Opening A New Door
Take Me In, Into Your Darkest Hour
And I'll Never Desert You
I'll Stand By You
Willow heard a knock on the door and quickly strode across the room to answer it.
“Ms. M,” she greeted with a soft smile and returned a hug when it was offered.
“Willow,” Kimberly returned with a worried but ever-warm smile, “How’s it going?”
“Okay,” Willow nodded as she stood by to let Kimberly in, “She’s been…fraught. I think it’s brought up a lot of things she never had to think about and now there’s this kid too, in some foster home and she’s just…”
She sighed.
“Fraught.”
Kimberly put her hand against her heart.
“If I had any idea Donald had had any more children…”
“How could you?” Willow replied, shaking her head, “I…I know why you left. Tara’s, you know, told me everything she knows. You were right to leave it all behind. Not that you need my approval. I’m sorry, I…”
“Ssh,” Kimberly comforted, rubbing Willow’s arm, “I’m sure it’s been a disconcerting few days for both of you.”
Willow just nodded quietly. Tara came out of the bedroom and went straight over to her mother for a hug.
“Hello, darling,” Kimberly kissed Tara’s forehead, “This all must come as such a shock.”
Tara nodded silently into Kimberly’s neck.
“There’s my girl,” Kimberly replied soothingly and Willow felt almost uncomfortable for a moment because she’d been in much the same position saying much the same words to Tara since they’d gotten that phone call.
Tara pulled back to look at her mother.
“I could have just collected you on the way. There was no need for you to come all the way down.”
“Nonsense,” Kimberly dismissed with a wave of her hand, “Besides, the car Willow so generously traded me is far more comfortable for a four-hour drive for the three of us.”
Tara turned to look at Willow, her eyes downcast.
“Y-You don’t have to come.”
Willow did her best not to look hurt.
“I won’t if you don’t want me to.”
Tara looked up, eyes shining vulnerably.
“I do want you to.”
Willow rushed forward and pulled Tara into a hug.
“Then I’m coming. No question.”
Tara squeezed Willow and inhaled softly from her neck. When they parted, Tara turned back to Kimberly.
“Are you sure you want to…go back there?”
Kimberly nodded without hesitation.
“It’s just a town. It doesn’t have a hold over me. I want to be there for you.”
Tara took a hug from her mother too. There weren’t enough hugs in the world to quash the emotion she held for the situation.
A sister, a little girl, who had grown up under an abuser…it hurt her heart and nauseated her stomach all at once.
Willow glanced at her watch and put a hand on Tara’s back.
“We should go in case there’s traffic.”
The Maclay women parted from the hug and Tara quickly put her arm around Willow’s waist.
“Yes, let’s go. The social worker said she wanted to meet with us first before any, um, introductions I guess.”
Willow opened the door and let Tara and Kimberly walk out first.
“Bye Miss Kitty,” she called to the cat who was still curled up and slumbering, “We’ll be home tonight.”
“Cantaloupe capital of the world.”
Willow's lone voice from the backseat was the first sound in a while as they went past the ‘Welcome to Mendota’ sign.
“Neat.”
The car ride had been eerily silent; Kimberly was driving and pensive and Willow didn’t want to disturb her or Tara. But without even an easy-listening playlist of Tara’s breaking the quiet, it had been hard for Willow to just sit and look out at the California countryside. The sign was a welcome relief.
“Wonder where the honeydew capital is?”
She spent a moment on her phone before continuing in a tiring voice and soft sigh.
“China. It’s China.”
“It’s just up here,” Tara said quietly, glancing at the GPS on her phone sitting in the center console, “She said it’s a satellite office off of Smoot Avenue.”
“Smoot Ave, right there,” Willow pointed, wanting to be helpful.
Kimberley made the turn and found a spot on the street to park.
The silence was even more palpable with the engine off.
Willow silently put a hand on Tara’s shoulder.
Tara reached back and squeezed it. She looked over her shoulder and Willow offered a comforting smile. Tara managed one back and reached for the car door. Together the three of them walked into the office building and were directed to an elevator to the fourth floor.
Tara gave her name to the front desk but as she was doing so was approached by a young, chic-looking woman in her thirties with corkscrew curls that framed a beautiful copper-brown face and russet eyes that seemed to go on forever. Her smile lit up her face with the definition of friendliness and she set all three women at ease without ever saying a word.
“Tara?” she confirmed and extended her hand, “Madeline Hayward, we spook on the phone.”
“Hi Madeline,” Tara shook her hand, “This is my mom, Kimberly, and my partner, Willow.”
She put her hand on Willow’s shoulder.
“Nice to meet you all,” Madeline somehow smiled wider, “Let me bring you to our meeting room so we can run over a few things.”
She brought them through the office to a small room in the back with a round table for eight. A tray with a jug of water and some glasses was in the middle. Willow was quick to pour herself a glass.
