Yes, this is actually an update. I know, it's a miracle.
Sorry this has taken so long. Between exams, the holidays, and the beginning of a new (and my final!) semester of law school, RL has taken its toll. And, to be honest, I needed a break - though I didn't really realize it at the time. It hadn't really dawned on me just how many pages of story I had churned out pretty consistently for the preceding 9 months - a total of around 600 pages between TG, ITW, and TOD, not including some side projects I've been working on. I know other authors have written way more than that, so I don't mean to give the impression that I'm griping or anything, because I'm not - I really, really enjoy writing, and I enjoy the feedback that comes from sharing some of my writing with you. I just mention this only because it really surprised me, the sheer volume of pages in the last nine months, a volume I am quite unused to producing... and it finally made me realize a couple of weeks ago why I had needed a break.
So... I finally picked up my laptop after a long absence, only to discover I needed to reacquaint myself with the story thus-far, bringing about another delay before I could do any major writing. It was a little like catching up with an old friend over coffee, and it was very nice. In any case, I'm back now, though I must admit that updates from this point on may be somewhat irregular, both because I am still "catching up" with my story and because the last semester of anything brings all kinds of new time-consuming challenges and adventures.
And with that... I hope I haven't been away so long that you all have lost interest, and I hope the second half of TOD will live up to your expectations. Things are about to get very, very interesting. As always, thanks for reading.
Special thanks to my ever wonderful beta, Tulipp, for still being the best, and for bearing with my rusty writing skills.
For A, just because I can.
-BB
Title: The Truth of Deception - Part 27: Passion
Author: blameburner
Feedback: Sure… Always a plus
Summary: AU, baby! So you all know by now... Tara is part of the Initiative, she's had to lie to everyone... now the truth is out there, and Willow and Tara are together. But Maggie Walsh is still plotting something, and has more than one trick up her sleeve.
Spoiler Warning: S4. Everything up to "Hush" is canon. After that, all bets are off.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, but oh how I wish they were! Joss, blah, blah, ME, blah, blah.
Rating: NC-17. Really. For this part, I mean it.
Pairings: W/T, of course.
Angst: Moderate. Maybe 5. But there's happiness, too. And fire. Hehe.
Previously..."What do you feel, Wil?" Tara pleaded. "Tell me what you feel when I touch you?" she asked, rubbing even harder.
And finally... through the haze of passion and lust, or maybe because of it, Willow could feel all the layers falling away. All the doubt, all the fear, all the pain... they all fell away, until Willow was left with the deepest, fullest, the ultimate truth. Tara loved her. No matter what, Tara loved her. And she loved Tara.
"Love," Willow gasped. "I feel love."
"Yes," she cried as she crushed her mouth back down over Willow's, and Willow responded, meeting Tara's kiss completely. Their mouths were frenzied, their heads moving back and forth as each woman tried to crawl closer, deeper, inside.
************************
"Tara, we should go, get out of the rain," she whispered softly into Tara's ear.
"No! It's not safe! Nowhere is safe!" Tara panicked, pulling back from Willow and searching her eyes frantically. She had pushed away all rational thought when she had felt the depths of Willow's pain, and now it was all rushing back to her. The Initiative, the cameras, Maggie Walsh... suddenly she felt so inadequate. She had failed Willow, she couldn't protect her, wasn't strong enough to keep her safe. "She's watching everything! I... I... I have to protect you but... I... I don't know what to do... where to go..."
Willow saw the fear in Tara's eyes and knew without even hearing the words that Tara's fear wasn't for herself. Tara's fear was for Willow, and Willow ached with the pain it was causing Tara. Still, she had heard the words, and her brow furrowed slightly.
"Who's watching, baby?" Willow asked, not understanding.
"Walsh," Tara answered, the name like venom on her lips.
Willow's eyes widened slightly at the revelation. Then suddenly, pieces of conversation swirled in her mind, finally coming together to show her what she should have figured out much sooner, what she would have figured out if she hadn't been overwhelmed with grief and anger.
