My first fic - Lost Hope (Updated 11 Oct 09)

[Poniac]

Lost Hope

Love feedback - so the more the better - and thanks to all the kittens for being so friendly and supportive so far.

Big thanks once again to Restlessminds for being my beta and pointing out more than a few typos and one or two errors in logic!!

PG 13 - Just a touch of angst....

Zampasa1975 - Thanks for reading, they're on their way to reconnecting.
DaddyCatALSO - She's back, and not bad Oh, and synchronised dreaming, much nicer
restlessminds - thanks for your comments and your help

A small-ish update - with work and study and life taking it's toll on my productivity.....

Part 18 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Giles, I... I think I need help.”

The watcher sat down next to the bed, “Of course, we’re all here to help you Willow.”

“No, Giles... I mean, I think I need to go away, to the coven you mentioned, to study, to learn how to control the magicks.” She watched Giles shift in his chair and stare at the ground. “You think I’m being silly.”

“No, I think you’re being remarkably courageous, and I agree that you need to learn how to control your magicks, but you’ve not yet recovered, and frankly I don’t think the others will let you out of their sight so soon.”

Willow grimaced, “Giles, if I don’t go now while this is fresh, and raw, I don’t think I’ll be able to drag myself away later on.”

Giles nodded, “You know your scooby family will miss you terribly.”

“if I don’t learn how to manage my power, I won’t have a family. I’ll end up losing control again, turning into the big bad and destroying everything and everyone that I love,” said Willow, her voice rising, “again.”

“I see, well, I think it will be a very difficult, but rewarding journey for you Willow. Have you talked to the others about this?”

“No, I...,” Willow paused and wiped the tears from her eyes, “I want to tell Tara first,” she whispered.

The watcher steadied himself, cleared his throat and placed a hand on Willow’s shoulder, “Shall I fetch her for you?”

Willow couldn’t respond, she simply nodded, grateful for the watchers’ insight. He smiled gently at the redhead and headed towards the bedroom door. A few minutes later Willow heard a gentle knock at the door. She took a deep breath to calm herself.

‘Come in.’

Tara quietly stepped through the doorway and closed it behind her. She gave the redhead a lopsided smile, ‘Hey, you look a little better, sitting up on your own and all.’

Willow smiled; she couldn’t help it, she was so happy to see the blonde in their - her room, smiling at her.

‘Um, feeling a bit better, thanks.’

“Giles said you wanted to talk to me…”

Willow motioned for the blonde to sit on the bed next to her.

“I’ve made a decision, and I want to talk to you about it.”

Tara’s heart plummeted at the sound of Willow’s voice.

“O-okay.”

She took Tara’s hand in hers and took a deep breath, “Tara, you know how bad I feel about everything that’s happened.”

Tara nodded, too unsure of herself to speak.

“I’ve tried to apologise, to the others and to you, but deep down I don’t really think that I have the words to express how horrible I feel about what I did. And I don’t really think that I deserve your forgiveness …” she raised a hand to stop Tara’s objections, “until I can really prove that I mean what I said, that I am sorry and that it won’t happen again – ever.”

Tara frowned slightly watching Willow carefully.

Willow stared into Tara’s blue eyes, she felt light headed as she got lost in Tara’s gaze. She broke eye contact and cleared her throat, “So I’ve decided that I need go to the coven that Giles talked about, I need to learn how to manage my magicks, so you know that I really mean it, that I can really prove that I have got control.”

“Go away?” whispered Tara, her heart jumping a beat.

“To a coven, in England – Giles knows them. He suggested it a while ago, but…I... I didn’t listen, I was too proud, too…God, too far gone to listen,” she paused, “and it cost me everything I cared about,” tears streamed down her cheeks as she caressed the blonde’s hands, “and I know that I can’t even be y-your f-friend if I can’t control my magicks, and I’ve already lost too much to even bear the thought of not having you in my life.”

Willow fought to control her emotions, “Tara, I did something so wrong, I don’t know if I can forgive myself, let alone ask you to forgive me. I have to go, I can’t risk hurting you or any of my friends ever again.”

Tara nodded, tears streaming down her face, desperately wanting to beg Willow to stay but knowing she was doing the right thing.

Willow looked away from the stricken blonde, “I’ve thought about this a lot, and I don’t want to leave you, but it’s what I need to do, for me for…” The redhead pulled her hands from the blondes and wiped away Tara’s tears, “and besides,” she added with a sad smile, “I’ve always wanted to see Stonehenge.”

Tara tried to smile at Willow’s attempt to lighten the atmosphere between them; she pulled the redhead to her chest and hugged her tight. She leant her head on Willow’s shoulder and nuzzled in her neck, “I’m so proud of you Will, I... I don’t w-want you to go, but I know that you have to do what you think is r-right for you.” She pulled away from the redhead and wiped at her own tears, “Um, when will you g-go?”

Willow hesitated, “I’m leaving in the morning – I don’t think I could do it if I waited…” Her eyes stayed on the blonde.

Tara avoided Willow’s eyes, she stared down at her hands, her stomach churning as she thought about Willow leaving.

“How long w-will you be g-gone?” she stammered, holding back tears.

‘I don’t know, weeks, months…I’m not coming back until I’ve got this under control.’

Willow took a deep breath, ‘Tara, you know that your name is etched in my heart, but I won’t ask you to wait for me, I can’t ask that of you.’ She wiped away tears as she started to cry, ‘I don’t deserve you, and … it’s selfish to expect you … to … wait when you could … be getting on … with your life…’ She buried her head in her knees and let the sobs tear through her body.

They were both silent for a few minutes, Willow composing herself, Tara too afraid to speak, fearing she would burst into tears. Willow looked up and found Tara’s eyes.

Tara stared into Willow’s emerald orbs, ‘Will, I – I …’ she couldn’t continue as she started to cry, quickly she stood back from the bed, ‘I’ll help Mr Giles organise the t-trip,’ and fled from the room. As she flew down the stairs she collided with Buffy on her way up to see Willow.

“Tara, what’s wrong? Is Willow okay?” Buffy’s eyes darted towards the redhead’s room.

“She’s u-upset, I j-just need a m-minute,” stammered the blonde as she continued down the stairs.

Buffy knocked on the bedroom door, and gently pushed it open, “Will, are you okay?”

“Hey Buffy, come in.” Willow’s listless voice worried the slayer. She sat down in the chair next to Willow’s bed. “Hey, I just saw Tara, she wasn’t looking so good,” the slayer frowned. “Now I can see that you don’t look so good either, what’s up?”

The redhead sighed, and rested her forehead up against her knees, “Oh Buffy I don’ t know what to do.” Willow looked at the slayer, took a breath and slowly explained her plans. “I need to go away... I’ve decided to go to England, to a coven, to get my powers under control.”

Buffy’s eyebrows raised, but she stayed silent and nodded for Willow to continue.

“I don’t want to go, I really want to stay here and work things out with Tara, but if I don’t get myself under control then I could go all dark and vein-y again and who knows what could happen?” Willow took a shuddering breath. “God Buffy what if I stay and then I still lose her, I mean after everything we’ve been through and I screw it up all over again?”

“I don’t know Will, I mean, isn’t it a bit soon to be going anywhere, you need to get your strength back.”

Buffy stared into her friends eyes, she saw emerald green tinged with fear as Willow responded, “Buff, if I don’t go soon, I’m not sure I could leave. I’m so scared now that I’ll never get Tara back that it’s a sacrifice I can manage, but if things work out between us, I don’t think I could leave her…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tara wiped away the tears as she sat on the Summer’s back porch. She wrapped her arms around her knees as she calmed herself and tried to bring her raging thoughts under control.

She knew she was over reacting, she knew she was being unreasonable, but her emotions were overpowering. On the one hand she was proud that Willow had faced her demons and won, and had the strength to continue the fight. On the other she was terrified that Willow was going to be on the other side of the world, where someone else, a stranger would be looking after her.

Throughout the whole ordeal she’d been the one to take care of Willow. Of course the others had helped, and been involved, but it was Tara who slept next to her each night, it was Tara who brought her food and drink, and it was Tara who talked to her each night.

She wasn’t ready to give up her care to someone else, she knew Willow was safe with her, but…. Tara’s head snapped up as she heard the floorboards creek, she looked up to Willow’s sheepish smile.

“Hey – sorry, I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Hey,” Tara managed a small smile, “you’re walking.”

“Yep, got my learner legs on.”

Tara smiled at the redhead, “Looks good on you.”

Willow lowered herself and sat down next to the blonde, their shoulders touching. They silently watched the birds flutter from bush to bush, flapping and dancing, catching their lunch.

The redhead gently nudged Tara with her shoulder, “I’m sorry to spring it on you like that, I guess I just wanted to tell you, get it over and done with, but I am sorry, I could have handled it a little better, you know with the whole I want to run off to another country speech…”

A small smile formed at the corner of Tara’s mouth, “Well you’re not kn-known for you subtlety Will, I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“I know that now’s not the best time to go…” Willow paused and reached out for the blonde’s hand, “when things between us are…uncertain, but I want to prove to you that what we um have, is more important than anything else, and that it’s worth the sacrifice of being away from you for a little while for the chance to be with you again.”

Tara smiled as tears filled her eyes, “How did we get here Will?” she whispered.

“I didn’t listen, I was stubborn…”

“It wasn’t all your fault Willow, I could have dealt with the situation better, I could have been more understanding…”

Willow brought Tara’s hand to her lips and gently kissed her fingers one by one. “Let’s not do this,” she whispered, “I have just one thing to ask.”

Tara’s eyes locked onto Willows, her heart beat out an irregular pattern.

“What’s that?”

“Is there a chance, I mean for us, is there a chance – even just a small chance for us, when I come back?”

