Coulda. Woulda. Shoulda - Chapter 176 - 01/27/14 - COMPLETE

[Kajun]

Katharyn, Ha! You sure switched it up on us.. and a fine job of it too. Someone who may not be as familiar with all things Buffy could easily read this (sans the naughty content) as actual canon. I’ve been bragging on you and CWS to my peeps!

It makes perfect sense that Willow would use her hacker skills to find the wet-works unit and, hopefully, figure out Tara is right about the switcheroo. I suppose Tara’s stealthiness could be attributed solely to the shadow spell but I think it’s a combo of magic, learned techniques while on the hunt with Diana and natural abilities. Willow has much to learn about, and from, her girlfriend.

Putting a sleep spell on water in super soakers was genius. Was that done on the show in a different episode? I sure don’t recall if it was. Regardless whether it is original or borrowed, it’s a great idea for this particularly dangerous mission. Willow’s an ankle biter.. LOL! You had to drop a scary cliffhanger on us didn’t you? Now would be a good time for Willow to put one of their other planned spells to work –and quickly!

Excellent!! More please!

[Katharyn]

Willowfriendly - Hi Yes, Willow may be looking for help right at this moment! As for the Council... hmm, not sure Goddesses are their remit Thanks

Missocki - Damn, if you were biting your nails from when you wrote that there must be nothing left now! Resolution coming up very soon

Kajun - But if you read it as canon I'm doing it wrong! Just kidding Thanks so much!

As for naughty content I've just been writing the naughtiest dialogue scene I've ever done that features the girls (and others) as another bonus part but I shouldn't tease because it gives too much away so you won't see it for a long, long time LOL

You have peeps?

What's been fun in this story is what you pointed out, finding out other - sometimes more sensible - ways that things can happen. They pretty much gave up explaining things in S4 and S5 (to the extent that I am STILL convinced the Glory storyline makes no sense, but we'll get to that)

The sleep spell in a squirt gun... I can't exactly remember where I got that from. Pretty sure it's not the show, but it's not me. I think I read a book that did something similar, but maybe that was with painball type guns.

As for what Willow will do... find out very shortly.

Thanks so much, as ever.

Your peep.

Katharyn

[Katharyn]

Title: Tara and Willow – Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda – Chapter Forty-One
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Absolutely, yes please. That’s why I write for this place, to engage in the discussion about the story.
Spoiler warning: Not sure why I am bothering, really, but Season 4 and Season 5 of BTVS.
Distribution: This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens and the Kitten Board please. No conversion to eBook or other formats please. Enjoy it here.
Summary: Following the cliff-hanger in the previous chapter, Tara and Willow are attempting to rescue Buffy. At least they hope it’s Buffy.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc. I am making no money from this series of stories however all original characters and situations remain my property. As this is a missing scenes and alternate reality fiction lots of scenes are new versions of those seen in the show, as such dialogue and situations are taken from the show. I’m sure you can tell which. All credit for those aspects goes to the original writers.
Rating: Occasional, tasteful, adult situations and contextual bad language. However by and large equivalent to the show.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever, that’s all I’m bothered about.
Text convention: Use of italics denotes either special emphasis if used for a single or a few words in a sentence OR first person thoughts if used for a whole sentence.
Notes: So I left you on an actual cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter. I don’t do that too often, but that’s because you can’t really put the girls in lethal jeopardy. After all, you know they’re coming out of it okay!
Finding new things for the girls to do in these circumstances, without turning this into Sidestep where they could just kick ass, was troublesome… I told myself there were 4 spells in the previous part. One they already used, the potions in the squirt guns are another… Now I just need to see if there’s anymore that I need.
Now, hands up, if I’d said there was going to be ‘squirting’ by Chapter 40 who’d have bet on me going to a sex scene and getting all… TMI? Yeah, it was all of you, don’t lie! Kittens are a collective mass in one regard… 
Music: Today’s music is Pink because, why the hell not? It was going to be Peter Gabriel, but I decided that I needed a faster beat for writing the ending of this action interlude.



Carefully dropping back down the ladder that led up to the roofspace, Tara looked down at the sleeping body of the second man who’d come up here onto the gantry – sent to see what had happened to the first.

Willow’s potion really worked and it worked fast. Good job too, because these men looked like they were ready to shoot whoever they needed to. And not with sleep potions either.

Years of playing with/running away from Donny on the farm – especially out in a three level barn – had given her plenty of practice in eluding ultimately painful sightings. If Donny saw her there’d usually been something unpleasantly at the end of it.

And if he lost, never found her, then there was usually something painful to deal with in his frustration too. At least once he got older. But a sense of elation usually got the better of her. It’d been years, but she’d remembered enough of those games to keep heading upwards, spying on what was happening below her and just hoping that her pursuer didn’t think to look upwards.

All she’d been waiting for this time though was a clear shot.

And eventually she’d gotten it. Immediately he’d dropped to the walkway, unconscious. Before he’d even had chance to reach up and wipe away the stream of water that she’d coated his face with. Without rubber gloves that gesture would’ve put him down anyway. Skin contact was all it took for the spell to take effect.

And she’d been sceptical when Willow had said it would be all but instant. Even though it was magic rather than pharmacological, that’d seemed too good to be true. Now she was definitely a convert though.

If only she’d had a spelled squirt gun when she had been playing with Donny. Things might’ve gone a little differently.

Back on the gantry and picking her way carefully over and around the fallen men, Tara could hear the muffled struggles from below, shouts of anger and frustration. Willow was still down there and the third man they knew was here was still up and awake and that meant that they were both still in danger.

Leaning out of over the railing she looked down at a scene that resembled a a well known movie poster and made her hurry to the base of the steps. Keeping his gun pointed at Willow – who was lying on the floor before him - the man from the Council realised that she was there and his eyes flickered in her direction. “Stay there, missy. Or your girlfriend get’s a real third eye.”

Frustrated and worried, Tara realised that she was too far away to guarantee that the stream of water she could fire would hit him. Maybe they should’ve got super-soakers, but on short notice the cheap water guns were the best that they’d been able to come up with. But why didn’t Willow shoot him…? The sleep would hit him practically instantly.

‘Practically’ might be the problem. Maybe Willow hadn’t actually been able to observe that the spell worked as fast as she’d said it would – maybe she didn’t have the confidence in her own idea, not like she had. Willow didn’t have confidence enough to risk her life, was that it?

She couldn’t think that was a bad idea.

Or, maybe Willow was afraid that gravity was going to end up knocking her out since she was going to be shooting virtually straight up in the air. And if by some terrible miracle she missed him and yet hit herself when the water came showering down… that would be bad too…

“What, exactly, are you two?” he asked.

A question that – one day – everyone would be asking. But that day wasn’t today.

“You’ve got the wrong, Slayer,” Willow said, looking up at him. Still pointing the squirt gun.

“Sorry, but I don’t think so.”

“She’s r-right,” Tara said. “Faith switched bodies with Buffy before you got to her. You’ve got the wrong one. All that we want to do is switch them back, then you can take the real Faith with you. We want you to take the real Faith.”

“That’s why you came here? Why not say so?”

“We are,” Willow said, obviously through gritted teeth.

“After you took out my men.”

“They’re just sleeping,” Tara said. “A sleep potion, in the water. That’s all it is.”

“Clever,” he said, grudgingly. “Never seen that done before. So you’re what? Witches?”

“Something like that,” Willow offered. “Look, there’s two of us and one of you, all we want is Buffy – I mean, Faith. We want who you’ve got in the truck, you get the real Faith, the right Faith, back when we’re done with the pair of them, when we’ve switched them back. You actually do your job instead of finding out later that you failed. I don’t think the Council would be very happy if you left no Slayer fighting the good fight.”

It sounded reasonable enough, but was he going to go for it? She took a step nearer.

“What’s your name?” Tara asked when he jerked the pistol towards Willow, his way of telling her the penalty for not stopping in her tracks.

He was obviously going to be a trained marksman and he was armed with a singularly fatal weapon. To shoot Willow, it didn’t matter how good he was. That training would only be necessary when he turned the gun on her and even that would be an easy shot.

“Collins,” he said when she did as he asked, but she’d closed the range a little ways at least.

“Mister Collins, I’m Tara. She’s Willow. All we want is to help you do your job right.”

“Really? Looks more to me like you’re trying to take away what I’ve been sent here for.”

“We told you. You’ve got the wrong Slayer,” Willow said again, not wavering in her own aim. Trouble was Tara could see that it was dripping and if that ran down Willow’s hand or onto another part of her skin... goodnight, sweet princess.

Willow was alert to it though. Right?

“Your friends are just asleep,” Tara said. “They’ll stay that way till sun rise then they’ll just wake up.”

At least that was what Willow had said, but they hadn’t exactly done a lot of research. No time.

“Well, I guess I’m supposed to thank you for not doing anything permanent then.”

“It’d be nice,” Willow said. “I’m going to get - ”

“No, you stay right where you are, red.”

Tara took the opportunity to sneak another half foot towards him. Was this about as far as she’d hit the second guy on the gantry from? Yeah, but she’d had gravity working for her then too. Another couple of steps and she might start to consider taking the risk.

If she had to.

“Now, I’ll tell you how it’s going to be, ladies,” he said. “You’re both going to open up the resevoirs, drain and then put the squirt guns down. After that you’re going to wake up my guys. Do that and I’ll listen to what you have to say. I’ll give you your hearing and we’ll take a look at that Slayer we’ve got in the back.”

“Sounds r-reasonable,” Tara said before Willow could interject and reject what he was offering.

“Tara - ”

“Do what he said,” she said. “Please, Willow.”

This was where trust had to kick in. Willow trusted her as a friend, as an – almost – lover. Trusted her secrets, her heart, body and soul. But was that enough when it came to trust that was about someone else? He could – though Tara doubted he would – shoot the two of them out of hand. She was hoping a Council dedicated to stopping the monsters in the world would have rules about that kind of thing.

But it looked like. He could do that anyway. He could’ve already shot Willow and then her, risking only whether a squirt of water would reach him.

Seemed pretty pathetic when you thought about it that way, but then the two guys up above who were down till dawn might’ve said otherwise, if they’d been able to do anything but snore right now.

And one of them was doing just that…

Willow looked at her, checking that what she’d said was actually what she wanted – and it was. If anyone was going to do anything then it wasn’t going to be Willow in that exposed a position. That was a no win spot she was in. Once Willow realised that she was serious, she turned on her side and drained the potion from the squirt gun before laying it down.

“Now you,” Collins said, turning to her.

“Absolutely,” Tara said. She held up the squirter, right up as high as she could by two fingers. This wasn’t going to be easy and it was going to need a magical assist that she was still figuring out from what Willow had told her about what she did to Adam.

Unplugging the water reserve she let it drain in front of her eyes – and her face – she let her eyes wander to Willow and found her girl looking right back at her, waiting for whatever the plan was. Oh, yeah, Willow knew there was a plan.

Finely balanced… the timing had to be just right. She couldn’t let too much drain, but enough that he got overconfident and… took a step in her direction. It was going to have to do.

Tara had been gathering her concentration, holding her breath too. Now she let both go in one giant exhale of magic and air at the same time. The potion laced water didn’t behave as she expected, turning into more of a mist as the force of the magic achieved far more than her breath could ever have hoped to.

The mist spattered across his face and he didn’t even have time to wonder before he was slumping and Willow caught the pistol neatly as it fell from his hand.

“Wow,” Willow gasped. “What was that?”

“Momma… for blowing out candles,” Tara explained. “I had trouble, I used to have chest problems - ”

“I’d never have known,” Willow said, carefully setting the gun aside. “Your chest’s lovely. But I’llstill rub it for you if you like.”

“Shush, minx. Do you want to know or not?”

“Your Mom taught you how out use magic to blow out a candle.”

“From across the room eventually,” she said.

“So… like you could blow in my ear from across the lecture theatre?” Willow asked, kneeling beside the newly sleeping man and pulling his hands from where they’d awkwardly fallen under him. Tara was impressed, she seemed to be taking some interest in his comfort.

