Season Six - A Kitten Rewrite - Discussion Thread

[LostWithoutTara]

ep 3 has been sent for betaing.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[justin]

I've just received it.



I'll try to get it back to you by tomorrow.

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This is a rough outline of the fourth episode



Reu Nu Pert Em Hru



Preperation



-Willow and Tara gather the ingredients for the spell



-Xander and Anya get Buffy's body



-Willow and Tara make sure that Dawn is out of the way



-They cast the spell, they all pass out



The Trials



-Tara wakes up in a desert, she is met by Willow who explains that this is Sunnydale



-Xander wakes up beside a long highway



-Anya wakes up in a hospital



-Willow wakes up alone at home with the coffin, which is empty. Searching the house she finds MKF there.



-Tara and Willow are attacked by mummies. Willow destroys them then explains it is because the dead are no longer able to cross over to the next world



-Xander finds Anya hanging from a tree by one foot



-Anya explores the hospital and is met by Halfrek who explains that the people there are Anya's victims



-Willow & MKF search the house for Buffy's body



-Tara finds Buffy's Ka



-Xander and Anya are attacked by vampires. Xander finds Buffy's Akh but Anya is killed.



-Anya finds Buffy's Ba



-Willow finds Buffy's body



Aftermath



-Everyone returns to where they cast the spell. They open the coffin to find that Buffy is alive



-Tara takes Buffy home while the others try to recover from their experiences

Socialism is all very well in practice, but does it work in theory? - Stephen Fry

Edited by: justin at: 8/25/03 8:50 am

[LostWithoutTara]

The outline sounds good (although I'm not gonna try to pronounce the title ).



Once I've received the notes from my other beta, I'll revise part three and send it again for another check before posting it.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[chilled monkey]

The outline sounds really cool. What does the title translate as?

[justin]

The title means "The book of coming forth by day" which is a book of rituals and spells that is buried along with a body.

Socialism is all very well in practice, but does it work in theory? - Stephen Fry

[LostWithoutTara]

Thanks for giving the meaning of the title. Very interesting.



Yay. And now I'm Sassy Eggs.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[LostWithoutTara]

Although this rewrite is obviously Willow/Tara centred, I think now would be a good time to decide how we are going to handle the Spike/Buffy relationship.



My main problem with what happened in S6 was that it was too ambiguous - we never learnt whether Buffy actually had feelings for Spike or whether she was just using him to punish herself. I think we have to deal with this in order to save face for both characters.



So: Is she using him to punish herself?

Does she care for him or not?

If she does care, is she okay with admitting it?



IMO, the first option is probably best, but it may make things very dark, esp with our Willow storyline running alongside it. It may be an interesting perspective though - I already have a few ideas for events and Buffy's behaviours and interactions with Spike/Willow/Dawn etc, but they're all quite dark.



What are your thoughts on this?



ETA - I've also altered the name of this thread slightly to avoid spoiling newbies to the storylines.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

Edited by: LostWithoutTara at: 8/27/03 1:39 pm

[chilled monkey]

Justin: Thanks for the translation. I see that you've really done your homework here. Cool title.



LWT: Could you post some examples of your ideas on this thread so we can get an idea what you are thinking?

[LostWithoutTara]

Wow, I really need to keep up with replies!



Re: Buffy



As Buffy is returning from heaven, there's no way to get around the fact that she is going to be majorly depressed. There's the very real possibility that she could take to self harming, and I think that her 'relationship' with Spike should be a form of her punishing herself emotionally for feeling so unhappy when everyone expects her to be happy to be alive.



It may be an interesting parallel to have Buffy's arc be about her gradual reidentification of what being human means and what it is to be alive and form bonds with other people, whilst having Willow's arc being about her increasing isolation due to her desire to be 'more than human' (by which I mean her wanting to be able to protect and save everybody by herself).

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[chilled monkey]

I think you have some very good ideas about how to handle the Spuffy problem. Your idea of Buffy hurting herself are right on the mark. It would be interesting to see how she pulls herself together over the course of the season.



One possibility that this opens up is a parallel between Buffy's actions and Riley's from S5. Perhaps in Season 7 he could return for an episode and they could come to an understanding now that Buffy has some understanding of why he did what he did?

