jay/wt4evr- It's okay to miss a few, just means more to read when you get to catch up. Thanks for reading.
Tex- Always my biggest fan. It's going to get better from now on, promise. I'd say thanks for reading, but I don't think I have to express that. At least not to you.
lilkitty1839- Refer back to jay's reply. And thank you for reading.
Wicca Ness- Well here it is for you, dear. Thank you for reading.
LittleBit- Definitely the story for you if you love angst. Even with this fresh update it isn't over yet. It's a great compliment and you have my profound gratitude that I move you to tears. Provoking emotion through the written word has always been a great dream for me.
MissKittyB- Thank you. Glad you enjoy. Thank you for reading.
love_2003- On this board, always a happy ending. Just a rough road to get there with this one. Thank you for reading.
Millerchip77- Ah fresh meat. -lol- Kidding. I'm glad you like my story. This update has been a long time coming, and I hope you continue to like it. Thank you for reading.
Title: Can't You See My Love
Author: writerfreak
Email Address: writerfreakchick@aol.com
Rating: PG-13/R/NC-17
Disclaimer: The idea was mine. Everything you recognize probably doesn't belong to me. It
belongs to Joss Whedon or ME.
Feedback: Yes, please, if you will. Don't be afraid to be harsh if it really sucks.
Summary: My fave fics are the ones that start after Tara leaves. I love make-up stories. So I'm writing one and hoping I can do it justice. It's AU. Though some parts may follow canon.
Dedication: To my lovely wife, Rachel. Without whom this chapter would never have been written and this story most likely left unfinished. She truly is my inspiration.
Notes: Spoken words are bolded. Thoughts in italics. It's my first multi-chapter story so bear with me. It might take a while to get to the together part but obviously they will be together. I'm a song-writer above all, so be warned that most of my stuff will contain lyrics I've written, as it was with “What Makes You”.
Notes 2: This is written for fresh beginnings. The second start of something wonderful. Again saying, it always will parallel the good or bad in my life. I hope you enjoy this. It was a pleasure to write.
Chapter Ten C
The doorbell finally rang, ending the tense moments between Willow and her father, and starting new ones in the anticipation of what was coming. Willow stood to answer and hesitated. Tara was on the other side of that door. The woman she had never stopped loving. The woman she thought she would never have again. She had to steel herself, contain herself and did what she had to do. What was polite. She opened the door with a half hearted smile and said hello. Words after that seemed to stick in her throat so Willow simply gestured Tara inside as her father came in from the sitting room. She watched as her father and Tara embraced, a familiar touch it seemed, as if they had a million times. Willow choked back emotion as they stepped away. She had to make herself speak.
"I'm glad you could make it tonight Tara. I know things aren't the best right now. Thank you for taking the time for us." Willow began in her most polite, detached tone. Tara looked suprised at Willow's apparent indifference. Willow then turned to her father and gestured him to lead them into the dining room. He did so looking confused. Realizing just how little he knew his daughter, and never had. He knew however that she didn't seem like the Willow that had loved Tara so much in the past. Willow brought the meal in from the kitchen and they all sat and silently began dishing out the food and eating. No one spoke for what seemed like forever, all silently eating the roast chicken and mashed potatoes. Willow's father was the first to break the silence, speaking to Tara
"It really was nice of you to come tonight, dear. We must all relax and have a nice meal before all of the paperwork has to be started tomorrow. I don't even know how I'm going to manage going through her things..." he trailed off, choking up. Tara reached over and placed her hand on his
"It's going to be okay Ira, I'm here to help. As well as Buffy and Xander and the others will be. We are all here for you." She glanced at Willow before adding
"Both of you." Willow simply kept eating, refraining from commenting on how short her stay would be and how Tara wouldn't be able to be there for her when she went back to her lonely life.
