The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: New Completed Fic - 2018 :: Breaking Chains (NC-17)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 12:39 am 
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Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 6:07 pm
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Location: Canada
Breaking Chains


Author name – CopperAndGold
Rating – NC-17 For language and sexual content.
Disclaimer – This fic, mainly the relationship and individual personalities/backgrounds of the witches we love, is a precursor to my main, active fic ‘When Erynn Found Herself’. It takes place during the summer between season 4 and 5. Nothing more than a short fic, chock full of Willow and Tara goodness.

Feedback – All the feedback! Please!
Summary – Willow and Tara strengthen their bond just by loving each other.

Notes – I needed a serious break from the heavy and dark of my main fic. I started thinking about how I wrote Willow and Tara, and what life would have been like before the beginning of ‘When Erynn Found Herself’.

This is the result. I hope you enjoy!




Things had worked out in the end. All the anxiety, trying to figure out how to pay for… well, everything – it all felt so useless now. It was summer, so most people left the dorms to go home and spend time with their families. That wasn’t something Tara was interested in doing, at all.

So, she’d found a summer job. Willow had been surprised at first; that her girlfriend wouldn’t be going home. Evasiveness being one of Tara’s well-honed skills, she’d easily explained that she would much rather stay in Sunnydale. Alluding to the fact they would have much more time together and, to the things that simple fact implied. “I wouldn’t want to miss out, would I?” Tara’d asked cheekily, and the matter had been put to rest with a kiss that then led to so much more.

Everything is still so… new. The sigh was passed her lips a fraction of a second before the synthesized musak crackled and looped over, yet again. “Please remain on the line,” The pleasant female voice cut through the background tune, “Your call is important to us.” The effect was not unlike a splash of cold water on her reddening cheeks.

Being on hold just meant Tara could let her thoughts wander, the pencil between her fingers jumping along with her twitching. As she absentmindedly watched the lead hit her notepad, leaving behind short scuffs of grey sketching the rhythm being drummed out, her girlfriend soon enough recaptured center stage in her mind.

The newness, she was getting used to. There had been so many new experiences since she’d moved to Sunnydale. Since meeting Willow. It had been easier and easier to leave her past behind, let herself embrace the novelty of it all and take all the pleasure she could get from it. It had been easy to put aside her doubts and fears, to let herself fall before double-checking the chute. She had jumped, head-over-heels; she’d fallen in love.

Tara had given her heart, body and soul. Not because of the knowledge they would be well cared for, but with abandon. Loving Willow had been easy, so easy. Natural.

Then there had been Oz. Fear, doubts and a defective cord. For agonizing moments there had been the plummeting. But, Tara had long learned resignation by then. Acceptance at a level where the words ‘Things happen for a reason’ were no longer cliché but, meaningful and calming. Others might call it desperation… She called it sanity.

“-is Lance speaking, how can I help you?” The pencil rolled out of her fingers when she flinched, startled by the male voice interrupting her train of thought. The runaway clattered onto the desk, continuing its quick and elusive path as Tara flailed to catch it before it inevitably would end up on the floor, “Hello?” Lance repeated tentatively, no doubt having heard her gasp.

“Hi, um… s-sorry.” The pencil was placed attentively onto the desk, Tara’s hand slowly pulling back from it making sure it wouldn’t start rolling again, “This is Tara Maclay. Mrs. Holly Waltz’ assistant, Sunnydale’s m-mayor?” Her eyes darted to the ceiling, holding back the groan at the blatant name-drop she’d been instructed to make.

“Of course, Miss Maclay,” Lance replied charmingly, “I hope we can still expect Mrs. Waltz next month for the fundraising gala?” He finished in a hopeful tone.

This is ridiculous… “Yes, she’s still looking forward to it. Um, very much.” Tara cleared her throat, embarrassment tinting her words, “Ab-about that, actually. Well, it’s m-more about seating arrangements.” She closed her eyes, her head shaking side to side. Incredulous once more at the amount of time she had to dedicate to trivial socialite concerns. But, the pay was really good and she didn’t have to wait tables.

“Oh,” He sounded disappointed and somewhat anxious, “They’re painstaking to organize. We agonized over them for months.” Lance’s voice wavered, losing some of its professional overtones.

Tara frowned, she felt so guilty - hated that she had to cause him stress, “I understand, it can be d-daunting, I’m sure.” Looking at the clock dejectedly she noticed her lunch break had begun ten minutes ago, “That’s why I’d like to help.” There goes lunch… Tara pouted. I was looking forward to those left-over pakoras. I don’t care if they get mushy in the microwave. Aww and the butter chicken! Her thoughts whined morosely.

“Help?” Lance asked, confused, “I don’t understand. The seating arrangements have been made a long time ago.”

Tara pressed her lips together, sighing deeply. Resigning herself to the truth under it all, commiserating with Lance, “Lance… if we work together, I’m s-sure we can pull this off within the hour.” She rolled her eyes, frustrated, “Mrs. Waltz would like to make sure she’s seated at the same table as the Hackets.” She all but mumbled grudgingly.

The short, incredulous chuckle wasn’t lost on Tara, “This is the third time she changes something!”

“I know,” The blonde quickly placated, “I know… she won’t budge, though.” She sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time, “We might as well just f-fix it now.” Tara didn’t want to use the threat she’d been suggested by her boss in order to get what she wanted. It just all felt so dirty-handed.

“Let me guess,” Lance grunted, “She’ll pull her donation. I’m starting to think it might be worth it.”

Of course she sympathized, this was all so ridiculous and petty. Tara frowned deeply, the fund raiser was for a great cause, though. She’d hate for the Mayor’s sizable contribution to end up financing her next cruise, “Look, this is s-stupid… I know. That’s why you’re understandably frustrated right now.” She dropped her head onto her open palm, elbow resting on the desk. She felt worn-out, “And why I feel so guilty, I’m so sorry. But, the culprit? The actual p-person to blame is tanning herself right now, at a salon… in one of those awful booths.” Her tone made clear her disgust, “In California… In summer.”

“Tara,” He said softly after a short, knowing giggle, “I have other events to consider.”

She nodded, and pressed on, “Just an hour, give me one hour of your time and we’ll fix this together.” Tara waved at her computer screen, “Send me the ch-chart and in one hour this will be resolved. Then, the Children’s foundation won’t miss out on ten thousand bucks, and she’ll be happy for a while.”

There was a pause before Lance answered with a resigned sigh, “If I ever do meet you in person, you owe me dinner.” He grumbled good-naturedly.

Tara smiled, although she still had to figure out how to make this all work, she felt somewhat relieved at the outcome, “You’ve got a deal.”

***

Discretely, she pulled another pakora from the plastic container inside her bag. Tara darted her eyes left and right, making sure none of the other passengers were looking at her funny before popping the tasty bite into her mouth.

She had to hold back a pleasured groan. Having skipped lunch to rearrange seating plans for an event with almost two thousand attendees, all for one woman’s seemingly selfish wishes… well, it had made Tara grumpy. Her hunger had only fueled the grumpiness and, by the end of her collaborated effort with Lance all she’d wanted to do was eat and see Willow.

In a strange twist of luck, Mrs. Mayor came back from her ‘Lunch meeting’ radiant and bubbly. So pleased that Tara had been able to make sure the Hackets would be within earshot at the gala, that she sent her temp-assistant home three hours early with pay. “I do hope you decide to come back next summer, honey.” Mrs. Waltz had said in her cloying voice, “I might be able to offer you a full time position, you’d fit right in.”

Of course, Tara had been polite. Smiled and said thank you but, she was out of there within seconds. Like hell I’ll willingly put myself through that full-time. Fighting off a shiver, she couldn’t help but notice how oily she felt after working a summer at the Mayor’s office. My spirit might as well be flipping burgers for the rest of my life.

It was her last day, though. And, she’d been sent home early. So, she’d decided to eat on the bus and see her girlfriend as soon as possible. Cold pakoras be damned! A giggle formed in Tara’s throat, having heard her last thought in Willow’s determined yet adorable voice.

My girlfriend, Willow. Willow is my girlfriend! With her eyes firmly trained on her lap, her lips quirked into a disbelieving but radiant smile.

Just when she’d thought it had finally sunk in, the realization would strike again at the oddest of times. It had been a couple of months now, months since Murphy’s law had put things in motion. Made it glaringly obvious that, up until then, they’d been together as if their individual pasts hadn’t had an impact. They’d cocooned themselves in a wonderful secret place made for only them. A place of discovery, tenderness and excitement. But, a place aside.

It had been only short months since the flaming-haired manifestation of her life-long dream had shown up at her door, with a candle and loving words to light the darkness of her doubts. They weren’t apart from real life anymore. This was her life.

