I never set out to continue as I have. Personally on day 1 I had a tonne of negativity towards this thread.

It was set out as something to do in the foggy in-between of holidays to normality. A little something for people to focus on and get back into writing that they may have neglected in the hectic end of year. (No shade) by the time the thread was cleared I was done with it.

As a reader I found drabbles to be pointless and unfulfilling for what I read for.

The problem however is that I’m stubborn and I feel I add enough dead air here and didn’t want to truly add dead air as I won’t post anything I’m not willing to go give a go myself. So it started by me knocking out one for each prompt then I’ll call it done.

The last bit of what I’d call proper writing I did was “Do You Like Cats?” While I adore the fact I managed that story, I can only refer to it as my last hurrah. Everything onward just fell apart. I’d already picked myself up from a massive blow before writing that regarding fanfiction/fandom the whole etiquette. Immediately after I was in the swing of things regarding the holiday stuff I try to do for parts of the KB. Another blow happened after really trying and then it just felt like everything was blowing and I must be the big bad wolf.

This led me on a search to discover everything surrounding fanfiction/fandom etiquette. I will never not be terrified and completely saddened by what I found. The complete imbalance of reader and writer. The deep seething of creators of the works that inspired complete fandoms all because of money. The hypocrisy. The hate. The mob mentality in a, has to be approved, hive mind. The superiority complexes. If I believed anything of what I was told I truly am a monster for learning to interact with media as I have. To express no agreed/accepted emotion is mental instability. To have responsibility in topics it’s to be a puritan. An anti. Labels fly around at the flick of a wrist and you must be respectful of others, yet I don’t do labels but I’ve been given them. If you don’t fit the boxes you’re ostracised. For something wrapped in a façade of open arms, all-inclusive positive community driven fun, why does the loneliness speak the loudest?

I’m not social media savvy but what I found was that no one actually talks to each other. It’s a bunch of voices saying words and someone will reply with the same words but mean something completely opposite. Words have no definition, they have labels of what they mean and that can cast a wide bracket and depending on what the person reading the shout into the void determines what part of the bracket they want it to mean then that’s when all hell breaks loose. Inevitable social media posts about comments they don’t like. Hundreds of people dragging the commenter through the mud for no context and few words. This will never be said to the commenter though. Back talking, private communities just to hide face but is seen as being respectful. A differing opinion is deemed hate. Concrit is a term I despise now because it’s not even a word it’s a linchpin to launch truly disturbing behaviour instead of people sharing their experiences and thoughts. Yet even those need to be validated to have any merit or you’re deemed yet another uncomplimentary label. But hey, don’t like don’t read, it’s for fun. Even those are labels without definite definition. But you know if you’ve crossed someone’s definition of it. Heaven forbid if it’s not your default or you haven’t mind read it as everyone’s default even with nothing said.

I just want to talk about Tara. A proper deep, exploration of character the way I used to when I was learning. Mustn’t mention characterization though. Instead I now know I had something very special and didn’t appreciate it when it was there. That ended much the same. Non collaborative, deaf ears and just going with it because my fight wasn’t wanted. The same feelings are held now with Fanfiction/fandom. Why do I want to share with people who don’t accept differences that’s different to the differences they champion? Open minded only to the parameters of their own mind. Dare not to entertain any thoughts not agreed with or not said in the exact way that things have to be said. The hope of having that conversation is now gone.

I scrapped everything.

All this meant I wasn’t working on what brought me here. Justice for Tara Maclay. At this point id been on the same chapter for over a year but progress was being made in small bits. However by day 1 I don’t think I’d opened the document in over maybe 4 months. My focus was lost. It was no longer about Tara but about everything around any actual writing or a character who I find fascinating more than anything that’s come before.

At the start you may have caught on that I was trying different trope types of fanfiction stories. It wasn’t done with complimentary intent, it was done because those are the boxes that are allowed to be ticked. Trying to learn what it was about them that gain such attraction. Then I can say that I have written them when the opinion validation police assess my worthiness to comment. It’s fun to feel the need to prove yourself in a world that doesn’t see what I see and refuses to give a look through my lens but I must abide by theirs.

