AN: New chapter, enjoy!
Also, apologies to any Spanish or Italian speaking folks, my Latin languages are a little rough
Willow dresses Faith“Uh, Red, this is gonna sound a little weird, but I kinda need your help to get dressed up,” Faith said, nervously fiddling with her hair.
“Huh? I though your hands were all better now?” Willow said.
Faith wiggled her fingers. “Still a bit stiff, but basically, yeah. No, I need help getting dressed
up. Like, to go out.”
Willow’s eyes vanished into her hairline. “You want fashion tips from me? Hello, have you met me? Talk to Buffy, she’s the fashion expert around here.”
Faith grimaced. “That’s the problem, it’s for a date with B. I mean not a date-date, but like a coffee-date kinda thing, so I can’t ask her, it would be too weird... What?”
Willow was grinning fit to bust. “Wow it is true, babbling is catching. So what’s the problem? You got lots of clothes, wear some of them.”
“My gear comes in 2 types Red: sporty and sexy. I’ve got track pants, leather pants and little black dresses for when I really want to melt someone’s brain. I’m not trying for sexy, I just wanna look... nice.”
“Wait, you: Faith Lehane, own dresses?” Willow said. “I thought you were like, constitutionally unsuited to skirts?”
Faith shook her head. “Uh-uh Red. Got lots. Hell, I got a ball gown. Think though, when do you usually see me? Training, going on patrol, or coming back from it. Any of that sound like a good time to wear a skirt?”
Willow blinked in surprise at the ball-gown comment, but shrugged it off. “Okie-dokie, let’s raid the bad wardrobe and see what we can find.”
+++
An hour later there were clothes strewn everywhere.
“Girl, you own entirely too many primary colours, especially orange and green,” Faith grumbled.
Willow bobbed her head cheerfully. “Yup, I’m an autumn. Orange and green really work for me. You on the other hand with your darker skin and whoo-dark hair and eyes are a winter.”
Faith stretched. “Heh, must be my black-Irish blood coming through, ‘cos my folks are pretty light.”
Willow looked puzzled. “What’s Black Irish? Is that like green Irish and orange Irish?”
Faith shrugged. “Hell if I know. Something people used to say to me when I was a kid. You might be orange Irish with that hair, but what’s green?”
Willow waved her hands around uncertainly. “Something political I think. But anyway, not everything in here is orange and green, keep digging.”
Faith pulled out a pair of leather pants in Willow’s size and gave her a funny look.
Willow squirmed. “Um, yes, well. You’ve met my ex? That was her idea.”
“Huh, didn’t figure you for leather,” Faith said.
“Um, well I’m all for adventurousness every once in a while, but it’s not really my thing. She sort of... insisted.”
“Yeah, Princess is kinda pushy. And entitled. I guess what I’m saying is, I’m kinda glad we keep shipping her overseas.”
“Um,” Willow said.
“Seriously Red, what were you thinking?”
“I... Wasn’t?” Willow said uncertainly. “After Tara, I managed to work myself
up to ‘numb.’ I just couldn’t bring myself to care. She did all the work, pushed me around. Kinda the anti-Tara, which was good, because anyone y’know, nice, would have been awful.”
She looked out the window wistfully. “No one could be nice like Tara. Anyone even remotely like her would have been a mockery.”
Faith looked thoughtful for a moment. “Yeah, I get it. Like I couldn’t date anyone even slightly like Buffy. I guess that’s why I was hangin’ with Woody. I mean, two feet taller, black and a guy, can’t get much more different than that.”
Faith crowed with delight. “Yeah! Now we’re cooking!”
She held up a long flowing gypsy dress in red and black.
The black was on the outer layer, so the red showed through as the dress moved.
“I, um, got that for a gypsy costume thing,” Willow said.
“Wicked! I can totally do this.” Faith said.
“Here you go,” Willow said as she handed her a cream coloured, off-the-shoulder peasant blouse with a few ruffles.
“You’ll look very gypsy-like in that outfit.”
Faith grinned. “I am a gypsy, all dark and mysterious.”
Willow smiled. “I thought you said you were Irish?”
“Irish, Gypsy. Whatever,” she said, checking the outfit in the mirror. “I think I have some girlie boots and some scarves that’ll go with this.”
She grinned. “B’s gonna think she’s run into my exotic, respectable cousin or something.”
"¡Hola! Debes ser amigo de Faith, Buffy. Encantado de conocerte ", she said in Spanish.
Willow blinked. “You speak Spanish?”
“Uh, yeah? Doesn’t everyone?”