“First of all, I’m so glad that I was able to make contact, and thank you for coming all the way up here,” Madeline said, pulling her chair into the table, “Do you all live together?”
“Oh no,” Tara quickly shook her head, “Willow and I live together in L.A. My mom lives in Sunnydale. They’re here for moral support.”
Willow waved an invisible flag with an awkward smile.
Madeline nodded enthusiastically as she threw open a file she had in front of her.
“Well to recap some of what we spoke of on the phone,” she looked up with a sympathetic smile, “On April 7th Mr. Donald Broderick passed away in his home as a result of alcoholic cirrhosis. Sally Broderick was living in the home of Gwyneth Broderick along with her father and cousin, Bethany Broderick, and remained in that home under her aunt’s care following the passing of her father. She was removed from that home one week ago.”
“Can I ask why?” Kimberly asked, remaining composed in calm despite the heaviness of her memories and those words, “She was removed?
“An investigation is ongoing,” Madeline replied evenly, though not unkindly, “But we’re seeking permanent exclusion from that home on the basis of neglect. Reunification is not our ideal outcome here.”
Tara drew an inward breath. Willow put a discreet arm around her and whispered some comforting words in her ear. It was not missed by Madeline.
“I’m very sorry to hear that,” Kimberly replied, retaining her reasoned tone.
Madeline sighed; showing some weariness for the first time.
“Unfortunately, it took Mr. Broderick’s death for us to do anything. Though we had reports from teachers it is extremely difficult to remove a child from their parent. There’s a lesser burden for court-appointed caregivers and so we were able to act.”
Breath flew from Kimberly’s nostrils.
“If I knew that Donald had any other children I would have, at least, notified social services of his history.”
Madeline looked over at Kimberly.
“If you would, I’d love to have that chat again. You might be able to give us some information to help with our report.”
“Of course,” Kimberly nodded seriously, “Anything I can. I’m an RN so I’m a mandated reporter. I’ve been through these kinds of interviews before. I would be…happy isn’t the word, but I want to help.”
“That’s so great, thank you,” Madeline scribbled something into the file, “I’ll make sure to take your details.”
Kimberly nodded once.
“Where’s her mom?” Willow asked, then immediately felt intrusive for doing so but was answered before she could apologize.
“She passed from a drug overdose when Sally was a baby,” Madeline answered with a sigh.
“Oh,” Willow replied quietly.
“Let me tell you about Sally,” Madeline continued, closing her file, “She’s ten years old but thinks she’s eighteen. Struggles in school but tests well so she keeps up. She…takes a while to warm up to people.”
Her mouth thinned but her shoulders stayed tight and professional.
“And she loves music and cartoons.”
“Tara loves those things too!” Willow interjected excitedly, “Well, music. I think she puts up with the cartoons for me. But she’s a DJ!”
“Oh wow,” Madeline smiled, “Oh, Sally will love that.”
She wrote something down and looked back up.
“She has a tough exterior. Doesn’t like too many people needling at her. So we want to take this introduction slowly. She was pretty surprised to hear her sister wanted contact.”
“Me too,” Tara exhaled softly.
“She has a brother too,” Kimberly put in, holding a hand up, “Just putting that out there.”
“Mmhhm,” Madeline nodded slowly and flicked to a page, which she read out of the corner of her eyes, “We did find his records when we found yours, Tara, but well, we noticed a list of priors and that his name is also Donald.”
“Donny,” Kimberly cleared his throat, “He’s known as Donny. And he was never charged with any of those arrests. He’s been sober for over a year.”
Madeline nodded kindly.
“She’s aware she has a half-brother as well but we think we should evaluate this avenue before we push anything else on her.”
Kimberly opened her mouth like she was about to object but ultimately stayed silent.
“Does she want to meet me?” Tara asked, trying to keep her hands still in her lap.
“She’s unsure,” Madeline admitted, “‘Family’ has never meant much for her unfortunately and she’s a tough cookie to crack. But when I told her I saw something there. She needs a lot of love and stability but she’s really just a kid at heart. A kid who’s never been given a family to flourish in.”
Tara hung her head. Kimberly sat back, some kind of guilt etched on her face.
“So what happens now?” Willow interjected when everybody else was silent.
Madeline sat back in her chair.
“Well, we’ve scheduled a meeting for after lunch. Her foster parents are bringing her by and I thought we could go to the park across the street. Somewhere informal but open. I’ll make the introduction and we can go from there. It’s important that we let her lead.”
“Of course,” Tara adopted the kind of Resolve-Face that Willow would be proud of.
Madeline slid her file into her arms.
“In that case, I’d like to meet you outside this building at 2pm. Go and get some lunch with your family and regroup. There’s a great Salvadorian place right around the corner.”
