The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P18
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2002 3:18 am 
C, darling, my dear, love of my life. it seems we always meet this way. harassing across the board.

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P18
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2002 4:34 am 
B, my love,

yes, but we don't just meet, we are drawn towards each other, i can't help it and i'm sure you can't either, that's love - yep, we're the harassing couple and i like that. much :love to you.


PS: we still need an update.

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P18
PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 10:41 am 
Um...please? An update?

"O Let my name be in the Book of Love!
If it be there I care not of that other Book above.
Strike it out! Or write it in anew, but
Let my name be in the Book of Love!"

--Omar Kayam

 Post subject: The Wish -- P19
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2002 7:11 pm 
Hi Kittens,

SORRY, SORRY, SORRY for the VERY LATE update. I'll explain later as I'm posting on the go. Sorry again.



"How bad do you think it could be?"

"How bad?" Repeated the watcher. "Well, let's see. We have Spike, a chipped, but still very dangerous vampire with an obsession for my slayer, and Willow; a very powerful witch that has been touched by darkness and a depression so deep that she can't see right from wrong. The two of them have decided to team up, to do only heaven knows what and they're heading to Lord knows where… so I would say that odds are good that it could be quite bad."

"You know Giles," the slayer started wryly, "sarcasm's not exactly a weapon we can use right now. It's not particularly charming either."

"Yes, well, I need something to occupy my time while I await the impending doom."

"Are you going to be like this for the rest of the trip Mister Sunshine, cause if you are-"

"I don't mean to be… gloomy." The watcher said as he took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead, "I'm just worried about what may happen. We could be in serious danger, as could Willow. I don't want to loose anyone else."


Buffy leaned back in her plane seat and sighed, "Does it ever end Giles? Will things ever get better instead of worse for us?"

"I'm not sure I understand." Answered Giles as he finished cleaning his glasses and returned them to his face.

The slayer looked over at Anya and then Xander who were sitting apart, but sill close enough to talk if they wanted to. Dawn was curled up asleep in a chair a few seats away but you could still see the grief the girl carried. Buffy looked down at her hand, her right wrist would ache sometimes before it would rain. The slayer guessed the ache was created from all of the staking, the sword, axe and other assorted weapon yielding, and the ever so often hand to hand fighting too.

Buffy looked up to her watcher, "Look at our lives Giles. Ever since I became the slayer… things in my life have gotten worse and worse. And not just for me, for my friends, my family, and you too Giles. We've lost too many. And we've lost too much. I'm tired of sacrificing, and I'm certainly tired of them, "she waved her hands at the Scoobies, "having to do it. They can't even live their lives anymore without something evil or hellmouthey interfering."

"Buffy, it's not-"

"Yes it is." Interrupted the slayer. "If I wasn't the slayer Tara would still be alive… If it wasn't for that evil demon guy, Anya and Xander who should be together, would be together. Willow never would have lost herself in the dark magic if I didn't need her help, Dawn wouldn't be growing up all dysfunctional family and post traumatic stress girl if she wasn't in trouble every Tuesday. And me… well we have dying and the whole been there, done that theme. I've lost friends, family, and watched innocent people die. And then there's whatever the hell is going on with me and Spike. Was. I mean was, going on with Spike." Buffy paused and looked into her watcher's eyes, "I don't know if I can do this anymore Giles."

Giles took in a deep breath and reached for the young woman's hand, "Buffy, you do more… have been asked do more, far more than anyone ever should have to do. And you're doing it, your sacrifice has saved more then you'll ever know."

"But what does that mean for us, for me?" Buffy asked as she slumped down into her seat. "What are we supposed to do, keep sacrificing and keep dying until it's time to pass the buck. And then what, the few of us that survived can settle down somewhere to try and finally begin our lives. Then we'd probably die of heart attacks and strokes a month after we finally get settled."


"No," interrupted the slayer, "when this is over … when we find Willow and bring her back … they're all done. The hellmouth, me being the slayer… it's taken too much from them. I may have to live this life, if for no other reason to keep them all safe. I'll keep fighting … but them … they're done."

"I know how hard it is to come to terms with the idea that your life isn't your own. I know what it is to blame destiny and fate and the powers that be. But then something happened and I realized that as much as I loose and as much as I sacrifice … it's all worth it when I look at what I have gained."

"Gained?" Buffy parroted incredulously. "I don't know the hell you're talking about Giles, but I haven't gained anything. All I've done is lost."

"You have gained Buffy, more then you'll ever know. If evil and demons and monsters didn't exist then Xander and Anya never would have met. Anya would have lived and died long ago. If it wasn't for magic, Tara and Willow may never have met. If there were no such things as vampires then I wouldn't be a watcher and we never would have met either, nor would of you and Angel. And Buffy, if you weren't the slayer … you never would have been sent Dawn."