Willow shook her head. “Nope, not that I know of.”
“Seriously Red, how can you grow up in southern California and not speak Spanish?” Faith said, looked incredulous.
“It was an elective. Um, I guess we just never elected?” Willow said.
Faith just shook her head slowly. “I swear, you Scoobies have to be the whitest people I ever met. You telling me none of you speak anything other than English?”
“Um, well I know some Hebrew because, um, Jewish. And-and Giles knows German and French and a bunch of other stuff, but um, we are the monoculture.”
“Man, this is embarrassin’. You got girls from all over, not even all the ones from the US all speak English.”
“Do you know any other languages?” Willow asked.
“Italian, bad Irish, Dutch German, little bit of Russian. Why?” Faith asked, giving Willow a suspicious look.
“Wow. You, Faith Lehane, are a woman of hidden talents,” Willow said.
Faith shrugged. “You grow up in the shitty Irish part of south Boston, you learn to speak the language. Mafioso types, shady Dutch drug dealers and latino immigrants. And they were the good parts.”
She grinned. “Maybe I can make B think I’m my sexy cousin Isabella or somethin’.”
“Ooo-ooo! Or a foreign visitor that just happens to look like you,” Willow said, waving her hands around with excitement. “You could be all ‘que? I no speak inglish’ and things like that.”
“I just hope she doesn’t punch me one for messing her around. B’s kinda famous for her lack of a sense of humour.”
“Um,” Willow said.
Faith smiled. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. So, help me with makeup, I wanna do ‘nice’ instead of ‘sexy,’” she said.
“Ah, you’re in luck there, I happen to be a fan of the ‘nude’ look,” Willow said as Faith smirked.
“Never really seen the point of putting in all that effort to look like you aren’t wearing makeup, but this is a special occasion. Wanna break Buffy’s image of me a little, let her know the world don’t fit into neat little boxes.”
Willow grinned impishly. “Messing with your best friend is part of the best friend code. I’ll hide in the back of the Peach, I have to see the look on her face.”
She wriggled. “It’s been too long since I just had harmless fun with Buffy.”
Faith grinned. “Let’s go to work.”
+++
Faith was sitting at one end of the corner couch at the Peach.
Willow could tell she was trying to relax as she sipped her coffee.
But this was not the utterly relaxed, boneless Faith, the one that usually just flopped down on the couch.
No, this was exotic and demure, foreign-visitor Faith.
Regularly, every few seconds, she would glance around to see if anyone new had arrived.
Willow smiled and scribbled in her journal. Ever since Tara had first spoken to her, she had kept a journal of the important or funny events in their lives, so she could tell Tara about it if... no.
When she came home to them.
She looked at Faith. Faith did occasionally wear skirts. But the leather and denim she wore so frequently were such a big part of her image, that people tended to forget everything except ‘leather pants’.
Even fidgeting slightly, Faith looked beautiful, and very different.
Willow smiled to herself. There was a better than even chance that Buffy would come in looking for Faith, and walk right past her.
As if the Powers That Be had heard her thoughts, Buffy bounced in through the door.
She was wearing another pretty summer dress with a floral theme, and her denim jacket against any possible cold. Although it was a lovely late-summer day, she and Willow both had grown up in southern California, and still tended to get surprised by actual changes in the weather.
Willow recognised the outfit as Buffy’s semi-official ‘goofing off’ look. A throwback to a younger Buffy, when she didn’t have to save the world or fight for her life every 10 minutes, and dress appropriately for it.
She glanced at Faith sitting demurely on the couch and swept the seating area of the Peach, clearly looking for someone.
Willow covered her mouth to stifle her giggle.
Faith grinned at her as Buffy took off upstairs, clearly searching for Faith.
She pulled out her phone and sent Buffy a text.
To: <Buffy Summers>
Msg: You here yet? I’m downstairs when ya show up.Willow was starting to wish she’d brought Xander along, he could use a dose of humour lately.
Her expression saddened. For all that the Scoobies seemed to be gaining in happiness, Xander seemed to be becoming more lonely.
He laughed at all the jokes. And he seemed genuinely happy that Buffy and Faith had finally made friends again. He had shared with Willow several times, how happy he was that she seemed to be picking up and moving on with her life.
But Willow knew her best friend. When the spotlight was not on him, he had a faraway look in his eye, and his laughter was stilled.
She knew why.
Anya.
For all that they argued and fought, Willow missed the slightly crazed woman.
