'If I had it all to do over again' Wednesday MKF 2/19

[Imperfectly Me]

So, I've been thinking about a lot of things lately (never a good thing) and looking at the choices I've made in my life. And while those choices are all a part of who I am, there are some things I would change in my past. Getting into drugs and dropping out of school for instance.
My question to all you kittens is what are the things you would go back and change if you could?
How do you think those changes would affect who you are today?
What do you think Willow and Tara would change from their pasts?

[LeBuffster]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. The thing I would like to change the most is that I, too, got into drugs and dropped out of school because of it, well, it was more like kicked out And I soo regret introducing her boyfriend to my best friend, not a good idea to do that when you're in love with her. Now they're all over each other and I'm left feeling even more lonely than before. Oh well, life sucks right now.

&
Diane

[indigogirlie]

I don't think i would do anything over again. I'm not saying i haven't made mistakes...believe me i've made loads. But when i think about where those choices or events have taken me, they seem to have happened for a reason, even if you have to go through alot of pain, i think you come out the other side a changed person. It's all about learning. SInce i believe in fate and reincarnation i think we have to learn certain things in this life and experience pain as well as happiness.
Even if you don't believe in all that, the mistakes we make help us learn not to do it again!
Diane, i'm sorry if you're lonely, i am too sometimes, but at least you've got the kittens!

[The Angry Lion]

i did what i did coz i felt i had to do it, id probably try to take back mean things i said to sum ppl. i think a lot about a girl i was besotted with last year but it wouldnt have worked

[Scout]

I think I agree with indigogirlie regarding changing the big stuff. Ive made lots of mistakes, but if I went back and changed them then I might have turned out to be a totally different person. Its amazing how some of the hardest things have the biggest impact in making us who we are and I mean in a good way.

Im also here today to complain about snow. I have two feet in my yard and on my car. I used to love snow now, not so much. The worst thing is that when Im on the Beltway going around DC, and everyone is doing 60-80 mph, suddenly the lane disappears into a mound of snow. Apparently, the plow people just stop plowing a lane for some reason, pick up their shovel, and move on. Theres nothing like driving 70 mph into a mound of snow on a crowded highway.

I think I saw a robin yesterday maybe spring is just around the corner.

[Kalita]

Hey, come live up here, Scout. In Toronto, 2 feet is nothing! We wait for 3 feet before we call in the army.

(Sorry, local joke.)

I'm also of the opinion that if I changed too much, I wouldn't be myself anymore. But, then, I look at that other me and wonder if it would be that bad...

Well, no sense speculating too far! I'm busy enough as it is. Have a great day, folks.

[Firefoot]

If I had to do anything over, it would be to take more risks and be more adventurous. The circumstances of my life have forced me to be fairly cautious and conservative about almost everything I've done, because I simply didn't have a cushion to fall back on if things didn't work out. So all the paths I've chosen in life have been safe ones. Not that I'm complaining too loudly--I've had a reasonably good life and have enjoyed doing a number of varied and interesting things. It just hasn't been a terribly challenging life or one that is deeply fulfilling (or what I imagine deeply fulfilling might feel like). But OTOH, I have a solid job, a stable family, good friends, decent health, money, and security. There's something to be said for all those things, and indeed, having them might well be worth sacrificing a little excitement.

Interesting topic!

Firefoot
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[elessar007]

If I could go back and change things I don't think I would alter anything as simple as turning left instead of right thus avoiding a fender-bender. Those kinds of decisions are not the ones I would want to change. What I would prefer to change are things like allowing myself to lose touch with dear friends from days past. I literally have contact with only two people that I met before I was twenty. Of course that number discounts family but I still think it is remarkably low. Especially when I consider how emotional events are during adolesence you would think that stronger bonds would be formed. Bonds that would stand a longer test of time. To think that all of my friends from high school are now just memories that are slowly fading away is sad. I had some great friends during those years and now they are just echoes of a past on the verge of disappearing. Allowing myself to just let those relationships die is the kind of decision that I would change if I could.

[fluffylamb]

I like ellessar007s thoughts a lot. I feel saddened that a lot of my friendships from earlier times in my life have faded.

Still, the one thing that I truly wish I could change one thing concerns a relationship I had during my semester abroad. My resolution not to get involved with anyone during my time abroad lasted for about 24 hours. I met the most amazing woman and had a very intense relationship that carried over into the following summer. When the end of the summer came, she broke off the relationship, asking me something to the effect of, Werent you the one who said that this was just for the semester? I dont remember saying that, thinking that or feeling that, but I wish that I could go back and take away anything I ever did to make her think that I felt that way. Its odd regretting something that you dont even remember doing. I know that things happen for a reason, but this one still keeps me up some nights, even after 7 years.