Tara brought Willow’s hand to her lips and gently kissed her fingers one by one. “Yes.”

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I kinda hope that Tara goes to England with Willow as her support...

[DaddyCatALSO]

Awww... yes, it's never just one person. But good positive steps to start from.

[Poniac]

A little teaser...

From: wr@hotmail.com
To: tm@hotmail.com
Time: 2130

Hey Tara

I’m here in Wick; finally, after long plane ride, bus ride, and now I’m sitting in a little cafe waiting for Angela to pick me up. Angela co-ordinates the coven and I’m to stay with her until ‘I get my problems sorted out.’ Kinda makes me feel like a delinquent child, which I suppose I am.

Anyway I just wanted you to know that I got here safe, in case you were worried. I’ll e-mail whenever I can, the reception here is very dodgy and I can only send e-mails from the café in town.

Willow

[Poniac]

Another little teaser...
From: tm@hotmail.com
To: wr@hotmail.com
Time: 2212

Willow

I’m glad you got there fine; thanks for e-mailing me, I know you must be very tired after your trip.

I’m very proud of you, and I’m sure that Angela and the coven will look after you. I look forward to your e-mails, when ever you can send them.

I should go, I have an early class tomorrow and Anya has me taking inventory at the shop in the afternoon

Tara

[Poniac]

A few more teasers....

From: tm@hotmail.com
To: wr@hotmail.com
Time: 0750
Subject: Day 3

Willow

I know you won’t get into town very often, I thought I’d send you an e-mail, so you have a few to read when you get into town.

Buffy is patrolling more than usual, Dawn is going to school and spending a lot of time at Janice’s. Anya and Xander are okay, I think Xander misses you a lot though. He spends a bit of time hanging around here working in the garden and fixing stuff around the house.

Since you’ve been gone Buffy insisted that I stay with her so I’m staying in your room until you get back. It’s nice to have the gang around, but I miss a certain redhead.

Things here are very quiet without you.

I know you’re going to do well.

Tara

[Poniac]

From: tm@hotmail.com
To: wr@hotmail.com
Time: 2315
Subject: Day 5

Dear Willow

I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you and what you’re doing. I miss you so much but I know you’re doing the right thing.

Your Tara

[Poniac]

From: tm@hotmail.com
To: wr@hotmail.com
Time: 1015
Subject: Day 7

Willow

I hope you’re doing well. You've been there a week now, hopefully Angela gives you a bit of a rest soon. I know you’re probably working too much and you should take time to rest.

Buffy says to say hi, she misses you, she doesn’t say much, she’s been moping around a bit the last couple of days. Dawn is doing well and keeps asking about you, I know she wants you to come back as soon as you can, as soon as you are ready.

As for me Anya is keeping me busy as the shop and I’ve got some assignments due soon. They are a welcome distraction from thinking about you.

I miss you.

Tara

[Poniac]

From: wr@hotmail.com
To: tm@hotmail.com
Time: 1521
Subject: Day 8

Tara

Well it’s been over a week and today is the first time I have had a chance to rest. Angela had to do some shopping so she bought me into Wick. I’m sitting in a café having a mocha while she’s is at the market. I thought it was a good time to send you an e-mail. Thanks so much for all your e-mails, it was very nice to see them waiting for me

I miss you and all the scoobies, it’s hard, even though everyone is nice. I see the way they look at me, it’s like they’re scared of me, which I suppose they should be. If I’m honest I’m a little scared of me. Angela is nice, she’s in her fifties and Neil is about the same. She’s a very powerful witch and the head of the coven for this area. Neil spends most of his time farming and I really only see him late at night and at breakfast, just for a few minutes, but he has kind eyes.

Angela wakes me at dawn each day for meditation and grounding, she says I need to ground my power each day so it doesn’t build up and get out of my control. I have to do this until I learn more control. We spend most of the day doing exercises, chanting, learning about herbs, and magic history and protocols. At night we meditate again, we have dinner together and I sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

Yesterday I had to tell Angela some of the magical stuff that I did that I’m ashamed of, and it was very hard. I realised that almost all of it involved you, and that made it much harder. Until yesterday I hadn’t told Angela much at all. When I told her that I erased your memories of our argument, well, I didn’t like the look that she gave me, but I guess I deserved it.

Tomorrow I meet the rest of the coven, I’m a bit nervous thinking about it, but Angela says not to worry. I should go, I can see Angela walking towards the café.

Say hi to everyone for me.

I miss you too - a lot.

Your Willow.

[tarawillow<3]

I like the email/teasers
its a great fic, and i really enjoy reading it -dances-
cant wait for more!! -grins and dances faster-

[Zampsa1975]

I really like the emails... I hope that they soon are able to meet in person and reconnect physically...

[Poniac]

Lost Hope
Love feedback - so the more the better - and thanks to all the kittens for being so friendly and supportive so far.

NC17 - Just a touch naughty....

Zampasa1975 - Thanks for reading, they're on their way to reconnecting hopefully at the same time and place
DaddyCatALSO - Thanks for reading - and reading and reading
Tarawillow<3 - I am to please a small update to be followed shortly by a few more e-mails...

A small-ish update.....

Part 19 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow pressed the send button, closed her laptop and slipped it into her bag. She stood as Angela entered the coffee shop. The older witch smiled at Willow and motioned for her to take a seat.

“Sit dear, I’m just going to have a cup of tea, shopping at the markets was quite the challenge today,” sighed Angela as she slid into a seat.

Willow returned to her seat and watched as Angela ordered a cup of tea and settled into her seat. “So did you e-mail your – Tara?” the witch asked as she examined the redhead.

Willow shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “Uh, yeah, I sent her an e-mail, you know letting her know what I’m doing and stuff, but she’s not my Tara any more.”

Angela watched Willow’s face harden as she fought to control her emotions. Clearly the redhead was still in love with her Tara, Angela decided to change the topic. “So what shall we do for the rest of the afternoon Willow? You’ve worked very hard this week and I think an afternoon off would do you wonders.”

Willow’s eyes sparkled, “Well I saw a bookshop down the street, I’d like to go in there and have a look around, and then maybe we could go to that jewellery store – I saw something in the window that I thought …” Willow paused as tears welled in her eyes.

Angela leant forward and grasped Willow’s hand, “Something that Tara would like?”

Willow nodded silently.

Angela nodded, and gently rubbed the redhead’s hand. She hated to see the young woman suffer so much. “Well I think that’s a jolly good idea, let’s get a wriggle on shall we, I don’t want to be riding back to the farm in the dark!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow sat on her bed and stared at the pile of goods in her lap. She picked up the book and carefully opened it to the front page. She smiled as she ran her fingers over the raised print, Edna Millay, Renascence. Willow’s heart pounded as she recalled the afternoon she’d spent with Tara in the bookshop on Sunnydale’s main street, she smiled to herself remembering the time they spent in the upstairs nook of the bookshop. She knew how much Tara loved Renascence and she was stunned to find an immaculate signed first edition in the dark little bookshop in Wick, she was excited thinking how much the blonde would enjoy the book.

Angela knocked on the door, “Would you like to show me what caught your eye at the shop?”

“Sure.’

Angela sat down next to the redhead. Willow smiled and took a deep breath, “Well it’s a bit complicated, but…” She put the book down and pulled out a small box, as she opened it she pulled out a pendant, beautifully crafted white gold, in the shape of a teardrop encasing a polished grey centre. She knew as soon as she saw the item that it was exactly what she was looking for, a symbol of her love for Tara.

Angela gasped, “Willow this is exquisite,” she smiled at the redhead, “I guess this isn’t for you?”

Willow flushed and shook her head.

Angela examined the pendant, “She is one lucky young lady, so tell me about the piece.”

“Well the grey stone is actually a cut cross section of an iron meteorite,” Willow held the pendant up to the light, “see the criss crossed pattern?”

Angela nodded.

Willow continued, “That’s called a Widmanstatten pattern, we can see it because the meteorite was sliced, polished and cleaned with nitric acid.”

Angela stared at the pendant, “That’s remarkable, it really is beautiful. So that’s iron?”

“Partly, iron and nickel, which melt when superheated, and when they cool, they form this amazing criss cross pattern,” Willow smiled, “Tara’s always thought that pattern was beautiful, but she’s only ever seen it in a book.”

Angela smiled at Willow, “I guess there’s more to it than that?”

Willow flushed, “Uh yeah, meteorites are remnants of the early universe, literally star dust formed into small asteroids. Sometimes they get smashed together creating smaller pieces that fly through the universe for millions of years until one day they hit the earth’s atmosphere.” Willow paused to finger the pendant, “only the biggest and toughest survive the firey trip through our atmosphere.”

“Ah,” Angela nodded.

“The firey entry into the atmosphere makes its bond stronger, more stable.” Willow frowned as tears came to her eyes, “The white gold is for purity,” Willow hesitated, and avoided Angela’s eyes, “Tara’s of course, and the shape of the tear drop is a reminder to me of the pain I caused her… us.”

Both witches were silent; Angela leaned forward and kissed Willow on the forehead, “I’m sure she’s going to love it.” She stood up and glanced at her watch, “I’m going to make a quick trip to the neighbours Willow, there’s something I need to do - I’ll be back soon. Neil will come with me so you’ll have the place to yourself for the next hour or so.”

Willow frowned, “It’s late, is there anything I can do to help?”

Angela headed towards the bedroom door, she turned and smiled at the redhead, “No thank you child, I think you need to rest, it’s back to work tomorrow, and you need to be ready to meet the rest of the coven.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angela gripped the receiver as she quickly dialled a number. She nodded to her friend, “Agnes, I’ll have that tea over here, thanks dear, I’ll be a few minutes.”