The bitterness hadn’t faded by the time I hit all twelve prompts and the challenge but neither had the ideas. That’s what drove me on. I hadn’t a use for these thoughts and jotting them down is a way to get rid. I haven’t saved any of these. They are posted here and that’s it, when they’re gone, they’re gone. And that started to appeal to me as well. The idea of not caring and tossing it away. So I pushed the rules of the KBs parameters, I don’t think they were picked up on and that appealed to me too. I didn’t have to write every explanation in a drabble, I could get away with things and this started to feel slightly rebellious. I couldn’t betray myself too much but I did in parts completely fudge characterisation just because it couldn’t be called out on. That would be rude and social media post worthy (never would by the way, I control what I do and that is horrendous behaviour I would never repeat just because it’s deemed okay). And when doing that it was a low, well it doesn’t matter day. If I didn’t like what I wrote, it didn’t matter, it’s not part of a wider story, it’s not going to effect a decision a character makes four chapters down the line. It’s just that moment. It’s only that moment when I type and it’s only that moment of that story.

Some days it was writing just to write, others I wanted to try something out. Then when watching Angel the series for the first time, it became a coping mechanism for holding on to the buffyverse I enjoyed. Throughout there are slices of scenes I thought about for the Justice for Tara Maclay series. And then there’s her, Mindless Tara. I don’t plan on writing anything with her in (I really should, I’m good at it and there’s so much meat there). Thanks to the valentines prompts, I could go to town with Mindless Tara however something I’ll go into when talking about the drabbles, it wasn’t Tara focused which surprised me.

I discovered that as a writer, drabbles are fantastic exercises.

Want to try an action scene, bam! Tara’s running. Want to look into some magic? Spells are being cast. Want to work on connections? Deep and meaningfuls delivered. Demon frolics? Make up a weird name or concept and write Tara and willow facing it. Gore? Oh there’s gore and an R rating. All without commitment. They are a snippet, a thought typed out and gone. I either liked it or didn’t but it doesn’t matter.

The consequence is I’ve started to write completely unrelated things in day to day that doesn’t relate to creative projects and it turns out to be exactly 100 words. To begin with I was cutting down a lot of words so I see this as an achievement of sorts that I can feel what 100 words is now. Some days it’s a mountain, others it’s nothing. I could be extending to fill that mark or I was cutting down, seeing what words I can get away with but still having the sentence make sense.

Now on Day 100 and I don’t know if I’ll continue as I have. I still haven’t touched my Justice For Tara Maclay document and I am certain my Tara conversation will not happen. I also know I cannot interact in the way I enjoy with works and as a result don’t read them as analysing stuff is half the fun for me. I would have liked if all those work went into Justice For Tara Maclay 10k words that could have finally got me past dead Things. Or even find something else I can enjoy but my mind is set on her. And I’m stubborn so I don’t think my need to tell that story will ever go away.

But here’s what I have done. I’ve managed to come up with a different idea every day. I have pushed myself in areas of writing I haven’t tried before. I have found that I enjoy writing series 4-6 Xander and really enjoy his relationship with Willow (Ignoring series 3/high school years crush stuff). I’ve worked with prompts again. I can say I’ve written a range of trope based fics. I have created Original characters who I’m rather fond of. I can claim to have written over 100 Tara and Willow stories. And you know what 10k words is 10k words more than I’ve written in a long time. So yeah I’ve written 10k words. If I completely ignore everything surrounding it and focus solely on just writing, I think I had fun doing it.

I thought I’d go through a few selected drabbles and talk about them. Reflect on them and give titbits of why they were written.

Starting with an early one - breast feeding.
I think It’s one of my favourites because it’s got the monster, it’s got the humour, it’s got characterisation of Tara being caring and willow being snippy but also has the social commentary on breast feeding. The joke being on Willow and Tara rather than the mums. It’s always how people react not the action. It looks like they’ve come in to the maternity ward to protest.


I’m pairing Dawn’s Diary with Phone sex.

I explain it in the author’s note but it really was an idea I had for a long time. I don’t think I’ve captured what I’m after yet but I do think it’s possible for a Willow and Tara story to be told without them as the character focus but very much the thematic focus.


I like to think I started strong then drifted because next I’m going for the chat fic.
I enjoy a typo and this is actually what I planned to explore with part of the Justice for Tara Maclay series. A long distance relationship while they’re both recovering independently because I feel the next stage in their relationship is growing individually but still seeing they can do it together without hurting each other. Its navigating how they can ask/give for support when each one needs it and communication is difficult in turbulent times for them both. What do they hide, what do they divulge. There’s so much of their relationship that doesn’t need words so when they only have words, how does that work?


Favourable features
Hate it. Absolutely cannot stand this one. I was having trouble with the prompt and thought heartbeat. Smut is a popular fic thing. I won’t write it for many reasons, I don’t like reading it for many reasons. I’m not digging at those who do. It’s not something I’m comfortable with so I don’t.
It was less than 50 words I think and I had to bulk it out but I don’t want to write that they kissed because that’s the act. I wanted the atmosphere before it, the build-up, and the hyper sensitivity. Losing yourself in that moment and just going for it. Not planned just what the motions led to. My skin was crawling writing it because while I don’t think I crossed my line, it was close to where I draw it.

