This just keeps getting better and better! I love how you are weaving in all the different aspects of the story, piecing them together in such a cool way. Can't wait for more!

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You ARE Magic ~ Tara

What a heartbreaking flashback!
Poor Dawn, having to see Xander getting killed, find Giles' body and see Faith getting stabbed in close succession. And on top of all these traumatic experiences she had to hear afterwards from Willow that Buffy was killed too - and to assume that her death must have been especially gruesome and / or painful because of Willow's refusal to tell any details about it.


I strongly fear that Tara will have to witness Buffy's death as well when she "goes in" to save Willow.
There is one thing that puzzles me about Willow being the only one of the time travelers to know how Buffy died: why didn't the first gloat about it to Dawn and Faith (or to Willow in front of the others) to torment them?


I love Anya as the much needed bringer of a little comic relief!


Xander joking about this sitauation coul be expected, but Giles joining in was a pleasant surprise for me.


Ohoh! The plot thickens even more! I expect Dawn to insist she'll get to be the second caster, but will Buffy, Tara and Faith let her?

Chapter 17~

“I’ll do it.”

A round chorus of ‘No’ came around from the group, Faith included. The only one who hadn’t spoken against Dawn's statement was Melody, who just stood quietly.

“There’s gotta be a way I can do this myself. No one else is being put at risk,” Tara was adamant, but both Giles and Melody shook their heads.

“Tara, I understand your predicament, but this particular problem is very complex,” Giles began, having known the reaction would be coming, “A realm… we are just going to assume that’s what we are dealing with. First off, finding it in the billions that there could possibly be is going to be extraordinarily difficult. This spell eliminates the possibility of getting lost, as it will directly follow Willow’s path, assuming there is one. Second, the realm was created out of a side aspect of Willow ‘s timeline, due to her being its creator. She wasn’t able to hold her attention on its creation because she had to focus herself on the timeline she would be sending them down and subsequently trapping herself in it. More than likely, she has no control over this place. If you want any sense of control in this realm, you’ll need to focus on the spell your doing. Someone else has to focus on the energy output and keeping you anchored to us. There are other spells, Tara, but this one has the most likely possibility of success.”

Buffy put her hand on Tara’s shoulder, “I’ve listened to all of their mumbo-jumbo, Tara. It’s a sound argument. It’s either this spell, or let her go.” The last part was said in a whisper.

Tara stood up, “Then you didn’t look hard enough!” She was frustrated, angry, scared, heartbroken, “You’re telling me she can go back in time without any help, but I can’t go to retrieve her without any?”

“Yes,” Melody was straight forward, “I mean, she’s completely helpless and stuck in a probably pretty bad memory loop, seeing as she believed she needed punished. Her feelings, those beliefs, would have translated into the spell. So, ya know, might want some help unless you aim to be stuck like she is. Though, I’m guessing here, but if you have more freedom (which is something a second caster gives you), you probably won’t be stuck in the loop. You’ll need some semblance of control to find Willow, she could be in any memory.”

Tara still looked angry, but confusion entered the fray of emotions currently on her face, “Wait, I can go through any memory?”

Giles jaw muscles tightened again, “I wouldn’t go prancing around all day, but yes. You should have some control. The biggest issues, barring the actual location of Willow, are learning HOW to control your surroundings, as well as getting Willow out.”

Faith was also getting edgy, “What do mean, getting Red out? T just goes in, grabs her, jumps back. This ain’t some grand adventure shit.”

“Simply ‘grabbing’ Willow won’t work. Tara will have to figure out quickly what is holding Willow there, and disrupt or destroy it,” Giles sighed, “Without disrupting the stability of the realm itself. Grand adventure, indeed.”

“I’m telling you guys, I can do this. I can be the second caster,” Dawn was insistent, knowing full well what may lie ahead if her and Tara failed to retrieve Willow before a full collapse of the magically created world.

Buffy was having none of it, “Dawn! Teenager or adult, no. You’re still in pain from the first go round anyway. Let’s not add to that.”

“D, I get it, I do. I need you to remember something, though,” Faith was looking straight into Dawn’s eyes, “Red’s main objective, was B’s last wish. Keeping you safe. How upset Red gunna be if we let you go wandering dangerously into magic. She already gunna go bat shit to find out how much danger T put herself in.”

Dawn thought for a moment on what Faith had said, “Well, she’s going to have to get over it.”

Tara put her foot down as well, “Dawnie, no! Buffy’s right, you’re not at full strength, and Faith’s right about the work Willow put into this.”

“Yeah! The work she put into bringing us backwards. It’s the same work she put into getting back to you! But you’re all with the ‘I’m going in!’. You all seem to forget something yourselves! I’m nothing but energy! Hello, Key!” Dawn was not going to let anything stop her. If they needed a second caster, she would be the one to go.

Melody decided to share her thoughts on the matter, as she had known, much like everyone else, that Dawn would be first volunteer. She didn’t however share her opinion of what she thought of that until now, “The key. An energy of sorts locking the doors between dimensions. Might be useful in say…. Going into another dimension or realm. I know you all don’t want Dawn doing this, and have extremely good reasons. I would just like to point out, she also has very good points. Plus, Willow has trained Dawn, kind of. Not that Will is all that gung ho to let her go all witchcraft on the world, but Dawn at least knows what she’s doing.”

Dawn looked to the vampire, giving her a grateful smile, “See? Good points!”

The anger Tara had from earlier found itself a new home in looking at the vampire, “You want me to risk Dawn simply because that’s what she’s ‘supposed to be for?!’”

“Whoa there mega witch, direct the anger elsewhere, huh? I’m not you’re bad guy,” Melody made an effort to remain calm, as magic wasn’t her favorite subject, “Dawn has every right just like anyone here. Just like you do. You wanna risk it all to get Willow, you’re gonna have to risk it ALL. Dawn is twenty-three, and she’s learned witchcraft, fighting, and even medical shit. She cares about bringing Willow home as much as you do. If the spell needs to be cut, if something goes wrong, she’s going give you the longest time to do something, but as her aim is to make sure you stay alive, she’ll bring you out of it. If you ask me, Dawn’s perfect for this.”

The rest of the group were glaring between Dawn and Melody. Everyone was silent for awhile, while Tara sat down and opened the book to the marked page. Tara couldn’t tell how long the silence went for, but Buffy had sat down next to Willow, staring at her best friend. Tara wondered what she was thinking.

The door downstairs could be heard opening, Xander announcing his and Anya’s entry, “I bring food!”

Anya shouted after him, “And I bring spell supplies!” They made their way upstairs, figuring that’s where everyone was since the living room was empty, “Should I add these to Willow’s tab, or…?”

Giles rolled his eyes, “Anya, just write it off. Slayer business.”

“But this amulet is expensive and can only be used once!” Anya looked appalled. She finally gave the room a once over while Xander handed out subs to everyone, “Everyone looks upset. Did Dawn volunteer like I told you she would?”

Xander handed Faith a sub, “Kinda had to take a guess at toppings, hope it’s alright.” She gave him a small smirk, as he gave Melody one as well, “Lots of meat! I haven’t seen you eat anything solid, but I know you’re kinda human, so figured if you didn’t want it, someone else could dig in.”

Melody gave him a nod and smiled at his generosity, “I could use a non liquid meal. Thank you.”

Tara put her sandwich down, and made a beeline for the door. Only seconds later, the back door could be heard slamming. Xander looked around at everyone’s faces, “Well, I can see this conversation was going well.”

Dawn made to get up to follow, Buffy grabbing her arm softly, “Dawn, maybe I should go? You’re still wincing every time you try to stand.”

“I’ll be fine, Buffy. Either way, whether I’m the one to help cast or not, there are things I should go over with Tara,” Dawn went to get up again. Faith made her way over, decidedly hoisting Dawn carefully into her arms, “Hey! I can walk!”

“Ya, ya. Just take the slayervator and don’t complain,” Faith winked at Buffy, letting her know she would make sure Dawn didn’t hurt herself, allowing Buffy some time with Willow.

The rest of the group went downstairs as well, giving the Slayer time, Xander last to leave gave Buffy a look, “Let me know when your done. I’d like a word with the Willster, too.”

Buffy still had an issue with Faith, but other things were more important right now, and she really had wanted a moment with Willow, “Will, Dawn keeps wanting to tell you stories, insists that you’re in there somewhere. I don’t know… if you are…” tears claimed her cheeks, “Why do you always have to make things complicated huh? Can’t you ever just find a spell where the only consequences are kittens and rainbows? Well, maybe not kittens, don’t need to give Spike something to bet.”

Buffy took a deep breath, “Will, you’re still my best friend. You’ve always been there. I haven’t liked the person you’ve been lately, but I will never not love you. I don’t know if this is the right thing to do. I can’t control Tara’s decisions, but a huge part of me doesn’t want to. I can’t do this without you. You brought me back, no quitting before I can. And thank you,” she whispered, “For protecting Dawn with everything you have,” She sniffled, taking hold of Willow’s head and kissing her forehead, “Don’t tell Tara. Last thing I need is to be turned into a kitten. I know Miss Kitty went missing, and now I’m pretty sure Spike had something to do with it, but Miss Buffy does not want to be gambling demon chow.”
-x-

Tara sat out on a bench in the backyard, only looking toward the house when Faith appeared carrying Dawn who was fighting to be put down, “Alright! I’m outside, we are down the steps, can I walk now?!”

Faith paused, giving her a disapproving look, then set her down by Tara, “Delivery. I was told to get it here in thirty minutes or less. Hold the tip.” She walked back inside.

Dawn glared at the Slayer’s back until she was inside again, “I’m in my twenties!”

“Would you like a story?” Tara asked, an eyebrow lifting at Dawn.

Dawn’s eyes went wide before she realized Tara was pointing out how ‘adult’ she wasn’t, “Hey! The last twelve months of my life have been in different abandoned buildings, scavenging for food, with no electricity. I couldn’t even shower, and my nicest clothes were practically falling off in tatters. Not to mention my company is potty mouth Faith, quiet and semi brooding Melody, and Willow who is also semi broody and thinks studying is fun. Carrying a board game wasn’t exactly an option, so ya. I love stories! Especially one’s that help me escape the crap of existence we called a life,” she paused, seeing Tara’s face turn, worried at her outburst. Lowering to a whisper she continued, “It’s nice to remember when things were good. Before you died. Before the world fell apart. And Willow, she always told them like they were happening right there. Nothing like getting lost in a Willow and Tara adventure, ya know? I mean, Faith told stories, but it was different, and they were all slayer stories, so it was a lot of fighting. I’ve had enough fighting.”

Tara realized she was being harsh, as she stared at the woman before her, “I’m sorry, Dawnie. I’m just so stressed and frustrated. Everything just…. Changed. So fast. I was leaving Willow,” she looked up at the sky, “and then, all this. We k-keep bringing up my death, and I’m hearing all of these things that Willow’s done, good and bad, and all the in-between. I’m just so tired, and I want to curl up in her arms, and have her hold me, and I can’t. Because not only are we not together, not only was I choosing to leave, but she had to go and do a self sacrifice thing and now… I don’t know what to do, Dawn.”

“Tara,” Dawn tried to think of what she wanted to say, “We’re all gunna die, ya know?”

Tara immediately turned to look at Dawn in the eye, but Dawn continued, “How that happens, well, despite most of you guys having gone through it, we don’t know. Melody said the time line has changed. Either of us could die tonight. I’m sure as hell not going down without a fight. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being an adult scooby, it’s keep fighting and no one gets left behind, or forgotten.” She thought back to before Buffy jumped the tower, “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.”

