The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P12
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2002 2:01 am 
Ok this had me laughing out loud - "Vampires beware, it's Willow: Warrior Wiccan."

All the people at work now think i`m nuts! Well more so than usual :grin

Dixon you did it to me again! This part made me feel happy and sad at the same time.

Thanks and I have faith that everything will work out in the end.



"Nothing like gettin your ass kicked, to make your ass hurt!"

Buffy Series 5

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P12
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2002 2:43 am 
Willow's explanation of the difference between hurt and injured made my head whirl! And Tara's parting line made my heart sing.

Poor Willow will be devastated waking from this dream.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P12
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2002 5:01 am 
I just caught up on this and I love it!! Such a sweet's too bad she has to wake up from it and feel the hurt all over again.

"Xander gave Willow caffeine after midnight? He completely ignored the Gremlin law?" --That had me laughing out loud, great line. :)


 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P12
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2002 9:17 am 
Oh god, when she wakes up...!

But I've a feeling this dream might be a motivating something or other for the rest of the story. Unless...she's not going to make some of that demon-dream stuff and inject herself is she????

"O Let my name be in the Book of Love!
If it be there I care not of that other Book above.
Strike it out! Or write it in anew, but
Let my name be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kayam

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P12
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2002 2:10 pm 
Willow: Warrior Wiccan.

Haha try to say that ten times in a row ;) :D


'I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really's depressing' - Tara

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P12
PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2002 8:31 pm 
Ok, I finally caught up with this story. This is so good. So very sweet but so hard to read at some parts. God... some of these parts made my chest hurt. But I trust that you'll get us to the good ending, right? :D


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson

"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

 Post subject: The Wish -- P13
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2002 10:27 pm 
Hey Kittens, sorry for the delay, somehow I caught and had an allergic reaction to one of those darn poison leafs (Ivy I think – darn Ivy). Anyway, I had it on my hands and arms among other places and typing wasn't an option, but it is now. Also, thanks for you're patience and trust, the W/T happy is in sight. PEACE … Dix

Warning: Willow Angst.


"Still be sleeping, still be sleeping, still be sleeping." Buffy half chanted, half prayed as she jogged down the hallway towards Tara's dorm room. The slayer had spent the entire night outside of the room waiting and listening for Willow to wake up, but just after sunrise, the call of nature became too much and Buffy had to leave her post for a bathroom break. The bathroom on Tara's floor was out of order so the slayer had to go a floor down, which caused her to be gone longer then she wanted.

The slayer stopped in front of the closed door and leaned in to listen. Her super slayer hearing picked up on the change of breathing. When she left, the redhead's breathing was slow and even but now, it sounded as if it was almost labored.

"Willow!" Shouted the slayer as she banged on the door, "Willow are you okay."

Buffy wanted to give the witch time to be alone, and to grieve, but when Willow didn't answer, she thought the worst, and the slayer grabbed the knob and pushed the door open.

The sight she was greeted with brought the slayer up short. Buffy stood in the doorway looking at Willow, who was sitting in the corner, with an afghan wrapped around her shaking frame. The witch was shivering and sweating at the same time, her hands were twitching and her teary eyes stared dismally at the floor.

The witch never looked up, or gave any outward acknowledgement to the slayer's presence, until she spoke. "Go away." Came a hoarse, yet quiet voice from the corner.

The hurt she felt at the statement washed over the blonde in tidal waves, but she ignored Willow's command and moved closer to her friend. "It's the effects of the magic again isn't it?"

"Go away."

Buffy sighed and sat down beside her friend, putting herself in the redhead's line of sight. "Please don't do this Willow." She requested in a shaky voice, barely holding the tears at bay. "You were there for me, let me be there for you."

Green eyes closed tightly, "I said leave."

The slayer reached out to touch her friend, but pulled her hand back instead. "I'm not leaving Willow … I can't." Tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You're my best friend … I love you."

"Just go aw-"

"Dammit Willow," yelled Buffy as she pushed herself to her feet, "I'm not leaving you. I'm staying right here and I'm going to do whatever I can. I owe Tara at least that much."

Willow reached up and wiped away the sweat and tears from her eyes and she looked up at the slayer, "Owe her what?"