"After the Gentlemen came... after what happened in the laundry room... after the power we shared, Professor Walsh thought you needed to be watched."
"All I could think about was how I wanted to get to know you better, how I wanted to spend time with you... and I wanted to keep you safe-"
"But if nothing else, please believe that I was trying to protect you. There's something going on-"
"I didn't tell her how powerful you are, and I didn't report all the spells we did, how we spent our time. I didn't tell her that I fell in love with you. I told her as little as possible."
"Willow, I didn't tell her about us - the real us - because it's dangerous for you. Walsh-"
"It's dangerous! You can't be seen with me!"
"Damn it, Willow! I'm trying to protect you! And I can't do that if you're with me!"
It all made sense now, why Tara had acted this way, why she had been so cruel, why she was terrified for Willow. Tara was trying to protect her from Walsh, and somehow Tara had believed that she couldn't do that if she and Willow were together, because Walsh was watching. So Tara had tried to push her away.
"How? How can she be watching?" Willow asked.
"Cameras," Tara said, unable to find the strength to explain it all. There was so much to go through, so much to explain, and she just couldn't handle it all yet.
Willow thought about it for a moment, not allowing herself to give in to the contempt she already had for Walsh, which was growing with each passing second. For Buffy. For Riley. For herself. But most of all, for Tara.
She shook her head, focusing on the problem at hand. Without knowing what exactly the cameras were for, Willow couldn't figure out where Walsh would have them. But she could make some logical assumptions of where the cameras would - and wouldn't - be. They needed somewhere safe to go, somewhere Walsh would have no real reason to watch.
"I know a place where we can go," Willow said suddenly, smiling.
But Tara shook her head frantically. "No, Wil.. it's not safe-"
Willow put a finger to Tara's lips, stopping her. She cupped Tara's cheek, noting the way Tara's eyes fluttered momentarily at the touch. She searched her lover's eyes and asked, "Trust me?"
"Yes," Tara answered, without hesitation. Tara was scared, but she always trusted Willow.
Willow stood, pulling Tara up with her. She took Tara's hand and lead her out of the woods. They made their way out of the tree line heading towards town, their hands intertwined. Somewhere along the way, Willow realized that it had stopped raining.
Part 27
Willow walked back into the living room, two steaming mugs of tea in her hands. It felt good, the heat from the mugs warming her hands, but the fire Tara had started in the fireplace while Willow had been in the kitchen felt even better. The fire crackled and popped, flooding the otherwise darkened room with a slow heat and a soothing orange glow.
Willow stood near the doorway, letting the warmth wash over her for a moment even as she watched Tara move methodically around the room.
"Do you really think Walsh would have cameras here?" Willow asked, a slight smile on her lips. Tara spun around, so intent on her searching that she hadn't heard Willow re-enter the room.
Tara was still nervous, still panicky. As Willow had led her away from campus and through town, Tara's eyes had never stopped scanning their surroundings, never stopped searching for the slightest sign of danger. Willow had said nothing, just kept walking, keeping a firm grip on Tara's hand.
Finally they had reached their apparent destination, a quiet two-story house on a just as quiet street. Tara had paused in the driveway, instinctively knowing whose house this was without ever having seen it before. Willow had felt the tug on her arm as Tara had stopped, and she turned back to find the blonde's eyes silently questioning her. Willow had simply smiled and given Tara's hand a gentle squeeze before moving them once again toward the front door.
Willow had slid her free hand up along the top of the door frame, retrieving a brass key. With a simple twist and a soft click, the door was open and they were inside.
Willow had left Tara standing in the middle of her parents' darkened living room, disappearing up the stairs. But she was gone only a moment, and before Tara knew it her love was back with two fluffy blue towels and two even fluffier white bathrobes. Willow had dropped the towels and robes on the love seat to Tara's left, and had reached for the hem of Tara's shirt.