[LostWithoutTara]

I like the Riley idea. It'd be like 'As You Were', only good.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[justin]

I like the idea of Buffy being with Spike to punish herself. I think having a reason for her being with Spike would make it better.



I also like the idea of a paralell between Buffy and Willow's stories. Perhaps Buffy's attempt to regain her humanity could be a reaction to Spike trying to turn her.

Quote:

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I like the Riley idea. It'd be like 'As You Were', only good.

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With 100% less Marie-Sue

Anya in a wimple...I'd pay full admission for that. Gods Served And Abandoned - by Antigone Unbound

[LostWithoutTara]

I know part three is still not up yet, but I thought I'd drop a quick note to say I'm going to start vaguely plotting part five soon. Given the amount of time I take, plus the fact that next week I'm on holiday (with no internet or laptop access) and that shortly after I'm moving to university, I'll need all the time I can get!



Hopefully, part three will be up very soon. I'm still awaiting some betaing to come back before I can make some final revisions.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[darkmagicwillow]

The outline for ep4 looks very interesting and well researched. Kudos, Justin. While I'm posting, I thought I'd make some comments about Buffy's storyline without getting into the B/S relationship, which I haven't had much time to think about yet.



As for Buffy returning from heaven, I suggest that it not be made that explicit. It's true that there's some evidence for the existence of the Christian god in BtVS (namely, the efficacy of crosses and holy water against vampires), but overall the tone and setting are dark and Lovecraftian rather than Christian in nature. Perhaps Buffy was someplace pleasant, perhaps she wasn't, and there can be a good story in that: look at the story of the protagonist in Zelazny's classic Lord of Light.



However, Buffy has plenty of reasons to be depressed without being torn from Heaven. Remember Joyce's death in "The Body" and remember "Weight of the World" when Buffy gave up and went catatonic? Buffy didn't jump off that tower to save the world--she jumped off it to save Dawn, who she was explicitly willing to sacrifice the world to save.



Dawn has the life that Buffy wishes she could have, free from the responsibility of being an adult and a slayer and free from the guilt and pain that have come from so many things she's had to do in those roles, from killing Angel to save the world to attempting to kill Faith to save Angel and so much more. More than a sister, Dawn is a part of Buffy, the part that she clings to as being innocent and good while she throws the rest of her life away as a weight she can no longer bear to carry.



In summary, let the nature of Buffy's resting place be a mystery, and find the drama and angst in her forced resumption of the life that she intentionally gave up because she couldn't live in any more.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

Edited by: darkmagicwillow at: 9/6/03 12:23 pm

[LostWithoutTara]

Great suggestions, dmw. I think it will make a great story arc for Buffy, especially contrasted with Dawn's unhappiness with her life (which Buffy would desire more than anything, harking back to some of the situations in S5).



Perhaps we should simply put it that Buffy was in a pleasant place, but definitely not in a perfect 'heaven' environment. That way, we still keep some transitional angst while opening up new avenues for exploration.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[chilled monkey]

LWT: I don't think it was ever confirmed that Buffy was in heaven; she just thought that she was. I like the idea of a person having no real memory of the afterlife, just vague feelings about it.



Compare it to the opening episode of 'Charmed' Season 3. When Piper returns from visiting the higher plane, she says that she doesn't remember much, just feelings of peacefulness and happiness. It wasn't as if she got to remember speaking to deceased loved ones or anything.



DMW: I agree, some excellant suggestions. A cool scene to have at some point would be to have Tara and Buffy talk, in which Buffy admits to what you have suggested.

[LostWithoutTara]

A quick belated note to say that ep 3 has been sent for more betaing.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[LostWithoutTara]

Here's the revised eps 3-10 (well, 5-10 as 3 and 4 are fine). I've incorporated DMW's Buffy ideas into 6 and put Harmony in as a 'little bad' for a few episodes.



One area I'm still having problems with is Spuffy. In episode nine, Spike learns his chip doesn't work on Buffy. What's his reaction? Is it concern or more similar to what we saw in Smashed? I personally never bought into Spike as loving Buffy, so I'm inclined to say it'd be the latter. Thoughts on this and the outline greatly appreciated!