Tara frowned suddenly, her hand darting from one corner of the square container to another. Coming up empty-handed, she dejectedly put the lid back on and sighed. They’d been tasty and, her stomach wasn’t growling anymore at least. Glancing out the window confirmed the next stop was hers, anyway.

It was moving weekend at the dorms. Whereas, Willow had simply packed and stored her belongings at her parents’ house, Tara’d had to move to a different summer housing dorm. She’d packed, and unpacked. All, to have to do it again this weekend. At least she’d be doing it with Willow.

As she approached the entrance to her temporary dorm building, Tara debated whether to change from her uncomfortable work attire first, or call her girlfriend. Either would bring a smile to her face… she might just do both at once.

***

In all honesty, she couldn’t make out what it was supposed to be. The shape seemed kind of familiar but, distorted and misshapen. All Tara knew was that it hadn’t been there a fraction of a second ago, and there it was now somehow stuck to her leg. She felt a yank against her pants when the horrified student tried to pull his metal sculpture towards himself. “I’m so sorry!!” He hastily exclaimed, “I didn’t see you… I was just on my way to throw this thing out.” Another agitated yank caused a loud ripping sound to reverberate in the empty hall, “Oh shit! Your pants… I’m sorry, I’ll-I’ll get you new ones!”

Tara blinked, the initial shock wearing off slightly, “I-it’s ok, really.” She bent at the waist, grasped part of what she thought might be… she hoped it was a tail, and pulled. The rip in her pants tore wider but, the awful looking thing was free. “I was looking forward to never we-wearing these again, anyway.” Looking into his apologetic almond-shaped eyes and smiling, she hoped he could see it was really ok. He was obviously upset and his spaz-like quality reminded her of someone so dear to her, she could’ve forgiven him almost anything. “Um, do you need any help?”

Hauling the contraption higher into his arms, he huffed but kept a resigned expression, “No thanks, I’ll be fine…” He juggled it to the left side of his body, straining under the weight, “I made this… thing. It’s my responsibility to make sure it disappears.” He gave her a somewhat shameful glance, “I’ve had a weird summer break.”

She cast a dubious gaze over his slight frame holding onto what must be fifty pounds of gnarly and unruly metal. The width of the thing alone was obviously making it difficult for him to manage, “At least let me get the door.” Tara quickly walked back the short distance to the building entrance and swung the door open.

Watching him shamble along for a minute, she hoped he had it in him to make it to wherever he was going. A soft wind swirled around her in the opened doorway and, even warmed by the summer sun, Tara felt it caress her skin through the rip in her pants. Looking down at the tattered material covering her thigh brought her thoughts back on track. Change and call Willow.

Keys were in her hand before she even made it to her floor. Tara paused with the key in the lock, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. You did it… it’s over. Your first job, it sucked, but… you did it. Pride wasn’t a feeling she was used to, especially when it didn’t come with a hefty dose of recrimination and guilt. Her father’s voice boomed from inside his box, in the dark recesses of Tara’s mind. Don’t be so prideful, Tara. The demon is trying to come out… we’re not there to discipline you; to keep it in. You should come home soon, before...

But, she’d worked hard and hadn’t lost control or anything. And, didn’t she deserve it? Is that really her demon’s pride? For anyone else, wouldn’t this feeling be normal? Forget it. It’s over, I did it. Yay me. Open the damn door. Tara mentally groused.

The first thing she noticed was the fact the lights were on. The very next was Willow’s profile sitting at the desk, surrounded by open boxes and staring intently at her laptop screen.

Tara was elated, her heart skipped a beat at the most pleasant surprise. She closed the door, “Willow!” The blonde softly called out, a radiant smile lighting up her face.

The redhead twisted in her chair and yanked her headphones out. “Tara! Baby,” She stood quickly, lowering her laptop screen, “You’re really early. I wanted to surprise you so I came and let myself in but, hey! Now, I’m the one who’s surprised you sneaky vixen! Why are you early? Oh!” Willow excitedly flapped her hands, smiling widely, “How was your last day!? Was there cake?” Her green, appraising eyes roamed her girlfriend’s body in her alluring work attire and landed on Tara’s pant leg. She frowned, “What happened to your pants?”

So many things… But the first thing Tara felt herself react to was the name ‘Baby’. She lowered her head, a flush spread over her cheeks. She was still somewhat unaccustomed to the pet name…

The first time Willow had called her baby had been during a passion-filled moment when Tara had kept her lover precariously balanced on a tightrope for as long as she could stand it. Sweaty and shaking, her body had tensed and relaxed so often, Willow had become warm putty in the blonde’s hands. And, when a tentative damp-skinned hand had brought their eyes together, she’d felt Willow’s womanhood caress her fingers, a series of hugs and begging kisses that made her clench in sympathy. With one word, a name – a plea and a praise, wrapped in a command - Willow had her undone and relenting. She’d been overcome with an ardor that had frightened her until it had eclipsed all thought. She’d given into it, given and given… crashing her lover over the precipice and somehow… in her blinding climax, Willow had rebranded Tara, Baby.

The corner of Tara’s mouth quirked in a private, cheeky grin before she looked up again and took a few steps forward. She lifted her open arms, silently asking for them to be filled, “I am surprised. It’s a very good surprise.” Willow quickly molded herself against the blonde’s body, a pleased hum sighed against her ear. “Does my surprise come with a kiss?” Tara asked, running fingers through fiery silk.

The collar of her blouse was pushed aside, “Here?” She felt Willow murmur against her neck before pressing her lips down in a short kiss. Tara could feel the smug smirk on her girlfriend’s lips against her skin.

She wasn’t really in the mood for games, though. Even if her work day had been cut short, the stress of it alone had worn down her patience. Tara wanted a damn kiss. “No,” She admonished softly before tilting her head and guiding their lips together, she breathed Willow in deeply. “Mmm,” Small hands tightened around her waist, the kiss deepened and then calm again in a sensual cycle until the day’s stress all but melted away.

“I’m early,” Tara said softly before pressing another short kiss against Willow’s lips, “Because I w-was a good little toady for the schoolyard bully. She let me leave early.” Another kiss, this time on the tip of a cute freckled nose, “There was no cake. Just cold pakoras on the way home.” The resulting pout on the redhead’s lips made another short kiss irresistible.

Willow pulled back slightly, resting her hands on the blonde’s hips, “I hate that that job made you feel bad about yourself,” Her eyes were pained as she looked down at her lover’s pants. “I’m so glad it’s over. I’m getting you cake; you deserve cake. With sprinkles.” She nodded decidedly and frowned, reaching down to finger the rip in Tara’s pants. “How’d this happen?”

Tara smiled, her girlfriend’s concern and care warming her through, “I ran into a guy with a weird metal s-sculpture, in the hall.” A sudden burning, stinging pain shot through her leg.

Willow’s fingers stilled instantly when she heard her girlfriend’s shaky and sharp intake of breath. Concerned eyes darted to Tara’s face, registering the look of discomfort, then back down. “You’re hurt!” She bent her knees to be at eye-level with the rip and gingerly pulled aside the small flap of ruined material. The back of it was stained dark red. Her heart thudded, images of knife-wielding metallic demons clawing at her baby’s soft skin flashed in her mind as panic-induced hysteria clouded her rationality.

Tara stood still, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment at all the fretting, “I didn’t even f-feel it. It’s nothing, really.”

Willow shook her head, disagreeing vehemently, “Baby, you’re bleeding.” She stood up determinedly, “Take those off.” She said, indicating the pants as her eyes darted around the room, “Where’s your bathroom stuff? Disinfectant and Band-Aids and-and…”

The blonde frowned as she started taking her pants off, “I’m bleeding?” She asked incredulously, “I d-didn’t even feel anything until you touched it.” Letting the pants fall to the floor, she looked down and turned her left leg out so she could see, “Oh,” There was a small gash on the inside of her thigh which was indeed still bleeding a little.

“Tara,” Willow’s anxious voice said impatiently, she was rummaging through her second box at random, “Where the heck is your bathroom stuff?” Knickknacks and other newspaper-wrapped items were carelessly pushed aside, “You need disinfectant and gauze…” She suddenly twisted around to face her girlfriend, her face a picture of worried realization, “Tetanus! It was metal, was it rusted!? You need a shot!”

Ok, this was cute until the life-threatening infection. Tara took quick steps towards her girlfriend, “Willow,” She said soothingly as she laid her hands onto Willow’s shoulders, “Calm down, sweetie.” When the redhead opened her mouth, about to say something, she shook her head and continued, “It was clean. No shot needed, I’m all grown up and vaccinated.” Her lips pulled up at a corner teasingly, “It’s just a small cut.” She dipped her head for emphasis.