Tara had stood mutely, just watching, as Willow had unceremoniously divested Tara of her shirt, cargo pants, bra, and panties. There was nothing sexual in the way Willow worked quickly to strip the drenched garments from the blonde's body, yet each movement was full of love.
Willow had picked up one of the towels and ran it over Tara's chest and arms, stomach and thighs. Then she had stepped around behind the blonde and toweled off Tara's back before going to work on her hair. Tara had let out an inadvertent moan as she felt Willow's hands through the soft towel massaging her scalp.
When Willow had finally been satisfied that Tara was sufficiently dry, she had picked up one of the thick robes and slipped it up Tara's arms and over her shoulders. Tara had just watched as Willow had gently tied the robe's belt around Tara's waist. Only then did Willow finally strip off her own drenched clothing, repeating the drying process until she stood before she stood before Tara robed and just mildly damp.
She had placed a soft kiss on Tara's lips and told the blonde to wait there while she got them something warm to drink. Once Willow had gone, Tara had just stood there for a moment, looking around the darkened living room. She had considered turning on a lamp, but the thought of artificial light seemed so... sterile. She had also realized she still felt chilled from the rain and from the exhaustion of the previous twenty-four hours. So she had built a fire in the oversize stone fireplace.
When she had finished, she had stood, allowing the heat from the growing fire to seep into her skin. It was only then - as she waited for Willow to return - that she had finally remembered what had brought them here in the first place. Walsh. Cameras. Nowhere was safe. She had forgotten, and now she was panicking. She began sweeping the room, searching the usual places where cameras would be hidden first. When she had found none, she had begun a more thorough search of the room.
"Tara?" Willow asked, snapping Tara back to the present. She realized that Willow was still waiting for an answer.
"She could have put cameras here," Tara said, though there was a distinct lack of conviction in her words.
Willow smiled lightly and walked up to Tara, handing her one of the mugs of tea.
"Tara," Willow said softly, "in all the time that you've known me, have I ever come here?"
"Well... no," Tara replied after a moment. Willow had never gone to her parents house - they'd been out of town as long as Tara had known her. In fact, Willow never even talked to her parents as far as Tara knew.
"I haven't even talked to them in months," Willow said, echoing Tara's thoughts. "They've been on the conference circuit since just after the start of the school year. The only reason I even know they're still alive is because of the post cards I get on the 5th of every month. They're always the same... a picture of the library of whatever university they most recently lectured at."
Tara's heart lurched a bit at the tiny flash of sadness that flitted across Willow's face. It was almost too small and fleeting to notice, but Tara knew - and Willow knew that Tara knew. Willow smiled weakly and shook her head, shrugging off her parents' shallow attempt at caring.
"So it's not like Walsh would have any reason to think I would come here, right?" Willow asked logically.
"I guess," Tara said non-committaly.
"So she'd have no reason to put cameras here, right?" Willow continued.
"I suppose," Tara agreed hesitantly.
Willow smiled. She could tell Tara saw the logic in her words, despite herself. Willow couldn't blame Tara for wanting to be cautious, but she knew that all this worrying over nothing wasn't doing Tara any good.
"Besides," Willow made her final argument, "if Walsh had cameras here, she'd already know we were here together. She'd know that I knew, and that you'd been lying to her, so it really wouldn't matter if you found them now, would it?"
"No, it really wouldn't," Tara finally agreed, relaxing somewhat. She absolutely loved her girlfriend's logical mind.
"Good," Willow said, smiling brightly and nodding her approval. "Now sit down in front of this lovely fire you built and drink your tea."
Tara grinned as she did as she was told. "Yes, mother," she said in a placatingly child-like voice.
Willow scrunched up her face like she had a bad taste in her mouth. "No more talk about my mother," she said as she sat down on the couch next to Tara.
Willow sank back into the sofa and wrapped an arm around Tara's shoulders, pulling Tara to rest against her. Tara went gratefully, and the two women sat together that way for a long while, sipping their tea in silence and letting the fire warm them.
