Ok kittens, I have an update for you!
I've also done my best to fix up the messiness of the last update (Fantasies), so it may be easier to read now...
Sanpfa: Glad you liked it... It
was supposed to be funny... glad it came across as such! Thanks for being understanding about the iPod issue.. I hope I NEVER have to do something like that again!
Alex_Vixen: "Poor Willow" is right! Maybe the tables will be turned and Tara will find herself in an embarassing situation next!
Willowtree252: Willow DID stick her foot in it.... *shaking head* will our girl EVER learn??! Let's hope not!
Codyteddyh: Glad you liked it and that it made you laugh! Here's the next part...
taralicious:
You sure have a way of telling things like they are!
abarda: Thanks! I hope things are explained for you here in the next part....
rhh21: Thanks! Tara DOES know about the smutty dreams.... let's see how she responds to it!
NOtes: Disclaimers same as always....
Chapter 9: The Backstory
*******
Willow came around the corner and stopped abruptly in her tracks before entering the kitchen. What was she going to say to Tara? How would she talk herself out of this mortifying situation?
Bracing herself and subconsciously smoothing down her clothing to gather her wits, Willow entered the lion's den prepared for the worst.
She actually had real feelings for Tara and now she had gone and screwed everything up before she had a chance to really get to know the blonde.
"Tara?" Willow questioned softly as she entered the kitchen and saw the blonde lost in a daze staring out the kitchen window that looked out into Buffy's small backyard.
Not getting an initial response, Willow tried again raising her voice slightly, "Tara?"
The look on the blonde's face was enough for Willow to hate herself and her irrational babbling for making Tara hurt so.
"Tara, I-I just--- Willow began but was immediately cut off by her companion.
"No, Willow, I think you've said enough for now. I want you to pour yourself a cup of coffee--it's fresh--and join me here for a chat," Tara said with her face now devoid of emotion.
"Ok, I can do that." Willow went to the mahogany cupboards and took down a 'World's Greatest Aunt' mug and poured herself a cup of coffee before adding three heaping spoonfuls of sugar.
"Can I just say one little thing? I promise, no babbling or inappropriate comments," Willow said with a bashful look coming across her features.
Tara nodded slightly inviting Willow to continue. "I'm so, so, sorry, Tara," Willow said quietly with heartfelt vigour. "I shouldn't have said those things to you." Willow hung her head in shame as she fiddled with the handle of her coffee mug.
"I'll understand if you never want to see or speak to me again," Willow said around a lump in her throat as she pushed up from the table, ready to walk out of Tara's life forever despite the feelings she had for the woman.
"Willow, sit back down," Tara said firmly leaving no room for arguments.
"I don't really know what Buffy's told you about me, but there are some things I want you to know, okay?" Tara continued as Willow took her place at the breakfast nook again.
"Okay," Willow conceded settling comfortably at the table basked in the morning's sunshine.
"I just got out of a six year relationship," Tara began not looking at Willow. "Lana and I had been together since my second year of college. I loved her, I think I always will in some ways, but I needed to get out."
Tara took a deep breath before continuing causing Willow to look up and catch the blonde's eyes. She could see the determination there in Tara's visage, but could also detect an underlying layer of deep pain etched on the beautiful woman's face.
Gingerly reaching across the table, Willow placed her hand near enough to Tara's so that the blonde could take it if she needed comfort.
"I spent the first part of my life hiding," Tara said quietly taking Willow's hand in her own. "I knew I was gay from an early age," Tara admitted freely. "But I grew up in a very small town in South Dakota and people weren't really accepting of people who were different."
"So I went through school avoiding getting close to anyone lest they find out my secret. I wasn't ashamed of who I was, but I was young and I didn't know any better," Tara said ashamedly.
"When I got to college, it was like a whole new world for me. Everyone was different, but it was okay. Being different was GOOD there," Tara smiled in remembrance of some forgotten memory.
"I was pretty shy for awhile. I stuck to myself and hardly went out to socials like everyone else. I was on a scholarship and I needed to keep my grades up. This was my one and only chance to get out of South Dakota and into the real world."
"My roommate in my first year was a party girl. She never went to class and eventually was kicked out. Second year I was moved to a different dorm. That's where I met Buffy," Tara said with a smirk.
"We weren't roommates, but we both shared some of the same classes since we both wanted to be teachers. I don't know why, but she took me under her wing. We started meeting for coffee and lunch almost daily. She was patient and caring to a poor country girl who was terrified at college in the big city."
"You grew up with Buffy so you know how she gets with her friends--protective like a mother bear to her cubs. We started to go to parties here and there-- not too many, mind you, but enough to enjoy the college experience. She would always stop the creepy guys from hitting on me too much and always made sure I didn't get too drunk and do something stupid."