“Thank you, Ms. Hayward, for all of your time and assistance,” Kimberly stood to reach out and shake the social worker’s hand.
“Yes,” Tara stood too, importantly, “Thank you so much for reaching out.”
Madeline stood with them.
“It’s only my regret I never looked sooner.”
She guided them out and reiterated their plan to meet. Willow found the restaurant in question in the elevator while Kimberly reassured Tara about the meeting and Willow silently guided them there. It was a bit of a greasy spoon, but it smelled pretty good and the tables were clean so they sat down.
Willow offered to go place their order but the Maclay women were a bit distracted.
“I’ll just have the vegan salad plate,” Kimberly said, only glancing at the menu.
“Yuka fries,” Tara parroted in a similar tone.
Willow nodded diligently and went up to the counter. A server helped her carry the plates back to the table with a round of Cokes. Willow tipped him and sat in between Kimberly and Tara on the little circular table.
“These pupusas are incredible,” she commented as she hungrily ate, then blushed when she got a common Maclay ‘glance’, “Sorry. Just hungry. Long time since those Fruit Loops.”
Tara reached out and put a hand on the middle of Willow’s back, rubbing gently.
“What do you think about all of this?”
Willow wiped her mouth with a napkin as she continued chewing.
“I think the social worker seems really nice. And Sally sounds cool. Enjoys music, like you…”
She bit the corner of her lip.
“…but…I mean…sounds like she’s had it pretty rough.”
“Yeah,” Tara echoed softly as she absently ate a fry.
Willow felt a bit useless.
They’d gone through a lot together but nothing really prepares you for helping your girlfriend through meeting her secret half-sister from her absent and abusive — and oh yeah, by the way, dead — father.
“That Gwen was always a nasty bitch,” Kimberly said which made Willow and Tara look up because she rarely swore, “I saw her push her own child over with a sweeping brush when she missed a spot. She was two! I never let you go over there, Tara.”
Tara frowned and Willow put her hand over Tara’s. It must be so disconcerting to hear disturbing memories involving you that you don’t even remember yourself.
Tara looked over and smiled gratefully. She linked their fingers tighter.
Willow tore off a piece of her pupusa and offered it to Tara, who ate it quietly. Willow continued to do so when Tara seemed receptive; it was one way to help.
Kimberly seemed to be having old conversations in her head so Willow just acted as a flatbread pusher as they all sorted out their own thoughts.
When it was time, they started to walk back around the corner. Kimberly hung back and took a sidelong hold of Willow to keep her back too.
“We won’t crowd you.”
Willow gave Tara’s fingers one last squeeze before releasing her.
Tara exhaled slowly and began to take a step but a sudden sound made her jump.
“Wait!” Willow said, quickly reaching for her pocket. She took off a Spongebob keychain that Tara had once given to her and pressed it into Tara’s hand, “Give her this.”
Tara looked down in confusion.
“Madeline said she likes cartoons,” Willow explained.
Tara looked up; touched.
“I’ll get you another one.”
Willow pressed a long kiss to Tara’s cheek.
“I love you. Just be you. You’re amazing. No one could ever think otherwise.”
Tara nodded, squeezed Spongebob, and continued toward the front of the building they’d been in earlier.
Kimberly took a sidelong hold of Willow again and kissed the top of her head.
“We’re all very lucky to have you in our lives, Willow Rosenberg.”
Willow blushed lightly.
“I’m the lucky one.”
Tara stood in the doorway of the building and tried not to fidget while she waited.
She spotted Madeline first, in her colorful clothing, and then another woman standing beside her. While they were talking, a young girl walked in front, taking care to kick every stone and bit of dirt in her path. She had a baseball cap on and two pigtails brought forward on either side. She wore a yellow and white baseball shirt with full-length sleeves, despite the summer heat, and shorts that went just past her knees.
Madeline looked up as they turned the corner and lifted her hand in a wave to Tara. Sally’s eyes briefly flitted up but she was quick to avert them again.
“Tara,” Madeline greeted, “Great to see you again. This is Joanne Jeffries, Sally’s foster mother.”
Tara shook Joanne’s hand, though it was shaking with nerves. Joanne politely did not remark.
“And this,” Madeline put her hands square on either of Sally’s shoulders, “Is Sally. Sally, this is Tara. She’s your sister. Technically your half—”
“I know how genetics work,” Sally rolled her eyes.
Madeline and Joanne shared a look. Tara frowned then quickly bent down on one knee to Sally’s level.
“Hi Sally,” she waved, quietly and subconsciously examining the girl's face while wondering if anything mirrored her own, “It’s really nice to meet you.”
Sally kept her eyes averted and scoffed.
“Is it?”
“Yes,” Tara replied, soft but assured.
Sally glanced up.
Tara did see something familiar this time: vulnerability.