The redhead’s eyes calmed and softened, she frowned as she clasped her lover’s blouse in her hands, “I really don’t like it when you’re hurt.” Pulling on the material, she brought Tara closer and wrapped her arms around her lower back, “My brain goes wacky when I hear your owie voice.” She mumbled against the blonde’s neck. “I need to takecahwofoo…” Her words were lost, jumbled together as she nuzzled the softness tickling her lips.

Tara leaned her cheek against the crown of red silk and smiled warmly, “I haven’t packed that stuff yet.” She was pressing a kiss onto her lover’s head when Willow’s hand movements against her back shifted her blouse, reminding Tara of the fact she was still pantless, “Um…” The soft tickle against the bare skin of her bottom caused a deep blush to grace her cheeks, “It’s s-still in the b-bathroom.” Between panty lines and this, this tops the embarrassment scale. “I c-can do it.” She said hastily, backing up a step and out of Willow’s arms.

The redhead pouted, then frowned as Tara slowly backed away towards the bathroom, “What are you doing?” She took a few steps forward, “Let me take care of you.” Her brow furrowed deeply as the blonde flushed a darker red, pulling the bottom of her blouse down over her thighs. “Careful, you’ll stain your pretty shirt.” She pointed, confused. Willow liked that blouse… The high collar and rich earth tones suited her girlfriend so beautifully. “Why do you keep backing up like that?”

Green eyes shot wide in a panic, “Oh god,” She brought her hands up and cupped the space in front of her mouth and blew a puff of air, “It’s me, isn’t it? Do I have bad breath, or something!?” Willow agitatedly lifted an arm and gave a comical sniff, “Do I stink? I’ve been using mom’s soap all summer… I miss my honeysuckle. She has this lavender stuff but it doesn’t… I smell weird, don’t I…” She wrapped her arms around her chest miserably, “I knew I should’ve unpacked my toiletries. Now, I smell like my mom…” Willow grumbled.

Tara couldn’t help but chuckle softly. Of course she’d think it’s her… I’m acting like I can’t get away fast enough. She berated herself mentally, trying to relax and let the embarrassment fade, “Willow,” She grinned and shook her head, “You smell great. Beautiful, even.”

Willow twisted her fingers together nervously, “Then, what is it?” She waved a hand at Tara’s leg, “The blood’s gonna dry and get all icky.” Her eyes were pained as she asked, “Why won’t you let me take care of you?”

You made her sad, you stupid… Stop! Stop, Just get over yourself! The blonde took a deep breath, but kept hold of the bottom of her shirt, “I’m j-just embarrassed.” She couldn’t help lowering her head, even though her hair was up and ineffectual as a hiding mechanism, “I’m not wearing m-my usual…” Waving a hand indicating her underwear, before grasping the fabric over her thighs again, she hoped it was enough of an explanation. The heat emanating from the skin of her face, she felt, could fry an egg.

Willow grinned knowingly, seemingly amused, “Awe, baby… is it laundry day?” She rolled her eyes and smiled, “I’ve seen your T-rex undies before.” Giggling at the mental image, she waved her hands, “It’s cute how he can’t finish the happy clapping song… ‘cause, you know,” Tucking her elbows into her sides, she flapped her shortened arms, “Deficient extremities.” She snickered.

Tara’s eyes lit up, a smile crossing her lips - Willow could be so adorable. But she shook her head, still staring at the floor, “No, i-it’s…”

The redhead cut her off, frowning confusedly, “Are you…? Is it shark week, already?” She looked toward the ceiling, ticking off her fingers and counting under her breath, “Those are cute too, with the ‘Grr! Don’t touch me!’ shark…”

“Willow!” The blonde exclaimed, mirth mixed with gentle chastisement coating the name. “It’s not laundry day or shark week… just yet.” I can’t stay embarrassed… Warm and tingly, but not embarrassed… She let go of a deep resigned breath, “I had to buy n-new um, underwear.” Indicating the pants laying on the floor with a raised chin, she continued, “The pants… they have no back p-pockets? And they’re kinda s-snug. I d-didn’t want panty lines.” Tara’s voice mumbled off.

Panty lines… Willow’s face went slack, her eyes clouded over as a vivid memory flashed through her mind, uninvited.

***

Halloween, 1997. Summer’s house – Buffy’s bedroom.



“Buffy, I-I don’t know about this…” Willow held the burgundy top up to her face, “Where’s the rest of it?” She asked over her shoulder, pulling at the garment and wincing.

The Slayer was busy straightening her elaborate dress, the wig still precariously perched onto her head. “Trust me, Will. It’s all there.” She said giddily, “What do you think about the skirt!?”

Still clad in her peasant top and corduroy pants, Willow looked at her friend in the mirror while holding said black skirt up, “You mean this poor excuse for a handkerchief, let alone a piece of clothing?” She clucked her tongue when Buffy laughed with a bobby-pin between her lips, hands raised to pin her wig into place. “Buffy, I’m wearing more makeup than that crazy fortune teller on T.V…. and, you want me to wear…” She huffed and grumbled dejectedly, “You’re making me look like a big skank.”

With her hands firmly on her hips, Buffy groused, “Not a skank! A sexy minx…” Cocking a hip, she waved a hand looking for the right words, “A non-Willow, Willow… you know?”

Willow pursed her lips, “Oh, thanks.” She mumbled and looked down at the clothing in her hands again before casting a longing glance at the bed where her ghost costume was neatly folded.

“Don’t even think about it,” Buffy warned, pointing at the mirror. She’d seen her friend’s resolve falter in its reflection, “You are going through with this, Willow.”

She turned around and opened her dresser drawer to pull out a pair of black panty-hose, “You’ll need these…” The blonde stood for a moment in deep thought, she looked at the skirt Willow was holding and looked back into her drawer, “These, too.”

When Willow looked at what her friend had pulled from the dresser, her body stiffened visibly, “Uh…” She pointed, stunned, “No, no I’m not wearing that...” She said shakily, “Those.”

“What?” Buffy looked at the thongs and back, perplexed, “I never wore them, I promise. They’re new.” When her friend didn’t seem placated she asked impatiently, “What kind of underwear do you have on?”

“Huh!?” The redhead covered her crotch comically, “Normal!” She squeaked indignantly, “Normal underwear… you know, regular, common, comfy panties! Of-of the cotton variety!” She waved an agitated hand toward the thongs, “Not slutty butt-floss!”

“Hey!” The Slayer exclaimed, affronted by the seemingly judgmental tirade, “They’re not slutty! They’re practical.” She opened the panties up and showed off the exposed butt cheeks, “They have a purpose!”

“Ha!” Willow scoffed, her face as red as fire hydrant, “Purpose, right. What, to make every guy on the street able to stop a cab without the use of his thumbs!?” Those are way too… hot… that’s… She was so uncomfortable, Willow wanted out of her skin. Her thoughts and feelings were verging on the naughty, imagining her friend wearing… those. And, well… that was just so pervy… and, bad… and, not normal Willow.

Buffy frowned, her eyes softened and were pained, “Do you think I’m a slut or something?” She waved the thongs at the redhead, “These are mine, you know.”

“No!” The redhead immediately crumbled under her guilt, “No, Buffy. I don’t think that…”

The blonde looked down at the underwear, “I just wear them sometimes so I don’t have panty lines showing.” She pointed at the skirt, “It’s pretty snug…” She shrugged, still looking somewhat ashamed.

You’re an idiot, Rosenberg. A bad, bad pervy idiot.

***

“Thongs,” The word was nothing but a breath of warm air escaping Willow’s lungs, her mouth slack with dumbfounded realization. She’s wearing thongs… Tara’s succulent, fleshy round ass… in thongs. She gulped, wet her lips and blinked. But, still rooted in place and speechless, her thoughts whirled. Ok, so you’re a big ol’ pervert. We already know this, we’ve accepted it and moved on… But, now… now… Oh, god… How am I supposed to keep my hands off her!? I have to take care of her… she’s bleeding…

Tara was getting fidgety, her girlfriend was unnervingly mute, “Willow?” She ventured nervously.

She’s hurt you perv, no groping! She’s hurt, and… standing there in nothing but a shirt and thongs and… her hair’s up, she’s all flushed like, like when I… Her heartrate doubled at Tara’s tentative call.

“You’re not a slut!” Willow blurted loudly in a burst of anxiety and arousal.

Shock filled blue eyes widened, Tara wrapped her arms around her waist and backed up a few steps which inadvertently brought her hip into contact with corner of the bedframe. She winced at the sharp pain, turned and promptly disappeared behind the bathroom door.