Agnes left a small pot of tea on the table next to Angela and quietly left the room.

“Hello,” came the gruff response over the line.

“Rupert?”

“Angela, is everything okay, is Willow alright?”

Angela frowned, “Well the girl is breathing, eating, walking, so she’s alive, but I’m very worried for her…”

“Tara…” Giles sighed.

“Yes, of course you git,” Angela chuckled down the line, “the poor thing is heartbroken and lovesick; she’s barely functioning.”

“Well Angela there’s no need to call me names, I’ve got the same situation here, Tara is just beside herself and I don’t know what to do,” Giles complained.

Angela leaned back in her seat and took a sip of her tea, “So what do we do Rupert, Willow is doing well but… I don’t know how much longer she can continue in this state.”

“I have an idea.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy knocked on the door, when there was no answer she cracked it open just enough to peek in, “Tara,” she whispered, “I’ve got something for you to eat.”

“I’m n-not hungry.”

Buffy pushed the door open and entered the darkened room, “Tara I know I sound like my mother, but you’ve got to eat, come one I’ve just got some sandwiches here – Dawn made them for you.”

Buffy held her breath as she hoped the blonde would respond to her blatant manipulation.

“Dawn made the sandwiches?”

Buffy smiled, “Well she told me what you liked and I made them, so technically, Dawn’s responsible.”

Buffy breathed silent thanks when a bedside light came on and illuminated the room. She saw a fragile and pale Tara sitting in bed, with a faint smile, “Good for you Buffy, your mother’s manipulation tactics worked.”

The slayer smiled, came forward and placed the plate next to the bed, “Well it was either that or blend up the sandwiches and force feed you through a straw.”

Tara chuckled, “What was the final v-vote?”

Buffy fidgeted, “Three for the manipulation, one for the straw.”

“Anya offered to b-blend right?”

Buffy grinned, “She meant it in a kind and loving way.”

Tara laughed. “So what’s for dinner?”

Buffy motioned towards the plate, “A mushroom and eggplant sandwich, a tomato and avocado sandwich, with a sprinkle of cracked pepper, and an apple and cranberry juice.”

Unexpectedly Tara’s shoulders began to shake and she started to cry. Buffy sat down next to the blonde, “Tara, what is it?” She looked at the plate of food puzzled, “did we get something wrong?”

Tara sobbed harder. Buffy leaned in and took the blonde into her arms, she held her as she sobbed, tears running down her face, onto Buffy’s shirt. The slayer held her friend and ran her fingers through her hair until Tara’s sobbing started to slow.

Buffy lifted Tara’s head and stared into her swollen red eyes, “Did you want orange juice?” she asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

Tara laughed, and wiped at her tears, “Oh God Buffy, I’m sorry that was so silly…”

“No,” Buffy interrupted, “crying never silly.”

Tara smiled, “I was just suddenly c-completely overwhelmed, I mean n-no one has ever b-been this kind to me before, well except for Willow, and I was just, so happy and s-sad at the same time…” Tara looked at Buffy, “It’s been so hard n-not having her here, knowing that she’s safe.”

Buffy sighed and leaned back against the bedhead, “Yeah, it’s definitely weird without her around, God I miss her, but you know this is what she wanted, and no matter how much we hate it…”

“We’re supporting her, I know.” Tara sighed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow leaned back into the bathtub, resting in the bubbles, she closed her eyes and immediately her mind was flooded by thoughts of Tara.

Willow looked up as Tara disrobed, the redhead smiled as she watched the white robe slip to the floor, her eyes travelled slowly up her lover’s body, her long legs, smooth stomach, and full breasts. Finally her eyes met Tara’s sparkling blue orbs. “Hey sweetie,” she smiled down at the redhead.

“You going to join me?”

“You going make room for me?”

Willow laughed as she moved to allow her lover in the bath. Tara slipped into the warm water and slipped her legs either side of the redhead’s waist as she leaned back into the bath.

“Oh Baby.” Willow smiled as she ran her hands up and down her lover’s legs.

Tara laughed, “You’re incorrigible Willow.”

Willow bought Tara’s foot up to her mouth and gently kissed each toe, her eyes on her lover’s face. She caressed Tara’s foot and then took her big toe into her mouth and started to suck, swirling her tongue around the digit, pulling it in and out of her mouth. Tara gasped each time the redhead sucked on her toes, her hands gripping the side of the tub.

“Oh, Will, that’s um…” The blonde didn’t get to finish before Willow began sucking each of her toes, slipping her tongue between each digit before moving onto the next.

“Oh God,” Tara moaned leaning back letting her lover pleasure her, “that’s so good.”

Willow continued to suck and lick her lover’s toes, she then swapped feet and gave Tara’s other foot some attention. She watched Tara’s face as she suckled her flesh, the blonde was lying back into the bath, her mouth slightly open, eyes closed and her chest was heaving up and down. Despite the water Willow could feel her arousal, as her desire grew. As she kissed Tara’s toes her hands slid up and down the blonde’s long slender legs, caressing each muscle from her calf to her thigh.

Tara groaned and sat up, Willow released her legs as Tara pulled the redhead close.

“That was so sexy, I want you to come here,” Tara purred as she wrapped her legs around the redhead’s waist, causing water to overflow and splash on the tiled floor. They were now sitting face to face, Tara’s legs circling Willow, her pussy rubbing against the redhead’s stomach.

“Oh,” smiled Willow as Tara moved against her. Willow leaned in and took a nipple in her mouth, she nipped lightly and sucked until the nub was taut. Tara groaned and arched her back, pushing her breasts further into Willow’s mouth. The redhead moaned and massaged Tara’s breasts with both hands, her lips and tongue travelling up the blonde’s chest towards her neck. Tara’s arms wrapped around Willow’s shoulders, drawing her closer as she started to grind against her lover’s stomach. Willow smiled as she took the hint and slipped her hand down between Tara’s legs. They both groaned as Willow’s fingers slipped easily into her lover. Willow’s face rested against her girlfriends’ chest as she moved up and down on Willow’ fingers.

“Oh Willow...”

“Willow.”

“Willow - dear are you in there?”

The redhead was jolted out of her memory by the sound of rapping on the door.

“Uh yeah?”

“We’re back, would you like a cup of tea before bed?”

Willow closed her eyes and sighed, “Yes, thanks Angela, I’ll be out in a minute.”

As much as she wanted to continue her thoughts of Tara, Willow wanted to find out what was going to happen tomorrow when she met the rest of the coven.

Willow sipped her tea and watched Angela. The grey haired witch shuffled around the kitchen gathering herbs that she was going to need for the next day.

Angela sensed Willow’s anxiety. “There’s no need to be afraid,” she said as she rummaged through a kitchen drawer.

Willow smiled to herself, even though she’d only spent a week with Angela the witch was very perceptive and seemed to easily pick up on her emotions.

“Why not?” she replied staring into her tea, “they’re going to judge me, condemn me for the things I did.”

Angela stood up and returned to the table with a handful of dried herbs and containers. She pulled out a chair and sat opposite the redhead. She met Willow’s eyes.

“Yes, they will, and some will judge you harshly,” she paused, “some will understand your journey and judge you with compassion, and yet others will not judge you at all.”

She smiled at the redhead, “You’re not the only one to make a mistake young lady. Mistakes can be made in big cities, and in small towns, by young inexperienced witches, and by older more experienced witches who should know better.”

Willow nodded, “So some of the witches will understand?” she asked hopefully.

“I believe they will.”

Willow sighed and sipped her tea.

“But let me ask you this Willow,” Angela’s eyes were on Willow’s, “do you think any of them are able to judge you more harshly than you have judged yourself?”

“No,” whispered the redhead as tears welled in her eyes.

Angela reached out and grasped Willow’s hand. “Then what have you to fear?”

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I guess Giles' and Angela's plan is to send Tara to Willow...

[Poniac]

Lost Hope
Love feedback - have discovered that I'm a feedback junkie.....
PG-13 - Nothing but a little angst...

Zampasa1975 - Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave feedback

A small-ish update.....

Part 20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow woke to the sound of birds chattering in the darkness outside her window. She automatically reached out for her lover as she did every morning, and sighed when she remembered she was alone. She pulled the blankets over her head, hoping for a few more minutes before Angela would come to wake her.

She’d barely begun to gather her thoughts before she heard the familiar rapping on her bedroom door.

“I’m putting the kettle on Willow,” called out Angela as she headed towards the kitchen.

Willow threw the blankets off and climbed out of bed. She quickly dressed and headed to the kitchen to join Angela.

“Morning,” smiled Angela as she prepared a pot of tea.

“Morning,” replied Willow, “do you want a hand with anything?”

“No thanks, Neil’s going to be down shortly for breakfast and then we have time for meditation, and before long the rest of the coven will start arriving,” Angela pulled out some pots and pans, “you should have breakfast this morning Willow, it could be a long draining day for you.”

Willow’s eyebrows rose as she watched Angela, “Oh, um are they expecting me to do stuff, you know cast?”

Angela cracked some eggs into a pan, “It’s hard to tell, I’m the leader of the coven, but they will have their ideas on how to assist your – treatment.”

“Oh,” Willow fidgeted with the cutlery, “perhaps I can just have some toast?”

Willow jumped as she heard the front door slam, and heavy footsteps enter the kitchen.

“Sorry, did I scare you?” Neil asked as he sat down at the kitchen table.

“Um, just a little edgy today,” explained Willow.

The farmed smiled, “Ah, meeting the rest of the hags today are ya?” he smiled, “don’t worry, they’re a cranky old bunch but they’ll not harm you,” he winked at the redhead as he leaned in to whisper, “a bunch of old softies underneath.”