“You really have grown up,” Tara brushed some fallen hair to Dawn’s ear.

“Well, that last part was Buffy, and I might have stolen a line from Lilo and Stitch, which isn’t even out till June,” Dawn blushed.

Tara gave her a smile while lifting her eyebrow again, “Are you really ready for this?”

“I was born ready. I think. Is a giant ball of energy technically born?” Dawn giggled.

Tara’s smile gave to a frown, “I don’t even know what I’m in for, do I?”

Dawn took her hand, “That’s why you have me. Look, I can’t lie to you. I don’t know what you’re going to see, but I’m guessing Willow’s darker half will make an appearance, and I’m not talking the vampire version.”

Tara nodded, staring at the grass, feeling slightly numb, “How can I face her like that? The First’s version was already scary, but knowing it’s Willow behind those eyes…”

“That…. Wasn’t dark Willow,” Dawn’s eyes went wide, realizing that despite her best efforts, describing the situation that happened all those years ago was more of a challenge than just remembering it.

Tara’s eyes held a fear Dawn had never seen, “Her eyes. They were b-black.”

“Ya, that’s a thing,” she paused and looked back into Tara’s eyes, “There’s more to it then that. Tara, you just have to remember who she really is,” Dawn filled in, “How do you think Xander saved the world? Also, remember the Willow you’re looking for is brave and strong, and would do anything for you. No matter what.”

Anya took this moment to come semi outside the door, “Hate to do this, but we’re running low on time.”

Tara and Dawn both glanced curiously in her direction confused, “There’s a time limit?!” Dawn gave her a crazy look.

“Kind of? I guess, not really so much a limit, but do you really wanna push it? I mean Willow could die at any second, and everyone is getting antsy because you guys could die, and I just wanna get this over with. I’m missing lots of work time, and Xander is sad all the time and Tara’s sad and angry,” Anya looked over to them, unshed tears visible in her eyes.

Tara looked Dawn in the eyes, her deep sapphire vs Dawn’s baby blue, “If you r-really wanna do this, Dawn, I trust you. Willow trusted you with her life before, I trust you with mine. I just hate putting you in danger like that.”

Dawn nodded, “Technically, Willow had no choice. She was unconscious. Which I guess is almost the same as now.” She gave a tight smile.
-x-

When they reentered the house, they were surprised to find the gang back upstairs. Everything seemed to be set up, Giles finishing off some candles, “We’re all ready. We just need to decide on a second caster. There isn’t a whole lot of room in here, but it’s safer than the living room. The window down there tends to get smashed in quite a bit.”

“Dawn. She’ll be the one helping me,” Tara made sure she put every ounce of seriousness behind her voice. As she started to see the argument in both Buffy’s and Giles’s eyes, “There’s no more discussion. We have to do this, and despite my hating this plan, it’s what we have. Dawn and Melody made good points. Let’s just get this done.”

Her and Dawn took their places at Giles instructions. As he was preparing, he shared a look with Buffy. She simply shook her head, knowing full well that they could argue or they could listen and trust Tara.

After a few minutes of getting Dawn and Tara completely familiar with everything, the room became silent, and just as Tara was reaching for Dawn’s hands, the door downstairs opened. Buffy jumped, thinking everyone was here.

“ ‘Ello? Anyone home?” Spike looked around the deserted living room, before he saw Buffy appear at the top of the stairs, “Slayer. You havin’ a party and didn’t even invite me?”

“SPIKE! Seriously? You have any idea what you could have done?” Buffy wasn’t in the mood for his antics, as the tension upstairs was so thick, her Slayer strength couldn’t cut it.

He held his hands up, “Sorry. If you’d all keep me in the bloody loop…”

Buffy shook her head, “We’re in the middle of trying to wake Willow up. If you’re going to be here, make yourself useful and don’t let anyone near this house until I say so!” She disappeared again, and Spike shrugged. After gathering a beer from the fridge, he quietly stepped outside to have a smoke and ‘guard’ the house.

When Buffy returned, she quickly explained, letting them know that there wouldn’t be anymore interruptions, despite Giles obvious look of disgust. Once again, they had to rely on the filth that he believed was Spike, and he didn’t like it.

Everyone took deep breaths, while they all watched, Giles squat down to look Tara in the eye, “While it’s not completely predicted, do not let yourself be seen. Make sure it’s Willow, and not a memory, you interact with.”

Anya decided to give her own advice, “If your going to get caught, get caught by someone who wouldn’t know you. Less chance of freak out and collapse. But don’t get caught.”

“It’s like your own personal game of Where’s Waldo. Except, it’s Where’s Willow,” Xander tried to take some tension away.

Again Tara reached for Dawn’s hands, feeling extremely weird, as her only casting partners before this had been either Willow or her mother. She took a few deep breaths, knowing Dawn wouldn’t let her down. The last thing she remembered before closing her eyes was the determined look on Dawn’s face.
-x-

Tara opened her eyes after what seemed like forever. The room around her was exactly how it had been before she closed her eyes. She was frustrated, wondering why the spell wasn’t working, but it only took a few seconds to realize it was. The room was frozen, and there was almost an odd aura in the air. No one was blinking, not one single movement.

When her sight fell on Willow, the redhead was glowing faintly. She made her way to her beloved, “Where are you, my love?”

Her hand took a loose strand of red hair, tucking it behind Willow’s ear. When her fingers touched the skin behind the redhead’s ear, the world went spiraling, and Tara was quickly becoming nauseated. How her spirit could feel sick, she didn’t know, but her stomach was all kinds of yuck.

When she finally caught her breath, she looked around. She was outside of a crypt. ‘Surprise, surprise. I land in a cemetery. She couldn’t have just been reading in the library?’ She rolled her eyes, and tried to get her bearings. Before she could accurately tell which cemetery, a younger Willow appeared with a bag and thermos. Tara ducked down fast, hiding behind the wall on the other side of the door from her. When Willow made her way inside, Tara tried to stealthily follow, only managing to listen in at the doorway. There was too much light, and the door led immediately to stairs. She would be seen any closer, but the door was left open, so she could hear everything.

As she finally cued into the conversation, she couldn’t believe the first memory she’d land in was this one, ‘Are you kidding me? What Goddess did I piss off recently?!’

“Well, I knew you two had a lot in common, but…Don’t touch me!” She could hear the pain in Willow’s voice.

Then came Oz’s reply, “She was gonna hurt somebody. I didn’t have a choice.”

“But you did. You could’ve told somebody. Your solution… Just put you two together in a room all night?” Willow’s pain was breaking Tara’s resolve, all she wanted to do was hold her. However, even if that was possible without danger, Willow wouldn’t know who she was at this moment, anyway.

‘That would be a scene. Hi, I’m your future lesbian lover, let me make it all better,’ Tara thought to herself, shaking her head at her own ridiculousness. Oz’s voice range clear when she tuned back in. He was telling someone to leave. She barely had time to hide when she saw the ‘other’ woman leaving the crypt.

By the time she could safely sneak back to the door, the conversation had moved forward more.

“No. I could sense something, but…” Oz sounded desperate.

“But you wanted her… Like in an animal way? Like…More than you wanted me?” Tara had heard the story once before, though Willow rarely talked about Oz after awhile, especially after he left a second time. She ducked again, as Willow left crying.

If this was supposed to be the world giving her an easy in to Willow’s pain, it missed the mark by a lot. Even though Tara knew this had to happen for her to have a relationship with Willow, watching Willow’s pain, or even listening to it, was far beyond difficult for her.

‘Ok, so that’s over. Do I follow Willow or…’ Tara didn’t get to finish her thought as she felt things shift and change, almost like fading to black at the end of a show.
-x-

The rest of the gang sat waiting. While it may have seemed like hours for Tara, it had only been minutes for them.

“Did it work?” Buffy stared really hard at Dawn, who had her eyes closed.

“Buffy, Dawn is still conscious. Don’t make her lose her concentration,” Giles reprimanded her for getting so close to the circle.

Buffy pouted, “My baby sister is in huge danger two feet from me, and I can’t do anything. Don’t get mad at me for being edgy and curious.”

“She’s older than you,” Melody rolled her eyes, “by like, two years.”

Faith just gave Melody a quick jab to her ribs, “Yo, hasn’t even been a week. Let her get used to shit, Mermaid. I watched D become this age and I still have a hard time.”

Buffy glared at the vampire while trying to figure Faith out.
-x-

Ariel

Dibs! (pretty late, but still mine!)

I'm glad that Dawn (with Melody's help) was able to convince Tara and the others to let her be the second caster. She is right, she is an adult and might have some residual "keyness" in her which could be helpful.


I'm wondering if the "people" in this "realm" could actually see Tara as another person. I had the impression that those "versions" of the Scoobies, Dark Willow included, can't really see Willow but just have the feeling that there is somebody else watching them or something like that. But maybe it's different in her case because she "created" the realm.


Reading in the library would be a happy memory for Willow so you can't hope for that.


Yeah, that might actually make the realm collapse, so better not...

I'm hoping you'll post the next chapter this weekend.

Chapter 18~

The next thing she knew, the scene in front of her appeared from the darkness that the last memory faded from. ‘This… this is UC Sunnydale Library.’ She looked around her. People were everywhere. She started to panic. One student came charging from nowhere, seemingly not caring she was there. Before she could move out of his way, he just walked right through her.

Her brows knit in confusion. ‘He didn’t see me. Just walked through me like a ghost.’ This didn’t make sense. Why was this so dangerous if she couldn’t be seen? Before she could truly start on putting the puzzle pieces together, she saw herself coming into the library.

Her younger self came charging in, but stopped short. Her head turned just slightly toward where Tara was, who was ducking in between two shelves quickly. The younger Tara of the two fully turned and stared exactly at the spot her older self had just vacated. Shaking her head quickly, she turned back and continued into the main study area.

Following her younger self as discreetly as possible, she finally located a very bored looking Willow. This memory came back to her, remembering that sweater, remembering this day. One of the worst days of her life, which ironically ended as one of the best.

Willow spotted Tara rushing in, getting up quickly, “What’s up? You okay?”

Tara looked worried, “Oz. We were talking and, he changed. Right in front of me.”

Tara couldn’t help but think how young they looked. Like all the stress they endured in their daily lives made this moment feel like a decade ago instead of two years, ‘We were so young, not children, but… It was just the beginning.’ Tears came to her eyes, which she promptly wiped away. She needed to figure this out. She needed to find the real Willow. Tara had to figure out how to control her environment quickly.

She realized she was thinking during the memory so much, she missed it. Willow was rushing off, and the scene around her was darkening again.
-x-

When she came to once more, she was in a backyard she didn’t recognize. It was almost familiar, but she couldn’t place it. As she realized it was deserted for the moment, she went to sit on the porch steps. She needed to think.

‘So, Anya’s warning doesn’t make sense. I can’t be caught by someone who doesn’t know me, because it doesn’t seem like anyone I don’t know can even sense me, much less see me. My memory knew, though. I have to avoid anyone who would know me, including myself apparently,’ Tara rolled her eyes. This was going to be very difficult, even with all the time in the world.

She heard the sound of laughter, and what she guessed was a gate opening. Looking around worriedly, Tara realized she was not anywhere she could hide fast enough. Her heart started to pound like crazy. This was it. She failed, ‘How could I be so stupid?! I’ve failed you sweetie. I’m so sorry.’

Just before the voices came around the corner, Tara realized the porch had nothing under it as she looked around in desperation. As fast as possible, she dropped to the ground and rolled. It wasn’t very protective, and she would have to rely on the shade to keep her from being noticed.