“Shit,” Willow mumbled, horrified. What the fuck is wrong with me!? “Tara,” She said as she quickly made her way to the door, “Baby? I’m so sorry… I-I don’t know why I said that.” This has got to be Xander’s fault, somehow… All those years around a hormone filled, testosterone… guy with his dirty thoughts… “Tara? Please… Let me explain.”

Leaning back against the door, eyes closed and lips pressed together, Tara tried to compose herself.

Anya had quite straight-forwardly pointed out the embarrassing detail of panty lines one day. Having met with Tara for coffee on a lunch break, the ex-vengeance demon had brought the wiccan up to speed on some fashion advice. “They’re just not flattering.” She’d said matter-of-fact, “You need at least one pair of thongs.”

Tara had been embarrassed, couldn’t fathom the idea of wearing such risqué underwear. She’d blushed and stammered, all to the amusement of her coffee companion. “You have a nice butt, Tara. You’re ruining it with lines crossing your cheeks.” Anya waggled her eyebrows and added in a suggestive tone, “Besides, I’m sure Willow wouldn’t mind.” She’d blinked, looking up and said wistfully, “Xander really likes mine.”

“B-but,” The witch had fiddled with her cutlery, “I’m n-not like that.” She chanced a quick glance up at her friend, her cheeks tinged pink as she rolled her eyes.

“Like what?” Anya was quickly becoming aggravated with her newest friend’s innocent act, “You go down on women, get all up in their business with your mouth and you’re gonna sit there and tell me the thought of Willow in a sexy thong doesn’t tweak your nethers!?”

“Anya!” Tara exclaimed, wide and horrified blue eyes scanned the coffee shop, “Not s-so loud!” She’s your friend, you want Anya to be your friend remember? She’s not embarrassed… so, don’t be embarrassed. This is her helping… be honest, they are kinda sexy…

The shop keeper huffed, “Point being, they’re underwear.” She quirked an eyebrow, “Just underwear. They don’t make you ‘into’ anything until you act the part.”

“Tara?” Willow’s muffled voice brought the blonde out of her troubled thoughts, “Can I just explain?” There was a silent pause, “I-I can tell you through the door… like this. You don’t even have to look at me... Please?”

The blonde took deep, calming breaths. She went through the motions of taking out the peroxide and cotton swabs, “O-okay,” Tara stammered and sat on the lid of the toilet, dabbing at her thigh with soapy water to clean the blood from around the cut.

“Ok?” Willow asked with trepidation, an inch from the door, “Ok, right.” She twisted her fingers together and started pacing the floor, “So, thongs… I-I had to wear a pair once. It was Halloween and Buffy thought I should be more daring, ya know… instead of bookish, nerdy Willow… be sexy, skanky Willow.”

Tara’s eyebrows raised, intrigued. Tipping the bottle of disinfectant, she wet the cotton swab before bringing it to her leg.

When the redhead didn’t hear a reply, she boldly continued all the while still pacing, “I-I was a good, normal girl, always had been. Very proper, seldom naughty… But, then Buffy was holding a pair of thongs and I felt things that made me freak. New, sexy kinds of things.”

The blonde leaned back slightly in her seat, letting the peroxide do its job. The tingle in her thigh tickled and, along with her girlfriend’s nervous babble, made her grin slightly.

“I freaked, and-and said something stupid that made Buffy think I thought she was a slut or something. I totally didn’t! I thought they were hot but, that made me all confused and defensive.”

Tara’s mouth dropped, her eyes darted at the door. She thought Buffy was hot? But, before she had a chance to think, Willow plowed on.

“The point - the point is I freaked and because of that, I said something stupid and hurt Buffy. And-and now here you are, wearing a thong and I’m having those feelings times ten. My brain’s so far in the gutter, I feel like a perv. But, I know how you feel.”

The blonde’s brow furrowed in thought, trying to piece together what her girlfriend was saying. Soon enough though, the babble continued.

“I knew you were uncomfortable and embarrassed. I know how that feels and-and I wanted to make you feel better… But… It all got mixed up in my head because I’m letting myself feel all these things for the first time… and, the wrong words came out… again.” Willow’s voice wavered slightly, a hitch evident in her throat, “And, now because of my stupid mouth I can’t even take care of you.”

The doorknob turned and the bathroom door swung ajar slowly, “You can put the band-aid on, if you want?” Tara said from her seated position, her earlier embarrassment all but forgotten in the face of her upset girlfriend.

Willow sniffled, her sorrowful eyes grateful as she tsked and shook her head, “I don’t deserve you.” Taking slow steps, she joined her love and took the hand that had been offered. “I’m sorry I’m such a spaz.” The redhead said as she knelt between Tara’s legs.

The blonde handed over a band-aid, “It’s ok, I get it. Your mouth isn’t stupid, sweetie.” Running her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair, she smiled and continued, “I j-just didn’t know where that came from… if that’s what you thought… of me. And, I have my own hang-ups about...” She waved a hand at her waist to explain. “I feel kind of ridiculous.”

Willow nodded that she understood and started peeling the band-aid free of its wrapper, “Well, you have nothing to be embarrassed about, baby.” Carefully, she covered the small cut with the protective band, “I just wish I wasn’t such a perv.” Willow ran a finger, a feather-light touch around the now covered injury watching in rapt attention as goosebumps puckered the soft skin.

Tara felt a chill run the length of her thigh, hitting her clit with a physical ‘ping’. It reached the base of her spine before shooting up her back, making her shiver deliciously. She took a shaky breath and continued running her fingers through soft silk, “Why do you keep saying that?” She frowned, “You’re not a perv.”

Willow’s mirthless snort surprised her, “Yeah, I kinda am.” She sat back onto her heels and clasped her fingers together on her lap, “You were hurt and all I could think about was you in sexy underwear and how much I wanted to… It turned me on. A lot.” Blushing profusely, her last words were lost in a soft mumble.

The blonde grinned and tipped her head to the side, her eyes plainly expressing her disbelief.

“No, it’s true!” Willow said before standing back up and walking out of the bathroom, “I know we’ve made love before… a lot, lots of gay, slow and passionate love.” She whirled back around to look at her girlfriend who now stood, amused, in the doorway, “But, this… when I think of... This-this deep animalistic hunger? It’s not…” She waved her hands agitatedly, searching for words, “It’s just not… You’re so pretty, and soft… timid and fragile. I don’t want to scare you… but, but…”

Hey! Wait a minute… Tara thought indignantly. She stood straight, her arms fell at her side and her brow furrowed. “You think I’m a prude.” She shook her head as she bent over to yank her socks off, somewhat offended, “I’m not s-some kind of puritanical fragile flower, or something.” Throwing the socks, she aimed for the hamper and didn’t care when she missed.

“No, it’s just,” Willow started pacing again, now nervous that she was saying everything wrong, “When we make love it’s always gentle, you know?” She twisted her fingers together and chanced a glance towards her girlfriend, “You don’t like… certain things.” Quickly looking away again, she all but mumbled, “Things you get to do to me.”

How did we go from thongs, to me being uncomfortable with penetration!? She thought, dumbfounded. “I told you, I-it’s not that I don’t like it… I’m j-just not used to it and it makes me n-nervous and tense.” She finished, deflated. Not to mention it scares the crap out of me…

The silence that ensued was everything but comfortable. Both stuck in their private self-recriminating thoughts.

Willow sighed dejectedly and sat on the desk chair. Way to make her feel sexually inadequate… you’ve outdone yourself, yet again. It’s not like you don’t give her orgasms or something…

Tara knew what her girlfriend meant. The carnal, animalistic urge… She wasn’t a stranger to it, at all. It was just such an intense feeling that it scared her and made her back off. Losing control, letting Willow inside her… Tara just didn’t know how raw she could get, and it frightened her so much. So close to her birthday, she couldn’t help but be self-conscious of her desires, fearing their roots. But, it was affecting Willow. Tara couldn’t let that happen, as scared of her demon as she was it didn’t compare to how scared she was at the thought of losing Willow because of holding back. It would be a difficult balance to keep, no doubt, but she was willing to risk it.

The redhead let go a deep, dejected breath, “I’m an idiot… I’ll go,” She ran her fingers through her hair, her throat tightened and her voice faltered, “I’m really sorry.”

As she watched her girlfriend about to stand and leave, Tara’s mind was made up, “No, don’t go.” Her fingers wrapped around the bottom button of her blouse, she took slow steps towards Willow. “After all this,” The second to last button came undone, then the next, “You haven’t even s-seen them.”

Willow’s mouth instantly went dry, “Uh…” She could do nothing but stare as Tara approached her sinuously, her blouse coming undone a button at a time. “Baby?”