I feel like duvetted is a word but it might be my first instance of making words up in drabbles. I didn’t want pillowed, that’s puffy. I wanted something soft but lazily sitting. It’s comforting and welcoming but not saying I’ve got conjunctivitis.

The term favourable features haunts me. Its poll worthy but so unsexy. Not one to judge on that but I mean if someone whispered in your ear, ‘I love your favourable features’ You’re going to laugh your arse off and then you might not have their favourable of features.


Imaginary frogs–
The idea of Tara going back in time to help high school Willow stemmed from my first rewatch when I imagined it in every scene. Every time Willow was in danger I would tell her it’s okay Tara is coming. She’d be useless but I’d get to see Tara. The idea that Tara uses Willow’s own nonsense to help her both highlights their connection and shows their similarity. It’s a nice play off on how much Willow has effected Tara.


Frozen loo Roll–
It was meant as a joke but in reality they really don’t show this side of romance. The undesirable small things that aren’t picture perfect. If it is its played as a significant moment whereas it’s the mundane every day. Washing grotty pants, dealing with nose offending smells. Waking to their hair in your mouth. Life doesn’t play out for a laugh, it just is and sometimes its really annoying and the funny, caring side isn’t seen in it.


It’s a Murder
Based on a true story, I just didn’t want to yell it out of my toilet window while I heard crows fight and my neighbours saying there’s a load of crows out front. I don’t regret not doing it because I don’t think they would have got the pun, or known who the weirdo yelling out the window while at work is.


Bagelcorn–
Another one that I don’t like as it just doesn’t work. Again it’s something I want to work on for Justice for Tara Maclay, the idea of feeling disconnected due to guilt regarding grief. Tara didn’t know Buffy as long as Willow and Dawn and so there’s an obligation almost for her to be less effected as such and allow them to grieve (although we know Willow doesn’t). Through the memory of Buffy and stupidity they all find a connection in their loss. Grief can have happy moments too and I think that summer of series 5 into series 6 has a lot to unpack. It was too high a concept to house in 100 words. It’s a topic that needs depth.


Luxembourg magician–
Love this guy. He’s absolutely off his rockers. My thought being how offended Willow would be if a kid party magician was against them. She gets annoyed at people stereotyping witches and this guy is the stereotype of how people see magic. All tricks and eccentric. His style is absolute nonsense while Willow goes with Logic. I like to think this guy is Willow’s nemesis


Mindless Tara – Boxes and Pick up.
Mindless Tara is best Tara but after “You’re My Always” I have found myself more drawn to Willows side of things. I really think they gloss over what she had to do even if only for a few days. How much she lost and while Willow is a bit much in Tough Love I feel her jab at Buffy whole heartedly saying wait until it happens to someone she cares about. Tara is collateral damage to Buffy but to Willow that’s a future gone. I get it, they’re not the main characters but they deserve more for what happened at the end of series 5 instead of focusing so much on did they spend all the money. So much unresolved for them but yet they’re all happy happy just to gut punch us repeatedly. They could have done that with continued threads from series 5 but no a coffee and Tara is back!


Scottish Surgeon –
I wanted to write something grim and dark but mainly I wanted to write an accent. I have a whole back story for this guy and I really enjoy that while he’s a dangerous idiot he has no time for Willows supposedly bad ass line. Her being called a wee dafty just seems apt.


The thing –
This is based on a true goings on. I was struggling for an idea that day and so I decided to be unhelpful. On a discord chat people were talking in their labels and no definition words and being all vague and I thought screw this. And started to describe feeling this thing but not saying what the thing was. The thing was not an object but and emotion or act and I would not allow the conversation to move forward. I would reply talking about that thing and how they couldn’t forget that thing because that thing knows that thing then you know that thing you know. And these places are hive minds which brought about the link. It’s how no one says anything but act like it’s something when it’s not. Its vapid meaninglessness weaponised.
I was getting people genuinely ask me if I was okay.


Zoo Zoom –
Yeah another true story. Not the bat stuff but last time I was at a zoo I was also pushing a wheelchair for the first time. A child had to jump out of the way. And people are dicks to people with disabilities, You should see how some people push wheelchair users around a zoo.


Cloud Watching –
Didn’t think there was a point in doing these drabbles any more. I like to write things with meaning, an expression, a reason for telling the story and drabbles weren’t being a vehicle for that. It was a little reminder that there’s a bigger picture to the minute reasons.