"One night we were supposed to meet at this party in the dorm building next to ours. Since it was so close, Buffy said she'd meet me there. I went there alone and waited like a wallflower for Buffy to show up for about an hour. I was getting ready to leave when this tall athletic woman with the softest caramel skin made her way over to me with a drink."
"She was exotically beautiful and completely the type of woman I would admire from afar." Tara paused here taking a sip of her coffee with her free hand. She had not realized that she held Willow's hand in her own throughout her tale.
Willow, enraptured up to this point with Tara's melodic voice and her soft hand held within her own, finally spoke: "Lana."
"Yeah, Lana. She was gorgeous...the type of girl I used to fantasize about," Tara admitted.
"She introduced herself and asked me if I had finally gotten rid of that bubbly blonde girlfriend of mine," Tara chuckled at the memory and the misunderstanding.
"I told her Buffy and I were just friends and she kicked herself for not introducing herself to me earlier. I stayed at the party and we talked all night.
"I'd never had someone so interested in me before and the attraction between us was palatable. Before the night was over we were ravishing each other and making plans to get together."
"Even though it was about four in the morning before we parted ways, I immediately ran over to Buffy's room to share the great news. Forgetting that she had stood me up, I ran into her room to find poor Buffy wrapped up like a little caterpillar on her bed surrounded by Gatorade, tissues and a barf bucket. Poor thing had gotten food poisoning or something and was alone all night.
"I got her some more liquids, a cold cloth and stayed with her for the rest of the night, forgetting about my own news. She came around early that afternoon and apologized profusely for leaving me at the party alone."
"I told her all about this wonderful woman I had met and I was so excited about meeting her for supper that night. Buffy was so excited for me, but she told me she wanted to check out this girl first to make sure she was good enough for me."
Tara closed her eyes on a sigh. She rubbed her aching head with her free hand trying to ease the tension there.
Willow was concerned for the woman next to her and said, "Tara, I understand how hard this must be for you. You don't have to continue."
"No...I'm okay," Tara insisted taking another gulp from her now room temperature coffee. "I need you to understand, Willow."
"She totally and undeniably swept me off my feet," Tara continued, her resolve on finishing apparent on her face.
"Lana didn't do anything halfway and wooing me was no different. Although she didn't really need to, I was already head over heels for her."
"We dated for the rest of that year and she suggested we should get a little off-campus apartment to share in September."
"She could have asked me to move to the moon with her and I would have said yes without questioning it. I was loving being in a relationship and always having someone there for me. Someone to hold at night and to love me unconditionally."
"We became more and more like one person after we moved in together. Which was fine for me, I didn't care for much besides my school work and Lana. I stopped seeing so much of Buffy that year because Lana didn't really like to be alone and she wasn't a big fan of Buffy’s and mine friendship. She was jealous and I let her dictate who I could and could not be friends with."
"I'd always loved to write-- I used that as a way to escape when I was little. Whether it was in a journal or creating fantasy worlds for myself, I always wrote. Until Lana, that is. She slowly removed me from my passion and still I didn't notice."
Willow leaned across the table and tenderly wiped the silent tears that were making twin tracks down the blonde's face.
Sniffing and regaining her composure, Tara continued on.
"I finished my degree and Lana went on to Law School. I went to work and she studied. I cooked and cleaned because she was busy studying. I went to work and came home to an empty house most nights. I didn't have any friends and Lana was spending all of her time studying--or so I thought."
"One night I went to the library to bring her supper--it was late and I was worried about how much time she was spending studying. I went in to the back of the library where I knew she had a private booth rented for the semester."
"I rounded the corner and peeked into the darkened room. There she was with her pants around her ankles, head thrown back in ecstasy while a lithe brunette was on her knees with her head buried in Lana's lap."
"I don't know why I was so shocked and surprised. We hadn't made love in a long time--Lana pleading the stress of her school work. I dropped the supper I had made for her and ran out of there--too much of a coward to even confront her."
By this time Tara was openly crying and Willow's heart was breaking. She got up and moved to where Tara was sitting, taking the distraught woman in her arms.
"Ssh, darling," Willow whispered gently smoothing the blonde’s hair. "It's going to be okay, I swear. She can't hurt you anymore, Tara," Willow continued stroking the sobbing woman's back.
"I-I..." Tara tried to calm herself. "I need to finish this, Willow," Tara said drawing away from the redhead's sweet comforting gestures.
"If you're sure," Willow conceded returning to her chair and re-claiming Tara's hand, running tiny circles over the smooth expanse of the back of Tara's hand.
"Lana came home late that night. She thought she could avoid me because it was a weekday night and I had to teach the next morning. But I stubbornly waited up for her, sitting alone in the dark.
"She smelled of booze when she finally sat down next to me on the couch. Seeing my dazed state she began crying and pleading with me. She said she was so sorry; that it only happened that once and she was just so stressed with all of the pressure of her Bar exam and that it would never happen again.
