First of all, thank you to Barnabasvamp, Justin, Frumpycat, AntigoneUnbound, Grimlock, Pinkzippy, Tommo, and TemperedCynic for taking the time to offer feedback. The last two chapters challenged me greatly and receiving your encouragement means the world to me.
More specifically,
Barnabasvamp, she may be a ghost of sorts, but she is still Tara. How could she resist tweaking her beloved? LOL
As for the transitional paragraphs, problem... Where I have been tripping up is figuring out how to narrate amidst this third person omniscient point of view. It would seem that there would be less work in being "all-knowing." But once again, the Technopagan is entirely wrong. Oh well. In the next two chapters, I will be returning to limited third person point of view. Then I will finish part two of D.R. with something entirely different. Yep, there is a lot more to come.
Justin, how lovely to find your comments here at the Kitten. As soon as I finish part two of D.R., I hope to post it at Wiccan Ways. Thanks for calling D.R. art. Lately, I have been calling it the monkey on my back. Your term is so much nicer.
Frumptycat, thanks for coming back after the long hiatus. I'm glad I gave you something to cheer up your Monday!
AntigoneUnbound, thank you for commenting on, to use your term, the "revelation" scenes. Trying to figure out how to put those scenes together was a serious challenge for me, especially the memory storm of Tara's death. After writing a half-dozen versions, I finally settled on the series of sentence fragments followed by the haiku. The imagistic fragments (e.g. Willow's eyes green like blades of grass, Willow's hair like silk spun from the evening sky, Willow's smile beautiful like the stars that decorate the heavens) end with the haiku, which is, I think, the most imagistic poetic form, but here, instead, it is written as a kind of truth statement. (Breathe, come back to life) It seemed to me that at this point in the story such temporal forms as narrative and story needed to come to a screeching halt. Time needed to stop and restart. Consider the haiku a hard boot, LOL.
I agree that stories like this can easily dissolve into a "sea of intangibility." The story of the next big bad coming to Sunnydale is really only a context for the other larger story about what we really are as human beings, about what constitutes the soul and what is the substance of memory.
As for the dream sequences, those in some ways are the most fun to write. While they are heartbreaking in their own way, I love defying the laws of physics. LOL. Thank goodness Tara has her little furry companion. And, of course, the dream sequences are their own story, written underneath the other two, but weaving them together.
Grimlock, I can understand why you feel protective of the girl. She has certainly lived through a lot. And you are right she deserves an abundance of love and good food.
You are also right in thinking that the girl's chief problems (besides that nasty apprentice fellow) are negotiating having two sets of memories and coming to terms with who she is. The magicks extracted a high price in allowing her to cross from her reality to Willow's, even if reasons for doing so are noble ones (to save a world that is not her own).
As for the time sequencing, Tara read portents for the future of Willow's reality. The apprentice has not arrived yet, he is putting together his evil plans, and he is also stirring up trouble, even now. In part three of D.R., more of this story will be revealed. The good news is that this time Tara will not have to go it alone; she will have the backing of the Scoobies, plus a few other "guest stars." But that's all I'm telling!
How does the girl keep going? Easy, she is made of stern stuff. Of course, we saw hints of her in Willow's Tara. Remember the setting of Tara's jaw when she axed the demon who was about to slash her girl, or when Anya got in Willow's face on the issue of magicks? We saw her there, I think.
Look for more scenes of Scooby friendship in the next two chapters. And you're right the girl needs to learn her counterpart's history... but when and how is up to Willow.
Pinkzippy, glad to hear you enjoyed it!
Tommo, I agree. There is a "whole heap of pain" under the surface. Willow and Tara are both negotiating impossible circumstances while also having to contend with a more than considerable physical attraction to one another. The idea of soul mates sounds lovely until you really think about it. And then you realize there's a lot of work involved. In some ways the problem W and T face is figuring out how they fit together. Both of them see someone else standing in front of the other. Willow, of course, sees the Tara of her reality, and the girl sees the Willow of hers. Neither can simply overlook nor see past the other's counterpart. Tara and Vamp-Willow cannot be forgotten, Tara, especially continues to be present in multiple ways.
TemperedCynic, I hate to admit it, but I've not read Sidestep Chronicles. But as soon as I finish D.R., I plan to. LOL. I have this huge fan fiction-reading program already planned. Right now, I am only keeping up with a very few stories. And, I am behind on all of them!
As I mentioned to Mary, for me the dream stuff is total fun to write. Especially now that Willow and ghost Tara are able to join the girl and White Leg (by the way, the real White Leg is a little cat that lives in a cemetery near my house. He or she (I'm thinking she) is feral. And very adorable). Of course, the trick is turning into figuring out who is the dreamer and who is being dreamed.
I like your term battle-hardened. I think it describes the girl well. She has amazing fighting skills, but she also carries a great many scars, physical and emotional. Fortunately, she has finally found her salvation, a skinny red head with green eyes who I believe is more than up to the task.
I'm glad to hear that the identity of the apprentice was a surprise. As I mentioned to Grimmy, he's busy getting ready to unleash holy hell on Sunnydale. Exactly what he is up to, I do not want to reveal. But Anya is right, boy-toy is damn dangerous. And Buffy is also right, when he crosses over, he's going to find out what it means to take on a Slayer, plus a couple of seriously capable witches, as well as the rest of the Scooby crew.
There are a few more pieces to set up on the chessboard. But, you are right; we are almost ready for part three....
Finally, thanks again to all who have commented!
Edited by: technopagan78 at: 4/1/03 11:31:23 pm