And she missed the way Xander was, when she was in his life. For all she drove him bonkers, Anya had truly loved Xander, and he had loved her in return.
She was struck by another sad thought, that she couldn’t share the reason for her good mood with her best and oldest friend.
She knew it was selfish and maybe even a little crazy, but couldn’t face the pitying look she knew he would get in his eye, and the worried look he would get right after. It had been more than a year since Dark Willow had existed, but the scars were still fresh.
She frowned as she was struck by a thought. How had Xander survived with only a few scars? He had stepped into the path of enough magic to end the world, and walked away with only a few scrapes and bruises.
She grimaced at the touch of one of her least favourite memories.
She was pulled from her dark thoughts by the sight of Buffy bouncing down the stairs, putting her phone away.
Buffy looked around, unable to see Faith anywhere. Her eyes fell on a pretty, dark-haired lady by the door, a lady who looked eerily like Faith except for the attitude, total lack of leather, and pants.
Faith looked up and spoke in rapid cheerful Spanish. “Hola extraño! No sé quién es usted, pero usted parece bastante agradable. Por favor, siéntate conmigo y hablar todo el día. "
Buffy’s eyes widened in confusion. “Um, ah, sorry mystery lady, I’m a very bad Californian and don’t speak Spanish beyond ‘hello’ and ‘thanks’ and maybe ‘tacos’. You look weirdly like someone I was supposed to meet. Nice to meet you and that’s a spiffy outfit. Oh hey, there’s my thing!” she said pointing off desperately to a random object.
"Dios B, te quiero, te lo juro. Sale el sol en tus ojos." Faith said softly in Spanish.
“Um, something about sunshine?” Buffy said.
Faith took pity on her and smiled, patting the seat next to her. “Chill B, I was just messing with you.”
Buffy went from confused to stunned almost instantly, her mouth opening and closing goldfish-like.
“Faith?!”
Faith smirked. “Somethin’s gonna fly in there if you don’t close up a little.”
Buffy’s mouth snapped shut and she sat almost reflexively where Faith had gestured.
“Y’know, Red’s right about you. Ya don’t handle changes well do ya?”
“But... where... huh?” Buffy said.
“Jesus girl, if I’d known that all it took to break your brain was a change of clothes, I’d a done it ages ago.”
“But, but... pretty! And… legs!” Buffy sputtered as she took in the bare-leggedness barely visible below the long skirt.
Faith raised an eyebrow. “Damn B. You sure know how to make a girl feel special.”
Buffy grimaced and put visible effort into getting her brain under control.
“Sorry Faith, I just wasn’t expecting, well, this,” she said gesturing to Faith’s colourful outfit.”
Faith smiled. “’S’ok B. I did kinda do it to mess with ya. You know I can never miss a chance to mess with your head.”
“This is a really different look for you, and hey missy sneaky pants, when did you learn Spanish?”
Faith frowned. “Why does everyone assume that just because I didn’t like school, that I’m some kinda retard?”
“Uh, would that be… because we’re dummies?”
“Well as long as ya know.”
They sat in silence for a bit, Buffy fidgeting with the hem of her skirt, Faith sipping her coffee.
“Hey guys!” Willow said as she wandered by.
Faith waved, Buffy spoke up. “Hey Will! Whatcha doing?”
Willow held up a tray of cardboard cups. “Coffee run. I thought the busy beavers could use a little pick me up, and you know: coffee good.”
“Good call Red. Ya wanna cuppa joe, B?”
Buffy nodded.
“See you back at the ranch guys,” Willow said, hefting the coffee tray and making an exit.
At the counter, Faith waved to the small woman behind the counter. “Hey Birdie, two mocha’s with all the trimmings, if ya would.”
“Wow Faith, that’s a really different look for you,” she said as she assembled the drinks. “You look nice. Not sure anyone else could pull off the gypsy look, but on you it looks good.”
Faith smiled. “Thanks Birdie. Hey, when am I gonna meet this badass girl of yours?”
The tiny young woman made a face. “Ugh, I don’t know. My hours here are all over the place. Mary is low girl on the totem pole, so she gets to work all the crazy hours. It’s not that often that we see each other, let alone meet new people together.”
Faith grinned. “You know there’s a joke about totem poles there, right?”
Birdie lived up to her name and flipped Faith the bird.
“Bummer. Well I hope that shit changes for ya.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “I kinda know what it’s like to be kept apart from your honey, and I gotta say: it sucks.”
“Oh yeah. Here’s your mochas, all the trimmings.”
“Cheers,” Faith said, paying for the drinks.