Oh, given the chance, Id also go back and get the bigger engine in my Jeep, fuel effeciency be damned.

[bowieinberlin]

One year ago today I gave up trying to live my secret drug-centered lifestyle. I admitted that I needed help. I checked into treatment that night.

I can't believe it's been a whole year. I wouldn't change any of that for the world. Since then, I've gotten a job, interviewed Amber , come out to my family and friends, completed all my college coursework, and built up a mighty-fine bond with someone I care about immensely.

Hell no, I don't want to change any of that. Nope. None.

[WiccansIllusion]

There are a lot of things I would do over again. I would have told Jess, an old ex I loved her sooner then I did.

Lately I've been thinking about such things as well. I've realized I used her as a crutch and thought I was still in love with her when I'm not. I also regret sleeping with someone on the first date and leading them on. I would have done it differently.

[La]

Of the big things, I don't know that I would really change anything. Everything that has happened to me has made me the person I am today.

One small thing I might change would be to have gone directly to culinary school after returning from Korea instead of taking this two-year detour and getting my masters. I'm going to end up being a rather over-qualified baker.

[Jimmi Magnus]

Sally, congratulations

[frogfear]

tough question...good question - but tough.

I think if I was to change anything it be - me being more honest with myself
at an earlier age. That and having the courage to stand by my befiefs.

I was very pliable in my youth, and let myelf be led into situations which were
just not for me. All because I wanted to do what do others told me was the right thing.

I'm talking about denying my own awareness of my sexuality and getting
married. Followed by the years of struggling to fit that mold, even though it was making me miserable.

The flip side of that coin though is that now I am Mummy to the most precious
3 year old girl in the world, and I am loved by the most wonderous woman that was ever created.

I have learned to beleive in myself, and that it is not who you love but how rather how you love which defines you as a person.

Oh yeh......my cup definately runneth over.

[Scout]

Kalita
[quote:987475242f]Quote:

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Hey, come live up here, Scout. In Toronto, 2 feet is nothing! We wait for 3 feet before we call in the army. (Sorry, local joke.)

---

[/quote:987475242f]
hehe. Were wimps we called in the National Guard with only two. But its actually nice to know that there are folks elsewhere who deal with this stuff all the time, and that they do just fine. If only people here knew how to drive in the stuff, then itd be less of an adventure.

[Garner]

Going back and changing things is like asking someone how many regrets they have. If I have any regrets than that is something I would want to go back and change. If I had no regrets than I wouldn't change a thing.

This is almost like an AU sort of thing for me. There are a couple of things that I could have done differently, choices I made in college that if I didn't make, it would be interesting to see how I would have turned out. There is also one relationship decision I made, or didn't make as the case is, and I wish I had. Still, all told, without the choices I did make I wouldn't be here now, and I would have most likely missed all the kittens I've met and grown to know. That is something I wouldn't like to see changed.

Lastly, it is never too late to change now. Those decisions on drugs, alcohol, even relationships can often still be made or applied to ones current life. It is when things seem set in stone with no way out that one is truly in trouble and needs to reassess where they are at and what they are doing. If they do I think they find that there really are decisions still to be made, choices available. At least that has always been my view.

Garner

[GottaLuvAmber]

I would definitely redo high school, in terms of getting active sooner that my senior year and because, well, I really became obsessed with this one popular guy. Then the whole school knew about my crush and he was straight and would never wanted me, and my friends were horrible because they tormented him, and he believed I was the one always bothering him. It was a bad situation that I never fully got out of until I graduated and never saw him again.........although he was on "Dismissed" once.

But yeah, I'd be more active and stop my crush very early on if I could go back and redo high school. My life would've been a lot happier.

[Sassette]

I'd change my first words from whatever they were to: "Hey, Dad - Buy Microsoft."

-Sass

[WebWarlock]

One night after taking in way to many illeagal substances I sat back and thought, what would my life had been like if I had gone to U of I first instead of SIU. I was accepted at both schools, but I liked SIU better, and it turns out it was the better choice for me. I ended up with my Ph.D. from U of I anyway...

So I thought.

I realized soon that everything from the time I was 18 would have been different. I never would have met my wife, I never would have had my son, I would not have all of these memories of some really great times at SIU.

Then I laughed.