“Wills, I’m just saying, if Cordy were to ‘accidentally’ acquire a frog in the back of her pants, it wouldn’t be the worst thing,” Tara would recognize the young boy anywhere. Even if she hadn’t seen the few pictures Willow had, Xander hadn’t changed much. He got taller, he gained muscle, and his hair was managed a lot better, but the goofy grin gave him away every time.

Willow followed, both kids scrambling to sit on the top of a picnic table, “I would never wish frogs on anyone, Xander. Even Cordelia. We’re ten years old, and you’re really good at jokes and we’re both really smart. There’s a bunch we could come up with. Maybe we could try riding our bikes through mud right next to her! Oh, but then we would need mud, and for her to be anywhere near mud. Then we would need to be lucky enough to have our bikes if that were to ever happen. We can’t just have our bikes all the time, ‘cause then...”

Xander started giggling, “You’re babbling again,” He saw his best friends face fall, “I know people make fun of it, but I was giggling cause it’s you. It’s a part of you, and I like it. You’re my Willow. My best friend in the whole world. Other kids are stupid. You’re the bestest friend and smartest girl in our whole grade. Maybe even the whole school!”

Willow blushed. Tara remembered the stories. The redhead had been crushing on Xander for years. To him, this moment was a heartfelt one between friends. To Willow it was one of many beginnings, to their relationship, that weren’t real.

Tara’s heart felt like it was filled to the brim. She couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t something anyone else ever got to do outside home movies. She was here, watching her beloved as a child. Rapidly realizing that time was a factor again, Tara shook her head.

This didn’t exactly seem like a horrible memory. Xander was making jokes, very plainly trying to make his best friend smile. He abandoned this by hopping off the table and going for the grand finale. Still to this day, Willow can’t not smile at his snoopy dance.

As Tara watched ten year old Xander copy the adorable Snoopy, her eyes moved over to the precious young version of the woman she loved more than anything. Children. With everything ahead of them… ahead of her.

That’s when it clicked. The word children. She had a major thought about how they were practically children in the library, and back in the cemetery, she had wished she’d been in the library instead of a graveyard. This wasn’t a bad memory because she wasn’t on the bad memory loop they believed Willow may be on. She was controlling her path the whole time.

All of a sudden she heard the back door open, footsteps came from directly above her, “Willow, you need to come in and eat. Your father and I have a conference we are flying out for early and we won’t be back for two weeks. Your babysitter will be here. Say goodbye to Xavier. You’ll see him tomorrow, and his mother called to let him know he needed to go home and do some chores.”

Willow looked over to Xander sadly. She knew the code. ‘Chores’ meant cleaning up the broken mess his father left in the wake of his alcohol fueled rage, “Can Xander eat with us?”

Her mother gave her a pointed look, “You already know the answer to that.” With that, her mother turned and disappeared into the house once again.

Xander just gave her a strained smile, “It’s alright, Wills. I’m used to it. Plus, I’m more worried about two weeks of you being driven mad by your college babysitter. She can’t stop making out with her boyfriend long enough to remember you’re alive. She’s supposed to take care of you, right? You’d think after babysitting you more than half the year, she’d actually take an interest in who she was watching.”

“It’s OK. She’s not all bad. We get away with a lot when she’s here, at least. Plus, she lets me do my own food shopping. She just drives me and hands me the money. Can you say chocolate?” Willow followed with the same smile as Xander. They hugged before Xander headed for the gate and Willow hit the first porch step.

Realizing the memory seemed to be winding down, Tara put a pin in this particular memory. Willow had mentioned her parents not really paying much attention, and she knew a bit why Xander didn’t want to go home. The part she was more curious of was the babysitter. Willow had always made it sound like her parents and her were just distant from each other. She had mentioned business trips, but Willow made it sound so casual that Tara hadn’t realized the equivalent of time Willow spent with them vs basically alone.

Things started to darken, Tara realizing in horror that she lost track, trying to think of where to start. ‘Need to find real Willow. Bad memories most likely, probably more of the worst ones.’
-x-

The chaos Tara entered with the next memory seemed almost impossible. Hundreds of women, bald green demons, and hooded robed figures with knives scattered around a very huge cavern. There were weapons clashing everywhere, and Tara fell back when someone came running toward her, forgetting the mysterious woman probably wouldn’t be able to see her.

Tara didn’t know who she would see, who would recognize her. Deciding to try to stick near the walls and behind rocks or corners, she took a deep breath and started searching for Willow. Or in this case, Willows. She would need to identify both before she could make a move on talking to the real one, or risk revealing herself to a shadow of Willow rather than the one she was here to save.

She looked over and spotted Dawn, who was staring across the cavern. It was then that Tara realized this was the memory Dawn had been speaking about. Looking toward Xander, she saw him fall. Tara’s heart sank, and all she wanted to do was help Dawn, help them all. It took everything in her to not jump in to do so. Tara had to cement the information in her brain that this was a memory. It happened already and nothing she could do would help other than make things worse by forcing a full realm collapse.

Looking in the opposite direction, she saw more fighting, before finally catching a flash of red hair. She hoped it was Willow, as she started away from where she could see Dawn and made her way towards where the redhead had gone around a corner. The sight that greeted her was gut wrenching, heart breaking, and would never leave her own memory even though she wasn’t physically there.

Buffy lay on the ground. The lower half of her body crushed under a boulder, ‘How the hell did a boulder just land on Buffy?!’

Her answer came a short moment later when another came magically flying not ten feet from where she was behind a rock near the wall. Tara looked toward where the giant projectile came from, seeing hooded figures. They were different from the other ones. These ‘people’ had black eyes like the ones The First had given Willow, that weren’t sewn shut, and while she couldn’t feel the magic they were casting, (probably cause of her situation and not being in the real world) it wasn’t hard to tell it was magic. Dark magic. Another boulder went hurtling towards a target about twenty feet to her right, and when she looked over, it was Willow.

There was blood around her eye, which made Tara guess this is where that scar came from. Willow raised her hand and threw her own spell, blasting the boulder into nothing more than powder. The redhead quickly called upon more magic, making the ridge ,where some of the dark mages were tossing boulders, collapse. Those specific mages were now gone.

“Buffy!” Willow made her way over to her best friend. Shaking the blonde’s shoulders, she called to her.

Hazel eyes opened slowly, “Will. Hey.”

Tears were coming in constant streaks down Willow’s face. She looked around the boulder, knowing she could lift it with magic, but realizing that Buffy was not going to survive this encounter. There was nothing she could do fast enough once it was removed. So she gave Buffy a tight smile, “How ya doin’, Buff? Looking a little rough. It’s going to be ok. I’ll make it ok.”

“We both know that there’s no coming back from this Will. Even my Slayer strength and healing isn’t going to make this one better,” Buffy was also crying slightly and gave Willow’s hand a squeeze as best she could, “You’re my big gun, Willow. You’re kicking ass and taking names. My best friend in the world. I need you to promise to keep Dawn alive. Promise to give everything you’ve got. She loves you. Trusts you. And you’ve more than earned it.” Her breathing was getting shallow, words coming in gasps randomly.

Willow shook her head, “We’ve seen me do ‘big gun’ Buffy. Not something we liked. Faith…”

Buffy shook her head, using all her strength she had left, she squeezed Willow’s hand. Even injured, Buffy had quite the death grip and Willow had to strain to not show her discomfort, “No. That wasn’t big gun Willow. That was grief fueled mega witch, and she’s always going to be a part of you, but you are not defined by her. I’ve seen you face odds in the negatives. I watched how amazing you were taking care of Tara after Glory and how hard it was, but you still did it and without a second thought… how much you’ve done for us since coming back from England. You, more than anyone, have fought the biggest battle of your life with darkness. Faith is good, great even. She’s earned her place in this family, but you are who Dawn depends on. Even with me here, there were just some things that Dawn wanted you for. It’s you, Willow. I know she’ll be safe with you.”

“Buffy, I….” Willow stopped as Buffy started choking before coughing up blood.

After turning her head to spit out what had been coughed up, Buffy looked straight into the green eyes of her best friend, “Promise me!”

There was a huge rumble, and an uproar started somewhere behind them, the battle was ending, as the hellmouth was starting to collapse from the destruction and the plans they put in place. Tara looked around, swiftly wiping her eyes to help her vision from being blurred by tears anymore. She berated herself once again, as she had been so focused on the painful scene in front of her, she hadn’t been looking for signs of her real love.

Tara looked back towards the two best friends, Willow was now crying over Buffy’s chest. There was no movement from the blonde. Her words echoed in Tara’s mind, though. Willow never talked about it, and the rest of them skirted around what happened during the time she was out of her own mind because of the Hell God.

‘I want to know. I know I shouldn’t, but she could be there, and I want to see how I was during my insanity,’ Tara thought before her surroundings, again, disappeared. She wasn’t sure what she felt more. Impossible sorrow, inescapable anger, or relief from leaving this particular memory.
-x-

The next thing Tara felt was floor. She was sitting, and looking around her, it came as a shock to find herself on the upper floor of the Magic Box. Specifically in the far corner, away from the ledge. She heard Buffy asking Willow what she had for her. Making her way softly to the edge of the platform, she watched this new scene.

Buffy was sitting on the steps directly below her, which meant she was in dangerous territory with her ‘hiding spot’. Willow was sitting directly across from her, with the other Tara looking around lost in a chair only a few feet from Willow at the research table.

“Some ideas. Well, notions. Or, theories based on wild speculation. Did I mention I’m not good under pressure?” Willow gave a worried smile.

Buffy gave her a serious look, “I need you, Will. You’re my big gun.”

Willow looked very alarmed, “I’m your – no, I-I was never a gun. Someone else should be the gun. I, I could be a, a cudgel. Or, or a pointy stick.”

“You’re the strongest person here. You know that, right?” Buffy gave the redhead a look as if she couldn’t believe Willow didn’t know that.

Willow frowned, “Well … no.”

“Will, you’re the only person that’s ever hurt Glory. At all. You’re my best shot at getting her on the ropes, so don’t get a jelly belly on me now,” Buffy’s words, once again, echoed in Tara’s mind. The Slayer had said something very significant, telling her some of exactly what she had been missing these last few months.

Willow heard these words, and knowing the redheaded witch as well as she did, it explained a lot. It may have not been the beginning, but the weight of her best friend’s declaration would have put major pressure on Willow. While most people would have taken this information and used it for inspiration, Buffy died. Which is all Willow could probably think about.

The constant hours of fixing the Bot, taking the lead of their family and of the Slayer role as best she could, and the obsession of bringing Buffy back. It was guilt. The Slayer passed the torch to Willow, who felt like she put it out not just a few hours later.

Willow decided to finally answer the original question, “Well … I, I … do sort of have this one idea. But, last few days, I’ve mostly been looking into ways to help Tara. I-I know that shouldn’t be my priority…”

Buffy leaned over and put her hand on Willow’s knee.

“Of course it should,” Buffy gave her a supportive smile.

Willow gave the smile back gratefully while Buffy reclaimed her hand.

“Well, I’ve been charting their essences. Mapping out. I think … if I can get close enough, I may be able to reverse what Glory did. Like, take back what she took from Tara. It might weaken Glory, or ... make her less coherent,” Willow did a very short pause, “Or it might make all our heads explode.”

Giles called for Buffy.

Buffy looked towards him and noticed he was discussing something with Xander and Anya.

Willow gave her a nod, “I’ll try to work it.”

Buffy stood and walked away, putting her hand briefly on Willow’s shoulder in support.