Madeline put her hands together, making a clapping sound. She was trying to be helpful but it was more disconcerting than anything and made the two girls jump apart.
“Why don’t we all go sit in the park across the street and get to know each other?”
No one really replied but Madeline led them anyway.
Tara felt palpable awkwardness as they crossed the street and noticed Sally had her arms crossed firmly on her chest. Once they walked through the gates, she stepped to the side of Madeline.
“Can we just take a walk around the park? Sally and me? If she’d like to?”
Sally glanced up and gave a non-committal nod. Madeline looked between them and nodded slowly.
“Sure,” she agreed and sat down on a nearby bench, “Just stay in sight.”
Tara nodded diligently and looked to Sally, who shoved her hands in her pockets and walked forward to kick a stone. Tara fell into a slow step. There was a quiet few moments as she pondered what to say.
“So you like baseball?”
She cringed a little at herself, especially when Sally looked at her like she had three heads before scowling down at her attire.
“No. The dumb Jeffries only had boys’ clothes. They have four of them. It sucks.”
Tara nodded sympathetically.
“I was worried. I wouldn’t have been able to say much apart from ‘Go Dodgers’.”
She rubbed her sweaty hand on her jeans.
“I-’m really sorry about your Dad.”
“I’m not,” Sally rolled her eyes and cast a furrowed-brow glance at Tara, “Wasn’t he…your Dad too? That's what they told me.”
“He was,” Tara nodded slowly, “But I hadn’t seen him in a long, long time. So long I don’t even remember. I was just little.”
Sally kicked a stone particularly hard.
“He talked about you.”
Tara suddenly felt uncomfortably tingly on her skin. She didn’t know this man but she knew he had had a profound effect on all of her family’s lives. And not in a positive way.
“He did?”
Sally shrugged one shoulder.
“Said I was his favorite. Didn’t cry like ‘the other one’.”
Tara swallowed audibly. There was so much to that statement that she couldn’t even begin to break down at this moment.
“I see.”
“Thought you were dead though,” Sally said with an air of forced nonchalance, “Or made up in his head or something. That happened a lot. Saw things. Said things. Punched things.”
Tara shook her head and found herself also kicking a stone.
“I never knew about you at all,” she said and looked over to Sally, “I wish I did.”
Sally kept her gaze for a moment before looking away uncomfortably.
“Why?”
“Because you seem like a cool kid to know,” Tara replied sincerely, “And I’d like to get to know you more. If it’s okay with you.”
Sally scowled.
“What are you, like a wannabe therapist or something? I don’t need that crap.”
Tara shook her head.
“No. Not at all. I don’t want to be a therapist. Maybe just a…big sister. Whatever that means. I’ve never been one before. I don’t really know what I’m doing.”
Sally seemed to appreciate the honesty and took pity.
“You’re doing okay,” she shrugged again.
Tara smiled softly and realized she was squeezing the little Spongebob keychain in her pocket. She went to the nearest bench and sat down. When Sally sat down beside her, she offered the little toy.
“Do you like Spongebob? Me and—” she paused suddenly, unsure how to describe Willow, but she wasn’t about to deny her, “My girlfriend and I watch episodes sometimes on Sunday mornings.”
Sally turned the toy over in her palm.
“I watch it too,” she admitted, “But I prefer Sandy.”
She suddenly jumped up and started kicking her legs and flinging her hands.
“She’s Bikini Bottom's leading expert on Texas, science, and karate!”
Tara laughed and leaned forward.
“Do you know karate?”
“Unofficially,” Sally grinned and spun around while doing some mock moves that probably wouldn’t hold up in a dojo but looked very cool.
“I did karate at summer camp once,” Tara replied and scrunched up her nose, “They told me I looked like I was swimming in the air.”
Sally giggled and Tara clasped her hands between her knees.
“I stuck to music after that.”
Sally tried to appear aloof as she sat back down on the bench.
“You like music?”
Tara nodded keenly.
“Uh-huh. I was in a band and now I’m a DJ.”
Sally’s eyes brightened in a way Tara hadn’t seen before now.
“You are? You’re a DJ in L.A.? They told me you live in L.A.”
Tara nodded and Sally’s eyebrows shot up on her head.
“Do you know lots of celebrities?”
“No, unfortunately,” Tara frowned, hating to disappoint, “Unless you know Nate Williamson?”
Sally jumped up and grabbed her head, jumping up and down.
“YOU KNOW NATE WILLIAMSON?!”
Tara grinned; this kind of reaction she could work with.
“He was the guy I was in a band with.”
Sally faux-fainted and looked up at Tara with all the adoration a little sister should.
“You are the coolest person I’ve ever met.”
Tara joined Sally on the ground, despite it not being the grassiest area for them to recline.
“I think you’re the coolest person I’ve ever met,” she returned.