“Uhuh. You know, if there was a straight line and no one in the way, but I could blow in your ear if I was next to you anyway, just like – eventually – I could blow out a candle. Seemed something that wasn’t much use.”

“I’m glad you thought about it though,” Willow said. “That was… inspired. And… it must’ve had a lot more force than you used to blow out a candle.”

“Yeah, it was inspired by you, by what you did to Adam.”

“For the record,” Willow said, hugging her and giving her a peck on the cheek, “please don’t blow in my ear that way. I think, maybe you’d blow my brain out the other side.”

“Okies,” Tara promised. She had no idea of being that far away from Willow anyway.

“That was great, I mentioned that. I mean… I had no idea you could be all sneaky and then the two guys and then the… You did all this.”

“We did it,” Tara insisted.

“No, see, you did it all.”

“You distracted him at a critical moment.”

“Hmm,” Willow considered. “I guess I did. You’re right, I’ll take some credit fro almost getting caught. But I guess you wouldn’t have even been here if it wasn’t for us getting together and I wouldn’t have been here if it wasn’t for you cos of how you spotted what had happened to Buffy - ”

Tara forestalled what was setting up to be a long, long sentence with a few well chosen words.

“Without you, I’d just be miserable.”

“Ohhh, that’s sweet. And sad. Sad and sweet. Good job you got me then, right?”

“I guess – we better go see to Buffy, I mean Faith. Who do I mean?”

“I hope we both mean Buffy,” Willow said, releasing her and jangling a set of keys that she’d obviously lifted from the fallen Collins.

“I thought you were trying to make him comfortable.”

“Yeah… that too. Anything left in that squirt gun of yours?” Willow asked.

“Umm, Some. Why?”

“Well, if this isn’t Buffy then… I don’t really want to use a real gun on her, even if it’s Faith, but she’s going to be pretty pissed.”

“So’s Buffy,” Tara reasoned. “I think it might be better if she sees you first.”

“But what if it’s really Faith?” Willow asked. “If Faith sees you she won’t know what’s going on. Me? Me she’ll just want to kick into next week on general principle.”

“Umm, together then?” Tara asked as Willow checked the keys for a likely contender.

“Right.”

Quietly as possible, Willow slipped the key into the lock. Nothing could be made out through the high mounted windows that seemed to be more for effect than to serve their obvious purpose. But where else was Faith/Buffy going to be?

Three. Willow indicated with her fingers.

Two. Tara took a breath and raised the squirt gun, just in case.

One.

Oh, they weren’t going on one. They were going…

Zero.

Willow twisted the key in the lock, triggering a number of clanks that seemed out of all proportion to the small movement she’d made and meant that they weren’t exactly hidden.

Then they opened the doors, met be the almost wild, unfamiliar face.

“S-s-stay there,” Tara said, pointing the squirt gun. “Please.” Didn’t hurt to be polite.

The brown eyes went from one to the other of them. Back again. Fixed on Willow.

“Willow, oh thank God.”

She and Willow looked at each other. “Buffy?” the other girl asked first.

“Who do you think I am?!”

“Well, you look kind of like Faith,” Willow said. “But gotta admit, you’re rocking that tank top.”

Buffy looked down, then tugged at the article in question, uncomfortable with the coverage. Or actually the lack of it. “I am, aren’t I? But – you know I’m me?”

“N-No,” Tara said.

“Tara?” Faith/Buffy asked. “Right?”

That was a good sign. Of course Buffy knew her while the Buffy at the Bronze hadn’t seemed to. They’d met before.

“What Tara means,” Willow started to explain, “is that us being here isn’t about who we think you are. More about who we don’t think the other Buffy is. That’s what brought us here.”

“Well, whatever happened, thank God, now lets get out of here. Before the Council team come back.”

“We took - ” Tara started.

“Tara took care of them,” Willow supplied.

“Really?”

“She’s like a ninja. And you don’t want to get in a water fight with her, seriously.”

Tara shrugged as Buffy looked at her curiously. “Okay, gift horses. Mouth. All that stuff. And talking of mouths… I’m really afraid I know where this one’s been and – eww. I need to kick that bitch in the teeth so hard that they shoot out of her backside.”

Tara took a breath, but Willow was already way ahead of her. “That’s your ass,” she said.

“And y-your teeth,” she added. “If you’re really Buffy.”

“Not that I don’t appreciate it, Will, but - what’s she doing here? Instead of the others,” Buffy asked. “And why exactly is she pointing a water pistol at me?”

“How do you think we got you out?” Willow asked. “Water pistol ninja… I told you.”

Actually, though it ignored the reality of why she was with Willow, now was most definitely not the time for that.

“Seriously, you got me out with a water pistol?”

“Let her down,” Willow said, nodding.

“You need to ask the question first,” Tara reminded her. They’d agreed on that.

“Oh. Right.”

“Question? What question.”

“A question to make sure you’re you. I mean, something Faith couldn’t know that you would. And something that I know too,” Willow explained. “So I know that you know and we know that you know so that we know we can let you out of there and not get torn apart by an evil Slayer. You know?”

“Will you let me out of here and stop pointing that squirt gun at me if I answer it?” Faith/Buffy asked with an edge of impatience that was entirely understandable but with that larynx – and chest – didn’t sound like Buffy at all.

It occurred to Tara that, with the benefit of height in the back of the truck as well as strength and speed from being a Slayer, she might not easily be able to stop whoever this was getting out of there anyway. Once that had come to her, she took half a step backwards, just to open up the range a little.

If this was really Faith then the pistol she was carrying and the limited amount of remaining potion within it might be the only thing between them and the wrath of a confined, somewhat unbalanced, Slayer.

Seemed like an overly flimsy kind of barrier and worth another, full, step back.

“We’ll do better than that,” Willow said. “Get that question right and we’ll try to find a way to swap you back with Faith so that we can watch while you give her that ass-kicking and teeth fly out of her backside.”

“Good enough. Go ahead then,” Faith/Buffy said.

“Who was the person who me and Xander hung out with, before you came to Sunnydale?”

“No. You can’t asked me that,” Faith/Buffy said.

“Why?”

“Because Xander’s boinked her. More like she boinked him and… now, standing here in her body that feels much ickier than it did when I first heard about it but… you don’t know what he told her. So… not that.”

“Umm,” Willow seemed to accept the logic and it sounded like the sort of answer that Buffy rather than Faith would give to that question. But it might’ve been that Faith just didn’t know the answer and was looking to justify another one she might have a chance with.

“And nothing about Angel.”

“Why not?”

“Because the Watcher’s have records, anyone could’ve said something about him to her.”

Willow’s expression said that had been her next thought. “Okay… lets think here.”

“Want to hurry it up, brainiac?”

“Oooh, that’s it. What was the first paper I helped you with?” Willow asked.

“You expect me to remember that?”

“I do… but okay, that may be a little obscure. There’ve been so many. Try this… You bought… umm… something… when we were in San Diego this summer.”

“Way to be specific,” Faith/Buffy criticised.

Tara had to admit that she had no idea what her girl was talking about, which might be kind of the point.

“Something for a girl without a boyfriend…” Willow said, giving away way too much instead.

“Willow!”

“Okay, sorry, but you told me I couldn’t ask my other, pre-prepared questions. So… I ask you this. What did you say you were going to name it?”

“Willow…” Faith/Buffy rumbled warningly.

“No one else will ever know,” Willow promised, miming zipping her lips. Tara did the same when Buffy looked to her. After all who was she going to tell when she didn’t even want to know.

“Bob…” Buffy whispered. “Bob. Like… Bob the Bunny. Okay?”

Willow’s obvious relief was enough of a cue to determine that Buffy was Buffy and just looked like Faith. “Welcome back,” Willow said, waving at Tara to lower the water pistol.

Buffy’s emergence from the van was accompanied by some stretching which anyone would’ve thought looked interesting… Guess that was what happened when you weren’t used to either your body or the clothes you’d been left in. She turned her back and let Willow draw her attention to it instead.

But once that embarrassment as over and done with then, Buffy’s low whistle when she saw the three guys they’d taken down to get into the van was one of obvious appreciation. “You two really did all this, Will?”

“Nope,” Willow had probably never been so happy to deny credit. “I told you, Tara did. I was a distraction at the right moment, we’ve agreed that. But if she hadn’t figured out that there was something wrong with you then we’d still all have been partying with Faith.”

“Wow… guess we know whose side you’re on then,” Buffy said to her.

“There was never any doubt,” Willow said, slipping an arm through hers. “Ready to get out of here?”

“What about them,” Buffy asked, glancing at the men.

“They’ll wake up in the morning,” Tara explained.

“And by then,” Willow added, “we hope to have something to swap you back.”

“Really?”

“It’s where the book learning comes in and Tara can totally help.”

“Oh, the dull stuff.”

“I’d have thought,” Willow said, “that by now you’d be looking for anything that works?”

“Amen, sister. Sisters, even. I mean… yeah, thanks. Thanks, Tara.”

“That’s okay, I was glad to help.”

***************************

[DaddyCatALSO]

Well, the Take Charge Tara theme in the form of a chapter in an on-going saga. Well done!

Completely plausible way to incorporate the practical moagick into the overall story. And, as reasonable as the leader was acting, gald W&T *didn't* have to depend on his good intentions.

[Willow_Friendly]

love Willow's embarrassing questions to see if it is really Buffy Can't wait the next update!!

[Missocki]

Squee!!!!
I'm gunna come back there when I'm more verbose.

[Grimm]

First, I raise my hand to the question in the notes section. My mind stays in the gutter... lol

I love what you've done with this story. You are one of my favorite writers because you always manage to empower Tara. I hate it when she's reduced to being a mere accessory of Willow's like they did in the show.

Cliffhangers make me sad. So, I'm glad I got to read both updates at the same time. Clever plan to enchant the water..That was a very Willowy thing to do.

Gotta agree with Tara about Diana possibly going Rip-shit-ride em on those Council guys. Plus, I could see Travers and Co. either try to capture her or force her to unleash hell on that entire Organization, after finding out her location. I'm sure Uncle Hades wouldn't mind lending a hand .

Bob the Bunny....LMAO!!!

[Kajun]

Katharyn aka peep , Who knew being terrorized by her jerk brother would end up helping her years down the road? He’s still an ass and I refuse to give him any credit for Tara’s ability to elude the bad guys. I’m bitter that way –LOL

The girls sounded pretty convincing but logic isn’t particularly a strong suit for anyone, except perhaps Giles, working with the Watcher’s Council. Tara made a smart choice in taking him out. Neat trick too!

Asking Buffy to remember anything that involved academics is a very Willow-y thing to do. She would have known it wasn’t Buffy if the Slayer had actually answered –LOL. Bob the Bunny? Anya would have many things to say about that name choice! I like that you came up with a question that even we didn’t know the answer to. Well done and hilarious!

I’m thinking the book learning won’t be dull with Tara in the mix --At least.. not until after the Scoobies find out, and get accustomed to, the fact that Tara is Willow’s girl. In the meantime.. Buffy knows Tara is on their side ---HOORAY!!!

[Katharyn]

Than you all so much. It's a special part, you've all been looking forwards to the Flaming O and so I've decided to post it a day early... right after I deal with this feedback.

Daddycatalso - I pretty much live for Take Charge Tara (or making her that person!) as I will reflect on in my reply to Grimm below. So, yeah, she just works for me. Glad she works for you too And as I admitted in earlier feedback, the idea wasn't entirely mine... just the method of how it was applied. Certainly pleased that you could buy into it though. Thanks!

Willow_friendly - Heya. I realised, because I have been redrafting my way through (up to about part 125 now) and also writing another 'bonus part' that will have to wait a long while to be seen, you are all going to think I am sex-toy mad. It's inevitable. You look at this fic in totality and you're going to think that. I would just like to point out that my screen name in chat with certain venerable kittens was 'Fingers'. And for a reason. So... yeah, just defending myself...

I nearly had to go research when the rabbit came out... I was certain some Kitten would know and pull me up on it. But hey, run with it Thanks!

Missocki - Not yet verbose? I just like it for people to check in! Thanks.