Tara watched as Willow stood before kneeling in front of her younger self.

“Don’t worry, love. It won’t be long,” Willow put her hands on Tara’s knees.

The shock that registered on Tara’s face was palpable when young Tara reached across and within just seconds, slapped Willow completely across the face.

“Bitch! I’m supposed to work on the factors!”

Willow’s eyes started to water. Not from the pain of the slap, but from Tara’s state. The anger passed from the brunette’s face swiftly and left only anxious energy in its wake.

“I’m, I’m not … I’m not…” Her hand shook ever so slightly as she reached towards her loves cheek. Her own eyes started to water.

Willow’s last statement was full of hope, certainty, and a small bit of despair as she held Tara’s wrist lightly, “I’m gonna bring you back.”
-x-

Tension and fear filled the room around the barrier of the spell. It had been almost an hour since the chanting stopped. Almost an hour since Tara became silent, falling onto the floor of pillows they had collected for when she fell back. It was driving them all crazy having to watch the scene, unable to help.

Little known to the rest of them, it was quite lucky this wasn’t the nether realms, as it may have been a very uncomfortable transition when Tara entered the world she was trying to access. In a small private moment with Giles, she whispered her concerns about this very fact, and while Giles blushed at this, he assured her this would be a different experience. He was still randomly cleaning his glasses in intervals the last hour.

“How long this gonna take, Jeeves? I mean, is Red just goin’ to pop up and scare the shit out of us, or…?” Faith’s energy was out of sorts. Everyone could see this was bothering her as much as it was them.

Buffy decided to repay Faith’s earlier comment, “It’s going to be alright, Faith. They’re going to make it through this.” Brown eyes met hazel, and for the first time in what seemed like a very long time, Faith seemed scared. Buffy knew why. It had always been difficult for her darker half to show concern or care about someone. It was now very obvious how close Faith had become with her little sister and best friend. So she smiled at Faith, trying to show every ounce of bravery she could as she attempted to share some strength with the younger Slayer. Well, younger if she weren’t from a different time.

“We cant know for sure,” Anya said from her place on Xander’s lap. They had taken to sitting on the floor a few feet from Tara’s position, “No one has ever tried this. They couldn’t. Power, skill, knowledge. All have to be present for this type of situation, on top of major amounts of energy according to the spell. It has never been recorded that there was ever another capable witch in any of the other instances except for the coma bound original caster. Even if there had been though, the amount of energy you need is insane because you need to sustain the spell for possible massive amounts of time. You or Buffy would have been pretty exhausted after just this hour. Dawn is doing very well. Be prepared for her to sleep a lot. It’ll be ok like Buffy said. It has to. Tara is the last person to deserve a hell dimension.”

“The Willster doesn’t exactly deserve it either,” Xander looked to his fiancé.

Anya nodded her head, “More than Tara, but definitely less than most humans.”

Melody gave a hint of smirk from her place by the window. The ex demon sure did say what was on her mind. The time was getting to the vampire as well. She had even offered to go check to make sure Spike was still guarding the house from interruptions. Mostly to steal a smoke.

Giles finally joined the conversation, “There’s been no change, good or bad. We shall take this as good news for now.”
-x-

The next memory Tara endured was in an RV of some sort. She couldn’t believe how sweet, attentive, and especially patient Willow was with her at this time. Even Spike was being understanding and likeable, as he nurtured the wound from the sunlight young Tara had exposed him to. She couldn’t see them, and had to pray to every goddess that no one needed the bathroom while she was here.

Willow was still at fault for the terrible decisions she made, and the magic and spells she had been using to control things. However, Tara was beginning to understand Willow a bit better and made Tara realize just how much Willow had hidden about her own past as well as the amount of care and patience she herself had needed from her love at this time.

Just like it had for her when her family came, Willow’s past was unraveling in front of Tara’s eyes. Things never told to her, shared with her. Willow had always done her best to be strong, and Tara was realizing more than even before, how important Faith’s advice and her own speech about opening up was. So much could have been avoided with real conversation. This was always one of the saddest parts of growing up, even without their crazy lives as the Slayer’s family. Looking back on bad choices, and seeing what you could have done different.

‘I need to think. Where would Willow be? It’s obvious she could have been in the battle memory, but I missed that opportunity,’ Tara looked worried. She knew the answer. Knew where she had to look. Willow would be in the worst of the worst memories and if she missed her chance with Buffy, there were only so many that would truly torture Willow enough for a punishment she felt she deserved.

Tara was going to have to confront her own death, and then…. Dark Willow.

‘It’ll be alright, Tara.’

The witch looked around the bathroom panicked. A disembodied voice that sounded like Dawn should not be in a tiny RV bathroom with her, ‘Dawn?’

‘You heard me?! I can see everything. It’s weird. I follow you around kind of, but I also hear everything in the room. Faith is worried.’

‘You’ve been here the whole time? And you’re just now speaking up?’ Tara looked annoyed.

‘Not like I know how this stuff works. And Giles never said anything. I didn’t even realize you would hear me when I said it would be alright. Just so you know, Willow knew it wasn’t you who slapped her. It wasn’t your fault. I know you. You’re belittling yourself. You wouldn’t let me do that in this situation.’

Tara sighed quietly. She could hear the sounds of a sword fight above her now, ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me?’

‘Would you have told Willow how hard it was if it was reversed? Plus, I didn’t actually know about this particular incident.’

‘This i-incident? What all d-did I do?’ A look of horror crossed her face as her voice shook even in her own head.

‘I don’t know, Tara. Willow tried to keep things on the down low from me. From everyone really. She shouldered most of that alone if she could. I don’t think she wanted anyone to see you like that. To see you as anything but the extraordinary person you really are. I did get to feed you applesauce and Willow was so good with you even when you were scared. It was the most loving thing I ever heard ya know. Willow said you were her girl. Her always. It was especially difficult that she couldn’t get the revenge she wanted.’ Dawn’s voice was sad, knowing that even she didn’t have all the answers for Tara. There was going to be some heavy conversations for the couple if they made it out of this.

‘Revenge? What are you talking about?’ Tara became worried again. Before Dawn could reply, the memory began to fade. Which meant that Tara was possibly about to find out what Dawn meant, as the question about revenge was the last thing she had wanted information on. She wasn’t certain if she was about to meet Willow’s darker half, see herself die, or find out something else Willow had done in rage over Tara’s well being.

‘Dawnie?’ Tara asked as the darkness slowly shrouded her vision.

‘Yeah?’

Tara gave a small laugh trying to shake off all the stress and tension of everything, ‘Remind me that we need to get Willow some anger management help in case my safety is compromised in the future…’

Dawn could be heard giggling, ‘Good luck getting Willow to any sort of therapy.’
-x-

The area became clear around her, and she realized she was standing in the hallway of Buffy and Dawn’s home. Their home.

“Hey. Clothes,” Willow could be heard speaking in the bedroom ahead of her. Tara slowly made her way down the hall and peaked in. She had heard her shadow's reply about not getting used to them. Looking into the room with just the crack in the door, she saw them embracing while watching herself point out that Xander was here.

She didn’t remember this, and she was obviously in her right mind. Her stomach lurched, ‘I don’t remember this.’

‘I do.’

‘You’re here in the house? I need to hide,’ Tara started to turn away.

‘No. I’m not there yet, but I remember that sweater. It was one of Willow’s favorites. You guys had finally made it back to each other…’ Dawn’s voice adopted an anguish that no one so young should have to use.

Tara finally clued in, ‘I’m not forgetting about the revenge comment.’ She felt her heart speed up. This is when she died. Another deep breath before she tried to focus on finding Willow instead of watching the devastating event that was about to happen.

Tara couldn’t really see much from the angle, and quietly backed down the hall to the bathroom door hoping for something to help her look for Willow. Before she could reach the door, a shot rang out and glass was breaking, which made her turn with impossible speed back to the door. She could hear a very distraught Willow calling her name. Tara made her way back to the bedroom door. She had to see it. Had to know. When she came to it, she barely caught the flash in Willow’s eyes through the mirror, seeing red. Never had she seen Willow this way. Not even when they were burying Buffy.

When nothing would wake shadow Tara up, Willow started using a spell. Tara listened as she called on Osiris.

‘My guess is that’s the first spell she’s done in months since she went cold turkey.’

Dawn’s voice was small, and strained. She had definitely been crying, and they both wondered if that would reflect in the real world.

Suddenly the sound of another person crying became apparent, and it wasn’t coming from the bedroom, ‘Dawn. Who else is in the house? I, the other me, had said Xander was with Buffy in the back yard and you said you weren’t home.’

‘No one. Anya’s at work and Giles isn’t back.’

Tara turned back toward the hallway, she tried to pinpoint where it was coming from. The most horrific sound ripped from the room behind her. It was Willow screaming ‘No’ presumably at Osiris. She would need to find out from Willow later to be sure. Passing Dawn’s room, Tara realized someone was crying in Buffy’s bedroom. A crying she recognized. She turned the handle, instantly finding the red eyes and tear stained face of her love, her always. Emerald met sapphire while confusion, fear, and pain were warring in Willow’s eyes.

“Tara? They sent you?” Willow’s voice held such a heart crushing pain that Tara didn’t know how to handle it.

Tara couldn’t understand why Willow seemed so upset. She could only guess that Willow didn’t think she was real, “I’m here sweetie. It’s really me. I came to bring you back where you belong.” She stepped forward only to see Willow jump off the bed and step back.

“Why? I was this bad? I was so bad that my everything, my heart was the one sent to collect me for hell? Because I really thought I’d done some sort of redeeming things before I died,” Shimmering green eyes looked around, finding the window. She was glad it looked out onto the front yard and not the back. Willow sniffled as she took in what she believed to be her last look at a beautiful sunny day, but remembered what this day brought. She hated today. Maybe hell was better than reliving this day over and over.

“Willow, sweetie, no,” Tara’s heart felt like it was being ripped in two, as it was now clear exactly what Willow thought she was here for, “Will, I’m not here to take you to hell. You will NEVER deserve hell. I’m here to take you home.”
-x-

Ariel

Thanks for the patience guys. Rough couple weeks.

Gaaaaaaaaaaah my heart!

_________________
- I am a poster girl with no poster, I am 32 flavours and then some -

Heavy angst warning.

Just a reminder on disclaimer, I own nothing of these characters. The flashbacks to real episode clips were done by amazing writers, and even more amazing actors. Please don’t sue.

Chapter 19~

“Home?” Willow was staring at Tara for what seemed ages before she asked the question.

Tara nodded, taking a small step toward her love, “Home, Willow. Everyone’s waiting for us. Buffy, Xander, Giles, Dawn…”

“Dawn?!” The redhead's energy became frenzied once more, “Dawnie died? It was the spell wasn’t it? I killed her. I killed Dawnie a- and, and I failed Buffy. Faith was right, I shouldn’t have done this. I don’t deserve home. You can’t take me to heaven. I deserve hell…”

Willow was panicking again, the devastation of the perceived events taking their toll. Tara made a decision quickly, and took five more steps in quick succession. She reached Willow in mere seconds, grabbing her tear stained face in both hands and kissed her forehead before locking her lips to those of her always.

It had seemed like years to Tara, and she couldn’t imagine how it felt for Willow as it actually had been years for her. The move was not meant to be sexual, but life giving. To bring Willow back from the brink of pain and suffering. Fire melting ice that had been a glacier of pain in the making. Tara softly pulled in Willow’s bottom lip, sucking ever so gentle before releasing it and leaning their foreheads together.