The blonde’s fingers paused around the middle button, just below her breasts. “Don’t you want to see?” Sexy and seductive, you’re sexy and seductive… Standing still with an ankle crossed over the other, she twisted her body to the right letting the shirt ride up her left hip invitingly before twisting left, exposing the curve of her right butt cheek. “It’s a matching set.” The hunger she saw directed at her emboldened Tara and made her own body react reciprocally. Ok, this is really good… keep looking at me like that and we’re in business…

Willow nodded dumbly and shifted in her chair, “Wanna see you,” She rasped, her fingers curled under the seat of the chair as she licked her lips. Her yes darted from Tara’s hands to her crotch, where the redhead could see a tantalizing red lace triangle peek from below the hem of the blonde’s shirt as she swayed. Oh, God… please, baby…

“You know,” Tara said, her thoughts having coalesced. She nodded decisively and looked away from Willow’s eyes. Her fingers let go of the shirt, a hand lifting in the air before falling at her side in a gesture of acceptance, “I can’t really blame you.” The blouse forgotten, seemingly on the verge of a monologue, she started walking the floor slowly.

The redhead bit her tongue. A whimper caught in her throat, her eyes pleading for any kind of progress. “For wanting to see?” Green, wide and ravening eyes darted over the blonde’s waist and back.

Her girlfriend smiled knowingly and leaned back against the wall, facing Willow, “Well, that too.” She squeaked and giggled quietly, wiggling her bum, “Ooh-ooh, the wall’s cold.” Tara’s face flushed bright pink, being bold was kind of exciting. Fake it ‘till you make it… Thank you Katherine V. Forrest and Sarah Waters for years of inspiration.

She looked up from below her lashes, clasping her hands behind the small of her back before speaking again, “I meant, for wanting to feel me…” Tara cocked her head slightly, her eyes dark and lids heavy with suddenly deepening arousal, “From inside?”

Willow closed her mouth quickly and swallowed convulsively before it fell open again. Although she felt comfortable with Tara, drooling was certainly not the image she wanted to project right now. “Oh… you-you can’t?”

The blonde grinned and shook her head indulgently, “No… It feels so,” Shifting her weight onto her left leg, her right foot crossed over the other. Tara licked her suddenly dry lips, barely noticing she was caressing her shin with her calf muscle, “So good.” Her voice lowered by a register, arousal obvious on its lilt.

“Baby,” Willow was ready to pounce, maul, attack and just… She let go of the chair, her legs tensing to stand.

“Ah, ah,” Tara shook her head, having noticed the move, “Bad Willow.” She admonished playfully, bringing a hand to her stomach between the unbuttoned flaps of material and ran her fingers up and down her skin. “You stay put if you want to see.”

The redhead’s weight fell back into the chair, an impatient and hungry green gaze stared Tara down. Oh, I’ll show you bad Willow… you little tease… At her girlfriend’s raised eyebrow, she instantly calmed a bit.

Tara took a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting memories fill her mind, “You were close so many times,” Resting her head against the wall, she let her hand slip down her stomach to the top of her underwear, “I’d be inside you… tight and warm, you’d be so wet around me,” Questing fingers slipped below red lace, “Moving inside you, touching you and feeling your responses… hearing your voice moan,” Her breath began to shorten, teasing her mound as images flashed behind her closed eyelids.

Willow’s pants, although loose fitting, had never felt more constraining. She’d never been witness to anything more erotic in her whole nineteen years of life. Watching in amazement, she could clearly see Tara’s fingers through the lacy fabric of her thongs inching closer and closer to her lover’s sex. The look on her girlfriend’s face, such open arousal, made sitting still quasi impossible. A river seemed to run between Willow’s legs, its current quickly turning into rapids.

She licked her lips and gulped down a shaky breath, “Your hand on me, holding me there and making me ache so bad,” Tara cupped herself, feeling the tips her fingers quickly grew moist, “I’d have let you, Willow. If you’d have taken me then, I’d’ve let you… so many times.” Her left hand busied itself around the third to last button of her blouse, “All those times, I’d feel you right… there, at the edge. Wanting to push inside me.” The last button was twisted out of its eye, “But, you didn’t… you knew how I felt. You’ve always respected me, my body,”

Blue eyes were ablaze looking across the room, love and passion-filled, it weighted Willow down in her chair. Gravity doubled under that look, “All those times I loved you and, you proved you loved me back.”

The blouse fell to the floor, Tara stood away from the wall and walked a few steps towards her girlfriend with both hands at her sides now, “So… what do you think?” She drawled slightly nervous, “Should I twirl?” Biting her lip, wondering if she’d get an answer. She couldn’t be too sure, by the look on her lover’s face it was a tossup.

Willow knew she’d been asked a question but, the part of her mental faculties usually devoted to decoding auditory vibrations into intelligible words, was slow on the uptake, “Uh,” Oh, you can so do better than that!! “S’goo-holy-uhn,” That bra is so sexy, her breasts just… see-through red lace, she’s so fucking gorgeous. Shaking her head, the question finally registering, “Twirl? Baby, you can even do the hokey-pokey if you want.” She wet her lips for what felt like the thousandth time that day, “Any-anything you want. God, you’re beautiful.”

It surprised Willow then, as she realized just how multi-faceted her want of Tara could be. At the start of all this, her want had been controlled but threatening. It had gradually built to an all-consuming hunger that almost had her undone, to then again shift into something sweeter. Awe, fascination, tenderness and feelings she could only compare to those that would inspire someone to worship. Willow felt consumed, sated and starving all at once.

Tara smiled adoringly, she’d never felt she could be herself until she’d met Willow. Didn’t even know who that was, really… But, with time and loving freedom to figure it out, her lover was unknowingly teasing her out. Tara liked who she was turning out to be. Making her way to the seated redhead, her head dipped for a moment – a twinge of embarrassment at the compliment. “Anything I want?” She asked coquettishly from below her lashes.

“Heh,” The redhead chortled, shaking her head in amazement, “You’re driving me batty, you know that?” She smiled, her eyes reflecting pure joy. When Tara sat astride her in the chair, Willow’s hands were automatically drawn to her ass. “Mmm,” Soft, warm and yielding flesh filled her hands. She squeezed and pulled her hands apart gently before releasing the tension. “I love you, Tara.” Willow mumbled between kisses trailed along her girlfriend’s chest.

Tara wrapped herself around her lover, her left arm hugging across Willow’s shoulders and her right hand dug into fine, lustrous red hair. “Love you,” Lips entered her field of vision just long enough for her to lick her own, before a kiss was pressed there. “Can you do that again?” She asked demurely, pushing back against the hands cupping her rear.

Willow grinned, “What, this?” Repeating her earlier short massage, she felt the muscles under her hands tighten and heard Tara’s subdued but shaky groan, “You like that, baby?” She asked, dipping her head forward again to lick and bite the softness at the top of her girlfriend’s right breast.

“Yes,” The blonde shivered, feeling the movements being repeated a third time making the lace covering her sex rub against her pleasurably. She rocked her hips forward and back, her hand pressing the back of Willow’s head lower, wanting to cover her straining flesh with her lover’s mouth, “Take it?” Her nipple was rock hard, the friction against the lace of her bra heightening its sensitivity three fold. “Please, Will.”

Will… Tara’s voice had deepened with arousal, Willow’s nickname sounding like she’d never heard it before. She called me Will. Of course, she’d been called ‘Will’ before. Most people she knew called her by that name sometimes. Until then, Tara and Giles had been the only exceptions. Now, coming from Tara it sounded so much more intimate. Although, she reasoned, that could have to do with the fact she’s straddling me, half naked. Somehow she knew though, that from now on she would feel her heart swell hearing the name on Tara’s lips.

The material was rough against her tongue, the texture of the bra accentuating the tight nub she gripped between her teeth, “Mmph,” Her hands hadn’t stopped their ministrations below, being encouraged by Tara’s gyrating hips in her lap. She tightened her hold with her teeth and started a languorous flick of her tongue against the blonde’s straining nipple.

The contrast against her pebbled skin, between wet and rough fabric pressing and rubbing her hypersensitive nipple, and that of Willow’s warm and agile tongue through the small gaps in the bra’s lace, made Tara gasp. “Ohhh yes, Will,” Fingers curled around silky red tresses, she arched her back to press her breast deeper into her lover’s mouth. “S-suck on it,” Tara pleaded in a whimper.

Willow groaned deeply. Oh God, that voice… Her hands, heretofore gentle although insistent in their massage, turned avaricious. She absolutely loved hearing Tara express her feelings and desires openly and with trust. Every word sounded so erotic. It was still new and exciting, she hoped the tendency would stand the test of time. There were very few things she would deny her lover if she asked, hearing that voice. Things that hadn’t come up yet, anyway.