“Me?” Sally asked with an uncertain flick of her lips.
“Yeah,” Tara nodded seriously, “Those karate moves were um…fire.”
She blushed and turned her head to Sally.
“I see that said on Twitter a lot.”
Sally chuckled and reached up to pull her cap down a bit.
“So will you come to visit me again?”
“You bet I will. If you want me to,” Tara answered with a soft smile.
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Sally shrugged but was smiling.
Tara smiled for a moment, then pointed up at the sky.
“Look, a unicorn cloud.”
Sally cocked her head.
“I see a horse with a spike tied around its head going into battle.”
“Maybe he’ll meet the unicorn and they’ll fall in love,” Tara suggested with a crooked smile.
Sally shook her head with a heavy sigh.
“There’s no love in war.”
“Usually it’s the only thing that survives,” Tara mused and lifted her arm again, “But that one is definitely a hippo.”
Sally laughed through her teeth.
“And it’s pooping tiny cars!”
Tara laughed and was able to catch Sally’s gaze again. She held it a whole extra second this time.
After a while, Madeline had to physically come and get them while Joanne looked on impatiently. As they walked back to the entrance of the park, Sally pulled Tara behind a tree.
“Wait,” she said, looking all around before closing her arms around Tara in a split-second hug, “And you’re definitely gonna come see me again?”
Tara nodded quickly.
“I promise. Really soon.”
Sally smiled and offered the Spongebob toy back. Tara shook her head.
“No, you should keep that. Even if he’s only your second favorite.”
Sally looped the keyring on her finger so it stayed in her palm.
“Okay. Thanks,” she agreed before looking up wryly, “But Squidward is my second favorite.”
Tara just laughed.
Joanne was quick to usher Sally away and Tara noticed immediately how her newly-introduced little sister's shoulders slumped and her feet dragged with every step.
Madeline brought Tara back to the meeting room they’d been in earlier and patted the desk with a smile.
“Well, that seemed to go well. I know she can be a,” she paused and raised her eyebrows briefly, “Little bit of a handful.”
Tara started to shake her head.
“Actually—”
“But like a flower, she’ll open in time,” Madeline continued, flicking open her file with a sigh, “Hopefully.”
Tara placed her palms flat on the desk.
“I think she just wants someone to speak to her on her level. She really responded—”
“We all do our best,” Madeline cut in with a slightly forced smile.
Tara cleared her throat.
“Of course,” she replied, her hands falling from the table, “I was wondering if I could come up again next weekend and maybe take her to Fresno to do some shopping? She doesn’t seem to have much of her own.”
Madeline reached across herself to rub her opposite shoulder.
“Getting access to the house to get her own clothes or anything else has been a nightmare.”
“I’m sure,” Tara replied, trying not to grit her teeth, “But maybe she could use some new stuff anyway.”
Madeline’s arm dropped beside her.
“Department can’t provide a budget for that.”
“I will ‘provide the budget’,” Tara replied, giving Madeline an imploring look, “If I’m allowed to take her out of town?”
Madeline brought her chair closer to Tara.
“You can. As a blood relative, you have rights. And honestly, I’m hoping for more than a trip to the city.”
Tara frowned slightly.
“What do you mean?”
Madeline set down the pen in her hand.
“Sally is in an emergency foster placement right now. We need to find a long-term solution to that and it’s our policy to try and keep children within the family.”
Tara’s eyes bugged.
“You can’t put her back with those people.”
“We won’t be,” Madeline reassured, “Obviously, the only other family she has is not an option.”
When nothing else was forthcoming, it took a moment for it to click in Tara’s head.
“Do you mean me?” she asked, mouth dropping slightly, “You think she should live with me? I’m in college, I…”
Madeline nodded quickly.
“I think it’s unconventional given your age, but I’ve seen younger siblings take custody. There’s usually an established relationship but you do seem to have bonded already,” she said encouragingly, “It’s just something I want you to consider. And if you’d allow, let me do the appropriate background checks and box ticking so if it’s something you choose to pursue, we’ll be able to move forward. There are a lot of conditions to meet in terms of financial readiness and accommodation availability and such. I’d like to evaluate you, at least, so it can be one consideration.”
Tara slumped in the chair.
“I-I guess,” she said, blinking rapidly, “I mean, of course, I…I know she’s…and she’s my…and I…”
She trailed off and Madeline lifted her pen again.
“You live with your partner, correct?”
“Yes,” Tara replied on auto-pilot.
“Alone?” Madeline’s ear perked up.
“Yes,” Tara answered again.
“I’ll need her information too,” Madeline replied as her eyes widened with hope, “How many bedrooms?”
Tara brought a hand to her head.
“We have two right now.”
When Tara had answered all she could answer, she found herself outside with a handshake and a promise for a follow-up call later that week.