Buffy looked at Giles for a long moment before finally pulling her gaze away and nodding in acceptance. A silence fell over the pair and it was the slayer who finally spoke.



"The thing that happened… the thing that you gained… what was it?"


Her mind was a haze and she was only vaguely aware of her surroundings. She wasn't asleep, she rarely slept these days, but she wasn't fully awake either. Maybe she was in the place in between sleep and awake? Could you feel pain there, cause she did. But the pain was always there so who knew where she was. Lost in her own mind perhaps?

The jeep hit a deep hole and the vehicle jerked forcefully, snapping the dozing redhead awake.

Willow blinked several times and looked around leisurely from her spot in the back seat. It was dark, very dark, but the surrounding desert was clearly visible by the bright moon.

'Still en route. I wonder how much longer.'       

The redhead sighed and looked to the seat next to her where Spike was snoozing away. Willow studied the now human and soul having Spike. He didn't seem that different to her, maybe he had been a vamp too long?

'Maybe you can't change after so much time. Can you really come back from being evil? Or a murderer, a killer? I killed Warren. What does that make me? What does that make me and how will I tell Tara?'       

Willow stared at the platinum haired man for a moment longer before reaching over and nudging him awake, "Spike. Spike, wake up. How much longer?"

The blonde vamp shot an annoyed look at the redhead as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked around, "How should I bloody know. Ask one of the tour guides why don't you?"

"Because," huffed Willow, "They don't speak English and I certainly don't speak whatever language it is that they speak."

Spike rolled his eyes at the witch and leaned forward and mumbled a few words in a foreign language. The driver replied and the former vamp slumped back in his seat, "About two hours, now if you don't mind, I would like to get some sleep until then."

The former vampire wiggled around in his seat and attempted to find a comfortable position.


A frustrated sigh, "What?"

"There has to be another way."

"There's not."

"There has to be. Tara could never forgive me if we do this."

"If we don't do this, you won't have anyone who needs to forgive you."

"Spike," Willow turned in her seat and looked the man hard in the eye, "When you said a soul possession spell, I didn't think… Spike, I can't sacrifice Warren's soul."

Spike sat up and returned the look, "Sure you can. The bloke shot your bird, right through the heart. I bet that hurt like a bugger too. And to top it off he wasn't even sorry. The guy was a murderer plain and simple, what's wrong with sacrificing a tainted soul?"

Willow's eyes narrowed and started to blacken, "Leave her out of this Spike, you only care if I get Tara back because you need to. If it didn't help your cause we wouldn't be here."

"Wait just a bloody minute," bristled Spike.

"Don't get indignant with me William. You're only helping me because you think it'll get you closer to Buffy. Well I got news for you, she doesn't want you, she doesn't love you. With or without a soul, she never will."

Spike's face contorted with anger and he lashed out, punching the steel back of the drivers seat. "Ouch, dammit." The former vamp cradled his injured hand and glared at the woman next to him. "You American women are as mean as damn snakes. You send a bloke mixed messages, expect us to read your bloody thoughts, you can never make up your minds but expect us to know exactly what you want, and then, when we give you what we both know you want, you're still not happy."

Willow stared back at the man next to her, "Spike, what are you talking about?"

"I don't know. You've got me so damn mad that I can't even think straight right now." Spike took a breath and paused before continuing, "I do to care about Blondie. She's one of the few of you that I do like. You've got some nerve telling me that I don't care."

"You care?" Willow parroted incredulously.

"Of course I do, I saved her from her family didn't I?"

The redheads brow furrowed, "Why? Why do you care?"

"Well," Spike began as he flexed the knuckles on his sore hand, "A few reasons really. She's a good lady, that bird of yours. She takes good care of the niblet for one. Standing up to Glory ain't the easiest thing, trust me on that one. She's always been good to me and gives a guy the benefit of the doubt. And even if she didn't do those things I'd still help you. She means too much to Buffy for me not to."

Willow stared at Spike like she had never seen him before and that he just told her that he found Giles attractive.

"What? It's true." Spike asked with offense. "And Buffy, I love her. Being in love means you do things like that."

"You might love her, but do you know how to love?"

Spike shook his head in frustration, "Women and their bloody riddles."

"No riddle Spike, it's really simple actually."

"Oh yeah," the platinum haired man pulled his cigarette out of his pocket and lit one up, "Enlighten me 'O woman one'."

"By helping me get Tara back you're hoping to gain Buffy's favor."

"It could be one of the fringe benefits, yeah. Why not?"

"You could do anything or give her anything … but it doesn't mean anything if you don't have anything to offer her."

"Sounds like a riddle to me." The former vamp mumbled around his cigarette.

"How old are you Spike? How old is Buffy? You were a vampire so long … do you even know what it is to be human anymore? I mean, what can you offer Buffy? A home? A family? What are you going to do Spike, get a job and settle down? Do you even know what Buffy wants?"