"You, Willow," said the slayer as she knelt down in front of her friend. "I owe you to Tara … to do everything I can for you. She'd want that more then anything."

The witch dipped her head, "She would … but I don't need your help."

Buffy tried to force the anger down, but it wasn't any use, "The hell you don't. You need all the help you can get right now. Look at you Willow, you're going through magic withdraw again, you're grief is … indefinable, and the guilt you-"

"Guilt?" Willow's head snapped up and she interrupted incredulously. "You think I feel guilty? Over what? Over Warren? Rack?" The witch pushed herself to her feet, "You think I care about the withdraw or Warren or anything else on this Godforsaken planet? Well I got news for you … I don't. I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore."

"You don't mean th-"

"Yes I do." Countered Willow who was still feeling the effects of the withdraw. "When the only thing in your life that makes living worthwhile is taken away from you … it gets real easy to stop caring."

"Is this what Tara would want for you?" retorted the slayer. "Would she want you to give up on life, on your friends, on yourself?"

Willow turned and looked stared out of the window at the morning sun, "You're not my friend." She said quietly.

The statement hit the slayer in the gut like cannonball, "What? Willow what?" she sputtered.

"Friends don't battle each other to the death." Came the quiet reply. "Friends don't beat each other within an inch of their lives, friends don't threaten to turn each other to turn them back into-"

"This guilt Willow," interrupted Buffy as she placed her hands on the slender shoulders of her grieving friend. "It wasn't you who did those things, and even if it was, we forgive you anyway. That's what friends do."

All the redhead could do was shake her head back and forth.

"We all love you Willow, we always will, no matter what happens." Said the slayer as she used her hands to turn her friend around. Buffy looked directly into pain laden, teary eyes, "Friends?"

Willow nodded and threw herself into her friends arms mumbling that she was sorry over and over again.

Buffy caught and held the slender woman easily, and she lowered them to the floor, where she sat cradling Willow. The slayer ran her hand up and down Willow's back trying to offer comfort as her friend cried.

It took just over an hour for Willow's crying to ease into sobs and then to the occasional hiccup. The redhead was still cradled in the slayer's arms when she finally spoke again.

"Buffy?" she asked quietly.

The slayer jumped slightly at the sound, she thought Willow had fallen asleep. "Yeah Will?"

"Tell me about heaven … Will she be happy there?"

Should she tell the truth, lie, or tell Willow exactly what she wanted to hear. "She'll be very happy there, I promise."

"Will she… Will she remember me?" Willow asked in the quietest, meekest voice the slayer had ever heard.


"Definitely. She'll know that you're thinking of her and that you miss her, but she won't be sad because of it, she'll feel more loved."

"Do you think she's mad? About the magic and everything."

"She's not." Buffy answered with certainty, "You found your way back and that's what matters."

"Is her mom there too? Are they together?"

Buffy felt tears sting her eyes and her throat tightened, "I know they are."

Silence once again fell over the two women and a short time later Willow spoke with a quivering voice, "I miss her Buffy. I miss her so much … I didn't think I could hurt this much and still be alive."

Buffy wrapped her arms around the Willow and held her tightly, "I know Will, I know."

"I don't know how to live without her. I don't want to." Sobbed Willow, her tears absorbed by the slayers cotton shirt.

Buffy knew that she couldn't say anything or do something to ease her friends immense pain. All she could do was be there for her. And she would be.

The slayer would do everything she could to help pick up all of the pieces of the very broken Willow and try and put them back together.

Even though half of the puzzle was missing, she still had to try.


 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P13
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2002 10:51 pm 
I just read the last three parts of this story and they were great. You've really captured the grieving Willow well and the dream of Willow: Warrior Wiccan was wonderfully sweet and poignant.

"Chemistrys easy. Its a lot like witchcraft, except less newt."

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P13
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2002 12:58 am 
About time Buffy has started acting like a true friend to Willow, because she definitely needs a friend now!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P13
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2002 8:37 am 
You are breaking my heart, but thanks for giving us what ME has not!!!! I have faith that you shall fix this in the end, and its making for a very grand and powerful read...thank you.