Before Tara could speak, the memory faded and they both appeared in the middle of the hallway in their old dorm. Willow looked around her, “This is uh, this is a new one.” Her eyes found Tara’s, realizing she had barely noticed. Tara was too busy giving her a worried look, “We have to hide. We can’t be seen.”

They both dived into the neighboring room, “Dangerous town where people die consistently, but the door is unlocked when no one is home?” Tara finally spoke up, as she spotted Willow’s hand still holding hers.

“I can’t, Tara. You don’t….. I can’t go with you. I don’t deserve good things. You have no idea what I’ve done. If you did…. And I killed Dawnie,” Willow’s breath was shallow and tears were steady down her face as she also stared at their joined hands, trying to take in the final moment she never dreamed she would get.

Tara shook her head, “I know a lot more than you think I do, Sweetie, and I’ll repeat again, you will NEVER deserve hell of any kind,” Tara pulled their hands toward herself, and once face to face again, was finally given a chance to explain, “Dawnie is alive BECAUSE of you, and from what I hear, it isn’t the first time.”

The look of confusion that crossed Willow’s face would wait, as they could hear Willow freaking out in the room next door, “Well, I can’t see Buffy at the morgue and be all royal! ‘Oh, I’m the king of everything, I’m better than you!’ I have to be supportive, I, Buffy needs me to be supportive, I…” Rustling could be heard as they both knew now that Willow was looking through her shirts.

“God, why do all my shirts have such stupid things on them? Why can’t I just dress like a grownup? Can’t I be a grownup?”

They both found the others eyes, the memory coming back to both of them, as the situation dawned on Tara. She had calmed Willow down the same way on this day. Had tried to take her pain.

“Okay. We can be there for Buffy. And Dawn. Little Dawn, “ Willow could hear the tears in her own shadow’s voice.

Shadow Tara answered quickly, “We can be strong.”

“Strong like an Amazon?”

“Strong like an Amazon, right.”

It may not have been a happy memory, but it was definitely a significant one to them both. Almost like the whole world was watching them be one strength, together.

“Dawn’s alive?” Willow finally asked in a whisper, afraid to break the moment, “I, I don’t understand.”

Tara breathed in slowly, trying to get Willow to do the same as their eyes held each other, “Dawn’s alive. Because of you. You did it, Willow. You brought them backwards. Eight years. You saved all three of them, and now I’m here to save you.”

“No!” Willow dropped Tara’s hand, the panic coming back in waves, “I’m in a realm. Do you know how dangerous this place is? You have to leave. I’m stuck here, but, but you have to go. I can’t explain everything, you just have to go.”

Tara watched Willow once more going through the fear and pain, this time taking a different approach. It was clear that another piece of her Willow was the same, just as she was always willing to sacrifice everything of herself for the people she loved, she was also stubborn as all get out, “Enough!” The word was quiet, but the tone was harsh.

Willow remembered that particular change in Tara’s voice, and instantly shut up. Tara stepped up to her, this time taking both hands, “I came to get you. I know what this place is, I know what can happen. The fact that I’m here, that Dawn is here…”

“Dawnie?” Willow looked around before Tara moved to cup her cheek and bring her attention back.

“Dawn believes in you. I believe in you. We came to get you because you’re our family. Because we love you, we can’t just leave you to die if there’s a chance. Even a small chance. I found you!” Tara’s eyes were shining with tears, glossed with anger over Willow’s stubborn nature, and full of love and purpose as she emphasized the most important part, specifically the ‘I’s’, “I found you. I love you. I need you. You can’t just give up on me, do you get that? I know what you’ve done. They told me, they had to. I know about the addiction, I know about the war. I know about Warren, and you threatening Dawn…. All of it.”

Tara ducked her head and sniffled, keeping her hands firmly grasped around Willow’s, “I…” Willow was about to respond when it faded black.
-x-

Nothing much had changed back in the bedroom. They were all sitting around. Anya and Xander were trying to distract everyone with wedding plans. Then, all of a sudden, something came back to Anya’s mind, “I was a vengeance demon.”

Xander put a slight more amount of pressure into his arms as he held her, “We know, Ahn.”

“No! I was a vengeance demon. Again. We never asked about that,” Anya looked over to Faith and Melody, “Dawn said I was a demon again when Willow went all magic crazy. Why?”

As Xander’s curious eyes also met Faith’s gaze, Faith sighed heavily. She was tired of filling in blanks and this was not a good time for it, “I wasn’t there. Xan-man and I got to be chummy and shit, but I really don’t know the story. Somethin’ happened at your fuckin’ wedding is all I got. Demon dude and shit bustin’ it up. That is really all I know.”

Melody just gave a shrug toward the couple, and they went quiet, hoping that the demon was the whole story, but knowing that, if Anya were back to vengeance and their wedding failed, it wasn’t a good sign.

Buffy was sitting against the wall as close as she could be to Dawn, “She’s crying! Why is she crying? Is this hurting her?!”

Giles immediately kneeled just outside the circle near Dawn, giving Tara a look as well.

Melody spoke up this time, “Tara’s been crying a couple times now.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Giles voice was angry.

“She has to root through some her soulmate's worst memories. Death of friends, her own death, dark Willow,” the vampire tried to summon calm, as the worry they all felt was justified. Even she was worried, “To be honest, I figured there’d be more.”

Giles clenched his jaw once again, “If Tara’s crying over memories, then what is Dawn crying over?”

Faith made her way over near Giles and gave Dawn’s face a look as well, “She don’t look like she’s in pain. Maybe she ain’t just an energy source. Maybe she’s seein’ shit, too.”

The group gave each other anxious looks all around, wishing this would be over, and the two would come back. Hopefully, with Willow.
-x-

The next scene became clear. Explicit paintings hung on the walls, the windows covered with heavy dark curtains. While Tara seemed confused about her surroundings, Willow wasn’t. The dingy walls, the low light from a cheap chandelier. It was her worst nightmare, made even more horrible because Tara was about to witness it. She grabbed Tara’s arm as fast as she could, pulling them into a dark corner behind the deep, maroon blackout curtains.

Tara looked to Willow, but the redhead wouldn’t meet her gaze, so she turned her attention to the room. Unfortunately for Willow, Tara’s position afforded more of an angle to see the memory, as Dawn came carefully into the room looking for Willow. This is when Tara noticed an upside down, hanging man at the same time as Dawn.

‘Oh no.’

‘Dawn? What?’ Tara asked, not only seconds before she figured it out on her own.

“Hey cutie.”

Blue eyes grew wide, as she took in the site of Willow. Her hair was black as night, veins around her face, black eyes. This had to be….

“Dawnie, what are you doing here? ‘Cause if you’re looking for me? Now’s not a great time.”

Time seemed to stop for Tara, but Willow, was on a whole new level. This was it. Maybe Tara knew, but now she would KNOW. The look she imagined she was about to receive, she almost wished Tara had been here to take her to hell.

“Did you kill that guy?”

Dark Willow looked over to the man in question, “It’s an improvement, believe me.”

This was beyond her nightmares, as Tara used every ounce of willpower to look over at Willow. The real Willow.

It seemed Dawn was worried about what she was thinking, ‘That’s the real Willow. The one next to you. You HAVE to remember who she really is.’

Willow’s eyes were closed, held shut tightly, trying to block out the pain of what was to come. Tara carefully reached for her hand, slowly so as to not draw attention to a movement behind the curtain. This was definitely not a moment to get caught. She weaved their fingers together after a few torturous seconds of trying to get her love to stop clenching her hand into a fist.

Green eyes opened, looking down at their hands, before finding blue eyes. Never had Tara seen such fear from Willow, so she squeezed their hands, pouring every ounce of love she could into her grip.

“Did you cry? Of course you did. I get that,” Dark Willow was starting to back Dawn into a corner.

“I understand the crying, you cry because you’re human. But you weren’t always,” the smile she wore caused Tara’s blood to run cold.

“Yes, I was,” Dawn said defiantly.

“No, please. You’re telling me you don’t remember? You used to be some … mystic ball of energy. Maybe that’s why you’re crying all the time, Dawnie. ‘Cause you don’t belong here,” the room felt cold now. Fear surrounded them. Especially when Willow’s darker half paused a moment.

Willow had seen this scene many times at this point, knew that her other self sensed something. Black eyes glazed over the curtain for just a moment. Dawn’s small cringe brought her attention back.

“Wanna go back? End the pain? You’ll be happier. I’ll be happier. We’ll all be a lot happier without listening to the constant whining,” Willow cringed at her own words as they left her shadow’s mouth.

“Willow, stop…” Dawn cried through clenched teeth.

“ ‘Mom, Buffy, Tara! Waah!’ ” Dark Willow was mocking the young teen, “It’s time you go back to being a little energy ball.”

Even with her hand shaking slightly, Tara refused to let go of Willow’s hand, despite the redhead trying to drop it in shame.

“I think you need to get away from her,” Buffy’s voice carried from the now open doorway.

‘She… she was going to turn you back, like actually turn you back into the key?’ Tara’s shock could be heard, even in her thoughts.

Dawn’s voice came through small as she croaked, ‘It wasn’t her. Grief, pain. I-it wasn’t her. Tara, please. Don’t give up on her. Please, please.’

By the time Tara tuned back into the conversation, Buffy had gotten Dawn behind her, and was trying to talk Willow down.

“Let me tell you something about Willow. She’s a loser. And she always has been. People picked on Willow in junior high school, high school, up until college. With her stupid mousy ways. And now? Willow’s a junkie,” Dark Willow started advancing on Buffy now.

“I can help,” Buffy was still trying reason.

“The only thing Willow was ever good for…” For a moment, even with the black eyes, you could see the pain in Willow, “…the only thing I had going for me … were the moments – just moments – when Tara would look at me and I was wonderful. And that will never happen again.”

The scene was gut wrenching. Tara wasn’t sure how to feel once more. As Dark Willow was now turned away from their hiding spot, she tried to find Willow’s gaze. When she couldn’t get emerald eyes to meet hers, she carefully reached to grab her cheek, hoping Willow could hear her like Dawn could, ‘I love you.’

Teary green eyes met determined and pained blue, not daring to believe. Tara was putting yet another pin in a memory, as they would definitely be discussing Willow’s speech about being a loser.

Willow turned her attention back as the scene continued in front of them. She listened for what seemed like the hundredth time as her darker self berated Buffy’s existence, “The one where you lie to your friends when you’re not trying to kill them? And you screw a vampire just to feel? And insane asylums are the comfy alternative? This world? Buffy, it's me. I know you were happier when you were in the ground. The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life is when you were dead. Until Willow brought you back.”

Things started to dim once again, and Tara was confused, as the memory didn’t seem complete.

“You know, with magic?”

Tara didn’t know what was going on, but the three disappeared, and the scene became a beautiful day outside. She recognized the area. They were on Kingman’s bluff. This time, Tara watched from behind some foliage as Dark Willow tried to destroy the world, until Xander jumped in the fray.

None of these scenes would ever leave her memory, as Xander talked her love down, giving everything of himself to his best friend, down to his life. As Tara watched black hair vanish, giving to the beautiful red that Tara loved so much, she wished for the simple days, when they were first together, their first kiss, their first date.
The beautiful, and horrible day disappeared from view, as black surrounded them once more. She kept a firm grip on the real Willow’s hand.
-x-

The scene became her old dorm room, realizing she had directed them to an earlier memory. Thankfully, for the moment, it was empty. She had to get them out of here. Had to break through to Willow and figure out how to bring her out of this.

“Why are you covered in dirt?” Willow asked randomly, as the light in the room and the lack of drama finally allowed Willow a full view of her everything.