Warning - Spoilers ahead



3: Falling - Written

Willow searches for the Urn unsuccessfully until she is given an address from Willy the Snitch, which takes her to Gabriel, who gives it to her in return for a talisman from the MB called the Eye of Horus, a small taint of corruption to draw her closer to him. The Scoobs take on a group of vamps but Willow is both still beaten and drained from constantly calling upon her magical power and consequently some innocents are killed. This sparks a major blame in Willow that she wasn't good enough and must become more powerful in order to protect the people she loves from harm.



4: Reu Nu Pert Em Hru

On Samhain, the gang digs up Buffy's coffin and performs the resurrection spell successfully. All of them are tested mentally/spiritually, seeing dark visions from beyond death which hint at possibilities for what happens at the end of this season, including a vision of Dark Willow for Tara. Anya sees visions from her past as a VD, which upset her now to her surprise. Buffy is weak and disoriented when she returns; all the Scoobies are shaken by what they've seen. Tara patches Buffy up and takes care of her at the Summers' house while the others finish the cleanup from the spell.



The spell works perfectly, but as a necessary, unavoidable consequence of its success, Willow has weakened the barrier between life and death. Not only will resurrections be easier in the future, but undead are more strongly connected to life. No longer can a normal person stake a vampire, though Slayers still have the strength to force a stake through now hard bone to destroy the no-longer rotten but rather tough heart muscle. They're more human inside and more like Kakistos as far as the effort required to kill one with a stake. It's also easier for a vamp to be created, with any vamp bite causing sickness, eventual death, and raising as a vamp. The Scoobies don't know this yet.



5: Alive - working title

Spike/Dawn learn that Buffy is back, Giles returns from the UK, and A/X announce their engagement. Everyone's happy, though a little worried about Buffy's weakness which W assures them is normal. Giles confronts W about the spell, ranting about the dangers, talking about the possibility of bringing something else back, perhaps even Glory. W doesn't listen to him because of his tone and she knows none of that happened, but she's still upset. At bedtime, after Willow asserts that everything's fine, she responds to T telling her that this is the place where she doesn't have to be brave. She tells T about her fight with Giles and T tells W that she felt something happen during the spell, like something metaphysical breaking. T's worried.



6: Drained - working title

Willow heads up patrol again, while Buffy rests at home with Dawn and Tara. They're going to keep using Buffybot while Buffy's weak. She narrowly escapes a vamp with a stake sticking out of its sternum from where Xander staked it but couldn't reach the heart. All the vamps are hard to slay, but they're still found in normal quantities. Finding an alive but very much petrified near-vamp victim, Willow uses Lethe's Bramble to wipe his/her memory of the event, which Anya witnesses. After patrol, the Scoobies get together at the MB to research the new vamp problem. Spike confesses that he feels different somehow. Buffy’s behaviour is still numb and detached, and she cuts herself.



W makes up an excuse to leave the research party and seeks out Gabriel, as she was impressed with his knowledge. He gives her back the talisman, the power of which lets her drain the lifeforce/magick from another person to use for her own magic. We also learn that Gabriel’s surname is Brooks and that he had a wife who was killed by a group of vamps a few months before. The talisman is more powerful now that Willow has weakened the laws of life, making lifeforce easier to transfer. W goes to the graveyard/hellmouth to collect ambient/remnant lifeforce/magic that lingers in places of death/magic with the talisman and finds her telekinesis greatly improved, easily allowing her to stake a vamp now. Her other magicks are also easier to use and stronger.



Tara/Buffy talk while Willow's away, and Buffy and Spike begin to grow closer. After Spike notices the marks on her arms, Buffy tells him that her jump from to tower was both because of her love for Dawn, but also a partial suicide bid because she couldn’t cope with the pain of living any more. She vaguely remembers being happy, wherever she was, and she hates being forced back into the life she willingly gave up.