Sharon :)

Edited by: tinkcrzy1972 at: 6/12/02 10:12:42 pm

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P13
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2002 4:27 pm 
Iv just caught up with this fic and i think its great. Sad but great. Your last update had me in tears. Im glad Buffy got through to Willow, she needed to get through to her or we might have lost Willow altogether. Curious to see whats going to happen now. Looking forward to more.

Love Lolaxxx :love

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P13
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2002 8:43 pm 
Kudos on dealing with a very tricky, very painful topic sooooo kindly. I don't read nearly as much fanfic as I'd like. But I'm really lucky to have started this piece and will continue.

"O Let my name be in the Book of Love!
If it be there I care not of that other Book above.
Strike it out! Or write it in anew, but
Let my name be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kayam

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P13
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2002 10:46 pm 
This is great, sad, but great. Nice conversation between Willow and Buffy. I like the reassuring, best friend Buffy. Definitely glad to see more of that.


Oh, um... various sounds of

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P13
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2002 5:48 am 
Agreeing with the nice concerned Buffy. More of that. We should send this fic to ME - only AFTER Tara's back, and insist that they shoot that as the next season.


 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P13
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2002 4:30 pm 
Oh this story just keeps getting better and better but I think that I am in need of a box of tissues after that update.

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P13
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2002 4:43 pm 
Oh my god, I just teared up sitting here.... this is really good. When I lost someone really dear to me, I asked the same questions Willow is asking, wanting ot know if they were okay.

Again. this is really good. thanks for writing it!

 Post subject: The Wish -- P14
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2002 9:04 pm 
ANGST WARNING AHEAD. This part, definitely 15, and maybe 16 will be angsty. After that, I'll stop my sadism and get our girls back together. I don't mean to torture you, I just believe that the greater the angst, the sweeter the reunion. Or maybe not cuz W/T goodness minus angst is sweet too.

One more thing Kittens, this update is late because I started a new job last week and my schedule is crazy these days. So, sorry to say, but updates will be a little further apart then usual.

Thanks for you your comments, feedback, and patience Kittens. PEACE … Dix


"Are you sure you can pull it off?" asked the tall, fair skinned man as he handed over a large wad of bills.

"I said I could, didn't I? Chester always makes good." Came the reply as the greedy little man snatched at the money, only to have it pulled away at the last second.

"Yeah, Chester bloody well make good or Chester will find out what the 'Big Bad' is about." Spike flicked his lit cigarette at the man, "Got it?"

The slimy little man patted vigorously at his chest where the butt hit. "Ah, damn. No need to get testy. I can handle it."

"Good for you then, here." The former vampire handed over the thick stack of bills.

Chester's eyes lit up and his smile reached ear to ear, as he accepted the money. "Be at the airport tomorrow night. I'll meet you at the service station at eleven o'clock. If anyone asks, tell them that you're here to see me. You'll be on a plane by tomorrow, and in America the day after that." Said the crook as he tucked the money into his pocket and walked away.

Spike watched the man go as he leaned against the wall behind him. Chester tripped and cursed about the nick in his shoe before turning the corner and walking back to his car. The former vampire just shook his head as he pushed off the wall, "Wanker."

Now, what to do for the next 14 hours.

"I can't do this, Buffy."

The slayer rose from her seated position at the desk, trying to disturb as little as possible in the room. The dorm room and its contents were the only connection that Willow had left of Tara and Buffy didn't want to take anything away from that.

"Willow," she started comfortingly, "Can you not do it? You'll never forgive yourself if you don't go."

The redhead walked over to the bed and sat down carefully. She reached over and pulled Tara's pillow to her. She wrapped her arms around it, hugged it tightly and inhaled the scent of her lover that still clung to the material.

Willow looked up at her friend, her eyes fills with tears, as they had been the entire morning, "If I go … I have to say goodbye. A funeral makes everything permanent … it's final. It means it's really over. The end."

"But if you don't go, you never get to say goodbye and you can never get that chance back."

"Funerals have caskets." Willow said quietly as the tears poured down her cheeks.

"Yeah." The slayer answered equally quietly as she sat down on the floor next to Willow's legs.

"Caskets are for people who aren't alive any more … for people who are dead."

Buffy wiped at her eyes and nodded, not able to find her voice.