Angela smiled, “That’ll be enough Neil, here are your eggs,” she handed her husband a plate piled high with toast, eggs, tomatoes and mushrooms, “and for heaven’s sake please don’t refer to my coven as hags,” she chastised with a warm smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giles moved towards the kitchen counter as he spoke, “So you think it’s a good idea?”

Buffy grinned, “Giles, I think it’s a fabulous idea, it’s almost time for school to break and she’d be sitting around here with nothing to do and I can’t think of anything else better for her right now.”

She pulled the teapot down from the cupboard and filled it with leaf tea. “So how is Will going? What did Angela say?”

“Well apparently she’s surprised at how much power Willow has, and yet how little control she has over it.” He moved to reach for a cup. “But Willow is responding well to the basics, she believes with a bit more work Willow will have more than enough knowledge and understanding to control her own powers.”

Buffy poured tea into Giles’ waiting cup. “But she thinks that Willow would do better with Tara there, helping her?”

Giles sighed as he stirred his tea, “Yes, she believes that the uncertain status of their relationship is holding Willow back, unconsciously of course, but nonetheless Willow won’t be able to do her best whilst in this state.”

“She's not the ony one, there are times when Tara is so distracted she has trouble slinging a sentence together.” Buffy frowned, “Will you tell Willow?”

“No I don’t think so, I’d rather it were a surprise – for both their sakes.”

“So when do you think this will happen?”

Giles thought as she sipped his tea, “Well that depends an awful lot on what happens today.”

Buffy looked at the watcher, and tilted her head as she asked, “What happens today?”

Giles stared into his tea cup, trying to see a pattern in the tea leaves, “Today Willow meets the coven.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow squinted as she snuck a look around her. About ten women were seated in a circle each silent, head bowed with their hands in their lap. She knew she was supposed to be meditating but she couldn’t whilst she was surrounded by these strange women. She was surprised by the span in their ages, she’d expected them to be a lot older, but the youngest was probably only a few years older than her, and the oldest looked like she could have been in her seventies or eighties. Her stomach flip flopped at the thought of being judged by these women, some who’d clearly been practising for a very long time.

The woman to her right leaned in and whispered gently, “Willow dear, I don’t mean to intrude, but you are interrupting the flow of the circle, you need to concentrate – every one in the circle can feel your anxiety.”

Willow flushed, “Uh, sorry,” she whispered as she bowed her head and tried once again to settle.

Once the meditation circle had finished the women stood and entered the lounge room of the small cottage. Angela stood whilst the women took seats, Willow sat quietly in the corner. After a few moments Angela cleared her throat and began to speak.

“Good morning sisters,” she smiled and nodded at the group who smiled and nodded in return.

“I thank the blessed Goddess for allowing us to continue our work and for giving us her blessing.”

Each of the women nodded, and placed their palms together as a sign of thanks.

“Today we are here to provide assistance to a sister who has lost her way, and is finding her way back to the light.” She smiled and gave a small nod to Willow in the corner of the room.

Willow felt her face burn as each of the women turned to examine her closely.

Angela continued, “Sister Willow has faced many challenges in her short years, more so than any of us here.” She paused as some of the women muttered amongst them selves. Angela continued, “She has touched the darkness, but has returned to us for assistance, for she no longer wants any part of the darkness.”

“I open the floor for our sisters.” Angela sat down and turned to Willow, “Willow dear, the sisters may want to ask you some questions, please be as open and honest as you can.”

Willow shook as she nodded and turned to face the group.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first question came from the woman who was next to Willow during the meditation circle.

“Willow, I’m Catherine, could you please tell us about your family’s magical history and lineage?”

Willow blinked; she quickly glanced at Angela and back to Catherine, “Um, I don’t come from a magical family, I’m the only one.”

Catherine leaned forward and stared at Willow, “You mean to say that there are no other witches or warlocks in your family?”

“Uh, no, not that I’m aware of…”

Catherine frowned, “Well then dear, how did you know you were magically inclined?”

Willow smiled, “I just tried a few spells, and they worked.”

The women turned and spoke to each other in hushed tones. Willow looked at Angela who simply smiled and nodded.

A young witch at the back with long black hair called out, “How did you know where to look for spells?”

Before Willow could answer, Angela interrupted, “Bethany, please introduce yourself who Willow knows who to address.”

The black haired witch blushed, “Yes sister,” she added.

Willow smiled at the witch, “Bethany, I was friends with a slayer and I accessed some basic spell books in her watcher’s library.”

A tall woman at the back of the room leaned towards Willow, “A slayer, and her watcher? Are you telling us the truth young lady?”

Willow frowned, “Of course, Buffy, the slayer is my best friend, and Giles is her watcher.”

“Ruth,” Angela, “please introduce yourself, this is a very trying and confusing experience for Willow, it will help her if she knew who was tossing questions at her.”

Ruth scowled, “Yes, sister, my apologies.” She paused, not quite finished with her questions. “So you just picked up a spell book and did a spell without any assistance.”

“Well yes,” Willow looked around at the incredulous faces, “after a few I then had a friend Jenny help, she was a teacher at my school, into lots of stuff and spells and she was going to try to help me get into magic, but…” Willow frowned, “she was killed.”

“How?” asked Ruth.

“Vampire,” responded Willow.

The group descended into chaos, all the witches were talked to each other and looking at Willow with doubtful eyes. The redheaded witch turned to Angela, “What now?” she mouthed.

Angela stood, “Sisters!”

The group turned to Angela.

“I know that what Willow has said to you so far this morning to be the truth.” She looked around the room, “The slayers’ watcher is a friend of mine, and known to some of you. He has informed me that Willow is an integral part of the slayers team in Sunnydale and faces many threats daily, including demons and vampires, this is not in doubt.” Angela watched the faces of her witches, “Please can we focus on Willow’s use of magic.”

Angela sat down and nodded at Willow.

A short grey haired woman sitting on the sofa spoke next, “Good Morning Willow, I’m Sofia.” She smiled at Willow before continuing, “So I gather from what you’ve said to us this morning is that you’ve had no guidance with your magic use at all, that you’re self taught?”

“Ah, yes, until a few years ago when I met another witch, and she started to teach me some stuff, and we did some uh spells together.”

The tall witch at the back of the room spoke up again, “Willow, I’m Ruth,” she nodded at Angela, “Could you please tell us the most powerful spell you have performed.”

Willow’s eyes widened, and looked at Angela for guidance. She simply nodded.

Willow hesitated and watched the women before her regarding her with a mixture of interest and doubt. She took a shaky breath.

“A resurrection spell.”

Silence engulfed the women as her words echoed through the small room.

Ruth broke the silence. “The slayer?”

Willow nodded nervously.

“Thank you Willow,” said Ruth as she leaned back into the sofa carefully watching the redhead.

Angela stood, “Sisters, I fear this is a trying experience for Willow,” she looked at her charge, “please let’s take a small break, I’d like to speak with her for a few moments.”

The relief in Willow’s eyes shone through, she gave Angela a small smile. The women stood and filed out of the room into the kitchen to make cups of tea and talk about the morning’s events.

Angela sat down next to Willow. “How are you?”

“A bit freaked.”

“You know why they’re asking you these questions don’t you?”

Willow fidgeted avoiding Angela’s eyes, “I guess they want to know how powerful I am.”

“Yes,” Angela paused as she glanced towards the kitchen, “you know what you’ve just told them?”

Willow blinked, “Um, that I’m powerful?”

Angela shook her head and gave a sad smile, “Yes, but they now know that you’re more powerful than any of them can ever hope to be.”

Willow’s eyes widened, “Should I have lied? I mean I didn’t want to answer, but I don’t want to lie...”

Angela put her hand on Willow’s knee, “No Willow, I don’t think you should lie, ever,” she smiled, “it’s just that now they know how powerful you truly are there could be some nastiness, some jealousy.”

“Oh.”

“Willow dear, some of these women come from families who’ve been practicing for three, four, five generations of women, and they don’t have one tenth of the power that you do, and…”

“They’re going to feel resentful,” sighed the redhead as she slumped back into the couch, “that I got all this power, and not only don’t know how to use it, but use it for all the wrong things.”

“Yes, but maybe not for all the wrong things Willow, you’ve done some very good things, I know Rupert has told me of your good work.”

“Yeah – but…”

Angela interrupted, “Nonsense Willow, you may have come of the tracks a little, but before you were doing very good things with your magicks, don’t you forget that.”

Willow gave a small smile, “Thanks,” she looked around, “so what’s next?”

“Take a deep breath and try to remember why you’re here.”

“Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tara ducked as the fist flew past her left ear and connected with a jaw.

“Sorry,” called out Buffy as she followed through with a swift kick to a vampire’s face.

“No p-problem,” replied Tara as she turned to watch the slayer take on the demon, “I g-gotta learn to move faster,” she joked.

Buffy turned back to the blonde, brushing dust from her clothes, “We can’t all have super powers,” she laughed. “Well,” she looked around, “I think that five for the night is enough, shall we head back?”

“S-sure.”

The two walked side by side, both lost in their own thoughts. Buffy stole a glance at the blonde walking beside her. Tara had finally emerged from her bedroom, to join the slayer on patrol. She looked a little tired, and seemed very distracted, no doubt thinking about Willow.

Buffy cleared her throat, “It’s hard isn’t it?”

Tara turned to the slayer, “Sorry Buffy, what did you say?”

Buffy smiled, “I said it’s hard isn’t it.”

Tara wrapped her arms around herself, “It is, you too?”

“Yeah.”

They continued to walk in silence.

“I want us to be back together, as girl f-friends,” said Tara.

The slayer linked arms with the blonde, nodding for her to continue.