Grimm - Well I knew where YOUR mind would be. LOL. It's YOU that I suspect I have a massive collection of toys when you've finished with all this... Not so (and I could be exaggerating, but they do come up a few times!)

As mentioned above, Tara is clearly my fave of the pair as I can relate to her much more not as myself but as a GF type figure. Who the hell wants a 'accessory' GF? Not me... She's empowered because I can't be interested in writing her if she's not and I am very interested in writing her!

I'm not going to comment on your thoughts about what could happen... Might/Not...

Thanks so much

Kajun - Hey, I know the kind of peeping you want to do...

Well, see Flaming O in next post...

Fine, I just couldn't find a way to kill Donny. I wanted to kill so many people but it's not that story LOL. Sidestep, I killed him there though...

Tara's neat trick? Picture a writer with some water in a gun, no way to use it without being shot and no idea what to do... Umm... blow? Hmm, sounds like it needs a magic assist

I had no idea about Bob the Bunny... This will become relevant later perhaps! (See notes above!) Maybe I need to pick that up and deal with it Nice idea! Hope I remember!

As for what Buffy knows... read on. And thank you.

Now I just have to hope you enjoy Flaming O and the circumstances... It's meant to be funny

Katharyn

[Katharyn]

Part 42, the answer to everything, is Flaming O... How did that work out that way?

K

Title: Tara and Willow – Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda – Chapter Forty-Two
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Absolutely, yes please. That’s why I write for this place, to engage in the discussion about the story.
Spoiler warning: Not sure why I am bothering, really, but Season 4 and Season 5 of BTVS.
Distribution: This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens and the Kitten Board please. No conversion to eBook or other formats please. Enjoy it here.
Summary: Following the story of the two Season 4 Faith episodes – kind of – Tara and Willow need to find a way to get Buffy and Faith switched back. Yeah, that means what you think it means. Kind of.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc. I am making no money from this series of stories however all original characters and situations remain my property. As this is a missing scenes and alternate reality fiction lots of scenes are new versions of those seen in the show, as such dialogue and situations are taken from the show. I’m sure you can tell which. All credit for those aspects goes to the original writers.
Rating: Occasional, tasteful, adult situations and contextual bad language. However by and large equivalent to the show.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever, that’s all I’m bothered about.
Text convention: Use of italics denotes either special emphasis if used for a single or a few words in a sentence OR first person thoughts if used for a whole sentence.
Notes: So I alluded to it in the last chapter. A big part of how that one played out was intentionally to avoid Tara and Willow just resorting to ‘big magic’ all the time.
Sure, they do some of that and they’ll do some more – but there’s a price to be paid. Most obviously I’m trying to avoid what happened in Sidestep (of which I regret nothing – it was just a different story) where Tara, especially, had some skills and powers that she honed and then, over time. And, after meeting Willow, they grew. That was fine, it worked for the story, but by the end of Sidestep 2 they were so uber-powerful that there was really nowhere for them to go and I had to make Sidestep 3 happen in such a way that wasn’t a factor. Not so in this world... Here magic isn’t a first resort.
Now, of course, in this part we do have one of those uses of magic that were in the canon to show that they were having sex, without actually showing it. But I have them not having sex – least ways they thing there are places still to go – in this version… I’m not certain how all this fits in, but basically I’m saving their ‘all the way’ moment for the end of Hush. So what happens here has a different purpose again…
Thanks to: There’s a direct lift of some lines from the canon into this part so (as already mentioned above) thanks and credit to those who wrote it. Why would I make up my own spell to do the same thing? And try as I might, I can’t think of a way to hack Faith back into her own body!



“I’d be glad to help,” Buffy said, sitting there and looking way too much like Faith for Willow to feel all that comfortable in her presence. Even though the words and the manner were all Buffy, the look… pure Faith.

“I’m not sure you can, Fa – Buff,” Willow said. “I mean… this is kind of a magic thing.”

“It’s okay,” Buffy said, “I understand. You’re both witches and I’m not. I should get used to being a minority and just go with it.”

Also, it was harder to tell when Buffy-as-Faith was teasing. All the cues she’d grown to know over the years had been blown away and now she was struggling to deal with a sense of humour that just didn’t fit in the body it was sitting in.

Buffy had her own struggles though. “Nothing fits!”

“Well, she’s got more going on up top than you have,” Willow said, trying to be reasonable and wondering if there was any change, any change in her, which explained why she’d noticed that all of a sudden? “Did you ever notice how she always made the most of it?.”

No, it nothing to do with her. Facts were facts. And it wasn’t like she was remotely attracted to this new Faith even though she was a definite improvement over the old one because not a murdering slut-bitch. But… Yeah.

“Yeah, but...”

There was something weird about all this. It was Buffy, her roommate and friend, but it wasn’t. It was Faith, but it wasn’t. It was like the school ho trying to dress as a wallflower – except not at all like that.

Tara, meanwhile, was undoubtedly steering the best course through all this. Rather than watching what was going on, instead she was studiously paying attention to the preparation for the spell. Better that than Buffy/Faith who’d been in various states of undress since they got back here. Buffy was trying to find something she could wear that made her less Faith-y and more… herself.

When you were in another girl’s skin that seemed like it might be a bit of a forlorn hope.

Whether Buffy would mind that she was undressing, repeatedly, in the presence of a couple of lesbians? Time would tell. She shouldn’t because that wasn’t how it worked but… They’d worry about that when they didn’t have body swaps to worry about.

“Buffy’s got into Faith’s pants,” Willow joked as her roommate tried zipping what were actually her own pants up, making Tara smile at least.

“Ha ha.”

“Actually, Faith’s gotten into Buffy’s – kind of,” Tara said, but she was clearly a little self-conscious about joining in.

Willow, on the other hand, regarded it as progress. The Tara she’d first met probably wouldn’t have made that joke. Oh, she’d have been here because she’d have been willing to help virtually anyone who needed it, that was just who Tara Maclay was. But the joke? Probably not.

So they were both changing. They were becoming – as she liked to think of it – the two individuals that they’d be when they were together. A little of this, a little of that. Too little of that, so far, but she was hoping. A little of both of them in each.

Yeah, too little of that going on too.

“Thanks for this,” Willow said, leaning forwards over Tara’s shoulder, resisting the urge to kiss that delicious – not in a vampy way - neck.

“It’s not biggie,” Tara replied. “I’m happy to help you – both of you, all of you… you know?”

“I know.” She ran a finger up under Tara’s chin, lifted her head up to meet her eyes. “This’ll be a first. We’ve never done anything here before.”

They were in the room she shared with Buffy and that was… cool. There was more room in the middle of the floor between their two sides of the room. Also, it seemed like a good idea to have somewhere they could stash Buffy-as-Faith. At least for now.

Those watcher guys wouldn’t wake up for another few hours yet, but when they did… They knew her name. Probably wouldn’t take them long to track her down.

“We… do probably want to leave here sooner than later,” she said.

“Yeah,” Buffy said. “Definitely. I have to find Faith.”

Willow winced, only Tara could see it. She had a pretty good idea about where Faith-as-Buffy might be and Buffy wasn’t going to like it one bit, even if Eddie was – or had been - enjoying it a whole lot. Telling Buffy about that would just result in her charging off in a rage and – in effect – beating herself up. Best case.

She might even kill herself. Sort of.

And that wouldn’t get her anywhere so Willow was happy – not happy exactly but content at least – to let things go for now and not say anything. She’d answer for it later, when her friend looked like her friend again but by then, gratitude for other things might’ve kicked in and rescued her.

So what if Buffy got stuck this way? What if they failed?

She wasn’t quite sure that she could learn to love this Buffy after everything that had happened with Faith over the years. It might be true that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and – as Tara had admitted – Faith was easy on the eye in a slutty kind of way, but looking at Buffy-as-Faith, it was too easy to still see her as Faith… ‘Shouldn’t’ judge that book didn’t mean ‘wouldn’t.’

Or ‘couldn’t.’

“R-ready,” Tara said quietly.

“Yeah. Oh, it wasn’t a question. You mean you are ready…?”

“I’m ready. You’re ready. W-We’re ready.”

“Great!” the voice from in front of her said. Buffy was getting impatient as she went back to one of the tops that fitted the best. “We’re all ready. What do you want me to do?”

“Nothing,” Willow said. “Just… Buffy, I know you’re not going to like this. But - please don’t do anything. Nothing at all. No matter what happens. Or what you think is happening.”

“No matter what?”

“Well, if some evil creature bursts through and looks like it’s trying to eat us then… yeah, you can do your thing. But apart from that… nothing. Thanks.”

“Bursts through from where?”

“The other side.”

“Is that likely? I mean – me and Mister Pointy are up for it, we’d just like a little warning is all.”

Willow looked to Tara for an opinion. The spell had been her idea after all, based on something she’d read about. And yeah, there were risks… What, exactly, the risks were a little less clear. But they were reaching into another dimension, searching for the thing that would allow Buffy to reverse what had been done to her.

Done to both of them, really… Sure as anything Faith hadn’t done magic to achieve it, she was betting on it being something left over from the Mayor’s day. Tara had already spoken – claiming Diana’s authority - to Ethan and believed him when he said it wasn’t one of his tricks.

So yeah, the Mayor. Must be how Faith had gotten her hands on the whatever it was. Might be they’d need to take an extended look at his old properties and haunts, if this was the sort of thing his leavings could do.

“I don’t think so…” Willow hedged as she answered Buffy’s question. ‘I told you so’ was fine if they were all alive to hear it.

“Great, my friend’s been messing around with magic for a few years already and only now do you tell me something evil – probably with big teeth – can tear its way out from the others side and eat you?”

Maybe it was just the proximity to Tara, a teeny, tiny little bit of frustration about how far their relationship hadn’t yet gone, but all this talk of eating… She was thinking of the wrong things. Wrong. Wrong. But very right.

“You should just be lucky we ruled out hyenas,” Willow said.

“You thought maybe I was possessed by hyenas?”

“I had to wonder,” Willow replied. “It’s not like it’s never happened before. But Tara realised you’d swapped instead of just being possessed so… no hyena’s. I’m counting that as a result. I didn’t like the hyena thing.”

“None of us liked the hyena thing. So… Tara’s like this really powerful witch then?” Buffy asked.

“Not really,” Tara said, shaking her head.

“Absolutely,” Willow said, nodding at the same time. Then they met eyes and she had to smile, but it was a secret smile. One that was just for them.

“Cool,” Buffy-as-Faith said. “So… you’re ready?”

“We’re – Oh, go on. Just say. Once. Try it on for size.”

“No.”

“Say it, come on. Might as well have something to remember this by,” Willow said.

“No!” Buffy insisted.

“Say wh-what?” Tara asked, plainly confused.

“Oh, with Faith nothing’s ever just ‘okay’ or ‘ready.’ It has to be like, ‘Five by Five.’ Now you tell me, what does that even mean?”

“Twenty-five?” Tara guessed.

“See! That’s what I said,” the girl on the bed but not in her own body said. “Twenty-five. I’m sure it’s about twenty-five.”

Willow shook her head, “I actually looked it up. It’s some sort of military thing, but just because I know that, doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear Buffy say it… Come on, or we’ll have to do some more reading.” Now there was a threat.

“Willow…” Tara’s voice was low, perhaps a little warning that she didn’t think teasing was a great idea right now. Maybe because everyone was a product of their hormones – all their hormones – and Buffy’s were very different in that body than they had been in her own.

Maybe they should worry about how she’d react?

Probably Tara was right. But this was one thing she wanted. There were more, but not while Buffy was with them.

“Fine. Fine. We’re five by five,” Buffy said, doing her best Faith impression which with her body, face, voice and everything else that was physical was pretty damn good. Except for the part where she couldn’t make herself put any real feeling into it. “How are you?”

“We’re good, we’re ready. Tara has the book, we’ve read the book and… we don’t think anything nasty’s gonna come out so, yeah, we’re ready.”

“And what, exactly, are we – are you doing?”

“Well - ” Willow started, but then hesitated. Tara seemed about to answer and it was her idea, her credit and she actually had a clue. “You go ahead.”

“I – I, well I think we can find a passage to one of the nether realms,” Tara said. “If – if Willow can find you there then she should be able to see, then it’s – well, it’s not simple, but she should be able set a katra – here - that – that will swap you back.”

“I didn’t follow much of that.”

“I – I didn’t explain very well.”

“But Katra?” Buffy asked. “Wait… hold on. There was a movie you and Xander made me watch, Will… Space… The Search for Doctor Spock! Right?”

“I think it was p-probably Mister Spock,” Tara concluded.

“The Search for Spock,” Willow said, not exactly impressed with either of them, but happier with Tara. “You both need schooling. The point here is that with the katra we can probably swap you back.”

“Swap me back, cool. Let’s do that,” Buffy confirmed. “I’m liking this plan.”

Because it ended with Faith’s ass being kicked? Yeah, they all liked that plan but it was pretty much a given. Faith’s ass was getting kicked anyway, the only question was whose ass it would actually be.

“You understand this won’t happen now, right?” Willow asked.

“All we’re doing is preparing the way. The swap will n-need physical contact with Faith,” Tara said.

“Oh, good. That was exactly what I hoped you’d say.” The edge of threat didn’t seem at all alien coming from Faith’s mouth either. So, okay… violence being planned for.

“And it needs something of yours, right bab – right Tara?” Willow caught herself just in time. Still not the moment to be doing the ‘outing’ thing. But when this went well, Buffy would have to see that – right from the beginning – Tara wasn’t to be doubted. That she wouldn’t just be good as a girlfriend, but could actually be… essential.

Even though she’d never actually asked if Tara wanted to be essential to anyone but her.

She could do as much or as little as she liked though, from nothing up through full on Scooby. Tara got a choice. Just for being her and generally, all around, wonderful.

“Bitch has my stuff,” Buffy said, even though she was surrounded by it. “Did you know she went to my house? My house? She spoke to my Mom… She could’ve done anything.”

“We know,” Willow assured her. “But your Mom’s okay, apart from some busted furniture… once we get you back where you should be, she won’t even have to know what was happening then. So… could we have something of yours?”

Buffy reached into the drawer beside her bed, opened the little ballerina musical box and produced a ring. “Will you end up melting it or anything?”

Uncertain, Willow looked to Tara who shook her head. “No?”

“This isn’t just mine, it was my grandmothers.”

“Umm,” she looked to Tara again and found only a shrug. A beautiful shrug, but a shrug all the same. God, this girl was just hot… Some people might’ve said Faith was hot, they really might. But compared to Tara… Tara just oozed hotness.

Okay. Breathe.

“Maybe you want to pick something else?”

“No… I can never wear it anyway, it’s fugly.” Buffy tossed it to her, Willow made the grab, missed and it went sailing over to Tara who caught it without appearing to look.

“Nice catch,” Willow said, taking the ring and examining it.

“Sometimes I can do that sporty stuff,” Tara said, smiling a little.

“And this is a fugly ring. I didn’t think I knew what ‘fugly’ meant, but now I do.” She showed it to Tara who winced. “We’ll definitely try not to melt it though.”

‘Try’ being the operative word in that sentence. You just never know how things were going to go.

“We join hands right?” Willow checked as they moved into position.

“Umm, p-palms together,” Tara said. “N-no, not both – like this.”

Tara moved until they were facing in opposite directions, diagonally from each other, but with just the one palm in contact, their arms forming a sort of S which had a power, being half of the symbol for infinity. It wasn’t infinity that they wanted. The limit was them, what they needed and would ask for.

“I’m your anchor,” Tara said as they both slipped automatically slipped into the meditative routine that Diana had drilled them in. Would that never stop being useful?

“Anchor? Why does she need an anchor?” Buffy asked.

“Buffy, please,” Willow said. They needed calm. Maybe this would’ve been better with just the two of them but… whatever.

“It’s to k-keep her on this plane,” Tara said. “Without an anchor she could get lost in the nether realms.”

“Better than the nether regions,” Buffy murmured, but otherwise lapsed into the requested silence.

Willow couldn’t quite agree and neither, she noticed, could Tara. Before she closed her eyes, she shared a wink with the girl whose nether regions she was getting more and more interested in.

Tara rolled those pretty blue eyes and then closed them.

“I trust you,” Willow murmured.

“This isn’t - ”

“I trust you.”

And there it was.

-------------------------------

Willow’s eyes were firmly closed and her breathing had dropped away so far that had they not been so close, if the pulse of her heart and her being hadn’t been rippling through their connection, Tara might’ve worried.

Love.

Trust.

It was all there, no wonder Willow was so relaxed. She was the anchor though, she was the one who had to be paying more attention, keeping both of them rooted in this reality. She hadn’t mentioned that to Willow, not wanting to worry her. If Willow drifted – or was snatched – away then it was perfectly possible that same love and trust might pull her along too.

Because she wasn’t letting go. The anchor was more secure, that was true, but the risks were comparably greater for both of them.

She pressed her thumb to Willow’s forehead. It was a measure of how relaxed Willow was that when she repeated the motion to her lips, her girl didn’t even try to kiss it.

Tara felt as Willow started to stir the waters of the nether realms, already making the crossing. So fast, on her first time? She joined the motion, pressed her thumb to Willow’s chest this time. Mind. Spirit. Heart.

"Sightless sea, Ayala flows through the river in me.
The inward eye, the sightless sea.
Ayala flows through the river in me.
The inward eye, the sightless sea.
Ayala flows through the river in me.
The inward eye, The sightless sea.
Ayala flows through the river in me.”

Both of them said the words, but the words were without meaning lacking the intent and the intent was there, it was pure. She had some inkling of the pressure, the energy that was building, but by now it was far too late to worry about that. They were in the sightless sea, the waters were warm and relaxing… tempting. The river flowed not just in her, or in Willow, but through the pair of them… or it would. It was gathering, like a tidal surge and it was… going to flow through Willow.

She knew this, she accepted it because it would carry Willow through to the nether realms on the wave of warmth…

“The inward eye, The sightless sea...”

Energy gathered, built and circled them. It was a sensation that was pure perfection. Her sightless eyes took in the brightness around them, even through her closed eyelids. She had a dim perception of someone’s gasp of surprise. But it wasn’t Willow… There was no Willow. There was no Tara. They were joined, they were communal. There was Willow and Tara but no individual, not at that moment. Enclosed in energy, reflected in energy, made of nothing but energy.

And it was energy that ebbed, flowed and surged in her. Eager for release, eager for the part that was Willow….

At the moment it felt… connected, they pressed their palms together and then there was no calm, meditation or not. Their breath was heavy by now and there was a slickness between their palms, down her back… On her face. She was the reflection of Willow and Willow of her.

Energy surged, seeking, wanting, and needing release… rushing through from the centre her chi, through her whole body and through their physical connection into Willow… Snatching for breath now, the flow of living energy that Willow needed to get where she was going was suddenly within and both their eyes opened, met instantly at that very moment. They were surrounded by a circle of fire, they were sweating, breathing hard. They were together.

They were one.

And there was no holding it back… Willow was falling – no – arching backwards, pressing her breasts out… falling back to the rug, her hips going up in the air as she… moaned.

-------------------------

“I… I…”

“Don’t try to talk,” a voice said. A voice? Tara’s voice.

“Are you okay?” Strange… danger… Faith… Oh… Buffy.

“I… I am very okay,” then she realised what that other voice meant, that she wasn’t alone with Tara and… umm. “Okay, I think, maybe, this is just a little awkward.”

“Uh, you think?” Buffy asked as Tara helped her sit up and smoothed her clothes for her. Apparently she’d been so taken that… yeah… She might’ve found uses for her hands other than pressing them up against Tara’s. Fortunately that hadn’t gone further than showing a little skin.

“Oh. My.”

“I think, maybe, you broke her,” Buffy-as-Faith said. “No wonder everyone thinks witches are lesbians… goddamn.”

“She-she’s fine,” Tara said. “She just needs a moment.”

A moment. Yeah. That sounded great. Except… she’d had a moment. And what a moment. What a long, drawn out moment that had been. With Tara. Her touch. Her energy… Tara.

“I’ll bet,” Buffy said. “Wow… I think I want to be a witch now.”

“It’s not all… Not all like this,” Willow gasped. “In fact, it’s never usually like this, is it?”

Tara shook her head. “N-not for me.”

“You ever do this again,” Buffy said. “You might want to think of doing it in private. We’re roommates but… Will, that’s like way too much information. I don’t’ want to know what you look like when you… do that.”

“Oh,” Willow said, “Next time we do anything like that, it’ll be in private, I absolutely promise you.” But it was Tara she was looking at. And she was the one person she very much wanted to see her like that… again.

“So… did it work?”

“I… don’t know. I mean, it worked for me but… you knew that right?”

“We got the idea,” Buffy said.

“Actually,” Tara said, then decided against it. “Umm – sorry - nothing.”

What? Willow mouthed.

Later, came the silent reply.

“So, it did work? If it didn’t then I’m gonna have to guess you want to try again because… who wouldn’t?”

“I don’t know if it worked,” Willow said. “How would I know?” Tara was the expert here, it had been her idea, after all.

“Your h-hand’s green.”

Afraid for a moment that it looked like she’d pushed it down a chemical toilet, or looked like it was rotting away, she lifted her arm and saw… nothing like that. It was like there was a great, green light source in her hand where she’d previously had the fugly ring.

And, on examination, that was exactly what it was.

“Where’s my ring?” Buffy asked.

“Umm…”

“Doesn’t matter,” Buffy prompted, getting down on her knees beside them. “Is that this Spock thing you were on about?”

“A K-Katra,” Tara said. “It should be…”

“You don’t know?”

“She’s never seen one before,” Willow pointed out, leaping to Tara’s defence before she even needed it.

“Down girl, damn this Faith face – and voice. I mean, I wasn’t doubting her, just… well, I was hoping someone here would know. But since my usual go-to-girl for the magic stuff is still getting over the fricking orgasm she just had, I’ll accept Tara’s word for it.”

“Good. I mean – that wasn’t an orgasm.” Was it?

“I guess, I don’t think orgasms come with rings of fire,” Buffy said. “Of course, what do I know? I’ve never had one with anyone else in the room and oh-my-god, did I just say that? Nevermind – Umm, so is the katra?”

Buffy had never… with someone else? But…

On the other hand look at her background. One night with Angel when he turned evil. One night with Parker who didn’t sound like he was too bothered about anyone but himself and… not much with Eddie yet.

Yeah… Eddie.

“Look – I think we have to say ‘yes’, because, I don’t think we have much choice about it really,” Willow added. “It is what it is and… something that glows so prettily and green couldn’t be evil could it?”

“I wasn’t actually worried about it being evil,” Buffy said. “I didn’t think evil was an option. Is evil an option?”

“N-No,” Tara said. “I’d have known. Felt it. S-so it’s just about whether it will work, if it will do what you need it to.”

“What if it doesn’t?” Buffy asked, probably not expecting an answer. “I want Faith out of my body.”

“You wear hers better than she does,” Willow said, trying to be helpful.

“Really? Well, what do you know? You can take the skanky slut out of the girl after all…”

“Yeah… about that.”

“About what?”

“The skanky slut…”

“Willow?”

“Umm… Eddie…”

*************************

[Missocki]

Dibs! Woah!
This chapter is crazy!
More feedback in a bit...

[Willow_Friendly]

Loved your take of the spell and Buffy's reaction to it. And can't wait for the next Update because it's getting better and better

[faolan228]

Wow, a lot of chapters I had to catch up on! Okay, can I just say I love how natural this feels? Tara fits into these plots and episodes she wasn't originally a part of seamlessly, though that may be more a testament to your skills than anything else.

Faith's not in my dead pool. You broke her neck once already, m'am, and I could go without that again xD

[DaddyCatALSO]

Hmm, as Buffy would (??will??) say under different circumstances "Wow . . . that was just . . . . wow."

Interesting assumption that the katra appeared as a result of the spell instead of being somethign W&T had to make after, as implied ont the show.
I'm no critic so I won't go into the literary significance of their having an audience for what amounts to a first time. I will say I appreciated that Buffy felt as uncomfortable -truly within established character- as they did; it's not something she'd want to intrude on. And, given Buffy doesn't have "that kind" of an imagination, I'm glad she takes the conservative view insetad of making any they-would-be-justified-in-thsi-case-but-aren't-always-under-similar-circumstances-with-all-people assumptions.

So, now to find Faith; curious to see how close you follow canon with that.

[Grimm]

‘Shouldn’t’ judge that book didn’t mean ‘wouldn’t.’

Or ‘couldn’t.’

I see what you did there...lol

The Flamming O spell in front of an audience...... . Talk about AWKWARD!

I really enjoyed what you did here. This came off very funny and not at all heavy. It will make their " go all the way " moment all the more satisfying.

Poor, poor Eddie.....

[JustSkipIt]

Oh my god! That was just priceless. I think Buffy in Faith is even funnier than Buffy in Buffy. And her seeing the Flaming O and then commenting on it is fantastic. I love the water gun breakout. I kept thinking that they were going to switch Buffy and Faith and that when they did they would have a pissed-off Faith in the room with them so I'm glad that the just conjured a Katra. Hmmm. Certainly it wouldn't be on Buffy's agenda but wouldn't this be a totally awesome inappropriate time to come out to Buffy? I mean "hey, we just saved your life this is Tara who I love." Not going to happen but great updates.

[Kajun]

Katharyn, So now there is a new way for us to imagine the Flaming O spell –sorta. LOL If simple hand holding with Tara produces an extra pleasurable sensation due to a combo of magic energy and physical attraction, a spell of this magnitude would inevitably create a euphoric sensation. You’re not using magic as a metaphor for sex so, technically, this was more of a spiritual orgasm. Tara (and I) would have been mortified otherwise considering they had an audience. It’s all kinda blurry but that is the joy of individual interpretation. So.. basically.. Willow used a mystical based technology called the Essence of Tara, got beamed-up and created a Spock thing. LOL I prefer the idea that when W/T make love for the first time, it will be equally pleasurable and because they need/want it for themselves and each other, not as a necessity to defeat the bad guy.

I feel sorry for Buffy, especially after her accidental admission that she never had a big O with a partner. Soon she must deal with the fall-out from whatever Faith has been up to with Eddie. Logic says he didn’t cheat since he couldn’t have known about the switch but still.. things were done to Buffy, physically and emotionally, without her consent. Geez.. I hope Eddie didn’t propose!

Loved Willow outing herself to a “still” clueless BFF and Tara chiming in about pants and all the rest. Now I won’t be surprised if Buffy becomes a Wannablessedbe! LOL Hilarious stuff, as usual!

[Katharyn]

Hi all, thank you very much for your support and words.

I rarely do this, but I'm going to sit and clarify my intent a little.

I'm detecting a little of - and kind of expected more from other readers who may not have fed back - two sorts of reactions to this part. When I say 'expected' I actually suddenly realised not long before posting it... 'Ohhhhh'

So, yeah... The two main schools of thought on this struck me as:

1) Oh no! Flaming O? In front of Buffy?
2) Oh wow! Accidental orgasm? In front of Buffy?

Slight differences and very much simplified... but I was very much aiming for the second (which isn't to say the first reading is wrong, you take what you find from this like any writing.) But I will choose to explain myself... In my intentions... a) Magic doesn't equal sex. Sex equals sex in this version. b) The girls are doing just fine without spells in terms of intimacy. c) Those two things said, this isn't any version of 'a first time' in the way I intended it. Possibly Willow's first orgasm with Tara (if you want to call it one) but... not intended as such.

But I totally see how you can read that another way. It's (partly) a missing scene fic and based around canon, so you can absolutely read it the other way... Which isn't as 'fun.'

I've said it before and you will see it soon enough... The girls will have their 'real' first time during New Moon Rising and what happened here won't even compare... so... I hope you can see past it if this bothers you even a little. I was just aiming for funny, full clothed, accidental, flaming O...

Missocki - Crazy? I guess so! I had to explain myself! Thanks

Willow_friendly - thanks, I really enjoyed the spell part. It's a slightly different kind of writing every time I venture into that shared conciousness part. The words from canon laid the groundwork, of course, but yeah - it was nice to have that chance. Next update will be today, a little less eventful as the girls discuss this... then we push on to sort out Faith

Faolan - Nice to have you back! Inserting Tara into the story is the fun, of course, but actually quite easily done when you sit back and look at the structure and what the girls need to be involved in. Killing Faith wouldn't really follow canon now would it? So I probably won't do that... But way to go spoiling a ten year old completed fic!

Daddycatalso - Thanks! The Katra thing, umm, that's just me misremembering and the script I the episode summary I browsed not being clear! As I've said above, I never treated this as a 'first time' for them, not until I considered how others might see it when it was too late to change! But it was obvious, even to me, that Buffy had to be uncomfortable with that. When tracking down Faith, it will follow canon somewhat - but that does (unfortunately) take the girls out of the picture. There's just no reason for them to be intimately involved in that. Which is why we get a 'quieter' next part... But hey, they did their bit against the council!

Grimm - And I think I may have done it somewhere else too! See, for better or worse, you're on my wavelength (you should probably be disturbed!) Hee! Thanks

Justskipit - I have to say, there is something about writing body-swapped Buffy that is extra fun - even for me who is (unexpectedly) enjoying writing her at all. Faith's fun. Buffy's kind of fun. Faith in Buffy or vice versa (aside from being innuendo gold) is just bound to be great. I did consider the idea of them actually swapping the two somehow in that rescue scene, but that would've meant blowing off the Flaming O so... nah This is why some things have to happen, so I can justify other things! Same thing with the outing to Buffy... Has to happen in NMR really, just as in canon... Those lines are just too perfect to lose. Thanks

Kajun - Yeah, I may have ramped up the stakes with the 'I tingle when you touch me' thing... and yes, if you want to call it an orgasm (and I have) then it's gonna be a pretty great one. I did consider Buffy stealing from 'When Harry Met Sally' with "I'll have what she's having" but... nah. Needless to say the pair of them - and Buffy - are all embarrassed. Aside from Willow 'during' no one was really having a great time! The Buffy revelation was actually a pretty late addition, but when you think about it... well, totally possible. Though whether she will expect Flames from Eddie, I am not yet sure!

Thanks all. Next part later today.

Katharyn

[Katharyn]

Title: Tara and Willow – Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda – Chapter Forty-Three
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Absolutely, yes please. That’s why I write for this place, to engage in the discussion about the story.
Spoiler warning: Not sure why I am bothering, really, but Season 4 and Season 5 of BTVS.
Distribution: This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens and the Kitten Board please. No conversion to eBook or other formats please. Enjoy it here.
Summary: In the aftermath of the Katra spell and Buffy finding out about Faith and Eddie…
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc. I am making no money from this series of stories however all original characters and situations remain my property. As this is a missing scenes and alternate reality fiction lots of scenes are new versions of those seen in the show, as such dialogue and situations are taken from the show. I’m sure you can tell which. All credit for those aspects goes to the original writers.
Rating: Occasional, tasteful, adult situations and contextual bad language. However by and large equivalent to the show.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever, that’s all I’m bothered about.
Text convention: Use of italics denotes either special emphasis if used for a single or a few words in a sentence OR first person thoughts if used for a whole sentence.
Notes: To be fair Willow is guessing about FaithasBuffy and Eddie (or Riley in the canon) but the signs seemed to be pretty clear in canon… Also, it may seem strange to let time pass this way, but if you look at the structure of the episodes day does follow night before Buffy tracks Faith down (or vice versa in a physical sense) So, yeah, the girls get some time alone in the midst of a crisis. I suspect, Willow at least, has learned to pace herself 
I made a little bit of a mess with the first draft of this part. Because I stopped writing the chaper midway through a scene, I accidentally switched perspectives within that one. I’ve tried to switch it all to be consistent, but something may have slipped through. Don’t hate me!
Thanks to: Well, I love my MacBook. But I don’t have a spread sheet like Willow suggests. I just keep all that stuff in my head.



“D-did you have to tell her about Eddie?” Tara asked before they went inside.

“I couldn’t just sit there lying to her.”

“Sweetie, you were the one who told me it wasn’t lying. You told me it was just omission. For her own good?”

“Well, yeah, but then I remembered that I like to work to Asimov’s laws. That includes omission.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t know who Isaac Asimov is?” Willow asked, pulling her girl around to face her in a doorway.

They’d left Buffy about fifteen minutes ago and she’d claimed the need to walk her ‘friend’ home safely and to finish up some things about the spell. Another lie… There was nothing to finish up. But that part, at least, was well intentioned.

If she thought there was something still to do with the spell then Buffy wouldn’t rush off to track Faith down. And if she wasn’t there to be pestered, her roomie wouldn’t keep asking when she could get on with that.

It sounded like the perfect excuse to her. Plus, bonus points, for letting her go back to Tara’s. Since the spell, all sorts of things had been running through her head about Tara…

“I’ve heard the name, isn’t he a scientist?”

“Not a bad guess, but it was a guess, wasn’t it?”

“Y-yes.”

“I can’t believe that my girlfriend, my girlfriend of all people, not only hasn’t read the Foundation books, but more than that doesn’t even know who Asimov is.”

“He’s an author,” Tara tried again.

Tara must’ve known she was teasing, of course, but tried to look as chastened as she could anyway. Let this be a lesson to her. She was obviously going to have to do better in her geekery. But there’d been that whole Spock correction earlier on which Willow took some pride in.

Doctor Spock indeed. Even Buffy should’ve known that one.

“Give it up for the genius. I’m so disgusted that I don’t even want to think about kissing you.”

“Really?” Tara asked as she had her pressed up against a door. They were all but grinding against each other. Except for – like – the grinding.

“Okay… got me. I do want to think about kissing you.” They waited a moment. “There, I thought about it.”

And so they did kiss. It didn’t take much of an excuse these days. And… good as she as feeling right now? ‘Flush with success’ as you might think of it? No excuse at all.

“What did you mean, about his laws?” Tara asked.

“Oh, nothing much, it would’ve been funny if you’d gotten it but... Omission counts, it counts as lying. It counts as a bad thing when my roommate is still trapped in another psycho-girl’s body and said slutty psycho is boinking her new boyfriend. You know… before she even got to go there herself.”

“Oh. Ohh.” Tara didn’t sound like she’d realised that. But yeah, that was part of Buffy’s distress. Beaten to the punch by Faith…

Surely? After the way Faith had been grinding on him?

“Yeah…”

“Maybe there wasn’t too much boinking going on, maybe he realised the difference?” Tara suggested. “Like I did and I barely even knew her.”

Willow rolled her eyes. “Sweetie, it’s obvious you were made to be a lesbian. That kind of optimism wouldn’t work out in the hetero dating game, believe me. Just count yourself lucky that you’ve never had to deal with guys. When a girl looks like Buffy, well… wouldn’t you?”

“I – I’d know the difference,” Tara told her. “W-wait… What?”

Umm, maybe not what she’d really meant. “Not that I would. I mean, that would be like… me and my sister. The sister that I haven’t got, but if I had a sister she’d be Buffy and I’d be stealing her clothes and things, but not filling them very well and we’d always be fighting but… where was I?”

“You were trying to tell me,” Tara laughed, “how you’d b-boink Buffy. Is that even a word?”

“You never miss a thing, do you?”

“I don’t miss anything you do, except when you’re not there.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“And thank you for walking me home,” Tara said.

“But who’s going to walk me home now?” Willow asked. She was looking at the front of Tara’s dorm and wondering whether she’d even need to wangle an invitation out of her girl.

“Maybe you sh-should’ve brought the squirt gun.”

“Maybe…” There was a filthy minded joke if you wanted to go there, but she most certainly didn’t. Her thoughts were nobler, if no less carnal. “You know though, I did tell Buffy that we had some spell things to do.”

“That was a lie, Willow. Not even an omission,” Tara said. “The spell’s complete. It’ll work or… it won’t.”

“A lie in a good cause though.”

Tara nodded, willing to accept what she was saying. It seemed like a nod that might also mean, ‘come on up, lets kiss. Let’s do some real grinding. And pressing and touching, all with the kissing right along with it. All of it really.’

It was one, expressive, nod.

Unless she was reading too much into it. But it didn’t feel like wishful thinking.

“I owe you an apology,” Willow said.

“Why?”

“I made you a promise, earlier tonight – last night I guess it is now. I promised you that everyone would know but still no one knows - ”

“It’s okay,” Tara told her.

“No. I made a promise and – I didn’t come through for you. I wanted to, I was ready to but – then you told me what happened and what you suspected and I was mad and I was worried and we did the whole rescue thing and the spell, it just felt like… it felt like the moment wasn’t right.”

“Faith knows,” Tara pointed out. “And she was kind of Buffy.” It was clutching at straws, but in all things Tara liked to make her feel better. A lovely quality. One of many.

“Not really Buffy though,” she pointed out.

“Well, the real Buffy – sort of – well, she saw us… do a spell.”

She cringed, it wasn’t something she was proud of. “Like ‘doing a spell’ is a euphemism for ‘she’s my girlfriend.’?”

“Or something else,” Tara pointed out. “There wasn’t much of a euphemism going on at the end. I mean… I think she got what happened.”

“Stop it!”

“I’m sorry,” Tara said. “Really, I am. Can I make it up to you?”

She couldn’t be unhappy, she’d gotten what she wanted and from more than a nod too. “I want to come up. I want to go to bed with you. I want to fall asleep with you. I want to wake up with you,” she said.

“Again…” Tara reminded her to add on. Like she cared? The idea was romantic enough. That they’d done all that already didn’t matter. And they fooled around some at night as well as in the morning. But she was so lucky that the girl she loved was into taking things slowly.

But, away from Tara, she might have sighed. Really. Once again, a crisis was getting in the way of perfection. Their perfect moment continued to elude them. This was Sunnydale though…

“Okay, yeah, you’ve got me there. But… they’re all so good for us.”

“I – I have a condition,” Tara said.

“I’m all ears.” She tended to think it was something she’d like, this condition. It seemed like a reasonable guess, based on the available evidence.

“Oh, no, your ears are all cute.”

She beamed at the compliment. “Tell me what it is, this arduous task that you have for me? Unblock your drain? Clean your room?”

“Will you – Will you b-brush my hair for me?”

That stopped her teasing, it stopped all the questions too. She already knew what that gesture meant to Tara. She’d had long hair her whole life, right from being a little girl and who had brushed it for her? Her Mom, then she’d done it herself when Mom was gone…

But –

It meant a lot to Tara and so the request meant a lot to her, too. She’d heard all about it, what it was that she’d wished she’d see her Mom for, just one more time. It was one of the last things Lillian Maclay had done for her daughter before she was too weak, before she passed.

So she didn’t joke. She didn’t tease. Not about that. She understood how important this was to Tara. To do that was a gift as much as anything. She’d shown trust in Tara earlier and maybe this was her way of giving that trust back. Just a small but important thing in the make up of Tara Maclay.

“D-do you mind?”

“Mind? After all the times I watched you?” she asked. “Saw how beautiful you were. After you told me… the things you told me? Oh, Tara… Yes. Yes, of course I will.”

And her girlfriend chose to seal the deal with a kiss.

Two things were on her mind as they went upstairs, fetched water and did the mundane stuff like cleaning their teeth. One was – clearly – how lucky she was to know Tara. The second – okay, there were three things – but the second was that they were as close, as intimate as they could ever be. The next step for them was no more than a matter of timing. And that time wasn’t now.

I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t worry about this. The third thing… was her brushing technique good enough? Was it too similar – or dissimilar – to Tara’s Mom? A woman Willow very much wished that she could’ve met. She didn’t want either to let Tara down or to make her think sad thoughts…

Without discussion they’d silently agreed that tonight wasn’t one of the nearly-naked nights. And she didn’t mind that because it was being with Tara that she appreciated so much more than those flesh based delights. So when they were about ready for bed, she thought she needed to admit it to her nerves.

With Tara sat on the edge of her side of the bed, she knelt on it behind her and rather than just get to doing what she’d been asked, hugged her girl from there. Bringing her lips into Tara’s ear to repeat those words of love. It gave her a buzz to say them and more of a buzz to feel how they made Tara feel. She might not be as sensitive to the flow of their energy as Tara was, but when that emotion was just singing out of the girl then… she couldn’t have missed it.

“I’m nervous,” she whispered.

“Why?”

“I want this first time to be good for you.”

“You’ve brushed hair before, Willow.”

“Not yours. Not anyone else’s actually. Not even Buffy’s.”

“Good.”

She might almost have missed the tiny, tiny voice that Tara said that in. But she couldn’t have missed the satisfaction or how it made them both feel. That this was something just for them, not compared with anyone else. Except, for Tara, there was a sad comparison. Wasn’t there?

“If it’s not great…”

“Just do your best.” She could see Tara’s smile in the mirror, surrounded as it was by one of those strands of fairy lights.

“Any tips?”

“Don’t tell me about split ends.”

“Okay, I promise.”

“Make me beautiful,” Tara said as the first stroke went through her hair, and she could imagine that was what her Mom had promised her.

“You’re already beautiful,” Willow breathed as she continued to stroke the brush through Tara’s long hair. Considering everything that had happened tonight, where they’d been, it was a surprise that there weren’t some unsexy tangles to sort out but actually it was pure pleasure.

It wasn’t like Tara was a kitty, rising and arching to her touch as she was stroked – after all she’d kind of seen that side of her girl. No, all Tara did was tip her head this way and that. The pure pleasure was hers, because she could feel that Tara was enjoying it. Playing with her girlfriend’s hair was one thing. Stroking it another, but brushing the entire length, feeling it move over and under her fingers?

One soft stroke after another, going over the same spot more than once. There was something deeply sensual about that and she was reluctant to bring the moment to a close, but it was late and tomorrow could easily be another big day. Faith hadn’t been stopped yet and… she had another, better girl to think about.

“There you are,” she said, putting the brush aside and arranging Tara’s hair how she normally wore it to bed. Hands on her girl’s shoulders and looking at her in the mirror. “Now you’re beautiful.” She kissed the exposed neck.

Tara turned her head, offered up her lips for a real kiss and she gratefully accepted. “That was what she used to say.”

“And she wasn’t wrong,” she promised. “Because you are.”

Tomorrow was another day but today had been a good one. And not just because of the suprising orgasm that they weren’t talking about. Things – if possible – had only gotten better after that.

----------------------------

“Your hair needs brushing again,” Willow said as she came back into the room. She sounded as if she was up for a repeat performance.

And she totally got that… but not now.

“It only works at night,” Tara warned her after glancing in the mirror, running her fingers through it for now. After all Willow had done a good job last night and there really hadn’t been anything to get it all tied up again even with her shower. “And I don’t think we have time to mess around right now.”

“Oh?” Willow was propped up in bed, eating toast and from the look of the plate studiously leaving her half on the side that mirrored their sides of the bed. That’d be hers then.

“Important things to do,” she said. “Buffy will need help won’t she?”

Willow didn’t seem as sure. “There’s no telling. Sometimes, sure, but sometimes she runs off and gets everything done on her own. She has the Katra, she knows what to do with it.”

Even though they’d insinuated that the reason Willow hadn’t come back to the dorm last night was because they were finishing off the spell? Though, with how pissed off (words that didn’t even get close) Buffy had been, she just might run off on her own anyway.

And that was what she was worried about. What if they’d done something wrong? What if it didn’t work? Could they actually make things worse?

From the vantage point that was ‘being Willow’s girlfriend’ she had a perspective that said ‘sure, everything can be worse.’ The only way was down…

“And you don’t want to see this?” Tara asked, sitting on the bed beside Willow and picking at a piece of toast from her side of the plate, hoping she wouldn’t find the bed full of crumbs like last time Willow had ate here.

“Absolutely, and I intend to be there for her – I do. If only to see her kick Faith’s ass into the next century but also to remind her to do that after they’ve switched bodies. Sometimes Buffy can get carried away and lose the thread of what she’s supposed to be doing.”

Tara grinned, took a bite.

“We don’t have to hurry though, we were up late and so was she. Plus, Buffy’s got to avoid being picked up by people who think she’s Faith. I told her that, right? I did warn her?” Willow asked.

She nodded, biting again. Yup, Willow had warned her.

“She’ll wait then. I think…Ooh, you’re all wet,” Willow said, teasing the wet strands of hair that had escaped the towel wrapped around her head.

Tara looked at her, waiting for more.

Willow looked at her. “What? So kill me if I’ve found out I always wanted to say that.”

“See, I knew it.”

“Oh no! It’s your dirty mind that took us there,” Willow pointed out. “You could’ve just ignored it. Because you are, obviously, all wet and damp and…”

Tara sighed, biting off another piece of toast. That was true, she was still a little damp, mostly her hair.

“And now you’re dropping crumbs,” Willow said. “After the grief you gave me about getting them in the bed, you’re dropping crumbs.”

Once more, Tara had to look her girlfriend in the eye. This time she was waiting just for an apology. Willow was defiant though and it wasn’t coming. “That was after you’d been complaining about lying on them, I had to tell you where they came from. You, being a messy eater.”

“We don’t know that yet!” Willow said. “You know, the eating and all… Not gone there.”

“Willow!”

“Alright! Don’t worry though,” Willow said through a big grin, “Let me get some of those for you.” Licking her fingertip she dabbed at the spots where the crumbs had landed, which just happened to be where her robe parted and exposed a little of her chest.

“Oh, you’re so selfless.”

“Just call me neat and tidy,” Willow said.

“Hey, Neat and tidy.”

“Ha ha. Ooooh, I forgot to tell you. In addition to being great with hair, a great witch and even better girlfriend, I’m now officially a hit with your friends,” Willow seemed excited by it too.

“Huh?”

“Annie, she said we should definitely all go out one night.” Willow seemed really proud to be the one it had been suggested to.

And that was okay, because why not? It was good Annie had seen what Willow meant to her and was reaching out. Also a night out with Annie was less likely to involve rogue Slayers, sleep-loaded squirt guns and mercenaries. Oh, and inadvertent… spells. Yeah, let’s call it a spell.

And about that…

“We should - I’ll talk to her,” Tara said. “About last night though.”

“Did you get tangles?” Willow asked.

“No, not that.”

“Was I snoring? Because I told you, prod me or just say my name and I’ll roll over. Buffy found that out one night when we had to sleepover while her ex was… Well, he was going psycho. Literally.”

“N-no, and I’ve never heard you,” Tara said honestly. At least not last night. “But that’s not what I meant. About the.. spell.”

“Oh.”

“Umm, yes. Oh.”

“You know what?”

“What?”

Willow grinned, “I think we should call that the big, flaming O of fun. O for - ”

“Yes, I g-get it. Aren’t you… bothered?”

“Umm…” She watched Willow play at considering for a moment, her answer already perfectly obvious. “No. Why? Should I be?”

“Well… it kind of snuck up on you – both of us, it snuck up on both of us. I mean… I didn’t know that was going to happen – you believe me don’t you?” She wanted Willow to believe her on that.

“Of course, you’d never have done it in front of Buffy if you had.”

That was for absolutely certain. It would’ve been embarrassing enough if it had just been them. A big flaming O without trying when… there was still a little self-doubt about what might happen if she did try.

“That’s p-part of why I feel kind of bad,” Tara said. “I mean…”

“I didn’t have – I mean, it felt good and it must’ve looked like that was what was happening but… Tara, it wasn’t what it looked like. Honestly.”

“Really?” Because, even though she hadn’t seen Willow’s face at that moment before, she was pretty sure that… Well, that was how it was supposed to go? Right?

“I… If we were taking it really slow and, I don’t know, doing spells was as intimate as we’d gotten then it might’ve been… wow. But that was something else. It wasn’t me… not exactly. Not just me. It was something that came from us, our energy. I mean… tell me that when you – do that, have that I mean, there’s not swirling circles of fire around you?”

“Not that I noticed,” she said, embarrassed to even be talking about it. She shouldn’t be, but… it was something so private, for so long that talking about it just seemed… No. They didn’t even seem able to say the word.

Orgasm.

“That’s what I thought. Me neither, just for the record. It was something else. And no matter what it looked like, no matter what it sounded like, no matter what it felt like… that was a spell. It had a pretty… special conclusion, but it was just a spell. When we did it, it was to help Buffy. It was to see Faith get broken and beaten down… those aren’t things I associate with being with you. And, you know, if we… No, when we get there, together - I imagine that… It’ll still be ‘us’ in some way, but us that’s you and me, not one combined us. It’ll be my big, non-flaming O. And yours… I hope.

“I’m really not explaining this very well, am I?” Willow asked.

“N-no, I mean y-yes, I get it. I think.”

“Let me try it this way. Would I have chosen to have that experience in front of my roommate? Even Buffy? No. Do I blame you for that? No, no and hell no.”

“Will - ”

“Please, sweetie, let me finish this thought,” Willow interrupted. “Before I lose my thread. Cos, half the things I want to say to you I forget because there’s so much and this is… okay, forgetting now, but oh, yeah, am I glad we did that? Yes, for all sorts of reasons I already mentioned. But… I’m not counting it.”

“Counting it?”

“Well, we have to keep the numbers equal don’t we? I mean, I was thinking maybe we’d start out with a notepad, but once the numbers got big enough then I’d make us a spread sheet. With some simple reports.”

Tara, confused, shook her head. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“O’s,” Willow said. “It’s only fair if we keep them aligned? Doesn’t have to be you have one I have one, that’d just be silly. But maybe on a weekly basis we can look at the figures and if it’s a little askew, we can take care of that and bring them back into line.”

Tara swallowed. Despite the obvious attractions of Willow and Willow’s pleasures… she couldn’t imagine much that was less sexy than doing that. ‘Oh, you got two extra last month, will you do me a favour level the numbers?’ She hoped that Willow would never have cause to think her unwilling, she was pretty sure she was probably going to be very willing indeed, but to turn it into a numbers game? Not sexy at all.

But how to say that? Willow was a woman motivated by numbers and targets and plans. She had everything planned out. Often in different coloured pens. She’d seen this. But deciding… How did she say ‘no’ to that without just saying ‘no’?

But then Willow cracked up and showed her the truth. “Oh, your face… Tara, baby, do you honestly think I’d do that? Want to?”

“I can… see a you that might,” she said carefully.

“Well, okay,” Willow said. “But strictly for bragging rights. You know like, ‘I got my girl off five times last week.’”

“Bragging – who - ? Oh… you got me.”

“Again. You’re so easy, Tara Maclay.”

Tara shook her head. “Your notebook and your spread sheet are still empty, sweetie. So how easy can I really be?”

“Not for long,” Willow promised. “Not for long. Eat your toast. One day soon, you’re going to need your strength.”

Promises. Promises.

******************

[Wills redemption]

Okay, I felt bad at dibsing here since I haven't commented on this story in ages just because I'm so far behind reading. But since a whole hour as passed sine I first noticed the new chapter and no one came to claim the dibs, I will do it now. Dibs!
I will try to catch up in the future so I can leave some actual feedback. See you!

[Missocki]

Omg! Willow with the spreadsheets joke!
I loved Tara wanting Willow to brush her hair, so sweet. I might just died from the cuteness!
And I'm glad that them coming together (Did I really just phrase it like that...) will NOT be some big implied metaphor. What they feel is real, so why shouldn't the coupling?

Non-flaming O? I think not.

[Willow_Friendly]

it's nice to have a little break from the action. And Willow brushing Tara's hair is more intimate thin the love making. And i like Isaac Vsimov books what got me interested of him was the The X-Files and i hope it's ok to say that.

[Katharyn]

Wills_redemption - Last time I checked, all was fair in love and dibsing. very nice to see you're still here:) thanks

Missocki - The spreadsheet is all from me. Numbers are very important to me when I am writing properly. Good motivation (redraft causes me problems in numbers terms!) but I never used a spreadsheet for that!

The hair thing was me too, when I wondered what I would like t do to Tara. (I am so sweet and innocent) LOL

So, yes, I tried to tone down the significance of the Flaming O... They'll have many other, better moments and not implied! Thanks.

Willow_friendley - It is nice to have a break, but that's just something you can't do in a real novel if the current crisis has not been resolved. So this is why I love T/W fanfic! And yes, with the hair brushing, I wanted to give you/them an intimate moment to make up for Buffy being at Flaming O.

And why on earth would it not be okay to mention Scully and Gillian Anderson. Oh, wait, you didn't. That was me.... Ummm. Asimov and X-files. Yeah. .

(Gillian Anderson is a shared - and thus legal - crush in this house. Moreso now than back then!)

Thanks

Katharyn

[Azirahael]

Poop!

So, the notification thingy hasn't gone off and told me about all the updates, which is y'know, kinda crappy.

But the plus side is that i get to read several chapters.

Which is why i haven't commented in a while.
I might have to go back and do a but of re-reading to get into the flow.

but, yay good stuff!
and i like how things are happening as in canon, but at different times.
and i totally didn't spot Buffy in Faith until someone pointed it out in the comments.

then i went back and re-read it and it was totally obvious.
very sneaky, very well done.

and i find myself wondering what the squirtgun does.
[Edit: ok, still a couple of chapters behind, apparently: sleep spell. very cool]

i look forward to more, and also Willow coming out of the closet.
the coming out part is my favourite part in stories like this.

Ciao

R

[DaddyCatALSO]

The hair brushing- very good choice, and totally sneusal and beleiveable; I recall one of the earliest TV mocies dealing with gay women (played by Gena Rowlnads and Jane Alexander, I didn't see it) featured a hair-brushing scene.

Quibble: I only read the Foundation Trilogy once back in '76 and didn't much like it, but I don't recall much about (assuming this is what you mean when you're mentioning "ommission") the Laws of Robotics in it.

And Willow's joking; great touch. Sexual misunderstanding can be a real problem in unexpetcted ways if it continues too long so, even tho there wasn't really any misunderstanding here, it's good they can tlak about it. Along those lines, it's good you had the girls express your own feelings on the Flaming O.

[Katharyn]

Azirahael - I did wonder what I'd done (or not) to lose you! I could see you posting in other threads! Hee. Welcome back Visiting the board is the safest way to find out...

I didn't think I was that sneaky about Buffy in Faith because she was just so 'wrong' (Still my fave part of the show, inc the girls, I think... as a series of images and a few lines.)

Willow's outing... well, I've already said it. NMR just as in canon...

Thanks so much for coming back!!!

Daddycatalso - In part the hair-brushing was added and emphasised after I realised how the Flaming O could be taken. Again, why I love the interaction here

Asimov... Okay. I could sit here and admit that I've only ever tried to read it and actually get my knowledge from other sources and the movie featuring the *cough* delicious Bridget Moynahan (oh, and that Fresh Price guy). I could sit here and admit that. Or I could make a very valid point.

Tara and Willow don't know everything. They're not always right

Yes, your author is covering her errors in the characters fallibility, but actually it's a good thing to remember. We're in a PoV fic. There is no omniscient narrator who can tell us everything and reveal the truth and where the mistakes are. So, I could say that Willow is just a product of the TV generation, saw all sorts of shows that picked up Asimov's themes and added their own stuff and so she THOUGHT that it was in there.

In fact, I am going to say that. Because it's a good answer. But you should all remember that these girls can be and are sometimes wrong. Not always pointed out by me either.

And yes, I love showing how these girls can talk and joke. Though they will hold back some when times get darker, that will never - completely - go away. Even in the darkest episodes (I've just redrafted all three chapters covering 'The Body' today so this is on my mind). Absolutely though, if I can have the girls make my excuses for me then better than having it in comments. I mean, you all expect them to be 100% right so... yeah See above!

Thanks so much for letting me explain myself away!

Next part will be posted within the next hour.

Katharyn

[Azirahael]

Yay! my thing is working now!

turns out cancelling my subscription and redoing it gave me notices again.

Hooray!

Sorry, i kinda rely on the notifications to tell me that there's stuff to read.

otherwise i'd be trawling all day.

Waiting with bated breath.

R

[Katharyn]

Well, I'm pleased you sorted that out.

Enjoy.

Katharyn

____________________

Title: Tara and Willow – Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda – Chapter Forty-Four
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Absolutely, yes please. That’s why I write for this place, to engage in the discussion about the story.
Spoiler warning: Not sure why I am bothering, really, but Season 4 and Season 5 of BTVS.
Distribution: This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens and the Kitten Board please. No conversion to eBook or other formats please. Enjoy it here.
Summary: The reveal of how Faith was caught and what happens after that.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc. I am making no money from this series of stories however all original characters and situations remain my property. As this is a missing scenes and alternate reality fiction lots of scenes are new versions of those seen in the show, as such dialogue and situations are taken from the show. I’m sure you can tell which. All credit for those aspects goes to the original writers.
Rating: Occasional, tasteful, adult situations and contextual bad language. However by and large equivalent to the show.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever, that’s all I’m bothered about.
Text convention: Use of italics denotes either special emphasis if used for a single or a few words in a sentence OR first person thoughts if used for a whole sentence.
Notes: A slightly shorter part this time. Again, better to leave you at certain spots between chapters than lose the emphasis on something by stranding it in the middle of a longer one. I hope when you see the next part you’ll understand why.
So, as I’ve said before, not everything that happens involves the girls (if it did then we’d be getting back into them having Mary-Sue characteristics) so we pick up the story of Faith and the switch back… here. Remember in canon, the girls just weren’t involved and sometimes that’s going to happen. After all, they did the rescue thing. What more can we expect?
I’m facing another challenge here, as I have been for a while. And I’ve kept you dangling with it. Willow wants everyone to know. The story needs to not go there until canon did (i.e. NMR) and so I have to keep contriving reasons not to have her just say ‘I love Tara’ to everyone.
Now this is where your writer uses notes to explain what she’s not happy with in the writing. I feel like I need to because I think you could read this as Willow having trouble coming out, or being ashamed of her feelings or whatever other sorts of negatives might come up. I’m going to say that she really does want it to be perfect (same with sleeping with Tara in the fullest sense) and the story needs that too. Why ‘waste’ those outside the perfect moment of NMR once I’ve thrown away, ‘they did it in the laundry room the first night in Hush.’ One or the other works, anything in between is weaker than that… And so… don’t hate Willow for it. Hate the writer. Also, do remember that each chapter (or group of them) can represent a very different period of time.
A tiny Fawlty Towers moment in here…
Thanks to: The guy with the five week old puppy who sat opposite me this morning on the train this morning. Not much writing got done 



“Oh, wow. You caught her?”

“She trapped herself,” Giles said. “It seems she was actually overcome with guilt, or something as close as she can get to it.”

“And you’re sure that’s Faith and that’s Buffy?” Willow asked him, looking at the pair of them as they regarded each other through the bars. Just this morning Tara had been reminding her how she knew Buffy better in Faith’s body than in her own and there was a little of that going on for her too.

And some worry.

What it…?

“Quite certain, which is a matter I have to address with you. Why you thought you shouldn’t tell me that my Slayer had been replaced by… well, Faith, I have no idea?”

“It’s not about you,” Willow said hurriedly. “We – I – just couldn’t take the chance that Faith would find out we knew about her and what she’d done. Best case she might’ve just left, but if she ran – with Buffy’s body – we might never have found her again and Buffy would’ve been stuck while Faith was sunning herself in Rio.

“And you don’t even want to think about what else she’d have been doing with Buffy’s body. Or – or what she’s already done with the body Buffy would’ve been in. No, you don’t think about that. I just did and I think I got away with it. You know, without being scarred, but you don’t want to.”

“But… I could’ve helped, Willow.”

He sounded like he did understand the reasoning, he just didn’t like it.

At all.

“We managed,” Willow said as brightly as she could. All’s well that ends well and all that.

“So I see. ‘We’ being you and this Tara?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Did you know you smiled when I said her name?”

She shook her head, yet again. This wasn’t the time either, though he looked smug enough to suggest he’d already guessed about them. Maybe… But then who else had? Who had he told? This was her girl, her love… and he better not have blown her idea of the perfect way to let everyone know. “No, I don’t.”

Tara the hero… Tara the love of her life.

Tara the girlfriend.

But then… maybe it was okay. A Brit could obviously be smugger than almost anyone else, but they were also less likely to gossip. Giles less-so than most.

“You do, it’s rather amusing actually. Tara. There, see, you did it again.”

“That’s just because you’re making me laugh,” Willow said.

“No, I’m making you smile. Tara. See?”

“So, moving on… Slayer in a cage. And in the right body. You said she got guilty? Really?”

That was the part she really was having trouble accepting.

Taking the hint, Giles let her smiling go. Not that she believed him, but if she didn’t believe him then he definitely knew and her big news – not a secret but news she had to tell for herself – was out.

Fortunately she and Tara should’ve earned some kudos for their part in this. Her girlfriend deserved – and would get – all the credit. Not only had she spotted the switch before anyone else, but come up with a way to switch them back. That was hero stuff right there.

Saving. The. Day.

So it didn’t involve hitting, stabbing, cutting or kicking anything. So it’d actually involved a rather intimate and embarrassing moment she’d already sworn Buffy to secrecy about. So… all those things. Tara was still the hero in this story.

“Actually, yes. She had plane tickets but instead of using them, she turned around and came back. Stormed a church where some vampires had taken hostages and effected a rescue. Buffy, our Buffy, helped finish them off - ”

“Wait, one Slayer wasn’t enough?”

“There were a lot of vampires,” Giles explained, “we’ve even reason to believe they were in league with the hybrid demon, Adam?”

Willow nodded, knowing well enough who that was. Yeah, she’d helped them get away from him. “So he’s recruiting now?”

“So it would appear.”

“So much for Professor Walsh’s plan to use him to hunt them down, fighting fire with fire. So Buffy beat Faith down?”

“Actually, to hear Buffy tell it, there wasn’t that much of a struggle. Faith could’ve made much more of it than she did. So, yes, I think that perhaps the guilt may have gotten to her. Or certainly some element of compassion for the people in that church at the very least.”

“I’m not sure I ever heard her say she cared about one damn thing in her life,” Willow mused.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t have told me anyway, but I also can’t recall hearing of anything. She is a Slayer though, she has that purpose.”

“Or maybe she liked what it was to have friends, to have a Mom?” Willow guessed softly. Buffy didn’t want to hear it, Faith being around Joyce had been a red rag to a bull, but… yeah. If you had no one who gave a damn about you, if you’d lost or driven everyone away then… what must it feel like to have someone who did care? Even if they thought they were caring for someone else?

“Careful,” Giles said, “I might start to believe you feel sorry for her.”

Hmm, yeah, it was sounding that way.

“Bitch,” she added, just for effect.

“That’s the Willow we know and love. Oh?”

“Oh?”

“Tara. There, see, you did it again.”

-------------------------------

“Well met, Tara Maclay.”

Tara started, surprised by the voice behind her. That Diana should be able to sneak up on her was no surprise but finding her there?

“I – I haven’t seen you for a little while?” she said. This was what Diana did. Vanished from her life for days and weeks at a time and then, when she reappeared, just turned up.

“And yet you’ve been busy,” Diana said, offering no explanation of her whereabouts.

“You know?”

“Of course. Your past endeavours do not concern nearly so much as your future,” Diana said.

“My-my future?”

“Yes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Darkness gathers, Tara. A power from another place. All this is nought but a distraction. Life. Love. My purpose here. Even the hunt itself does not concern the darkness. I would have you prepared for its arrival.”

“I – I’m not sure what you mean?” Wasn’t Diana’s purpose something to do with the Hellmouth? A gateway to the underworld in her eyes? Now that was superseded? More than that, she hadn’t had chance to explain it to Willow yet… things had gotten in the way and she didn’t know what it meant.

Mostly, she was confuzzled. And that was a Willow-word. One of her expanding vocabulary. Ideal for this situation.

“You will know, soon enough. But until then you must prepare. You and your Willow both.”

“Willow?”

“Her place is with you, Tara. And yours with her. Soon enough you will both realise that.”

Actually, she’d already realised that and she was pretty sure that Willow had too. But… you didn’t argue with a Goddess. “This – this darkness? Can you tell me what it is?”

“It is from beyond, you must be ready. You and your friends.”

“How – I mean, who?”

“You, your lady and… the Slayer.”

------------------------

“You okay, Buffy?” Willow asked when her roommate finally emerged, tossing the keys to Giles.

“Peachy. Just peachy.”

Oh… that was bad then.

“You had a good, long chat with her. It all seemed… very civilised.” No shouting. No banging or screams.

“I’m a civilised girl, what, did you think I was going to get medieval on her ass?”

“With pliers and a blowtorch,” Willow agreed.

Buffy shrugged. “Like it or not – and trust me that I didn’t like it – Faith…Well, she came through in the end. Once. She turned up at that church and she did something that she had no reason to do and every reason not to. She did it while all I was worried about was finding her, I’d forgotten about Adam. Left him to it and look, he kidnapped people. And Faith… helped them.”

“Wow… you sound like you want to cut her some slack.”

“Yeah, that’s why she’s in a cage and the G Man has the key. Everything’s five by five.”

Willow froze. No. Way. No. Way… They did the spell, they’d felt it take hold! No way!

“God, I’m messing with you, Will. Faith’s all put back together again, so am I. She’s in a cage and I’m not. I don’t like her any more than you do, a whole lot less probably, but… Yeah, for once in her life she did the right thing for what was probably the right reason. That’s new on her, trust me.”

“She tell you that?” Willow wondered. It sounded a lot like an excuse, or at least a reason not to hand her over to those Council men. Who, by the way, probably weren’t too happy with she and Tara right now. Not after the sleep potion laced squirt guns.

And they’d revealed themselves as Witches…

Just because Giles said the Council had never cared about witches – kind of short sighted and misogynist if you asked her – didn’t mean that she could feel relaxed about that. Giving Faith to them might just soothe that wounded pride they had to be feeling and it wouldn’t send them away empty handed. Failures.

“No. Pretty much she didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t get an apology out of her, but I think that’s because she doesn’t know the S word. Cut through the bluster and bravado and she’s still a bitch - ”

“Don’t forget a slut.”

“And I’m not deluded, Will. I know she can be cruel and heartless and dangerous to be around. All of those things. But she came back when she could’ve got away and left me to be taken by the Council.”

“You just keep coming back to that, huh?”

“It’s only bought her a stay of execution,” Buffy said. “Giles wants to hand her over, but… I saw what those guys were like, I heard what the Council had planned. I don’t even want to tell you… None of its meant to fix her.”

“She’s beyond fixing, Buffy!”

“Will, they weren’t even going to try. It’s a real easy choice for them… if she became more trouble than she was worth to teach them about what a Slayer really is, inside and out… well, they know that if they killed her then they’d have another Slayer. Somewhere out there… A lot of Watcher’s are waiting for that moment. It’s like a scavenger hunt to them.”

“Yeah, you’ve been kind of bad news for their career paths,” Willow said.

“I did my part, I died. What more can they ask?”

“But then they ended up with Faith and she’s been indestructible too, physically at least. Not so much the mental side because… whackadoodle.”

“No argument from me there.”

“So… did she tell you what happened with Eddie?” Willow asked carefully. Could Buffy be so calm if all of that had come out? So… understanding?

“She said I should ask him.”

“Sounds like it might be a good idea,” she said. “I mean, you have to speak to him sometime, right?”

“I… don’t know how to do that, Will. If she hadn’t come back, if she hadn’t helped me and saved those people’s lives… I’d give the Council their new Slayer, myself. I would. And… she’s supernatural and she’s dangerous. I wouldn’t even have blinked twice about it. I was that close to ending her…”

Ouch… She’d not realised that Buffy could really go that far and maybe it was just words, she hoped it was just words. The idea of Faith being put down like a rabid bitch wasn’t something that overly worried her, but that wasn’t something she wanted to be on Buffy’s conscience. Or at her hands. The Council doing it… that would’ve seemed better.

“And now you don’t think that you can hand her over?”

“I’m… Willow, I’m looking for a reason not to. I mean, what choice do I have, right?”

Willow didn’t want to even think about it. That wasn’t what they’d struggled for, was it? Or… Damn it, was tolerance and forbearance catching now? Just because Buffy found she was willing to give Faith the narrowest of chances then she had to think the same way?

“For sure we can’t keep her in a cage,” Willow said. “Not only will someone find her, but I kind of get the idea that right now she’s not actually trying to get out.”

“Nope. She;s just standing – or sitting – there.”

“How long would it take you to get out of there?” Willow asked. “If you really wanted to?”

“Dealing with people like you, and Giles? Not too long. You’re not jailers. Neither am I. If she wants out then, you’re right. She’ll get out eventually. And by then she’d be wound tighter than a clock – what does that mean anyway, wound tighter than a clock?”

“I think you could wind watches, the wind-up kind, which is obvious I guess, you could wind them too far and they’d just… snap. Kind of fitting, right?”

“I guess.”

“She blames us, you know?” Buffy said.

“I heard that.”

“For not giving her the chances that I had… Do you think we treated her wrong?”

“I’m not going to lie, Buffy. You know that we weren’t exactly comfortable with her, we didn’t think much of her Watcher and there was that whole awkwardness because she only existed because you died and then Kendra died… You’re not supposed to meet your own replacement.”

“So you think it’s my fault?”

“No,” Willow said. “I’m just saying how it was when she arrived. But if she wanted to fit in, if she wanted to be friends, then basically she needed to get a personality transplant. That’s your problem right there. Maybe, with a better Watcher she’d have been the perfect burn bright, flame out Slayer. Just what they were used to… a real 21st Century Slayer.

“But what happened to her wasn’t our fault. You said it yourself, Faith’s broken. Now she’s making you feel sorry for her because she’s broken in a different way.”

“Broken is broken though, right?” Buffy asked.

“Well, duh. I’m sorry,” Willow said. “But don’t let her con you Buffy, even though she helped those people. Even if she’s really sincere, then she’s fooling herself. Faith is Faith. People don’t change, not that much. What do you want to do? Give her a chance?”

“Y-Yes.”

A different voice.

Where had her girlfriend come from and why was it Tara who was answering her question?

****************

[Grimm]

Oh shit. Faith is the Slayer that Artemis was referring to?

Giles teasing Willow was hilarious

I'm kinda wild with anticipation now. Next to Tara and Willow, Faith has always been my favorite. So, I'm hoping she doesn't end up being a dead-pool entry.

[Kajun]

Katharyn, The previous chapter was a nice break from the switcheroo craziness. They don’t always have to be in the thick of it. Plus, it was sweet that Tara asked Willow to brush her hair --something that held a special significance in Tara’s life. Gonna jump right to this next part..

Giles should be getting used to being out of the loop coz that’s not gonna change much for here on in. He did his job as Watcher too well for his own good! It may have taken a while but he’s not totally clueless. I loved the canon scene of Buffy taunting Xander to make his eye twitch. It’s fitting that Willow would sport a smile at the mention of Tara’s name. Giles can have a bit of fun with that little discovery for quite a long time, I’m guessing. As can Buffy with the occasional impersonation of a cleavage-y slut bomb. Willow is too easy. LOL

Oh crap. I just had a freaky thought that the impending doom Diana is speaking of, assuming it’s Glory, might also entail Ben being replaced with Eddie as a vessel. Or Oz!!! How many different ways can this go further south than the Hellmouth??

Nice to see Buffy is considering giving Faith a chance. I’d have totally lost respect for her otherwise given what she learned while being hostage to the Council’s wet-works unit. There’s no doubt Tara will be successful in convincing Buffy it’s the right thing to do. The question is.. who will act as Faith’s mentor? It’d be great to keep her around and I still think Diana, with Tara’s assistance, is the perfect choice.