Willow stared blankly at the floor, "She's dead … Tara … she's gone and she's nev-"

"Willow," interrupted Buffy, not wanting her friend to start down that path.

The redhead let the rest of the sentence fade and she nodded. Willow stared down at her clenched hands for several minutes trying to force her mind from her current train of thoughts. Moments later she unclenched her hands and smoothed out the wrinkles on the pillow and carefully replaced it on the bed.

Buffy stood, "Willow, we should go."

The redhead sighed and then stood, her eyes still fixed on the pillow that Tara once used, but never would again.

"We have to be there by two."

Willow nodded and turned towards her friend and the door, pulling her eyes away from the bed. The redhead crossed the room behind her friend and stopped in the doorway, she turned and looked back one more time. Tears welled up in green eyes and Willow swallowed the lump in her throat before walking across the threshold and pulling the door shut behind her.

"Good afternoon, welcome to Milner's Funeral Home," said the funeral director as he stepped aside to welcome the gentlemen at his front door, "My name is Albert Lurch, how may I help you today mister…"

The short, tight featured man stepped into the funeral parlor followed by a younger version of himself, "Maclay, and I'm here about my daughter."

It was a dark, somber afternoon. The gray sky was barely visible behind the large, grim looking clouds that littered the sky. The occasional rumble of thunder would echo across the town, threatening to open up the sky and let the rain pour down. A cool wind seemed to whipping through and circling the town, it was an unusually cold May day in Sunnydale.

Buffy looked up at the dreary sky and sighed, it did seem fitting, she just hoped that it wouldn't rain until after the service. The slayer lowered her gaze when she heard approaching footsteps. Xander gave her a sad smile and a little wave as he moved down the walkway and up the steps to the porch of the funeral home.

The young construction worker walked to his friend and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into an embrace, "How goes it?" he asked softly.

Buffy just nodded against his chest, refusing to leave the hug.

"Did Giles handle everything okay?"

The slyer nodded and said something into her friends chest.

"Courtney Love?" her parroted, confused

The slayer turned her head slightly so she could speak more clearly, "Sort of. We had to drop all things Wicca from the service so Tara could have a 'Proper Christian Burial.' In exchange, the bastards don't try to take her back home. She gets to be buried in Sunnydale."

Xander bit off a curse and tightened his arms around his friend, "Is the loving family here?"

"Not yet," Buffy looked up, "How did things go with the police?"

"They think Warren just took off, they basically stopped by to ask what direction he ran. They didn't ask anything about dark eyed, magical revenge Willow."

"I guess that means that we're okay with the not getting arrested for murder then."

"I don't know if I'd call it murder, more like just-"

"Xander," Buffy warned pulling back.

The construction worker pulled his friend back to him, "I know. It's just the anger talking."

Buffy retreated to the embrace, "It's okay, I understand about anger."

"Is Willow here?" he asked, resting his chin on top of the cropped, blonde head.

"She's in there, but she hasn't gone into the viewing room yet. I think that, she thinks that as long as she doesn't see her, there's still a chance you know? It's like, Willow's pretending that she's here for someone else's funeral and not Tara's."

Xander pulled back and looked at his friend, "Maybe it's not such a good idea that she's here. I coul-"

"She has to be here." Interrupted Buffy as she stepped back and leaned against the porch rail. "Willow has to say goodbye."

"I hate this." Xander rubbed his hands over his face, irritated, "I so totally hate this."

Buffy opened her mouth to reply, when Dawn appeared in the doorway. The teen looked tired, and far older then her mere fifteen years. "She wants you … She's ready to go in."

The first thing you would notice when walking into the room would be the flowers. The substantial volume was enough to catch your attention, but if it didn't then their beauty would. There were foreign and exotic flowers, bouquets of roses, every color you could imagine, and a few you couldn't.

The arrangement of flowers and bouquets were almost enough to overshadow the misery that the coffin amidst it all represented. Almost, if you didn't know the young woman, in her eternal sleep, who lay in the coffin.

Willow had a death grip on the slayers bicep and it tightened even more when they stopped in the doorway of the viewing room. Buffy watched troubled green eyes fall on the coffin and Willow's breathing picked up and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"You going to be sick again?" the slayer asked when Willow brought her hand to her mouth.