“Say hi to your girl for me, yeah?” Faith said.
The woman smiled and nodded, before turning to another customer.
“Here ya go B. All the trimmings.”
Buffy smiled and dove in. “Ooo! Whipped cream, yummy!”
Faith smiled. “You know your whole face lights up when you do that. It’s kinda cute.”
Buffy smiled, her top lip lined with cream and cinnamon. “Behold the cuteness that is Buffy.”
She looked thoughtful for a moment and examined her mocha. “This reminds me of you.”
Faith blinked. “Huh?”
“It’s all cinnamon and coffee, just like you.”
Faith smirked. “Since when have you been tasting me B?.”
Buffy looked embarrassed. “Uh, ah, well we have been spending lots of time together and I did borrow your jacket for a while. It was all cinnamon and cloves-y. It was nice.”
“There’s a place in town, does all kinds of scented body wash. Shampoos and organic junk like that. It’s expensive, but it’s real nice,” Faith said.
Buffy smiled. “You’ll have to show me. I’ve been such a busy little beaver, I’ve barely gone down town.”
Faith choked slightly on her coffee. “Damn girl, why do you just hand me this stuff?”
Buffy looked puzzled for the second time in under a minute. “What?”
“Damn B, I’m gonna have to get a journal or somethin’. To write down all the stupid shit you say, so I can embarrass you with it later.”
“Hey! No fair, I didn’t say anything stupid!” Buffy said, huffing.
Faith’s heart fell as she realised her mouth had gotten her in trouble
again. Buffy looked genuinely upset.
“Ah shit. I guess I’m still not safe to have around real people yet.”
Buffy’s upset expression cleared a little.
Faith looked at Buffy with deep sadness in her eyes. “I’m sorry B, I didn’t mean that you were stupid. I’m still getting the hang of people y’know?”
Buffy’s face melted. “Hey Faith, be relaxing girl, ok?” she reached out and squeezed her hand. “I’m not mad, just a bit not liking of the phrasing ok?”
Faith almost had a breakdown when Buffy held her hand.
“Shit B, what’s wrong with me?” she said hoarsely. “Everything that comes outa my mouth just hurts you, and I hate that.”
Buffy was moved by the look of sadness on Faith’s face.
She put her arm around Faith’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t be like that Faith. It’s ok, it’s forgotten already.”
Faith still looked sad.
“You know something? Old Faith would have blown that off and I’d be nursing another tiny sliver of hurt and resentment. You apologised and showed me you were hurting. I love the new Faith. If I was your sponsor or mentor or something, I’d be so totally proud of you right now.”
A huge jolt of longing and hope shot through Faith at Buffy’s words.
“B? You ever learn Italian?” Faith said.
Buffy shook her head. “Nope. Why?”
Faith pulled her close and spoke softly to her in Italian. “Perché ti amo con tutto il cuore. Tu sei il lieto fine a tutti I miei pensieri, e se il sole non è risorto sarei ancora felice se avessi te.”
Buffy looked up at her with a little smile. “That’s so pretty. It sounds kinda poetic.”
Faith had an almost overpowering urge to just lean in and kiss Buffy. It felt like a drug, she could feel her limbs tingling, aching with the need to just throw caution to the wind and kiss Buffy.
She didn’t.
As much as she wanted to, and
oh god did she want to, she knew it would wreck things. And then they would go back to fighting or being weird around each other.
She knew if that happened it would break her heart.
Buffy spoke softly to her. “Hey. Where did you go?”
“Mmm?”
“You kinda spaced out on me there Faith.”
“Sorry B. Was thinkin’ about some stuff is all.”
“What stuff?”
“You and me stuff.”
“We have stuff now?”
Faith nodded. “I got a confession to make B.”
Buffy blinked in surprise.
“Promise ya won’t laugh?”
Buffy nodded solemnly.
“I prayed B. I was so worried, so freaked out about screwing up this second chance thing we got? That I, uh, prayed to one-a Red’s Goddesses for help to not screw it up.”
She looked sadly at Buffy. “How messed up is that?”
Buffy had tears in her eyes.
She hugged Faith tightly. “I don’t know if it worked Faith. But the fact that you would go that far, would care that much, to look for help? It means the world to me.”
Faith shrugged. “Just words B. No big thing.”
“Stop Faith. You know, and I know, that they’re not just words. You meant to ask for help, and that’s what matters.”
Faith said nothing for a moment, just looking silently into Buffy’s eyes. Eventually she nodded.
“It’s true B. I’d do just about anything to not screw this up.”
They sat in companionable silence for a while, Buffy holding onto Faith, Faith with her arm around Buffy’s shoulder, until eventually Faith started to fidget.
They sat back on the couch, side by side.
“So now we’ve talked about how awesome I am, what do we do now?” Faith asked.
Buffy snorted into her mocha and rolled her eyes.
“Let’s start with everyday stuff and go from there. How’s your favourite squad of crazed maniacs doing?”
Faith smirked. “Purple pants and her gang of psychos? Pretty good. I swear, they are bound and determined to be the best Slayers in history.”
Faith smirked as she sipped her mocha. “Nothing I throw at them phases them even slightly. I swear B, I feel like a mama wolverine, proud of her killer kids.”
Buffy smiled at the sight of Faith talking proudly about her ‘kids’.
“Only one problem. There’s no way we can separate Purple Pants, Pinkie and little D. Seriously, they’re like you, Red and Xan-man, they do everything together.”
Buffy smiled at Faith’s description. Sooner or later she was going to run out of convenient descriptions and
have to start calling someone by their given name.
“That’s not a big, Faith. Even with teams out around the world, Giles and Xander still want teams nearby to patrol the local hell mouths, and to jump in when others need reinforcements.”
“Wicked. Ya want I should float the idea to Pinkie and Purple? I mean they’re kinda sorta local, and I know they get twitchy whenever I bring up anything about deployment away from here.”
Buffy bobbed her head. “Yes Please. I know Dawn has been acting weirder than usual whenever I bring up stuff about the future. I had no idea it was because she was worried about her bestest buds.”
“Well yeah. Also Red gets twitchy whenever anyone mentions deploying squads. I think she’s worried about losing Danni.”
Buffy cocked her head in question.
“Hey she likes the kid. Also she swears that she’s the best assistant anyone could ever have. I think the only reason Danni hasn’t switched to the Guardian program, is ‘cos alla her buddies are in Slayer training.”
“See, that wasn’t so hard was it?” Buffy asked.
“Nah. Five by five.”
Buffy smiled. “Hey, what are you getting Xander and Willow for their birthday?”
Faith thought for a moment before she spoke. “Yeah, I meant to ask you about that. How come X-man and Red have the same b-day?”
Buffy smiled sadly. “They don’t. Their real birthdays are in the same week though, so it’s pretty close.”
She fiddled with the end of Faith’s scarf.
“Willow and Xander have been friends, like, forever. Since crayons and play-doh.”
She leaned her head against Faith’s bare shoulder.
“Neither of them had the best home life. Willow’s parents kind of ignored her most of the time. They didn’t even celebrate her birthday most years, they just deposited some money in her bank account. Xander was the same, except for the money part.”
Buffy’s voice became sadder. “His parents used to drink and fight all the time. And... I don’t know for sure, but I think they used to hit him sometimes.”
“You weren’t sure?” Faith asked softly.
Buffy shook her head. “He was always covered in bruises and stuff, but you’ve seen him fight, always front and centre.”
“I asked him about it a couple of times, but he always got all squirrelly and changed the subject.”
Faith spoke softly. “Never makes any sense does it? The guy is six foot, built, and has been killing demons and vamps since he was a kid. And yet asshole Harris’s could get away with beating him up.”
Buffy shook her head sadly.
“So, the B-day thing?” Faith prompted.
“Xander, Jesse and Willow, all they had was each other, and Willow’s money. So they would get together on the weekend of their birthdays, split all the money they had and go shopping to buy each other presents and yummy treats. Now it’s just the two of them.”
Buffy’s face fell. “Jesse was the second person I couldn’t save,” she said sadly
Faith rested her head atop Buffy’s. “That is really sad and really, uh, sweet I guess. I wish I had a Xander or a Willow growin’ up. One person who’d stick by you no matter what.”
Buffy nodded. “Me too. So for the last, forever, they celebrate their birthdays together. It’s pretty fun, and now the rest of us are invited too.”
“Uh, yeah, about that... I got Xan-dude something I think he’ll like. I got him some top notch gear for workin’ on the cars when I was in town, and an ace jacket.”
“I ain’t so sure about Red though. I mean we’re friends and all I guess, pretty tight really. But I ain’t known her for that long, and we ain’t into the same kindsa shit at all.”
Buffy grinned. “Buffy to the rescue, with secret best friend knowledge!”
Faith chuckled.
“Willow is incredibly easy to buy for. Anything you get that shows you were thinking about her, makes her go all giggly and spazzy. She likes food, anything sweet or crunchy. She likes soft toys and anything that smells nice, like incense or fancy body wash. And she loves things with little lights on them.”