Her head was reeling and it took someone bumping into her for her to realize she was just loitering outside the building. She checked her phone and saw a message from Willow saying she and her mother were hanging out at a donut place nearby. She dropped a pin and Tara followed it, keeping her eyes on the phone.
Willow stood up immediately when Tara came in the doors and hurried over.
“Baby,” she greeted with a hug and Tara relaxed for the first time in a while, “All okay?”
Tara just nodded so Willow brought her to the table where Kimberly took both Tara’s hands across the table.
“Darling. How did it go?”
While Willow went up to the counter, Kimberly rubbed Tara’s lower arms.
“What’s she like?”
Tara put everything with Madeline to the side for a moment.
“She’s really funny, actually. I think…I think she felt safe with me? Which I know is a lot to ask of a first meeting but they told me she was like this big, dark cloud but she wasn’t like that once we broke off on our own.”
“Sounds like you tapped into something in her,” Kimberly smiled, “I’m not surprised. You’re sisters.”
“We are,” Tara said in an echoing voice.
Willow returned with a cup and a paper plate with a ring donut.
“Sorry for the shitty coffee. This town is kinda…bleak. This was the best place we could find.”
Tara rubbed the side of Willow’s back.
“Thank you. I could use a reboot.”
She took a sip of the coffee, displaying no outward display of how nasty it was.
“I was just telling my Mom that she’s a really cool kid,” she paused to smile at Willow, “She really liked the Spongebob toy, thank you so much. Though she says she prefers Sandy.”
“Smart kid,” Willow smiled, relief in her eyes, “And she wasn’t…”
“She just wanted to chat like a kid,” Tara replied, eyes sad, “I don’t know, she just seemed like a normal kid. Maybe for a few minutes, she let herself be like that with me? It’s hard to explain but I saw something shift…and then shift back when she had to go home.”
“Well I guess it’s not really ‘home’,” Willow posited, then frowned when Tara looked at her confused, “It’s a foster placement, right? A recent one? So it might not…feel like…home?”
Tara sighed.
“Right.”
Willow looked down.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“No,” Tara quickly took Willow’s hand, “It’s just been a…day. It’s been a day.”
She brought Willow’s hand up and kissed her knuckles.
“I’m so happy you’re here.”
Willow scooted her chair around and leaned into Tara.
“Always.”
Tara nuzzled into Willow and kissed the top of her head.
Kimberly cleared her throat.
“Girls.”
Tara looked over with a frown; it wasn’t like her mother to sound so disapproving of their affection. But once she caught Kimberly’s eye, she saw it wasn’t her mother who disapproved but the rest of the people in the café, at least by their uncomfortable staring.
Tara shuddered at the feeling and desperately wanted to shield Willow from it. She downed her coffee and grabbed her donut.
“Let’s get out of here. I’m exhausted and it’s a long drive home.”
Tara pushed back her seat and gently pushed Willow out with a hand on her back. She busied her hands with eating her donut to avoid Willow taking her hand while they walked to the car without hurting her feelings. As they made their way the few blocks to where they were parked, Tara could only agree: this place was bleak.
Just run down and dour. The grass was scorched and the buildings were old and there was dust everywhere.
She was happy to get to the car.
“Mom, I’m going to sit in the back with Willow, okay?”
Kimberly just nodded and got in on the driver’s side.
Willow smiled as Tara belted in next to her.
“Backseat buddies?”
Tara pulled one side of the seatbelt behind her and laid her head in Willow’s lap. Willow looked down and placed one hand on Tara’s hair while the other rubbed her arm.
Kimberly glanced at them in the rearview mirror as they drove onto the freeway.
“Is she asleep?” she whispered.
Willow nodded.
“It’s been a lot.”
Kimberly just offered a small smile.
“Do you want me to stop somewhere to get something to eat or just grab something when you get back?”
“I think when we get back,” Willow replied quietly, “We should just miss rush hour traffic if we don’t get held up on the way.”
Kimberly nodded and went back to driving.
Willow’s thumb continued to caress Tara’s arm and kept her lulled in a, she hoped, peaceful sleep.
Tara woke up to the sounds of horns honking and muffled yelling.
Her back hurt and she felt bent at the most unnatural angle.
Going over a little speed bump reminded her she was in the car and she started to straighten up, to protest from her body.
“Hey baby,” Willow greeted and rubbed Tara’s thigh, “We’re almost home.”
Tara glanced out the window and recognized the thick Los Angeles traffic. She remembered all at once where they were coming home from.
“Oh. Yes.”
“I don’t know how you girls do this,” Kimberly tutted from the back, “This traffic is just crazy. And it’s not even rush hour yet! Yes middle-aged man in your penismobile, I do see you trying to cut in!”
“I-Is that Mr. Giles?” Tara frowned.
Everyone looked out the window.
