I thought I’d go through a few selected drabbles and talk about them. Reflect on them and give titbits of why they were written.
Starting with an early one -
breast feeding.I think It’s one of my favourites because it’s got the monster, it’s got the humour, it’s got characterisation of Tara being caring and willow being snippy but also has the social commentary on breast feeding. The joke being on Willow and Tara rather than the mums. It’s always how people react not the action. It looks like they’ve come in to the maternity ward to protest.
I’m pairing
Dawn’s Diary with
Phone sex.I explain it in the author’s note but it really was an idea I had for a long time. I don’t think I’ve captured what I’m after yet but I do think it’s possible for a Willow and Tara story to be told without them as the character focus but very much the thematic focus.
I like to think I started strong then drifted because next I’m going for the
chat fic.I enjoy a typo and this is actually what I planned to explore with part of the Justice for Tara Maclay series. A long distance relationship while they’re both recovering independently because I feel the next stage in their relationship is growing individually but still seeing they can do it together without hurting each other. Its navigating how they can ask/give for support when each one needs it and communication is difficult in turbulent times for them both. What do they hide, what do they divulge. There’s so much of their relationship that doesn’t need words so when they only have words, how does that work?
Favourable featuresHate it. Absolutely cannot stand this one. I was having trouble with the prompt and thought heartbeat. Smut is a popular fic thing. I won’t write it for many reasons, I don’t like reading it for many reasons. I’m not digging at those who do. It’s not something I’m comfortable with so I don’t.
It was less than 50 words I think and I had to bulk it out but I don’t want to write that they kissed because that’s the act. I wanted the atmosphere before it, the build-up, and the hyper sensitivity. Losing yourself in that moment and just going for it. Not planned just what the motions led to. My skin was crawling writing it because while I don’t think I crossed my line, it was close to where I draw it.
I feel like duvetted is a word but it might be my first instance of making words up in drabbles. I didn’t want pillowed, that’s puffy. I wanted something soft but lazily sitting. It’s comforting and welcoming but not saying I’ve got conjunctivitis.
The term favourable features haunts me. Its poll worthy but so unsexy. Not one to judge on that but I mean if someone whispered in your ear, ‘I love your favourable features’ You’re going to laugh your arse off and then you might not have their favourable of features.
Imaginary frogs–
The idea of Tara going back in time to help high school Willow stemmed from my first rewatch when I imagined it in every scene. Every time Willow was in danger I would tell her it’s okay Tara is coming. She’d be useless but I’d get to see Tara. The idea that Tara uses Willow’s own nonsense to help her both highlights their connection and shows their similarity. It’s a nice play off on how much Willow has effected Tara.
Frozen loo Roll–
It was meant as a joke but in reality they really don’t show this side of romance. The undesirable small things that aren’t picture perfect. If it is its played as a significant moment whereas it’s the mundane every day. Washing grotty pants, dealing with nose offending smells. Waking to their hair in your mouth. Life doesn’t play out for a laugh, it just is and sometimes its really annoying and the funny, caring side isn’t seen in it.
It’s a MurderBased on a true story, I just didn’t want to yell it out of my toilet window while I heard crows fight and my neighbours saying there’s a load of crows out front. I don’t regret not doing it because I don’t think they would have got the pun, or known who the weirdo yelling out the window while
at work is.
Bagelcorn–
Another one that I don’t like as it just doesn’t work. Again it’s something I want to work on for Justice for Tara Maclay, the idea of feeling disconnected due to guilt regarding grief. Tara didn’t know Buffy as long as Willow and Dawn and so there’s an obligation almost for her to be less effected as such and allow them to grieve (although we know Willow doesn’t). Through the memory of Buffy and stupidity they all find a connection in their loss. Grief can have happy moments too and I think that summer of series 5 into series 6 has a lot to unpack. It was too high a concept to house in 100 words. It’s a topic that needs depth.
Luxembourg magician–
Love this guy. He’s absolutely off his rockers. My thought being how offended Willow would be if a kid party magician was against them. She gets annoyed at people stereotyping witches and this guy is the stereotype of how people see magic. All tricks and eccentric. His style is absolute nonsense while Willow goes with Logic. I like to think this guy is Willow’s nemesis
Mindless Tara –
Boxes and
Pick up.