“Just whatever you do, don’t give her money or a gift certificate because… well, you can figure it out.”
Faith nodded thoughtfully, absorbing the information.
“And um, Faith? Never get her a blue top. Or any of us really, but especially Willow.”
Faith looked puzzled for a brief moment. “Random. How come?”
Buffy looked lost and fell into silence, eventually whispering a word. “Tara.”
Faith asked softly. “She like blue or somethin’? This like the pancake thing?”
Buffy nodded. “She wore the occasional blue thing and it suited her,” she said softly.
Faith saw her expression change, crumpling to something sad and broken. “When... when she was shot, she had on a new blue top,” Buffy stammered. "She was so happy. Her and Willow had just gotten back together, and she got the top to celebrate."
Faith squeezed her hand, realizing at that moment, that they had been sitting on the couch holding hands the whole time.
“It’s not fair,” Buffy said.
She went on in a hollow voice. “Slayers fight and die, it’s part of the job. Xander and Willow know the risks and they step up, they accept them. It’s not right that someone like Tara had to die. She was the kindest, sweetest person I have ever met. And she didn’t even die for anything, just some stupid random thing.”
Faith put her arm around Buffy and held her tight. The urge to tell her about Willow’s secret was strong, but she fought it down. She’d made a promise and she wasn’t going to break it now.
“C’mon B, let’s talk about something else.”
Buffy looked up sadly.
Faith gave her another squeeze. “I ain’t sayin’ I don’t wanna hear it or anythin’ like that. You wanna offload about Red’s girl, I’ll listen. Just maybe we should talk somewhere private, y’know?”
Buffy nodded. “Um, sorry about that. I’m all of the stupids, forgetting where we are and everything. Sorry I wrecked our fun thing.”
Faith gently bumped her head against Buffy’s. “Naw B. It’s all good. Did you wanna talk about it, or do something a bit more fun? ‘cos our tree is only a few minutes away if ya wanna go there to unload.”
Buffy sniffled. “Nope. Today is all about being angst free. Next time we’re at our tree, I’ll tell you all about it, I’ll spill the beans and be a terrible blubbery, Buffy mess. But today I want everything to be fun in Buffy-land, and spend time with my old-new friend.”
Faith smiled, her dimples making an appearance.
“So, what did ya wanna do?”
Buffy sipped her drink thoughtfully. “I’m filled with uncertainty and indecision. What
is there to do?”
Faith grinned. “That depends what ya
wanna do. This place does decent food, there’s this pinball arcade down thataways,” she said waving downtown. “There’s a mall over there with a movie place and uh, dancin’ and drinks here in the evening if ya wanna wait that long.”
“Neato! Let’s mall-crawl.”
Faith grimaced. “Really walked into that one didn’t I?”
Buffy’s head bobbed cheerfully. “You really did.”
She sighed. “Ok B, let’s go shopping I guess.”
Buffy bounced to her feet. “Don’t be a sourpuss, shopping now is an entirely different thing. We can both afford stuff now. Not like before, when I had to work the double-meat palace and you lived in a motel.”
“Yeah, that was all kindsa fun. A’right B, let’s go save the economy, singlehanded.”
+++
Half an hour later, the pair were poking through a quirky herbal-type shop filled with soaps, scents and body washes.
Faith figured it was exactly the kind of place Willow would enjoy, but Buffy swore she didn’t know about the place.
“She’s been as busy as a bee,” Buffy said.
She grinned. “She’s been as busy as a me!”
Faith sniffed a perfume experimentally, not paying a whole lot of attention.
“Bummer,” She said absently, as she picked through various scents and lotions.
Buffy pouted. “Hey, I finally make a joke and you miss it! Some ‘find the fun’ gal you turned out to be.”
Faith focused on Buffy and grinned a little. “More like a limerick, but yeah, pretty good ‘Bee.’”
She held out a bottle of scent. “I thought Red might like this. Smells pretty good, but it’s bugging me, ‘cos I know I’ve smelt it before.”
Buffy sniffed experimentally, and turned white as the bottom dropped out of her world.
Faith panicked as she saw the colour drain from Buffy’s face almost instantly. Buffy grabbed hold of the sturdy wooden shelving to keep herself upright.
“Jesus B! What is it? The bottle don’t say ‘essence of apocalypse!’”
Buffy closed her eyes, as the sensation of terrible loss roared through her soul, unlocked by the scent of vanilla and honeysuckle.
