New fic: Copper and Ashes - Red Ink

[Red Ink]

Copper and Ashes

• Author name – Red Ink AKA Roxanne

• Email Address - roxrex.29@hotmail.fr

• Rating - PG I guess.

• Disclaimer - This is a pretty angsty AU fic, with *character death*, some show references, and horses.

• Feedback- All of it! Positive and negative. If you want me to keep posting or not.

• Summary- Willow is young traumatized girl since a tragic accident. After years of loneliness and pain, some people turn her life upside down and force her to finally face her issues.

• Notes- Thanks to Azirahael for trying to be my beta, sorry I didn’t like being beta-ed

I’ll post weekly if you Kittens are interested. Please note that English is not my first language; some mistakes might hide in there. I’ve been keeping this fic and re-writing it for a few years now, and I think I need to let it make its way now.

Fun fact: I learned English here, on this Board, so it’s nice for me to give back to the community!

Notes 2: Thoughts are in italics, emphases are underlined, and the inner voice is in bold italics, and **flashback** in present tense.
This is written in Willow’s POV. I chose to “personify” an important animal in the story by giving “it” a gender (“he”).

A RUN-IN

The sky was grey over my head. Yet it wasn’t raining.

The evening's cool air was refreshing my skin as I ran on the beach. The sand gave way under my feet.
Eyes closed, I listened to my heartbeat. Thump-thump, thump-thump. Breaths coming in and out.

Suddenly, something disrupted the carefully built rhythm. A loud bass-drumming sound was beating harder and harder with each passing second. I felt my whole body tremble with the ground as the sound came closer. I stiffened, waiting for the lightning to strike. All I could hear was the sound of something panting.
It sounded almost like… a horse!

“WATCH OUT!”

I opened my eyes and turned around as swiftly as I could but it was too late.

The rider (I knew there had to be one) reined on the horse, who reared and whinnied, before tripping on the sand, knocking me over. Holding my side with both hands I tried to roll away from the horse.

I was already experiencing the (all too well-known) symptoms of a panic attack, and trying to focus on something other than the white horse was beyond my abilities at that point.
The rider dismounted and soon enough began to move her beast away from my prone figure.

“Are you injured? Do you need me to take you to the hospital? Miss, can you hear me?”

The girl spoke in a rushed, concern-laced manner. It would have been almost comforting if I had been breathing at the time; something I wasn’t sure I knew how to do anymore. The erratic pace of my heart was painful and despite my need for her to be gone with that horse far, far away from me before I pass out, she reached out for me.

Don’t touch me! No one touches me, ever!

But the touch was there, even though I wished it wasn’t.
Memories of people touching me. Hugs, kisses, embraces, hands-holding, coldbloodlyingstilldeath.

Oh no, not again, please ! I did everything I could, please make it stop!...

** “Hey Will, race ya!”
Bay mare speeding on the path in front.
Playful smile on her lips, than pure joy with the horse’s sudden burst of speed.
Under me, the raven-black stallion’s canter is increasing, his neck extended and snorting with pleasure.
Rumbling earth under their hooves; dust in my eyes. A cry of pure pain, then my horse’s loud whinny as I stop him. Silence.
“Buffy?” **

[DaddyCatALSO]

The timeframe is a bit fuzzy here; as best I can figure, the accident which traumatized her was in the past and let to her contact phobia (a problem I can sympathize with). The memories associated with it are presented but we're, at this point, not supposed to know what actually happened. While the accident with the white horse on the beach is the present, showing how Willow is now.

Promising start. And, at least in contemporary American usage, "he" and "she" are perfectly acceptable pronouns for a pet or a farm animal whose gender is known and has soem significance. I amdit I'm no judge since I seldom use "it" for animals in my writing, and evne less when I'm speaking (I still refer to stuffed animals with personal pronouns, and I'm 58.)

[Red Ink]

Thank you DaddyCatALSO for your kind comment
I hope you'll like it!

Copper and Ashes

• Author name – Red Ink AKA Roxanne

• Email Address - roxrex.29@hotmail.fr

• Rating - PG I guess.

• Disclaimer - This is a pretty angsty AU fic, with *character death*, some show references, and horses.

• Feedback- All of it! Positive and negative. If you want me to keep posting or not.

• Summary- Willow is young traumatized girl since a tragic accident. After years of loneliness and pain, some people turn her life upside down and force her to finally face her issues.

• Notes- Thanks to Azirahael for trying to be my beta, sorry I didn’t like being beta-ed

I’ll post weekly if you Kittens are interested. Please note that English is not my first language; some mistakes might hide in there. I’ve been keeping this fic and re-writing it for a few years now, and I think I need to let it make its way now.