A heavy silence fell over the pair as they exchanged a long look. It was Spike who finally spoke, ending the quiet.

"We go through with the original plan. There can't be any changes or surprises. You do your soul possession-transfer whatever spell and get Warren's soul into my body while I deal with the demon master. Just make sure that it's Warren's soul that he takes and not mine."

"Spike we can't-"

"Do you know of a better way?"


"It's what I thought. Now, how about stuffing it and let me get some sleep before my fight to the death huh?"

Willow nodded and Spike flicked his cigarette away, slumped down in his seat and closed his eyes.

The redhead readjusted herself in her seat and looked out into the desert night.

Less then two hours to make a decision.'


 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P19
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2002 7:40 pm 
The Wish is back! I really liked both the Buffy/Giles and Willow/Spike conversation. Buffy is having the reaction now that she should have had at the end of season 6 and I'm impressed to see Spike actually offering up something meaningful as a sacrifice for his love.

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit. "   "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P19
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2002 7:54 pm 
Great update I really liked the Spike/Willow interaction and I am looking forward to finding out if the spell to bring back Tara's soul works.

You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P19
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2002 8:44 pm 
Oh wow!! I had actually forgotten about this fic. I am so glad it's back! I hope this means there won't be another month wait for an update. I mean, I'm sure there was a good reason, and it's all good, I mean "yay! update!" but, ya know....anywho! woohoo!

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P19
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2002 1:50 am 
Glad to see an update of this.

I think that was a much needed conversation between Giles and Buffy. Might snap her out of being so self-absorbed, and lead to her being more responsible where Dawn is concerned.

Interested to get more detail as to what Willow and spike are up to.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P19
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2002 11:05 am 
Ooh, we are getting closer. Spike here is what he should have been.. but never was on the show. And Willow has an excellent point about love, it was expressed in a way I had not seen applied to this situation.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Tara's eyes once again found Willow's in the rearview mirror. "Don't worry. I've got your back.
And Jimmy Gorka's loss is my gain."         - Willow grinned.

The Wisdom of War - Christopher Golden

 Post subject: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2002 6:00 am 
Hey Kittens, long time no posts. I’m SO sorry about the long delays lately but my life took a quick turn to crap for a while. It’s not out of the toilet yet, but it’s better then what it was.

To make a long story short, my previously understanding mother recently got less understanding (she’s gotten heavily into her religion and the Bible lately). There were fights and arguments and her praying that I be released from my “bondage.” The “bondage” line was the final straw. I packed up a few things and left with nothing more then a few bucks in the bank. (I’m in college - so I’m poor) I was bouncing between places to stay, I was homeless and PC less and me and my mom weren’t talking – it was a bad time.

But, I’m finally getting settled (I’m staying w/ a friend) but between 2 jobs and school … my time is still kind of limited. My time is limited but I want to finish this story before the season premiere (I’ll explain later). So, thank you, thank you, thank you - for patience and your feedback Kittens…

Peace … Dix


“Is this seat taken?”

Anya turned her gaze from the window of the plane to her former fiancé. “You can sit down Xander. I think I’m over being angry at you.”

“Well, I guess that could be step one to stairs we have to climb to being friends again.”

The former demon just rolled her eyes at Xander’s terminology, “I guess it could be. But we have a lot of steps to go.” She added.

“As long as you’re willing to climb, I walk up as many steps as I have to. I mean, if we both climb the sides of the mountain, we’re bound to meet at the top, right?”

Anya turned in her seat and stared up at Xander, “Where are you getting this stuff from?”

The contractor dropped his head but kept his eyes on the former demon, “It’s TV’s fault. Don’t you like it?”

“Just talk normally okay? Or I’ll push you off of that mountain of yours.”

“Hey, if you’re there to push me, then it means we climbed it together-“ A look from Anya stopped any further explanation, “Sorry.”

“Xander sit down and quietly enjoy being in my company. I’m busy thinking and you’re interrupting.”

The young man dropped down into the seat and made the motion of locking his lips and throwing away the key. He really was happy just to be allowed in his former fiancé’s company again.

"A double date? For a whole weekend?" Willow repeated unhappily. "Honey-"

"Before you try getting us out of it," Tara interrupted her pouting lover, "I all ready promised Anya, so we're going."

Willow groaned, "But a double date? Honey we live together, isn't living together beyond the dating stage? And a whole weekend … with Anya and Xander? Tara they'll sex us to death."

The blonde frowned at the mental image. Tara shuddered and shook off the thought, "It's not like that. We're just going to get away. Just two couples going to spend some quality time together."

"Sex is what Anya and Xander do in their quality time and I really don't want to be sleeping ten feet away from them while their having it. I mean, eww."

Tara walked over to the closet and pulled out two duffel bags, dropped them on the bed and started packing the things they would need.