Faith’s strong hand gripped her shoulder tightly. “B? B! You’re scarin’ me here, what’s wrong?”
Faith’s voice seemed far away. The scent, the achingly familiar scent of vanilla and honeysuckle dragged Buffy back. Back to the terrible time over a year ago, when the heart had been torn out of their little family.
What was once a smell of comfort and support was now indelibly the scent of horror and loss.
Faith was freaking out. Buffy looked like she was going to faint and Faith just didn’t know how to deal. This was Buffy frikkin’ Summers for cryin’ out loud! The woman had brought down a god and driven back the First Evil, and here she was, having a major freak out over a little bottle of scent.
She put her arm around a traumatized Buffy and was immediately grabbed as though she was the last life preserver afloat on a stormy sea.
“S’ok honey, I gotcha. Uh, you’re safe, ok B?”
She stroked Buffy’s blonde hair and tried her best to comfort the terrified woman. She was kind of out of her element, giving comfort was not really being her strong suit, but she tried her best, murmuring “I gotcha B,” and “It’s gonna be ok.”
After Faith exhausted her meagre repertoire of comforting words, she figured more drastic methods were called for and she scooped Buffy into her arms.
If anyone were tempted to say anything callous or cruel to the dark woman, as she carried the crying blonde, the look of protective ferocity and the tender way that she carried her most precious cargo would have stilled all comment.
She set course for the only place she felt safe, and god help anyone who got in her way.
+++
That evening, Faith knocked on Willow’s door, and was surprised when Willow answered wearing green Kermit pyjamas.
“Thought you didn’t like frogs Red?”
Willow blinked in surprise and smiled shyly. “I don’t, but these aren’t frogs. They’re pictures of a Muppet, only loosely based on a frog.”
She took in Faith’s tired face and slightly fidgety expression. “Um, are you ok Faith? Did something happen on your not-date?” she asked softly.
“Uh yeah. Can I come in? I got somethin’ for ya, an’ I need to tell you some stuff without an audience, y’know?”
Owl-eyed at the apparent seriousness of Faith’s missive, Willow stepped aside and gestured for Faith to come in.
Faith entered carrying a wide flat box wrapped in cling film.
Willow closed and locked the door behind her.
She sat on the bed and waited for Faith to speak.
When Faith showed no inclination to do so, she asked. “So, what’s in the box? Did you have my outfit dry-cleaned? ‘cos if you did, that was nice, but you didn’t have to, I figured ‘cos you’re back to jeans and a leather jacket. Um.”
Faith said “I might have done a dumb thing. I dunno.”
She put the box on Willow’s desk and ran her hands through her hair nervously.
“Hey look, if you wrecked the outfit don’t have a spaz, I can always get another, or, um were you talking about something else?” Willow said, a little on edge with Faith’s slightly stressy non-communication.
Faith finally stopped pacing.
“Huh? What?” she said, as her eyes finally focussed on Willow, rather than her inner monologue.
“Um, you were stressing out just a little bit, and it was starting to wig me out,” Willow said.
Faith closed her eyes and groaned, leaning back against Willow’s closet door.
“God, I have no idea what I’m doin’ sometimes. I’m swingin’ in the dark with no idea what I’m going to hit.”
Willow shook herself and put on her resolve face, her mouth a flat line like a letterbox. “Faith? Tell me what happened.”
Faith opened her eyes and blinked. “Pretty good poker face there Red.”
Willow simply waited, resolve face firmly in place.
“Uh, right. I figure I should start makin’ sense then.”
She flopped down on Willow’s recliner and kicked the footrest out.
“So, yeah, the coffee thing was pretty cool. It was fun messin’ with B. Turns out she sucks at Spanish, so I kinda told her how I felt in Spanish and Italian, which I can tell you is a whole weird kinda feelin’.”
Willow’s expression softened as she smiled.
“So, we went shopping. Buffy is kinda cute as she rushes about comparing prices and materials and crap, so it was fairly fun. We played a little pinball and I took her to the body shop. Y’know, the place where I got alla them shampoos and body wash an’ stuff?”
Willow nodded. “Yup, I’ve been meaning to go there, but somehow never manage it.”
Faith nodded, scowling at some invisible scene that only she could see.
“That’s the place. Anyhow, me and B were talking about you and Xan-man’s birthday, which is why we were there shopping.”
Faith was staring at the scene in her mind, her expression intent. “B had been acting kinda squirrelly for a bit, after she told me about not buying anyone a blue top, and why.”
Willow nodded slowly, though Faith did not see, lost as she was in her own memories.
“So we were in the place with the bitchin’ soaps an’ candles an’ shit, havin’ ourselves a time, when B has a frikkin breakdown,” Faith said.
Willow looked surprised. “What!? Buffy?”
Faith met her eyes and waved her arms. “I’m serious Red, she was white as a sheet and shakin’ like a leaf.”
“But-but why?” Willow sputtered.
“I did eventually get it out of B, after we got somewhere we could talk. Anyways, after she told me and we’d hung out for a bit and generally chilled a little I went back and picked something up. Which is why I’m here.”
“Um, ok? Why are you here? I mean, I’m glad to see you, and it’s not really late, so: yay? But you seem like you came with a purpose and everything,” Willow said in her rambling fashion.
“I got ya a birthday present Red. One that I can’t give you when the others are around. Especially B.”
Faith met Willow’s confused gaze. “I’m serious Red, you can’t let B know about this, ‘cos she’ll think I’m being deliberately cruel and tear my head off. She doesn’t know what we know, y’know?”
“Um, no?” Willow said, still confused.
Faith groaned. “This is why I said I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m tryin’ to do a good thing for you while hiding it from B, ‘cos if she finds out she’ll be all kindsa pissed. And with our history, there’s no way she’ll see reason. Also I’m not sure how to deal with B anyways, but that’s a whole other thing.”
“Nope, still clear as mud over in Willow land. I have no idea what’s going on,” Willow said.
“Screw it. I’m gonna go crash. I got ya some nice soaps and body-wash and shit for your public present, but this is your real present, ok?”
“If I say yes, will you explain what the frilly heck is going on?” said Willow.
“Look, I’m tryin’ to do a nice thing for ya, ok? You don’t want to open this present in public, ok?”
“Wait, did... did you buy me lingerie?” Willow squeaked.
Faith looked at her as if she had gone mad. “What?! Why would I buy you freakin’ lingerie?”
“I don’t know?” Willow said hesitantly.
Faith’s eyebrows came together in a puzzled frown. “Your brain is weird. Why would you think I got you lingerie?”
“I don’t know?” Willow said again. “Maybe because you said all that about ‘do not open in public?’”
Faith just looked at her for a moment. “It’s not lingerie,” she finally said. “It’s not a vibrator or any kind of embarrassing sex thing, ok?”
“Oh. Yay?” Willow said, stuck somewhere between relieved and horrified.
“Never show it to Buffy or Dawn. Please? Right, my bed is calling. It’s saying ‘please crash on me.’ So I’m going to. ‘Night Red.”
Faith turned in the doorway. “Uh, in case I read this all wrong, don’t get me out of bed, just kill me tomorrow afternoon sometime, yeah?”
And with that, she was gone, closing the door softly behind her.
+++
Willow locked the door and flicked off the room light, leaving only the soft glow of her bedside lamp. She returned to her bed with the mysterious package.
It was flat and wide, looking like the boxes that fancy clothes sometimes came in.
Carefully she unwrapped the box, and saw that the revealed label showed the fancy clothing place in town.
She lifted the lid.
Inside was a lovely cream sweater. It was cashmere wool, thick and buttery soft, with a turtle neck, perfect for a cold winter.
And then the smell hit Willow.
Vanilla and Honeysuckle.
Tara’s scent.
Tears pricked at her eyes as she picked up the soft sweater, dropping the box, forgotten, to the floor.
A few short months ago, this would have destroyed her, shattering the fragile veil of normality over the yawning core of her loss.
A few short months ago, the smell of vanilla and honeysuckle would have been the scent of unutterable loss, a bottomless abyss of pain and quiet desperation, a reminder of the daily horror of life without Tara.
But that was months ago. Now Willow had her centre, the yawning void was almost filled. Willow had her soul back.
She had hope.
And now Vanilla and honeysuckle was the scent of hope. Hope and endless love.
With a happy squeak of joy and a sigh of uttermost contentment, she buried her face in the soft creamy wool and breathed deep the scent of hope and joy.
It was missing that subtle scent that was Tara’s unique something, but it was close enough for now.
With a happy sigh and a joyous wriggle, she fell sideways onto her bed clutching the sweater to her chest.
That night she slept better than she had in years.
+++
Over the next few months, Willow prepared the grove with huge chunks of quartz crystal, strategically arranged around the perimeter of the clearing.
If something important were to happen, she wanted to be prepared. She blessed the stones regularly and meditated in the grove daily, wanting to be ready, come what may.