“I think it is,” Willow commented.
“Oh. My. God,” Kimberly replied, sinking down in the seat, “We never saw him, he never saw us, understand?”
Willow turned her attention back to Tara, who was rolling her neck.
“Oh baby, do you have a neck cramp?”
Before she could reach out, Kimberly made a sharp turn and they were on their street. Kimberly parked in front of the building and got out to hug Tara.
“You were very brave today.”
Tara cuddled into her mother.
“I’m sorry you have to drive all the way back to Sunnydale,” she said apologetically, “I could make up the guest room for you if you want.”
Kimberly just shook her head softly.
“I have work early. I’m going to skedaddle before the traffic really sets in,” she smiled, then cringed, “Let’s hope I don’t spot Rupert again. Oh my, what was he thinking? Men! You girls are lucky you don’t have to deal with them.”
Tara just stood back and felt Willow come up behind her, holding her gently at the waist.
“It was nice to see you again, Ms. M. Maybe we’ll take a trip back home soon if Tara’s schedule allows.”
Kimberly reached out and rubbed each of their arms.
“I’m very proud of both of you and how hard you’re working. I’d go on the internet more to watch your videos but—”
“Everyone’s spelling is really bad,” she and Tara finished together.
Willow smiled and leaned her chin on Tara’s shoulders.
“This is why I’m Team Maclay.”
Kimberly looked slightly confused but a beep from the street quickly caught her attention.
“And that is my cue,” she rolled her eyes but they softened as they settled back on Tara, “Keep in touch with me, my sweet girl. Please. Anything you need to talk about or questions you have? Memories or…”
“I will,” Tara cleared her throat slightly, “There’s a lot to process.”
“Yes,” Kimberly answered simply, with a sad little nod.
She leaned in and kissed Tara’s forehead.
“Take care of my girl,” she said to Willow with a smile.
“I will,” Willow promised, giving Tara a squeeze, who started to pale.
There was another loud beep that made Kimberly shudder and quickly get back to her car. Willow waved her off and closed the door.
She noticed Tara hunching over a chair with a white face. Willow gently guided her over to the couch.
“Sit here, baby.”
Tara sat and Willow sat behind her, taking up the neck rub again.
“I know today was so much. But just try and relax. I’ll get us some dinner and we can talk, or not. Just chill and watch a movie or listen to music. Whatever you need. I’ll be here as a warm body or a mouth and this is coming out unintentionally sexual but I just mean I’m not going anywhe—”
Tara suddenly burst into tears. Before Willow could react, Tara jumped up and moved over to lean on the kitchen counter but almost immediately pushed back and started pacing.
“I can’t lose you, Willow. I can’t, I can’t, everything just got so good and I love you so much and—”
“Tara,” Willow interrupted softly, standing and holding her hands in a calming motion, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. I said I’m
not going anywhe—”
Tara turned and Willow felt her stomach drop at the look on Tara’s face, despite not knowing why. Tara sunk back down onto the couch, holding her face in her hands.
“Thwahmeetaker.”
Willow perched next to Tara having turned pale herself.
“I’m sorry, baby, what?”
Tara rubbed her face and lifted it from her hands. She looked over at Willow with sunken eyes.
“They want me to take her.”
“Sally?” Willow put together, her brow creasing slightly, “Take her where?”
Tara swallowed deeply.
“Here.”
Willow brightened.
“That’s a great idea!” she said with relief flooding her face, “She can come for a visit and we can take her to a bunch of fun places like Universal Studios and—”
“Not for a visit,” Tara interjected quietly but audibly.
She couldn’t meet Willow’s eye this time.
Willow frowned more deeply.
“Not for a visit? So like for…” slowly her face flattened in realization, “Oh. Oh, you mean…”
There was a silence that lasted about a minute, though it felt longer.
“Can, can, can you even, I mean, not, I mean, college and, and…”
“I-I don’t know how it would all work,” Tara replied with a sobbing resignation in her voice, “But…”
“She’s your sister,” Willow finished softly.
She blinked heavily and stood.
“I need to…go out.”
She stood up and wandered out with the sound of Tara’s sob muffled by the slamming door.
It was fifty-five minutes later that the door opened again.
Tara was curled up on the couch holding a cushion with dried tears on her cheeks. She quickly sat up at stared at the doorway.
Willow closed it softly behind her.
“I got us Indian food.”
She set some paper bags down on the table.
“Paneer coconut curry and saag aloo.”
Tara continued to stare silently. Willow picked up something on top of one of the bags; a smaller paper baggie folded in a rectangle. She came and sat by Tara again, leaving the paper bag in her lap.
Tara looked down at it and up at Willow, who was just looking back earnestly. Tara swiped at her eyes to make sure nothing was coming out of there and unfolded the paper bag. She reached inside and pulled out a diamond-shaped yellow door sign.