7: Seduction - working title

Harmony returns to Sunnydale, determined to paint the town red – literally. However, she has evolved from the vacuous bimbo of the Cordettes into a strong fighter whose acerbic comments cut deep into an increasingly vulnerable Willow. Lonely and desperate to feel, Buffy kisses Spike. Xander and Anya continue to plan their wedding. During Harmony patrol, Tara notes Willow’s talisman and feels its dark power; Willow tries to explain but eventually gives in and says she'll get rid of it.



8: Family Again - working title

Cousin Beth comes to town to ask for Tara's help as Donnie's gotten into Tara's mother’s old magic supplies and books and all she'll say is that he's doing magic and that he's changed. Willow's out returning the talisman to Gabriel when this happens.



Much is revealed about the Maclay family, her mother, and most significantly, the way in which she was taught to respect magic, including us learning that Tara unsuccessfully tried to resurrect her mother when she died.



When Donnie arrives, it's discovered that he's using magic by draining the power from others like Willow and he knows how to raise the dead as zombies or ghosts due to the restrictions of the barrier being lifted. Willow not only uses more magic on patrol, but also confronts Donnie and to her own surprise drains his lifeforce without the talisman until he's almost dead and has permanently lost his ability to do magic. She doesn't let Tara know how she dealt with him, being a bit afraid of what she did herself and wanting to figure it out before talking with Tara.



Dawn deals with her feelings about the depressed Buffy who has returned, having been happier this summer with Tara and Willow as her mothers and Buffybot as her big sister. They've deactivated the Buffybot (except on patrol') because of Buffy's return and Dawn's upset about that too. Buffy discovers her feelings, either directly or by overhearing, and is devastated.



If there's time and it fits, work in a small scene with Willow and her parents.



9: Altered. - working title

Dawn/Tara go out for movies and milkshakes by themselves and talk about Dawn and Tara's family issues from last chapter. Their day is pleasant but on a few occasions Tara ‘zones out’ and says bizarre things that she’s not aware of moments after, (similar to Joyce in Listening To Fear) ultimately collapsing upon their return to the Summers home.



Meanwhile, Harmony takes advantage of the easy-vamp situation and creates herself a gang, including Buffy-bot creator Warren, former geek Jonathon and a few other students from the college.



Willow talks with Gabriel about the fact she can drain magic without the talisman, and he explains that it's to be expected. Using the talisman has changed her ability to access magic, giving her this new ability but causing her to lose her old way.



Spike and Buffy grow closer, Spike discovering that his chip doesn't activate against Buffy. He thinks that means there's something wrong with Buffy, but the chip is just a simple computer, which has concluded that anyone walking around now who was dead before must be a vampire or demon of some sort. Humans don't do that.



The Scoobs (sans Spuffy) try to help a rapidly-ailing Tara and solve the vamp problem, which is growing serious as their numbers increase due to vampiric saliva which now converting people (unbeknownst to the Scoobies.) Willow expends the power she took from Donnie rapidly when fighting Harmony’s gang during patrol. She manages to kill VampJonathon, but the others get away. Spike and Buffy have sex.



10: Sickened - working title

Buffy wakes up in the morning feeling different and disgusted with herself for sleeping with Spike. She beats him up, then flees home to learn of last night's events. When she returns home, she finds Dawn tending a sick, semiconscious Tara who's raving about blood and death in the moments she can talk. Buffy's upset with herself for not being on patrol, but acquiesces to Willow's Scooby leadership.



Willow decides to fix Tara the way she did the first time using her greater power as well as Dawn's to make it permanent, but as Glory's not around she thrusts her fingers into Amyrat's skull and takes a piece of her mind that she thinks will restore Tara, figuring no one will notice, not even Amy rat who doesn't need a human mind.



Tara is fully restored and Willow is overjoyed, and there is more good news when Willow dusts Harmony during patrol. Buffy continues to feel isolated from the Scoobies due to her secrets.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[chilled monkey]

Sounds very good. Thank you very much for having Willow dust Harmony. I can't wait to see that.



I also have a few ideas:-



1. In 'Family Again', perhaps we could include a scene where (after Willow has drained him), Donnie goes to Gabriel and begs for his help. Gabriel refuses and kills him (first clue to how evil he really is).