"I'm sorry," Tara said quietly after a long while.
"I know," Willow said, "though you don't need to be."
"Of course I do," Tara said, her voice taking a slightly bitter edge. She pulled away from Willow, scooting over to rest against the arm of the sofa. She wouldn't - couldn't - look at Willow, so she kept staring into the fire. "I caused you so much pain-"
"You did what you had to do," Willow interrupted. She didn't yet know the whole story, but she knew enough to know that the pain Tara had inflicted on her was nothing compared to the pain Tara had inflicted on herself - was still inflicting on herself.
"You don't know, Willow," Tara said disgustedly, shaking her head. "I could have done things differently. Should have done things differently. I hurt you so much... and I... I can never forgive myself for that."
Willow turned on the sofa so she could face her love, but Tara just kept staring into the fire. She knew it was warm, knew that invisible waves of heat were caressing her face even now, yet she couldn't feel it. All she felt was cold. "Tara, look at me," Willow said, but Tara ignored her, the chill seeping further into her bones.
"Tara," Willow tried again, her voice pleading. "Please look at me."
Tara shifted her eyes to Willow briefly, but quickly shifted them back to the fire. Still, in that moment Willow could see how much Tara hated herself for what she had done - to Willow, to them. Tara could no longer separate herself from the pain she had inflicted. In her own mind, Tara wasn't just defined by the lie - she was the lie. And in that moment Willow knew the truth of what all of this had cost Tara. Willow knew with a fierce certainty that she had to reach Tara, to make her see that it would all be okay, that they would be okay. Only then would Tara be able to stop hating herself.
"Yes, you hurt me," Willow said as gently as possible, for it was the truth. And the truth - in all its harshness and its wonder - was what would save them. She saw Tara wince slightly, but she knew she had to continue. "I won't deny that, baby. Knowing that you had lied to me, thinking that you didn't love me-"
Tara did look at Willow then, to tell Willow that she always loved her, but Willow held up her hand and stopped Tara's protestations before they had even begun.
"I know you love me," Willow said, once again echoing Tara's thoughts. "But for a while there... I didn't. Or at least, I didn't let myself know. It was like deep down, of course I knew you loved me. I could see the truth with my heart even when my mind was raging against it. But still..."
Tara looked back to the fire, unable to gaze at Willow and see the heartbreak of the redhead's words reflected on her face. It was one thing to know the pain she had caused from her own perspective... it was much harder to hear about that same pain from Willow's point of view. Tara could see Willow's internal struggle in her mind's eye, and it was almost too much. So she stared into the flames, focusing on where the orange ended and the yellow began, seeing anything other than the image of Willow in pain that was forever burned into her mind.
Still, Willow continued. She needed to get this out, for both of them.
"So it was like I didn't know, and that hurt so much... to doubt everything you had ever felt for me, and therefore everything I had ever felt for you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She looked down to where her fingers plucked at a loose thread on the sofa, twirling and pulling but not letting go. Never letting go. "It hurt so much, all the doubting. It was... overwhelming. It blinded me for a while. But Buffy said something to me that really made me think about what was important. And the answer was you."
Willow paused, and Tara turned, needing to know where Willow was going with this, daring to hope - just a little - that maybe it could really all be okay. Willow's eyes were trained on the sofa, and Tara could see a single cranberry-colored thread wedged firmly between Willow's index finger and thumb, like a lifeline.
"She asked me if I still loved you," Willow explained. "I kept trying to avoid the question, saying you'd hurt me and lied to me, but she just kept pushing. Finally I had to admit that I did. Of course I did. Love like that doesn't just end, no matter what. Then she asked me if I wanted a second chance with you, if I loved you enough to try and make it work. I didn't answer that question, at least not then."