It said ‘Sally’s Room’ with various phrases to keep out and a sticker of Sandy the squirrel from Spongebob had been tacked on.
Tara inhaled a sharp, shaken breath. She looked at Willow.
“I don’t know how it’s going to work either,” Willow admitted, putting her hand over Tara’s arm, “I don’t even know what exactly is going to happen. But I know you won’t be doing it alone. Because you won’t ever have to do anything alone. I am team Maclay now and forever. Whatever that brings.”
Tara, yet again, could only stare. Willow shifted uncomfortably.
“I’m sorry I just walked out. This is all so…” she stopped as she thought of the right word, “Unexpected.”
Tara swallowed several times to be able to speak.
“Yeah,” she said finally, frowning and sniffling, “The social worker just landed it on me as I was leaving. She wants to asses me…us…Willow, I-I don’t know if I’m equipped to be the, the… guardian of a child.”
Willow looked down sadly.
“What’s the alternative?”
Tara sighed deeply.
“She grows up in the system. Which is maybe marginally better than how she’s grown up so far but still not great.”
Willow nodded seriously.
“Right. She’s had…a tough past. A-Abuse and neglect,” she leaned over as her stomach began to hurt at the thought, “She’ll need supports. Psychological and maybe academic? And she’d have to come here, so she’d start a whole new school.”
Tara reached up to rub her temple.
“I haven’t even had time to think about anything like that. I just know that…”
She thrust her hands out demonstrably. Willow just nodded.
“She’s your sister.”
Tara looked at Willow and her eyes filled with tears at the relief of just feeling understood.
“I can’t describe it. It’s like her walls just dropped when it was the two of us. We felt in sync. Like a little piece of me, I never knew was missing. We just clicked. We need to get to know each other better but there’s something there. A recognition. I-I can’t…”
Willow squeezed Tara’s thigh.
“You don’t have to explain. I know exactly. You’re a catalyst for people to be their best, truest selves. In a world full of wrong — you're the thing that's right. I can hardly deny that to her when I’ve been given so much of it. She’s your blood, which doesn’t always mean much. But it does when that blood is what’s running through your heart.”
Tara’s facial muscles tensed to stop the tears.
“Our lives would completely change.”
“Yep,” Willow nodded evenly.
“I don’t know what issues we would run into,” Tara continued, swallowing deeply.
Willow shrugged one shoulder.
“Whoever does?”
Tara locked eyes with Willow.
“And I don’t know if I can do it.”
Willow took Tara’s head in her hands and put their foreheads together.
“We can do this,” she promised, though she was admittedly bluffing, “Strong like an Amazon, right?”
Tara let out a watery smile.
“Right.”
“Besides, we survived the pistachio assassin and a goddamn earthquake. What’s a pre-teen girl?” Willow retorted with a grin, but then they grimaced at each other, “You’re right. Infinitely more terrifying.”
They laughed and Willow kissed Tara softly until she felt her muscles start to relax. Tara released a slow exhale.
“Madeline might say we’re completely unsuitable. I mean, I work nights and we’re both going to be starting classes again soon and we’re still so young.”
“No matter what, we’ll be there for that little girl,” Willow promised and this time there was no bluff, “I promise, okay?”
Tara nodded softly and pressed her lips to Willow’s cheek.
“Willow,” she breathed, looking up with weary eyes, “Can we just have the night, the two of us?”
Willow smiled and pushed her hands down Tara’s arms and took her hands. She squeezed them.
“I’ll get us plates,” she said as she stood and kissed the top of Tara’s head, “
You pick a movie for us to watch in bed.”
She started to walk toward the kitchen, looking over her shoulder as she did so.
“You watchin’ my butt? I’m giving you my best waggle.”
Tara laughed and covered her mouth.
“Throw in a little spin for Mama.”
Willow pushed her thumbs through her belt loop on either side and did a slow, wiggling turn; ending with grabbing both of her butt cheeks.
“How do you ever resist me?” she asked in a dramatic voice but it was stymied by a giggle from her own mouth.
“I don’t,” Tara replied and Willow sighed happily seeing her girlfriend’s crooked smile make an appearance, “Does the food need to be reheated?”
Willow felt the containers and grinned.
“I think it’s a
naan-issue.”
Tara grinned back and stood.
“Just for that, I’m lining up Mama Mia.”
“Jokes on you!” Willow called to Tara as she made her way to the bedroom, “Because I love that movie just as much as you! Gimme Gimme Gimme!”
She heard a giggle and smiled to herself. As she got some silverware she let out a low breath and glanced at the little door sign sitting on the arm of the chair.
Things were about to blow up.
She brought some food to Tara, who had already changed into shorts and a tank. Willow couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her girlfriend.
Some things would never change.
Even though everything else was right about to.