"Honey, Xander and Anya are not going to be having sex the entire weekend. Anya isn't real keen on the naked in nature idea. She's too worried about 'creepy crawlers and little bugs and 'critters' getting in… 'sensitive areas.' So, I wouldn't worry too much about a sex fest this weekend okay."

"Fine," huffed Willow as she flopped down onto the bed only to shoot up a moment later. The redhead shot a look at her partner, who she startled with her sudden move, "Wait a minute, just cause Xander and Anya aren't … we can have a sex fest though can't we?"

Tara just shook her head at her insatiable lover, "And you were worried about them sexing us to death. It'd be the other way around if you had your way."

"Well," surmised Willow as she flopped back down, "It's your fault. You walk around looking all gorgeous and smelling all yummy Tara like … How can I resist that, huh?"

Tara blushed and looked down, "Is there anything else you want to take with us?"

"Tara," the redhead called as she slipped off the bed and moved to her girlfriend, "After all this time you still don't believe it? You still don't know?"

The blonde wiccan stopped packing their clothes and she didn't look up when she felt the arms go around her waist and the familiar body press up against her from behind.

"Know what?" she asked quietly.

"How beautiful you are." Answered Willow, her hot breath washing over lover's neck, "How beautiful I think you are." The redhead used her hands to rub Tara's hips and stomach, "How much I love your body."

The redheaded witch dropped several light kisses on her girlfriend's neck and reached up, "I love your blue eyes," eyelids fluttered closed and she ran her fingertips over the closed lids. Willow ran the back of her knuckles over the nearest cheek, "I love your soft, smooth skin." A thumb brushed across a set of lips, "I love your full, soft lips.” She whispered. “So soft.”

Willow trailed her hand down Tara's neck, down her chest, over her stomach and came to rest, once again, on her hips. "I love to touch you… to feel you… to taste you… to be inside you."

The redhead used her hands on her hips to turn her girlfriend to face her. Willow leaned in and the couples lips met and the women shared one of the softest, most meaningful kisses they had ever experienced.

The kiss finally ended and pair just stood, holding each other, staring into each others eyes. It was Willow who finally ended the gaze by pulling Tara closer and guided the blonde into a musicless dance.

"You're my everything Tara … my always." Willow spoke softly against the blonde's ear. "I love you."

Willow felt the tears sting her eyes and she knew Tara was crying too because the blonde's tears were splashing against her neck and shoulder. Tara closed the small space between them and hugged the redhead tightly.

It was several minutes later when the wiccan finally pulled back from the hug, but not out of the embrace. The couple continued dancing and swaying without music, without music that is until Tara started humming and then singing softly.

'I hadn't anyone … till you. I was a lonely one .. till you. I use to lie awake and wonder, if there could be … a someone, in this wide world, just meant for me, now I see, I had to save my love for you.

I'd never gave my love, till you. And through my lonely heart demanding it, Cupid took a hand in it … I hadn't anyone, till you.

I had to save my love, for you. I'd never gave my love, till you. And through my lonely heart demanding it. Cupid took a hand in it, I hadn't anyone … till you.'

Even after she ran out of lyrics, Tara continued to hum the tune as they danced alone in their room.

Willow smiled and hugged her girlfriend closer to her as they danced. She ran her hands up and down Tara's back, occasionally reaching up to tangle her fingers in the long, silky blonde hair. She would wrap the golden tresses around her fingers and feel it’s smooth texture against her skin.

The couple’s slow dance began to end and Tara stopped singing as they stopped moving. They didn’t release each other, in fact, they each other tighter. The blonde wiccan leaned in and buried her face against her lovers neck and just let herself enjoy the feeling of being held.

The cradling of her lover was one of Willow’s favorite positions, it was just harder to accomplish with her slightly taller girlfriend while they were standing.

“Hey,” Willow said softly as she nudged the blonde, “Why don’t we lay down for a little while? You know, say goodbye to sleeping on a mattress for the next few days.”

Tara smiled as she pulled back, leaving her arms draped over her lovers shoulders, “I love you.” And she leaned in and dropped a soft kiss on her lover’s lips. “I would love to lay down for a while … but I can’t. I have to finish packing and I then I want to take a nice, long bath. You know, say goodbye to the tub for a few days.”

Tara kissed Willow once more and stepped out of the embrace and moved back over to the bed to finish packing their things.

“You know,” piped up Willow who followed her girlfriend over to the bed, “I should probably say goodbye to the bathtub too. I wouldn’t want her to feel like I was ignoring her or anything.”

“Oh, well we couldn’t have that.”

“Want me to get the bathroom ready while you finish up?”

Tara nodded as she folded one of her lover’s sweatshirts, “I’ll be right in love.”

A huge smile broke out on Willow’s face and she headed for the bathroom, reaching out to give Tara’s shapely backside a little pinch as she did, “Hurry.”

“Let’s go.”

A pause.

“Let’s go,” came a male voice that wasn’t Tara’s.