Tara waited for Willow to continue, instinctively knowing what Willow's answer must have been, and yet needing desperately to hear the words at the same time. She didn't even realize she was holding her breath. Then Willow looked up, and when Tara saw the wide, honest eyes of the only woman she would ever love, Tara let go.
"I went out walking, trying to figure things out," Willow said. "I was still so upset, I couldn't think clearly. And then..."
Willow paused, letting out a short laugh of amazement. She still couldn't believe... She noticed Tara's brow crinkle slightly in confusion, so she shook her head, leaving her thoughts about how she had gotten help from the least likely place for another time.
"I ended up talking to Anya," Willow said. Tara's eyebrow shot up in surprise. "I know... believe me, I know. Anya of all people. But in the end, it was lucky I did. Heck, I think it had fate written all over it."
Tara smiled despite herself, and it warmed Willow.
"Anyway, Anya... I wasn't sure if you really loved me," Willow said, watching Tara's smile fade.
"I mean, I felt that you did, but I was just so confused about everything. It was like in a way it would almost have been easier if you hadn't ever loved me, because then it would have been so black and white. You would have been the bad guy, and everything fit into tidy little categories in my head, and I could have eventually just walked away," Willow explained.
The reality of Willow possibly having walked away hit Tara like a tidal wave, making her squeeze her eyes tightly against the pain of that possibility - even though she had been living with that possibility since the very beginning.
"Though I really don't know how I ever would have been able to walk away," Willow said, almost as an after thought. Tara opened her eyes and looked back at Willow, whose eyes were shining with unshed tears. "I really don't know how I would ever walk away from you," she said, staring deeply into Tara's eyes.
Willow closed her own eyes for a moment, trying to regain her composure. Then she began again. "But see, if you really did love me... well, then everything was about as gray as you can get," she continued. "If you loved me, then I had to figure out why you lied. More than that, I had to figure out what to do next."
Willow smiled lightly again, recalling Anya's blunt insight. "That's where Anya came in. She helped me see that you really did love me, even though in a sense that was the more difficult of the two possibilities," Willow said. "Once I had that figured out, I had to decide what that meant. Which all led me back to Buffy's question, which I still hadn't answered."
Willow set her mug on the floor and then scooted closer to Tara on the couch. She took Tara's free hand in her own and leaned in, making sure Tara was looking at her completely.
"What I realized was that I loved you more than anything or anyone else in my life. Ever," Willow said, her voice choked with emotion. "I can be complete without you. I can stand on my own and live my life and be a whole person. But I don't want to. I want to live the rest of my life seeing your face, hearing your voice, dreaming of you and waking up next to you. And all the pain in the world, all the righteous indignation and hurt and fear in the universe isn't worth that."
Willow squeezed Tara's hand, leaning in even closer. Both women were crying now. "Yes, you hurt me, baby. But even without knowing why you did it, I realized that it didn't matter. Because in spite of it all, I still loved you, and I knew that you loved me. And underneath all the deception was the truth of our love, and that was the greatest truth of all. Our love is truth."
Tara couldn't believe it. It was everything she had ever hoped for. Willow loved her, despite everything she had done. Willow had chosen to fight for them without even understanding the reasons behind Tara's actions, simply because they were worth fighting for - their love was worth fighting for.
And yet... Tara's tears streamed down her face, threatening to drown her. She wanted to be happy, but all she felt was fear - fear and confusion and hope and regret and joy and pain... It was all so much, so hard, so overwhelming, and it had pushed Tara to the breaking point.
All the lies and divided loyalties had pulled Tara in so many different directions she barely knew who she was anymore. She was Jekyll and Hyde, the friend and the betrayer, Machiavelli reborn. Willow, Riley, Buffy, even Maggie Walsh... she had lied to them all, been a different person to them all, betrayed them all. She had been the star of the most deceptive one-woman show of all time, and now... She had spent so long manipulating the world, now she felt like she was losing control, like at any moment all of this would turn out to be some cosmic joke and she would be left standing alone on an empty stage.