“We’ve been apart for t-too long, not jut physically, b-but emotionally,” she turned to the slayer, “it hurts more being apart than the reason we’re not together.”

Buffy smiled, “I think that’s wonderful – not that you hurt, but that you want to be together. I know that’s what Willow wants.”

“She does?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “You two are impossible, honestly, you both want the same thing – you just need to talk about it.”

Tara smirked, “It’s just w-we haven’t really had enough time together to r-reconnect and talk about it. It’s hard - we haven’t spoken since she’s b-been away, and I’ve had two e-mails,” the blonde sighed.

“Maybe you should think about going to see her?” Buffy carefully watched Tara’s reaction.

The blonde stopped walking and turned to the slayer, “You t-think I could do that?”

“Why not?”

Tara hesitated, “No, I couldn’t, I’d interrupt her t-training. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“What if I told you that it would help her training?”

Tara smiled at the slayer, “What are you up to?”

Buffy looked away, a small smile on her lips, “Nothing, I just thought that you might want to help Willow out with her training…”

Tara frowned, “Is s-she having t-trouble?”

“Oh no, Giles says that she’s doing well…”

“But…”

“She’d be doing better if the stuff between you two was sorted out…” Buffy paused and waited for Tara’s reaction.

“Oh, d-does Willow w-want me to c-come over?” Tara stammered.

“Tara, Willow doesn’t have any idea that Angela has suggested this.”

“Angela suggested that I come and be with Willow w-while she t-trains?”

The slayer nodded.

“Oh,” Tara hesitated, “When did t-they think I should go…”

“In a couple of weeks, maybe sooner.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A tall woman with long flowing white hair stood, “Willow, I am Anne, tell us what you did that was so bad that your slayer’s watcher sent you halfway across the world for our help?”

Willow frowned, “I… um did some things that hurt other people.”

“Did you kill anyone?”

“No! I would never do such a thing…” Willow stared angrily at the white haired witch.

“Then what is it girl – what did you do and who did you hurt?” goaded the witch.

“Come on isn’t this why you’re here, tell us your sins girl.”

Willow stared at the witch, she glanced at Angela for support but she calmly returned Willow’s gaze and gave her a gentle nod. Tears filled Willow’s eyes as she dragged her eyes back to the white haired witch.

“If you will give me courtesy of addressing me by my correct name,” said the redhead through clenched teeth, “I will tell you what I did.”

The white haired witch paused, “Of course Willow, my apologies, please continue.”

“I ignored my friends when they tried to help me,” Willow’s voice wavered, “I pushed them away, and I went to a sorcerer to get more power.” Tears dripped from her eyes as she continued, “I fought them when they tried to help me.” She wiped at her tears, her eyes locked on the white witch, “When my … girlfriend said I was using too much magic, I – I made her forget our arguments with magic - more than once.”

“I promised to stop but did another spell that wiped my friends memories and almost got them killed, and then when my girlfriend left me, I went on a binge doing spells all over the place until I ran out of energy. Instead of resting I then went to the sorcerer for more power.”

Willow paused to take a breath; she kept her eyes on the white haired witch while she gathered her thoughts. “But what I didn’t know was that the sorcerer wanted my power so he then juiced me full of his dark magicks and then hurt me. My friends then came to rescue me, they knew that the the sorcerer would hurt them, but they came anyway and took me home. They then found someone who could take the dark magicks from me and nursed me back to health.”

“And just to end this discussion I asked to come here to work on my problem, I wasn’t sent anywhere.” Willow crossed her arms and stared at the rest of the group.

“Now if you don’t mind, I need a few minutes alone.” Willow nodded at Angela and walked through the kitchen out to the garden.

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I really hope that the coven hags don't come up with some stuff that is going to hurt Wilow in the long run... I hope that Tara very very soon is there to help Willow...

[arsyadriani]

can't wait for Tara at Willow's side during the training and interogation part
so more pleaseee
RC

[Poniac]

a teaser....
From: tm@hotmail.com
To: wr@hotmail.com
Time: 0845
Subject: Day 9

Hi Willow

Thanks for your last e-mail, it was really nice to hear from you. ☺

I think you’re being very hard on your self. You are not a delinquent; you are a beautiful, smart, loving and kind woman. You made a mistake, and you have paid a very high price for that mistake. I really wish you would trust me on this.

Actually there’s something I want to talk to you about, but e-mail’s so impersonal so next time you’re in town could you give me a call when you have time. Buffy said it’s okay for you to reverse the charges – she said she’d love to hear your voice.

As for the rest of the gang, they’re all fine, a bit lost without their favourite redhead, but they know you’re doing well and can’t wait for you do finish up there and get home as soon as you can.

I miss you a lot Will, and I can’t wait to hear your voice.

Your Tara xx

[Poniac]

Lost Hope

Love feedback - have discovered that I'm a feedback junkie.....

PG-13 - Nothing but a little angst...

Zampasa1975 - The Coven mean well - it's just that Willow's in a bad place.
arsyadriani - They're on their way - not much longer

Part 21 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruth stood at the kitchen window and watched as Willow paced the cottage garden, she turned to Angela.

“She’s powerful,” she stated, more to herself than Angela.

Angela poured tea into three cups. “Yes she is, surprisingly so – at least for someone without a family history of magic.”

Ruth nodded absentmindedly, “Are you sure she’s telling the truth?”

“Yes, as far as she knows there’s no family history of magic,” Angela paused, “of course there is the possibility that she does some family power, but we’ve no way of finding out. Rupert has looked into it, but there’s nothing obvious.”

Ruth turned to Angela and picked up her teacup, “I suppose it doesn’t really matter does it? We’ve got to deal with the present.”

Angela watched Willow in the garden, “You know Ruth she really is a delightful young woman who’s just found herself in a bad place.”

“Well, how are we going to help her?”

Angela sighed, “Well you and Ellie are going to have to continue playing the devil’s advocate for just a little longer. We need to see how she reacts under pressure, and I’m afraid it’s up to you two to put her under that pressure. I can’t, I’m here to support her and need to be her advocate.”

The white haired witch wandered into the kitchen and placed a kiss on Ruth’s cheek. “What was that I heard about pressure?” she asked as she reached for her cup.

“Sorry sweetheart, but we’re going to have to keep up the pressure on Willow for just a little longer,” Ruth smiled as she pulled her partner closer.

Ellie chuckled, “Fine, I don’t mind playing bad cop, as long as when this is over someone explains to her that we’re just doing our job!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angela ventured out into the garden; Willow was seated on a bench overlooking a small vegetable patch.

Angela sat down next to her.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” replied Willow.

“We should get back inside soon.”

Willow sighed and hung her head, “Why? I mean they all know the stuff that I did, why go in there for more humiliation?”

“Willow, asking you these questions and testing you will give them an idea of how to help you,” Angela wrapped her arm around the redhead, “they need to see how you react and respond, they need to see how they can help.”

The redhead didn’t answer.

“I know this is hard Willow, but please trust me, I’m here to help you, and this is the best way to do that.”

Willow looked into Angela’s kind eyes. She sighed, “Okay, but this is the last session, I mean I can admit to my mistakes, but I don’t need to be reminded of them every minute.”

Angela stood, “I’m sorry this is tough on you Willow, but I think that dwelling on your mistakes is precisely what you should be doing now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Willow entered the room she noticed that the white haired witch was standing at the front of the room. Willow sat in the chair and turned to the witch.

“Willow, I think it’s time you showed us a little of your power.”

“You want to test me?” asked the redhead.

Ellie met Willow’s eyes.

“Yes.”

“You want to see what I can do?”

“Yes.”

“Fine, tell me what you want,” snapped Willow, her nerves fraying.

“Willow…” warned Angela, “please … remember our discussion – and our lessons.”

The redhead took a deep breath and closed her eyes. In that second her mind was flooded with thoughts and images of Tara, smiling, laughing and holding her arms out for the redhead. Willow smiled and allowed the thoughts to comfort and calm her.

She opened her eyes, “Sorry Angela,” she smiled at the older witch. She turned to the white haired witch, “I’m sorry for snapping, what would you like me to do?”

Ellie smiled, “Thank you Willow – I understand that this experience is trying for you. I’d like you to please do a few simple spells starting with levitating this feather.”

Willow spent the rest of the afternoon performing a number of spells, showing the coven her abilities, and talking them through some of the spells she’d performed whilst using dark magicks.

It was late when Angela watched as the women shuffled out of her cottage and into the dark. She turned and returned to Willow who was sitting at the kitchen table. The redhead sat quietly at the table, examining her hands whilst Angela started preparing dinner. Angela waited for Willow to speak, she didn’t want to push the young witch, and clearly she was buried in her own thoughts. Angela was busy adding vegetables to the soup when she was startled by Willow’s voice.

“I want to go home.”

She looked around to see Willow staring right back at her, her eyes red rimmed, her face drawn. Angela paused, put the lid on the soup and sat down next to Willow.

“You’re free to go anytime Willow, you know that. But can I ask you why?”

“I miss her too much. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be without her – it’s too hard – I…I need to know where we stand.” Willow’s shoulders started to shake as she cried.

Angela nodded, “I understand.” She sat with the redhead for a few moments until her crying subsided. “You’re tired, it’s been a long emotional day, you’re exhausted.”

Willow nodded as she wiped away her tears.

Angela wrapped her arm around the redhead, “How about you hop into bed, I’ll bring you some soup and we can talk about this in the morning.”

Willow simply nodded and pushed the chair back as she stood up from the kitchen table.

“Thank you,” she whispered as she shuffled towards the bedroom.

Angela frowned as she watched the redhead slowly climb the stairs to her bedroom. She turned back to the stove and stirred the soup as she thought about the redhead.