Willow’s brow wrinkled in confusion as she tried to figure out what was going on.

“We don’t have all bloody night, let’s go.”

Spike’s voice cut into Willow’s daydreaming memory haze and the witch looked up at the former vampire.

“Well, are you coming or not?” Spike asked from the mouth of the cave. “You either go in and bring your bird back, or you turn around and go home. What’s it going to be witchey?”

Willow looked up with determination written on her face, “Let’s do it.”

And the two disappeared into the dark cave.


 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2002 6:14 am 
Sending hugs your way Dixon

Just talk normally okay? Or I’ll push you off of that mountain of yours Xander must have been at the self help books. I love Anya!

Willow's dream was lovely, but so very sad. But she has her resolve face on, she's going to get her girl!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2002 8:18 am 
Oh, Dixon, I'm so sorry you had to put up with that nonsense. But at least you're taking some positive steps and building what you need. *sigh* Keep your spirits up! Let me know if there's anything I can do!

Meanwhile I'll just heap some praise on your story-writing skills, Okay?

"O Let my name be in the Book of Love!
If it be there I care not of that other Book above.
Strike it out! Or write it in anew, but
Let my name be in the Book of Love!"

--Omar Kayam

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2002 8:44 am 
Welcome back, and with a great update to boot.

Liked Anya admonishing Xander to "talk normally". But, he trying to make things right & at least he didn't spout about a yellow crayon.

The remembrance was simply beautiful. Loved the way Willow reassured Tara & told her how & how much she loved her. Then Tara singing to her as they danced, so beautifully set. You really captured them there. Also liked the detail of Tara being able to pack for Willow. It shows a different level of comfort & intimacy.

On a separate note, so sorry to hear that RL has been so rough. How ironic it is, when love of religious doctrine clouds a person's ability to accept & love. Good thoughts be w/ you, & Blessed Be.


"If I could, then I would, I'll go wherever you will go. way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go."~The Calling

"Find peace in yourself & others will follow" ~ Sappho

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2002 9:11 am 
great update. i liked Willow's dream about Tara. nice to see Xander trying to make up with Anya, but she's right, he should talk normal and lay off the cheesy lines

Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!

Fucking Windows 98, get Bill Gates in here!

2nd place??? That's just a fancy term for loser!

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2002 11:11 am 
WB, and that's just really terrible about your mother. I wish you luck.

The fic is awesome. The memories of Tara flooding Willow right before the decision are perfect. We have no doubt here why she is doing it. Thanks again.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2002 11:14 am 
Great update. Willow's dream was so sweet yet so sad in the context of the story. They will be together again, right? :(



"That was just rude. Now I forget what I was saying."

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2002 12:20 pm 
Thanks for the update--I got completely lost in Willow's daydream and forgot where she was too. That worked really well. Sorry to hear about the problems with your mother.

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit. "   "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2002 2:08 pm 
My english isn't good enough to find the right words for it, therefore all I can say is:This. Is. Wonderful.

May I ask you to think about writing two different endings? One suitable for the Pen, one for hmm - somewhere else? Because after your "epyphany", you did something very interesting: you told a real story about grief. Not with big words, but with little gestures (and to be honest, I had to skip some paragraphs because it was *too* real, too intense). But you also told a story about what a soul like Tara's leaves behind. The small but important changes in all the persons (ie Dawn, Buffy), the scoobies getting closer together again and start to forgive each other, learn that they need each other and that they have to take care. Again, no big words, but little gestures.

Though I don't have any hopes for Willow right now (but I don't doubt that you could find a way...), I would really like to read a realistic ending - without any supernatural solutions, without bringing Tara back. But still with hope in it. Maybe a somewhat even more meaningful kind of hope for some of your readers (well, at least for one of them ;) ).

I wouldn't ask if you hadn't already gone into this direction, with ex-demon Anya and ex-vampire William for instance. So think about it, and if you don't like the idea, just forget it - I'll be happy with every update to this great story.

And no matter what you do, you'll have to write a happy ending for this board - you made a promise. :) And I can't wait to read it - 'cause I need that kind of hope, too.

just a straight dog - just a fan :)

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2002 2:32 pm 
Glad to see you back and hope things are going a bit better. Thanks for such an amazingly sweet update.

Because he's with Willow. And if something ... happened, I'd know...
Insist upon yourself and never imitate. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2002 10:01 pm 
oh wow.....i picked a good fic to start i'm still crying. this is beautifully written, and so true to the characters and to the way things should have been on the show post seeing red.....very angsty, but very well done. i like a little kitten written angst every now and then. makes the happy endings that much better.

((hugs)) on the the mom situation....that's definitely not a good time. glad you're doing better though. hope you have a chance to update soon!! i love this fic!! thank you :)

*please use both hands....*

 Post subject: The Wish -- P21
PostPosted: Sun Sep 08, 2002 7:18 am 
Okay, here’s Part 21, and it’s shorter then all of the other parts. It’s shorter because one of the ‘main’ scenes is next and I didn’t want to split it.