Willow shook her head slowly and opened her eyes, "No."

"You don't have to do this now," offered the slayer, "We still have time."

"No," the redhead took a step further into the room, "I have to do this now … I want to see her, I need to."

"Willow, she's not-"

"I know." The hacker supplied quickly. "I know, but I still need to."

"Okay, "nodded Buffy and she moved forward, Willow moving with her.

The two friends slowly made their way across the room and stopped mere feet away. The slayer looked down at her friend, who had stopped their forward procession, "Willow?"

The redhead stared at the now very close, very real coffin. It was deep, so the only way to see the occupant was to step up next to it and look down. "Can you stay here?" the hacker asked quietly without moving her eyes from the casket.

Buffy looked at her friend, her eyes searching Willow's face, looking for any sign that the redhead was about to loose control and break down. But she couldn't see it, she couldn't see anything. The slayer had absolutely no idea what was running through Willow's mind, so she dipped her head and took a step back.

"I'll be right here."

If Willow heard her she didn't give any outward indication, other then removing her hand from the slayers arm.

Buffy stepped back and Willow stepped forward.


I know this was a rotten place to stop, but I wanted all of the Willow grieving over Tara stuff in the same part. Forgive me?

DMW – I'll get to 'Warrior Wiccan' soon. I can't wait to read it.

More soon, I promise.


 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P14
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2002 9:27 pm 
Dixon, of course you're forgiven. Especially if you go on writing stories that touch us as this one does. Congrats on the new job (it isn't at the Doublemeat Palace is it?)! And I agree--its the grief that makes the joy sweeter.

(And I'm really, really curious what's up with Spike)

"O Let my name be in the Book of Love!
If it be there I care not of that other Book above.
Strike it out! Or write it in anew, but
Let my name be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kayam

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P14
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2002 9:28 pm 
I'll forgive you because the angst was very well done. I thought that both Buffy's and Willow's thoughts about the funeral making Tara's death a reality were very perceptive and I have to sympathize will Willow's desire to avoid it. I was wondering who sent all the flowers though as it probably wasn't her family and I don't know if Willow could bear to accept the reality enough to do that beforehand.

I hope you like "Warrior Wiccan."

"Chemistrys easy. Its a lot like witchcraft, except less newt."

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P14
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2002 10:03 pm 
And the angst just keeps on coming. But that's ok, because it'll all be alright in the end, right? :) Great update.


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson

"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P14
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2002 3:45 am 
The grief again powerfully portrayed.

Very well done.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P14
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2002 5:27 am 
You weren't kiddin' with the angst...but it was written very well. Good luck with the new job!!


 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P14
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2002 6:31 am 
Oh God, all these 'Willow-grieving-Tara' fics on the pens bring back memories of my grandmother who past away six months ago... *sigh*

Death is a part of living, I know, and it's something we all must go through in live, but... I still want TARA back!!! (Grrr...)

I guess now I'm just grateful we still have wonderful fics like this one... *sniff*

Keep up the great writing!


"They kill mice, hmmm..."-Crazy Brain-Sucked Tara, Tough Love
"You mean like a 'sexy' peanut butter sandwich?"-Willow, No Matter Where You Go by DarkWiccan

 Post subject: The Wish -- P15
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2002 8:32 pm 

There is some major, serious ANGST in this part and it could be difficult to read.

Thanks for your comment Kittens, I'm glad to know that the angst isn't driving you away. The ANGST isn't over yet, this is a major angsty part and I hope that I managed to capture and portray the grief in a powerful yet respectful way.

(Work at the DoubleMeat? I wonder what kind of vegetarian would that make me? No, no DoubleMeat – I'm working as a nurses aid while I'm in college. And no, sadism is not my major, although, after this story one might wonder.)

PEACE ... Dix


Anya sniffled and used her well wrinkled tissue to wipe at her damp eyes.

The former demon was sitting alone in one of the large empty rooms of the funeral home. She sat in a large recliner near one of the rooms windows and was looking out into the dreary afternoon as she cried.

Anya dabbed at her eyes and cursed when the well used tissue fell apart in her hand, "Stupid, damned, lousy, cheep tissue's. What happened to the days when people use to have cloth handkerchiefs. This stupid world and it's stupid updated technology." Complained Anya as she pulled several more tissues from a nearby box.