“Sweetheart I’m back,” Neil called out as he came through the kitchen door.

“Neil, don’t take those shoes off – I have a errand for you to run,” Angela called out as she fumbled through the kitchen drawers for a pen and paper.

“What’s wrong? It’s late for an errand.” Her husband stood at the door patiently waiting for further instructions.

Angela held up her hand, “Just one second love,” she scribbled on the notepaper for a few moments. The witch stood up and folded the paper into an envelope.

“I’m sorry darling could you please run this over to Ellie and Ruth’s, they’ll know what to do.”

Neil looked at his wife, “It’s Willow isnt’ it? How tough were they today? Is she alright?”

Angela smiled as she pulled her husband into a tight hug, “You are a sweet man,” she kissed him on the cheek. “Willow is tired and upset, but I think she’ll be okay. I just need you to get this message to Ellie and Ruth.”

Neil smiled, “No problem love, I’ll be back soon.”

Angela knocked on the bedroom door, “Willow, I’ve got your soup.”

“Come in.”

Angela pushed the door open and entered the room. Willow was sitting on her bed in her pyjamas, clutching a small velvet bag. Angela placed the tray down on the bedside table and sat down next to the redhead. Willow stuffed the bag under the pillow.

“Hey – how are you feeling?”

“Tired,” admitted Willow.

“You still want to go home?”

Willow nodded, “But…”

Angela smiled, “But… you want to finish what you came here to do…”

“Yeah – I’m stubborn like that,” smirked the redhead, “and Tara would be disappointed if I didn’t finish…”

“I’m glad to hear that you’re staying – I know today was rough.”

“Yeah it was, I just felt like I was being judged and I didn’t like what they thought.”

Angela frowned, “But Willow, you don’t know what they thought – I’m not even sure what they thought.”

“I guess.”

Angela stood up, “As you had quite a tough day today I think you deserve a rest tomorrow. How about tomorrow you have a bit of a sleep in and then we’ll go into town for a spot of lunch. I can shop and you can use the time to check your e-mails.”

A smile spread across Willow’s face, “I’d like that.”

“I thought you would, you deserve it – you did well today.”

“I did?”

Angela grinned at the redhead, “Yes you did, so now you should eat your soup and get a good night’s rest.” She picked up the tray and placed it in front of the redhead, “I’ll be back for the tray in a little while.”

After the door closed, Willow pulled out the velvet pouch from under her pillow. She pulled the drawstring, and tipped the pouch upside down. A white gold pendant tumbled into Willow’s palm. She sat staring at the pendant, occasionally rubbing it with her thumb.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neil knocked on the door once again, unsure if the witches had heard the first time.

The door quickly swung open.

“Neil!” Ellie stepped towards him, “Is everything ok?” She looked behind him to see if Angela accompanied him.

The farmer smiled, “Evening Ellie, Angela asked me to give this to you.” He pulled a wrinkled envelope out from his jacket pocket and passed it to the white haired witch.

Ellie took the envelope, “Come on in Neil it’s freezing out there, is Angela okay?”

“She’s fine,” replied Neil wiping his boots on the mat. He followed Ellie through the narrow hall into a small, cosy lounge room.

Ellie waved at a chair, “Neil sit down, I’ll get Ruth, she’s making tea, would like some?”

“Thanks – I’d love a cup.”

Neil sat whilst he watched Ellie and Ruth read the note. The exchanged glances and nodded.

“It’s about Willow isn’t it?” asked Neil as he watched the witches. “I hope you weren’t too tough on her today – she’s just a child.”

Ruth stood, “Yes, but she’s a very dangerous child. A loaded weapon waiting to go off.”

Neil stood, “Well I trust you ladies know what you’re doing,” he sipped the last of his tea, “she’s a lovely lass, we’ve both become very attached to her.”

Ellie stood and walked Neil to the door, “We were very gentle today Neil, she would have found a very trying experience though.”

“Right, then, thanks Ruth, Ellie.”

“Night Neil, give our best to Angela.”

Ellie waved and closed the door behind the farmer.

She returned to Ruth in the lounge room. “So what do you think?”

Ruth picked up the phone and dialled, “I think we give her the best opportunity to get through this – and I think Angela is right, she needs her here.”

“Rupert – it’s Ruth.”

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I hope Willow very very soon has Tara on her arms...

[Poniac]

Lost Hope

Love feedback - so the more the better - and thanks to all the kittens for being so friendly and supportive so far.

PG 13 - Nothing too problematic!

Zampasa1975 - Thanks for reading, they're on their way to reconnecting.

A small-ish update -

Part 21 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy knocked on the bedroom door.

“Come in.”

Buffy entered the room, Tara was sitting on the edge of the bed pulling on a pair of sneakers.

“Hey, what are you up to?”

Tara stood, “Nervous energy, I was just gonna take a w-walk, you know burn off some of the anxiety.”

Buffy grinned, “No time for that my witchy friend…you have a plane to catch.”

Tara’s jaw dropped, she stared at the slayer, “What?”

“Giles called me this morning, he’s booked you on the lunchtime flight to London.”

The blonde witch blinked.

“Tara, snap out of it, you’re going to London, you’ve got to pack!”

“What? Why now? Is Willow okay?”

Buffy hesitated.

“Oh God B-Buffy what happened, is she hurt? Did she hurt someone?” Tara’s knees gave way and she sat down on the edge of the bed.

Buffy sat next to her, “No, nothing like that Tara. She met the coven yesterday…”

“It didn’t go well?”

“Giles said that she did very well, responded well to their questions and did all the spells they asked her to perform.”

Tara breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank the Goddess.”

“But…”

“B-But, there’s a but?”

Buffy smiled, “Yes, apparently Angela is worried that the strain is getting too much for Willow and she thinks that she needs to work things out with you sooner rather than later.”

Tara sighed, “She’s hurting.”

“Yeah – pretty bad.”

“So I’d b-better pack then.” Tara stood and gave Buffy a big hug, “Thanks so m-much Buffy, you’re a great friend.”

The slayer held Tara tight, “So are you.” She pulled away, “Now get packing I’m dropping you at the airport in two hours.”

A slow smile spread across Tara’s face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow sat beside Angela as they drove towards town. She stared out the window watching the seemingly never-ending acres of fields pass. She was jolted out of her thoughts as the truck bounced over a number of pot holes.

“Sorry,” said Angela as she steered through the rest of the potholes, “honestly the council needs to fill up some of these holes, they’re big enough to lose a small child in…” she grumbled.

Willow smiled, “Thanks by the way.”

Angela glanced at the redhead, “What for dear?”

“Giving me a day out,” she smiled back at the older witch, “you know I want to check in with Tara.”

Angela’s lips upturned slightly, “It will be good for you, and I dare say she’s waiting with bated breath for every contact.”

Willow blushed, “I hope so.” Her eyes returned to the scenery outside, “Angela, I’m um sorry for yesterday.”

“What about yesterday?”

“I um, well you were right, - I should be dwelling on my mistakes, it’s just that I don’t like to look at that part of me…”

Angela slowed the truck, until they came to a stop.

She turned to the redhead, “Willow, what I meant was that you should be thinking about what caused you to take up the dark magicks, not what you did afterwards. You’ve punished your self enough for that, but in order to not make the same mistakes again you’ve got to know what caused you to take that step.”

Willow’s eyes filled with tears as she continued to stare out the window, “That’s harder,” she whispered.

Angela put the truck into motion, and steered it down the dirt track, “Yes it is.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tara watched as Sunnydale retreated into the distance. She sighed and rested back into the seat. It was going to be a long flight. Her eyes roamed around the cabin, she was clearly on the business flight, the compartment full of men and women in suits, not a small crying child to be seen.

The hostess approached, “Miss would you like anything?”

Tara smiled, “Just a water thanks.”

A voice from her left called out, “I’ll have a whiskey thanks,” the gentleman leaned over Tara and reached for the drink. He smiled at the blonde witch, “Hey, my name’s Dan, I guess we’re stuck with each other for a while.”

“Hi – I’m T-Tara.”

Dan looked up at the hostess, “Actually I’ll have two whiskeys,” he turned to wink at his neighbour.

Tara sighed and rested back into the seat. It was going to be a long flight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow gathered the change from the shopkeeper with a smile and looked around for the nearest payphone. Spying one at the end of the street she swiftly walked the distance, excited about the prospect of speaking to Tara. She picked up the receiver and deposited the coins. Her fingers shook as she carefully dialled the number and waited. She frowned as the call rang out and the coins dumped out into the receptacle.

She dialled the number again, this time saying it out loud so that she was sure to dial the right number. It rang out once again. Clearly no one was at Buffy’s. Checking her watch she did a quick mental calculation it should be late afternoon, there was no reason Tara wouldn’t be waiting for her call.

Sighing she dialled the number again, but the result was the same, the coins dumped out into the receptacle.

“She must be out,” the redhead grumbled to herself as she collected the coins and returned them to her pocket. Willow turned and retraced her steps back to the café to wait for Angela.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: wr@hotmail.com
To: tm@hotmail.com
Time: 0855
Subject: Missed You

Tara

Thanks for your e-mail, I went to call you this morning but you must be out. So I guess I’ll try again a bit later. I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to call again.

Well yesterday I met the rest of the coven. Tara it was so hard. I kept thinking what they must think of me – I have all this power and no idea how to manage it properly. Angela said some of them would be jealous that I had power that they don’t have, but I mean how can they blame me for that?

A couple of the witches were a bit, well, rude – they kept pushing me to tell them what spells I’ve done, how I did them, what it felt like. By the end of the day I was exhausted, and a bit cranky. I snapped at them once or twice, but you’d be proud of me I kept my temper, I thought of my lessons with Angela and I thought about you. That kept me calm.