Many, many, many thanks for the support w/ the mom issues. It’s going to take more time, but we’re doing better though. She’s trying to understand and I’m trying not to be suspicious of her “understandingness.”

One more thing Kittens, I am SO sorry that I haven’t been able to update regularly. It drives me crazy that I can’t – my time is just so limited right now, especially since school started back up. And this year I’m playing a sport and holding down 2 jobs… But this fic is special to me and I want it to play out (for me and all of you who have stuck with it). So, I promise that I am going to try and find more time for ‘The Wish.’

Thanks Kittens … Dix


“How far behind them do you think we are?” Buffy asked as she dropped into the seat next to her watcher and surveyed the rugged, desert terrain as they drove through the late night.

“Not long,” Answered Giles as he looked up from a text he was trying to read with a pen light, “Apparently they were caught up in some bad weather and it slowed their progress a bit. With any luck, we won’t be more then a few hours behind them.”

“It won’t be a few hours too late will it?”

“I hope not.”

“Giles,” Buffy sighed, “Are you sure Willow’s going to do the soul sacrifice thing? I mean, are you absolutely certain that Willow can’t use the same spell she did to bring me back?”

“I am sure that the spell that worked on you, will not work for Tara. I am not certain of what Willow is going to try and do, but from what Clem told us and from what we’ve learned so far … it seems likely that Willow will attempt to sacrifice Warren’s soul in an attempt to gain Tara’s back.”

“Could that work?” asked Buffy “I mean, do all souls have an equal value. Or is a good soul like Tara’s worth more then Warren’s lousy murdering, thieving, vengeful soul?”

“As unfair as it may seem, a soul is a soul is a soul. There are exceptions, but only in the most extraordinary of cases.”

“Giles, the unordinary, extraordinary, and impossible happen to us all of the time are you sure-“

“I am.”

“So, Willow could really exchange Warren for Tara?” asked Buffy thoughtfully.

“Yes.” Giles answered simply. “If all of the requirements were met and the challenges passed, then yes.”

“So what happens to Warren’s soul? I mean, say Willow does the switch, what happens to Warren?”

“Who cares,” came a new voice, “I saw we let Willow do it. Who cares what happens to Warren, we’ll have Tara back he deserves whatever he gets.” Added Dawn who’s stealthy approach went unnoticed by the slayer and the watcher until the teen spoke.

Buffy cringed internally, “Dawn, you don’t mean that.”

“No, I do mean it.” The teen countered angrily, “I’ve never meant anything more in my life.”

“Dawn, we’ve been over this al-“

“No,” the teen interrupted the slayer, “You’ve been over it Buffy. You’ve been all over it; telling me that the ‘human world has it’s own rules’ and ‘we can’t control the universe’ and talking about limits. Why don’t you limit yourself from Willow’s business. Just because you think that you don’t have the right to do anything, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t.”

Okay, that stung. It hurt, but the slayer new it was coming. Anger was part of the grieving process and the anger usually landed on the person closest to you.

“I won’t let Willow destroy herself, Dawn. I’ll do whatever I have to, to save Willow from herself.”

“It’s not Willow you’re trying to save Buffy, it’s Warren.”


“No,” The teen spat angrily, “This whole damn mission has been about saving Warren and I’m sick of it. He’s a murderer Buffy! Nobody but you cares what happens to him!”

“Dawn, magic is not meant-“ Giles tried to intercede.

“I can’t believe that you two can sit there and talk about what magic should and shouldn’t be used for. I think you’re both a couple of hypocrites.

“That’s enough Dawn.” Ordered the slayer as she stood up and faced her sister. “You’re still grieving and the lines between right and wrong are kind of blurry for you right now. We’re here to save Willow, we don’t have time for this.”

Dawn laughed humorlessly, “You’re not here to save Willow. You’re here to stop her. You’re here to save Warren. I’m here because you wanted me close by in case the world ends.”

“Dawn,” the slayer tried again, only to be interrupted again.

“Buffy,” the teen shook her head in defeat, “I wish you could understand. If we can get Tara back … everything will be okay … she can save Willow … she can save us all.”

“Dawn, you know that’s not true.” The slayer said softly, wishing she could make it happen, and wishing it could be true.

The teen just looked at her sister for a long moment, “I’m routing for Willow.” And with that she turned and walked back to her seat, several rows away on the safari bus.

Buffy watched her sister walk away and after a moment the slayer dropped down and slumped in her seat. “How much does my life suck?” she mumbled to herself.

“She just needs time.” Said Giles. “I’m sure she’ll come around.”

The slayer looked back at her sister and then over to Anya and Xander who looked away when she made eye contact. They looked away and Buffy knew that they agreed with her sister, at least on some level.