Her cheeks pressed inward against her teeth, the pressure mounting around Tara’s nipple. She caressed it lovingly with her tongue. A hiss followed by a beep groan had her opening her eyes to watch her girlfriend respond to her amorous attentions. She was met by dark and lustful blue eyes, heavily lidded and trained intently on her. Eye contact could be such a powerful thing.

Tara watched her girlfriend love her breast, her thighs shaking against those she straddled as she rocked back and forth, her hips undulating gracefully. She reached up to loosen her hair. Shaking her head, her hair tumbled down her neck and swished against her shoulders as she moved. The hair clip was haphazardly thrown over her shoulder before she quickly reached back to unclasp her bra, all while keeping eye contact.

Looking into each-other’s passion-filled eyes, words were always encouraged and appreciated. But, ultimately unnecessary between them. As if of one mind, Willow’s mouth retreated from her lover’s breast and at that same moment, the bra disappeared as it was yanked off. She felt insistent hands press against her head again and had Tara’s other nipple in her mouth instantly. “Rrrmmph,” Willow rumbled and groaned, raising her left hand to continue her attentions on the blonde’s right breast, the other dug into Tara’s ass cheek.

Her longing fingers quested farther, followed a thin strand of lace to a patch of warm, soaking wet silky material. Her nostrils flared, picking up Tara’s scent on the air. Her index and middle fingertips were bathed in a small pool of her lover’s arousal as she pressed them against yielding flesh. Willow felt, through the maddeningly tantalizing fabric, Tara’s sex part under her touch. Nestled within the warm embrace of her lover’s engorged lips, her fingers started moving slowly.

“Uhn-mmm,” Tara’s back arched, her hips thrust back and pushed her throbbing sex against the teasing fingers she could feel pressing into her. The slippery slide of those fingers, through the wet and thin material against her engorged, pulsating sex almost had Tara unraveled, “Ohhh, sweet Goddess,”

They were kissing, neither knowing how it had happened or cared. So in synch were they, one movement flowed into the next effortlessly as if in a well-practiced dance. Tongues darted, tasted and caressed. Lips sucked and cradled, nibbled before parting again.

Tara’s hand tightened into a fist, red hair spilling through her fingers as she pulled Willow’s head to the side. Severing contact between their mouths, she took quick shallow breaths and brought her mouth to the redhead’s ear instead. Each aroused breath pushed a whimpered moan through her lips, she licked and suckled her girlfriend’s ear. The yearning deep in her belly expanding like a ravenous maw. Oh, God… Ok, this feels good. So, so good… so nothing evil, or dark… Ohhh, just passionate and oh, God… Her thoughts evaporated, Willow’s hand having left her breast to trail a burning path down Tara’s stomach.

“Willow?” She tried, her throat was parched making her voice raspy. Tara gulped and stilled her hips, her girlfriend’s fingers now teasing under the elastic at the front of her thongs, “Will, sweetie.” She tried again, this time garnering the attention she was looking for.

Willow looked up into blue, her hands retreating slightly. Her right came to rest against Tara’s chest, above her frantically beating heart. The other, cupped her rear and caressed it softly. “Hmm?” She panted and wet her lips, blinking slowly.

Tara wiped her girlfriend’s forehead lovingly, brushing away the thin sheen of sweat that had developed there. Willow looked at her with such a passionate reverence that the blonde knew she would go through with it. Please, Goddess… Protect her from me... Her silent plea seemed to be answered as a thought resounded in her mind: ‘What evil could possibly manifest itself bathed in the light of a love like this?’ Surely, her demon would be cowering.

“Can we move to the bed?” She asked as she scooted off her lover’s lap. Her legs felt weak and shaky but, she nonetheless managed to stay standing. “I think I need to lie d-down.” Tara said, grinning bashfully and taking short steps backwards toward the bed.

Willow smiled adoringly, watching as the covers were pulled down, “Of course,” She stood to follow her girlfriend and pulled her shirt off. Next came her bra, two steps and her pants were off quickly followed by her socks and panties. Tara watched from her position on the bed, lying on her side with her head against the pillows. As the redhead’s panties were taken off, she noticed her lover reach for her thongs, “No, could…” Willow asked tentatively, “Could you leave them on? Just a little longer?”

Tara nodded and smiled, reaching a hand out invitingly instead, “Come here.” Her hand was taken, the bed dipped under Willow’s weight as she laid herself down on her side, facing her girlfriend, “This has been the best summer of my life, Will.” She said honestly, her eyes conveying the depth of her feelings as clearly as if they were written out on paper, “You make everything so good.”

Willow’s heart soared and she smiled, “Even with the soul sucking job?” Lifting their clasped hands, she placed a kiss against her lover’s knuckles.

The blonde nodded and smiled back, “Yeah, even with the job.” She leaned over and pressed a kiss against Willow’s mouth. Pulling back only to press in again, this time more insistent as her tongue parted yielding lips. The kiss grew more fervent, the passion quickly mounting back to the level at which it had been before they’d moved.

It could never really be predicted, which of them would roll the other over first. Their energies were mingled, reading each other effortlessly. Tara knew before she felt the gentle nudge so she pulled her lover on top of her, letting the kiss end and brought her mouth to Willow’s neck. Her hands were busy cupping and caressing small breasts that tickled her palms with their straining nipples. Sighs and groans were their language, Tara’s hips undulating as the redhead made her maddeningly slow trail down her body. She whimpered softly as she had to relinquish her lover’s breasts but, the warm kisses and wet tongue drawing down her skin made up for it in spades. Tara felt a kiss against her lower abdomen, above her thong, then a warm nose nuzzled at the lace. She looked down her body and the picture Willow painted took her breath away.

Willow’s eyes opened and looked at Tara before lowering to watch as she ran a finger along the edge of the thongs, on the inside of her girlfriend’s hip. The blonde moaned and her legs opened, Willow nestled herself between them, propped up on her elbows.

Planting kisses, little nips and licks along Tara’s thighs, she slipped her index finger under the side of the fabric covering the blonde’s mound. Sucking on the skin in her mouth gently, Willow ran the back of her finger wetly up and down between the lace and her lover’s drenched sex. “Rrmmph,”

Tara dug her hips into the mattress, the contact driving her to grind against Willow’s finger. “Ohh, Ohh baby,” She felt her lover tug against the fabric rhythmically, pulling gently at the thin strip of material tucked between her ass cheeks. “Uhnn,” The constant contact of Willow’s finger and the teasing tug against her sensitive flesh made Tara shake from head to toe. Her hands gripped at the fitted sheet, she pulled tight, hips grinding and then she felt it. “Aaahh-Goddess, Will!”

She’d held back as long as she could. But, with it peeking at her through the lace, Willow couldn’t resist covering Tara’s engorged clit with her mouth, anymore. The rough texture and her lover’s arousal coating it made her head spin and her tongue tingle. Her eyes rolled up and closed, in rapturous delight as she ran her tongue up and over Tara’s throbbing nub, and down again. “Mmmph,” She resumed her tugs on the thong, quickly approaching the point where the garment would have to be taken off or it’d be ripped off.

Oh, God… relax, not yet… relax, relax… Tara was swept so high, she almost came until she focused enough to calm back down. “Take them off,” She said hastily, “Will, I want…” Her hips flexed and raised themselves off the bed, “I want…” Words, speaking… them...

Willow lifted herself up onto her knees, taking hold of the thongs on either side she quickly slid them off Tara’s long and shapely legs, “What do you want, baby?” She asked, letting the garment fall to the floor and running her hands hotly along the inside of Tara’s thighs.

Panting, Tara willed her heart to slow its pace and opened her arms imploringly. “I need to hold you,”

Crawling up the blonde’s body, leaving kisses in her wake, Willow came to rest nestled against Tara’s side wrapped in a tight, trembling embrace. “Are you ok?”

Tara blinked back unexpected tears, “Yeah, I am.” She squeezed her girlfriend against herself, “I just felt like I was falling and needed to hold on.” She said, kissing the top of Willow’s head.

The redhead ran soothing fingers along her girlfriend’s arm, “Do you want me to stop?” She asked, ready to do so at the slightest indication.

Tara chuckled lightly, “No, I really, really don’t.” She took Willow’s hand in her own and brought it between her legs, “I… I need you inside.”

When the words registered, Willow was stunned for a moment. Her hand cupped Tara instinctively, “Are you sure?” She wet her lips nervously, “This isn’t because of earlier, is it? I was a total jackass.”