Tara looked down and realized she was, in fact, covered in a bit of dirt, “Must have been when I was under your parent’s porch.”

“What? Why were you under my parent’s porch?” Willow wore a baffled expression.

“It’s been a l-long day,” Tara replied, looking around her.

Tara turned to Willow, who was looking around now as well, “I only get to see this on rare moments. This room,” Willow’s voice was sad, “I don’t know why, but I get to see them. Sometimes.”

“Get to see what?” Tara gave her full attention to Willow.

“Good moments. You holding me close when I’m hurt, taking care of me. When you kissed me awake. Another one was us snuggled together, your face in my neck,” her look seemed far away, as if the memories were so distant that she had to search hard to remember, “I don’t know why, but I get them.”

Tara wasn’t stupid by any means, and even with all that was going on, she could piece this together, “I carried you, when you were injured, to Xander’s car. I kissed you when you wouldn’t wake up in his apartment, and I held you exactly like that with my face in your neck when we hadn’t figured out how to get you back yet. They weren’t random, Willow. You’re still connected to the real world. We just have to figure out how to get you back there.”

The redheads eyes went downcast, as she stared at their joined hands, “I’m so tired, Tara. I’m just… exhausted. Even if we get me back… I don’t know how much I have left, baby.” Everything in her was screaming that she just wanted it to end. Just wanted peace. Yet, the love of her life was in front of her, holding her hands, loving her even after all she had heard, had seen.

“You’re my Amazon, Will. You don’t have to do this alone,” Tara dropped one of Willow’s hands, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, “I’m not saying we don’t have a lot to work through, or talk about. I’m definitely not s-saying this will be easy. There’s still a war back there, but you have me now. This is a gift. We have a chance to be together for at least awhile longer. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but you have ME.” Tara wiped a stray tear from Willow’s right eye, grazing over the scar she now wore there. It felt like the crying would never stop.

‘And me!’

Tara giggled, “Dawn says you have her, too.’

Willow once again met Tara’s gaze as she talked, then sighed, “I’m no good, Tara. Look at everything I’ve done. That’s… that’s not the first time I’ve almost hurt Dawnie. Go ahead. Ask her who held a gun to her.”

Tara became confused, as she couldn’t fathom why Willow would resort to gun violence, especially after what happened with her own death.

‘No! No! She doesn’t get to pull that. That wasn’t her fault. World ending, maybe her fault, but it wasn’t her, it was grief and she paid for it. The gun thing? That was Amy. Amy can go to hell.’

“Amy?” Tara said the name, and Willow now knew with certainty that Dawn was somehow talking to Tara.

The explanation was going to have to wait. The door was now being unlocked, the two ducking into the small dorm closet.

A younger Tara came into the room, followed by a younger Willow. They were laughing, and the room felt light after all the other memories they had been in recently. They let the scene play.

“I c-can’t believe you d-did that,” Tara was giggling as she was trying to talk.

Willow set her stuff down on the desk, turning back to her friend, “Well, he was being all mean, and homophobic. I was… I was defending your honor. Don’t I get points for that?”

Tara shook her head still laughing, “You m-magically released his b-belt… Kind of k-karmic for us that h-he didn’t h-have underwear on. I d-didn’t wanna s-see that.”

Willow blushed, “I didn’t know he was going commando! I mean… that’s gotta be uncomfortable for dudes, right?”

The older Tara rolled her eyes and looked over to her Willow, who held a very sheepish look, much like her younger self. She could also hear nothing but giggles in her head, which meant Dawn was more than entertained by Willow’s antics.

“It w-was really s-sweet of you to d-defend my honor like that,” Young Tara gave young Willow her patented half smile, which made Willow’s insides melt, “N-next time c-can you do it w-without the after show?” Tara asked as she turned around to pick up something off the floor. A crash sounded behind her. Young Tara whirled around towards the sound, finding Willow on the ground.

“I tripped! I’m sorry, I just, I fell over the uh, well, the chair was there, and I didn’t see it,” Willow was scrambling and failing to get up.

It had been plain as day to the women in the closet that the redhead had fallen victim to staring at Tara’s butt as she moved through the room. Older Tara pointed at Willow and whispered, “I knew it!” Wide eyes and a very sheepish smile greeted her accusation.

“A-are y-you alright?” Young Tara’s worried expression held slight amusement and suspicion as she helped the younger Willow off the ground.

The redhead dusted herself off, even though there wasn’t anything to wipe away, “Sorry. Spaz. I’m a spaz. Knocking over your furniture randomly, accidentally giving us way more of that jerk than we wanted to see…” She trailed off.

Tara had helped her gain her feet again, but the currently blonde and beautiful woman in front of her was now only a mere two inches from her face, and the world stopped.

Their eyes met, both darker shades than usual. It was like a powerful force was pulling her towards Tara. They’d been friends for two months now, and everything was getting more intense by the day. Willow had figured out what she was feeling, but that didn’t stop her nerves, or her fears about what her friends would think.

As it turned out, none of that mattered. Not in this moment. Not now. Their lips touched whisper soft, and Tara couldn’t believe what was happening. In all the things she had ever endured, have ever seen or experienced, this was the most amazing event of her life so far. The woman she had instantly fallen for was in her dorm, kissing her.

The homophobe didn’t matter, Willow’s ex being a man didn’t matter, nothing outside these walls was important. She felt the slight pressure lift off her lips, but she wasn’t ready to give up the feeling just yet, not knowing if she’d ever get this chance again. It was selfish, she knew, since Willow probably was very confused, but she needed it. More than she needed to breathe. So she lifted her hands to Willow’s face quickly, and pulled her back with more pressure. Slightly moving her lips against the redhead’s, she felt a sweet lightening through her entire body as Willow responded by doing the same.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, capturing each other’s lips. Willow pulled at Tara’s waist, their bodies molding together like yin and yang, a perfect balance.

The two older versions couldn’t figure out whether to look away or watch as it seemed like a private moment, but it was their private moment. Willow lifted her eyebrow at Tara, clearly trying to see what she thought they should do.

‘Awwww.’

Since she couldn’t glare at Dawn, she sent her glare towards Willow, who became more confused before she heard Tara whisper as quiet as she could, “Dawnie.”

For the first time since entering this realm and finding Willow, Tara saw her smile fully. Dawn would always cheer them on, no matter how bad things got.

Unfortunately, reality took that moment to fade the light around them. It was time for another memory.
-x-

Buffy’s backyard came into view around them, as they both gave each other a look. Willow only had one memory that repeated here, so she once again pulled Tara into a hidden area, just before Dawn appeared out of thin air where they had been standing.

Tara gave a concerned look, but realized this Dawn didn’t have a scar, which meant this was a memory of Dawn teleporting. Not sure if that was any better, Tara watched the scene unfold.

Warren came into the backyard, “Think you can just do that to me? That I’d let you get away with it?”

Dawn looked confused, “Willow… I didn’t…”

Warren pulled a gun, “It’s too late for explanations. This is what I am. I made it happen, and I’ll make it stop.”

Dawn looked at the gun and put her hands up slightly, “Willow, this was Amy. She did some sort of punishment curse thing on you. You’re letting Warren win. You didn’t make anything happen.”

“I killed her. You know it, I killed her!” Willow’s very man like hand shook as she held the gun on Dawn.

Tara finally understood. Amy put a curse on Willow. Probably one that made Willow choose her own punishment, and it was now out of hand. She looked towards the real Willow, and once again grabbed her hand and laced their fingers.

“Willow, y-you haven’t killed anyone except Warren, and I’m uh, pretty sure you… or he was a dude,” Dawn looked very nervous, but more so, she looked miserable for Willow.

“You were there. You came in wanting a story, then Buffy needed something…. Everything just kept happening…. I forgot. I forgot and now she’s dead. I let her be dead!” Willow collapsed crying on the ground. Dawn let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, rushing over to Willow.

Dawn pulled Willow into her, feeling odd as it definitely didn’t feel like Willow. She put her awkward feeling aside immediately, “You didn’t kill Tara. Warren did. You forgot to kiss her picture, that’s why? Isn’t it? Willow, she’s always here. In you. In me. Our memories keep her alive. She knows you love her. She knows, I swear.” Dawn was crying now, as she held tight to Willow, “You can beat him Willow. It’s just her. Amy did this, don’t let her take you away, too. Please? Please don’t leave. I can’t lose you, too.”

Willow looked into Dawn’s baby blue eyes, “He’s winning, Dawnie. I can’t make it stop, I can’t hold on. She’s gone, and I can’t hold on.”

“I forget sometimes,” Dawn whispered to Willow, “I hug her picture by my bed everyday, and I talk to her, but sometimes I wake up late, or Buffy needs something. I forget. We didn’t do this. Please don’t leave us, Willow. You’re part of my family. I can’t lose anyone else. Please, fight. For me. For Tara.”

Warren’s brown eyes started to give to Willow’s green as Dawn revealed her own pain, and tried to desperately cling to hope that Willow could win. Brown hair lengthened, turning to Willow’s beautiful red.

The bulk of the memory now over, Tara turned to Willow, whispering, “Always. I’m always here.” She put her hand over Willow’s heart. The memory faded.
-x-

This time, the bronze pieced together around them. Having learned by now, they quickly took to a dark corner that was unoccupied. This was dangerous territory, as any one of these people could know them, and Tara was nervous. Everyone seemed to be at a standstill, and she spotted Oz on stage. She turned to Willow, “We have to get out of this place. How do we get out of here?”

Willow shook her head, “I didn’t even know you’d be able to come here, or what here was gonna be.”

“Giles said I have to figure out what’s holding you here and destroy or disrupt it,” Tara filled in what little more she knew.

Willow gave Tara a surprised look, “Giles? He’s alive?”

“Sweetie, we all are. Buffy, Xander, Anya, Giles, Dawn, Faith, Melody. Even Spike,” Tara filled in, “But we need to figure out how to get back to them.”

Just then, the door came open, and they both finally took in the scene, as a younger Willow entered not five feet from them, in a full leather outfit. Tara’s eyes about bugged out of her head, while Willow smacked her hand to her forehead.

“Hi. I’m back” Young Willow smiled and waved at the vampire who opened the door.

“Did you find the girl?” A male vampire asks. Tara then realized it was a younger Anya standing next to him.

With as much fake courage as she could, Willow tried to sound authoritative, “Yep. I did.”

“Where is she?” Anya was in shock. She was supposed to be getting her necklace back.

“I killed her,” Willow explained trying to sound assured of her decision.

Anya gave her a look of complete disbelief and horror.

“And sucked her blood, as we vampires do,” She gave herself a nod of approval.

Tara could not stop herself as she silently giggled watching the scene as well as seeing the real Willow blush the color of her hair, “You’re, um, not great at the acting, huh sweetie?”

Willow just looked mortified.

“Well, um, that’s uh… that’s um…. Some outfit,” Tara was now also blushing as she felt Willow smack her arm playfully.

“I’m seventeen, you perv!” Willow exclaimed quietly, but was starting to giggle herself. They watched as ‘Vampire Willow’ attempted to run her hands through some random girls hair, and Tara lifted an eyebrow at her, “I was trying to be all smooth!”

‘Yeah. Smooth Willow. You got tangled. Even Oz is showing emotion right now by smiling,’ Dawn giggled.

Tara almost laughed out loud, catching herself just in time. She was glad Willow couldn’t hear Dawn.