And even though she was here with Willow... even though Willow now knew the truth of how Tara felt... even though Tara now had the one thing she wanted - Willow's love, without any lies standing between them - most of all... Tara still felt like she just couldn't let go.
She had been in control for so long, and now she was losing that control. She had held such a tight grip on her emotions, her thoughts, her actions, because she had had to, and now... now that she could finally let go, she didn't know how. All she had to do was accept the truth of Willow's words, and everything would be okay. But she couldn't. All she had to do was believe that Willow was really there, loving her, but she feared what would happen if she did. Tara felt like as soon as she moved, it would all disappear.
"Tara?" Willow said, cupping the blonde's cheek. She had been waiting for some response from her love for several minutes, watching as a thousand different thoughts flashed through Tara's mind, playing out across her face. She watched as Tara tried to find her voice, as she opened her mouth to speak and had to fight through her tears.
"I've been holding on so tight for so long," Tara finally choked out. "I'm afraid of what will happen... if I let go."
And then Willow understood. Willow understood what Tara was afraid of, and also understood what she needed to do. She had to show Tara that she and they - and their love - was real. Tara needed to release. She needed to let go. And she needed for Willow to show her how.
Willow picked up her coffee mug and stood, then gently took the mug from Tara's hands. Tara looked up at Willow questioningly, but Willow said nothing. She turned and walked over to the end table next to the love seat, setting both mugs down on it. Tara just watched, marveling at the silent grace with which Willow moved. Willow pulled the throw pillows that littered the love seat and tossed them at her feet.
Then she turned back toward Tara but moved no closer. She just stood there, her hands hanging loosely at her sides, staring into Tara's eyes. Tara stared back, unblinking, barely even breathing. The tiniest, softest, sweetest smile Tara could imagine played across Willow's lips. Her eyes sparkled in the firelight, but Tara knew what she saw in those emerald orbs had nothing to do with the refraction of light from the fire.
Slowly, deliberately, Willow reached up to the tie around her waist. With a simple tug, the tie came loose and the robe fell open. Tara felt her mouth go dry, and she licked her lips. Willow's breath caught even as her own mouth went dry as she watched Tara's eyes drift down her body, hungrily scanning the narrow expanse of skin the open robe showed.
Willow reached her hands up to the collar of the robe and paused as she waited for Tara's gaze to move back up to meet hers. When it finally did, Willow slipped the robe from her shoulders, letting it drop carelessly to the floor. Willow could see Tara's sharp intake of breath, could hear the tiny sigh that escaped Tara's lips as she stood there.
There was no awkwardness, no hesitation, no nervous posturing or shying away. There was just Willow, standing naked in the firelight, completely open to Tara's gaze. Completely open to Tara. No more hiding, no more uncertainty, no more deception. There was only the truth between them now.
Tara sat motionless on the sofa, drinking Willow in from across the room, etching every curve and hollow, every dip and shadow into her mind for all time. And then Willow was in front of her, so close that Tara could actually feel the heat from Willow's body warming her soul, could smell Willow's scent almost as a memory. Tara hadn't seen her move, hadn't heard her approach, so lost in mapping the contours of Willow's body as she had been.
But it didn't matter, not now. All that mattered was that Willow was here, close enough to touch, and she was reaching out, lifting her hand... Tara closed her eyes and she felt Willow's hand trace her brow, her cheek, brush over her eyes, her nose, down her jawline and up to her lips. Willow brushed her thumb over those lips gently, almost imperceptibly, but that simple touch broke through the last of Tara's fears.
Willow was here, touching her. Willow was real. Their love was real.
Tara brought her hands up to Willow's waist and pressed her face into Willow's stomach, rubbing her cheek against the silky smoothness of Willow's abdomen. Willow's hand slipped from Tara's face to her hair, and her other hand came up to Tara's nape.
"Goddess, Willow," Tara said, caressing Willow's stomach with her cheek. Her voice was strained, her words broken by shuddering breaths. Willow just kept stroking Tara's hair, over and over while the blonde spoke.