Tara shook her head, “No, I promise. And, you weren’t.” She left Willow’s hand tucked between her legs, “I want to be able to l-let you in,” Her hand ran back up the redhead’s body, wrapping her arm around slender shoulders and holding on tight, “I need you, Willow. Just…” She tucked her face between the pillow and her girlfriend’s cheek, feeling like she could come undone at the seams, “Just go slow, ok?” Tara asked on a whisper.

The redhead’s heart grew so big, she was sure it would burst, “Ok,” She swallowed the lump in her throat and added pressure with her fingers, one falling naturally between warm and wet lips, “I’ll go slow baby but, you tell me if you want me to stop and I’ll stop, ok? No matter what.”

She felt Tara nod against her cheek, her legs parted and the arms around her shoulders tightened. Willow slowly ran her finger along the silky wetness of her girlfriend’s womanhood, her own arousal had been reduced to a simmer. Her attention was completely and lovingly focused on her lover, “Mmm, God… you feel so good Tara.”

The blonde’s breathing grew ragged, her hips started to follow along the rhythm her pleasure conducted. They rocked against Willow’s hand, feeling her arousal spill from her and onto the warm, questing finger. Tara relaxed her hold from around the redhead’s shoulders, took deep labored breaths as she felt Willow’s touches grow closer and closer to their goal. “Will,” She rasped, “Now… please,”

Willow swallowed audibly, slowly and oh so gently, she pressed her hand lower. Her middle finger curled along Tara’s landscape to dip at the entrance of her sex. She circled the opening with the tip of her finger, making the blonde’s pelvis dig towards the touch. As she pressed in, Willow’s perception of time and reality warped. She’d become sensation, the tight warmth of Tara’s womanhood gripped at her finger, pulled it in deeper. “Oh, wow…”

Tara’s mouth fell open, her hands clenched against Willow’s back she trembled and felt herself being entered slowly, a gentle pressure against a ring of tight inner muscles. “Ohhh my God,” A thud in her lower belly made her clench deliciously, her hips dug down onto the probing finger, “Ohhh God, Will…” Another, deeper thud and she lost part of her senses, her hips started a more insistent rocking, “So good,” She groaned deeply. I can let go, I can… this can’t be bad… it feels so loving.

Willow fell in love all over again. She watched as Tara pleasured herself, rocking her hips. The redhead quickly found her finger being swallowed whole, her girlfriend clenched herself around it. Experimentally, she curled her finger inward and rubbed along her lover’s walls as her palm remained flat against Tara’s swollen clit.

“Wil-lowww,” Tara threw her arm out to the side, gripped the fitted sheet tightly in her fist and pulled, “Oh God baby, take me,” She mumbled and moaned, barely cognizant of her responses, “Take me, take me…”

She bit her lip and started a gentle but insistent thrust, “Can I taste you?” Willow panted, her mouth watered Tara was so arousing.

“Yessss,” The blonde pulled so hard, the fitted sheet came loose from the mattress at a corner, “God yes, all of it, everything - It’s all yours, Will.” Her pelvis pressed tightly against Willow’s hand, “I love you so much.”

The lump in her throat threatened to choke her, but she swallowed it down as she made her way between Tara’s legs raining kisses along goose bumped flesh. “You smell so good,” Willow relaxed her hand, her palm falling away from her lover’s flesh and covered Tara’s clit with her mouth. “Mmmph,” Her tongue flicked against it as her finger slid in and out, curling and pressing gently.

Tara moaned loudly, her legs shook either side of Willow’s head and the redhead thought sure she’d found heaven. “Will, I’m…” Her fingers combed through red hair, her gyrations becoming frantic, “I’m gonna…”

Willow nodded, sucking on the clit in her mouth, “Mmh-mmh,” She opened her eyes, wanting to take it all in. Come on, baby… let me feel it…

The blonde’s hips dug deep into the mattress, every muscle in her body tensed up and she held her breath. A long, high-pitched keening sound preceded her undoing, followed by loud and unintelligible moans as her hips thrashed, her climax mind-numbingly explosive. She jerked and twitched as Willow lovingly and patiently cleaned her with her tongue, finger still snugly tucked into her spasming sex.

Willow could feel each and every heartbeat and contraction, it filling her with tenderness and love to the brim. She crawled back up Tara’s sated body, and curled herself around her lover. “Love you, baby.”

“Mmmm,” Tara felt like a puddle of warm goo, “M’too.”

The redhead smiled and chuckled lightly, “Did I go and make you all sleepy?” She ran her fingers through mussed up dark-blonde hair, “You gonna fall asleep on me?” She teased softly.

The blonde grinned, “Nuh-huh,” She denied, “I’m full of energy.” The slow drawl her words danced along blatantly belied her statement. She tightened her hold around Willow’s chest and nuzzled in, purring contentedly.

It took some doing, fancy footwork and gripping toes but, Willow was persistent if anything. The covers were now warm around them, hugging their entwined forms comfortingly. The gentle rise and fall of Tara’s chest as her breath became shallow in sleep lulled the redhead into a peaceful calm.

She was soon fast asleep and deep in love, more than ever. Unaware of how she’d, once again, obliterated yet another link from the chains that bound her lover.

***

The End of the Beginning.

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~M
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 Post subject: Re: New Completed Fic - 2018 :: Breaking Chains (NC-17)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:42 pm 
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9. Gay Now
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Not normally one for just sex, but well done on using sex to tell a story :)

Not sure i could use this as an example in creative writing class, which is a shame. :P

Well done!

R :flower

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 Post subject: Re: New Completed Fic - 2018 :: Breaking Chains (NC-17)
PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:30 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: New Completed Fic - 2018 :: Breaking Chains (NC-17)
PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2018 5:15 am 
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Wow, that really covered a lot of ground, for both Willow and Tara, through their pasts and present - very nicely put together, all the facets complemented one another, and ended up putting real weight behind the culmination of it all. Which was of course hot :drool but also moving, and heartwarming. Thanks :bow

Also, something in particular I really liked that the idea of 'Tara has an issue, with Willow's help she gets past it' (not wholly, with the whole thing in 'Family' still to happen, but still, progress) doesn't happen by Willow doing something to 'fix' things, but just by the two of them being together, loving one another - with the fun moments and missteps as well along the way (Willow blurting out "You're not a slut!" and then desperately trying to explain was somehow simultaneously horribly awkward and really endearing) - and that, more than any particular words or actions they're consciously saying/doing, creates a space between them where their personal world just trends towards healing rather than hurt. That felt much more satisfying than a kind of 'Willow finds exactly the right thing to say to make it better' scenario, and put a big smile on my face :wtkiss

(I did get a chuckle out of Tara's apologetic wheedling on the phone - poor Lance never stood a chance of not giving in.)

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 Post subject: Feedback Replies
PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2018 10:05 pm 
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Azirahael wrote:
Not normally one for just sex, but well done on using sex to tell a story :)

Not sure i could use this as an example in creative writing class, which is a shame. :P


It took me little while to reply to your feedback because, to be completely honest, it rubbed me the wrong way. I had to figure out why that was before I could decide if it was something I even wanted to address. I've decided that I did, so... here we go.

Sex is (too) often used as a cheap way to affect people. In marketing, in t.v. shows, movies... etc. It all cheapens the actual meaning and spiritual aspect of this facet of our species. This irks me to not end. I've so often skipped through sex scenes in movies and shows, because I've found them to be pointless.

I think our understanding (yours and mine) differ when it comes to sexuality. This might be part of the reason why I reacted negatively to your feedback. The fact that what you took from it was that I used sex to tell a story made me feel like I failed. This wasn't a smut fic; just sex. It was an emotional journey for Tara, as well as for Willow. Sex, in my culture, is a means of communication when words fail. When love is so obviously heavy in your heart when you look at a person that your whole body sings... Sex can be a symphony.

Of course, sex can also be just a physical act that brings pleasure. But, in my experience, these exchanges are most usually unfulfilling unless it's with a trustworthy, loving and committed person with whom you have an emotional bond. Empty the next day... the walk of shame, I think most of us have been there. Sex can be used as a maladaptive coping mechanism, (Buffy/Spike season 6 anyone?) Buffy wasn't boinking Spike because she was hot and heavy. Yet, their sex scenes were just that... What I took from their couplings wasn't a positive thing and, it was a subject with deep impact.

Point being, I give as much value to a loving and intimate sex romp, than I do to a meaningful and heart-warming conversation where secrets are revealed and hearts are laid bare, when it's well presented. I was hoping to do that, with this 'day in the life' fic.

Just so you know, though... My fics will probably always contain sexual situations, as well as any other realistic and natural human behavior. These are the things that interest me and so, things I write about. I've noticed on my other fic how you pointed out that you weren't one for 'the sex' much. I appreciate that, and absolutely respect that. Just expect to see more if you keep reading what I write. No point in hammering over the same nail... really.