I am pretty happy where I am. I would not want to change a thing. Even the smallest details turn out to be life altering events. It's like chaos theory, only without the nice differential equations to rely on.

Buy Microsoft though would have been a good one. But then again if I had the money that MS stock would have brought me, I could have gone to a better school, but ended up in a worse life.

Alternate realities are cool.

Warlock

[Rosenberg]

If I spent too much time thinking about the what ifs and if only I think I would drive myself mad. In hindsight, its much easier to see your mistakes and miscalculations, but we dont have the benefit of hindsight at the time were making decisions. I would certainly be a different person today if I had made different decisions when I was younger, but I dont think that was meant to be. For some reason, I feel that I was meant to be here doing what Im doing now, and thats why I made the choices I made previously. Im where Im supposed to be and its up to me to determine why Im here and what I need to do with my life from this point forward. My path has led me here for a purpose and its up to me to discover what that purpose is and how to fulfill it.

[Shadow ALH]

Interessting topic!

I've thought about this a lot, especially since meeting my gf. About a year before I met her she was sitting on a brick wall and got hit by a car. She lost a good pound of flesh on her leg and was in the hospital for a couple of weeks, but is fine now except for a pretty crazy scar or two. Anyway, she is such a wonderful and down to earth person that I have often told her that I wish she hadn't of gone through all of that pain, or that I had known her so that I could have been there to be by her side in the hospital, but if I could change anything I wouldn't. That horrible accident is part of what made her the most amazing person in the world, and I wouldn't want to risk changing her or how we met because then things might be less perfect.

I guess I feel the same way about myself. I am really happy with my life now, and although I have done some stupid things and made many mistakes, I wouldn't want to change them because they might change everthing.

I really do believe everything happens for a reason, but then again I might have a different opinion if I wasn't quite so happy right now.

[Rane018]

lol, mine's simple... never would have left NYC to come to LA...

as for the girls i'm sure willow wishes she'd never done those spells on Tara. tara... hmm... gosh... i dunno... she seems solid with all the decisions we've seen her take

[atse28]

actually I do have a few things I would certainly do over again.

I had this friend for nine years who was my best friend I guess. And it took me nine years to only finally realise that she was possessive, controlling and manipulative.

Although she taught me a lot through the nine years, I wish I had the strength then during those years to stand up to her. She didnt like a lot of my friends and I didnt have the courage to upset her (yes thats how badly I was under her thumb) etc etc and thus I lived to please her. Thats how I feel anyway.

I know that Ive been scarred psychologically by her. Its been almost 4 years since Ive seen her or spoken to her and I hope it stays that way.

I know the friendship we had has shaped a lot of the person I am now but thats only my one true regret. Everything else I have learnt from and can make the best of.

Interesting question and certainly thought provoking to delve back into your past and see whether or not you are happy with the choices youve made.

[DestruktorMel]

When I was 16, I started having major knee problems, and for a year, I went back and forth between physical therapy and braces, but nothing helped. Finally, this doctor wanted to operate, but he wanted to do them both at once, and he didn't have the best bedside manors. So, I decided to try another doctor, find one I could trust. The other doctor only did one, and now, I've been to four other doctors, and none of them will do the other knee.

I think if I could change anything, I'd go back and let the first doctor just go ahead and do both. Even though he had crappy bedside manors, he at least understood that both knees have the same problem, and they both need to be fixed. And I'm starting to think he's the only doctor in Southern California to think that...

Mellie

[cassiopeia191]

I read this beautiful passage in "Mrs Dalloway" the other day...unfortunately, I can't quote it but it said something like:

She wished she were one of those people who did things just to do them. She had wasted so much time doing things only to see people react or to impress them while they never even really looked.

If I had to do it all over again, I would stop trying to impress people or pretend to be something I am not, and do my thing because this is the most purposeful and beautiful thing a person can do: be her-/himself.

Also, I would try to find some way to communicate with my parents but this would only be possible if we had established a sense of honesty between us. I don't know if I could have done anything to do this as I'm still really young and not really acting, more watching but if I could, I would try to find a way to not let them hurt me the way they did and to free myself from them and their decisions.

A year ago, being asked, I said that I wouldn't change a thing if I were able to because all those experiences made me what I was back then and I was okay with the person I was. I basically still agree with this but nobody reaches perfection, really, and I think life would be easier if we would just realize things when they're in front and not when they're already behind us. One could start a philosophical discussion here. I won't. Have a great day anyway...I really enjoy reading this thread.