Mindless Tara is best Tara but after “You’re My Always” I have found myself more drawn to Willows side of things. I really think they gloss over what she had to do even if only for a few days. How much she lost and while Willow is a bit much in Tough Love I feel her jab at Buffy whole heartedly saying wait until it happens to someone she cares about. Tara is collateral damage to Buffy but to Willow that’s a future gone. I get it, they’re not the main characters but they deserve more for what happened at the end of series 5 instead of focusing so much on did they spend all the money. So much unresolved for them but yet they’re all happy happy just to gut punch us repeatedly. They could have done that with continued threads from series 5 but no a coffee and Tara is back!
Scottish Surgeon –
I wanted to write something grim and dark but mainly I wanted to write an accent. I have a whole back story for this guy and I really enjoy that while he’s a dangerous idiot he has no time for Willows supposedly bad ass line. Her being called a wee dafty just seems apt.
The thing –
This is based on a true goings on. I was struggling for an idea that day and so I decided to be unhelpful. On a discord chat people were talking in their labels and no definition words and being all vague and I thought screw this. And started to describe feeling this thing but not saying what the thing was. The thing was not an object but and emotion or act and I would not allow the conversation to move forward. I would reply talking about that thing and how they couldn’t forget that thing because that thing knows that thing then you know that thing you know. And these places are hive minds which brought about the link. It’s how no one says anything but act like it’s something when it’s not. Its vapid meaninglessness weaponised.
I was getting people genuinely ask me if I was okay.
Zoo Zoom –
Yeah another true story. Not the bat stuff but last time I was at a zoo I was also pushing a wheelchair for the first time. A child had to jump out of the way. And people are dicks to people with disabilities, You should see how some people push wheelchair users around a zoo.
Cloud Watching –
Didn’t think there was a point in doing these drabbles any more. I like to write things with meaning, an expression, a reason for telling the story and drabbles weren’t being a vehicle for that. It was a little reminder that there’s a bigger picture to the minute reasons.
Cheerleader Dawnie–
I like the film.
But I found myself with these drabbles being able to do touches of seriesdoesntexist like they were bite sized amounts I could stomach. As seriesdoesntexist would be part of justice for Tara Maclay but I just cant with seroesdoesntexist. I think it did give me some gumption to keep thinking how to adapt it to alive Tara though as I do like the plot just none of the characters.
Everyone’s a murderer–
The morality of Buffy annoys me to no end. It’s very it’s my way or no way and she must see vampires as lesser as she doesn’t count it as murder but yet If she’s sleeping with them they’re all good.
I don't agree with Willow killing Warren but the way Buffy washed her hands of Tara's {redacted} and was just like, Willow's an addict let the police deal with the murderer I've neglected to sort out all series when I deemed them my problem but now they've actually done something, nah we got police for that. Where's the police with Katrina Buffy? oh right out the window as soon as you realised you didn't do it. Id get her point if it wasn't a whole series arc enemy.
Plus I liked the Willow defence line for Tara but had to cut out the ‘in’ for wordcount.
Must be bunnies–
Confession time. I ask AI to tell me stories of Tara breaking up fights between Anya and different holiday mascots or people dressed in bunny suits in radom locations. I also got it to tell me of Anya teaching Tara to break dance then getting into street dance battles. There’s not enough gen Anya and Tara friend stories and AI is so bad creatively I can only see it as crack.
Willow can tend the rabbits.
Donny Birthday–
I don’t get why it’s straight no contact and why it’s made out that they’re the worst family ever. Well I do but for me it makes no sense for Tara to not love her family. Abusive families aren’t all the same and they are still grieving (not an excuse, complex time, could increase attachment needs.). Yet I don’t get her mum being a saint in fanon either. The bar is not set that high to be liked over the members we saw.
It’s the 1990s, not hearing from your kid in months is a big deal. People made an effort to communicate back then. They did let Tara go to uni so they weren’t trapping her at home. Granted it comes off as a let off the leash thing but I think there’s so many more explorations to this but I unfortunately found that there’s a general feeling that going against fanon would cause backlash. But you know don't yuck peoples yums and write for yourself. hmmhmm*eyeroll*.
The memory thought came from the Orville episode, Twice in a lifetime. How one person has a whole life of memories while onlookers have that set bit of time and that can really alter how people view others. Such as Tara’s family we see that day, we don’t know all of Tara’s life.
I also think it might piss some people off, get a reaction.