I’m so disappointed that I missed talking to you ☹

Well I suppose I had better go, Angela will be back soon and we’re going back to the farm. Today she wants me to help her do some work in the garden with her herbs. Get to know them, which are good and bad, when to use them. You should be here, you'd love doing that, and I bet you could teach Angela a thing or two!

Anyway I better go, I miss you a lot Tara. I have got some stuff that I want to talk to you about too. Hopefully we catch each other up soon ☺

I miss you a lot too ☺

Your Willow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angela joined Willow at the café.

“How did you go dear? Did you get an e-mail from your Tara?” she asked.

Willow frowned, “I got an e-mail from her, she said she wanted to talk to me but when I called no-one was home.”

Angela paused, “Oh…well perhaps she’s just out running a few errands, bad timing perhaps?”

Willow sighed, “Yeah but we don’t get into town often, so if I don’t get her today then, it’s going to be a while before I can talk to her.”

“Well I have good news, we have a houseguest in the next couple of days, so I have to come into town tomorrow to … pick up a few things.”

Angela sipped her tea; “I guess you can try to call Tara again tomorrow.”

Willow smiled, “Tomorrow, that’s great,” she frowned, “it won’t interrupt our training will it?”

Angela reached out and grasped Willow’s hand, “No, I think we can spare the time for this.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow chopped carrots as Angela peeled potatoes.

“Angela, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“How long have you and Neil been married?”

Angela smiled, “Fifteen years.”

“Oh…”

“You thought it would be longer?”

Willow shrugged, “Well … um you seem very comfortable together, and I just wondered how long you’ve been, you know together.”

Angela stood and walked to the stove, adding potatoes to the saucepan and stirring. She turned, wiping her hands on a tablecloth, “Willow, I had a lover before Neil. We were together from my late teens until I was about thirty years old.”

“Oh,” Willow stared at the vegetables in front of her, not sure what to say.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Angela smiled, “my lover passed, and a few years later I met Neil.”

“I’m sorry,” Willow looked at the older witch, “that must have been very difficult.”

Angela sighed, “It was at the time, and sometimes still… but I have my memories of Hannah.”

“H-Hannah?” Willow’s eyebrows raised as she stared at Angela.

The older witch chuckled, “Yes, Hannah, my first love.”

“Oh, wow, I didn’t realise…”

Angela smiled at the redhead, “It’s along story, but Hannah was the first and only woman I ever loved, and we spent many happy years together.”

“But Neil…” Willow paused, unsure if she should continue.

“Neil is the first and only every man I’ve ever loved, and we have spent many happy years together, thank the Goddess,” she stood and turned to the stove, “and I hope that we have many more together.”

Willow decided to change the topic, “So who’s coming for dinner, are they the houseguest?”

“No, Ruth and Ellie are our dinner guests, and tomorrow we shall be picking up our guest from town first thing in the morning.”

Willow scrunched up her face, “Ruth and Ellie?”

“From the coven.”

Willow’s eyebrows shot up, “Oh, the witches, the tall one and the one with white hair?”

“Yes.”

Willow frowned, crossing her arms, “They’re coming to dinner? Is it another test?”

Angela smiled, and petted Willow on the arm, “No dear, not at all, they are our friends, and we have a standing weekly dinner together – we missed last week because you had just arrived.”

“Oh,” Willow’s eyes returned to her hands on the table. She examined her fingers, her nails, her skin as she thought about the two women who had been perhaps her harshest inquisitors the previous day.

“So you’re friends then?” she asked.

“Yes, we’ve been friends for a very long time.”

“So you trust them?”

“I do.”

[tarawillow<3]

wow!
Can't wait to see ( well read) Willow's face when she sees Tara
^^ cant wait for more

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for good update-y goodness... Too bad Angela had to lie to Willow about why Tara wasn't there to answer the phone... But I bet Willow would be very pleased when she has Tara in her arms... I hope there will be ...

[arsyadriani]

I want when they finally see each other..well..maybe not kiss..but, hug? big hug? big loving and long hug?
more pleeaseee
RC

[Poniac]

Lost Hope

Love feedback - so the more the better - and thanks to all the kittens for being so friendly and supportive so far.

PG 13 - Nothing too problematic!

Zampasa1975 - A little white lie can be forgiven I think when Willow realises what she was hiding....

arsyadriani - thanks for reading. we all love a little (or a lot) of but you will have to wait just a little longer Hugs, well we can have plenty of those!

tarawillow<3 - so close, so close

A small-ish update -

Part 22 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Willow answered the door with a smile, “Good evening Ruth, Ellie,” she ushered the women into the cottage.

The older witches smiled at Willow, “Good evening Willow, how are you?”

“Good thanks,” she took their coats and led her visitors through to the kitchen, “Angela is setting the dining table, she’ll be back in a moment,” she motioned for the women to sit at the kitchen table, “would you like a drink?”

Both women nodded.

“We have red wine, white wine, or water, juice, tea…”

“Red thanks,” the women replied in unison.

Willow busied herself corking the wine and finding the glasses.

“How did you go after yesterday Willow?” asked Ellie.

“Um, okay I guess, tired … you know it was draining.” Willow poured two glasses of red and handed to the women.

“You must have been exhausted,” added Ruth taking a sip from her glass.

Willow poured herself a juice and sat down at the table, “Yeah, I pretty much fell asleep as soon as I climbed into bed.”

“So what did you work on with Angela today?” asked Ruth.

“We went into town this morning, but this afternoon I helped Angela in the garden, we did some work picking and preserving herbs.” Willow smiled, “I actually really like that part – learning about the herbs and their uses, how to preserve and store them. Plus my hands smell all nice now,” she added.

“You did a good job,” Angela smiled at the redhead as she entered the kitchen. She reached out for her visitors who stood as she entered the room. She leaned in and kissed each visitor on the cheek, “How are we both today?”

The women sat back down, Ruth leaned back in her chair and took a sip of her wine, “Willow seems to enjoy cultivating your herb garden Angela, is that all you have the young girl doing?”

“Well apart from developing quite the green thumb Willow is becoming very knowledgeable about what herbs will be useful to her and how to use them.” Angela gave Willow an encouraging smile.

Ruth persisted, “So what are you teaching her to actually improve her ability to control her magicks?”

Angela avoided Ruth’s eyes, “Well we’ve been concentrating on how to focus her energy, how to keep her balance, how to meditate and ground herself.”

Ellie leaned forward, “Have you tested her yet?”

Willow snapped, “I’m sitting right here! Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!”

Angela rested her hand on Willow’s forearm, “She’s not at that point yet, but we’ll be doing some testing of her new skills next week.”

Willow looked up at the witch, “We will?”

“Yes, we will, but it’s nothing for you to worry about right now.”

“Oh – okay.”

Angela checked the soup, “Right, the soup is ready, Willow could you please go out to the shed an let Neil know dinner is ready.”

“Sure,” Willow stood and headed out to the barn to find Neil.

Angela turned to Ellie, “That was a little pointed!”

“Yeah – I’m sorry Angela, but I’m trying to keep up the façade, and it’s very difficult, she just looks so sad I want to give her a big hug.”

Ruth chuckled, “Not too big a hug I trust.”

Ellie smirked, “She’s old enough to be my daughter and then some Ruth!”

Angela laughed, “You two stop squabbling, lets go and have a nice dinner, and put talk of magicks aside for the evening.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tara’s eyes fluttered open as the bus came to a stop. She looked at her watch, 0725 another hour before she would arrive at Wick. She sighed and leaned back against the headrest, it had been a long journey and she was exhausted.

She smiled to herself, exhausted, but excited, her stomach flip-flopped, she was going to see Willow soon, her Willow. Her eyes sparkled as she watched the endless acres of fields pass by, every acre bringing her closer to Willow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow lay in bed staring at the ceiling, her thoughts tumbling over each other. The morning light streamed through the small gap in the curtains, she leaned over and checked the clock, 0725.

“Crap,” she muttered as she threw the blankets back and sat on the edge of the bed. She’d been awake since the sun rose an hour earlier, her mind on the previous evening’s dinner.

She couldn’t figure out the two witches, one minute they were prying and poking at her, asking about her friends and family the next they were offering to take her into town for a movie and shopping.

She shuffled into the bathroom, she was going to be meeting the new house guest this morning, she chuckled to herself as she looked in the mirror, she didn’t want to meet anyone with a bad case of bed hair.

As Willow showered and towelled herself dry she wondered about the houseguest, Angela hadn’t told her anything about the guest. She didn’t know if they were man, woman, young, old, where they had come from or even why they were staying.

She was pulling on her shoes when she heard Angela knock on the door and call out, “Breakfast Willow, we’d best be on our way soon.”

“I’ll be down in a minute,” she called out as she buttoned her jeans and checked herself in the mirror.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tara breathed a sigh of relief as the bus pulled to a stop. The last hour had been excruciating, every mile causing her stomach to twist and turn. She watched as the passengers pulled their luggage from the overhead racks and made their way to the front of the bus. She smiled at each one as they shuffled past, she wasn’t in any rush, she knew that Willow and Angela would be waiting for her when she stepped off the bus.

The blonde took a deep breath and steadied herself as she stood and reached for her bags. She pulled her luggage from the overhead compartment and dragged them up the aisle and down the bus stairs. The bus driver followed her and opened the luggage door on the side of the bus. He reached forward and pulled out a large blue suitcase.

“Here you go lass,” he smiled as he handed her the bag.

“Thanks,” she smiled up at the driver.

He tipped his hat and climbed back into the bus.

He revved the engine, closed the doors and the bus slowly pulled away from the kerb.

As the bus cleared her view she looked across the road.