Buffy dropped her head and sighed.

“What would you do Tara?” she asked herself quietly.


just a straight dog – Your idea of a different ending got me thinking (that could be dangerous). I can’t make any guarantees, but I think, if time permits that I might give it a shot.

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P21
PostPosted: Sun Sep 08, 2002 9:14 am 
Nice update. I liked Dawn's thoughts about Willow and how they seemed to get Buffy to doubt.

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit. "   "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P21
PostPosted: Sun Sep 08, 2002 11:49 am 
Yippee! Another update!

Yeah, I sympathize with Dawn. But then, I often do.

"O Let my name be in the Book of Love!
If it be there I care not of that other Book above.
Strike it out! Or write it in anew, but
Let my name be in the Book of Love!"

--Omar Kayam

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P21
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2002 12:17 am 
I'm so glad that Dawn is there. No-one else seems to be willing to argue with Buffy, who is always convinced that she's right. Although its interesting how she then wonders what Tara would do. I think on some level she accepts what Dawn is saying about how Tara's return could make everything better.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P21
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2002 2:14 pm 

oooww....I actually like dawn in this fic.

Heck, I agree with everything she said. Maybe Buffy could explain to me why it is soooo wrong to trade the soul of Warren for Tara if Warren shot Tara, making the entire switch nessecary, in the first place.

Hmm...I wonder if someone shot didn't I see that somewhere around season3 ??

The only possible reason NOT to do such a switch is because Tara herself *might* disagree with it. She's way to nice/sweet for this world (and most definitly Sunnydale,CA) anyway.


"Willow’s magic got out of control, and your response was to fight her with even more magic.Do you make a habit of putting out fires with gasoline?" Tara to Giles -- Mission Statement (ch9.5) by Bagheera

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P21
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2002 3:03 pm 
great update. have to agree with Dawn, Warren's soul isn't worth squat.

Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!

Fucking Windows 98, get Bill Gates in here!

2nd place??? That's just a fancy term for loser!

 Post subject: The Wish
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2002 7:32 pm 
Wow ! I really hope I know where you're going with this, because I don't want to be wrong about it. The only problems I see were 1)Why did Spike come back from the trip evil again ? That'sa quibble. 2)The big problem is D'Hoffryn and the whole power-of-the-wish thing. D'Hoffryn is an evil type of guy and he doesn't make women into Vengeance Demons to help situations, he makes them to increase the amount of misery in the world. How is he going to react to Anyanka using her power to bring about happy endings ?

 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P20
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2002 6:14 pm 
wow that was a really good update thank u i really like this fic

The word "gulp" comes to mind.

 Post subject: The Wish -- P22
PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2002 7:22 am 
Hi, remember me? I know it's been a while, and for anyone who can remember a fic called 'The Wish' here is the next part.

I really am so sorry for the long delays kittens. Who would have thought that college can keep you so busy. They make you read and stuff, what's up with that.

Anyway, on to the fic. Right after I thank you and tell you that I love kittens. PEACE ... Dix


Spike hit the ground with an audible thud and he groaned loudly as all of the air was pushed from his now oxygen needing body. Before the former vampire could even push himself to his knees, a strong kick to the face snapped his head back and small black dots began to invade his vision as he struggled to remain conscious.

“I should of assumed this would be harder the second time around,” Spike muttered as he pushed himself to his feet and blocked the fist aimed for his face. “I should have known that you’d be uglier then the last guy too.” Taunted the former vamp as he managed to land a few hits on his much larger, much stronger opponent.

Willow watched from her hiding place, pressed up against the cool wall of the cave, as Spike and the demon battled it out. The former vamp was holding his own surprisingly well considering he no longer had the added strength of the undead.

Spike took a couple more hits and the redhead was starting to get worried that not only would the former vamp not win, but that he might also end up dead… er … Deader. No, dead. Whatever.

What happened if he lost? Or worse yet, if he won. Willow would actually have to make the decision of whether or not to sacrifice Warren’s soul. She thought she had the decision made when she followed Spike into the cave, she was going to do it. To hell with Warren and his stupid, evil, murdering soul. Who cares what happens to him.

Tara would.

Well, maybe not about Warren himself, but she would definitely care that someone lost their soul. She would care even more so that Willow was the one who had been the cause. How was she going to explain that to Tara? That and the evil, vein ey, dark magic murdering Willow?

‘Get her back here. Bring her back and then worry about the explanations and the dark magic withdraws and the murdering and the everything else that I messed up.’ Thought Willow as she watched the action in front of her. ‘Whatever happens, Tara needs to be here.’

“Enough!” roared Spike as he tossed his attacker violently off of his back. “This game has gotten very damn old very damn fast. I’m through playing,” growled the former vamp as he advanced on his opponent.

Willow knew that Spike had been granted back his soul and that he was no longer a vampire. But after the beating he laid on the demon over the next few minutes … she had to wonder.