2. Perhaps Tara's condition in Eps' 9 and 10 could be another side-effect of weakening the life/death barrier? (so Willow feels guilty about it).



3. In Episode 10, as foreshadowing, maybe Willow could torture Harmony before dusting her (or would that be too much at this point?)



As for Spuffy, I agree with you entirely.

[justin]

LWT, I like the new outline, there are some very good ideas there.



Chilled Monkey,

Quote:

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1. In 'Family Again', perhaps we could include a scene where (after Willow has drained him), Donnie goes to Gabriel and begs for his help. Gabriel refuses and kills him (first clue to how evil he really is).

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I like this idea

Quote:

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3. In Episode 10, as foreshadowing, maybe Willow could torture Harmony before dusting her (or would that be too much at this point?)

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Maybe what happens is Willow is driven beserk by Harmony's taunting and starts whaling on her like Faith in Faith, Hope and Trick



I agree about Spuffy. I don't think Spike was really was really in love with Buffy.



One idea was mentioned was that Spike should leave after trying to turn Buffy into a vampire. I think we should go with that idea.

Anya in a wimple...I'd pay full admission for that. Gods Served And Abandoned - by Antigone Unbound

[LostWithoutTara]

I'm glad the new outline is popular. I've started working on the other parts which will include the Spike leaving etc.



So I take it that a Smashed style-approach will work for ep 9? I thought the final scene in that episode was good (in a really disturbing, horrible way) and captured the desperation of Buffy's part. We just have to be care not to make Spike too sympathetic so it doesn't echo the real S6 in which Buffy looked bad.



Oh, and if you like the Harmony death, you should wait and see what I have planned for VampWarren!

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[chilled monkey]

LWT: I look forwards to seeing what you have in store for VampWarren. I know that it'll be good.



I agree that a Smashed-style approach is the way to go.



Justin: I'm glad you like my suggestions, thanks. With the Harmony thing, my idea is that it could be a way of showing how the magick is starting to affect Willow mentally, causing her to display mildly sadistic behaviour. Obviously she's not going to start torturing people or animals just for fun or anything like that, but if it happens during a battle, it would show how the magick reacts to hostile feelings. Beating the crap out of Harm. before killing her would do fine.



Am I making any sense?

[justin]

I've written a rough draft of part 4. So once I've typed it up and editted it a bit who should I send it to for beta-ing?

Anya in a wimple...I'd pay full admission for that. Gods Served And Abandoned - by Antigone Unbound

[LostWithoutTara]

Justin: I'll beta for you. Did you get my pt 3 update okay?



chilled monkey - I'm glad you have faith in my anti Warren sadism. I'm working on the other 12 episode outlines so I'll post them soon. Most are okay, but the last few are giving me real problems when it comes to fleshing them out without too many problems. Hopefully I'll have it finished tomorrow so we can see what can be improved.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[justin]

LWT, I got two versions of the story. Did you send any others?

Anya in a wimple...I'd pay full admission for that. Gods Served And Abandoned - by Antigone Unbound

[LostWithoutTara]

There was the initial one where the talisman was the Word of Valios; the second when it changed to the Eye of Horus; and a third when I just added a few details and facial expressions you suggested.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[justin]

Ah I think I missed the fact that there was an attachment on the last email.



I'm at a different computer, so could you send it again.

Anya in a wimple...I'd pay full admission for that. Gods Served And Abandoned - by Antigone Unbound

[LostWithoutTara]

Justin - I've sent the part to you.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[LostWithoutTara]

Hey everyone!



Anyway, onto the discussion. As we know, eps 1-3 are now up and posted ( ); and Ep 4 is in the works. I've been thinking about parts 5 and 6, but at the moment I don't know if I'm in a position to be able write five solo (I have so many work deadlines at the moment it's not even funny). Is it possible for anyone to give me a helping hand for ep 5? I'll be able to handle ep 6 solo, but 5 will be problematic. Any ideas?

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[justin]

I'll be able to help with part 5 once I've got part 4 finished.

Anya in a wimple...I'd pay full admission for that. Gods Served And Abandoned - by Antigone Unbound


You know the worst thing about people in a relationship? The fact that they're in a relationship. - Hilda Spellman