"Let's make things easier, more convenient, more technolosized. Who needs cloth when we have tissues? Why use fishing poles and traps to hunt for food, let's invent more convenient guns to hunt. Idiots. Stupid lazy people and their damn conveniences. I never saw anyone get shot with a fishing pole. Bastards."

"Anya?" came a familiar voice from the doorway.

"Leave me alone Xander," snapped the irritated ex-demon. "I'm in the middle of a tirade."

The young man stepped into the room anyway and took a seat across from his former fiancé on one of the rooms two sofa's. "You can tirade on me."

Anya glared at the dark haired man for a minute, wanting to take her anger and frustration out on him. After all, he did offer. But the ex-demon realized that as upset as she was, it wasn't his fault, she was angry at the world, at the entire situation, not him.

"Never mind, forget it. I don't want to tirade any more."

"Okay," Xander paused, "Do you want a hug?"

The ex-demon stood up and looked very upset and Xander thought he had gone too far and was about to be on the ouch end of a new tirade. But Anya's anger faded away and the tears started again and she threw herself in her former fiancé's arms.

The watcher had been following the teen since she relayed Willow's message to her sister. Dawn had been walking around aimlessly for the past several minutes and Giles was about to approach her when she finally decided to sit down somewhere.

The teen found a quiet spot out of the way and sat down on the steps that led up to the funeral directors office. She pulled her legs up, wrapped her arms around them, and dropped her head to rest on her bent knees.

Giles watched to see if her body was shaking with sobs or the heavy breathing associated with crying, but the teen appeared to be simply resting. She probably didn't have a tear or sob left in her. The watcher reached up and readjusted his glasses before moving to sit down on the steps next to the young girl.

"It appears that everything turned all right." He started conversationally.

Dawn tilted her head to be able to speak, "Yeah, considering her rotten family showed up and tried to take her back to Hooterville, or where ever they're from."

"Well, yes."

"How'd you do that anyway? Convince them I mean?"

Giles looked around at the familiar and foreign faces milling about, "I told them that Willow was Tara's power of attorney and that they had no say in the matter, Tara's services would be held here and that was that."

"And that worked?"

"No," answered the watcher, "I had to agree to the Christian service and then pay them off."

The teen sighed, "I still can't believe that they're Tara's family."

"They're not … we are."

Dawn nodded and a lull formed in their conversation.

"The flowers are nice, Tara would have loved them." Dawn added a few minutes later.

"Yes well, I wanted to do something for Tara."

The teen sat up and scooted closer to the watcher who immediately wrapped an arm around her and drew her close. "You're not going back are you?"

Giles tightened his hold slightly, "I'm not leaving again."

The whole room smelled of flowers. But not the happy, frolicking in a field, wildflowers kind of smell. It was the 'we're sorry for your loss' kind of flower smell. There was also an underlying smell of burnt incense, but not the natural kind generally used in Wicca, something churchey.

Willow had taken the step that put her close enough to see inside the coffin, all she had to do was look down, her eyes still fastened straight ahead. The redhead steeled herself, trying to prepare herself to control the wave of emotions she felt building and knew were going to come crashing down on her when she lowered her eyes.

Deep breath followed deep breath, mantra followed mantra, and tears were held at bay as feelings ran rampart within the redhead. Willow inhaled, swallowed, closed her eyes and looked down. She was looking at Tara, all she had to do now was open her eyes and see her.

And she did.

Willow pushed her eyes open and a sob escaped her throat immediately. In that instant, the redhead knew that Tara really was gone. The body before was nothing more then that, just a body. It was nothing more then a shell that once held Tara's soul.

"Will?" Buffy asked from behind her friend.

"Buffy, can you clear the room for a few minutes?" the hacker asked, her voice shaky, and thick with emotion. The witch felt the slayer hesitate and she added, "Please. I'll be all right, I just need to…"

"Okay." The slayer said softly and went about ushering all of the people out of the viewing room.

Willow's gaze never left the sight within the coffin. Green eyes took in the familiar yet very different form before her. The redhead heard the people filing out of the room at Buffy's prompting and then she heard the door shut and she knew she was alone.