Spike finished off the attack with several crushing kicks to the head before reaching down and snapping the demons neck, just to be sure.

The demon was dead; and with an attitude that was half smug, half exhaustion the blond man pushed himself to his feet. “He dead enough for you lurkey?”

“You desire the return of a soul?”

Spike nodded, “Yeah, and I’ve done what you’ve asked, so make with it all ready.”

“You desire the return of a soul as well … witch?”

Willow froze.

“You cannot offer me that of which belongs to another.”

‘His soul belongs to someone else?’ Willow’s mind screamed, ‘Who in the hell does Warren’s soul belong to?’

“Dammitt bloody hell!” cursed Spike.

“A soul must be exchanged if you want the sorceress returned to you?” declared the demon master.

“Tara’s a sorceress?” came an oddly familiar voice from behind them.

Willow spun around and came face-to-face with Anya. Anya, Xander, Giles, Dawn and Buffy.

“What are-“

Buffy looked up at Willow and the witch new that not only did they know about her plan, but they came to stop her. But they didn’t. Instead they watched and waited for her to exchange Warren’s soul for Tara’s.

“Use mine.” Said Giles stepping forward and staring at the demon master. “Take my soul in exchange for Tara’s.”

“Giles, no!” echoed the walls in stereo as both Willow and Buffy spoke.

“Giles, you can’t.” said Willow as she approached the watcher and looked up at the man who was willing to sacrifice his life for Tara’s.

The watcher reached out and cupped the redheads cheek with a gentle hand, “Tara’s place is here. I’m an old man Willow. I’ve lived my life. And it was my actions, or lack there of that led to all of this. If not for me Tara would still… I need to do this Willow.”

Tears sprung to pained green eyes, “I can’t let you do this. We need you Giles. We need you and it would kill to Tara to know that she was the reason that you… You can’t Giles.”

“Well I can’t do it.” Piped Anya. “I’m all demoney again.”

Xander raised his hand, “Um, would you accept a boy soul in return for a girl soul? I mean, it has to be like an equal switch though, I don’t think Willow would like Tara to come back with a penis or anything.”

“Xander, shut up.” Ordered Anya. “You’re not going anywhere. You have to keep your soul so you can stick around and suck up to me and buy me many gifts for many months so I can forgive you. And no one’s getting your penis.”

A silence fell over the crowd in the cave. Even the demon master seemed to be at a loss of words.

“So how about a slayer soul?” asked Buffy. “Or should I just kick his ass and make him give us Tara’s soul? You think I could take him Giles?” the blonde whispered to her watcher, who shook his head negatively causing the slayer to frown.

“What are former keys worth?”

“NO!” screamed everyone of the Scoobies.

“Absolutely no.” added Buffy glaring at her sister.

“You’re bloody damn right no.” declared Spike as he approached the group of Scoobies. “Leave.”

“Spike, what are you-“

“I SAID LEAVE.” Roared Spike, interrupting Willow. “Everybody out.”

Anya shrugged and grabbed Xander and pushed him towards the mouth of the cave. Buffy gave Giles a look indicating that he should take Dawn and leave, which he did. Willow stayed behind as did Buffy.

“You too, Red.” Said Spike as he stared at the blonde.


“I’ll take care of it,” he pulled his gaze away from the slayer and looked at the redhead, “I promise. Now get.”

Willow held the former vamps look for a long moment before dipping her head and walking slowly towards the exit.

“Spike, what are you doing?” asked Buffy once they were alone.

The platinum haired man stepped closer to the slayer and reached up to touch her face. The slayer flinched away slightly but Spike’s hand followed.

“I really did you love you, you know?” he asked softly as he ran his hand down her cheek.

“I know.” Buffy answered quietly. “But I-“

“Shh…” interrupted Spike. “I know.”


“We’re all made up of pieces you know. But me, some of those pieces just don’t fit together quite right anymore. When things don’t fit together right they just…” Spike sighed and pulled his hand back and stepped away from the slayer. “You should go now.”

“But what if-“

“Leave slayer.”

Buffy took one long, last look at the man staring at her before she turned and walked away.

Spike watched the slayer disappear from the cave. He closed his eyes and sighed, “If you love something…”

“Let it go.” Supplied the demon master who had been quiet through the entire exchange.

“Right.” Said Spike who was still looking at the tunnel that the slayer had disappeared through. Spike sighed once more before taking a breath and turning around, “Speaking of letting go, I believe I have something that belongs to you.”


 Post subject: Re: The Wish -- P22
PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2002 8:12 am 
Hey Dix,

So glad to see you back.:D Hope RL is doing better. So they still make you do all that reading & stuff in college. Who'd of thunk it? Well stick with it, RL has to come first, regardless of how many are waiting for your updates. ;) Especially when you leave us at such a precipice of change.


"In the evening of life we shall be judges on love."

Madeleine L'Engle

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