While this particular memory was fun, Tara really needed to get them out of here. As long as they stayed here, all three of them were in serious danger. She tried to think of a memory where they would have the ability to talk. That’s when it came to her.
-x-

When the bronze memory faded, the training room at the magic box became their new scenery. Willow was more than curious as she peered out into the shop. Steve Maclay was visible, talking to Tara about going home.

Before she had time to be upset, Tara pulled her out the other door quietly, landing them in the deserted alleyway, “I chose this on purpose. Thank the Goddess we appeared in the training room. I w-was afraid we would be back in the loft like I was earlier.”

“How many memories did you see before you found me?” There was no anger in Willow’s voice, but her curiosity was peaked as she remembered Tara’s non explanation of being under her parent’s porch.

“A few. We can go over that when we get out of here,” Tara didn’t want to lose track again, “Also, we have some discussions ahead.”

Willow pouted, “Awe, come on. You just saw me in a one piece leather outfit, can’t we be even?”

Tara lifted an eyebrow, “That will n-never leave my brain, and I’m sorta ok with that. Willow, there has to be something else. Something we're missing.”

‘What about the final memory?’ Dawn’s voice came through.

“Final memory?” Tara asked out loud. Willow gave her a confused look, before Tara pointed to her head.

Willow took a second before it came to her that she was responding to Dawn, “My final memory was right before I cast the spell to travel back.”

“I guess that’s a place to start, but I’m not sure what that will do, if anything,” Tara said as she tried to think about other possibilities.

As they didn’t have anything else, and the memory was winding down, they decided to go for it.

“You came for me. Do you know what could happen? If we’re seen?” Willow couldn’t believe that after everything, Tara had still come for her.

Tara just grabbed her cheek again, “Always. I will always find you.” She repeated the very first words she heard when Willow had brought her back from Glory’s mind warp.
-x-

Ariel

There are several things I have not discussed between the characters at this time. I will address them later on, such as Dawn having seen the Buffy memory. I promise that type of stuff goes inmy notes for future chapters as best I can.

I absolutely adore this story so much, it’s genuinely brilliant, this chapter was so heart warming and breaking all at once.

_________________
- I am a poster girl with no poster, I am 32 flavours and then some -

Really loving this as well!
I am so impressed that you have weaved this story that is so complex in many ways and yet- during these last two parts in particular- everything hones down to, not a simple state, but one that is focused and pure in its intent . Both are great and have made this story so fleshed out
Thank you for going where you are with Willow- and, oof, that bit about Willow being the big gun and then Buffy dying so soon after she took up the mantle - that was rough but so astute- of course Willow would take on that blame and guilt .And yet, you still make it clear that Willow did do hurtful things, I love that Tara is firm that they need to talk- that she is holding on to her self-worth enough to still need those things addressed, while also gaining more information about where Willow was coming from- compassion, empathy, and strength: very Tara.

Can't wait for more!

_________________
You ARE Magic ~ Tara

Chapter 20 below.

Just a quick thank you for the patience. This story will not be abandoned. We all know life changes, and I have recently had a change in jobs. I won’t update as often (as you’ve probably noticed) but I will update and this story will be finished, with just as much careful attention to detail and characterization as previous chapters. When I’m off for an extended period of time, I may even be able to do more than one chapter. Thank you all for your reviews, and I hope to continue giving you the high standard our scoobies (especially Our girls) deserve. Another quick thank you and also a welcome back to Laragh! Her help and continued support are amazing, and her return to her writing is a wonderful and powerful sight.

Chapter 20~

Tara was looking around a very ruined shop. By the looks of the products that were left, it used to be a hardware store. She could see some light through a doorway, and what looked to be sleeping bags and empty food cans. The sounds of Faith giving fighting instruction came from outside.

Willow recognized it immediately, as it had been their home for many months. She gently guided Tara to a darkened corner, as she saw herself appear, starting the setup to the spell.

As they quietly watched Willow’s shadow work quickly to set up for what she thought would be her final stand, Tara also took in the site from the large shop window. The desolate landscape she saw was giving her chills. There was no green anywhere, and smoke rose into the sky, although she couldn’t quite see where it started. The shadow finally stood, pulling out something she recognized immediately. The picture she’d found in Willow’s pocket only a few days prior.

“Baby, I’ve tried so hard to do what I could to protect them, be there like you would have,” tears now fell freely from her eyes, “but I can’t be your Amazon anymore. I wish I had you, more than anything, through all this. I promised I would always find you. So, as the literal last thing I’m going to do, is do my damnedest to make sure I live up to that.”

Tara remembered those words. They were the ones she’d heard in her head the night they’d found them at the tree, and brought them to Xander’s. Well, her version was slightly broken in fragments, so this must have been the whole speech it came from. Her blue eyes once again misted in sadness, as she looked over to Willow, who seemed lost in her own world.

Tara sat back for a moment to think while she waited for Willow to come out of her own head. She’d learned so much about Willow through this entire endeavor. It was completely unreal to Tara that things were so bad that such a move as sacrificing her very soul was Willow’s only way to save them.

‘She doesn’t think she deserves anything good anymore, Tara. She’s been locked in her own home made hell for years,’ Melody’s voice suddenly came back to her, ‘She never had an issue with the consequence of this spell because she believed she deserved it, deserved hell. For what she put everyone through, did to everyone, did to you.’

Tara looked over to Willow, “Why did others do it?”

“Huh?” Willow zoned back in, having heard the whispered question, but not understanding, “Why did others do what?”

“The world was ending, you had very little chance of survival and not much left to save. I get that, but you also thought… you believed that the consequences of this spell were something you deserved,” Tara’s sorrowful eyes met Willow’s. The pain of the observation obvious, “Why did others do this spell?”

Willow shook her head, “From what I understand, and the accounts of those who were with those witches, they felt they had no choice. They dug themselves into a hole, and it was their only chance to make things right. The woman who started all of this? Who designed the spell? She somehow warped a demonic power for dimensional travel. There’s not much on her, but it seemed she had endangered her family,” Willow gave a sad smile and a short and hollow laugh, “Maybe we’re related.” She quickly wiped the smile off her face at Tara’s look. Tara had always hated when she put herself down.

For her part, Tara’s brain started to work again. Maybe it wasn’t anything holding them to this place, so much as them holding themselves. It seemed that the speculation of no one waking up came from the one who started this in the first place. What if guilt and blaming themselves is what tethered them here?

The major consequence of this spell was never to wake, or so it seemed, because the creator never woke. So it was the curse of this spell only to use it in dire need, and you would sacrifice yourself in the process. The only ones who would do such a thing would be people who had no problem sacrificing everything for others. Only two types of people would be willing to do that more than likely. People like Buffy who would probably do anything to find a way that didn’t involve such demonic powers, or those who believed they were at fault for the situation loved ones were in, like Willow.

Willow had always been ahead of the curve, trying to race to find a way to help, to be the good guy, to save those that saved her. Inherently, it made it obvious that she saw herself, in the best of situations, as a band aid. In the worst, the reason for the problem… evil, bad.

“Willow, I think, well, I believe I know what’s keeping you here,” Tara started, knowing this was going to be difficult. She’d been trying to break Willow from this cycle of thought for as long as she’d known her and while she’d made steps, it seemed Willow had dug herself into a whole new level of blame since Buffy’s death and then even worse that day Warren changed the course of her world.

Willow found her gaze, slightly sorrowful, but had a resilience as well, “You think it’s me.”

Tara nodded, “Maybe it was never a forced consequence, but more a self made one. You believe yourself deserving of such a fate, and that’s what’s happening. You don’t belong here, Willow. You don’t deserve this.”

“Tara, how can you say that after what you’ve seen? Do I have to show you the car accident? That was me! Dawn can’t even say it wasn’t. That was my stupid decision, and I almost got her killed that night,” Willow looked away, the full force of her words echoing in her mind, “I put memory spells on you, I almost ended the world, I took the reigns with Buffy's resurrection,” Willow’s face was hard, her emerald eyes shining with angry tears, “It was me, who had you alone at the fair.” This last part was whispered so quietly that Tara almost didn’t catch it.

The overwhelming evidence of Willow’s words would not deter Tara from her love or belief in her soulmate, “It was also you who saved me from my family, you who loved me despite my secrets, past and almost getting you all killed. You who stood by Xander’s side through such a rough childhood, and you who hasn’t left Buffy’s side since day one.”

‘It was Willow who held and protected me through the end of the world, and who sacrificed again and again to be everything I could need while it all fell apart,’ Dawn spoke as well, her voice soft and seemingly tired now.

“Even Dawnie says it was you who gave everything you could to her while the world went to pieces,” Tara repeated for Willow’s ears, “You are not evil, Willow. We all do the best we can. Even I have things to answer for,” Tara shook her head as Willow went to protest, “You’re not perfect, you’ve screwed up. Sometimes badly, but you stood back up and did your best to make things right.”

Before more could be said, the environment started to change, and another memory was in front of them.
-x-

It had now been three hours, as midnight came upon the house. Buffy had asked Spike to do a short patrol just an hour earlier, while Melody volunteered to watch over the outside of the home for that time. She was grateful to Spike, as he had left her a pack of smokes and a lighter, though she knew they were probably stolen, or at the very least bought with stolen money.

Upstairs, Xander and Anya were dozing, Xander’s head against the wall, Anya’s in his lap. Giles was intently reading, Faith was laying next to Willow, staring at the ceiling and tossing a stress ball she’d found earlier, and Buffy was staring at the two in the circle, though her mind was wandering through different thoughts.

It was then that Buffy suddenly became very interested in Dawn once more, “Did anyone catch that?”

Giles looked up from his book, removing his glasses momentarily to rub his eyes, and Anya and Faith both sat up. Xander stayed in his position, the slight snore giving away that he hadn’t heard a word.

“What is it, B?” Faith questioned, as she saw no difference in the scene before her.

“Dawn. She… well, she shook,” Buffy was concerned. Neither woman in the circle had so much as moved a fraction since the beginning, only tears changing the scene every so often.

Giles lifted an eyebrow, trying to sense any change in the circle, “There doesn’t seem to be any change, Buffy. You may need to rest your eyes for a bit. Why don’t I put my reading down for awhile, and you…”

“I saw it Giles!” Buffy was adamant that she wasn’t losing her mind, “Her right hand shook.”

Anya was looking between the two before she looked back at the women in the circle, noticing herself that Dawn’s head was ever so slightly drooping, “Dawn’s head. Buffy's right.”

The room immediately became that of fearful excitement, everyone sitting up completely. Xander had even woken when Buffy had yelled at Giles.

“Does that mean they’re wakin’ up?” Faith gripped the bed where she now sat on the edge, before turning to see if Willow had changed any. Nothing seemed different about the redhead. She frowned. Turning back, she barely caught the slight , but quick jerk of Dawn’s head pulling up from the droop she had fallen in.

Anya gave a very worried look to Buffy and Giles, “That’s not coming out of the spell. Dawn’s energy is waning. They don’t have much more time.”

Buffy’s face became that of fear, following Giles look of concern to Anya, “She’ll pull back, right? Even if… if they don’t succeed… she won’t let herself and Tara go right? What can we do?!” Her voice was in panic, looking to Giles and then Anya for answers.

Melody had heard everything as she had been coming up the stairs when Buffy had yelled at Giles. She stood in the door, “There’s nothing we can do. We interrupt, the spell could easily falter and we lose them.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, face sullen.

“Melody is right, unfortunately. We must trust that Dawn will do what must be done. It seems we don’t have much longer to wait, one way or another,” Giles scoot over to Buffy, wrapping a fatherly arm around her shoulders. She took the comfort offered, but her heart thundered in her chest.
-x-

The landscape was definitely different from the one they had left. Beautiful green hills stretched out among them. Not far from their arrival point, a younger Willow sat beneath a tree watching the slight wind shift the trees and grass. She wore a slightly thick brown jacket.