"I've wanted this for so long... I've wanted to be with you like this... for so long... and now that we're here..." Tara trailed off as she looked up Willow's body to find her eyes. She needed to see her love's eyes. And she found them, looking back at her, reaching out to her. "I... I'm so afraid... of... that..."
Tara couldn't get the words past her throat, but it didn't matter. Willow knew. Tara had already said it. She was afraid to let go, afraid that if she did, she could lose everything. Tara was afraid that if she let down her guard completely, that if she bared her body and soul like Willow had, that something terrible would happen. That none of this - them, here, together - would be real.
Willow dropped to her knees and took Tara's face with both of her hands. "I'm here, baby," she said, her voice full of strength and love. "I'm right here." And then Willow kissed her.
Tara moaned as Willow took her lips over and over, opening the pathways through the last of Tara's control. She felt Tara giving herself over to Willow's kiss, to Willow's love, allowing herself to trust that when she next opened her eyes, Willow would be there. Waiting. Wanting. Still.
Tara slipped off the sofa and fell to her knees, pressing her body into Willow's, taking control of the kiss even as she lost control of herself. Her mouth moved hungrily as she grasped Willow's hips, fitting their bodies tightly together. Not tightly enough, however, as Tara groaned at the feel of her own robe still between them, still separating them. They had been separated for too long.
Willow sensed Tara's need as it matched her own, and she moved her hands and untied the belt of Tara's robe. She wanted skin on skin, both of them completely bare to each other, the last barrier gone for good.
Willow slipped the robe off Tara's shoulders but not her body, trapping it just above her elbows as she moved her mouth to Tara's neck. Tara's hands came up to Willow's head, despite her arms being imprisoned within the robe, as Willow trailed her lips down Tara's neck to her collarbone. Willow dipped her tongue lightly in the hollow, swirling it once before trailing her lips back up underneath the blonde's earlobe. Tara tilted her head back, losing herself in Willow's touch, letting the world slip away so there was only the two of them left.
"I'm here, Tara," Willow whispered against Tara's ear, sending shivers through the blonde's body, cracking what was left of Tara's control. Fresh tears sprang to Tara's eyes as she began to feel herself let go.
Willow dragged the robe the rest of the way off Tara's body, then skimmed her hands back up Tara's sides to cup her breasts.
"I'm here," Willow said again, rubbing her palms in circular motions over sensitive flesh. Tara released a deep, shuddering breath as her tears fell freely. Every word and touch from Willow sent another brick in the wall Tara had built crashing to the ground.
Willow slipped one arm around Tara's back and turned both of their bodies, lowering Tara to the floor and pillows. Then she lifted her other hand to Tara's face, tracing her features before cupping her cheek. Tara's tears had slowed, and she gazed up at Willow and saw their love burning bright in Willow's eyes.
"I'm right here, baby," Willow said tenderly. "I'll always be right here."
And with that, the last of Tara's control fell away. She was lost in a sea of Willow, adrift and helpless and completely, totally vulnerable. She crushed her lips against Willow's, desperation and passion fueling each other until all that was left was a white hot inferno. Their hands moved everywhere all at once, frantically searching for a way to get closer, the fire consuming them both.
"Please, Willow... show me," Tara whispered breathlessly. "Show me who I belong to. Show me I'm yours."
The fire crackled and hissed, responding to the passion rising from Willow and Tara. Willow kissed Tara deeply while sliding her hand between their intertwined bodies. She slipped two fingers down to Tara's opening and dipped them between Tara's folds, making the blonde arch upwards. "You're mine," Willow growled.
"Yours," Tara echoed, moving her hand down to Willow's opening, matching her lover's movements. The flames of the fire rose and swayed, slipping over each other as Tara's hands slipped over Willow's skin.
"You're mine," Willow said again, sliding her fingers deeply into Tara, making the blonde cry out.