Her heart pounded, and she smiled widely.

“Willow,” she whispered as she recognised the red-haired woman standing at the kerb across the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow shifted uncomfortably in her seat as the truck bounced over a number of pot-holes.

“Sorry,” said Angela as she steered through the rest of the potholes, “honestly the council needs to fill up some of these holes, they’re big enough to lose a small child in…” she grumbled.

Willow grinned to herself, she was used to Angela’s rumblings about the state of the counties’ roads.

“Angela?”

“Willow?”

“Who’s this house guest, a friend of yours?”

Angela tried not to smile as she focussed on the road, “Uh, not as such.”

“Oh, soooo is she here for the same reason I am?” pushed a curious Willow.

“Not quite, she needs help, that’s true, but…” Angela paused as she swung the steering wheel around and steered the truck around a large hole in the ground.

“Bollocks!” she muttered as she slowed the truck to a halt.

Willow looked up, “Sheep?”

“Yes, Roger is moving them from one paddock to another, but honestly this is the worst timing ever.”

Angela leaned out the window, “Good morning Roger!”

The old gentleman walking behind the sheep tipped his hat and nodded at the witch.

“Roger, I’ve got to get through, can you create a gap for us?”

“Right love, no worries,” he called out as he sent his dogs to clear the road.

Willow and Angela waved as they drove slowly through the space created for them, and sped up as they got further from the farmer and his sheep.

“So, you were saying?”

“Oh – yes the young lass needs some help, but primarily she’s here to help someone else.”

Willow frowned, “She’s staying with you to help someone else?”

“Yes.”

Willow’s mind raced, she couldn’t think of anyone else the woman would be here to help. She looked at Angela, “Is she here to help me?”

Angela slowed the truck to pull into a parking lot, “Yes, in a way.” She pulled the keys from the ignition and looked at the redhead.

“Right, we’re here, just in time. You coming or do you want to wait here?”

Willow grinned, “I’m coming, then I’m going to try to call Tara again.” She unclipped her seat belt and opened the car door.

Willow walked along the street with Angela, “Where are we going?”

“Bus stop.”

“Oh – I know where that is,” smiled Willow as her eyes searched out the bus depot at the end of the street.

The walked until they were standing directly across from the bus stop.

Angela paused looking around, “I hope we’re on time.”

Willow looked around, “I don’t know what to look for, what does she look like?”

When Angela didn’t respond Willow looked back to the bus stop. The bus was pulling away from the kerb. As it drove off one person remained standing at the kerb, a tall blonde woman, standing next to a blue bag, with a wide smile.

Angela grinned, “She looks just like that.”

Willow squinted, “She….”

Her heart pounded, as her mind fought with her eyes.

She quickly glanced at Angela who was smiling at her indulgently.

Her eyes snapped back to the woman on the kerb, “I…”

“T-T-Tara?”

[tarawillow<3]

yay ^^ ^^ ^^
n.n n.n n.n
wooow
Tara <333 willow <333 tara <333 willow <333

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I hope there is a huge hug fest comming...

[arsyadriani]

you know..I can wait a little bit more if you promise me there's a huge WillowTara Loving for the next updates
and mischievous Angela what a surprise u did get for Willow
I would love some more
RC

[HushMeNot]

Pretty good for a first story. I am finishing the first two chapters of a story and I hope to post it soon. Maybe it will be as good as yours.

[paranormalness90]

yay! they are finally together again
well i mean kinda
they are across the street, in the same country kinda together
can't wait for the next update
awesome story

[Poniac]

Lost Hope

Love feedback - so the more the better - and thanks to all the kittens for being so friendly and supportive so far.

PG 13 - Nothing too problematic!

tarawillow<3 - i assume that means you like?

Zampasa1975 - one hug-fest coming up!

arsyadriani - sorry to make you wait so long - but we've at least got a little W/T loving coming our way this update. Hope that's enough to get you through

HushMeNot - thanks. it's been a great experience and i hope that my writing has improved since i began. i find that the feedback has been very helpful and everyone has been very encouraging.

paranormalness90 - thanks it's nice to have them back together in the same place. they have some work to do yet - but they're heading in the right direction. thanks for reading.

A small-ish update -

Part 23 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“T-T-Tara?”

Willow blinked.

Tara.

Tara was still standing there – at the bus stop in the main street of Wick.

Willow’s mind raced as it ran through the possibilities – the chance that her mind was playing a cruel trick, the chance that she was still asleep tucked up in her cosy bed, the chance she was sucked into an alternate universe. She shook her head, 'No' she decided this was real.

Willow’s heart pounded so hard she could hear the blood rushing through her ears. She focussed on Tara. Her long blonde hair shining in the morning sun, draped gracefully over her shoulders. She wore a long sleeve v-neck green shirt, over a long flowing black skirt, with her customary heavy black boots.

She blinked again.

She watched as the blonde picked up her bags and slowly crossed the road.

With every step Tara took, Willow’s heart pounded harder. She remained unable to move, her body paralysed, her eyes on Tara as it took her a hundred years to cross the road.

Tara trembled as she slowly paced across the road, her heart pounding with every step, her eyes never leaving the redhead. Finally she stood, smiling in front of Willow.

They both stared at each other for a moment.

Willow’s frown faded, as her face broke into a wide smile.

“Tara?” she whispered.

“Hey,” smiled the blonde.

“Oh my God,” Willow finally reacted, throwing her arms around the blonde in a tight hug, they pulled each other close for a few moments. Willow clung to Tara she felt the blonde tremble in her arms.

Eventually Willow pulled away and looked at the woman she had missed so much.

“How…why…?’

Tara simply smiled at the redhead.

Willow continued, ‘I’m so glad to see you…I called you, but you weren’t there, and then I was going to call you this morning cause we had to come into town because we had to pick up a house guest and I … and…” Willow frowned.

She turned to Angela, “Tara’s our houseguest?”

“Yes,” Angela stepped forward, and grasped Tara’s hand, “Tara, it’s lovely to finally meet you, I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you from Willow.”

Willow blushed, “Oh, sorry I was so … surprised I should have introduced you.”

Tara smiled, “Sweetie, don’t worry, Angela, it’s nice to finally m-meet you. T-thank-you for the invitation.”

“You invited her?” Willow stared open mouthed at the older witch.

Angela nodded.

“You arranged this?”

“With Giles’ help, yes I arranged for Tara to travel here to be with you.”

“Wow.” Willow stared at the older witch. She frowned, “You knew?”

“Knew what Willow?”

“Knew yesterday that she wasn’t going to be home and you knew yesterday when you said we had to come into town to pick up a guest…” Willow paused as her mind caught up with events.

Angela smiled and rested a hand on the redhead’s shoulder, “Willow – how about we go to the café and have a nice up of tea, you will have a chance to ask as many questions as you want.”

Willow grinned at the blonde, “I’ll take your bags,” the redhead picked up Tara’s bag and carried it for her as they headed to the coffee shop.

The redhead turned towards Angela, she leaned, in and whispered, “Thank-you.”

Angela smiled as she watched Willow walk alongside Tara, her eyes never leaving the blonde.

Tara bounced as she noticed redhead literally skip down the street to the coffee shop. She couldn’t suppress a smile, as she realised Willow was as happy to see her as she was to see the redhead.

Willow opened the door for Tara and Angela and they found a table close to the window. They sat silently staring at each other for a moment. Willow stared at the blonde, “I still can’t believe it’s you…” she reached up and gently brushed her fingers across Tara’s cheek, “it’s like a dream,” she whispered.

As soon as Willow’s fingers brushed across her cheek Tara flinched as a jolt of electricity flowed between them.

Willow quickly pulled her hand back, her face flushing a bright red, “Uh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, it’s too soon…I shouldn’t have thought that just… I am so happy…”

Tara grabbed her hand, “No, Will, it’s n-not that,” she smiled at the redhead, “you just… have an effect on me,” she held the redhead’s hand and kissed her knuckles one by one.

Willow flushed a deep shade of red.

Angela grinned, sensing the two needed a few moments together, she stood “Excuse me for just a moment, I see a friend over there, I might just pop over and say hello.”

Tara and Willow politely nodded, “Okay,” they responded their eyes never leaving each other.

Angela chuckled to herself as she left the table unnoticed.

Willow smiled, “I… I can’t believe that you’re here.”

“Neither c-can I, it’s a bit s-surreal.” Tara squeezed the warm hands holding hers.

‘Yesterday morning I was putting on my shoes ready to go for a walk the next m-minute Buffy is in my room waving her arms and t-talking about getting me to the airport on time.” Tara giggled at the memory.

“Next thing I know, I’m packing my b-bags, Buffy is driving me to the airport," Tara paused, frowning.

"Which m-might I add while I remember, we’re getting a taxi back from the airport when we go home..." she focussed back on the redhead, "and before I know it I’m here staring into your b-beautiful green eyes.” Tara blushed as she finished the sentence.

The redhead grinned, “Willow babble.”

Tara laughed, “It’s contagious.”

“Tara, I …” Willow cleared her throat.

Willow’s eyes as she reached out for Tara’s hand, “I missed you so much…” she paused as tears welled in her eyes and trickled down her cheek, “I almost quit, I almost went home.” She looked away from the blonde.

Tara reached up and brushed the tear from Willow’s cheek, “Hey, l-look at me sweetie,” she lifted Willow’s chin with her forefinger, “why did you stay?”

“You.”

Willow lost herself in Tara’s deep blue eyes.

“Me?”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you…” Willow paused, “I’ve already done enough of that, and I really wanted you to be proud of me. I wanted to make sure we have the best chance to…”

Tara bought Willow’s hand up to her lips, “Willow, I am already so very very proud of you.”