Cheerleader Dawnie–
I like the film.
But I found myself with these drabbles being able to do touches of seriesdoesntexist like they were bite sized amounts I could stomach. As seriesdoesntexist would be part of justice for Tara Maclay but I just cant with seroesdoesntexist. I think it did give me some gumption to keep thinking how to adapt it to alive Tara though as I do like the plot just none of the characters.


Everyone’s a murderer–
The morality of Buffy annoys me to no end. It’s very it’s my way or no way and she must see vampires as lesser as she doesn’t count it as murder but yet If she’s sleeping with them they’re all good.
I don't agree with Willow killing Warren but the way Buffy washed her hands of Tara's {redacted} and was just like, Willow's an addict let the police deal with the murderer I've neglected to sort out all series when I deemed them my problem but now they've actually done something, nah we got police for that. Where's the police with Katrina Buffy? oh right out the window as soon as you realised you didn't do it. Id get her point if it wasn't a whole series arc enemy.
Plus I liked the Willow defence line for Tara but had to cut out the ‘in’ for wordcount.


Must be bunnies–
Confession time. I ask AI to tell me stories of Tara breaking up fights between Anya and different holiday mascots or people dressed in bunny suits in radom locations. I also got it to tell me of Anya teaching Tara to break dance then getting into street dance battles. There’s not enough gen Anya and Tara friend stories and AI is so bad creatively I can only see it as crack.
Willow can tend the rabbits.


Donny Birthday–
I don’t get why it’s straight no contact and why it’s made out that they’re the worst family ever. Well I do but for me it makes no sense for Tara to not love her family. Abusive families aren’t all the same and they are still grieving (not an excuse, complex time, could increase attachment needs.). Yet I don’t get her mum being a saint in fanon either. The bar is not set that high to be liked over the members we saw.

It’s the 1990s, not hearing from your kid in months is a big deal. People made an effort to communicate back then. They did let Tara go to uni so they weren’t trapping her at home. Granted it comes off as a let off the leash thing but I think there’s so many more explorations to this but I unfortunately found that there’s a general feeling that going against fanon would cause backlash. But you know don't yuck peoples yums and write for yourself. hmmhmm*eyeroll*.

The memory thought came from the Orville episode, Twice in a lifetime. How one person has a whole life of memories while onlookers have that set bit of time and that can really alter how people view others. Such as Tara’s family we see that day, we don’t know all of Tara’s life.

I also think it might piss some people off, get a reaction.

Start with an idea. Keep it as a simple sentence. Don’t worry about the prompt (everything can be easily tweaked to match a vague word or bs your way around it), just have an idea.
Your idea could be a joke, action or interaction.
Write it.
Now decide of you want to write what makes that thing happen or what comes after that thing happening.

You’re first line should set the scene or tone. That could be a description of the scenery, writing an action or going straight into dialogue because while it’s short readers need an anchor.

Then have your idea.

Then play it out. Be it a twist making everything before a misdirection. Be it a cliff hanger or rounded resolution.

Your idea might work as your first line or as the last play out. In which case you have more words to expand forwards or backwards.


In my monotonous days I tended to find my structure was –

Something happens or is said.
Characters play with the words or run the reaction to the start too long.
Joke or heartfelt moment
Resolution/reflection or twist its meaning.


If you find you write over the word count write it anyway. Then highlight 100 words. Does it work in itself regardless of what you’re originally going for with it?

If yes, go for it.

If no, see what you can get away with. Does that character need to say that. Do people know that that character said that line anyway so the said part isn’t needed? Make up words. Specifically for Willow, if she babbles her words can run as one meaning a hyphen is your best friend for a long babble.

If you run too short, zhuzh it up. How does that character say it? Does their facial expression change with it? Does the scenery react with what’s said or done? Can you add in something at the end to spice it up or suggest moving the story forward?

For me I found a drabble was just a moment, not a full story in itself. It’s a teaser. The party food version of your favourite meal, a mini lasagne (Iceland’s were fucking grim and they fail to acknowledge lasagne isn’t finger food). So don’t worry if it feels cut short or not completely balanced. If one character comes off completely unhinged in a reasonable situation. Because it’s a moment and that doesn’t mean it’s everyone’s best one or most fulfilling one. It can be a bad photo but the reader still gets the gist of it even if they don’t get the explanation for it. That’s for their imagination. I think the more the reader thinks about it the more successful the drabble.

Obviously everyone has a different way of working. This could be wasted words on you and that’s cool. This is just the ways I’ve kind of discovered as I tried working through 100 days of writing drabbles. Have I mentioned that?