage in the book.
“A-are you sure this is going to work?” Dawn asked…not quite sure now about being so eager to volunteer her body as a key to the Etherverse.
“Like a charm.” I say, dropping the amulet into her hands. “Just read that bit there…and we’ll be back in hell in no time.” I smile reassuringly. She doesn’t look convinced. She sighs and finally takes her first good gander at the book.
“Hey! This is in some weird demon language!”
“It’s Hoji. A Kogathra Demon dialect. It’s the only spell I could find on short notice. Sound it out. It’s really all about phonetics.”
“Okay…” She says…still not sounding too sure.
Anya kneels down and spontaneously hugs Dawn, surprising us all.
“We will be just far enough away to keep from being turned into oozing-yet-sentient puddles of matter…but close enough to come help you if you…you know….need us.” She thinks about it. “Actually at least Buffy will. Her being the Slayer and us being really…mortal and weak…and only able to die once….you know how it is”
“Thanks.” Dawn says dryly. Buffy gives her a quick, slayer hug that squishes some of the breath from her sister…and then we are on our way…
We walk towards what Anya deemed as ‘minimum safe distance’…and some. I figure…wherever the ex-demon wants to be…that’ll be out of harm’s way…so I’ll stick with her until after the Big Whammy.
We found our safe place behind some large rubbish bins some two hundred yards out.
I can feel the Slayer’s grip on my arm and its starting to know what a drumstick feels like seconds from being plucked from the chicken.
“This better work, Spike.” She says. (or you’re dust) But of course she doesn’t even need to say that second part anymore.
“It will. Now, watch.” I say, turning myself into the twist of my arm enough to relieve some of the pain and still look nonchalant…almost like I was more interested in what was happening with the Niblet.
[hr]
Dawn fingered the amulet…watching how the colors inside changed in the dim light. She rubbed the surface for a moment, checked to see that everyone was behind the garbage cans, and turned her attention to the book.
“Verum tachar paraclut et sprrl…."
(nothing)
“Uhm…. Verum tachar paraclut et sprrl…”
She rubbed the stone again…repeating the incantation…to no avail.
[hr]
“Something’s wrong. It’s not working.” Buffy says.
“Wait for it….” I say….
[hr]
“Hey… Verum tachar paraclut et sprrl!” Dawn rubbed the amulet again, then finally turned it over. She squints. “Made in Taiwan?” She glared out at the trash cans. “Hey this thing isn’t even the real …!”
[hr]
“…deal!!” We hear her shout.
Buffy had started to stand up behind the cans when I took her wrist this time…pulling her back down.
“Wait.” I said.
[hr]
“Did you guys hear me?” Dawn yelled at the top of her lungs…shaking the amulet. “I said that this dumb thing doesn’t…”
[hr]
It was not an explosion of light.
It was a trickle.
It dribble/slithered through Dawn’s fingers and spilled out onto the worn dirt.
It shimmered there in a large puddle for a moment, and then began to spread out around her, slowly…hesitantly….testing the ground…
And then the light suddenly surged outward from there.
<
>
Of course, it being light and all…It struck us with nothing more than awe.
I even said it out loud…
“Awww……that was a poncy displ….” I started.
<>
The sound wave came a flea’s breath later and knocked us all flat to the ground. It pressed us into the dirt for several seconds as it washed over us…
The fence that had been erected around the fairgrounds flattened back like a chain link flower opening. The rubbish cans, that we were hiding behind, squealed under an invisible weight and then crumpled inward and flattened down like empty soda cans.
And then the force retracted…leaving us quickly… an invisible ocean wave receding.
Buffy sat up first and looked around. Her face and hair covered with dust.
“What was that???”
I sat up, followed by the dribbling idiot vamp. Our vampire constitutions warranted a quicker recovery than most…save the Slayer.
“That…” Xander said, peeling himself off the dirt, “Was the coolest thing I never want to do again.”
“I wholly agree.” Anya chimed in, sitting up looking disheveled and dusty. Like shell-shocked soldiers, we got to our feet.
“Is everyone okay?” Tara asked...finding her bearings. We all looked to each other and then turned as a single unit to look over the decimated rubbish cans to Dawn.
She was still sitting right where we had left her…holding a still glowing amulet out at arms length in front of her.
“Now what???” She called to us.
“Well…now you should drop it!” Anya shouted back. “And then you might want to probably run like hell!”
Dawn dropped the amulet and then froze. It didn’t adhere to the laws of gravity, but instead paused in mid air where she has loosed it. She watched it, mesmerized.
“So now we have a light…and a creepy floating key…” Xander stated the obvious. “What next?”
“Wait…do you hear that?” Tara asked. We all paused, stock-still…though none of us had actually been making much noise to begin with.
“Please, please, please don’t be rats….” Xander hiss/prayed under his breath.
“Listen.” Tara insisted.
We did.
(Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick)
The sound was growing louder and more resonant by the second.
“A bomb?” Anya said.
“A toy?” Buffy hoped.
“Bad.Bad.Bad….” Danger said eloquently.
“Listen.” Tara said again, and took a step forward to tilt her head…searching for the source of the sound.
“Tumblers.” I say. Buffy turns on me.
“What is that? Some English word for ghosts? Demons? Are there Tumbler demons coming?” I sigh at her.
“Tumblers like from a pin-tumbler lock being opened.” I say.
“Oh.” Buffy says…the alarm going out of her expression…though I don’t know why.
“Oh!” She says again as it hits her.
(Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick)
Buffy looks up at me.
“Oh sh…..”
SCRAPE…………CLICK…….
SCRAPE…………CLICK…….
TBC.
And now…the time has come….
Voters…start your engines!
Remember the rules of three: Each person gets the remote and pick three channels. Voting polls are open for three days. The top three channels get produced. Easy as pie!
Here is the Channel Line-Up:
Channel Two: The Living Woman Network
Channel Three: The So-Real Network
Channel Four: The Late Shift Comedy Hour: Sponsored by Hungry Puppy Donuts Inc.
Channel Five: Pacific Tides Television
Channel Six: Flashbackland
Channel Seven: Futopia Channel
Channel Eight: Children’s Broadcast Station
Channel Nine: Nine West
Channel Ten: Near Earth Channel **new**