Tara couldn’t help but be in awe of the picturesque scene. She looked to the real Willow, “Where are we?”

Green eyes shined in recognition, “This was my home for three months. It’s Westbury, England. Giles brought me to a coven here after….” Her eyes closed momentarily.

Tara wondered what had brought them here, finally settling on Willow trying to figure everything out that they had talked about. She couldn’t blame the redhead, it was truly a place of beauty.

They sat for awhile, simply watching until they saw Giles approach on a horse. Tara smiled at the sight, as she loved horses growing up, and Giles seemed so comfortable on it. She wondered why he had never mentioned anything before.

They were a bit too far to hear the conversation, as it was such a soft and gentle one, though it seemed as Willow had pulled a flower from the ground that didn’t look like it fit in with the other foliage of the area.

Before Tara could ask, Dawn’s voice came through her mind, and it caused Tara’s heart to sink, ‘Tara, I’m sorry. I can feel my strength falling. I think I’m running low on energy.’

Tara simply said, “It’s ok, Dawnie.”

Willow looked up at the soft words with inquisitive eyes, meeting Tara’s, once again, tearful ones, “If she’s been here with you, that means she helped with the spell. She’s losing strength, isn’t she?” Only sadness came through her voice. Dawn had risked just as much as Tara had, and for that Willow would forever be appreciative, no matter how this ended.

Tara met her green orbs, nodding at Willow’s words, smiling sadly at how quickly Willow could pick up on the subtle things, “It’s time for us to go, my Willow,” She took a gentle hold of Willow’s cheek, stroking it softly with her thumb, as she wiped away fresh tears.

Willow leaned into the contact, but could not speak. Her words were frozen in her throat, as she wasn’t sure what to do. How was she supposed to release herself?

“I know, sweetie,” Tara whispered, leaning their foreheads together. This was their safe place, their home. The combination of all they were as individuals and as one love could be felt in this small space, “I believe in you. Your story…. OUR story, isn’t done yet. Come back to me. They all love you, Will. I love you. You can do this. Let go of it. The pain, the anger. If you can’t believe for yourself that you’re not evil, then believe me. Would I ever lie to you about that? I know you’re tired my Willow, but don’t leave me so easily.”

Willow's whole body shook for a moment, taking in the words of the one she loved so deeply, trusted so wholeheartedly, that she had risked all to get back to her. How Tara could ever believe that leaving her in any way was easy, she didn’t know. Of course she wanted nothing more than to hold this woman for the rest of eternity. To be a part of the light and love that radiated from everywhere around Tara. And this is what Tara wanted and needed, was it not? She’d said it herself. How could she deny her anything, even though she believed herself so undeserving of such a tremendous and compassionate heart.

‘I’m so sorry, Tara.’

The world around them started to shake, and Tara’s last sight was Willow’s green eyes, full of love and indecision.
-x-

All eyes were fixed on the circle and the two scoobies inside it, with the exception of Faith, whose eyes were between Willow and the spell area. It had been another half hour since Dawn’s hand had shaken and her head had fallen ever so slightly, only to be righted seconds later. The room was full of nervous energy.

Not one word was spoken. The house was quiet. Finally, after what seemed like ages to the group, Dawn breathed in heavily, a change from her shorter and more concentrated breathing. Before she could hit the floor falling backwards, Buffy was there, holding her from behind. Both pairs of blue eyes opened, Tara slowly sitting up with the help of Xander and Anya.

After everyone silently assured that they were both alright, Giles spoke softly, seeing that Willow had yet to awaken, “Were you able to find Willow? What happened?”

Tara’s gaze found his warm brown one, nodding before attempting to make her way to the bed. As she couldn’t even manage a standing position on her own, Xander took the helm and lifted her to the bed. Faith moved off to the side Willow was laying on, standing and staring intently at the still unconscious form, while Xander set Tara in the now vacant spot. Xander and Anya stood at the end of the bed, while Giles stood next to Buffy who held Dawn protectively against her chest. Melody stood by the door.

After another full minute of silence, nervous eyes started darting around the room, seeking out others with the same worried intensity. Only Dawn, who was barely holding on to consciousness in Buffy’s arms, and Tara who was also looking exhausted, kept their attention on Willow only.

For the first time in her difficult life, Faith prayed. She didn’t know who she was praying to, or if she really thought it would do anything to help the situation, but she kept thinking the same words over and over, ‘Please. I finally care, someone finally fuckin’ believes in me. Please.’

The clock now read three quarters past the midnight hour. Fifteen minutes since the ending of the spell, and silence was still the only answer they all received. Tears had already been flowing on faces. Buffy looked down to Dawn, seeing her fighting so hard to stay awake, she started to turn. She wanted to get Dawn comfortable in her own bed. It was the least she could do for her baby sister, but Dawn wouldn’t have it.

“No,” the young woman shook her head, protesting the move. Her voice may be weak, but the edge to it was not lost.

Giles could not meet her eyes, but he spoke to Dawn none the less, “Dawn, you need rest. That was an extremely difficult spell. If anything changes, we will inform you immediately.”

Dawn simply shook her head, refusing to give in. Buffy looked to her Watcher, their father in all sense but blood. The absolute devastation in his eyes was unbearable. She swallowed hard.

The rest of the gang were now looking to Dawn, and were ready to share the same opinion as Giles. Tara was the only one whose eyes were still directly on Willow, Dawn having been moved out of the line of sight for the moment. A sliver of emerald made itself visible, though the lids surrounding the vibrant color were very heavy. Tara’s heart leapt in her chest, wondering if she had finally passed out, and this was a dream.

In the softest voice anyone had ever heard from the usually so bubbly redhead, Willow spoke to Tara, drawing the attention of every single eye in the silence of the room, “Amazon.” It was only one word, but it was enough. The air in the room lightened, and tears of pain became tears of joy. Willow moved to cover Tara’s hand, before once again falling into unconsciousness.

Before anyone could start to panic, Melody stepped up, “Why don’t we let everyone rest? They are all obviously exhausted.” She couldn’t hide the smile, even though she tried. Dawn was smiling larger than life before nodding and finally giving into it herself.

Faith mimed to Melody a need for a smoke, which had them retreat for the stairs as Buffy made for Dawn’s room. Xander and Anya didn’t wish to leave tonight, so they were given a makeshift bed on the floor between Faith’s chair and Giles on the couch. Melody retreated to the basement after filling Spike in, Faith dismissing his insistence to speak with Buffy and sending him home for the night with a simple ‘Thanks’ as his only prize.
-x-

Buffy stood in the darkness of the abandoned high school, staring off into the night through one of the large holes in the wall. Her face a mask of annoyance.

“You didn’t think they could pull it off. Now, it’s definitely going to be a challenge, both them up n’ runnin’ and they know what’s to come. Dirty. Filth. Born that way,” Caleb came from behind, his black outfit a copy of men who are supposed to believe in things far from the evil he followed so closely.

Buffy simply turned her face toward him, “We also know what’s to come. They can fix their mistakes. Won’t make any difference. Round two, Caleb. How about we don’t split at the last second this time, hmm?”

He locked his jaw, angry at the reminder of the story The First had told him of his defeat by the Slayer. This time wouldn’t see her slip past him with less than a death wish.

As if reading his mind, The First morphed in to Willow, “I want the witches dead. Don’t get distracted by Buffy. While she is a force to be reckoned with, her main power comes from those who continue to stand at her side. Kill them all, but start with the witches.”

“Its gonna be like the old times. I’ll have ‘em burnin’ at the stake, wishin’ they’d never laid their filthy little eyes on a spell book.” His twisted smile came back, thinking about all the possibilities.

The First had other plans also, as it morphed into Xander, “Surprises around every corner,” Turning into Anya, “Round two will be a hell of a lot shorter, and a lot more fun,” It finished off its final figure, Giles looking at the dark sky, “I suspect we shall encounter quite the resistance, but we’ll be well prepared.”
-x-
It was now almost time for the night to leave and the morning sun to start its slow rise above the horizon.

Back on Revello Drive, Buffy was staring at the night sky herself. She was both elated at having Willow back, and concerned for the looming war. Giles had warned them that the council members who had volunteered their services would arrive with the first batch of Potential Slayers within a few days. This also came with the surprising notion that the council was also looking to find a way for them to be at least a little bit more comfortable with a bigger home, though she had no idea where they were going to get that in Sunnydale or if she could handle leaving her mother’s house just yet.

“You good, B?” Faith came out the back door, pulling out a cigarette she’d gotten from Melody.

Buffy didn’t even flinch, “Aren’t you supposed to be inside? Where the outside world and its authority figures can’t see you?”

Though Buffy didn’t look over, she could practically hear Faith’s eyes roll, “If they spyin’ in your backyard, B, Sunnydale ain’t keepin’ ‘em busy enough anymore.”

“We’ve been so focused on just getting you all awake, moving, getting Will back. This war kind of took a backburner,” Buffy said after a little silence, “How insane is it that a WAR would take second place on the priority line for anything? Our lives feel like a big action movie.”

Faith chuckled a bit, “More like a long runnin’ show. If I remember, you always seem to get into shit on Tuesday’s.”

At this, Buffy looked to Faith, granting a small smile to her counterpart, “It already knows everything we know. Why didn’t it try to come after Willow like we thought it would? Or Tara? Why haven’t we heard anything about it or from it? You called it the torture of your existence, and Dawn said it hardly left you alone. So why isn’t it showing itself more? How are we going to do this?”

Faith held her hands up, one holding a smoldering cigarette, “Whoa, B. Take a chill. The First’s big thing is psyche out. Don’t let it do that without it even being ‘round. We do this one step at a time. Just like last time.”

“No offense, Faith, but last time had you end up here with a lot of tragic PTSD moments for all of you to share. We can’t just fight the battles. If we wanna win, we have to destroy it. Completely,” Buffy leaned forward on the porch railing and put her head in her hands.

“So, then that’s what we do,” Faith replied, not even a little phased, “B… Buffy. It don’t play fair, but that doesn’t mean it’s unbeatable. You shoulda seen you leadin’ all the baby Slayers. You made me follow you into battle feelin’ like we could do anythin’. I ain’t sayin’ we won’t lose no one, but I know you can do it. And now we got both super witches. Let’s kick some ass.”

Buffy lifted her head up, glancing at Faith, “How can you be so calm and level headed after all that you said happened?”

“Five by Five, B. We die or we don’t, but what matters is we make it as hard as possible for that bastard.”
-x-

All was quiet inside the house, as most of the others were asleep. Upstairs, one person sat stroking the hair of her love, having woken up a short while ago. Though exhausted, Willow couldn’t help but feel anxious in their old room.

She didn’t have to wonder what the date was. She recognized immediately the boxes that were now stacked in the corner, abandoned only after recent events put them on hold. Willow wondered if Tara was still planning to leave. It didn’t seem so, from the bit of conversations they had in the realm. Even for all the reassurance in the world from her love, Willow still felt like she had nothing left to offer. Looking down at the serene face she adored so much, she knew she would do anything asked of her. No matter what. Tara curled into her side more, her head on Willow’s shoulder. Tara was going to make the difference. That, she still believed.
-x-

Ariel

The first morphing into those who haven’t died yet? Chilling. Very curious for the next chapter. well done on the new job!

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- I am a poster girl with no poster, I am 32 flavours and then some -