"Yours," Tara breathed, the word like a prayer on her lips. She entered Willow, who moaned. The flames grew higher, rolling and fusing together, no longer caring where each one ended and the next one began.
"You belong to me," Willow said, looking deeply into Tara's eyes, her hand stilling inside of her love. Her body screamed in protest at the interruption, her skin burning everywhere that it touched Tara's, but she needed to make sure Tara was listening. She needed Tara to hear her. "And I belong to you."
Tara stilled, letting the words penetrate. Could it be? Could Willow need her as much as she needed Willow? Could they both need to be saved?
"I belong to you," Willow said again, still holding Tara's gaze, as she began moving deeply inside of Tara. And in that perfect moment, Tara knew it was true. She belonged to Willow, but Willow belonged to her as well. Willow was her savior, but she was Willow's. Suddenly it didn't feel so frightening to be adrift, for she wasn't alone. Not anymore.
"Mine," Tara said, staring back into Willow's eyes as she began to stroke her love. Willow moaned again, shutting her eyes as a wave of pleasure ran through her, and Tara knew with miraculous certainty that Willow was there, that they were together, and that their love was so very real. The fire leapt upward and outward, reaching towards the intertwined bodies lying only a few feet away.
"Yours," Willow breathed as their pace increased and they raced towards oblivion. She dropped her head down next to Tara's, pressing her lips to Tara's ear. "We belong to each other."
A fine sheen of sweat glazed both of their bodies, born of the heat from the fire and their passion. Tara pressed her lips to Willow's neck, sucking in her lover's flesh and biting down as she started to slip over the edge.
"Forever," Tara moaned. Then her body tensed and the light flashed and arced behind her eyes.
"Forever," Willow gasped. The fire roared to a blinding brilliance, flooding the room with a white heat as pure as Willow and Tara's love.
And then they both cried out their surrender to each other.
***********************
TBC with Part 28: Safe
Edited to add:
Sorry, I am going to use my thread briefly for an OT comment. I meant to incorporate this in my introduction, but forgot. I hope the mods will understand.
I simply wanted to express my sadness at yesterday's space shuttle disaster. I have been an fan of the space program for as long as I can remember, and am a firm believer that the exploration of space is of fundamental importance, for it demonstrates mankind's ability to do anything we put our mind to. Exploring space is all about doing what we dream, and it shows us that we are limited only when we ignore our dreams or choose not to dream at all.
I can still remember the profound loss I felt when I saw the destruction of the Challenger along with the rest of my fifth grade class, a feeling brought back with great force after yesterday's tragedy. Yet I also remember vividly standing next to the countdown clock at water's edge in Florida only a few years ago to watch liftoff of the space shuttle Endeavor. It was a cool, perfectly clear morning. The sun was just rising in the East when we first felt the shock wave across the water. The ground rumbled beneath us as vast clouds of perfectly white smoke streched out beneath the shuttle. And then the shuttle began to rise atop a cone of fire so bright it lit the sky like the noon day sun. It seemed like forever, but the whole thing lasted only a few minutes. And as my friends and I finally lost sight of the shuttle, and as the last trails of smoke dissipated in the sky, I remember thinking that anything was possible.
So with that... I just want to say that my thoughts and prayers are with the families of those who were lost, and with anyone who feels their loss simply because of what they represented - the ability to dream.
-BB
"Maybe I'll change my look, or cut class. You don't know! And I'm eating this banana, lunch-time be damned!" - Willow, Dopplegangland
Edited by: blameburner at: 2/2/03 7:23:08 pm
Hope all is well.
~Stephie~ 
*looks arond nervously for incoming shovels*
have a lot to talk about. They have to talk about what happens and what it means. 
I am sure Willow will be wanting to return the favor as well. 
I will love a chapter with W/T discussing the events in the rain. I love the dialogue between the two more than anything. 
at: 1/22/03 9:00:05 pm
Yes finally I so want to know what happens next, fab. story despite the angst.