There wasn't much conversation after those strained words. All 3 eating in silence yet again before finishing. Willow's father was choking up quite a bit through the whole thing, and retired early deciding to take a sleeping pill so that he could rest. He left Willow and Tara sitting in the dining room after excusing himself. Willow, ever the polite woman, offered Tara to the living room for a glass of wine. Knowing that the talk was to come Tara accepted. Willow opened and poured the wine before both of them walked in and sat down. The silence was tense, and neither knew where to begin. Tara ended up having to break the tension and speak,
"Where did you go, Willow?" She spoke softly so as not to startle Willow and watched as Willow sat there in silence for a few moments, almost as if she hadn't heard her. Willow finally responded,
"At first, nowhere. I stayed around town for a few nights. Then I hopped on a bus and kept travelling east until I found a place I liked. I was in Vegas for a while, dealing blackjack. Then I continued on. Ended up in Massachusetts. I got into MIT. It took all of my savings and a few grants but I studied there and got my degree. Then I stayed and opened up my own practice. I work with computers." Tara stared for a few moments and finally spoke again
"We couldn't find you. We tried so hard and we couldn't find you at all. No searches came up anywhere, I couldn't find you magically, even Angel couldn't find you. You just disappeared. Vanished into thin air. We looked for your name on every flight, train, bus, everything that we could hack or find someone to hack into-" Willow interrupted softly as Tara started to get heated
"I changed it." That gave Tara pause. Moments went by until she managed to utter
"What?" Willow stated softly again
"I changed it." Tara broke at that moment, tears filling her eyes and streaming down her face before she knew they had even started. She sat there and cried and stared at Willow.
"You really didn't want us to find you did you? You really left and weren't coming back. Why now, Willow? Or is that even your name anymore? Why come back now?" They both sat there in silence before Willow had to speak up this time
"Yes its my name. I was needed to sign paperwork. I kept tabs on things here, at least my parents here, I didn't want to interfere in anyone else's life. I didn't have the right to."
Both lapsed into the longest silence yet. Sitting there for endless moments, crying and staring at each other. Tara's tears were breaking Willow's heart all over again, and Tara couldn't keep them at bay when her own heart was in shreds at both of their pain. And still they sat there. Tara finally after about fifteen minutes had to break the silence
"Yes, you did. Didn't you know that I loved you. That they all loved you. Every one of us. We moved heaven and earth to try to find you. And we never knew, not once, whether you were okay or hurt or dead or in the hospital or if maybe you had amnesia and couldn't remember. You have no idea the scenarios that went through my head about what happened to you after you left and never contacted us again. I loved you Willow, more than I ever thought I could love back then. And you left. What hurts the most is sitting here on this couch. Sitting next to you and looking at you. It's that you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I'm still in love with you. And you're still just going to walk right back out of my life."
Willow sat there dumbfounded. She had no words, and could only stare at Tara even more. Long moments Tara waited until Willow found her voice
"But you left me. I ruined things, forever, and you left me. How could I have stayed here? It broke my heart to be here. Everywhere I turned was a memory. I couldn't get away from the pain. It's been so long now. Too long. We don't even know each other anymore. You say you are still in love with me, but how on earth could we make this work. I can't just give up everything I've worked so hard for when I can't guarantee I'm giving it up for a sure thing. What else would you have me do?"
Tara's eyes widened at the unexpected outburst. No response was in her mind, anywhere at all it seemed. Again they sat and stared until Tara finally moved. When she did it was so fast that Willow's mind didn't comprehend what was happening until it did. Tara kissed her. At first Willow froze, until her body moved of its own accord and softened under the touch of Tara's arms wrapping around her. Until her mouth relaxed and finally opened under the force of Tara's kiss. It only lasted a moment more before Tara just as abruptly broke it off. Then Tara stood and looked down at Willow.
"That's how it would work. You still love me too. It's in your kiss."
Then Tara left Willow stunned on the couch and walked out the door.
TBC...
by lilkitty1389 » Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:25 am 
Yay willow came back,Cant wait for the next update, hope its soon 
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Kenny that was a very powerful update my friend the pain so real you could cut it with a knife keep it coming old friend. 
as always this update was very telling but you stoped to soon come on kid hit us with all you got 
lovn the story love you too 