"God, I was such a pushover. I let her manipulate me for so long...I didn't know anything but being her partner. I let her convince me that it was a mistake. Just dropped it and let her away with it.
"That was about two years ago," Tara admitted in shame. "I knew then that our relationship was over, but I stayed anyway--until two days ago, anyway," she finished with a self-deprecating smile.
"I know there's something there between us Willow. I can feel it too. But... I-I--" Tara trailed off
"I understand, Tara, and I want to apologize again for my comments this morning. I honestly thought I was dreaming again," Willow blushed realizing that she was admitting to having naughty dreams about the woman in front of her.
"I'm not sorry for feeling the way I do," Willow continued, "but I understand what you're telling me."
"I need time to find me again, Willow, before she is gone forever," Tara whispered softly with a single tear hanging on the end if her long lashes that finally dropped down her flushed face.
Willow caught the tear with her thumb and brushed away the wetness from Tara's face.
Smiling appreciatively at the sweet gesture, Tara's breath hitched when she realized that she was possibly throwing away her chance at true happiness.
"I'm going to wait for you, Tara," Willow said so low that Tara wasn't sure she heard correctly.
"I'll give you your time and your space," she continued with face seriously solemn. "And if you come back to me when I’m sixty, that's enough for me," Willow finished.
"Willow, no. You can't do that!" Tara yelled showing an emotion other than sadness and self-recrimination for the past hour. "I won't let you do that, Willow!"
Ignoring Tara's protestations, Willow got up from the table and placed her now empty mug in the sink.
"You've had a difficult morning, Tara. Why don't you go get a shower and I'll make you some breakfast," Willow said with her back to the blonde cutting off any argument before it could escalate.
With an unlady-like grunt, Tara sped from the kitchen. Willow could hear the sound of slamming doors and the unmistakable sound of the shower turning on.
Willow finally let her guard down when she knew she was alone. Tears steamed unguarded down her face as her small body wracked with silent sobs. Knowing what Tara had gone through tore her heart apart.
With her sobs subsiding, Willie steeled herself for the task ahead. She knew that Tara needed time to find herself and fulfill her dreams, that was a given.
But Willow would be damned if she'd let Tara forget about her in the process.
Grabbing some paper from the top of Buffy's fridge, Willow hastily scribbled on a few pieces of paper.
Checking to see if Tara was still in the shower, she crept into the blonde's room and hid them amongst her things.
Willow made her way back into the kitchen to searching for breakfast fixings and tried to push the hurt look on Tara's face out of her mind.
******
Tara's hasty actions of door slamming woke a definitely hung over Buffy from a dead sleep. Groaning in pain over the queasy feeling in her stomach and the jackhammers pounding in her head, she reached blindly for the glass of water she always kept on her nightstand for mornings like these.
Taking a blessed gulp of the refreshing liquid, Buffy, still with her eyes clenched tightly shut, opened the drawer to her nightstand and searched for the aspirin she knew was in there.
Lying back in bed, Buffy pleaded with the room to stop spinning. When she felt the telltale signs of saliva pooling in her dry mouth, she jumped up out of bed, threw her door open, and rushed headlong into the bathroom with her hands held firmly over her mouth, oblivious to the sounds of the shower in progress.
Just as Buffy opened the door, Tara was pulling the curtain across still mumbling to herself over Willow's comments.
The two blonde women--one gloriously naked and dripping water, the other trying not to projectile vomit before she reached the toilet--stared at each other in shock.
"Jeez, Tare, lock the door much?" Buffy grumbled as she made her way to the toilet and immediately opened the lid and slid to the floor.
"Buffy!" Tara squealed as she tried to cover herself with the closest object. Unfortunately, she grabbed the shower curtain in her haste and became tangled in the slippery material.
Losing her balance quickly, Tara threw out her arms to catch herself, but fell flat onto the bathroom floor in a heap of dripping limbs.
Hearing the commotion from the kitchen, Willow ran to investigate and make sure Tara was alright.
******
TBC.... Turnabout's fair game, right??! Hope you guys liked it!!! More to come soon...
by Zampsa1975 » Fri May 21, 2010 6:48 am 
and the same time so far..
Maybe it wasn't supposed to be funny, but I laugh at stuff like that...people falling on the floor, saying obscenely embarrassing things. Bwahaha! Great job! And now that Tara knows not only that Willow is obviously attracted to her, but that she has been having very naughty thoughts, things could get even more interesting. *imagining Tara trying to resist now* hahaha
Real life steps in, I don;t read stories for a couple days and I miss leaving feedback on 3 chapters... man I suck! Ok, I'm gonna try and leave feedback on what I missed... Bare with me? 
, 3- wrapped in the shower curtain, uncerimoniously dumped to the floor ... 