Fun fact: I learned English here, on this Board, so it’s nice for me to give back to the community!

Notes 2: Thoughts are in italics, emphases are underlined, and the inner voice is in bold italics, and **flashback** in present tense.
This is written in Willow’s POV. I chose to “personify” an important animal in the story by giving “it” a gender (“he”).

The Ranch on the beach

“…Please, please, wake up, it’s gonna be alright, I am so sorry, I-I should have paid attention…”
Rocking. Touching. She was rocking me, with great care, even for a stranger she nearly killed.

Have to tell her I’m okay.
-Couldn’t that wait? I just hate feeling so damn vulnerable…

With every bit of consciousness I had gained back I whispered: “I’m okay”
“Oh my god, please open your eyes!” She pleaded. I did so.

The most beautiful eyes were looking at me; more like looking into me. Pure dark ocean-blue, so much tenderness in them… My head was on her lap with her blonde hair falling on my face, the faintest of a breath tickling my nose.
Her scent was sweet and pleasant, as was her face: she had an aquiline nose and high-placed cheekbones, fine, expressive eyebrows and… cute little ears.
I stared, mesmerized.

That instant seemed to stretch for hours… until the pain began to kick in. I grimaced and she helped me to stand up. The spell was broken.
“I’ll take you to the hospital” she said, her voice wavering before adding “I’m so sorry!”
“No. I’ll be fine. It’s just bruised. And it is as much my fault as yours” I said before I muttered “Just take that horse away!”
Her eyes widened and she went to catch her stallion. The beast was terrified. His left knee was scratched and bleeding. White foam was forming under the saddle and on his neck. He made no movement at all to try to escape the girl despite his obvious state of distress.

“He doesn’t look good. I shouldn’t have let him go” She said, her head dropping. “Could you pat him? I think he just needs to feel that everything is fine. Please?” She pleaded, her eyes never leaving mine.
Everything is so not fine. I knew I should say no.

No thank you, I prefer to remain sane and I’m not sure I can if horses are near me again-

“Oh thank you!” She exclaimed, flashing a crooked smile in my direction.

What?! I said no, right?

-Wait, if she keep looking at me like that, it won’t be so bad…

She stopped the white stallion as I began to walk toward him. I was already shaking and sweating. My trembling hand reached out and-
I let it drop. It was too much. Salted tears were falling to the ground.
“Are you afraid of horses?” She gently asked.
Me, afraid of horses? Never gonna happen.
“No I'm not” I replied as neutrally as possible. She frowned, and tried a different approach.
“You know, it’s a very understandable fear. I mean, they are big and kind of dangerous” She was rambling.
“It’s not like you have frog fear or anything” she quickly added.

Strangely enough, I did not mind her company. She was the first person I had seen for more than ten minutes in a long time.
In ninety-six days and fourteen hours, I automatically thought.

“What’s your name?” I asked her while trying really hard to make eye-contact.
“I’m Tara. Tara Maclay” she replied, confused.
“I’m Willow. Rosenberg. Well then Tara, I haven’t got horse fear” She raised one eyebrow.
“It’s just… complicated. I know you don’t believe me, just try alright? I know horses, it’s true I do” I babbled. Tara smiled.
“Prove it.” A pair of blue eyes sparkled under a light veil of blonde hair. Her shy smiled stretched in prevision of my demise. How could I refuse her anything?

You’ll get in trouble.

-Well, for that smile, I think she could ask me go to Hell and back. Alright, girl. You’re in.

“Your stallion is a Spanish horse, pure breed. I think of an old line, maybe Yeguada? He’s at least six years old and what, fifteen maybe sixteen hands tall? You should try to beef his back up though” I babbled, glancing up to her face.
“Oh” she choked out. “Hey look we’re here!” she said, trying to mask her shock.
“Here…Where?” I asked. Brightly painted buildings. Thirty stables, one small corral. Signs saying “Let’s go riding on the beach!” in big cheery letters.

Diagnostic Dr Rosenberg? A ranch for tourists. It's official, I can’t save this patient.

[Will's redemption]

Dibs!
I really like this story so far, although it gets confusing sometimes. For example in the end it sounds as if they have moved somehow and just arrived at the ranch...or did the accident happen just in front of it without none of them noticing before?

So Willow obviously has a trauma after a riding accident which was fatal for Buffy, but what exactly happened that day is still unclear. Since Willow seems to feel extremely guilty about it I guess Buffy somehow fell and Willow's horse trampeled her before Willow could stop or something like that. I'm wondering if Buffy was "just" Willow's best friend or if they were girlfriends in this AU, what with the

Hugs, kisses, embraces, hands-holding

of the first chapter...

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter!