Reunion

[JustSkipIt]

Cam - Wow. Tear out my heart a little bit? I mean Tara's update was kind of borderline sad. Like has she been waiting all this time and not really living life? Gee, that's kind of sad. But Willow?

The girl is clinical in terms of her guilt and angst. She married a man so that she wouldn't feel like she was cheating on Tara? How incredibly sad! Everything about this udpate. Everything. Is sad. So sad and heartbreaking. I will say this: it gives a great run-up to the reunion which I assume will happen next.

Arggghhh.

[watty]

I don't know who comes across as sadder, Willow or Tara. I've decided Willow "wins" that honor, at least Tara seems to have made something of her life (the non-relationship part at least). Willow seems to be stuck in pretty much the same place she was when Tara left her, even though in her mind she's a different person. It's sad to see her so depressed. I was struck by how she speaks like a deflated balloon, with absolutely no spark at all in her life. I had help picking this next passage out, but in retrospect it's so obvious. Back at the party that they both remembered,

“I need to—”

“Go. Yeah, me too. I have a party.”

“Will, I—good luck.”

“I need to—”

“Go. Yeah, me too. I have a party.”

“Will, I—goodbye.”

I have no doubt that Willow heard "goodbye" even though Tara said "good luck" -- and I believe Tara's recollection to be the more accurate version. She (Tara) had no reason to say goodbye at that point. But Willow's state of mind refuses to accept words that are less harsh because she believes she deserved to be punished, doesn't she. It'll be hard to snap her out of that spiral of self-hate.

‘Surviving Abuse: A Practical Guide to Escaping Unhealthy Relationships’

Again with the low opinion of herself but she assumes that Tara was writing about her? And only her? That's a wee bit vain of her, I think. I don't deny that Tara will use some of her own experience from their failed relationship, but I'd like to give Tara the benefit of doubt that she was professional and therefore not going to project her own life and issues when writing the book.

If anything, I have respect for Benjamin. Age difference aside, he got into the marriage with his eyes mostly open, I think.

I could have said I was looking at pictures of the Buddha hang-gliding naked and he wouldn’t have batted an eye.

And I'm thinking, it's not entirely his fault that there is no communication between them. Even loveless marriages can work on certain levels, if both parties agree what they are looking for in that arrangement -- in addition to tax reasons there can be companionship or a semblance of friendship. I'm not sure if Willow told him she's (still, always has been) gay but I'd wager he won't be shocked if/when she tells him. We have talked about the ending for this fic, when W/T ride off happily into the sunset, I can see him being the one to send them off with his blessings. They both have a long way to go, emotionally, and I'm thinking they need every scrap of help they can get.
[br]

[DaddyCatALSO]

Honestly, I can't help but feel sorry for anyone who loses Willow because, well, she's Willow. . The only thing I could feel worse about is losing Tara . . .which happened 15 years ago.

[EasierSaid]

Imagine my surprise when I saw that you had a new story! And two parts in already, my goodness. Guess that's what I get for being all sporadic with the visits and what not.

Great, great job. Really. I was very moved when I read the first two parts - heart-tugging stuff, and exactly the kind of writing that first drew me to this board in the first place; emotional, immediate and good ol' fashioned romantic (in the lit sense of the word). I really admire how you ensured that each first person account had its own voice and its own reality; Tara sounds like Tara and Willow sounds like Willow (and not versions of the same person with different turns of phrase, you know?). The accounts felt like two different, distinct people remembering how one time in their lives affected them profoundly, which is amazingly difficult to pull off. Not quite mirror remembrances, but certainly very close. Writing in first person is not an easy task, but you manage beautifully - great job. I am suitably impressed! (But then, was there any doubt, really? *Of course* you were going to write this well, you're a great writer.)

The storyline itself: oof. Love is a tricky game and it's amazing what some people put themselves through when there's no closure, and when the rememberence of something wonderful grips you as you try and move forward. Willow putting herself in a marriage so she wouldn't have to deal with facing her issues is gutting, and Tara's feeling of drifting... again, gutting. Naturally, I have absolute faith in you as you bring these two together (board rules, you have no choice, muahhaah), but definitely don't rush if you feel like you'd like to take some time with it. I know I wouldn't mind reading more of this, than less, if you know what I mean. Great job, Cam.

[tarawhipped]

Replies to Part 2…[br][br]
Emms: Why thank you, Emmy! Coming from one of the best heart-wrenchers out there, I’m very grateful.[br]
tazraven:

The married to a man thing isn’t so bad as the entire marriage itself. It’s a sham

It is, and not even a yummy yam sham. I was worried about that plot point, but am relieved that everyone has taken it for what it is…Willow’s twisted way of remaining ‘faithful’ to Tara, even though she’s had no reason to do so, or hope for anything to come of it.[br]

It’s like their on pause, just waiting to see each other and get that closure or new beginning

Well put, Sara, and exactly right. They both think of themselves as different, but are they really? How much do people change, deep down? The talking won’t really happen yet, but soon. Thank you.[br]
Dianneswillowtree: Thank you so much. I’m moved when people get something out of what I write, even if it’s painful memories. I’m sure there are people who met early on, fell in love, and stayed together forever, but I think most of us have at least one or two of those fleeting moments that are hard to completely let go of, even years later. Rest assured that there will be a happy ending here.[br]
dline: I have to admit that I love the angst, but I’ve always preferred reading it to writing it, though there is a comfort factor in knowing how it’s going to turn out. *glares at several writers, who shall remain nameless but you all know who you are!* [br]

I hope that they both haven’t spent the entire 15 years pining

I went with the assumption that they both were more in denial, of sorts…living their lives and purposefully trying not to think about each other. That’s not much healthier, but I didn’t want it to seem as though they’ve both been in constant misery for 15 years. Thanks, Diane.[br]
spells42: Thank you, Anne, and yes they did. This next part leads up to them meeting, so the getting back together will be another chapter or two.[br]
writerfreak: Wow, I’m blown away by the praise, and hope the rest lives up to it. Thank you so much.[br]
willohand: Hmm…trying to decipher the all emoticon feedback. Thanks.[br]
mole: lol…sorry for mocking the typo, Michelle…I just can’t help myself sometimes. [br]

[Willow] claims to be a different person, but I would argue that she hasn’t changed all that much. She’s hiding in a sham marriage to avoid the pain of losing Tara

And you would win that argument, ‘cause it’s correct (not that I would argue otherwise since I’m not a debating type person unless you’re my sister and I’m feeling particularly contrary). They’ve both found ways to avoid moving on, and for Willow (who has a long history of abandonment issues), what’s safer than good ‘ol stable, no expectations Benjamin? Definitely recreating her parents’ marriage, or my take on it. Thanks also for the comments on Willow’s voice. As for repressing her magic, though…I didn’t even think about the connection. I had in mind more that she feels it was Tara, or Tara’s love, that made her unique, but of course that and the magic are closely associated. As per my usual M.O., though, I hate writing anything around the magic ‘cause I suck at it, so it didn’t even occur to me. Thank you for reading.[br]
witchlove:

I can not wait to see what happens to them when they see each other

Wellll, they do see each other at the end of this next part, but most of the reactions will be in the following update. So I hope you can wait, and thank you so much for the remarks on how real the characters seem, Steph. That means a lot to me.[br]
db:

[Willow] seems angry and lost and very self loathing

My assumption was that Willow would continue to blame herself for screwing everything up, and yeah, she did do most of the initial damage, but they’re both to blame for not trying harder. I’m glad you thought she was brave for going back…and I agree with you. I think they both are, but especially Willow. Cling to the hope! Hope is good, and will pay off…after some more angst. Hehehe. Thank you![br]
Safuega:

talk about two ships passing each other in the night

Darn you! *shakes fist* Now I have Barry Manilow in my head! You aren’t a Wolfram & Hart lawyer, are you? [br]

I’m a little puzzled as to why Tara would think the ball was in Willow’s court

Basically because when Tara started to say something (leading up to asking her to coffee), Willow interrupted her and completely shot her down, saying she had plans. Should Tara have tried again? Yes, but by that time they’d already drifted (to continue your nautical theme ) and weren’t reading each other correctly. As you point out, they were young. Now that they’re so much older and wiser, everything’s bound to go smoothly, right? Buwahahahacoughcough.[br]
Your comments on Willow and Benjamin and their relationship are exactly right. They’re still companionable, even if they aren’t close, and it’s allowed Willow to avoid acting on an attraction to someone who will compare unfavorably to Tara, since she can dismiss any interest (her own or others) by playing the ‘I’m married’ card. Thanks for the feedback, and I hope you like the rest.[br]
sadie:

I can’t wait for them to meet again and see what happens!

Well, as I already mentioned to witchlove, the meeting part will just barely happen in this next part, but I’ll try not to string it out too long, okay? Thanks.[br]
JustSkipIt:

Tear out my heart a little bit?

[br]
This from the woman who’s writing Waiting For Dani; the woman who wrote Paths Diverged/Divulged? Umm…wow yourself. High praise indeed. The next part is 73.9 % less sad (results may vary, see package insert for complete details). As for your assumption about the reunion happening next…well, they get there…at the end. Conversation won’t actually take place until part 4, though. You’ve been warned! Thank you, Debra.[br]
watty:

I don’t know who comes across as sadder, Willow or Tara. I’ve decided Willow “wins” that honor

*pins blue ribbon on Willow, who whoops and shouts “in your face, girlfriend!” to Tara, who immediately bursts into tears. Willow is disqualified for her unseemly display of glee, and Tara wins by default* [br]
As for their lives, I didn’t go into Willow’s as much, but I wanted to at least hint that she was an outward success, in something vaguely scientific, that I refuse to go into in more detail on the grounds that I’ll look stupid. I think they’re both stuck, emotionally, though Willow perhaps has less human contact to alleviate her grief. Tara can focus on her patients’ problems, but Willow’s left alone a lot. Those scenes on the show when Willow was crying in the bathroom (after learning Xander was Faith’s bitch), in Oz’s room (after the dummy bailed), and in the bathroom again (after Tara left) were all so gutwrenching, and in each one she was alone. It’s like she feels she has to shoulder it all herself, like she doesn’t think she deserves comfort. And now I’m sad and want to give her a hug. [br]
Thank you for pointing out the misheard line the last time they met, and your take on it is spot on. Tara said one thing, and Willow heard another, and neither realized how it and the aftermath affected the other.[br]
Regarding Willow’s vanity at thinking Tara was writing about her…I agree. At this point, though, Willow’s already been threatened by Buffy into coming back, and is in a bit of a spiral of recriminations and self-loathing, added to the fact that she’s refused to listen to any news of Tara over the years. Maybe it’s about Tara’s stupid family…who knows?[br]
I’m glad you (and so far everyone who’s mentioned him) think Benjamin is an okay guy. I went out of my way to make him as non-threatening as possible, and there will be no Oz-like last minute play to claim Willow. I probably made him a little too vague, neglecting what he could possibly get out of the relationship, but I figured as an aging bachelor professor/researcher, he also has an out from colleagues trying to set him up. Maybe he’s gay too. I dunno. He’s definitely the stalwart, stand-up guy who would never stand in the way of true love, not even his wife’s. Thanks for everything, Watty.[br]
DaddyCatALSO: Yes, losing a Willow or a Tara would suck, but 15 years is just a grain of sand in the hourglass of eternity. Okay, that was lame. Thanks for reading![br]
EasierSaid: Thanks, Heather, I’m glad you dropped by and read this, and getting praise from you on the emotional stuff is very gratifying, since [singing]nobody does it better[/singing]. Sorry ‘bout that, but I had to get Barry out of my head *glares at Safuega again*[br]

I really admire how you ensured that each first person account had its own voice and its own reality

I’m really glad you thought so, as it was my biggest worry. I’m trying to take enough time off between parts so that they do remain distinct, but writing first person is hard![/whining][br]

it’s amazing what some people put themselves through when there’s no closure, and when the rememberence of something wonderful grips you as you try to move forward

Word, dude. Only now I keep hearing Willow in Where the Wild Things Are: “Transform your pain. Release your past. And… uh… get over it.” Hehehe…I love that! No closure yet, but baby steps toward reconnecting and the Big Gay Love.[br][br][br]

[tarawhipped]

Reunion
by Tarawhipped
Rated R
Distribution: Different Colored Pens & Mystic Muse. All others please ask first.
Disclaimer: All things Buffy are the sole property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Summary: see part 1[br][br][br]
Tara[br][br]
The first thing I noticed on the cab ride in from the airport was how little Sunnydale had changed. It was as though I’d traveled back in time rather than flying cross-country. Other than a few new franchise restaurants in place of the old, the only discernible difference was the hotel where the reunion would be held. It was huge, at least by Sunnydale standards…fifteen stories and glaringly modern. Xander’s company had done some of the construction, and he’d been talking it up so much I was almost sorry I’d cancelled my reservation to stay there. Dawn had been insistent, however.[br]
“You are not staying in a hotel,” she’d informed me, and to my amusement she sounded exactly like her sister lecturing her so many years ago.[br]
“I don’t want to put you out,” I’d explained, even as I turned on my laptop. I’d already turned down Buffy’s offer, even after she’d hastily added that I could have Dawnie’s old room. There were too many memories in that house.[br]
“Tara, we have tons of room, and I want you to see the new place, and you’re staying, and that’s final.”[br]
“This is all a ploy to get me to baby sit, isn’t it?” I’d teased, cradling the phone in my shoulder as I went ahead and emailed my cancellation.[br]
“Well, now that you mention it,” she laughed, and I followed suit. We both knew I would do it happily. I’d last had Dawn and Grant out for a visit when Katie was four, but this would be my first time seeing the baby.[br]
Most importantly, I knew she wouldn’t ask me if Willow was staying with them. I knew by now that she was coming. Xander had called to invite me to a barbecue he and Anya were throwing the day after the reunion. He told me everyone would be there, the whole gang, but when I had echoed “everyone?” he went suspiciously silent on details. I knew there was no avoiding it, and that we were bound to run into each other at the reunion, but seeing her in a room filled with several hundred people was a far cry from an intimate family gathering. Especially if she brought her husband.[br]
I shook the thought away as the taxi pulled to a stop in front of a large two-story Colonial in one of the wealthier sections of town. I was only halfway up the walk to the front porch when the door swung open and Grant came rushing out to hug me and take my suitcase. Dawn stood on the porch, cradling Jeremy in one arm and smiling widely.[br]
“Buffy took Katie to judo, but they should be back soon,” she said, hugging me with her free arm.[br]
“Judo? She’s six!”[br]
“I know, but she loves it, and it’s her special weekly Aunt Buffy time. Trade you,” she said, taking my briefcase and handing me the baby. After a quick house tour and frequent comments on the cuteness of Jeremy, we settled down in the living room.[br]
“This place is amazing, Dawn.”[br]
“I know, I still feel like I’m house sitting for some rich person who’s going to show up any minute and yell ‘get out!’ When Grant made partner last year we knew we could afford it, but I sometimes still miss that crappy apartment we had.”[br]
“I know what you mean. I miss my beach house even though it was drafty and the kitchen floor slanted and the wiring was an accident waiting to happen,” I thought fondly.[br]
“But you like living in Boston?” she asked, an odd hesitance to her voice.[br]
“I do,” I nodded, and it was true. Three months prior I’d bought a condo in one of the historic red brick bowfront houses in the South End, and roughly half the residents on my block were gay. “The commute was killing me, and now I can walk to my office. You should come visit again.”[br]
“We’d love that,” she said, as Jeremy started howling and clutching at my shirt. “Maybe when this monster is a little older. It’s past his lunch time,” she admitted, taking him from me and pulling up her shirt. “If you want to go rest for a while or freshen up, I’ll call you when Buffy gets here.”[br]
I nodded and made my way up to my room. I wasn’t used to the long flight, and while I knew I should rest, just being back in Sunnydale had me feeling unbalanced. Subtracting three hours from my watch, I knew I still had four more until the reunion, but there was no way I was going to calm down enough to nap. I unpacked my bag, hung up my clothes, made a mental note to ask Dawn for a steamer, and sat down on the four poster bed to meditate.[br]
It felt like minutes later when a soft knock on the door pulled me out of my repose, but a glance at the bedside clock confirmed it had been almost an hour.[br]
“Come in.”[br]
“Tara!” Katie yelled, launching herself onto my lap. Buffy stood in the doorway, smiling.[br]
“Good thing you were sitting down,” she said wryly. “She’s learning how to knock people over.”[br]
“Only bad people,” Katie insisted.[br]
“Then I’d better be extra good,” I replied seriously.[br]
“Okay midget, your dad’s probably got the bath ready,” Buffy stated, shooing her niece out of the room and closing the door. “It’s good to see you, Tare.”[br]
“You too, Buffy,” I said, rising to give her a hug. “Have you shrunk?”[br]
“Funny,” she answered in a warning tone, though her smile was genuine. “How are you?”[br]
“Oh, you know…it’s strange being back. I expected it to be different somehow, but it’s the same old Sunnydale. What about you? Enjoying your retirement yet?”[br]
Buffy pursed her lips and huffed dismissively. It had come as a shock to everyone when she’d woken up on her thirty-fifth birthday to find her Slayer powers gone. Giles had researched the phenomenon, but even the Watchers Council was at a loss. No Slayer had ever lived close to that long, and their best hypothesis was that the powers had a limited lifespan. It was a challenge for her, learning to live as a regular person again, and she hadn’t entirely accepted it. In the absence of a resident Slayer, she continued to patrol. Retirement jokes aside, I knew it was hard on her to let go of something that had been such a big part of her life.[br]
“If I ever ‘retire,’ I’ll let you know. I’ll expect a party.”[br]
“Done.”[br]
“Seriously though…are you okay? About tonight, I mean?”[br]
“Seriously? I’m a little…nervous,” I admitted, sitting back down on the bed and picking at a loose thread on the duvet. “I expected things to be different.”[br]
“So you said,” she answered, sitting down next to me. “Or were you not talking about Sunnydale this time?”[br]
I looked at her in surprise, though it shouldn’t really shock me anymore when Buffy is perceptive. She might play up her ditziness on occasion, but she’s always been smarter than people gave her credit for. I looked down at the floor, feeling like the self-conscious ball of nerves I used to be. Was I different? Was she? Sure, the circumstances of our lives had changed, but deep down…well, there was the obvious. Buffy moved to kneel down in front of me, forcing me to make eye contact.[br]
“What do you really want to know?” she asked.[br]
“Do you know, did she bring…oh, forget it, it doesn’t matter.”[br]
“She’s alone. I told you, they’re not really…I don’t know what they are, but it’s not like Dawn and Grant or Xander and Anya.”[br]
“Oh god,” I laughed, steepling my hands in front of my mouth and shaking my head. “I don’t know why I even asked that. It’s not like it matters.”[br]
“Uh huh,” she said evenly, though her eyes clearly disputed my remark.[br]
“What?”[br]
“Oh come on, Doctor Maclay. You may be the psychologist here, but even I know repressed feelings when I see them.”[br]
“Buffy…I didn’t come here to…I mean, yes, I want to see her; it’ll be nice, I hope.”[br]
“You still have feelings for each other,” Buffy stated, and I couldn’t deny it, at least on my end.[br]
“Of course I do, it’s only natural. She was my first love.” ‘Only love,’ my traitorous brain echoed. “But I’m happy now. I have my friends, my practice, my writing.”[br]
“Sounds lonely.”[br]
“Well it’s not,” I lied.[br]
“The revolving door of short-term flings keep you fulfilled?”[br]
“I manage,” I squirmed, suddenly aware of how much Buffy and I had in common, and more to the point how, given that fact, she knew I was lying.[br]
“Still seeing ‘call me Jack’?” she asked with a grin, dropping her voice to a register I didn’t know she could hit.[br]
“No, and stop that. Jackie was sweet,” I insisted. “She really liked you. If you come out again, I’m sure I could fix you up,” I teased.[br]
“She reminded me of Riley, only manlier.”[br]
“Don’t give me any grief Buffy. I know a thing or two about your so-called love life. Dawn told me about Stu,” I smirked as her eyes widened and she held up her hands in surrender.[br]
Grant knocked on the door and told us Dawn had fixed a light dinner. I stood and was heading for the door when Buffy stopped me with a hand on my forearm.[br]
“Tara, I’m just saying…maybe the reason you haven’t met anyone special is because you already met the person you’re meant to be with.”[br]
“Buffy,” I sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted and irritated by the conversation. “I didn’t come here to rekindle anything; I came for closure.”[br]
She looked me in the eye before crossing over to the closet, which I’d left open, and flipped through the clothes hanging on the door.[br]
“Four dresses and a suit? For a weekend? Doesn’t look like closure to me. Looks like someone was anxious to look like a hottie.”[br]
She started to walk away, content to know she had my number without my confirmation. She paused with her hand on the doorknob and looked smugly at me over her shoulder.[br]
“She brought five dresses and three suits.”[br][br][br][br]
I found I couldn’t eat much, though it was due more to nerves than Dawn’s cooking, which had markedly improved since her ‘avant-garde’ phase, as Grant so kindly put it. A glass of wine calmed my head somewhat, but left my stomach even more distressed. Buffy wolfed down several helpings of chicken and pesto pasta before rushing home to get ready. She agreed to be back at 7:00 to pick me up, which thankfully left me little time to worry as I showered and dried my hair. I spent a good twenty minutes standing in my slip, trying to decide what to wear before Dawn barged into my room, steamer in hand, and tossed aside my pick.[br]
“Nope. This one,” she insisted, pulling down the dress I’d bought the week before and subsequently decided I wasn’t brave enough to wear in public. I didn’t even remember packing it. She ignored my pleading look and shoved me into the bathroom. When I emerged, she was sifting through the underwear in my open suitcase.[br]
“I can dress myself, you know,” I said, scowling playfully. She threw a bra at my head.[br]
“Lose the slip and put that on. I’m used to dressing a very strong-willed, fidgety six year old, Tara. Don’t argue with me; you’ll lose.”[br]
Buffy arrived as Dawn was zipping me up, and together they went about fixing my hair. I gave up any pretense of dissent and decided to pretend I was at the spa. When they declared the job finished and led me over to the full length mirror, I had to admit the Summers sisters knew their stuff. Grant whistled his appreciation as we descended the stairs, while Katie declared “dresses, yuck!” and continued practicing her pinning technique on the family dog, who wagged her tail lazily. Dawn snapped a picture as we stood in the front hallway.[br]
“No drinking and driving,” she lectured. “Call us if you need a ride home.”[br]
“Yes mom,” we snickered in unison.[br]
“Have fun at the prom, girls.”[br][br][br][br]
We arrived on the fashionable side of late, and when I walked into the ballroom, I had to admit it gave off a definite prom vibe, though never having gone to one, maybe it was just my perception. A banner strung above the check-in table announced “Welcome, UC-Sunnydale Class of 2003.” A red carpet led from the double doors to the parquet dance floor, with dozens of large gold cloth draped tables clustered on either side. Yards of blue and gold streamers ran from the central chandelier to the walls, where blown-up posters of 15 to 18-year-old concerts, plays, and sporting events were hung. On the far side of the dance floor was a small stage, on which a string octet was apparently playing, though they could barely be heard over the din of conversation. In the corner behind the orchestra was a currently unoccupied DJ booth. White-jacketed wait staff deftly negotiated the crowd with trays laden with cocktails and appetizers.[br]
The crowd was larger than I’d expected; easily four hundred people, with many still arriving. People were dressed in everything from formalwear to shorts, though all wore the requisite stick-on name tag. I looked down at my dress in dismay before slapping the sticker on my left boob. Buffy chuckled and led me by the arm toward the bar to the left of the doors, where we had a good view of the room.[br]
Without conscious thought I scanned the area, noting one or two vaguely familiar faces as my eyes passed from one to another. I had yet to see anyone I really wanted to talk to when I half turned to accept a glass of wine from Buffy and caught a glimpse of red hair in the midst of a group entering the ballroom. Without even seeing a face, I knew, and my stomach did a painful leap into my chest before dropping back into place with a thump. The group split apart in twos and threes, and then she was just there, not twenty feet away. She hadn’t seen me yet, giving me a chance to stare for a moment, unimpeded.[br]
She was beautiful. Her hair was curled in loose waves, reaching to her jaw line. She wore a tailored black suit with a tuxedo style shirt, the top two buttons opened casually. I couldn’t help but notice she’d kept her trim figure, but her sallow complexion made me worry that it was due not to exercise but from lack of eating. I looked at her shaking hands, always so expressive, but now they seemed almost fragile as she wrung them convulsively, wiped them on her pants legs, and finally stuffed them into her jacket pockets. I couldn’t keep the troubled frown from my face as my gaze traveled back up to her eyes, which were now directed solely at me.[br]
Her face crumbled and she looked away, her shoulders slumping. I could have kicked myself, but luckily Buffy had seen the interaction, and gently squeezed my arm as she passed by me. I stood like a statue while they exchanged a few words and tried to catch her eyes again, but while they repeatedly darted in my direction, she refused to look at me. Just when I was steeling myself to move, they began walking toward me, though it appeared as if Buffy was practically dragging her. I took a deep breath and held out my hand.[br]
“Willow.”[br][br][br]
TBC[br][br]

[imjustme]

She held out her hand? not for a handshake i hope...i think that if an old lover of mine held her hand out to me to shake it, i'd die. i'd settle for a small wave or anything but a handshake. so maybe it's something else. i really love this story by the way. it's very creative and i just love all of the tension. can't wait to see willow's pov. well, don't keep us waiting all too long.

andi

[dlline]

Nice update. I love the way you tell this story with the alternating POV.

I love this part especially. It made me laugh out loud.

...though all wore the requisite stick-on name tag. I looked down at my dress in dismay before slapping the sticker on my left boob.

I hate those effing stickers. Ya know?

We're back to the palpable discomfort that you paint so well. I hope it gets better soon before someone leaves my bleeding carcass for dead.

Just keep it coming... I can't wait.

Diane

[Willowtree252]

Well TW you have made my heart skip a beat . Lets skip the dresses and have naked snuggles instead (hehe) just me trying to make the best of a hard time and ease things more soon please

[diamondforever]

Geez, that was well written. My emotions were literally bouncing back and forth on the angst scale. This is such a beautiful untold story that I'm so glad you're exploring.

Awesome job. Waiting eagerly for the update.

[musicmad10]

Wow! Loving the update. I love the way you've written the story and the characters, you can really see it happening. I really hope you write fast and don't leave us in suspense too long!

Hannah-musicmad10

[writerfreak]

At first I thought I was speechless. Then I read through it two more times and all I can really think to express now is that it keeps getting better and better. The praise is so totally deserved. You are most welcome.

writerfreak

[sadie]

I can only agree with all the above comments (and praises!!). You actually feel the awkwardness!
Can't wait for the next update now ;D

[Fin]

Great read Cam, really looking forward to next update,
Cheers
Fin

[mole]

Ouch! And, just in case that wasn't clear, I'll reiterate it...OUCH!

Just when I was steeling myself to move, they began walking toward me, though it appeared as if Buffy was practically dragging her. I took a deep breath and held out my hand.

“Willow.”

I saw this as less of a preparation for a handshake and more of a reaching out toward something fragile, something lost and found again, something that you need to touch in order to believe it's really there. A reconnection, I suppose. Beautifully written.

Thanks for the bits of humor. Tara's banter with Dawn and with Buffy is a nice break from the pain of lost loves and missed opportunities.

This cracked me up:) Talk about "large with the butch"!

“No, and stop that. Jackie was sweet,” I insisted. “She really liked you. If you come out again, I’m sure I could fix you up,” I teased.

“She reminded me of Riley, only manlier.”

Looking forward to Willow's side of things.
Michelle

[willohand]

oh great now Im wound so tight I cant even walk. So Im just going to sit here and wait for the next update. Dont make me wait too long. I might get stuck here.

[db]

Ack!

Willow! Tara! Dressing up and hand wringing and frowning and is frowning worriedly and they are all nervous and when do our poor girls get some relief?! Communication is hard but, Tara's got a PhD -- can't Tara just *tell* Willow that she doesn't think that Willow is evil? Sheesh. Can't Willow admit that she married for convenience 'cause she would never love again 'cause Tara's the only one for her. <-- insert large angsty sigh here. Well, I guess they'd have to talk first. Oy, with the amount of angst piled on here -- it is going to have to be a really really long talk. Possibly involving nourishment and booze.

...and I think I'll just pull up a chair and have a seat *right here* until you show me what happens next!

db

[witchlove]

I cant wait to see what willow does that day. so much suppense

[Reallybigpineapple]

Dammit, girlfriend, you're a good writer...
This story will allmost make me stop nagging about The legend of green...

And this from a person who really hates "they never got back together/Tara left Sunnydale/Willow chose Oz"-stories.
But you've got me. You're just too damned good, I guess.

[JustSkipIt]

Ooo Cam. What an awesome update. I love the kind of hour-by-hour view of Tara's visit. Nice that she has such a great connection with Dawn & Buffy still. That rocks.

And the tension... So very very well done. I can't wait to see what's next.

ETA: Thanks for the shout-outs.

[ringwaldoeuvre]

Always love to see a new story from you, and this one is interesting, particularly for the different perspectives. A tale can be told a million ways, and it changes with every one. I am forced to recall Akira Kurasawa's "Rashoman," and how the same incident was reported four different ways and differed drastically.

Both perspectives accurately reflect the nature of both characters, almost to an extreme. Tara is as humble as ever, and Willow is as distant as ever. Well written, in a subtle way.

Maybe I'm in a mood to appreciate tales about the re-examination of one's young adult years, but this story seems to balance the importance of a plot along with the reflective, character-building flashbacks in a way that is not trite or redundant. Looking forward to more.

[watty]

I was in a headache-induced haze at the weekend, for not figuring out where they lived. I'm such a dimwit sometimes, no wonder you sounded confused. And now I've figured it out, I want to know if that's one of the ways you'll bring them back together. But I digress.

The new chapter made me temporarily happy, reading the easy, family-like interactions between Tara and the Summers sisters. It doesn't seem like she's been away -- 15 years, thousands of miles and separate lives are not conducive to maintaining closeness. Interesting that Slayer powers only last till 35, but sense of responsibility never dies. That's a useful snippet to build another (albeit Buffycentric) fic on, don't you think?

Re: dresses and suits. How funny that Willow is even spazzier than Tara. And how funny that we subconsciously worry about clothes and appearances if the people we're meeting matter. The fiddling with her dress, stomach churning etc was a sign of nervousness, but not overly so. Perhaps she is better at hiding her spazziness or that she has some inner psychologist confidence booster thing going on. Willow definitely was much more on edge. I thought she was gonna cry when she was talking to Buffy.

And that tiny, tentative reaching out of Tara's hand. What do you say under these circumstances? Do? Do you breathe? Blink? Faint? Personally, I cannot picture myself doing anything apart bolting from the room. What is going through Tara's mind at the sight of Willow not looking at her? Not wanting to come near? I can't imagine the next few minutes being comfortable at all. I can just hear to stilted attempt at conversation, the awkward silences and Buffy trying in vain to act as a bridge. Eeeep sorry, I'll let you write your story. It's just that from the moment you told me about the story, it's made me think and look back. No, I've not had similar experiences but like Mary said above, I'm at the stage of my life when I'm constantly looking back to my younger days and wondering if I made the right decisions. This story sets a tone that strikes deep into those musings.
[br]

[EasierSaid]

Lovely update Cam - I'm really glad you went back to Tara's POV in the march up to the meet in this update. The relaxed familiarity between Tara and the Summers girls was a great contrast to the building anxiety about the inevitable running into Willow. It's like you could feel the smiles and chit chat over dinner masking the ball of nerves building in Tara's stomach. I really liked Buffy's observation about the amount of clothes both Tara and Willow brought for the weekend - isn't that the truth? Lord knows I certainly would overpack in a similar situation! Can never hurt to have too many outfit options, even if you do have to check a monster bag at the airport.

I think one reason why I liked Tara's POV is that it seems like her question about who Willow has become since they were together is much more fundemental, and much more vague, than Willow's similar thoughts about Tara. Great to confront that before the meetup, if even subtly. From Willow's POV, Tara has (maybe) written a self-help book about their time together, and is dating women - though she's not the same girl from their days together, she's a logical extension of who that girl was. Tara on the other hand, has to be wondering exactly who Willow is - I mean, married to a much older guy, and, according to Buffy, not even romantically involved with her husband? Who is this Willow? Will she resemble, at all, the girl from their days together? That's a huge set of questions for Tara to have swirling around her brain; to feel like there's a chance she might not even recognize someone she loves so much? Ugh. I think the situation is very intriguing, and I can't wait to see how you resolve those questions and reintroduce the girls to each other.

I also really liked your description of Tara looking over Willow for the first time, how plainly Tara's face showed the emotions she was feeling. Of course, this means some confusion for Willow, who happened to see Tara's "poor dear" face, but still, very well done. Can't wait to read more.

p.s. Loved the image of the dog allowing the kid to manhandle it; lazy dogs are the best.

[Alcy]

Hi Cam, I'm thoroughly enjoying this trip into the heart of angst land, giggles and smut is all very nice but there's nothing like sitting down for a quiet evening with some (extremely) well written angst.
Just a comparison between the two of your fics that I'm reading at the moment, LGER and Reunion shows what a fantastic range you have with your writing, angst, comedy, action - you're good at all of them.

How painful this is for our two girls, after 15 years they're still not over each other (I tend to think that 2 months is an awfully long time to get over someone). You told the story beautifully leading up to their meeting, setting a scene that was rife with the tension of unrequited love and I can't wait for its continuation!
Cheers
Alcy

[Safuega]

Cam wrote:

[blockquote]Darn you! *shakes fist* Now I have Barry Manilow in my head! You aren’t a Wolfram & Hart lawyer, are you? [/blockquote]

Oh sorry! No, no WH lawyer, just a regular corporate lawyer with an unexpected knack for sticking Manilow songs in people's heads apparently, just the other day I stuck 'Copacabana' in a friend's head at the firm. So sorry, I did not know I had evil secret powers.

Now for the story, oh Cam, Willow is such a mess and so sad. I will say that it's debatable that Tara has 'moved on' b/c it does not look like that from where I am standing. Sure, outwardly Tara seems to have moved on but this whole notion about wanting 'closure' says to me that she's been just as stuck as Willow only a little busier in the dating scene.

So, it looks like you are going to stick with the 'ships passing in the night' theme for a while, huh, what with Willow catching the frown and most likely interpreting as a sign that even after all these years Tara has not forgiven her and would rather eat nails than spend even a couple of hours with her.

Also, thanks for that little tidbit about Tara living in Boston now, doesn't Willow live there now or thereabouts? I seem to recall something about MIT so I'm guessing that the story will continue post-reunion unless some sort of demon-y event keeps them trapped in there until they resolved their issues, but I digress.

Finally Cam, what gives with the hand? Tara seems to be developing this hand shaking thing when it comes to Willow. Okay, I get it, stranged ex lovers whose split was bad, but surely Tara could do better? And I don't know why all of I sudden I am finding a possible hand shake so alienating...

Thanks for sharing, Cam. Looking forward to more pain and suffering with no hope of any relief in the near future.

Safuega

[JujuDeRoussie]

Hello!
I just wanted to tell you I love the beginning even if it's really hmm sad? I don't know exactly what word can explain what i feel...
Thank you
Julia

[Emms]

OMG! Cam... how much do I love this fic? THIS MUCH!... wait.... you can't see me...well imagine that I'm standing on tiptoe with my arms stretched out WIDE.

I love this fic soooo sooo much. How cute is Dawn?? CUTE! And Katie and the baby... Soooo O oooo cute!

I'm really feelin' the Tara you've created here...

and she saw Willow! They saw each other!!! I wonder if they'll get on with each other or if there will be tension between them when they talk for the first time...

can't wait for the next update...

ETA: I forgot to mention how much I liked the conversation between Buffy and Tara. It felt so natural, the way they were with each other... and Buffy's all for the reunification of Willow/Tara gay-love-y bliss... so she's okay in my book. And how sad is it that Tara isn't fulfilled in her love life? But how could she be.... even she's admitted to herself that she's never loved anyone but Willow..... oh the DRAMA... oh the potential ANGST....

oh my... I love it...

ETA (again)((geeze... I wish my thoughts would flow a little more smoothly today... oh well...))

Cam... you think that I'm one of the best heart-wrenchers out there?? you smooth talker....!

xoxo
Emms

[Willowtree252]

Please update Cam

[cantbefredless]

i love it... *starts dancing in circles* wooo hoooo more more more!!!

[sacinema]

Ok, I admit it I'm to slow and to lazy to leave proper FB with every story I read and love. But I try to get better with it. And your story so deserves it. To speak clearly: I totally love it. I'm kinda addicted to Reunion stories. I love when the girls had to go through hard times but managed to live their lives before they get back together (they do have at least as long as you post hear. Advantage for us).

Your writing is definitely very good, in a way both sensual and concrete, using powerful imagery. The first pov is normally not something I'm very fond of in stories. But when someone uses it in a good way which makes sense it's wonderful. And you do that. It's wonderful to know what's working inside both their heads.

If they weren't we wouldn't have a story, but they are both a bit out of their fucking minds. Come on, avoiding one another for 15 years? Avoiding the love of your live that long? Girls, think of all the things you've missed with one another. I hope they won't regret that soon.

The conversation between Tara and Buffy was the best. Buffy seems to know very well what's going on between those two. That's the part I loved most

“Four dresses and a suit? For a weekend? Doesn’t look like closure to me. Looks like someone was anxious to look like a hottie.”

She started to walk away, content to know she had my number without my confirmation. She paused with her hand on the doorknob and looked smugly at me over her shoulder.

“She brought five dresses and three suits.”

In just a few sentences you managed to say everything about the Reunion and what it means for both the girls. And Buffy didn't admit it in the open. So much subtext in it. And she also made sure Tara won't chicken out. Because she knows now for sure that Willow is feeling the same as her: frightened.

And I nearly started to drool over the description of Willow's entrance. I so can picture her in a sexy suit. Not to speak of Tara and the dress she didn't dare to wear. Thanks to Dawn she did. The Summer sisters are the best til now, working together perfectly in the best interests of our girls.

Thanks for the story, the regularly updating and for keeping the girls alive. I'm dying to know what will happen after they actually met.