Your feedback was cause for introspection, and for that I thank you. :love

Artemis wrote:
Wow, that really covered a lot of ground, for both Willow and Tara, through their pasts and present - very nicely put together, all the facets complemented one another, and ended up putting real weight behind the culmination of it all.


Yay!! Achievement unlocked! :bounce

Artemis wrote:
Also, something in particular I really liked that the idea of 'Tara has an issue, with Willow's help she gets past it' (not wholly, with the whole thing in 'Family' still to happen, but still, progress) doesn't happen by Willow doing something to 'fix' things, but just by the two of them being together, loving one another - with the fun moments and missteps as well along the way (Willow blurting out "You're not a slut!" and then desperately trying to explain was somehow simultaneously horribly awkward and really endearing) - and that, more than any particular words or actions they're consciously saying/doing, creates a space between them where their personal world just trends towards healing rather than hurt. That felt much more satisfying than a kind of 'Willow finds exactly the right thing to say to make it better' scenario, and put a big smile on my face :wtkiss


This is something important to me. To lay the foundation for later writings... Willow didn't have to do anything for Tara to fall in love with her. She just needed to be Willow. Along the way, Willow might start to think this isn't the case... that she needs to be someone with power. Tara never knew Willow in high school, nerdy and unpopular. Will, on the other hand, still feels like that. (This is all pretty much cannon) Willow just doesn't know why Tara would love her so much.

It's so easy when I write to fall back on dialog. You have this problem, solution and reaction in your head. You know how it's going to go from point A to C... so, why not have the characters expand on the problem, talk for two paragraphs? The old saying 'actions speak louder than words' is one I believe in. Willow babbles, Tara stutters - words aren't the easiest, most efficient way for them to communicate.

Putting a smile on your face is a great reward! :grin Having someone whose work you hold in high regards, actually being affected by what you write is... well, it's kind of an honor and all kinds of good. :love

Artemis wrote:
(I did get a chuckle out of Tara's apologetic wheedling on the phone - poor Lance never stood a chance of not giving in.)


None, whatsoever. lol

Thank you for your feedback, I truly appreciate it!

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 Post subject: Re: New Completed Fic - 2018 :: Breaking Chains (NC-17)
PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 9:36 pm 
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This is so so wonderful, CnG, thank you for it!!
I wanted to read it again before leaving feedback and am almost done with a second go, but I just wanted to get it out (is babble contagious?)
You have given so much insight into both girls, Tara especially, in what could be seen as a fairly mundane day (no magic, monsters, etc) From Tara's interaction with Lance- we see who she is and her place in society as someone who values respect and empathy over loyalty to the person who is giving her money, and she is ruled by her ethics. She would definitely hate that job, but I agree that she would take it over waitressing, because waiting tables sucks! especially if you are shy and sensitive.

The bit about moving past Oz, perhaps the first step out of the blind enamor of young love to learning if you can survive being every day humans together. This is where the true relationship starts. Tara's resignation and knowing that 'everything happens for a reason' is not a platitude for her but a desperate grounding- in this line, we gain so much about not only what she has been through but also the strength and self-knowledge and self-care she has in light of her experiences. I love her growing independence, shown in her job and in her finding her identity but also in how you described their different living situations, Tara is a bit of a nomad, which can be annoying with the packing and unpacking, but is also really freeing.
I love that she forgives the sculptor simply because he reminds her of Willow (and because she is sweet),
And then the scene in her dorm. Willow so needs to be needed, it was heartbreaking how upset she became when she thought Tara didn't want her to take care of her. Tara's realization that Willow's holding back with her was an act of love, and her bravery for allowing herself to be so vulnerable to Willow in the end - all while being so damn sexy, eyes lowered, leaning against that wall- that lucky lucky wall. Just lovely! I am a big fan of yours! J'adore!

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 Post subject: Feedback Reply for shirrey
PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 12:20 am 
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shirrey wrote:
You have given so much insight into both girls, Tara especially, in what could be seen as a fairly mundane day (no magic, monsters, etc)


This was my main goal. The thing about geeking out on a show for twenty years is that, if you're the imaginative and/or creative sort like me, you start forming your own head-cannon of what the characters are like. Of course, you know this since we're both on a fanfic site... pretty much the physical manifestation of said geeking. :laugh

Point being, in my head, Willow and Tara are fully developed people. Flaws, strengths, etc... And, as much as it's fun having them hang out with me in my head, I kinda want to introduce them to... well, the world? I love them both dearly, and think they can still continue to be inspiring to others.

I wanted to be able to do that without it being a drawn out, hundred-parter.

I have a whole other document filled with Willow's POV while Tara worked... Complete with her mom's gaggle of intellectuals gathering in their living room for a seemingly friendly chat over tea and cookies. But, it was really a mine-field of intellectual competitiveness, complete with passive-aggressive jabs. Willow being proudly introduced as "my gay daughter" once too many times, and her decision to escape to Tara's dorm to surprise her.

What she was doing on that laptop when Tara walked in... we might never know. (Like I said, it could've been much longer...) :fallen

Quote:
From Tara's interaction with Lance- we see who she is and her place in society as someone who values respect and empathy over loyalty to the person who is giving her money, and she is ruled by her ethics. She would definitely hate that job, but I agree that she would take it over waitressing, because waiting tables sucks! especially if you are shy and sensitive.


Oh, Tara. We see her in the show, the kind of person she is. But, we never really see her interact with "the real world". The world outside of monsters and such. The glimpses we do get, some sweet moments with the scoobies one on one (Willow, Dawn, Buffy... Even Spike. "A muscle cramp? In your... pants?") just makes you want to know her. Put her in other real world situations and watch her interact with it. I'm glad I was able to stay true to the character.

Quote:
The bit about moving past Oz, perhaps the first step out of the blind enamor of young love to learning if you can survive being every day humans together. This is where the true relationship starts.


Yes, fairy tales and rose-colored glasses are put aside for the real stuff. Friends and family, school, debt, work... adulting. It's all so dreary that when you can make it a pleasant experience with the one you love... well, it's priceless, really.

Quote:
Tara's resignation and knowing that 'everything happens for a reason' is not a platitude for her but a desperate grounding- in this line, we gain so much about not only what she has been through but also the strength and self-knowledge and self-care she has in light of her experiences.


I love this so much! This one small section started off being three paragraphs long. It was a stream of thoughts more than anything and, after some time I was able to actually understand what I was trying to say. Strength, self-knowledge, self-care... those are exactly the things I wanted to explain into her character, if that makes sense. So, yay!!! :bounce

It's funny, I'm so entrenched into these characters that reading "knowing that 'everything happens for a reason'" made me quirk an eyebrow. In my head, Tara tends to believe in things more than know them. It's like... knowing you can be wrong about something, but still trusting in your intuition that you're not. Willow, on the other hand, likes to Know. Capital K. It needs to be proven, understood logically. Things that compromise her understanding irritate her, make her anxious and impatient.

This dichotomy can be difficult in a relationship. But, when it works... it's probably the most stable one ever. One learns from the other and they both find a balance in their shared understanding of each other.

Quote:
I love her growing independence, shown in her job and in her finding her identity but also in how you described their different living situations, Tara is a bit of a nomad, which can be annoying with the packing and unpacking, but is also really freeing.


Tara's independence is something I really wanted to hammer home. She left home to go to college and escape a bad home life. It takes guts, strength and independence to be able to pull that off. She has all of that in spades.

Quote:
I love that she forgives the sculptor simply because he reminds her of Willow (and because she is sweet),


Tara sees Will in her soup. hehehe

Quote:
And then the scene in her dorm. Willow so needs to be needed, it was heartbreaking how upset she became when she thought Tara didn't want her to take care of her.


Willow and I share something in common (well, a lot actually...) We both tend to feel we're only as valuable as what we can do for someone. Not who we can be for them... Willow is just Willow, and that's more than enough for Tara. But, she's just Willow and when she can't help the one she loves she feels useless... less valuable, and thus - vulnerable to being replaced.

Tara knows this about her girlfriend and makes sure to let her know she's needed, hence the offer to put on the band-aid. It's trivial, she could've easily put it on herself... but in offering, she put power in Willow's hands to help... and, reassured her that no matter what, Tara would still be there.

Quote:
Tara's realization that Willow's holding back with her was an act of love, and her bravery for allowing herself to be so vulnerable to Willow in the end - all while being so damn sexy, eyes lowered, leaning against that wall- that lucky lucky wall. Just lovely! I am a big fan of yours! J'adore!


These two are too damn inspiring... They just work.

Merci!! :grin :love

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~M
CopperAndGold


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