Really alone.

The tears that started the moment she looked into the coffin were slowed when they were wiped on a sleeve. Willow used other hand to reach into the coffin and touch Tara.

Willow delicately placed her fingers on Tara's forehead and moved them gently back and forth. The coolness of the skin almost made her withdraw her hand, but she couldn't. She had to make sure she had everything memorized first.

The fingers moved back and forth on the smooth forehead and Willow could see the small lines that would form wrinkles whenever Tara frowned or was deep in thought.

Fingertips trailed over one soft eyebrow and then the other before moving across the bridge of her nose that would wrinkle when Tara smiled.

Blue eyes were hidden behind the closed eyelids, but it didn't matter because Willow had them memorized the first time she ever saw them. Although she did wish that she could look into the azure depths at least once more.

Willow used one finger to brush against one cheek and then other. Next on the journey were Tara's lips.

"So soft." Whispered Willow as she ran her fingers over her girlfriends lips. The fingertip trailed to the side of the sleeping blondes mouth. The side that Tara would curl her lips to, creating her famous half-grin.

Willow pulled her finger down to Tara's chin and over the small indented scar there. It wasn't visible, you had to touch it to know it was there. She had acquired the scar when she fell off her bike when she was six.

The fingers trailed down the cool neck and stopped on Tara's pulse point.


The hand trailed along the neck onto Tara's chest and stopped above her heart. Willow opened her hand set her palm over Tara's heart.


Willow's face twisted in agony and her tears quickened their pace down her cheeks, spilling over and falling on to Tara's white dress before being absorbed into the material. The redhead sniffled and leaned into the coffin and hugged Tara the best she could.

Willow held on tightly and put her lips next to Tara's ear, "I love you. God baby, I love you. I love you so much … My Tara, I miss you so much. Please no, please Tara, no."

The redheads crying increased and her words became unintelligible as she squeezed the eternally sleeping blonde tighter, trying to will her back to her.

Long minutes later Willow's heavy crying had been reduced to sobbing softly as she continued to hold Tara's body tightly. "I love you." She whispered again in the blondes ear before pulling back.

Willow looked down at the sleeping form before her and ran her fingers through Tara's smooth blonde hair. The hacker smoothed out Tara's hair and ran her fingers through it for several minutes before finally withdrawing her hands and setting them on the edge of the coffin.

Willow leaned down and placed a long lasting kiss to the corner of Tara's lips. "Wait for me." She whispered before pulling back and reaching up to pull down the coffin lid.


(After this much angst, it can only get better, right?)

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P15
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2002 8:50 pm 
and now you have made me cry....

i think i am broken. *sniffle*

i need a hug. very well done angst and respect-wise... but now i'm gonna go curl up in my bed with my kitty...

Was a whirl, got to be a whirl

Was a girl, got have one too.

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P15
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2002 9:29 pm 
*sniff* That was so sad... Poor Will... I think we all need a hug now.


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson

"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P15
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2002 9:35 pm 

"O Let my name be in the Book of Love!
If it be there I care not of that other Book above.
Strike it out! Or write it in anew, but
Let my name be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kayam

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P15
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2002 9:38 pm 
Oh, *sniffle* that was SO sad...I need a hug now, too. Please tell me that you were saying that it is going to get better now. I just caught up on the last two updates...both angst-filled. Thank you for giving her death the respect that ME didn't. I do hope it gets better soon. :


"Pope John Paul today confirmed his opposition to gay marriages, said they're unnatural. Gay marriage is unnatural. Then he put on a pointy hat, his dress, and returned to never having sex at all." -Bill Maher

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P15
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2002 10:13 pm 
Grrrr... Now I'm all up in the ridden of the angst! Other than that, though, kudos for giving me yummy plot vibes!

Tyromancy-- The telling of fortunes using cheese.

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other: Are you all right? - No, I lost an electron! - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm positive!

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P15
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2002 10:22 pm 
ok... because i am in need of comfort myself, i am offering free hugs to any and all kitties who need them. cuz lord knows i'm stuck hugging my monitor at this point. (my kitty went to go play with her brother and is now infatuated with a box. feel the love)

Was a whirl, got to be a whirl

Was a girl, got have one too.

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